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File: 136424211338Zipg-(18 KB, 366x380, 1334329164853.jpg) Anonymous (ID: jiv6cyvu) 03/25/13(Mon)16:08:33 UTC-4 No.467771860 Replies: 22487772247467772308 2487772387 487772515487772803 48777382487773909 How f------ f----- am I, Ibl be me about an hour ago >present our new e-commerce web front end to senior management team >start doing a quick run-through of the new, simplified process of creating an account on a huge projector. >account creation page has a recaptcha implementation get to the recaptcha portion of the form and without even thinking I type: sniggers firoyth sclick "Ok nobody says anything 35 people just stare at me >one lady just has her mouth open, completely f------ mindfucked 7- what are-you doing continue on like nothing happened just got a call from my manager... he wants to talk first thing in the morning Easily the biggest derp in my life. I'm sure it will cost me my job Ive been reniggering recaptcha since it was implimented on /b/ and was one of thos e f--- petiti oning for captcha in order to get rid of spam cancer. Ive reniggered hundreds and hundreds of recaptchas and it is just like muscle memory for me at this point. what goes around comes around, I guess. >pic so f------ related
File: 136424211338Zipg-(18 KB, 366x380, 1334329164853.jpg) Anonymous (ID: jiv6cyvu) 03/25/13(Mon)16:08:33 UTC-4 No.467771860 Replies: 22487772247467772308 2487772387 487772515487772803 48777382487773909 How f------ f----- am I, Ibl be me about an hour ago >present our new e-commerce web front end to senior management team >start doing a quick run-through of the new, simplified process of creating an account on a huge projector. >account creation page has a recaptcha implementation get to the recaptcha portion of the form and without even thinking I type: sniggers firoyth sclick "Ok nobody says anything 35 people just stare at me >one lady just has her mouth open, completely f------ mindfucked 7- what are-you doing continue on like nothing happened just got a call from my manager... he wants to talk first thing in the morning Easily the biggest derp in my life. I'm sure it will cost me my job Ive been reniggering recaptcha since it was implimented on /b/ and was one of thos e f--- petiti oning for captcha in order to get rid of spam cancer. Ive reniggered hundreds and hundreds of recaptchas and it is just like muscle memory for me at this point. what goes around comes around, I guess. >pic so f------ related

Greentext Stories
4chan recaptcha

Cheesy situations

Anonymous 08/30/12(Thu)07:13 No.14424036 File: 1346325217263.ipg-(51 KB, 396x385, 131951335186.jpg) friends set me up with a chick for one night stand on sort of a blind date thing >she comes to my house recognize her, seen her in some of my classes but never really talked to her swe hit it off >we're both sitting on my couch, laughing and having a good time swe start inching closer and getting a little physical >I'm eating cheetos with one hand and have my arm around her with the other sout of nowhere, she grabs my cheeto hand and shoves it down the front of her pants still have a cheeto clenched in my hand, but she doesnt notice because she has her eyes closed and she's looking in the air >just work your magic anon, I've never been with a guy before >Ive never even touched a woman before this point but I don't say anything >I start rubbing her clit with my finger like fit said to do >she moans, she says she wants to remember this night forever >"put a finger in there too, anon, I think I love you already smy brain has entirely become spaghetti take the cheeto that was in my hand and slowly start to move it into her vagina to use as a dildo >she beings moaning but then stops mid moan and looks at me >she pulls my hand out of her ants and sees the cheeto just lying there in her panties >she screams "OH MY GOD WHAT THE F---?! YOUR FRIENDS WERE RIGHT! YOU ARE A WEIRD ONE! >l feel like Ive transcended into an ethereal realm of awkwardness >I mutter "I'm d-daaangerously cheesy!" >she says "UGH and runs out my front door >she never tells anyone because she's so embarrassed >l never date again >friends forever mock me...

Greentext Stories
cheese fit tfw no gf

Shrek

ile: 1358148753159.ipg-(105 KB, 300x300, 300.shrek.forever.lr.121809.jpg) Anonymous (ID: CBcH+zLI) 01/14/13 (Mon)02:32:33 No.450921803 Replies: 24509 >I was only 9 years old > I loved shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies > I pray to shrek every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given > "Shrek is love" say. "Shrek is life" > My dad hears me and he calls me a f----- > I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Shrek > I called him a c--- > He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep Im crying now, and my face hurts > I lay in bed and its really cold >A warmth i > I feel something touch me > Its shrek > I am so happy > He whispers in to ear, "this is my swamp > He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on my hands and knees s moving towards me > I'm ready > I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek > He penetrates my butthole > It hurts so much but I do it for Shrek > I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water > I push against his force I want to please Shrek > He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love > My dad walks in > Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says. "Its all ogre now" > Shrek leaves through my window > Shrek is love, Shrek is life Anonymous (ID: fBWBqNjg) 01/14/13(Mon)02:33:51 No.450922048 what the f---
ile: 1358148753159.ipg-(105 KB, 300x300, 300.shrek.forever.lr.121809.jpg) Anonymous (ID: CBcH+zLI) 01/14/13 (Mon)02:32:33 No.450921803 Replies: 24509 >I was only 9 years old > I loved shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies > I pray to shrek every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given > "Shrek is love" say. "Shrek is life" > My dad hears me and he calls me a f----- > I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Shrek > I called him a c--- > He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep Im crying now, and my face hurts > I lay in bed and its really cold >A warmth i > I feel something touch me > Its shrek > I am so happy > He whispers in to ear, "this is my swamp > He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on my hands and knees s moving towards me > I'm ready > I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek > He penetrates my butthole > It hurts so much but I do it for Shrek > I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water > I push against his force I want to please Shrek > He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love > My dad walks in > Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says. "Its all ogre now" > Shrek leaves through my window > Shrek is love, Shrek is life Anonymous (ID: fBWBqNjg) 01/14/13(Mon)02:33:51 No.450922048 what the f---

