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Reichsbank | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/08/24(Mon) 18:43:10 No.2752502 IMG_0802.jpg 2.33 MB JPG >set out a trap >dont even bait it with food >catch not one but two of these c---- explain
Anonymous 07/08/24(Mon) 18:43:10 No.2752502 IMG_0802.jpg 2.33 MB JPG >set out a trap >dont even bait it with food >catch not one but two of these c---- explain

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Wild sexual awakening | /r/Greentext

File: eos.jpg (4 KB, 225x225) >Ohfuck.png >Won't come out >Try with my fingers, can't get a grip >Try to push it out, won't budge >Am alone at house so freak >Text mom >She responds only with *sigh* Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)20:08:18 No.925755616 ► Any down bad horny stories? I'll go first >Be me >Be 16 >Be f-- >Like it up the butt >Used toys before but want to be freakier >See EOS lip balm in storage box >Idea.jpeg >Think it will feel like a--- beads >Lube it up and start the insertion >Feels good man at first >Get it halfway in >Suddenly ass makes a shlorping noise and sucks it in >Read online that a warm bath helps relax muscles >Soak for two hours, no movement >Start fearing the worst >Overwhelmed but decide to try and go to bed >Somehow able to fall asleep >Wake up at 4am >Need to s---, bad >Tired and forgot situation >Sleepily run to toilet >Hereitcomes.exe >Take the biggest s--- of my life >Look down >Pic rel >Remember predicament I was in >Remember shame >At least it's over >Don't talk to mom for several days >She's never looked at me the same No matter what you think, s--- will get stuck up there. Don't do it b, it's not worth it
File: eos.jpg (4 KB, 225x225) >Ohfuck.png >Won't come out >Try with my fingers, can't get a grip >Try to push it out, won't budge >Am alone at house so freak >Text mom >She responds only with *sigh* Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)20:08:18 No.925755616 ► Any down bad horny stories? I'll go first >Be me >Be 16 >Be f-- >Like it up the butt >Used toys before but want to be freakier >See EOS lip balm in storage box >Idea.jpeg >Think it will feel like a--- beads >Lube it up and start the insertion >Feels good man at first >Get it halfway in >Suddenly ass makes a shlorping noise and sucks it in >Read online that a warm bath helps relax muscles >Soak for two hours, no movement >Start fearing the worst >Overwhelmed but decide to try and go to bed >Somehow able to fall asleep >Wake up at 4am >Need to s---, bad >Tired and forgot situation >Sleepily run to toilet >Hereitcomes.exe >Take the biggest s--- of my life >Look down >Pic rel >Remember predicament I was in >Remember shame >At least it's over >Don't talk to mom for several days >She's never looked at me the same No matter what you think, s--- will get stuck up there. Don't do it b, it's not worth it

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Anon got Jumped | /r/Greentext

Anonymous f------ 10/10/24(Thu)19:16:59 No.79084646 239 KB JPG >be hood dude >live with your mom in a low- income suburb >wake up excited to meet with gang >put on your reddest jacket and your saggiest pants, feel thankful you had the money to buy Ethika graphic underwear instead of sharing a pair with your homies >make sure your ass cheek fat slightly hangs over the trim of your jeans >meet up at random sidewalk, take pictures together with the group glock (badass!!!) >discuss making colorful music about people you dislike, in hopes they respond >see your opps drive down the road in their group 2001 Nissan Altima >'nows my time to shine! I'm so excited!' >fire 7 times in their vague direction (you never practiced at the range) >break your wrist from the recoil and miss every shot >become victim of police brutality and go to prison for 2 years >get anally r---- daily by other men don't mess with gangs bro don't go on that side of town bro gangs arent to be messed with bro
Anonymous f------ 10/10/24(Thu)19:16:59 No.79084646 239 KB JPG >be hood dude >live with your mom in a low- income suburb >wake up excited to meet with gang >put on your reddest jacket and your saggiest pants, feel thankful you had the money to buy Ethika graphic underwear instead of sharing a pair with your homies >make sure your ass cheek fat slightly hangs over the trim of your jeans >meet up at random sidewalk, take pictures together with the group glock (badass!!!) >discuss making colorful music about people you dislike, in hopes they respond >see your opps drive down the road in their group 2001 Nissan Altima >'nows my time to shine! I'm so excited!' >fire 7 times in their vague direction (you never practiced at the range) >break your wrist from the recoil and miss every shot >become victim of police brutality and go to prison for 2 years >get anally r---- daily by other men don't mess with gangs bro don't go on that side of town bro gangs arent to be messed with bro

