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Anon gives his gym shoes to a homeless person | /r/Greentext

KB, O Anonymous 09/26/23(Tue)21:53:02 No.29840099 >be me >hook up on tinder with 4/10 obese roastie >could prob do better but she sucks a good d--- >she buys me new gym sports shoes >weird super expensive nike shoes with giant clear rubber soles >they look dumb as f---, no way im wearing these things >decide to give them to homeless brown immigrant who lives in gym trash cans >he seems pleased >fast forward a couple of months, obese roastie wants to not be obese >after a month of daily blowing im willing to accept her despite her looks >she comes to gym to lose her unsightly blubber >sees homeless brown immigrant in street outside gym with my nikes >gets really upset about why i dont have the shoes >she starts crying, saying how humiliated she feels >i tell her he threatened me >she tells gym manager who calls cops >cops want to speak to me about the "robbery" Bros need some advice. No way im being honest about this. Im willing to let the homeless guy go to jail over this but i dont want to lie to police as thats a crime. I really want to keep getting sucked by this girl and dont want her to leave me.
KB, O Anonymous 09/26/23(Tue)21:53:02 No.29840099 >be me >hook up on tinder with 4/10 obese roastie >could prob do better but she sucks a good d--- >she buys me new gym sports shoes >weird super expensive nike shoes with giant clear rubber soles >they look dumb as f---, no way im wearing these things >decide to give them to homeless brown immigrant who lives in gym trash cans >he seems pleased >fast forward a couple of months, obese roastie wants to not be obese >after a month of daily blowing im willing to accept her despite her looks >she comes to gym to lose her unsightly blubber >sees homeless brown immigrant in street outside gym with my nikes >gets really upset about why i dont have the shoes >she starts crying, saying how humiliated she feels >i tell her he threatened me >she tells gym manager who calls cops >cops want to speak to me about the "robbery" Bros need some advice. No way im being honest about this. Im willing to let the homeless guy go to jail over this but i dont want to lie to police as thats a crime. I really want to keep getting sucked by this girl and dont want her to leave me.

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Anon reads the Lord of the Rings | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/25/23(Mon)10:06:44 No.190253334 >Be Sauron >side with Morgoth >archangels intervene to f--- your s--- royally up >Morgoth gets buttock blasted into the void >start s--- up again >corrupt Numenor >literally God intervenes to f--- your s--- up >start s--- up again >everyone pools their resources to f--- your s--- up >start s--- up AGAIN I mean is this guy retarded or what? I mean he knows for a FACT that even if he wins God will sink the whole place and call it a day. There's literally no scenario where he gets to win. >>190253412 # >>190256238 # >>190256794 # >>190257425 # >>190259587 # >>190260034 # >>190275546 #
: Anonymous 09/25/23(Mon)10:06:44 No.190253334 >Be Sauron >side with Morgoth >archangels intervene to f--- your s--- royally up >Morgoth gets buttock blasted into the void >start s--- up again >corrupt Numenor >literally God intervenes to f--- your s--- up >start s--- up again >everyone pools their resources to f--- your s--- up >start s--- up AGAIN I mean is this guy retarded or what? I mean he knows for a FACT that even if he wins God will sink the whole place and call it a day. There's literally no scenario where he gets to win. >>190253412 # >>190256238 # >>190256794 # >>190257425 # >>190259587 # >>190260034 # >>190275546 #

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Anon knows something we don’t | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous O 39 KB JPG >>32541048 # 08/27/23(Sun)19:12:08 : Anonymous >>32540993 (OP) # How No.32540993 i just masturbated using my ear and now my ear hurts did i f--- up? is there no going back from this? and also does this make me a degenerate? 08/27/23(Sun)19:13:15 No.32541008
: Anonymous O 39 KB JPG >>32541048 # 08/27/23(Sun)19:12:08 : Anonymous >>32540993 (OP) # How No.32540993 i just masturbated using my ear and now my ear hurts did i f--- up? is there no going back from this? and also does this make me a degenerate? 08/27/23(Sun)19:13:15 No.32541008

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Anon fails. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/27/23(Wed)21:22:03 IT'S OVER 416 KB PNG No.74877875 >Finally get a gf >She doesn't have a penis
Anonymous 09/27/23(Wed)21:22:03 IT'S OVER 416 KB PNG No.74877875 >Finally get a gf >She doesn't have a penis

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Battered by Fate | /r/Greentext