Greentext Stories
green text stories shrek is love shrek is life

11 year old

□ childhood greentext stories Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:40:30 No.288495 >11 years old >twin brother dies >parents don't let me go to his funeral or tell me where it is stells me it would be inappropriate to be there as it could confuse people □ Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:41:15 No.2884950X 0 10/10 Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:46:00 No.288496xXx my mom died once □ Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:47:16 No.288497XXX File1290217636 jpg-(74 KB, 720x540) >go to ymca Sfamily showers >see naked 4 year old grow up to be a p--------
□ childhood greentext stories Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:40:30 No.288495 >11 years old >twin brother dies >parents don't let me go to his funeral or tell me where it is stells me it would be inappropriate to be there as it could confuse people □ Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:41:15 No.2884950X 0 10/10 Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:46:00 No.288496xXx my mom died once □ Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:47:16 No.288497XXX File1290217636 jpg-(74 KB, 720x540) >go to ymca Sfamily showers >see naked 4 year old grow up to be a p--------

Greentext Stories
4chan death twins greentext showers funeral ymca

Awkward Girl Stories: Wheelchair Girl

/b/-Random How to Take a Screenshot i ← → C O boards·4chan.org/b/res/335695449 Click for JList! Anime Figures Oppai Mousepads TENGA Male Toys TH File 1308618284 ipg-(33 KB, 319x239, 1308034939787.jpg) Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:04:44 No.335695449 Awkward girl Stories are a go lm 15 n bible camp >Girl in a wheelchair, who is actually f------ hot as f---, is sitting in her chair next to the the sports field >l go up to her and ask if she's ok >She says yeah, but obviously she's a bit bored to being able to play ABACUST get a tennis ball and we throw it back and forth >Later on she texts me from her lodgings (girls and boys in separate areas) asking ifI wanna meet at sunset >Meet the chick, she's folded her chair and is sitting on a blanket so she doesnt seem brokern >2 hours later we're kissing, I tear her clothes off and undress, and f--- her >It's really hard to control her legs while im on my knees thrusting, as they are flopping about in my one free hand >Camp leaders come close, I say "F---, run" and run away later realize she was disabled and she was lying there naked when the bible leaders came round Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:05:37 No.335695616 Well s---. HAHAHAHA sS Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:06:13 No.335695718 win 2 Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:07:07 No.335695888
/b/-Random How to Take a Screenshot i ← → C O boards·4chan.org/b/res/335695449 Click for JList! Anime Figures Oppai Mousepads TENGA Male Toys TH File 1308618284 ipg-(33 KB, 319x239, 1308034939787.jpg) Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:04:44 No.335695449 Awkward girl Stories are a go lm 15 n bible camp >Girl in a wheelchair, who is actually f------ hot as f---, is sitting in her chair next to the the sports field >l go up to her and ask if she's ok >She says yeah, but obviously she's a bit bored to being able to play ABACUST get a tennis ball and we throw it back and forth >Later on she texts me from her lodgings (girls and boys in separate areas) asking ifI wanna meet at sunset >Meet the chick, she's folded her chair and is sitting on a blanket so she doesnt seem brokern >2 hours later we're kissing, I tear her clothes off and undress, and f--- her >It's really hard to control her legs while im on my knees thrusting, as they are flopping about in my one free hand >Camp leaders come close, I say "F---, run" and run away later realize she was disabled and she was lying there naked when the bible leaders came round Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:05:37 No.335695616 Well s---. HAHAHAHA sS Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:06:13 No.335695718 win 2 Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:07:07 No.335695888

Greentext Stories
awkward girl run story horrible greentext stories disabled people whellchair bible camp 4chan how do i take a screenshot

This

El Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:34 No. 140589 10E) >Walking home from party late one evening >Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >Catch me in some random college student neighborhood >Oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >Still in talking phase >Lights fick on in the house >Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver! >Guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard! >All three of them draw rapiers on their belts >Guys run >"1 know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >Stagger home completely drunk with a hat I have no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house. □ SothlknPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)01:36 No.14058930曰 F------ EPIC Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:41 No. 140589829 214058910 THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS
El Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:34 No. 140589 10E) >Walking home from party late one evening >Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >Catch me in some random college student neighborhood >Oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >Still in talking phase >Lights fick on in the house >Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver! >Guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard! >All three of them draw rapiers on their belts >Guys run >"1 know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >Stagger home completely drunk with a hat I have no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house. □ SothlknPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)01:36 No.14058930曰 F------ EPIC Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:41 No. 140589829 214058910 THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS

