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Anon is a little pent-up | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 08/08/24(Thu)05:01:26 No.62232552 ►>>62233253 >>62231750 >Listen here you little s---------, I haven't had a piece of ass in six goddamn months. You hand over that goat or i'll radio that we're taking fire and they'll drop so much goddamn ordnance on your s----- little mudhuts that the guys on the next rotation will think this is where Kubrick faked the f------ moon landing"
☐ Anonymous 08/08/24(Thu)05:01:26 No.62232552 ►>>62233253 >>62231750 >Listen here you little s---------, I haven't had a piece of ass in six goddamn months. You hand over that goat or i'll radio that we're taking fire and they'll drop so much goddamn ordnance on your s----- little mudhuts that the guys on the next rotation will think this is where Kubrick faked the f------ moon landing"

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Ride of the Valkyries | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)18:31:56 No.62105585 polishflag.jpg 63 KB JPG >half the military budget >has better army equipment than britain and an army twice the size How did they do it?
Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)18:31:56 No.62105585 polishflag.jpg 63 KB JPG >half the military budget >has better army equipment than britain and an army twice the size How did they do it?

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Anon got adopted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Strange Encounter 124 KB JPG 12/31/23(Sun)10:12:24 No.911612670 >be me >23 >on tinder >match with 45 year old woman >go to her place to f--- >she insists I call her mommy while f------ >calls me son >she unironically made me a packed lunch before I left What just happened
Anonymous Strange Encounter 124 KB JPG 12/31/23(Sun)10:12:24 No.911612670 >be me >23 >on tinder >match with 45 year old woman >go to her place to f--- >she insists I call her mommy while f------ >calls me son >she unironically made me a packed lunch before I left What just happened

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Escape from Commie Block | /r/Greentext

File: imkms.png (415 KB, 564x319) ☐ How do I escape? Anonymous (ID: 10hwvDK2) 08/13/24(Tue)00:01:08 No.4 >Be born in commie block, dream of living in the countryside >Finally move out to the country >Turns out the only job I can get is fixing up apartments in commie blocks in the city >End up spending all days in the s--- I tried to escape How do I end this vicious circle?
File: imkms.png (415 KB, 564x319) ☐ How do I escape? Anonymous (ID: 10hwvDK2) 08/13/24(Tue)00:01:08 No.4 >Be born in commie block, dream of living in the countryside >Finally move out to the country >Turns out the only job I can get is fixing up apartments in commie blocks in the city >End up spending all days in the s--- I tried to escape How do I end this vicious circle?

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Fun in your head | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat) 19:16:05 No.67947955 reason at all >Be extremely depressed >Make up delusions of grandeur and superiority >Start unironically believing said delusions >Stop being depressed and feel like a literal god for no It's this easy, you can change so much in a moment, reality is merely an illusion you can bend to your will and so is your personality. 8 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous View Thread 03/26/22(Sat) 19:24:26 No.67948051 >>67947955 (OP) # you're legitimately describing manic depression Imfao
Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat) 19:16:05 No.67947955 reason at all >Be extremely depressed >Make up delusions of grandeur and superiority >Start unironically believing said delusions >Stop being depressed and feel like a literal god for no It's this easy, you can change so much in a moment, reality is merely an illusion you can bend to your will and so is your personality. 8 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous View Thread 03/26/22(Sat) 19:24:26 No.67948051 >>67947955 (OP) # you're legitimately describing manic depression Imfao

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Anon C4's the Scout. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8/14/2024, 2:28:41 AM No.83119238 61 KB JPEG > Purposefully blow up scout with C4 > Revive scout afterwards > Scout rock and stones > Blow up scout with C4 again What is this strategy called?
Anonymous 8/14/2024, 2:28:41 AM No.83119238 61 KB JPEG > Purposefully blow up scout with C4 > Revive scout afterwards > Scout rock and stones > Blow up scout with C4 again What is this strategy called?