50m (9/27 0:30) - 906707528-7 Re - 0 Img PNG 25KB (1024 × 683) 1024px-Incel_1.png 2 Replies >me >28 lv >never had a gf never talked with women or had female friends ⠀ >my mother is mentaly ill wanted to stab me with a kitchen knife stole my money abused me >no perspectives in life >bullied in all schools >no friends >living in germany as a non german any protips how to get a gf?
50m (9/27 0:30) - 906707528-7 Re - 0 Img PNG 25KB (1024 × 683) 1024px-Incel_1.png 2 Replies >me >28 lv >never had a gf never talked with women or had female friends ⠀ >my mother is mentaly ill wanted to stab me with a kitchen knife stole my money abused me >no perspectives in life >bullied in all schools >no friends >living in germany as a non german any protips how to get a gf?

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To Catch A Predator | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 35 KB JPG 09/08/21 (Wed)02:34:04 No.155984055 >Pray tell, who leads this inquisition? >Tis I, my Lor- >Not henceforth. 09/08/21 (Wed)02:44:21 No.155984471 : Anonymous >my liege, this man that we pursue, it seems he does naught but spend his days in idleness >He does no work? >no my lord >but how does he feed his wife and children? >he has none, sire >Is he not a man well into the summer of his life? >verily, my lord, but he lives as though still a child, we have on good account he hath never lain with a woman >You would have me believe this knave be the worst sort of simpleton, but nay, it cannot be, tis a ruse >Aye, my lord as you say, he must be a hermit of most puissant art to remain so chaste and humble all his life, we dare not approach him carelessly
: Anonymous 35 KB JPG 09/08/21 (Wed)02:34:04 No.155984055 >Pray tell, who leads this inquisition? >Tis I, my Lor- >Not henceforth. 09/08/21 (Wed)02:44:21 No.155984471 : Anonymous >my liege, this man that we pursue, it seems he does naught but spend his days in idleness >He does no work? >no my lord >but how does he feed his wife and children? >he has none, sire >Is he not a man well into the summer of his life? >verily, my lord, but he lives as though still a child, we have on good account he hath never lain with a woman >You would have me believe this knave be the worst sort of simpleton, but nay, it cannot be, tis a ruse >Aye, my lord as you say, he must be a hermit of most puissant art to remain so chaste and humble all his life, we dare not approach him carelessly

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Anon gets hit by reality | /r/Greentext

1619345651251.jpg 157 KB JPG >OK i got the money from work and i can finally buy some vidoe games >Oh MAN I CANT WAIT to play some bing bing wahoo for 2 hours after work then go to sleep and wageslave again does it get better?
1619345651251.jpg 157 KB JPG >OK i got the money from work and i can finally buy some vidoe games >Oh MAN I CANT WAIT to play some bing bing wahoo for 2 hours after work then go to sleep and wageslave again does it get better?

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Anon opens reddit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 27/09/2023, 14:58:55 No.57061935 108 KB JPEG > be me > talks about giving b------ to a male nurse on /b/ - Random > some 9 year old post's it on r/greentext for some internet points > reads comments everyone calling me junkie > mfw
Anonymous 27/09/2023, 14:58:55 No.57061935 108 KB JPEG > be me > talks about giving b------ to a male nurse on /b/ - Random > some 9 year old post's it on r/greentext for some internet points > reads comments everyone calling me junkie > mfw