Greentext Stories
4chan green text stories

Miss your stop

thread File :1267653199751 ipg-(49 KB, 374x357, you-gonna-get-r----.jpg) Anonymous 03/03/10(Wed) 16:53: 1 No.7743764 The awkwardest thing that ITT happened today, presented by greentext. Gaze aimlessly on train Prealize you're looking at a hard-gay black man >look away look at him again >he nods arrive at your stop, which is coincidentally his stop miss your stop
thread File :1267653199751 ipg-(49 KB, 374x357, you-gonna-get-r----.jpg) Anonymous 03/03/10(Wed) 16:53: 1 No.7743764 The awkwardest thing that ITT happened today, presented by greentext. Gaze aimlessly on train Prealize you're looking at a hard-gay black man >look away look at him again >he nods arrive at your stop, which is coincidentally his stop miss your stop

Greentext Stories
gay stop bus greentext black man akward

File: 1346759503879.ipg-(15 KB, 316x237, .jpg) Anonymous (ID: ip+zqffK) 09/04/12(Tue)07:51:43 No.423172671 > Be American > Take first ever trip overseas to Australia Still too early to check in at hotel, so decide to go to airport bar >Bar is surprisingly ful > Not > Beer, beer everywhere > Large taps with beer flowing freely, men collecting it with giant glasses > I knew Australians liked beer but Jesus... > All of a sudden, perhaps unsurprisingly, a big guy in khakis pukes violently all over the bar > His friend, who was laughing, quickly stops laughing and starts dry-heaving > ohgodno.jpg ice everyone is drinking beer AUSTRALIA > The second guy inevitably vomits, which causes the guy next to him to start vomiting. The chain reaction eventually effects most of the guys in the bar until all you can hear is a cacophony of heaving coughing, spluttering and splashing > I manage to drag myself away from the scene and decide to catch a cab to my hotel > Get out the front and it is pouring with rain > Thunder cracks overhead and I almost lose my s--- >Cab pulls up > I lean in the window > "Take me downtown? > He looks at me blankly > Ask him politely if he speaks my language > He just smiles and gi > And he says > "I come from a land down under, where the beer does flow and men chunder, can't you hear can't you hear that thunder? You better run, you better take cover!" and its some Indian guy ves me a Vegemite Sandwich
File: 1346759503879.ipg-(15 KB, 316x237, .jpg) Anonymous (ID: ip+zqffK) 09/04/12(Tue)07:51:43 No.423172671 > Be American > Take first ever trip overseas to Australia Still too early to check in at hotel, so decide to go to airport bar >Bar is surprisingly ful > Not > Beer, beer everywhere > Large taps with beer flowing freely, men collecting it with giant glasses > I knew Australians liked beer but Jesus... > All of a sudden, perhaps unsurprisingly, a big guy in khakis pukes violently all over the bar > His friend, who was laughing, quickly stops laughing and starts dry-heaving > ohgodno.jpg ice everyone is drinking beer AUSTRALIA > The second guy inevitably vomits, which causes the guy next to him to start vomiting. The chain reaction eventually effects most of the guys in the bar until all you can hear is a cacophony of heaving coughing, spluttering and splashing > I manage to drag myself away from the scene and decide to catch a cab to my hotel > Get out the front and it is pouring with rain > Thunder cracks overhead and I almost lose my s--- >Cab pulls up > I lean in the window > "Take me downtown? > He looks at me blankly > Ask him politely if he speaks my language > He just smiles and gi > And he says > "I come from a land down under, where the beer does flow and men chunder, can't you hear can't you hear that thunder? You better run, you better take cover!" and its some Indian guy ves me a Vegemite Sandwich