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Head on the ground and my thoughts on the ceiling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous THINK I'M GOING TO CRY. 240 KB JPG 10/10/24(Thu)20:15:44 No.203260960 >go to a Lab from the final year >go there early to find the place >everyone thinks I'm a Post-Grad student and asks me for directions >am actually a 27 YO who's being kicked out >paired with a 9/10 blue-eyed blonde, another guy and a gal >was harder than I had heard, even though the professors were lenient >hadn't practised those theories in 7 years; couldn't put the theory into practise >kept fumbling the experiments the entire time >my eyes started tweaking like a retard's because I've got ticks >people took notice because I couldn't hide it and would make fun of me >all of them knew each other; nobody even asked my name >ended the class wanting to drop it, but it's hard to find something at a last moment's notice to try and reach the quota >kept mumbling to myself on the way home, talking to myself in the bus, the road, the supermarket >finally reached my room whereupon I started punching myself in the face and whipping my balls with my belt to deal with how much of a subhuman I am How's the Uni experience in your c---?
Anonymous THINK I'M GOING TO CRY. 240 KB JPG 10/10/24(Thu)20:15:44 No.203260960 >go to a Lab from the final year >go there early to find the place >everyone thinks I'm a Post-Grad student and asks me for directions >am actually a 27 YO who's being kicked out >paired with a 9/10 blue-eyed blonde, another guy and a gal >was harder than I had heard, even though the professors were lenient >hadn't practised those theories in 7 years; couldn't put the theory into practise >kept fumbling the experiments the entire time >my eyes started tweaking like a retard's because I've got ticks >people took notice because I couldn't hide it and would make fun of me >all of them knew each other; nobody even asked my name >ended the class wanting to drop it, but it's hard to find something at a last moment's notice to try and reach the quota >kept mumbling to myself on the way home, talking to myself in the bus, the road, the supermarket >finally reached my room whereupon I started punching myself in the face and whipping my balls with my belt to deal with how much of a subhuman I am How's the Uni experience in your c---?

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Anon is going to take you back to the past | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/08/24(Tue)17:15:53 No.102733067 *helps you live in the moment* *fixes your attention span* *saves you money on data* 346 KB PNG : Anonymous 10/08/24(Tue)17:17:29 No.102733084 >>102733067 (OP) # >takes you an hour to type out the op using T9 >>102733159 # >>102734364 # >>102734469 # >>102735144 # >>102735931 Anonymous 10/08/24(Tue)19:34:48 No.102735144 >>102733084 # skill issue im faster on t9 than any shitscreen keyboard 08 # lo.102733092
Anonymous 10/08/24(Tue)17:15:53 No.102733067 *helps you live in the moment* *fixes your attention span* *saves you money on data* 346 KB PNG : Anonymous 10/08/24(Tue)17:17:29 No.102733084 >>102733067 (OP) # >takes you an hour to type out the op using T9 >>102733159 # >>102734364 # >>102734469 # >>102735144 # >>102735931 Anonymous 10/08/24(Tue)19:34:48 No.102735144 >>102733084 # skill issue im faster on t9 than any shitscreen keyboard 08 # lo.102733092

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Anon loves futurama | /r/Greentext

24 KB GIF I used to have 50,000 posts on a f------ really weird, small, Futurama forum. There were only about 50 posters on the entire board. For some reason I literally roleplayed as Kif (the frog who was a slave to Zapp Brannigan) in every single f------ post. I remember that the other posters would say things like 'post your penis again for me Kif with a picture of Zapp and I would do it (after using photoshop to make my d--- green). I was basically a f------ sx slave for 50,000 posts. I remember on one occasion a girl came onto the board and I really liked her, but instead of talking to her like a normal human I tried to pick her up by writing an extensive, 1200 word post describing the backrub I gave to Zapp Brannigan. I hate that part of my life almost as bad as this current one.
24 KB GIF I used to have 50,000 posts on a f------ really weird, small, Futurama forum. There were only about 50 posters on the entire board. For some reason I literally roleplayed as Kif (the frog who was a slave to Zapp Brannigan) in every single f------ post. I remember that the other posters would say things like 'post your penis again for me Kif with a picture of Zapp and I would do it (after using photoshop to make my d--- green). I was basically a f------ sx slave for 50,000 posts. I remember on one occasion a girl came onto the board and I really liked her, but instead of talking to her like a normal human I tried to pick her up by writing an extensive, 1200 word post describing the backrub I gave to Zapp Brannigan. I hate that part of my life almost as bad as this current one.

