Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

.

O Anonymous 01/26/15(Mon)12:28:02 No.280890302 >be me >be Dravin >own Merryfair Farm outside of Riftern sonly thing of value is my bow >thieves break in during the night, steal my bow >3 guards outside don't care livelihood is gone >dontstarve.exe has launched unexpectedly >complain to some passerby in a mishmash of armor nofashionsense.swf >several days pass >prepare to tell my wife the bad news >deepest part of winter arriving, won'tbe able to hunt >passerby comes back decked in brown leather from head to toe >f----- joined the thieves guild >hands me my bovw >w--.jar >give him every last gem I have >fall to his feet >bow is glowing strangely, now has "(Legendary)" on it whatevs time for some rabbit stew >go out for moonlit hunt >see a rabbit >nock an arrow >bow glows red arrow goes through rabbit arrow keeps going, pierces mountainside >a new tunnel to Cyrodiil has been completed >Bruma explodes Imperial guards killed by the hundreds >Thalmor try to make a move at the sudden vaccuum, thousands of Thalmor agents wiped out arrow bounces off of justiciar's thick skull >changes course to Summerset Isles >Aldmeri Dominion completely destroyed >Ulfric Stormcloak shudders awake >Decompressing 'Ulfric's Buckets of C--.zip' (1.2 MB/23.5 TB) all women of Eastmarch simultaneously impregnated with Ulfric's bastard children Windhelm renamed to New Whiterun rabbit is screaming in agony as it continues to burn from the inside out >eyes have burst from intense heat its lungs are boiling on the ground next to it. how the f--- is it screaming like this floor is now lava around banshee rabbit >every f------ forest creature in the Rift is now awake final death throes of the rabbit causes it to glow purple loud whip cracking noise as its f------ soul escapes from its mouth and eye cavities flies off in the direction the passerby went all that's left is blackened bones of the rabbit mfw three wolves come to check out the commotion >mfw the bow is out of charges F-----' thieves guild
O Anonymous 01/26/15(Mon)12:28:02 No.280890302 >be me >be Dravin >own Merryfair Farm outside of Riftern sonly thing of value is my bow >thieves break in during the night, steal my bow >3 guards outside don't care livelihood is gone >dontstarve.exe has launched unexpectedly >complain to some passerby in a mishmash of armor nofashionsense.swf >several days pass >prepare to tell my wife the bad news >deepest part of winter arriving, won'tbe able to hunt >passerby comes back decked in brown leather from head to toe >f----- joined the thieves guild >hands me my bovw >w--.jar >give him every last gem I have >fall to his feet >bow is glowing strangely, now has "(Legendary)" on it whatevs time for some rabbit stew >go out for moonlit hunt >see a rabbit >nock an arrow >bow glows red arrow goes through rabbit arrow keeps going, pierces mountainside >a new tunnel to Cyrodiil has been completed >Bruma explodes Imperial guards killed by the hundreds >Thalmor try to make a move at the sudden vaccuum, thousands of Thalmor agents wiped out arrow bounces off of justiciar's thick skull >changes course to Summerset Isles >Aldmeri Dominion completely destroyed >Ulfric Stormcloak shudders awake >Decompressing 'Ulfric's Buckets of C--.zip' (1.2 MB/23.5 TB) all women of Eastmarch simultaneously impregnated with Ulfric's bastard children Windhelm renamed to New Whiterun rabbit is screaming in agony as it continues to burn from the inside out >eyes have burst from intense heat its lungs are boiling on the ground next to it. how the f--- is it screaming like this floor is now lava around banshee rabbit >every f------ forest creature in the Rift is now awake final death throes of the rabbit causes it to glow purple loud whip cracking noise as its f------ soul escapes from its mouth and eye cavities flies off in the direction the passerby went all that's left is blackened bones of the rabbit mfw three wolves come to check out the commotion >mfw the bow is out of charges F-----' thieves guild

Greentext Stories
skyrim thieves guild quest bow glow legendary dravin merryfair farm the elder scrolls

8chan's /furry/ has a spaghetti thread. This anon comes and wins all the prices.

Anonymous 04/17/15 Fri 01.12.20 No 2 1930-201934 >>26 1935-201938 >>26 937 >>201938-201944-26 948 -201948 >>201951 >>26 958 -201983-201965-201974-26 199 -201992-261992 >open sons labtop to do work because labtop was out of charge firefox open with gay cub son waks in asking if i had seen his 3ds sees that i have his labtop and face goes red he starts spilling spaghetti and exuses >tell him its ok to be gay and be furry >while telling him this i say the worst line of my life >"dont worry, i like little boys too" >his face goes from relief to terror in a instant srealise what i said and try to cover myself "though i would never be attracted to you so dont worry" he starts getting chocked up any tears start building up >he walks to his room leaving me confused he is still 13 but i still am confused as to where he stands Wat do /furry/
Anonymous 04/17/15 Fri 01.12.20 No 2 1930-201934 >>26 1935-201938 >>26 937 >>201938-201944-26 948 -201948 >>201951 >>26 958 -201983-201965-201974-26 199 -201992-261992 >open sons labtop to do work because labtop was out of charge firefox open with gay cub son waks in asking if i had seen his 3ds sees that i have his labtop and face goes red he starts spilling spaghetti and exuses >tell him its ok to be gay and be furry >while telling him this i say the worst line of my life >"dont worry, i like little boys too" >his face goes from relief to terror in a instant srealise what i said and try to cover myself "though i would never be attracted to you so dont worry" he starts getting chocked up any tears start building up >he walks to his room leaving me confused he is still 13 but i still am confused as to where he stands Wat do /furry/

Greentext Stories
8chan /furry/ green text spaghetti stories cub tears gay

...

し Anonymous 04/14/15 Tue 23:37:57 No.609895785 6 8 13 > 09896735 60969777-0989 2809898743 wi 03 heres a story from when i was a teenager >be 14 >my mother is very sick >constant medic al issues, mobility issues >not fat, she literally cant balance being 14, i thought she was invincible and would just get over it >shes literally riddled with cancer >shes a fighter though, and we live in australia so amazing healthc are >she battles every s----- illness for 2 whole years all this time still manages to just be my mum >makes me lunches, helps with homework, etc >im always nice to her, because shes sick but sometimes it takes it toll and i get mad we have to eventually get a carer in to look after her as she is getting very sick >she is bedridden before i know it, i can hear the medic al equipment from my room wake up one night to her gasping, walk into her room with a glass of water >shes gasping for air, she'd fallen from bed and broken 2 vertebrae >she goes to hospital for 2 months after that fast forward 3 months and she is well enough to go to the park with her best friend and me we laugh and she even made us some sandwiches >she gets sicker over the next few days >but she still does those mum things, like making my school lunches >she barely has enough energy to get out of bed, but still makes my lunch >get called out of class one day, told to go to the office there is a cab waiting for me, the principal tells me "the school is here for you" but i dont understand >get to hospital, taken to emergency >watch my mother smile at me and take her last breath >later that night im home, walk into the kitchen after crying for hours open the frdge -laid out in there are my school lunches for the next 3 days she literally used the last energy in her body to make sure i had my lunches for that week i sat there on the floor and ate every last one i still cant think about how caring that woman was without tearing up. god i miss her.
し Anonymous 04/14/15 Tue 23:37:57 No.609895785 6 8 13 > 09896735 60969777-0989 2809898743 wi 03 heres a story from when i was a teenager >be 14 >my mother is very sick >constant medic al issues, mobility issues >not fat, she literally cant balance being 14, i thought she was invincible and would just get over it >shes literally riddled with cancer >shes a fighter though, and we live in australia so amazing healthc are >she battles every s----- illness for 2 whole years all this time still manages to just be my mum >makes me lunches, helps with homework, etc >im always nice to her, because shes sick but sometimes it takes it toll and i get mad we have to eventually get a carer in to look after her as she is getting very sick >she is bedridden before i know it, i can hear the medic al equipment from my room wake up one night to her gasping, walk into her room with a glass of water >shes gasping for air, she'd fallen from bed and broken 2 vertebrae >she goes to hospital for 2 months after that fast forward 3 months and she is well enough to go to the park with her best friend and me we laugh and she even made us some sandwiches >she gets sicker over the next few days >but she still does those mum things, like making my school lunches >she barely has enough energy to get out of bed, but still makes my lunch >get called out of class one day, told to go to the office there is a cab waiting for me, the principal tells me "the school is here for you" but i dont understand >get to hospital, taken to emergency >watch my mother smile at me and take her last breath >later that night im home, walk into the kitchen after crying for hours open the frdge -laid out in there are my school lunches for the next 3 days she literally used the last energy in her body to make sure i had my lunches for that week i sat there on the floor and ate every last one i still cant think about how caring that woman was without tearing up. god i miss her.