Greentext Stories
australia

File: 1371922563634.ipg-(769 KB, 2849x3474, Theodore_Roosevelt laughing.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Q6RIFYsi) 06/22/13(Sat)13:36:03 No.488565345 Replies: 2488565738 >Be me >Be 16 >New school, introduced to class >Meet guy who is an a------, let's call him Shitgut >Shitgut tries to start bullying me >Be alpha and resist >Dont make many friends, don't need them >Notice Shitgut bullies other kids >Decide to f--- him up >Figure where his locker is >Wait until school is over, follow him home from a safe distance, unseen >Mark down where he lives, GTFO >Find out he does hockey, figure out where his ice rink is, and what time he trains >Spend six months practically stalking that f---, making sure I don't get caught >Map out where he is at any time, at all times >Then proceed to phase two, buy a pineapple On a day I get off school earlier than he does, bike to his house and leave the pineapple at the door >His parents ain't home for hours, seen by nobody >He tells people about the pineapple tomorrow, nobody cares >Two weeks later, sneak a pineapple at the ice rink, in the men's dressing room >People think he's making it up >Start buying a pineapple on a regular basis, always have it ready when opportunity strikes >Hallway empty, pick his locker and leave a pineapple >His motorbike is unwatched, leave a pineapple >He doesn't mention the pineapples to anyone anymore >Figure out where they keep his home's spare key >Skip school, sneak into his home while his parents work >Leave a pineapple on his bed >Hear he's failing classes >His parents put up a security camera, I figure the blind spot and dodge that s--- >Send him a f------ pineapple for christmas through the mail from a fake address >He doesn't show up to school every day anymore >Don't even think about why I do it anymore, it's just for s---- and giggles now >Bombard that f--- with random pineapples every few weeks for two f------ years >School year ends, finish school Go to college like a boss Come back home for the holidays >Hear someone from my old school had had a panic attac >It's Shitgut >Someone had left a f------ pineapple on the beer shelf k at the grocery store
File: 1371922563634.ipg-(769 KB, 2849x3474, Theodore_Roosevelt laughing.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Q6RIFYsi) 06/22/13(Sat)13:36:03 No.488565345 Replies: 2488565738 >Be me >Be 16 >New school, introduced to class >Meet guy who is an a------, let's call him Shitgut >Shitgut tries to start bullying me >Be alpha and resist >Dont make many friends, don't need them >Notice Shitgut bullies other kids >Decide to f--- him up >Figure where his locker is >Wait until school is over, follow him home from a safe distance, unseen >Mark down where he lives, GTFO >Find out he does hockey, figure out where his ice rink is, and what time he trains >Spend six months practically stalking that f---, making sure I don't get caught >Map out where he is at any time, at all times >Then proceed to phase two, buy a pineapple On a day I get off school earlier than he does, bike to his house and leave the pineapple at the door >His parents ain't home for hours, seen by nobody >He tells people about the pineapple tomorrow, nobody cares >Two weeks later, sneak a pineapple at the ice rink, in the men's dressing room >People think he's making it up >Start buying a pineapple on a regular basis, always have it ready when opportunity strikes >Hallway empty, pick his locker and leave a pineapple >His motorbike is unwatched, leave a pineapple >He doesn't mention the pineapples to anyone anymore >Figure out where they keep his home's spare key >Skip school, sneak into his home while his parents work >Leave a pineapple on his bed >Hear he's failing classes >His parents put up a security camera, I figure the blind spot and dodge that s--- >Send him a f------ pineapple for christmas through the mail from a fake address >He doesn't show up to school every day anymore >Don't even think about why I do it anymore, it's just for s---- and giggles now >Bombard that f--- with random pineapples every few weeks for two f------ years >School year ends, finish school Go to college like a boss Come back home for the holidays >Hear someone from my old school had had a panic attac >It's Shitgut >Someone had left a f------ pineapple on the beer shelf k at the grocery store

Greentext Stories
4chan teddy roosevelt bully pineapple

■ Anonymous f 1107/13(Thu)22:40:55 UTC-5 No.512919342 ! Roples: ASI File: 13839954413 KB 400 215, 1330078366059gn I >Applying for a government job Atter an internew wait a week or so for the background check eSuddenty get a call one day asking ta go to their main office for anotter interview Two guys wearing suits and sunglassas take me into a roam The room looks like an interrogation room; it has asingle celing light. and tas nothing but twn chars, a metal desk, and a camera in the coner One of the guys sits down and the ather stands near the door Sitting guy slams a 44nch thick file on the table ale says that the background check turned up some interesting results The file contains every past He fips through the pages and I see highlighted words and phrases all ower the page lica "faggotucking f----- the k---- are responsible for this n----- software and CP hardcore hental and p--- images Guy sitting down at the table nods to the guy at the door Door guy locks the door Guy sitting down slawly takes off his sunglasses: looks me nght in the eye and and says Care to explain Meet s stare Only one response possible Lurk moar newtag aite rewards me with a single, satisfied nod am hired miw made on 4chan going back tour years ll yourself you mggerfaggot, references to pitated
■ Anonymous f 1107/13(Thu)22:40:55 UTC-5 No.512919342 ! Roples: ASI File: 13839954413 KB 400 215, 1330078366059gn I >Applying for a government job Atter an internew wait a week or so for the background check eSuddenty get a call one day asking ta go to their main office for anotter interview Two guys wearing suits and sunglassas take me into a roam The room looks like an interrogation room; it has asingle celing light. and tas nothing but twn chars, a metal desk, and a camera in the coner One of the guys sits down and the ather stands near the door Sitting guy slams a 44nch thick file on the table ale says that the background check turned up some interesting results The file contains every past He fips through the pages and I see highlighted words and phrases all ower the page lica "faggotucking f----- the k---- are responsible for this n----- software and CP hardcore hental and p--- images Guy sitting down at the table nods to the guy at the door Door guy locks the door Guy sitting down slawly takes off his sunglasses: looks me nght in the eye and and says Care to explain Meet s stare Only one response possible Lurk moar newtag aite rewards me with a single, satisfied nod am hired miw made on 4chan going back tour years ll yourself you mggerfaggot, references to pitated