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Anon is insecure. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 29 KB PNG Anonymous 08/13/24(Tue)21:31:46 No.78484598 >Gay dude flirts with me >Don't play into it >Directly asks me out >Tell him I'm not homosexual >"You won't know until you try" How do I respond without sounding insecure? 08/13/24(Tue)22:50:36 No.78485219 >>78484598 (OP) >how many women have you f-----?
Anonymous 29 KB PNG Anonymous 08/13/24(Tue)21:31:46 No.78484598 >Gay dude flirts with me >Don't play into it >Directly asks me out >Tell him I'm not homosexual >"You won't know until you try" How do I respond without sounding insecure? 08/13/24(Tue)22:50:36 No.78485219 >>78484598 (OP) >how many women have you f-----?

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Anon lives in the big apple | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 KB JPG >BADDA BING >be me >20 05/08/16(Sun)23:04:54 No.683368161 >walking around Brooklyn >new to the city >feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top of my lungs > some fat guy in a greasy tank top yells from his apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw
Anonymous 6 KB JPG >BADDA BING >be me >20 05/08/16(Sun)23:04:54 No.683368161 >walking around Brooklyn >new to the city >feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top of my lungs > some fat guy in a greasy tank top yells from his apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw

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Cultural Exporter | /r/Greentext

Board /bant/ - International/Random Anonymous (ID: B5YNvZoo) = ▼ Settings Mobile Home 08/13/24(Tue)17:37:17 No.20981061 British people be like: 373 KB PNG >"Lol Americans are soooo f------ fat" >*Deep-fries a hot dog*
Board /bant/ - International/Random Anonymous (ID: B5YNvZoo) = ▼ Settings Mobile Home 08/13/24(Tue)17:37:17 No.20981061 British people be like: 373 KB PNG >"Lol Americans are soooo f------ fat" >*Deep-fries a hot dog*

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Anon commits the perfect crime | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 08/13/24(Tue)22:08:26 No.78482101 > Walking through town > Wearing my mirrored sunglasses > Zoomer pick-me girl walking towards me > Keep my head turned straight ahead > She thinks I don't know she knows I'm looking at her > But I'm not looking at her > I'm checking out her twink-looking BF, wondering how his d--- tastes
☐ Anonymous 08/13/24(Tue)22:08:26 No.78482101 > Walking through town > Wearing my mirrored sunglasses > Zoomer pick-me girl walking towards me > Keep my head turned straight ahead > She thinks I don't know she knows I'm looking at her > But I'm not looking at her > I'm checking out her twink-looking BF, wondering how his d--- tastes

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An Endless Cycle | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 08/13/24(Tue)16:50:40 No.78481928 You Tube 39 KB PNG >Really like a YT video >Want to save it to make a YTP >Copy the URL >Type in "YouTube to MP4" >Click on the first result >"This website wants to know your location" >Click Deny >Click where you're supposed to paste in the link >P--- popup >Click deny >Close popup >Paste in link >Click Convert >P--- popup >Close popup >"Converting" >... >... >... >Go back to google >Click on the second result >Rinse and repeat I know one of them will work. MP4
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 08/13/24(Tue)16:50:40 No.78481928 You Tube 39 KB PNG >Really like a YT video >Want to save it to make a YTP >Copy the URL >Type in "YouTube to MP4" >Click on the first result >"This website wants to know your location" >Click Deny >Click where you're supposed to paste in the link >P--- popup >Click deny >Close popup >Paste in link >Click Convert >P--- popup >Close popup >"Converting" >... >... >... >Go back to google >Click on the second result >Rinse and repeat I know one of them will work. MP4

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Anon can't talk to women | /r/Greentext