Greentext Stories
feels greentext worth the read death mother

Sarah and the Marines

墬Anonymous 0301/13Fri)21 45 No. 121 1 7364 Resies: 21malw 121 17411-2113741 as f--- why not >Big ass backyard, Ske bigger than the house, and on the other side of the fence is straight-up forest Hardly even twenty minutes away from Gila Nat. Forest n there, so nobody goes into the forest Brother John (Call him Johnnie) is in the Marines on shore leave, h So what does he do? Wrangles up a bunch of his military friends (About eight) and invite me to go camping with them in the forest behind our house □ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)21:49 No 12117393 Restes 12117431-2112741 Tells me I can mite a friend or two of mine, bring my hunting rile in case they feel like going on a deer hunt or something Sure wihy not, Johnnie's been away for a long ass time Imite my best friend Sarah to go camping with us -She's lof Now a word on John: He loves scanng the piss out of me. So the entire time people are amiving at our house Tm expecting him to puil some sort of s---. >Keeping my cellphone in my bra because we arent that far awary rom the house and its not like we wont get any service when we're in the woods Anonymous 03/01/13(Fr)21.54 No.12117431 Replies: 12117478 121 18741 Everything's ine for about thity minutes, m sting with Sarah and we're giogling All of John's marine buddies are good guys, but really rowdy They have beer, offer us some Sarah goes f--- that but Ive got nothing against beer so why not ol take one beer and that's t, they may be good guys but they're guys and m not about to get drunk with like eight of them around For the most part everything was nomal until l felt something watching me from the woods. I looked around for Johnnie because I wanted to ask him t he inited After twenty minutes there are guys running around shirtless, laughing and hooting and hollering and s---, wearing camo fatigues and hiling boots and having a good time, and Sarah and I are busy with the eye candy when I feel something grab my shoulder from behind SUShe f------ ■ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri22:01 №12117478 Reples21211m.1zwr41 Im mad, but Im not about to go Eventually the campsite gets moved a lttle deeper into the forest, we can barely see the fence fom where we are Sun is defintely going down now, and in the dark the house and the fence fades from iew Around our house, usually the forest lit up with noise around sundown. Im talling, ike birds and s--- h always got pretty noisy But tonight it's dead f------ silent, not We don't care, it's a party Sarah is firting hardcore with some of the guys, and that's sort of gross to me but only because I a) associate them with my brother and b) they're all 21 and up. Suddenly we hear this... I don't know. A wail? A moan? Sounded like two people at the same time, high pitched and low pitched Thank God for Marines, they put their shirts on and put away the beer for a second when have you □ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri22:06 No 12117504 Repies:-naumi-a18741 At this point we notice that the forest is sient, just DEAD f------ silent. Everybody is geting a little nervous now, especialy Sarah Lef's g on guys really we should go Johnnie's buddy Martin basically tells her to woman up and settle down t again, closer this time s got his nfle, I But like a f------ idiot I let it at home There are three people with hunting rifles including Johnnie and one guy with a pistol Im talking rotting meat and vomit, it's so bad that one of Johnnie's friends gags Hardcore Marine has been overseas for like three months. he gaas from this smel that is comina out of the woods ■ Anonymous 03/01/13(Frij22:12 NO 12117531 Reples2121UM21Z11Tmm2110741 Form up Now, living in New Mexoco, we hear a lot of Spanish hormror stories and such, so there are a couple of jokes floating around about La Lloroña (The one who cries), which Sarah HATES that sort of s--- e protect the cilians I guess? k up guys nght now, seniously Martin tells her to cool her t---, t's just a joke She starts to reply when the campfire goes out MASS F------ PANIC, the guys are shouting jargon to each other and two guys break formation to try and get the fire back going again ■ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)22.20 No 12117584 Reples:프1211resuminn 2212110741 Sarah starts screaming and says 'SOMEBODY JUST TOUCHED MY CHESTT Fire goes back on, the guys get back into formation Sarah is sobbing. covering her boobs with her arms The guys start to settle down, when Jahnnie starts screaming at the dude in the back of the group. He's just standing there, back to the rest of us as per circle At first I have no idea what the issue is. I mean, maybe he drank a little too much or something. I try to calm Johnnie down but he is full man mode and I can't get him JOHNNIE WHAT THE F--- IS THE MATTER WITH YOUI? >He's screaming TANGOI TANGOT TANGO TANGO but the other guys don't konow what the f--- he's talking about ■ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)22 29 NO 121 17633 Reples: 21211mi:121|Twalzuw1n121 13741 lp9 A second later the other guys catch on, the two standing on ether side of whoever the f--- this is leap back like it's about to explode >All three riles and the pistol leveled at this guy's head, he doesnt even f------ move as eight dudes start shouting for him to get on the ground and put his hands on Hear something rustle in the bushes off to the right, eight dudes turm with military precision to look and Sarah and I scream because the second they look away, No. starts to look over his shoulder and then vanishes MOPE straight into the fence because f--- can see where rm gong Luckily Im a bit stockily built, and Ive gat plenty of muscle from hiking and hunting in the woods, and the fence is old and weak go right through my f------ fence,cut myself in three places and get a fat splinter in my elbow, but Im back in my backyard at least Johnnie, Sarah, and the others come hurtling down the hill ater me, file in through the fence can see it Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)22. 37 No 121 1 7683 Reples: u1211m.nz118741 Light is sketchy at best by this point especially since irs standing in front of the fre, but from the fence it looks like it's head is jittering back and forth on it's neck like those twitchy f------ in Jacob's Ladder gunshots, when the muzzle flash dies down, it's Hear the wail/moan again and then closer than ever we hear this freakish gibbering laughter, like Hyena level s--- Sarah has practically s--- herse by this time, she's sobbing and screaming and trying to get me on my feet so we can get back inside When we all loak back up it's halfway down the hill, shaling like it's vomiting or something, but there's no sound or anything coming out of it's mouth Through the fence, sprint across the yard, Johnnie pulling me along because my arm f------ hurts and I can't do anything e aready Anonymous 03/01/1Fn)22 40 No.121177O9 Replies 2212117735 2212117744 33121 15741 Make it back inside, lock the back door, crowd around it with guns Martin helps me with my f----- up arm and 7Johnnie grabs my hunting tife from my room, locking all of the doors and windows in the house as he goes Parents come home from town at twelve fiteen and we all s--- bricks Anonymous 03/01/13(Fn)22 44 No 12117736 Replies 12117732 12118741 2212117709 My mom and dad refused to believe us even though Tm al bloody, Jahnnie's gun has clearly been fired and he shows them the clip, and we're al clearly spooked as f---. They got mad at us for a) locking all the doors and b) leaving a fire in the forest, so they just go right to bed Johnnie straight up f------ laughs, like who is going to be stupid enough to go back out there s------- me Sarah started bitching about having left her purse or something back at the campsite so eventually Marvin, who m beginning to think at this point is kind of a d------. tells the others that it's probably just shadows and s--- Sarah -vve sit there for lke ten minutes, getting artsier and antsier Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)22.49 No.12117782 Replies: 121 17792 1211733 12118741 BACK DOOR JESUS CHRIST s to let him in c n------ and the ke >Apparently when they got to the campaite, when Martin put out the camphire, Sarah started gigging like a hyena and then vanished e got the f--- out Johnnię started arguing with Martin about leaving a civilian alone in the forest and I'm just ready to pass out or cry from exhaustion and my arm □ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)22 57 No 121 1 7836 Reples: umm aw12118741m12uasan1211ase4 Johnnie and Martin are f------ screaming at each other, Mom comes in from her bedroom and tells them to shut the f--- up. people are trying to sleep, what's going l start crying, tell her that Sarahs now gone? Martin fils my mom in and she g0es to cal the police. Johnnie tells her to wait in her room and lock it, and her window, and the bathroom door Martin calls Johnnie an idiot and tells him thst they should get all the chilians rounded up in the same place Johnnie starts to respond when there's a thump on the back door thump-THUMP Raspy voice, ike, completely inhuman, says Tango' from the other side of the door chraugh ss across the y □ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)23:04 No 12117898 Reples: utanmammaz41 nto this >After three or four minutes of this, I swear to God it felt ske an etemity, we hear snuffing outside the door We hear whimpering. then giggles from just outside the door, near the bottom very very softly、 from the bottom of the door Everything in my body goes f------ cold, my stomach does a fip, and the guys are too freaked out to even shoot for a second Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)23 12 No 12117979 Replies: mlanmamz118741 Johnnie puts a rife round through the door, but by the time he shoots the thing must have moved, because seconds later we hear the hyena laughter up on the hill gain Watch the back door until the police show up They investigate, come back in haltl an hour and say that their dogs are going a------, but they can't ind anything, have we been doing drugs, etc >Police lesve and we don't hear the thing again Nobody felt safe going home that night and my bedroom had a window looking out into the backyard, so everybody slept in the living room. The next day we got all our s--- from the campsite and I went to Sarah's house to tell her parents that Sarah had gone missing in the forest. Sarah lived down the street from us, and their backyard didn't lead into the forest like ours did but it was really close What are you talking about? I heard Sarah come in early this momning We moved about three weaks later, to California □ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)23: 14 No 121 17998 Reples: 쯔は Before anybody asks no I didn't go to see Sarah at all ater that She didn't show up to schoal, and I refused to even go outside alone without my rfie, so I was sort af a hut-in