Greentext Stories
4chan

Anonymous 11/25/13(Mon)19:21:10 No.518004160 >be 15 at home >a few days before my birthday mom uses my pc >sees a lot of .rar files opens one up >winrar appears, saying that the license expires in 40 days >mom takes notice of this >buys me winrar for my birthday Best birthday ever
Anonymous 11/25/13(Mon)19:21:10 No.518004160 >be 15 at home >a few days before my birthday mom uses my pc >sees a lot of .rar files opens one up >winrar appears, saying that the license expires in 40 days >mom takes notice of this >buys me winrar for my birthday Best birthday ever

Greentext Stories
15 birthday winrar 4chan greentext green text > .rar rar files

Did you just?

File: 1372253226932ipg-(7 KB, 205x246, feels.jpg) □ Anonymous (ID: WEQZQGSA) 06/26/13(Wed)09:27:06 No.489373694 Reply] Replies:-2489373859 be me >12 years ago, 7 year old oblivious child Abusive alcoholic mother >Dad was great guy but always at work >He was in the army >Toodumbtoknowanyway.png >Mother forced me to sleep in f------ swinging cot with cat >Cat dragged cutlery and s--- into the cot >Never got good night's sleep >S--- grades even for 2nd grader >Dad didn't care, mother sometimes threw things at me >When dad was home he always spoiled me >Had 8th birthday >Dad told me he was leaving to fight in Afghanistan >He gave me a toy astronaut for my birthday >Left the next day >Demfeels.jpg >Was doing twisted nursery rhymes or some s--- in school >Had to research on little boy blue >Mum had to sign my >Would not sign Whatdoido.jpg >She was all depressed >Found out that my dad was killed in action >Want to die >Get in trouble for no signature at school >Mom f------ beats the s--- out of me >All I have is the astronaut toy my dad gave me >Only link to him >go to bed >Go to cradle/cot thing >And the cat's in the cradle with the silver spoons >Little boy blue and the man on the moon >When you coming home dad I don't know when >But we'll get together then work Anonymous (ID: KmY4SLqu) 06/26/13(Wed)09:28:48 No.489373859 firsties □ Anonymous (ID: QeJA4fu0) 06/26/13(Wed)09:28:57 No.489373875 Did you just
File: 1372253226932ipg-(7 KB, 205x246, feels.jpg) □ Anonymous (ID: WEQZQGSA) 06/26/13(Wed)09:27:06 No.489373694 Reply] Replies:-2489373859 be me >12 years ago, 7 year old oblivious child Abusive alcoholic mother >Dad was great guy but always at work >He was in the army >Toodumbtoknowanyway.png >Mother forced me to sleep in f------ swinging cot with cat >Cat dragged cutlery and s--- into the cot >Never got good night's sleep >S--- grades even for 2nd grader >Dad didn't care, mother sometimes threw things at me >When dad was home he always spoiled me >Had 8th birthday >Dad told me he was leaving to fight in Afghanistan >He gave me a toy astronaut for my birthday >Left the next day >Demfeels.jpg >Was doing twisted nursery rhymes or some s--- in school >Had to research on little boy blue >Mum had to sign my >Would not sign Whatdoido.jpg >She was all depressed >Found out that my dad was killed in action >Want to die >Get in trouble for no signature at school >Mom f------ beats the s--- out of me >All I have is the astronaut toy my dad gave me >Only link to him >go to bed >Go to cradle/cot thing >And the cat's in the cradle with the silver spoons >Little boy blue and the man on the moon >When you coming home dad I don't know when >But we'll get together then work Anonymous (ID: KmY4SLqu) 06/26/13(Wed)09:28:48 No.489373859 firsties □ Anonymous (ID: QeJA4fu0) 06/26/13(Wed)09:28:57 No.489373875 Did you just