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Circle with me | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)14:26:41 No.102760650 >the year is 2035 >robo girlfriends are a thing >but somehow it is easier to have sex with real women due to censorship 501 KB JPG
Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)14:26:41 No.102760650 >the year is 2035 >robo girlfriends are a thing >but somehow it is easier to have sex with real women due to censorship 501 KB JPG

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Anon buys Nintendo’s Alarmo Clock ⏰ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)04:58:28 No.691423270 9:23 alarmo.jpg 159 KB JPG >TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK >BINGBINGBINGWAHOOWAHOOBINGWAHOOBIN GBINGBINGHEREWEGOO0000BINGBINGBING >Please..Alarmo. Five more minutes. >NO-A-WAY! YOU MUSTA WAKE UP TO SLAVE FOR MISTER GOLDSTEIN! >Alarmo... I feel sick. I can't keep waging like this >BINGBINGBINGWAHOOWAHOOBINGBINGBING BINGYIPPEEE >I think I should quit my job, Alarmo.. >HOW-A YOU AFFORD-A THE SWITCH 2, THEN? >I don't know, Alarmo.. >BINGBINGBING WAHOOWAHOOBINGWAHOOBINGBINGHEREWE >Alarmo. I'm getting up. Just two more minutes, okay? >DO THE-A CHANT! >No. >DO THE CHANT! >I-It's a Super Mario Day.. We live our Super Mario Way.. To buy products every-Super-Mario-day.. >SAY THE LAST LINE LIKE YOU MEAN IT, DO IT! >F-F--- Palworld.. >BINGBINGBINGWAHOOWAHOOBINGBINGBING BINGWAHOOWAHOO
Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)04:58:28 No.691423270 9:23 alarmo.jpg 159 KB JPG >TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK >BINGBINGBINGWAHOOWAHOOBINGWAHOOBIN GBINGBINGHEREWEGOO0000BINGBINGBING >Please..Alarmo. Five more minutes. >NO-A-WAY! YOU MUSTA WAKE UP TO SLAVE FOR MISTER GOLDSTEIN! >Alarmo... I feel sick. I can't keep waging like this >BINGBINGBINGWAHOOWAHOOBINGBINGBING BINGYIPPEEE >I think I should quit my job, Alarmo.. >HOW-A YOU AFFORD-A THE SWITCH 2, THEN? >I don't know, Alarmo.. >BINGBINGBING WAHOOWAHOOBINGWAHOOBINGBINGHEREWE >Alarmo. I'm getting up. Just two more minutes, okay? >DO THE-A CHANT! >No. >DO THE CHANT! >I-It's a Super Mario Day.. We live our Super Mario Way.. To buy products every-Super-Mario-day.. >SAY THE LAST LINE LIKE YOU MEAN IT, DO IT! >F-F--- Palworld.. >BINGBINGBINGWAHOOWAHOOBINGBINGBING BINGWAHOOWAHOO

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Future diary | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 288 KB JPG 10/10/24(Thu)17:57:11 No.102762458 >ruined internet >ruined dating >ruined socializing >ruined attention span >ruined photography and other digital content >ruined customer service (install the app to do a thing) >ruined electronics with "smart" shovelware >ruined UI design and software >ruined tourism and live events >ruined entertainment (games, music, cinema) Is there anything good about smartphones at all?
Anonymous 288 KB JPG 10/10/24(Thu)17:57:11 No.102762458 >ruined internet >ruined dating >ruined socializing >ruined attention span >ruined photography and other digital content >ruined customer service (install the app to do a thing) >ruined electronics with "smart" shovelware >ruined UI design and software >ruined tourism and live events >ruined entertainment (games, music, cinema) Is there anything good about smartphones at all?

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What did they mean by this? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/02/24(Wed)19:57:21 No.204077325 A_Good_Guy.png 332 KB PNG >Lets a bunch of immigrants into his country >It gets ruined What message were they going for here?
: Anonymous 10/02/24(Wed)19:57:21 No.204077325 A_Good_Guy.png 332 KB PNG >Lets a bunch of immigrants into his country >It gets ruined What message were they going for here?

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A match made in heaven | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous H 18 KB JPG 10/10/24(Thu)15:45:51 No.79079568 >get a match >cute girl who's into dudes like me >usually have trouble coming up with things to talk about >decide for once to put in the effort to keep the conversation going >come up with topics >ask her things >give her a few compliments >get the driest one note responses possible and doesn't even ask anything back >have to actively keep sending messages to stop the conversation from dying >give up and unmatch This isn't even the first time it's happened. Why are most women unable to keep a conversation going? Why even match if you're not going to put in the effort?
: Anonymous H 18 KB JPG 10/10/24(Thu)15:45:51 No.79079568 >get a match >cute girl who's into dudes like me >usually have trouble coming up with things to talk about >decide for once to put in the effort to keep the conversation going >come up with topics >ask her things >give her a few compliments >get the driest one note responses possible and doesn't even ask anything back >have to actively keep sending messages to stop the conversation from dying >give up and unmatch This isn't even the first time it's happened. Why are most women unable to keep a conversation going? Why even match if you're not going to put in the effort?