墬Anonymous 0301/13Fri)21 45 No. 121 1 7364 Resies: 21malw 121 17411-2113741 as f--- why not >Big ass backyard, Ske bigger than the house, and on the other side of the fence is straight-up forest Hardly even twenty minutes away from Gila Nat. Forest n there, so nobody goes into the forest Brother John (Call him Johnnie) is in the Marines on shore leave, h So what does he do? Wrangles up a bunch of his military friends (About eight) and invite me to go camping with them in the forest behind our house □ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)21:49 No 12117393 Restes 12117431-2112741 Tells me I can mite a friend or two of mine, bring my hunting rile in case they feel like going on a deer hunt or something Sure wihy not, Johnnie's been away for a long ass time Imite my best friend Sarah to go camping with us -She's lof Now a word on John: He loves scanng the piss out of me. So the entire time people are amiving at our house Tm expecting him to puil some sort of s---. >Keeping my cellphone in my bra because we arent that far awary rom the house and its not like we wont get any service when we're in the woods Anonymous 03/01/13(Fr)21.54 No.12117431 Replies: 12117478 121 18741 Everything's ine for about thity minutes, m sting with Sarah and we're giogling All of John's marine buddies are good guys, but really rowdy They have beer, offer us some Sarah goes f--- that but Ive got nothing against beer so why not ol take one beer and that's t, they may be good guys but they're guys and m not about to get drunk with like eight of them around For the most part everything was nomal until l felt something watching me from the woods. I looked around for Johnnie because I wanted to ask him t he inited After twenty minutes there are guys running around shirtless, laughing and hooting and hollering and s---, wearing camo fatigues and hiling boots and having a good time, and Sarah and I are busy with the eye candy when I feel something grab my shoulder from behind SUShe f------ ■ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri22:01 №12117478 Reples21211m.1zwr41 Im mad, but Im not about to go Eventually the campsite gets moved a lttle deeper into the forest, we can barely see the fence fom where we are Sun is defintely going down now, and in the dark the house and the fence fades from iew Around our house, usually the forest lit up with noise around sundown. Im talling, ike birds and s--- h always got pretty noisy But tonight it's dead f------ silent, not We don't care, it's a party Sarah is firting hardcore with some of the guys, and that's sort of gross to me but only because I a) associate them with my brother and b) they're all 21 and up. Suddenly we hear this... I don't know. A wail? A moan? Sounded like two people at the same time, high pitched and low pitched Thank God for Marines, they put their shirts on and put away the beer for a second when have you □ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri22:06 No 12117504 Repies:-naumi-a18741 At this point we notice that the forest is sient, just DEAD f------ silent. Everybody is geting a little nervous now, especialy Sarah Lef's g on guys really we should go Johnnie's buddy Martin basically tells her to woman up and settle down t again, closer this time s got his nfle, I But like a f------ idiot I let it at home There are three people with hunting rifles including Johnnie and one guy with a pistol Im talking rotting meat and vomit, it's so bad that one of Johnnie's friends gags Hardcore Marine has been overseas for like three months. he gaas from this smel that is comina out of the woods ■ Anonymous 03/01/13(Frij22:12 NO 12117531 Reples2121UM21Z11Tmm2110741 Form up Now, living in New Mexoco, we hear a lot of Spanish hormror stories and such, so there are a couple of jokes floating around about La Lloroña (The one who cries), which Sarah HATES that sort of s--- e protect the cilians I guess? k up guys nght now, seniously Martin tells her to cool her t---, t's just a joke She starts to reply when the campfire goes out MASS F------ PANIC, the guys are shouting jargon to each other and two guys break formation to try and get the fire back going again ■ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)22.20 No 12117584 Reples:프1211resuminn 2212110741 Sarah starts screaming and says 'SOMEBODY JUST TOUCHED MY CHESTT Fire goes back on, the guys get back into formation Sarah is sobbing. covering her boobs with her arms The guys start to settle down, when Jahnnie starts screaming at the dude in the back of the group. He's just standing there, back to the rest of us as per circle At first I have no idea what the issue is. I mean, maybe he drank a little too much or something. I try to calm Johnnie down but he is full man mode and I can't get him JOHNNIE WHAT THE F--- IS THE MATTER WITH YOUI? >He's screaming TANGOI TANGOT TANGO TANGO but the other guys don't konow what the f--- he's talking about ■ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)22 29 NO 121 17633 Reples: 21211mi:121|Twalzuw1n121 13741 lp9 A second later the other guys catch on, the two standing on ether side of whoever the f--- this is leap back like it's about to explode >All three riles and the pistol leveled at this guy's head, he doesnt even f------ move as eight dudes start shouting for him to get on the ground and put his hands on Hear something rustle in the bushes off to the right, eight dudes turm with military precision to look and Sarah and I scream because the second they look away, No. starts to look over his shoulder and then vanishes MOPE straight into the fence because f--- can see where rm gong Luckily Im a bit stockily built, and Ive gat plenty of muscle from hiking and hunting in the woods, and the fence is old and weak go right through my f------ fence,cut myself in three places and get a fat splinter in my elbow, but Im back in my backyard at least Johnnie, Sarah, and the others come hurtling down the hill ater me, file in through the fence can see it Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)22. 37 No 121 1 7683 Reples: u1211m.nz118741 Light is sketchy at best by this point especially since irs standing in front of the fre, but from the fence it looks like it's head is jittering back and forth on it's neck like those twitchy f------ in Jacob's Ladder gunshots, when the muzzle flash dies down, it's Hear the wail/moan again and then closer than ever we hear this freakish gibbering laughter, like Hyena level s--- Sarah has practically s--- herse by this time, she's sobbing and screaming and trying to get me on my feet so we can get back inside When we all loak back up it's halfway down the hill, shaling like it's vomiting or something, but there's no sound or anything coming out of it's mouth Through the fence, sprint across the yard, Johnnie pulling me along because my arm f------ hurts and I can't do anything e aready Anonymous 03/01/1Fn)22 40 No.121177O9 Replies 2212117735 2212117744 33121 15741 Make it back inside, lock the back door, crowd around it with guns Martin helps me with my f----- up arm and 7Johnnie grabs my hunting tife from my room, locking all of the doors and windows in the house as he goes Parents come home from town at twelve fiteen and we all s--- bricks Anonymous 03/01/13(Fn)22 44 No 12117736 Replies 12117732 12118741 2212117709 My mom and dad refused to believe us even though Tm al bloody, Jahnnie's gun has clearly been fired and he shows them the clip, and we're al clearly spooked as f---. They got mad at us for a) locking all the doors and b) leaving a fire in the forest, so they just go right to bed Johnnie straight up f------ laughs, like who is going to be stupid enough to go back out there s------- me Sarah started bitching about having left her purse or something back at the campsite so eventually Marvin, who m beginning to think at this point is kind of a d------. tells the others that it's probably just shadows and s--- Sarah -vve sit there for lke ten minutes, getting artsier and antsier Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)22.49 No.12117782 Replies: 121 17792 1211733 12118741 BACK DOOR JESUS CHRIST s to let him in c n------ and the ke >Apparently when they got to the campaite, when Martin put out the camphire, Sarah started gigging like a hyena and then vanished e got the f--- out Johnnię started arguing with Martin about leaving a civilian alone in the forest and I'm just ready to pass out or cry from exhaustion and my arm □ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)22 57 No 121 1 7836 Reples: umm aw12118741m12uasan1211ase4 Johnnie and Martin are f------ screaming at each other, Mom comes in from her bedroom and tells them to shut the f--- up. people are trying to sleep, what's going l start crying, tell her that Sarahs now gone? Martin fils my mom in and she g0es to cal the police. Johnnie tells her to wait in her room and lock it, and her window, and the bathroom door Martin calls Johnnie an idiot and tells him thst they should get all the chilians rounded up in the same place Johnnie starts to respond when there's a thump on the back door thump-THUMP Raspy voice, ike, completely inhuman, says Tango' from the other side of the door chraugh ss across the y □ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)23:04 No 12117898 Reples: utanmammaz41 nto this >After three or four minutes of this, I swear to God it felt ske an etemity, we hear snuffing outside the door We hear whimpering. then giggles from just outside the door, near the bottom very very softly、 from the bottom of the door Everything in my body goes f------ cold, my stomach does a fip, and the guys are too freaked out to even shoot for a second Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)23 12 No 12117979 Replies: mlanmamz118741 Johnnie puts a rife round through the door, but by the time he shoots the thing must have moved, because seconds later we hear the hyena laughter up on the hill gain Watch the back door until the police show up They investigate, come back in haltl an hour and say that their dogs are going a------, but they can't ind anything, have we been doing drugs, etc >Police lesve and we don't hear the thing again Nobody felt safe going home that night and my bedroom had a window looking out into the backyard, so everybody slept in the living room. The next day we got all our s--- from the campsite and I went to Sarah's house to tell her parents that Sarah had gone missing in the forest. Sarah lived down the street from us, and their backyard didn't lead into the forest like ours did but it was really close What are you talking about? I heard Sarah come in early this momning We moved about three weaks later, to California □ Anonymous 03/01/13(Fri)23: 14 No 121 17998 Reples: 쯔は Before anybody asks no I didn't go to see Sarah at all ater that She didn't show up to schoal, and I refused to even go outside alone without my rfie, so I was sort af a hut-in

Greentext Stories
greentext chan skinwalker goatman fleshgait

A cousin and a hammer.