File: missing.png (132 KB, 1080x1080) >Realize what just happened Anonymous 08/13/24(Tue)13:01:20 No.78480463 >Be me >Be at Uni >Be walking from math class to parking lot >Look like average alt guy >8/10 Short blue hair alt girl walks up to me >Looks like a prettier version of my ex >"I like your Black Sabbath T-shirt." >"Uh-hh t-thanks." >She smiles obviously still wanting to talk to me >Walk beside her for a minute silent >She asks "Hey where are you walking to?" >Literally did a 90 degree turn when she said something >Walk away scared of her because ex flashbacks >Get in car >Drive home >Lay in bed with TOOL playing Why am I like this
File: missing.png (132 KB, 1080x1080) >Realize what just happened Anonymous 08/13/24(Tue)13:01:20 No.78480463 >Be me >Be at Uni >Be walking from math class to parking lot >Look like average alt guy >8/10 Short blue hair alt girl walks up to me >Looks like a prettier version of my ex >"I like your Black Sabbath T-shirt." >"Uh-hh t-thanks." >She smiles obviously still wanting to talk to me >Walk beside her for a minute silent >She asks "Hey where are you walking to?" >Literally did a 90 degree turn when she said something >Walk away scared of her because ex flashbacks >Get in car >Drive home >Lay in bed with TOOL playing Why am I like this

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Companies are not your friends | /r/Greentext

Settings Mobile Home WTFisGoing OnAtAMD? CantExplain This DNS AIGO RYZEN 119 KB JPG 08/13/24(Tue)14:27:37 No. 101867665 >Be AMD >Produce CPUs for Intel >Make better product than Intel, go rogue >Beat Intel to first 1 GHz Processor, actually unbelievable achievement >Beat Intel to x86-64, actually call it AMD64 >Intel makes first Dual Core CPU, its horseshit. Release Athlon 64 X2, actually decent. >First True Multi-Core Server Processor, Opteron 875 >First to Integrate a Memory Controller on the CPU >First Quad-Core x86 Processor >First to release consumer 7nm Process Technology >First to release consumer PCIe 4.0 Support >Far more cores during Intel's 4c8t only days >Consumer Threadripper products, prosumer stuff, release HPDT platforms after Intel abandons them >First x86 Processor to Break the 5 GHz Barrier in All Cores >Far superior Integrated Graphics Performance, so good you market them as APUs >First x86 3D Chiplets (3D V-Cache) >Still the underdog >Getting s------- and more Intel-like as soon as you're starting to catch up >W--?
Settings Mobile Home WTFisGoing OnAtAMD? CantExplain This DNS AIGO RYZEN 119 KB JPG 08/13/24(Tue)14:27:37 No. 101867665 >Be AMD >Produce CPUs for Intel >Make better product than Intel, go rogue >Beat Intel to first 1 GHz Processor, actually unbelievable achievement >Beat Intel to x86-64, actually call it AMD64 >Intel makes first Dual Core CPU, its horseshit. Release Athlon 64 X2, actually decent. >First True Multi-Core Server Processor, Opteron 875 >First to Integrate a Memory Controller on the CPU >First Quad-Core x86 Processor >First to release consumer 7nm Process Technology >First to release consumer PCIe 4.0 Support >Far more cores during Intel's 4c8t only days >Consumer Threadripper products, prosumer stuff, release HPDT platforms after Intel abandons them >First x86 Processor to Break the 5 GHz Barrier in All Cores >Far superior Integrated Graphics Performance, so good you market them as APUs >First x86 3D Chiplets (3D V-Cache) >Still the underdog >Getting s------- and more Intel-like as soon as you're starting to catch up >W--?

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Anon hates Satanists | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/13/24(Tue)02:35:26 No.16955346 >>16955417 >>16955438 >>16955442 Why did Satanists pick f------ Lucifer to be their "symbol ま of rebellion and freedom"? From what little we know about him he started a thousand year conflict that led to the creation of death because he was a petty little bitch who wanted to get into a d--- measuring contest with God and regularly enslaves humans just to torture them. His crimes get even worse if you start including Baal or Molech as his subordinate and he sure as s--- isn't some quirky progressive savior of the people. >"Oh but we don't really believe he exists. He just represents....." THEN MAKE UP A DIFFERENT CHARACTER YOU UNORIGINAL HACKS!!!!
Anonymous 08/13/24(Tue)02:35:26 No.16955346 >>16955417 >>16955438 >>16955442 Why did Satanists pick f------ Lucifer to be their "symbol ま of rebellion and freedom"? From what little we know about him he started a thousand year conflict that led to the creation of death because he was a petty little bitch who wanted to get into a d--- measuring contest with God and regularly enslaves humans just to torture them. His crimes get even worse if you start including Baal or Molech as his subordinate and he sure as s--- isn't some quirky progressive savior of the people. >"Oh but we don't really believe he exists. He just represents....." THEN MAKE UP A DIFFERENT CHARACTER YOU UNORIGINAL HACKS!!!!