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Bottom of the usual | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 KB JPG 10/10/24(Thu)17:10:36 No.79080147 >wear nothing but my underwear >do nothing but sit in chair >breathe in >subtle smell like poopy >check undies >no poopy smear How do I resolve this?
Anonymous 11 KB JPG 10/10/24(Thu)17:10:36 No.79080147 >wear nothing but my underwear >do nothing but sit in chair >breathe in >subtle smell like poopy >check undies >no poopy smear How do I resolve this?

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Anon critiques the plan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Xr0gpvDT) 08/01/24(Thu)14:43:04 No.476485974 VICE PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS LIVE ON TODAY MT. DORA HIGH 80° LOW 52° M dig TODAY SUNNY 7:13 55 9DF5CF46-1BE5-4BF4-A9E5-A9DE6D64E874.jpg 266 KB JPG >never does any thing >can't attack her on her track record Genius!
Anonymous (ID: Xr0gpvDT) 08/01/24(Thu)14:43:04 No.476485974 VICE PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS LIVE ON TODAY MT. DORA HIGH 80° LOW 52° M dig TODAY SUNNY 7:13 55 9DF5CF46-1BE5-4BF4-A9E5-A9DE6D64E874.jpg 266 KB JPG >never does any thing >can't attack her on her track record Genius!

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Anon roleplays Kif | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/16 lived) 19.45.50 10.27049041 24 KB GIF I used to have 50,000 posts on a f------ really weird, small, Futurama forum. There were only about 50 posters on the entire board. For some reason I literally roleplayed as Kif (the frog who was a slave to Zapp Brannigan) in every single f------ post. I remember that the other posters would say things like 'post your penis again for me Kif with a picture of Zapp and I would do it (after using photoshop to make my d--- green). I was basically a f------ sx slave for 50,000 posts. I remember on one occasion a girl came onto the board and I really liked her, but instead of talking to her like a normal human I tried to pick her up by writing an extensive, 1200 word post describing the backrub I gave to Zapp Brannigan. I hate that part of my life almost as bad as this current one. YOU KNOW FULL WELL I'M MORE CLOSELY RELATED TO THE SEA CUCUMBER
: Anonymous 04/13/16 lived) 19.45.50 10.27049041 24 KB GIF I used to have 50,000 posts on a f------ really weird, small, Futurama forum. There were only about 50 posters on the entire board. For some reason I literally roleplayed as Kif (the frog who was a slave to Zapp Brannigan) in every single f------ post. I remember that the other posters would say things like 'post your penis again for me Kif with a picture of Zapp and I would do it (after using photoshop to make my d--- green). I was basically a f------ sx slave for 50,000 posts. I remember on one occasion a girl came onto the board and I really liked her, but instead of talking to her like a normal human I tried to pick her up by writing an extensive, 1200 word post describing the backrub I gave to Zapp Brannigan. I hate that part of my life almost as bad as this current one. YOU KNOW FULL WELL I'M MORE CLOSELY RELATED TO THE SEA CUCUMBER

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Anon likes BG3 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous GOTY is not a surprise 10/09/24(Wed)22:31:24 No.497791454 >not based on an overused formula >doesn't assume gamers are braindead & listens to their feedback Baldur's Gate 235 KB JPG >becomes an outstanding success lifting a rather niche genre up to mainstream It's not that hard, dear game publishers.
: Anonymous GOTY is not a surprise 10/09/24(Wed)22:31:24 No.497791454 >not based on an overused formula >doesn't assume gamers are braindead & listens to their feedback Baldur's Gate 235 KB JPG >becomes an outstanding success lifting a rather niche genre up to mainstream It's not that hard, dear game publishers.