Anonymous 10/04/12(Thu)20:59 No. 157353974 []2157354126 157354165 22157354168 22157354226157354290 157354425 157354489 >Parents are having aunt uncle and my 8 year old cousin over for Thanksgiving dinner one year >They arrive and my cousin immediately runs into the room with a claw hammer and smashes a hole in the wall with it >Parents freak out and ask what the f--- he's doing >Aunt and uncle are laughing explain it's just a phase he's going through where he likes to smash things with hammers >Ask them why the f--- they allowed him to have a goddamn steel hammer if he's smashing s--- with it >"Well, when he doesn't have the hammer then he threatens to swallow a bowl full of nails" >Jesus Christ >All throughout the goddamn meal the kid is smashing his food with a f------ hammer and making chunks and bits of meat fly everywhere >Talking to aunt and uncle about stupid s--- and notice my cousin has just gone into my roonm >lmmediately bolt it to my door >When I get there I see him with his hammer and the stack of games next to my computer >Rush in, tackle him, take the hammer, throw him out of my room and hide the games >While I'm hiding my games hear screaming from everyone outside my room >Check out what's happening >My cousin has just f------ jumped into the goddamn fireplace and set himself on fire >Oh god what the f------ f--- >Aunt and uncle see me with the hammer in my hand "WHY DID YOU DO IT?! WHY DID YOU TAKE THE F------ HAMMER AWAY?!" >Cousin goes to the hospital and lives, but with severe burns >Neve At least he didn't touch my f------ video games r see my aunt and uncle again □ Anonymous 10/04/12(Thu)21:01 No.157354 168 [r] 157353974 WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THE HAMMER? GEE I F------ WONDER, DONT BRING YOUR F----- SON TO MY HOUSE □ Anonymous 10/04/12(Thu)21:01 No.157354 165 [r] 157353974 He deserved to die and so do your aunt an uncle □ Anonymous 10/04/12(Thu)21:00 No.157354 126 [r] 157353974 Now that's a f------ story
Anonymous 10/04/12(Thu)20:59 No. 157353974 []2157354126 157354165 22157354168 22157354226157354290 157354425 157354489 >Parents are having aunt uncle and my 8 year old cousin over for Thanksgiving dinner one year >They arrive and my cousin immediately runs into the room with a claw hammer and smashes a hole in the wall with it >Parents freak out and ask what the f--- he's doing >Aunt and uncle are laughing explain it's just a phase he's going through where he likes to smash things with hammers >Ask them why the f--- they allowed him to have a goddamn steel hammer if he's smashing s--- with it >"Well, when he doesn't have the hammer then he threatens to swallow a bowl full of nails" >Jesus Christ >All throughout the goddamn meal the kid is smashing his food with a f------ hammer and making chunks and bits of meat fly everywhere >Talking to aunt and uncle about stupid s--- and notice my cousin has just gone into my roonm >lmmediately bolt it to my door >When I get there I see him with his hammer and the stack of games next to my computer >Rush in, tackle him, take the hammer, throw him out of my room and hide the games >While I'm hiding my games hear screaming from everyone outside my room >Check out what's happening >My cousin has just f------ jumped into the goddamn fireplace and set himself on fire >Oh god what the f------ f--- >Aunt and uncle see me with the hammer in my hand "WHY DID YOU DO IT?! WHY DID YOU TAKE THE F------ HAMMER AWAY?!" >Cousin goes to the hospital and lives, but with severe burns >Neve At least he didn't touch my f------ video games r see my aunt and uncle again □ Anonymous 10/04/12(Thu)21:01 No.157354 168 [r] 157353974 WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THE HAMMER? GEE I F------ WONDER, DONT BRING YOUR F----- SON TO MY HOUSE □ Anonymous 10/04/12(Thu)21:01 No.157354 165 [r] 157353974 He deserved to die and so do your aunt an uncle □ Anonymous 10/04/12(Thu)21:00 No.157354 126 [r] 157353974 Now that's a f------ story

Greentext Stories
hammer greentext chan

Prego

File: 1352501900004.ipg-(130 KB, 650x813, sads.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Z/jgpDx3) 11/09/12(Fri)17:58:20 No.435969427 gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy >i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird f------ chunks coming out, so l turn on the lights >w-- it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period >I look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit >i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital >she's still bleeding everywhere >by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much more, but all color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent >oh s---, she looks like she's in a vegetative state >storm into to the emergency room, carry her to the nearest doctor and explain everything >he takes one look at her and says >"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" >"WHY THE F--- NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce" mfw
File: 1352501900004.ipg-(130 KB, 650x813, sads.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Z/jgpDx3) 11/09/12(Fri)17:58:20 No.435969427 gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy >i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird f------ chunks coming out, so l turn on the lights >w-- it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period >I look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit >i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital >she's still bleeding everywhere >by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much more, but all color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent >oh s---, she looks like she's in a vegetative state >storm into to the emergency room, carry her to the nearest doctor and explain everything >he takes one look at her and says >"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" >"WHY THE F--- NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce" mfw

Greentext Stories
prego greentext story 4chan

The story of amande

O Anonymous 03/25/15(Wed2008 23 No 606032208 I would like to share my story with you My name is amana Reply] sborn in China very poor, had to sleep in a box for the first few years of my life one day, a man dragged me out of the box family has sold me to America been locked in trans atlantic container almost nothing to eat for nearly a wook >had no home, no job, no family, no further education for the first time in my life,I see NY sold to a man, dealing with my kind of people sa black man buys my body gets me out of there stakes me to his home >first time since leaving China I have real place to call home his name is Leon sdeveloping feelings for him try to do anything to please him >be very thankful for home and life without prostitution some day he starts requesting weird thins from me you have always been doing this wants to use my body 4 times a day starts let his friends using me -again and again always uses me when he is drunk starts hitting me when I dont work always stutfs things upper my rear end sticks chicken legs inside me -shouts "come on, give it to me you damn thing! always calls me thing "faster god damn-it, I want my chickent >his friends are watching >burst into tears >Leon is real l am a microwave Pic not related
O Anonymous 03/25/15(Wed2008 23 No 606032208 I would like to share my story with you My name is amana Reply] sborn in China very poor, had to sleep in a box for the first few years of my life one day, a man dragged me out of the box family has sold me to America been locked in trans atlantic container almost nothing to eat for nearly a wook >had no home, no job, no family, no further education for the first time in my life,I see NY sold to a man, dealing with my kind of people sa black man buys my body gets me out of there stakes me to his home >first time since leaving China I have real place to call home his name is Leon sdeveloping feelings for him try to do anything to please him >be very thankful for home and life without prostitution some day he starts requesting weird thins from me you have always been doing this wants to use my body 4 times a day starts let his friends using me -again and again always uses me when he is drunk starts hitting me when I dont work always stutfs things upper my rear end sticks chicken legs inside me -shouts "come on, give it to me you damn thing! always calls me thing "faster god damn-it, I want my chickent >his friends are watching >burst into tears >Leon is real l am a microwave Pic not related