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Denser than a black hole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Realization 51 KB JPG 09/26/23(Tue)19:41:26 No.29835828 >be me >socially awkward virgin >a couple of yours ago, still at school >have a crush on my classmate, qt3.14 10/10 superb body, glasses, slighlty emo style >everyone in the class thinks I'm smart and funny, including her >she likes talking to me > "She is probably just nice to me." >always sits next to me when she can during the class >sometimes literally fights/races others to sit next to me >"Oh, I am helping her with study materials during the class, that's why she wants to sit next to me." >openly talks about her sexual needs with me >openly admits in front of the class that she thinks I am cute >I wear an old, loose t-shirt to school one day >she >"Hey anon, I like your pink t-shirt!" >me >"It's actually a red t-shirt, just faded." >walks away >ffwd few days >qt3.14 sitting next to me again >she is wearing tight yoga pants and a short top >"Anon, look." >she slightly spreads her legs and grabs on her thigh >"Anon, do you think I am thin enough." >"You look good." >she raises her top just under her boobs so I can see her whole belly >"You think so, anon?" >"Hm, actually, you are a bit too thin for my tastes." >continues writng in my note book >ffwd like two weeks >standing outside, waiting >staring into the distance >qt3.14 comes to me >"Hey anon, there's this EDM music festival I'm going to, would you like to come with me?" >"Nah, I don't like EDM, I don't want to go." >proceeds to stare into the distance again >ffwd roughly a week >talking about children's upbringing during the class >teacher asks for feedback >qt3.14's turn >she >"I don't really want to have kids, but if I ever considered having them, I'd have them with anon." >smiles at me so everyone can see >me >awkwardly smile and continue writing something down into my note book >ffwd now >realization >mfw Anons, is there still hope for me? Did I unknowingly performe the ultimate pussyblock? Does that make me a chad?
: Anonymous Realization 51 KB JPG 09/26/23(Tue)19:41:26 No.29835828 >be me >socially awkward virgin >a couple of yours ago, still at school >have a crush on my classmate, qt3.14 10/10 superb body, glasses, slighlty emo style >everyone in the class thinks I'm smart and funny, including her >she likes talking to me > "She is probably just nice to me." >always sits next to me when she can during the class >sometimes literally fights/races others to sit next to me >"Oh, I am helping her with study materials during the class, that's why she wants to sit next to me." >openly talks about her sexual needs with me >openly admits in front of the class that she thinks I am cute >I wear an old, loose t-shirt to school one day >she >"Hey anon, I like your pink t-shirt!" >me >"It's actually a red t-shirt, just faded." >walks away >ffwd few days >qt3.14 sitting next to me again >she is wearing tight yoga pants and a short top >"Anon, look." >she slightly spreads her legs and grabs on her thigh >"Anon, do you think I am thin enough." >"You look good." >she raises her top just under her boobs so I can see her whole belly >"You think so, anon?" >"Hm, actually, you are a bit too thin for my tastes." >continues writng in my note book >ffwd like two weeks >standing outside, waiting >staring into the distance >qt3.14 comes to me >"Hey anon, there's this EDM music festival I'm going to, would you like to come with me?" >"Nah, I don't like EDM, I don't want to go." >proceeds to stare into the distance again >ffwd roughly a week >talking about children's upbringing during the class >teacher asks for feedback >qt3.14's turn >she >"I don't really want to have kids, but if I ever considered having them, I'd have them with anon." >smiles at me so everyone can see >me >awkwardly smile and continue writing something down into my note book >ffwd now >realization >mfw Anons, is there still hope for me? Did I unknowingly performe the ultimate pussyblock? Does that make me a chad?

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Anon gets ghosted. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/27/23(Wed)01:41:20 No.74874777 27 KB JPG >be me >struggling mentally >feeling lonely and hopeless >worse than normal >decide to reach out to a friend for help >send a text asking if I can talk to her about something >12 days no reply >she's been online since >mental health rapidly decreases I hope she sees my text message soon
Anonymous 09/27/23(Wed)01:41:20 No.74874777 27 KB JPG >be me >struggling mentally >feeling lonely and hopeless >worse than normal >decide to reach out to a friend for help >send a text asking if I can talk to her about something >12 days no reply >she's been online since >mental health rapidly decreases I hope she sees my text message soon

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Craving Connection | /r/Greentext

21m (9/27 1:02) · 74869437 · 4 Re - 0 Img JPG 771KB (2048 × 2720) IMG_6133.jpg 3 Replies ●●● >post picture online or on discord or dating apps >literally thousands of men lining up to want to f--- >never approached or cat called outside no matter what i wear I'm confused am I ugly? I thought men were horny apes that cold approached and harassed women all the time? I'm kind of a cold and mean bitch is that why nobody talks to me?
21m (9/27 1:02) · 74869437 · 4 Re - 0 Img JPG 771KB (2048 × 2720) IMG_6133.jpg 3 Replies ●●● >post picture online or on discord or dating apps >literally thousands of men lining up to want to f--- >never approached or cat called outside no matter what i wear I'm confused am I ugly? I thought men were horny apes that cold approached and harassed women all the time? I'm kind of a cold and mean bitch is that why nobody talks to me?