Greentext Stories
feels

Happy

□ Anonymous (ID: 62HKOZgM) 12/04/12(Tue)02:15 No 441323025 [r] >>44 1324404 >>441324420 224413248 14 >>44 1 325002 2244 1326072 2244 1326553 >be 25 >walking home from class(dental school) >see homeless woman, no older than i was, maybe 23 at the most >don't want to walk around her rudely >say hello >she seemed scared >she was really dirty, but had these eyes like humble pools of water >chat for a little biti grew up hearing that homeless people really appreciate human contact, plus i didn't have any money to give her) find out that she was kicked out by her parents when she was 20, been roaming the streets ever since >almost ashamed to be thinking that she was a 7/10, she didn't even smell as bad as most homeless ive encountered >offer her a shower and meal at my house >still very shy, but she had that humble/thankful look in her eyes >get to my appt, neighbors giving us dirty looks >get inside show her to the bathroom, find some ladies shower stuff that my ex at the time had left >she comes out after about 35 minutes wrapped in a towel, pile of filthy towels and washcloths >no joke, 8/10 without the dirt >give her some of my ex's clothes, nothing fancy, but she looked like a proper lady >made a pasta/red bean salad while she was washing up >we're eating, she bursts into tears >"No on has ever been this nice to me. I can't repay you, but if you want..". >You're a lovely woman, but it wouldnt be right" >look of relief on her face tells me i did the right thing >we finish eating in silence and she asks if i can take her back to her spot >i walk her 'home with a few extra clothes, soaps, blankets, and the leftovers >get to the spot and she tears up and gives me a kiss on the cheek thanks me for everything and says that shell never forget me part 2 coming swalk by her spot most days after class, sometimes ill bring some dinner for us, sometimes i bring lunch before class swe become pretty good friends Pit's not even that weird that it started as an act of charity >do this almost every day for about 2 months sin that time, she got a job at a Panera and supplied some of the meals for us >she takes showers usually once a week at a nearby shelter by this time >pretty much back on her feet, but still homeless si usually get a kiss on the cheek like that first night when i leave invite her back again one night, saying that a change of setting could be nice get to the house and she nearly pounces on me >making out wildly, not even thinking about what she could have >i don't even care at this point, we f----- wildly for a few hours >she legit put all of her gratitude into it >dont see her for about a week after, got checked by doctor, didn't catch anything skeep doing the lunches/dinners soccasional f--- back at my place >she has a pretty good bit of money saved up from work/donations >we decide to make it official part 3 on its way was skeptical when she moved in, i had been robbed by past girlfriends and didn't know what to expect >have great sex first night wake up in this really nice fog, don't want to get out of bed she isn't there >ohfuckimadumbass jpg >smell fire of some kind >run to kitchen, she looks horrified that she burnt the eggs >relieved as f---, i reassured her that it's fine >every day after that we would leave the apartment together sid walk her to work and walk around until lunch, then class >pick her up after work it was a really nice little schedule we had we would both be so tired from work and class that we'd just crash back at our place >this went on for a few months, it was heaven she was extremely loyal too, like how a rescue dog would do anything for its new owner(not the best analogy, but work with me) she picked up some great cooking skills at that panera job, her sandwiches had everything + that love and gratitude >after a few months, i graduated with a D.D.S. and joined a really nice practice >she kept working at panera, bringing in whatever she could, but i was making some serious money now >at this point im 27, she's 26 >happiest people on earth sin that year of dating, i never found her sleeping around, stealing, she was off all her drugs >decided i found the right girl 5 years later, Grace and I are happily married and expecting our first son in a few months. Some nights she still cries at how kind I was the first night. But I was the one who was lucky enough to have polished that diamond I found in the gutter
□ Anonymous (ID: 62HKOZgM) 12/04/12(Tue)02:15 No 441323025 [r] >>44 1324404 >>441324420 224413248 14 >>44 1 325002 2244 1326072 2244 1326553 >be 25 >walking home from class(dental school) >see homeless woman, no older than i was, maybe 23 at the most >don't want to walk around her rudely >say hello >she seemed scared >she was really dirty, but had these eyes like humble pools of water >chat for a little biti grew up hearing that homeless people really appreciate human contact, plus i didn't have any money to give her) find out that she was kicked out by her parents when she was 20, been roaming the streets ever since >almost ashamed to be thinking that she was a 7/10, she didn't even smell as bad as most homeless ive encountered >offer her a shower and meal at my house >still very shy, but she had that humble/thankful look in her eyes >get to my appt, neighbors giving us dirty looks >get inside show her to the bathroom, find some ladies shower stuff that my ex at the time had left >she comes out after about 35 minutes wrapped in a towel, pile of filthy towels and washcloths >no joke, 8/10 without the dirt >give her some of my ex's clothes, nothing fancy, but she looked like a proper lady >made a pasta/red bean salad while she was washing up >we're eating, she bursts into tears >"No on has ever been this nice to me. I can't repay you, but if you want..". >You're a lovely woman, but it wouldnt be right" >look of relief on her face tells me i did the right thing >we finish eating in silence and she asks if i can take her back to her spot >i walk her 'home with a few extra clothes, soaps, blankets, and the leftovers >get to the spot and she tears up and gives me a kiss on the cheek thanks me for everything and says that shell never forget me part 2 coming swalk by her spot most days after class, sometimes ill bring some dinner for us, sometimes i bring lunch before class swe become pretty good friends Pit's not even that weird that it started as an act of charity >do this almost every day for about 2 months sin that time, she got a job at a Panera and supplied some of the meals for us >she takes showers usually once a week at a nearby shelter by this time >pretty much back on her feet, but still homeless si usually get a kiss on the cheek like that first night when i leave invite her back again one night, saying that a change of setting could be nice get to the house and she nearly pounces on me >making out wildly, not even thinking about what she could have >i don't even care at this point, we f----- wildly for a few hours >she legit put all of her gratitude into it >dont see her for about a week after, got checked by doctor, didn't catch anything skeep doing the lunches/dinners soccasional f--- back at my place >she has a pretty good bit of money saved up from work/donations >we decide to make it official part 3 on its way was skeptical when she moved in, i had been robbed by past girlfriends and didn't know what to expect >have great sex first night wake up in this really nice fog, don't want to get out of bed she isn't there >ohfuckimadumbass jpg >smell fire of some kind >run to kitchen, she looks horrified that she burnt the eggs >relieved as f---, i reassured her that it's fine >every day after that we would leave the apartment together sid walk her to work and walk around until lunch, then class >pick her up after work it was a really nice little schedule we had we would both be so tired from work and class that we'd just crash back at our place >this went on for a few months, it was heaven she was extremely loyal too, like how a rescue dog would do anything for its new owner(not the best analogy, but work with me) she picked up some great cooking skills at that panera job, her sandwiches had everything + that love and gratitude >after a few months, i graduated with a D.D.S. and joined a really nice practice >she kept working at panera, bringing in whatever she could, but i was making some serious money now >at this point im 27, she's 26 >happiest people on earth sin that year of dating, i never found her sleeping around, stealing, she was off all her drugs >decided i found the right girl 5 years later, Grace and I are happily married and expecting our first son in a few months. Some nights she still cries at how kind I was the first night. But I was the one who was lucky enough to have polished that diamond I found in the gutter