Greentext Stories
plot twist 4chan >meme arrows

Gimpy and Stain

口(ID: ESV86btB) 03/03/12(Sat)04:14:02 No.384690105 Tard Stories Thread? Tard Stories Thread Work as a Janitor for a High school Nice school to work for Then one day, the school gets a downy kid named Jerry Jerry is rude, messy, and always s---- himself when startled (Which seems to be every single f------ time you speak to him) >School's out and l'm mopping the floors Jerry comes waddling around the corner and sees me >I see him He points at me and laughs, then scuttles away >Next day >After school >Cleaning the bathrooms on the upper floor >l just finished and left when I hear a loud crash and glass breaking >Ohhellno.avi >Jerry and one other tard kid are trashing the bathroom >Garbage cans, mirrors broken, Stall doors ripped off the hinges and a f------ sink ripped out of the wall mfw It's wan O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:22:49 No.384691063 File: 1330766569.ipg-(62 KB, 1183x778, Iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg) Continuation of the Tard-Janitor war The other janitors and maintenance crew notice the little f--------- too We begin calling Jerry and the tard he's friends with Gimpy and the Stain (Jerry always s---- himself-Stain, and the tard kid he's with always drags one foot-Gimpy) Well, after a school dance, I notice Gimpy but not Stain... >Looking around, I spy Jerry dragging a trash can up to Gimpy Gimpy grabs it, and using his tard strength of a thousand derps...proceeds to hurl it up into the light fixture above them. Shattering it into pieces Then the duo proceeds to run around the hall screeching and whooping mfw (ID: E6qfiLGv) 03/03/12 (Sat)04:33:27 No.384692136 File: 1330767207.ipg-(39 KB, 275x385, Reallynigger.jpg) Part III >At this point, it's 2-0 and I need to get the little bastard back >I notice that he's always in the art room after school where one of the hot teachers always stayed late >Following him, I notice that he's attempting to firt with her, and leaning in to smell her butt as she picks up trash around her roonm >When he's about to ask her something, I barge in and tell her one of the Assistant Admin's needs her >He gives me this hate filled look as I smile and wave, walking away with my broom across my shoulder A minor victory The next day, I notice that he has the last lunch of the day watch him wander outside with the rest of the tards to do "outdoor exercises I calmly walk out there and inspect the lawn, then chat with the tard-guards >When the call them all back, Jerry spies me and takes off in the opposite direction >I turn on the sprinklers full force >Jerry is now running around the field, screaming in his language, all the while pointing at me and blubbering ofw his tard guard and I watched him full force faceplant into a goal post and then try to stand up in the mud O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:42:39 No.384693109 File: 1330767759.ipg-(114 KB, 1200x900, ohhellno.jpg) With the Score 2-1 lI needed to figure out something else Jerry was prone to masturbating furiously and then raging hardcore if he even sensed a banana or heard the word banana When he sets his lunch down and goes to get a drink, I wander up and replace his food with banana's of all kinds. Mashed, peeled, unpeeled, pickled, and rotten... then walk away >I watch as he walks up, looks around... then starts screeching and flailing his ams wildly, knocking his tard-guard into the ground and doing some sort of tard ritual that involves humping the table then...he spots me OHFUCK.avi mfw He full on charges at me, fortunately...Ilhad just mopped the floor in front of me >He proceeded to slip...fall down, and then slipnslide his way down the hallway where the wranglers secured him (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:56:24 No.384694545 File: 1330768584.ipg-(97 KB, 1709x961, motherofgod.jpg) >Now at 2-2 we were even, and I was willing to let it go now and leave him alone for good >But no...Gimpy and the Stain had another plan cooked up on the last week of school they stayed after >I was too busy trying to help the drama department move s--- off the stage so they didn't destroy the lights >As I was busy, they snuck into one of the janitorial closets and s--- in the mop bucket, filling it with water and then using two mops to smear the s--- water all over a nice clean hallway >As I'm rounding the corner, an awful, soul killing stench wafts from this direction Whatingodsname.avi round the corner to see the two smearing s--- down the hall and splattering it on the walls and the lockers They see me, reach down into the bucket and grab mounds of s--- Then they try to charge me It seems they forgot that they used s--- water on the floor and it was still wet They both slipped and fell into their own mess, tried to get up, and slipped again I was trying not to bust up from laughter as Gimpy was having a full on fit, just shaking on the ground and screeching Stain was writing around and crying/spinning... looking like a top he was going around so fast mfw Part 2 on the way O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)05:04:15 No.384695313 File: 1330769055.ipg-(40 KB, 512x288, Win.jpg) Part 2 of >>384694545 I called up the Administrators and the School police officer but they didn't respond I called up a few other janitors who were horrified at this scene They helped me unroll some plastic sheeting, take two mops and tentatively reach over the lake of feces Gimpy and Stain both latched on and we pulled them onto the sheets, wrapped them up, and then hauled them off to the tard room and locked them in there until the Administrators arrived In that time, he had taken a stapler and broken out the windows, tried to climb out, found it too high, climbed back in, broke the door window, tried to unlock it from the outside, couldn't reach, and then just began flailing on the walls, smearing s--- everywhere and even on Gimpy they both got into a fight, slapping each other on the face and then Stain did the desk humping ritual again when he pinned Gimpy to the floor The Admins called his mother and Gimpy's mother to come get them, along with two police officers She tried to press charges saying that I was tormenting her son and I showed the cops the security camera footage of them breaking the lights, and them smearing the hallway in s--- In the end, his mother had to pay the damages AND clean up the hallway/tard room by herself as I watched with a smile Gimpy was suspended,and Stain was never heard from again. And that my friend...is how the war was won I got to keep my job, and get rid of a gruesome twosome joyr or.com
口(ID: ESV86btB) 03/03/12(Sat)04:14:02 No.384690105 Tard Stories Thread? Tard Stories Thread Work as a Janitor for a High school Nice school to work for Then one day, the school gets a downy kid named Jerry Jerry is rude, messy, and always s---- himself when startled (Which seems to be every single f------ time you speak to him) >School's out and l'm mopping the floors Jerry comes waddling around the corner and sees me >I see him He points at me and laughs, then scuttles away >Next day >After school >Cleaning the bathrooms on the upper floor >l just finished and left when I hear a loud crash and glass breaking >Ohhellno.avi >Jerry and one other tard kid are trashing the bathroom >Garbage cans, mirrors broken, Stall doors ripped off the hinges and a f------ sink ripped out of the wall mfw It's wan O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:22:49 No.384691063 File: 1330766569.ipg-(62 KB, 1183x778, Iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg) Continuation of the Tard-Janitor war The other janitors and maintenance crew notice the little f--------- too We begin calling Jerry and the tard he's friends with Gimpy and the Stain (Jerry always s---- himself-Stain, and the tard kid he's with always drags one foot-Gimpy) Well, after a school dance, I notice Gimpy but not Stain... >Looking around, I spy Jerry dragging a trash can up to Gimpy Gimpy grabs it, and using his tard strength of a thousand derps...proceeds to hurl it up into the light fixture above them. Shattering it into pieces Then the duo proceeds to run around the hall screeching and whooping mfw (ID: E6qfiLGv) 03/03/12 (Sat)04:33:27 No.384692136 File: 1330767207.ipg-(39 KB, 275x385, Reallynigger.jpg) Part III >At this point, it's 2-0 and I need to get the little bastard back >I notice that he's always in the art room after school where one of the hot teachers always stayed late >Following him, I notice that he's attempting to firt with her, and leaning in to smell her butt as she picks up trash around her roonm >When he's about to ask her something, I barge in and tell her one of the Assistant Admin's needs her >He gives me this hate filled look as I smile and wave, walking away with my broom across my shoulder A minor victory The next day, I notice that he has the last lunch of the day watch him wander outside with the rest of the tards to do "outdoor exercises I calmly walk out there and inspect the lawn, then chat with the tard-guards >When the call them all back, Jerry spies me and takes off in the opposite direction >I turn on the sprinklers full force >Jerry is now running around the field, screaming in his language, all the while pointing at me and blubbering ofw his tard guard and I watched him full force faceplant into a goal post and then try to stand up in the mud O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:42:39 No.384693109 File: 1330767759.ipg-(114 KB, 1200x900, ohhellno.jpg) With the Score 2-1 lI needed to figure out something else Jerry was prone to masturbating furiously and then raging hardcore if he even sensed a banana or heard the word banana When he sets his lunch down and goes to get a drink, I wander up and replace his food with banana's of all kinds. Mashed, peeled, unpeeled, pickled, and rotten... then walk away >I watch as he walks up, looks around... then starts screeching and flailing his ams wildly, knocking his tard-guard into the ground and doing some sort of tard ritual that involves humping the table then...he spots me OHFUCK.avi mfw He full on charges at me, fortunately...Ilhad just mopped the floor in front of me >He proceeded to slip...fall down, and then slipnslide his way down the hallway where the wranglers secured him (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:56:24 No.384694545 File: 1330768584.ipg-(97 KB, 1709x961, motherofgod.jpg) >Now at 2-2 we were even, and I was willing to let it go now and leave him alone for good >But no...Gimpy and the Stain had another plan cooked up on the last week of school they stayed after >I was too busy trying to help the drama department move s--- off the stage so they didn't destroy the lights >As I was busy, they snuck into one of the janitorial closets and s--- in the mop bucket, filling it with water and then using two mops to smear the s--- water all over a nice clean hallway >As I'm rounding the corner, an awful, soul killing stench wafts from this direction Whatingodsname.avi round the corner to see the two smearing s--- down the hall and splattering it on the walls and the lockers They see me, reach down into the bucket and grab mounds of s--- Then they try to charge me It seems they forgot that they used s--- water on the floor and it was still wet They both slipped and fell into their own mess, tried to get up, and slipped again I was trying not to bust up from laughter as Gimpy was having a full on fit, just shaking on the ground and screeching Stain was writing around and crying/spinning... looking like a top he was going around so fast mfw Part 2 on the way O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)05:04:15 No.384695313 File: 1330769055.ipg-(40 KB, 512x288, Win.jpg) Part 2 of >>384694545 I called up the Administrators and the School police officer but they didn't respond I called up a few other janitors who were horrified at this scene They helped me unroll some plastic sheeting, take two mops and tentatively reach over the lake of feces Gimpy and Stain both latched on and we pulled them onto the sheets, wrapped them up, and then hauled them off to the tard room and locked them in there until the Administrators arrived In that time, he had taken a stapler and broken out the windows, tried to climb out, found it too high, climbed back in, broke the door window, tried to unlock it from the outside, couldn't reach, and then just began flailing on the walls, smearing s--- everywhere and even on Gimpy they both got into a fight, slapping each other on the face and then Stain did the desk humping ritual again when he pinned Gimpy to the floor The Admins called his mother and Gimpy's mother to come get them, along with two police officers She tried to press charges saying that I was tormenting her son and I showed the cops the security camera footage of them breaking the lights, and them smearing the hallway in s--- In the end, his mother had to pay the damages AND clean up the hallway/tard room by herself as I watched with a smile Gimpy was suspended,and Stain was never heard from again. And that my friend...is how the war was won I got to keep my job, and get rid of a gruesome twosome joyr or.com