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anons presentation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/27/23 (Wed)02:22:34 No.74872848 >>74872612 >Be me in school >Be semi turbo autism >Like history >Everyone knows I like history >Teacher gives a project to talk about 8 KB JPG the olympics >Tell us to pick one of the past olympics and talk about it >Idea >Discussed it with group that came to adopt me as their tism pet >They liked it >Day of presentation >1936 both summer and winter olympics of Nazi Germany >Chad from the group presents the intro >Turns to me and gives me a salute >Instinctively put my right hand over my belt buckled and give him a salute like OP's pic related >mfw I realized that I shouted "Heil!" a foot away from where the teacher seated
Anonymous 09/27/23 (Wed)02:22:34 No.74872848 >>74872612 >Be me in school >Be semi turbo autism >Like history >Everyone knows I like history >Teacher gives a project to talk about 8 KB JPG the olympics >Tell us to pick one of the past olympics and talk about it >Idea >Discussed it with group that came to adopt me as their tism pet >They liked it >Day of presentation >1936 both summer and winter olympics of Nazi Germany >Chad from the group presents the intro >Turns to me and gives me a salute >Instinctively put my right hand over my belt buckled and give him a salute like OP's pic related >mfw I realized that I shouted "Heil!" a foot away from where the teacher seated

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Beyond Stereotypes | /r/Greentext

1/2 ktanUhSK (OP) US 21m (9/27 9:43) · 18786343-3 Re - 1 Img JPG 68KB (755 × 777) · static-assets-upload7424185020453538734.jpg Why is most of genz so f------ retarded with tech? >be me rn >helping friend pirate RD1 for Yuzu >send him r/piracy approved site to download file >this mf doesn't have an adblocker >keeps getting redirected to articles and p--- sites and s--- >mfw >finally finds the link that has the download >can't download because of pop-ups covering download button >he sees a link that can be put inside the download manager that's from the site >"do I just press 'save link as' to download the file?" >mfw >finally gets adblocker and downloads the file >took like an hour >mfw ⠀
1/2 ktanUhSK (OP) US 21m (9/27 9:43) · 18786343-3 Re - 1 Img JPG 68KB (755 × 777) · static-assets-upload7424185020453538734.jpg Why is most of genz so f------ retarded with tech? >be me rn >helping friend pirate RD1 for Yuzu >send him r/piracy approved site to download file >this mf doesn't have an adblocker >keeps getting redirected to articles and p--- sites and s--- >mfw >finally finds the link that has the download >can't download because of pop-ups covering download button >he sees a link that can be put inside the download manager that's from the site >"do I just press 'save link as' to download the file?" >mfw >finally gets adblocker and downloads the file >took like an hour >mfw ⠀

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Anon drinks from the Holy Grail | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 19.999.00 34 KB JPG 01/24/22(Mon)01:07:30 No.67120343 >get covid >getting worse over 2 week period >come to terms with my death >decide to crack open my gamer girl pee and take a sip, because why not >sense of smell and taste come back within minutes >gulp down the whole bottle >feel super tired, fall asleep >wake up, 100% cured holy heck
Anonymous 19.999.00 34 KB JPG 01/24/22(Mon)01:07:30 No.67120343 >get covid >getting worse over 2 week period >come to terms with my death >decide to crack open my gamer girl pee and take a sip, because why not >sense of smell and taste come back within minutes >gulp down the whole bottle >feel super tired, fall asleep >wake up, 100% cured holy heck

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Anon goes through a phase | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)18:26:22 No.47414971 1524085735334.jpg 122 KB JPG >tfw had a general grievous phase when i was younger >would wrap a blanket around my shoulders like a cape while walking around hunched over coughing and doing the voice i-i wasn't the only one right?
Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)18:26:22 No.47414971 1524085735334.jpg 122 KB JPG >tfw had a general grievous phase when i was younger >would wrap a blanket around my shoulders like a cape while walking around hunched over coughing and doing the voice i-i wasn't the only one right?

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Uncle sham | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 67 KB JPG 07/04/23(Tue)10:15:51 No.73902357 >7 year old cousin is coming over to stay with me for a few says >excited to be with him because am good with kids >remember that I was obsessed with medieval history at age 7 >excited to see what his biggest interest is >excited to be an uncle figure to him >he comes over >he's f------ retarded and can barely count to ten >he doesn't even know how to read Man
: Anonymous 67 KB JPG 07/04/23(Tue)10:15:51 No.73902357 >7 year old cousin is coming over to stay with me for a few says >excited to be with him because am good with kids >remember that I was obsessed with medieval history at age 7 >excited to see what his biggest interest is >excited to be an uncle figure to him >he comes over >he's f------ retarded and can barely count to ten >he doesn't even know how to read Man