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The microtransactions trap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/24(Tue)20:46:20 No.684798205 Hooks UI Theme Name Card Ecive Skin Emotes chment chment Screenshot_20240806-144555.png 1.57 MB PNG >Be me >HATE micro transactions and what they've done to the video game industry >stat playing this game >2 hours later I've already dropped $30 on sexy bikini skins How do they keep getting away with it?
: Anonymous 08/06/24(Tue)20:46:20 No.684798205 Hooks UI Theme Name Card Ecive Skin Emotes chment chment Screenshot_20240806-144555.png 1.57 MB PNG >Be me >HATE micro transactions and what they've done to the video game industry >stat playing this game >2 hours later I've already dropped $30 on sexy bikini skins How do they keep getting away with it?

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Anon is young. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/12/24(Mon) 13:40:36 No.78470494 75 KB JPG Anon, please don't tell me you're a terminally online 25+ kissless, hugless virgin male with no attractive qualities who does nothing but watch Japanese cope cartoons all day where some super bland guy gets a harem of 10/10 cute girls for no reason while you go onto boards to talk about how much you "hate women" while all the reasons you ever muster up as to why you "hate" them all basically come down to that they don't give you affection? Anonymous 08/12/24(Mon) 16:24:44 No.78471874 >>78470494 (OP). >No I'm actually only 24
Anonymous 08/12/24(Mon) 13:40:36 No.78470494 75 KB JPG Anon, please don't tell me you're a terminally online 25+ kissless, hugless virgin male with no attractive qualities who does nothing but watch Japanese cope cartoons all day where some super bland guy gets a harem of 10/10 cute girls for no reason while you go onto boards to talk about how much you "hate women" while all the reasons you ever muster up as to why you "hate" them all basically come down to that they don't give you affection? Anonymous 08/12/24(Mon) 16:24:44 No.78471874 >>78470494 (OP). >No I'm actually only 24

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Recuperation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)06:19:50 No.62102821 Метод 1 Рисунок 1. Поместите гранату под бронежилет так, чтобы она не могла выпасть. под наход Кодов инфор Контрол укрытия Рисунок 2. Лягте на гранату, придавив её своим телом, чтобы она оставалась под бронежилетом и ждите. Обучение Боевая включая так Физическ подготовки, чт нагрузкам. Психологическа стрессовым ситуа решения. Использование ме Изучение местн возможные укрытия Тактика укрытия: Испо маскировки и защиты мишенью. 1721271500436629.png 421 KB PNG Мин >grenade dropped >just press it on the ground with your body armor Does this actually work?
: Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)06:19:50 No.62102821 Метод 1 Рисунок 1. Поместите гранату под бронежилет так, чтобы она не могла выпасть. под наход Кодов инфор Контрол укрытия Рисунок 2. Лягте на гранату, придавив её своим телом, чтобы она оставалась под бронежилетом и ждите. Обучение Боевая включая так Физическ подготовки, чт нагрузкам. Психологическа стрессовым ситуа решения. Использование ме Изучение местн возможные укрытия Тактика укрытия: Испо маскировки и защиты мишенью. 1721271500436629.png 421 KB PNG Мин >grenade dropped >just press it on the ground with your body armor Does this actually work?