Greentext Stories
greentext tard story

Feral Dogs

□ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:34:32 No.22231968 >>>22232122 (1.22 MB, 1200x900) Bampin' with some OC. Maybe not spooky, but scary when it happened. Still a little jumpy with noises Background: Have an alcoholic mother with bad choice in boyfriend material > Id been living in the forest near my house for about 3 weeks alone. Sleeping in trees, dumpster diving for food, going to the YMCA to shower and do laundry somewhat regularly > I spent most of my time developing skills to not die. Black bears and stuff in the region > I had my trusty bow for this whole thing, no funs yet > One night while I'm trying to find a comfy tree to sleep in, I hear dogs barking > Figure it's just some redneck's stupid dogs over at the farm on the edge of the woods > Rustling in the distance, more barking, a lot closer this time > Decide to get into a tree. As soon as I get around 6 feet off the ground, dogs burst into the clearing I was walking in > Dogs were definitely not owned by anybody. Haggard looking, no collars. Feral dogs > I keep climbing up to get more out of reach for the things because 6 feet felt a little low to the ground > Dogs notice me and start running around the tree barking and jumping. One big f------ dog can jump a little higher than the low branch I was on > Definitely glad I moved up > Six dogs, German Shepherd, two golden retrievers, a mutt, smallish bull dog, big ass rottweiler > I begin throwing sticks at the dogs to scare them off. Smaller dogs move away from the bottom of the tree. Shepherd and Rott could be no less concerned with the sticks > Consider shooting the dogs with the bow, figure I shouldn't because the corpse could attract bears and I don't want to dig a hole or deal with more bears > The dogs eventually f--- off and I wait another hour before climbing out of the tree. Nearly dark so I find a tree with wide branches and post up as high as I could get. > Tie myself in for the night, drift to sleep holding my bow at the ready in case of bears Cont □ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:37:57 No. 22232009 File: evil dog.jpg (155 KB, 1014x1600) 22222321052222232122 > Climb down out of the tree when the sun rises and visibility is up again. Luckily no fog this morming so nothing to worry about on the ground > Walk about 4 miles through the woods toward the river that runs through it. I follow the river to town because no roads border it and there are convenient paths along it. > On my way to town I see paw prints from those dogs right along the river.I stop and listen for anything that sounds ominous Continuing on my merry way because nothing seemed out of the ordinary, I get close to town and stash my bow to avoid getting harassed by cops > Cue washing clothes, dumpster diving for supplies, shower afterward and going back for the forest > Get close to where I stashed my bow. Paw prints everywhere. The little f---- are following me > Grab my bow and climb a nearby tree for a vantage point. See the dogs on the other side of a little stream that runs into the river > Determine path to get around the buggers and take it > Walk back to the middle of the forest (where I try to stay to avoid contact/arrest) as quietly as possible > Don't hear the dogs at all, standard woodland noises like squirrels and bugs and birds > Immediately upon getting to the area I stay, smell wet dog and hear twigs snap in the underbrush. > Climb the closest tree like I was getting paid for it > Three of the dogs react as soon as I make a move and burst out of bushes at me. I made it into the tree in time to not get killed which is good > Dogs circling tree, I decide that I'm not dealing with this the rest of the time I'm out here however long that may be > Launch an arrow down at one of the bastards and it hits it in the neck right behind the skull. Dead on impact and falls to the ground without a sound. No more mutt > Other dogs run over to it and drag it off into the woods. I hear them crunching bones and ripping flesh. They took my arrow. I'm down to four until they leave the corpse Cont □ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:40:58 No.22232038 File: 00small72966770.jpg (82 KB, 760x571) 22232122 > I dont have enough arrows to kill the rest of the dogs and if I miss or only wound them then I can expect to be in this tree all day > Dogs leave the corpse after three hours of ripping into it. I can only hope a bear didn't wander up and scare them off. Might not be able to kill a bear before it > I stay in the tree for a few more hours, it's getting dark again. Dark in the forest is what horror movie directors are dreaming of when they make a scene in the dark tactically out of the tree and wait a few minutes before moving away from the base to be sure that nothing is going to pop out at me > Wander over to the corpse of the dog, I retrieve my arrow and dip out of the area. Make it about a half mile before I realize it's getting too dark to stay on the ground. > Walk to the nearest visible tree that looks habitable. Hear rustling it the underbrush and immediately pull my bow up to the sound > A ridiculously fat squirrel pops out of the bush. I make a move towards it and it dips out > Consider killing the damn thing for food. Realize cooking it might be hard and dogs would probably just roll up as soon as they smelled it > Climb the tree that looked like a good choice and tie in for the night > Wake up early morning to what I hope is a raccoon f------ around in the sticks around my tree. Look down to see a black bear > Tactically s--- my pants and stare at it to make sure it isnt going to climb the tree > I yell to scare the thing off. Looks at me like I'm retarded. Lumbers away > Recover from that and climb down after I can't hear it any more > This morning is a bit chilly and the dew is ridiculous. Still no fog luckily > I start a small fire to get the cold out of my bones. Barely got it going because of dew After a bit I douse the fire in loose dirt. Wait for it to die out and leave the area > No dogs yet today. Feeling pretty good. Still uneasy and jumpy though Cont I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:42:56 No.22232071222232122 File: rottweiller.jpg (9 KB, 200x232) > As the day drags on, I start getting more confident that the dogs might be off somewhere else after I killed their pa > Continue my daily routine of wandering around looking at stuff and trying to find places to sleep that look comfy > Suddenly barking. Really close barking > Run to a tree and climb up as fast as possible. Dogs come peeling into the clearing I'm in. > They keep barking and circling the tree and jumping. I pull back on my bow and aim for the big dog. Hopefully it'll f--- up the pack > I hit the big dog in the shoulder. He drops for a second then starts ripping at the arrow Manages to pull it out and keep running around barking > Apparently it hit bone and just sorta stopped > Draw again and aim for a smaller dog so I can actually kill it hopefully distracting the other dogs > Hit ribs. Dog starts howling in pain and runs out of the clearing. Other dogs start chasing it and run it down quick. Hear pitiful howling from the dog as the others eat it > Retriever down. Hideous bone crunching noises and flesh tearing noises accompanied by howling and growling > Wait the dogs out and collect arrows. The first one was bent from the teeth of the Rottweiler. The second one was bent from the struggle. Three arrows left. Four dogs left > I start making traps in my free time. Hoping to kill the things more efficiently with less arrow loss. No such luck. Four days and not one trap has sprung much less killed anything. > Dogs are making forays into my area more at night. I start waking up from little noises. Sometimes the dogs, sometimes not. Even when it was the dogs I couldn't see them. > Sleep deprivation seemed like a tactic way over the head of a dog, but these bastards were good at it. Getting sluggish during the day because these f---- wouldn't let me sleep > Reaction time started dropping and they seemed to know Bastards started to make more runs at me during the day. Im glad they never really figured out laying in wait Cont. □ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:46:36 No.22232106、 File: dog.ipg (15 KB, 287x312) 22232122 > Sleep deprived and too tired to do much else, I started sleeping during the day and just sitting in trees > The dogs wouldn't make attempts to get me in the trees during the day anymore. They'd wait until night or when I was walking > I started getting really jumpy from random noises and I was getting mild hallucinations from the lack of sleep. Bad combo > About a week after I killed the most recent dog, they started coming in during the day while I was in a tree. I noticed some of them had new wounds > I first though maybe a bear. But I noticed that they were really aggressive with each other now Constantly trying to bite each other if one so much as > I drew my bow again for the big one and hit it square in the chest right under the neck from the front. It made a hideous wheezing noise and started to run around aimlessly > The other dogs started to go for it but it killed the small bulldog pretty quick and the rest backed off. Three dogs, another dying > Watching the dogs try to drag the bulldog and fight the Rott at the same time was interesting. The Rott was starting to hack up foamy blood > As it was about to lay down, the Shepherd ran from the side and bowled it over bending my arrow and killing the Rott. > The remaining retriever and the Shepherd didn't even bother to pull the dogs into the bushes but started ripping them apart right under me. I think they'd forgotten I was there. > I quietly drew back my second to last arrow and caught the retriever behind the ear with it. Dropped immediately and didn't make a noise > I drew back my last arrow and tried to peg the Shepherd with it but he must've heard the last shot and ran away as soon as I was about to shoot. I still loosed the arrow > I thought I missed because he made it into the underbrush but when I went to retrieve the arrows I saw blood where he ran off to Cont □I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:49:17 No.22232141 File: DU2618.ipg (16 KB, 300x300) 、 22232170 > The next day I walked back to the clearing. The dogs were ripped up and there were some bear tracks s I started to follow the blood trail to find the hopefully dead dog. It led to a stream and I couldn't find the dog or where he went from the stream > I heard growling after I crossed the stream. I couldn't figure out the source so I climbed up a little bit. It was dying in a clearing just past some rotting logs > I took my last arrow and launched it into the dogs chest to kill it quickly. Clean kill. Could see it stop breathing from where I was. > Retrieved my final functional arrow and decided I'd had it with the forest for a while > Went back to my Mom's house totally unconcerned with her b-------
□ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:34:32 No.22231968 >>>22232122 (1.22 MB, 1200x900) Bampin' with some OC. Maybe not spooky, but scary when it happened. Still a little jumpy with noises Background: Have an alcoholic mother with bad choice in boyfriend material > Id been living in the forest near my house for about 3 weeks alone. Sleeping in trees, dumpster diving for food, going to the YMCA to shower and do laundry somewhat regularly > I spent most of my time developing skills to not die. Black bears and stuff in the region > I had my trusty bow for this whole thing, no funs yet > One night while I'm trying to find a comfy tree to sleep in, I hear dogs barking > Figure it's just some redneck's stupid dogs over at the farm on the edge of the woods > Rustling in the distance, more barking, a lot closer this time > Decide to get into a tree. As soon as I get around 6 feet off the ground, dogs burst into the clearing I was walking in > Dogs were definitely not owned by anybody. Haggard looking, no collars. Feral dogs > I keep climbing up to get more out of reach for the things because 6 feet felt a little low to the ground > Dogs notice me and start running around the tree barking and jumping. One big f------ dog can jump a little higher than the low branch I was on > Definitely glad I moved up > Six dogs, German Shepherd, two golden retrievers, a mutt, smallish bull dog, big ass rottweiler > I begin throwing sticks at the dogs to scare them off. Smaller dogs move away from the bottom of the tree. Shepherd and Rott could be no less concerned with the sticks > Consider shooting the dogs with the bow, figure I shouldn't because the corpse could attract bears and I don't want to dig a hole or deal with more bears > The dogs eventually f--- off and I wait another hour before climbing out of the tree. Nearly dark so I find a tree with wide branches and post up as high as I could get. > Tie myself in for the night, drift to sleep holding my bow at the ready in case of bears Cont □ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:37:57 No. 22232009 File: evil dog.jpg (155 KB, 1014x1600) 22222321052222232122 > Climb down out of the tree when the sun rises and visibility is up again. Luckily no fog this morming so nothing to worry about on the ground > Walk about 4 miles through the woods toward the river that runs through it. I follow the river to town because no roads border it and there are convenient paths along it. > On my way to town I see paw prints from those dogs right along the river.I stop and listen for anything that sounds ominous Continuing on my merry way because nothing seemed out of the ordinary, I get close to town and stash my bow to avoid getting harassed by cops > Cue washing clothes, dumpster diving for supplies, shower afterward and going back for the forest > Get close to where I stashed my bow. Paw prints everywhere. The little f---- are following me > Grab my bow and climb a nearby tree for a vantage point. See the dogs on the other side of a little stream that runs into the river > Determine path to get around the buggers and take it > Walk back to the middle of the forest (where I try to stay to avoid contact/arrest) as quietly as possible > Don't hear the dogs at all, standard woodland noises like squirrels and bugs and birds > Immediately upon getting to the area I stay, smell wet dog and hear twigs snap in the underbrush. > Climb the closest tree like I was getting paid for it > Three of the dogs react as soon as I make a move and burst out of bushes at me. I made it into the tree in time to not get killed which is good > Dogs circling tree, I decide that I'm not dealing with this the rest of the time I'm out here however long that may be > Launch an arrow down at one of the bastards and it hits it in the neck right behind the skull. Dead on impact and falls to the ground without a sound. No more mutt > Other dogs run over to it and drag it off into the woods. I hear them crunching bones and ripping flesh. They took my arrow. I'm down to four until they leave the corpse Cont □ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:40:58 No.22232038 File: 00small72966770.jpg (82 KB, 760x571) 22232122 > I dont have enough arrows to kill the rest of the dogs and if I miss or only wound them then I can expect to be in this tree all day > Dogs leave the corpse after three hours of ripping into it. I can only hope a bear didn't wander up and scare them off. Might not be able to kill a bear before it > I stay in the tree for a few more hours, it's getting dark again. Dark in the forest is what horror movie directors are dreaming of when they make a scene in the dark tactically out of the tree and wait a few minutes before moving away from the base to be sure that nothing is going to pop out at me > Wander over to the corpse of the dog, I retrieve my arrow and dip out of the area. Make it about a half mile before I realize it's getting too dark to stay on the ground. > Walk to the nearest visible tree that looks habitable. Hear rustling it the underbrush and immediately pull my bow up to the sound > A ridiculously fat squirrel pops out of the bush. I make a move towards it and it dips out > Consider killing the damn thing for food. Realize cooking it might be hard and dogs would probably just roll up as soon as they smelled it > Climb the tree that looked like a good choice and tie in for the night > Wake up early morning to what I hope is a raccoon f------ around in the sticks around my tree. Look down to see a black bear > Tactically s--- my pants and stare at it to make sure it isnt going to climb the tree > I yell to scare the thing off. Looks at me like I'm retarded. Lumbers away > Recover from that and climb down after I can't hear it any more > This morning is a bit chilly and the dew is ridiculous. Still no fog luckily > I start a small fire to get the cold out of my bones. Barely got it going because of dew After a bit I douse the fire in loose dirt. Wait for it to die out and leave the area > No dogs yet today. Feeling pretty good. Still uneasy and jumpy though Cont I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:42:56 No.22232071222232122 File: rottweiller.jpg (9 KB, 200x232) > As the day drags on, I start getting more confident that the dogs might be off somewhere else after I killed their pa > Continue my daily routine of wandering around looking at stuff and trying to find places to sleep that look comfy > Suddenly barking. Really close barking > Run to a tree and climb up as fast as possible. Dogs come peeling into the clearing I'm in. > They keep barking and circling the tree and jumping. I pull back on my bow and aim for the big dog. Hopefully it'll f--- up the pack > I hit the big dog in the shoulder. He drops for a second then starts ripping at the arrow Manages to pull it out and keep running around barking > Apparently it hit bone and just sorta stopped > Draw again and aim for a smaller dog so I can actually kill it hopefully distracting the other dogs > Hit ribs. Dog starts howling in pain and runs out of the clearing. Other dogs start chasing it and run it down quick. Hear pitiful howling from the dog as the others eat it > Retriever down. Hideous bone crunching noises and flesh tearing noises accompanied by howling and growling > Wait the dogs out and collect arrows. The first one was bent from the teeth of the Rottweiler. The second one was bent from the struggle. Three arrows left. Four dogs left > I start making traps in my free time. Hoping to kill the things more efficiently with less arrow loss. No such luck. Four days and not one trap has sprung much less killed anything. > Dogs are making forays into my area more at night. I start waking up from little noises. Sometimes the dogs, sometimes not. Even when it was the dogs I couldn't see them. > Sleep deprivation seemed like a tactic way over the head of a dog, but these bastards were good at it. Getting sluggish during the day because these f---- wouldn't let me sleep > Reaction time started dropping and they seemed to know Bastards started to make more runs at me during the day. Im glad they never really figured out laying in wait Cont. □ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:46:36 No.22232106、 File: dog.ipg (15 KB, 287x312) 22232122 > Sleep deprived and too tired to do much else, I started sleeping during the day and just sitting in trees > The dogs wouldn't make attempts to get me in the trees during the day anymore. They'd wait until night or when I was walking > I started getting really jumpy from random noises and I was getting mild hallucinations from the lack of sleep. Bad combo > About a week after I killed the most recent dog, they started coming in during the day while I was in a tree. I noticed some of them had new wounds > I first though maybe a bear. But I noticed that they were really aggressive with each other now Constantly trying to bite each other if one so much as > I drew my bow again for the big one and hit it square in the chest right under the neck from the front. It made a hideous wheezing noise and started to run around aimlessly > The other dogs started to go for it but it killed the small bulldog pretty quick and the rest backed off. Three dogs, another dying > Watching the dogs try to drag the bulldog and fight the Rott at the same time was interesting. The Rott was starting to hack up foamy blood > As it was about to lay down, the Shepherd ran from the side and bowled it over bending my arrow and killing the Rott. > The remaining retriever and the Shepherd didn't even bother to pull the dogs into the bushes but started ripping them apart right under me. I think they'd forgotten I was there. > I quietly drew back my second to last arrow and caught the retriever behind the ear with it. Dropped immediately and didn't make a noise > I drew back my last arrow and tried to peg the Shepherd with it but he must've heard the last shot and ran away as soon as I was about to shoot. I still loosed the arrow > I thought I missed because he made it into the underbrush but when I went to retrieve the arrows I saw blood where he ran off to Cont □I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:49:17 No.22232141 File: DU2618.ipg (16 KB, 300x300) 、 22232170 > The next day I walked back to the clearing. The dogs were ripped up and there were some bear tracks s I started to follow the blood trail to find the hopefully dead dog. It led to a stream and I couldn't find the dog or where he went from the stream > I heard growling after I crossed the stream. I couldn't figure out the source so I climbed up a little bit. It was dying in a clearing just past some rotting logs > I took my last arrow and launched it into the dogs chest to kill it quickly. Clean kill. Could see it stop breathing from where I was. > Retrieved my final functional arrow and decided I'd had it with the forest for a while > Went back to my Mom's house totally unconcerned with her b-------