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England

□ Anonymous 04/14/12(Sat)18:03 No.136042832 >go to england >head to restaurant for food >watch is set to timezone of hometown >ask someone what time it is >TOYME? WOTS THAT? snotice he doesn't have a watch >no one in england has a watch >big ben starts to chime >everyone stops what they're doing to count the bongs on their fingers >man crashes his car trying to count the bongs >waitress drops my order on the floor to count her fingers >man running down the street: Ol ITS 7 BONG >mfw
□ Anonymous 04/14/12(Sat)18:03 No.136042832 >go to england >head to restaurant for food >watch is set to timezone of hometown >ask someone what time it is >TOYME? WOTS THAT? snotice he doesn't have a watch >no one in england has a watch >big ben starts to chime >everyone stops what they're doing to count the bongs on their fingers >man crashes his car trying to count the bongs >waitress drops my order on the floor to count her fingers >man running down the street: Ol ITS 7 BONG >mfw

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TF2 Greentext

Anonymous 03/19/13(Tue)05:13 No.181622235 Replies: 1816226291816226542181622751181622824181622908181623013181623198181623268 2181623298181623334181623448 181623738 >181623869 >181624049 181624406 File: 1363684381702 ipg-(104 KB, 500x484, sad_frog_2547[1].jpg) >guy in TF2 talking on the mic with a thick arab accent >"You all go now. Go to fight the bad. I stay defend. They no get past. I stay, you go fight.I alone stay for to defend. Take their box. I stay." >someone tells him to shut the f--- up tell them to shut the f--- up and let him talk if he wants (because I think he's funny to listen to) >he adds me every f------ game I play with him he does the exact same s--- >"I am Tank. I wait by helicopter. You kill. I won't let through. You kill. Boomer man, go vomit. I alone guard helicopter. You go. - "You put portal there. Good. I wait. You discover answer. I know answer. Keep portal there. I will put portal when need. Keep putting portal. Good. Do you see? I wait. You put portal. Good just talking non-stop every f------ game we play arab spring happens have no idea where he lives one day he sends me a message >"bad times friend ahead >"maybe no computer" >"maybe no home >"i go away but we are two of soul" will return Last Online: 615 days ago Good luck, you wonderful bastard.
Anonymous 03/19/13(Tue)05:13 No.181622235 Replies: 1816226291816226542181622751181622824181622908181623013181623198181623268 2181623298181623334181623448 181623738 >181623869 >181624049 181624406 File: 1363684381702 ipg-(104 KB, 500x484, sad_frog_2547[1].jpg) >guy in TF2 talking on the mic with a thick arab accent >"You all go now. Go to fight the bad. I stay defend. They no get past. I stay, you go fight.I alone stay for to defend. Take their box. I stay." >someone tells him to shut the f--- up tell them to shut the f--- up and let him talk if he wants (because I think he's funny to listen to) >he adds me every f------ game I play with him he does the exact same s--- >"I am Tank. I wait by helicopter. You kill. I won't let through. You kill. Boomer man, go vomit. I alone guard helicopter. You go. - "You put portal there. Good. I wait. You discover answer. I know answer. Keep portal there. I will put portal when need. Keep putting portal. Good. Do you see? I wait. You put portal. Good just talking non-stop every f------ game we play arab spring happens have no idea where he lives one day he sends me a message >"bad times friend ahead >"maybe no computer" >"maybe no home >"i go away but we are two of soul" will return Last Online: 615 days ago Good luck, you wonderful bastard.

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The best Greentext story ever written.