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Anon can't find work. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/12/24(Mon) 17:22:07 No.78472424 START DOING THIS 240 KB JPG Anonymous START DOING THIS 59 KB JPG >4 years of undergrad >3 years of law school (graduated c-- laude at my state's top school) >still can't find a job after applying to over 40 places So what am I supposed to do now 08/12/24(Mon) 17:30:19 No.78472501 >>78472424 (OP). Adopt a minimalistic, frugal lifestyle as a NEET or while working s----- jobs, or picrel
Anonymous 08/12/24(Mon) 17:22:07 No.78472424 START DOING THIS 240 KB JPG Anonymous START DOING THIS 59 KB JPG >4 years of undergrad >3 years of law school (graduated c-- laude at my state's top school) >still can't find a job after applying to over 40 places So what am I supposed to do now 08/12/24(Mon) 17:30:19 No.78472501 >>78472424 (OP). Adopt a minimalistic, frugal lifestyle as a NEET or while working s----- jobs, or picrel

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Anon has a wholesome work experience. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/08/2024, 20:49:12 No.78967789 8 KB JPEG >Be me. > Work in Mental Health and Gaming. > Be at work. A client comes in. > He says "I'm here to see Anon. > I say "I'm Anon" > He says "Anon is a girls name. > I say "I'm a girl" > He says "You have Wide Shoulders" > A lot of my clients have autism and are socially isolated. I unzip my hoodie. I'm wearing a close cut spiderman shirt. When we spoke on the phone, he said he liked Spiderman. > He's still suspicious. > "Yeah. Okay. You're a Girl. But are you Anon? > I say "Yeah, I'm Anon. I wore this shirt because I thought you'd like it. You said you liked the Spiderman games. > He starts crying. > Oh s---. > "It's Okay. We can do your interview next week. I know this is probably a lot" > He says "No. I really wanted you to be Anon when I saw you. You looked like a cool person. Please interview me. > I make him coffee and we have the interview. He says he wants to join the program. > He asks "Will I get to game with you Anon? > I say "Of course. I'd love to game with you" > He looks away. He might tear up again. > "Are you okay? > "Yes. But we can't really play Spiderman together. It's single player." > "We could take turns? Or I could sit with you and watch you play." >He's so happy. He does start to tear up again. I feel my face going red. I never knew I could make someone so happy by doing my job.
Anonymous 11/08/2024, 20:49:12 No.78967789 8 KB JPEG >Be me. > Work in Mental Health and Gaming. > Be at work. A client comes in. > He says "I'm here to see Anon. > I say "I'm Anon" > He says "Anon is a girls name. > I say "I'm a girl" > He says "You have Wide Shoulders" > A lot of my clients have autism and are socially isolated. I unzip my hoodie. I'm wearing a close cut spiderman shirt. When we spoke on the phone, he said he liked Spiderman. > He's still suspicious. > "Yeah. Okay. You're a Girl. But are you Anon? > I say "Yeah, I'm Anon. I wore this shirt because I thought you'd like it. You said you liked the Spiderman games. > He starts crying. > Oh s---. > "It's Okay. We can do your interview next week. I know this is probably a lot" > He says "No. I really wanted you to be Anon when I saw you. You looked like a cool person. Please interview me. > I make him coffee and we have the interview. He says he wants to join the program. > He asks "Will I get to game with you Anon? > I say "Of course. I'd love to game with you" > He looks away. He might tear up again. > "Are you okay? > "Yes. But we can't really play Spiderman together. It's single player." > "We could take turns? Or I could sit with you and watch you play." >He's so happy. He does start to tear up again. I feel my face going red. I never knew I could make someone so happy by doing my job.

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Anon pranks old lady | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)18:26:29 No.876184042 >be me >be white Lawn-Mower-201709-004.jpg 411 KB JPG >have job in landscaping for multiple HOAS >work with a lot of latinos who speak little to no English >white lady comes up to me "OH thank God, someone who speaks English" >start speaking back to her in Dutch
Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)18:26:29 No.876184042 >be me >be white Lawn-Mower-201709-004.jpg 411 KB JPG >have job in landscaping for multiple HOAS >work with a lot of latinos who speak little to no English >white lady comes up to me "OH thank God, someone who speaks English" >start speaking back to her in Dutch

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