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Life's Second Act | /r/Greentext

30m (9/26 21:20)-906699803-0 Re - 0 Img JPG 48KB (627 × 671) · 1653650916888.jpg >looking at cam girl website >sees bunch of hot girls in their 20s >looks at girls in their 30s >some still hot but way less hot in general It is honestly scary how quick people age and become used up and uglier. 10 f------ years is all it took. How does one cope with aging?
30m (9/26 21:20)-906699803-0 Re - 0 Img JPG 48KB (627 × 671) · 1653650916888.jpg >looking at cam girl website >sees bunch of hot girls in their 20s >looks at girls in their 30s >some still hot but way less hot in general It is honestly scary how quick people age and become used up and uglier. 10 f------ years is all it took. How does one cope with aging?

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Out of Hands | /r/Greentext

54m (9/27 0:30) 74869199- 20 Re. 1 Img PNG 92KB (640 × 510) · jvnDpmaqO-r51U5j2XgwhblfExiQE36a6iMNA9oblQs.png 4 Replies ms ; It's so over >new school year starts >meet qt AFAB enby >they're autistic and I'm ADHD, we're a dynamic duo >we hang out >Go to rave with them and a couple of others >Do MDMA together >Cuddle cuz MDMA breaks down boundaries >they say they're probably on the aroace spectrum I finally find someone who I know I could really fall for and it turns out that they might not even have the capacity to reciprocate. It's so over for me bros.
54m (9/27 0:30) 74869199- 20 Re. 1 Img PNG 92KB (640 × 510) · jvnDpmaqO-r51U5j2XgwhblfExiQE36a6iMNA9oblQs.png 4 Replies ms ; It's so over >new school year starts >meet qt AFAB enby >they're autistic and I'm ADHD, we're a dynamic duo >we hang out >Go to rave with them and a couple of others >Do MDMA together >Cuddle cuz MDMA breaks down boundaries >they say they're probably on the aroace spectrum I finally find someone who I know I could really fall for and it turns out that they might not even have the capacity to reciprocate. It's so over for me bros.

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Bullet Dodged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 47 KB JPG 09/26/23(Tue)09:25:04 No.74866949 >Best friends little sister likes me and gives me attention all the time >She keeps getting closer and does s--- like asking me out >Start liking her too >Talk to my friend about it >He tells me that shes retarded and I should just stay away from her >Accept it and keep my distance >Feelings get stronger and I start wanting to ask her out really bad >Talk to friend again >We have a 2 hour talk where he tells that shes a massive hoe and he wouldnt have an issue with me dating her if she was normal >First time I liked a girl and she liked me back >Now whenever she gives me attention I feel disgusted >Feelings for her instantly died when he told me the stories about her F--- my s--- up
: Anonymous 47 KB JPG 09/26/23(Tue)09:25:04 No.74866949 >Best friends little sister likes me and gives me attention all the time >She keeps getting closer and does s--- like asking me out >Start liking her too >Talk to my friend about it >He tells me that shes retarded and I should just stay away from her >Accept it and keep my distance >Feelings get stronger and I start wanting to ask her out really bad >Talk to friend again >We have a 2 hour talk where he tells that shes a massive hoe and he wouldnt have an issue with me dating her if she was normal >First time I liked a girl and she liked me back >Now whenever she gives me attention I feel disgusted >Feelings for her instantly died when he told me the stories about her F--- my s--- up

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Anon has a text fuck up story | /r/Greentext

Got any text f--- up stories 89 KB JPG 12/02/21(Thu)13:27:01 No.66394174 I'll start >be me, German >birthday was today >my grandparents sent me some gifts (the live very far) >thank them via text while eating chocolate with left hand >swipe typing so it's not that accurate >somehow phone manages to autocorrect Geschenke(gifts) to F------ >I send it before realizing my mistake >they read it instantly >grandpa is amazing at English, grandma goes to LGBT rights protests and s--- like that
Got any text f--- up stories 89 KB JPG 12/02/21(Thu)13:27:01 No.66394174 I'll start >be me, German >birthday was today >my grandparents sent me some gifts (the live very far) >thank them via text while eating chocolate with left hand >swipe typing so it's not that accurate >somehow phone manages to autocorrect Geschenke(gifts) to F------ >I send it before realizing my mistake >they read it instantly >grandpa is amazing at English, grandma goes to LGBT rights protests and s--- like that

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