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Get a new puppy

(361 KB, 80Ux600, x.jpg) □ Anonymous (ID: 15/9fhec) 03/26/13 (Tue) 19:55:54 No.468 ITT: Dog appreciation sbe 12 >get a golden retriever puppy swon't quit shivering so l just hold him for hours name him Duke" be 16 >go everywhere with this dog >best friend >dad goes through a lot of marriages smarries crazy bitch with a rescued abused pit bul >pit bull is a prick to everyone except crazy bitch >have to keep it locked up sone day out in front of house >crazy f------ pit bull gets out of cage runs at me S---.jpeg f----- knocks me down and sinks his teeth into me >Duke comes from the backyard >knocks pit bull off me >fights it for long enough for me to escape >looking back I can see the pit bull tearing my best friend's throat out >I get away >crazy dog runs down street >don't ever see it again scry at my dead dogs side for a good few hours in front of my house where everyone can see >Duke is buried >crazy bitch blames me for her f------ pit bull >be a week later >hungry >look in the cupboard Wat >all of my baked bean cans are gone turn on the news >Duke is a millionaire >m----------- faked his own death to sell my Bush's Baked Beans recipe
(361 KB, 80Ux600, x.jpg) □ Anonymous (ID: 15/9fhec) 03/26/13 (Tue) 19:55:54 No.468 ITT: Dog appreciation sbe 12 >get a golden retriever puppy swon't quit shivering so l just hold him for hours name him Duke" be 16 >go everywhere with this dog >best friend >dad goes through a lot of marriages smarries crazy bitch with a rescued abused pit bul >pit bull is a prick to everyone except crazy bitch >have to keep it locked up sone day out in front of house >crazy f------ pit bull gets out of cage runs at me S---.jpeg f----- knocks me down and sinks his teeth into me >Duke comes from the backyard >knocks pit bull off me >fights it for long enough for me to escape >looking back I can see the pit bull tearing my best friend's throat out >I get away >crazy dog runs down street >don't ever see it again scry at my dead dogs side for a good few hours in front of my house where everyone can see >Duke is buried >crazy bitch blames me for her f------ pit bull >be a week later >hungry >look in the cupboard Wat >all of my baked bean cans are gone turn on the news >Duke is a millionaire >m----------- faked his own death to sell my Bush's Baked Beans recipe

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Dammit Monster

File : 1328814221.ipg-(151 KB, 1024x768, bdb0499-1024x768.jpg) Anonymous 02/09/12(Thu)14:03:41 No.380029363 out at the club with friends no girlfriend see this hot girl over in the comer she seems to be alone, sat at a table cutting a lonesome figure sudden rush of confidence comes over me walk over to her say hi can i get you drink? get her some fruit vodka thing get chatting sher name is nell apparently had come out with friends who had abandoned her she starts to weep a little put my arm around her, comfort her she tells me thanks for comforting her ask if she fancies a dance we dance for a while her body bumps and grinds against mine >feel something oh god no no, not spaghetti you dumb f---- she tums and smirks, and grinds her ass against my boner f--- yeah immediately grabs my arm and drags me out of the club we're in a back alley she throws herself on me, telling me she's homy as f--- >we kiss as she unzips my pants wraps her hands around it tells me this one of two things she's been needing ask her the other she leans closely to my ear >"i need about tree fiddy wait what look closer girl is in fact five stories tall ooks like a creature for the protozoic era >GOD DAMMIT NESSIE Anonymous 02/09/12(Thu)14:04:52 No.380029503

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Kindergarten

□ Anonymous 10/02/11 (Sun)14:30:19 No.356340711 >In Kindergarten >See girl I like >Lay down beside her at naptime >l kiss her neck >Next day >Lay down beside her again >Kiss her on the lips >Slide my hands up a shirt >Fall asleep >Next day >Lay down again, but on the same mat sTake off her skirt and put my d--- in her ass >Use her blood for lube >Take my d--- out and c-- in her mouth >She cries and says she never wants to see me again >Tells her parents Needless to say, that was the end of my teaching career.

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Movie Night

P2 Anonymous 10/02/11(Sun)14:37:27 No.356341545 File 1317580647 ipg-(17 KB, 300x338, mfw1.jpg) be 19 >finally ask girl out for first time >go to movies, try to make out with her nope.avi >MFW I had to finish watching Spider-Man 3 by myself □ Anonymous 10/02/11(Sun)14:39:47 No.356341830 File 131758078Z ipg-(181 KB, 3000x2000, 2007_spider_man_3_0026[1].jpg) be 19 >let creepy guy who has a crush on me pay for my movie ticket >go to movies, he tries to make out with nope.avI MFW I get to finish watching Spider-Man 3 by myself
P2 Anonymous 10/02/11(Sun)14:37:27 No.356341545 File 1317580647 ipg-(17 KB, 300x338, mfw1.jpg) be 19 >finally ask girl out for first time >go to movies, try to make out with her nope.avi >MFW I had to finish watching Spider-Man 3 by myself □ Anonymous 10/02/11(Sun)14:39:47 No.356341830 File 131758078Z ipg-(181 KB, 3000x2000, 2007_spider_man_3_0026[1].jpg) be 19 >let creepy guy who has a crush on me pay for my movie ticket >go to movies, he tries to make out with nope.avI MFW I get to finish watching Spider-Man 3 by myself

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