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Anon blew his fucking chance lmao | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 16 KB JPG >it started slow 10/10/24(Thu)17:14:40 No.79078599 >19 y.o virgin NEET >3 months ago >met up with my female HS friend >shes way f------ hotter than she used to be >urges start growing >i need to f--- her, ASAP >went on a few dates >shes actually into me >first kisses, first hugs, everything first with her >1 month ago >build enough courage to invite her over >she actually agrees >its happening F--- its happening F--- >we are watching a s----- slasher movie from 90's >build enough confidence to invite her into my room >she follows >i remind you my mind is absolute f------ asylum at that point >i told her to get on her knees >i drop my shorts off >my d--- is soft as f--- due to anxiety and excitement >shes literally blowing me off but im f------ soft >max half-hard >i couldn't c-- >she makes fun of me about how limp and soft was for the whole month it's over. 6 Replies 1 Image my d--- View Thread
Anonymous 16 KB JPG >it started slow 10/10/24(Thu)17:14:40 No.79078599 >19 y.o virgin NEET >3 months ago >met up with my female HS friend >shes way f------ hotter than she used to be >urges start growing >i need to f--- her, ASAP >went on a few dates >shes actually into me >first kisses, first hugs, everything first with her >1 month ago >build enough courage to invite her over >she actually agrees >its happening F--- its happening F--- >we are watching a s----- slasher movie from 90's >build enough confidence to invite her into my room >she follows >i remind you my mind is absolute f------ asylum at that point >i told her to get on her knees >i drop my shorts off >my d--- is soft as f--- due to anxiety and excitement >shes literally blowing me off but im f------ soft >max half-hard >i couldn't c-- >she makes fun of me about how limp and soft was for the whole month it's over. 6 Replies 1 Image my d--- View Thread

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Good work Anon, Less fries more salt! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 17 KB JPG 04/30/22(Sat)08:11:57 No.877240939 >working at McDonald's >kid with his mom brings in orange and green toy gun >joke around with him "Oh are you a soilder?" >kid looks up at me >points toy at me "I'll kill you ugly man" >kids are absolute f------ assholes >salt the s--- of his fries and hamburger >enjoy that you little prick
Anonymous 17 KB JPG 04/30/22(Sat)08:11:57 No.877240939 >working at McDonald's >kid with his mom brings in orange and green toy gun >joke around with him "Oh are you a soilder?" >kid looks up at me >points toy at me "I'll kill you ugly man" >kids are absolute f------ assholes >salt the s--- of his fries and hamburger >enjoy that you little prick

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As I fade away | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 177 KB PNG 10/10/24(Thu)08:47:15 No.79077490 >Tfw I've browsed 4chan for 15 years now >Every moment i get a chance, I'm on Achan >Yeah I've had a few weekends where I didn't browse but for the majority of the time, it's 4chan >If i had of put the effort into commenting and posting on other social medias, I would be somewhat known by now >Could have even started some kind of relationship maybe >Instead i chose to spend my time here being anonymous >Now this website is dying and my time here will mean nothing
Anonymous 177 KB PNG 10/10/24(Thu)08:47:15 No.79077490 >Tfw I've browsed 4chan for 15 years now >Every moment i get a chance, I'm on Achan >Yeah I've had a few weekends where I didn't browse but for the majority of the time, it's 4chan >If i had of put the effort into commenting and posting on other social medias, I would be somewhat known by now >Could have even started some kind of relationship maybe >Instead i chose to spend my time here being anonymous >Now this website is dying and my time here will mean nothing

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Whispers tube | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)06:04:13 No.79076311 >be me >start making YouTube videos a year You Tube ago 224 KB JPG ASMR video >gets 500k views >rarely get any views >sometimes get views in the hundreds >check my front page >random bitch uploads her first F--- JewTube and f--- women in particular. F--- simps and f--- you for enabling these women to make careers solely based on a pretty face.
Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)06:04:13 No.79076311 >be me >start making YouTube videos a year You Tube ago 224 KB JPG ASMR video >gets 500k views >rarely get any views >sometimes get views in the hundreds >check my front page >random bitch uploads her first F--- JewTube and f--- women in particular. F--- simps and f--- you for enabling these women to make careers solely based on a pretty face.

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Arriving somewhere but not here | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 36 KB JPG questions before 10/10/24(Thu)07:52:38 No.79077126 >take a psych evaluation for work >a woman starts making me questions >"are you happy?" >"do you feel loved?" >"do you have a partner, friends, family?" >realize I've never been asked such >give short answers, while feeling completely overwhelmed on the inside >get home >sit on the couch >tfw I've been a meat automaton my entire life
: Anonymous 36 KB JPG questions before 10/10/24(Thu)07:52:38 No.79077126 >take a psych evaluation for work >a woman starts making me questions >"are you happy?" >"do you feel loved?" >"do you have a partner, friends, family?" >realize I've never been asked such >give short answers, while feeling completely overwhelmed on the inside >get home >sit on the couch >tfw I've been a meat automaton my entire life

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