Greentext Stories
dog greentext

Anon's lego

T. Anonymous 03/09/15(Mon)01:08:00 No.602699084 File: lego in2g (3 KB, 284x177) >226026992 16 >i was only 9 years old >i loved lego so much had all lego sets and merchandise that my parents could buy i pray to Ole Kirk Kristiansen and Ole Kirk Kristiansen.jr every night >Lego is love" i say "lego is life My dad hears me and calls me the coolest girl ever knew he was the biggest lego fan just like me called him the best dad ever >He makes hot chocolate and sends me to go to sleep >im warm now and my face hurts from smiling lay in bed and its really warm >a cold is moving towards me >im so happy he whispers in to ear, play good >im ready spread my ass cheeks for emmet >he looks at me like im crazy he gets a box full of legos that on the ground >"im not here for that had mix feelings si was happy that emmet was real >but i was sad that he didn't want to f--- me >you dont love me? i say >"i do but more like a friend that i can play lego with >says him i hug him and i say im sorry We start building a lot of things we are having so much fun >my dad walks in >emmet looks at him with that big creepy smile from the original minifigs >My dad joins in to play until >emmet tells us that he has to return to his home planet or else he will become fully real and wont be able to move anymore me and my dad build a giant satellite we use the satellite to call for benny he arrives 2 minutes later in a tiny space ship >emmet licks his claw hand and says ouch si lick my finger and say ouch we hug again >his claw hand lights up he points to a emmet minifig i had in the box of lego Tll be right here" he starts walking towards the spaceship he starts becoming smaller and smaller he becomes minifig sice he boards the spaceship as benny gets ready to yell "SPACESHIP >He looks at me while the doors are closing i wave at him while criyng benny starts yelling "SPACESHIP the spaceship starts fliyng and instanly dissapears my dad and me never speaked about this to anyone until today >fast foward >im 23 now si masturbated with that same emmet minifig >feelsgoodman.webm then me and emmet hug >"come >says emmet >stay >I say (cont.)
T. Anonymous 03/09/15(Mon)01:08:00 No.602699084 File: lego in2g (3 KB, 284x177) >226026992 16 >i was only 9 years old >i loved lego so much had all lego sets and merchandise that my parents could buy i pray to Ole Kirk Kristiansen and Ole Kirk Kristiansen.jr every night >Lego is love" i say "lego is life My dad hears me and calls me the coolest girl ever knew he was the biggest lego fan just like me called him the best dad ever >He makes hot chocolate and sends me to go to sleep >im warm now and my face hurts from smiling lay in bed and its really warm >a cold is moving towards me >im so happy he whispers in to ear, play good >im ready spread my ass cheeks for emmet >he looks at me like im crazy he gets a box full of legos that on the ground >"im not here for that had mix feelings si was happy that emmet was real >but i was sad that he didn't want to f--- me >you dont love me? i say >"i do but more like a friend that i can play lego with >says him i hug him and i say im sorry We start building a lot of things we are having so much fun >my dad walks in >emmet looks at him with that big creepy smile from the original minifigs >My dad joins in to play until >emmet tells us that he has to return to his home planet or else he will become fully real and wont be able to move anymore me and my dad build a giant satellite we use the satellite to call for benny he arrives 2 minutes later in a tiny space ship >emmet licks his claw hand and says ouch si lick my finger and say ouch we hug again >his claw hand lights up he points to a emmet minifig i had in the box of lego Tll be right here" he starts walking towards the spaceship he starts becoming smaller and smaller he becomes minifig sice he boards the spaceship as benny gets ready to yell "SPACESHIP >He looks at me while the doors are closing i wave at him while criyng benny starts yelling "SPACESHIP the spaceship starts fliyng and instanly dissapears my dad and me never speaked about this to anyone until today >fast foward >im 23 now si masturbated with that same emmet minifig >feelsgoodman.webm then me and emmet hug >"come >says emmet >stay >I say (cont.)

Greentext Stories
lego green text

the computer company story


Greentext Stories
4chan green text story

Craigs story

640x409) indh google lineye tegex guy a gun out and a shooting rampage gym in his duil, dingy attire and quietly lited. From what I saw he was a forty something year old guy, who was overweight and worked out somewhat to keep in shape Although he never bothered anyone I noticed that he was the butt of many insults and I was young had been liting for about 4 years or so, thought I knew everything, thought sterolds were enl, but I was enthuslastic and trained harder than the average gym goer. Our gym, although well equipped, was heart a Rness club. Most the members were more concemed with their hair, and clothing being coordinated for the gym social scene. Pigpen simply stuck out like sore thumb, I thought many times that guy unny, morel The owner was a fiend of mine named Chris. He and I had worked together at another gym, he had been a competithe bodybuilder but had since gone into the gym business and had a side business refurbishing homes. I usually spoke to Chris a couple times a week when I saw him, usually front desk talking with Chris and some of the front desk staff Pigpen was walking door shut e font desk said to Chris-I don't understand why you even let him workout here-Chris looked at her with a glare and said calmly "As long Chris wasnt cool and looked at the two of them and said That guy has been through hell and back, you need to show some f------ respect Just because your mommy and daddy pay your bills doesn't give you the right to judge someone you cannot understand. They looked completely astonished, and embaassed, and they should have been I asked Chris what Pigpens deal was. Chris told us that Pigpen had been a successful guy good career, was a competitive bodybuilder and had pro-potential So I asked what happened?" Chris replied "Life-As Chris went father, he had no other family, his mother had died when he was only a toddler. His father had developed a rare type of cancer, he had spent every penny he could trying to get medical care dad and keep him comfortable, in the end his father passed and he lost a good bit of money, his wife let him, and he had to quit competition. He went through a struggle inancially ater that, and never really recovered, and then about ive years ago he was s nearly killed, he was in a coma for several months. The insurance settlement was enormous encugh to help pay if you ever want to know high hog. just encugh t guy several weeks after that, when I saw Pigpen at the gym, I really felt bad, I didn't even know how to look at him anymore. People still poked fun at him, and it made me upset, but I just kept my bead down and trained. Then one day, I was doing chest, and Pigpen was right there doing some seated dumbbell curls, he was only using 30's, never made sense to me how the guy looked like he was big, overweight, but big shoulders and chest, he must have weight near 280-290 itch, but what I saw was one of the biggest f------ forearms I have ever seen on a man, it was lumped with a system of hose veins. I was simply captivated turned slowly y hand and said "My name is Jay" s face was almost expressionless. Chris had said he had gone through all that hard time, hadnt been asked his name in so long that he had almost forgotten what it was-then he shook my hand with the most callous of hand I think I can ever remember shaking I asked him How did you get your forearms so developed? Craig told me he went to another gym to train heay, that it was an old powerlifting gym and most of his foream development had come from heaw deadlits, rows, and shrugs. He asked d ever done deadlifts, and I had but e and said "Gotta do deads kid o you can understand as I was young and impressionable that the next back workout I hit deadifts right away. I was weak at them, I thought 315 was going to break my back but I hung in there and pushed, or should I say, pulled sdoing them After many months of practicing I got very good at them, I was up to 475 on deadlifts and my shoulders and traps were growing and people kept mentioning my forearms. Iwas so impressed by the results from one simple thing that I went to Craig requently to get advice to him. His advice was always so simple, seemed ike it was always too easy of an answer, but it was always solid adice. People in the gym still treated him like s---, but I was always cool to him, he had helped advice on many occasions and in the last year and a half I had gotten not only bigger but much stronger too, I was beginning to have the look of an actual bodybuilder. And it was mostly due gym, Chris got f I had spoken to Craig, I said I hadn't seen him that day. He said "ok and I went back into the gym t other gym would be closed I looked back t Craig talking with Chris, I couldn't hear what they were saying but Chris kept nodding his head, they both walked to a lock Pell and said "Kid, you want to some deads with We wamed up with 135 each, Craig had the chrome bar and I used a standard gym bar Ididn't know how long I would last with deads, the most I had done was 475 and that was one time, hadn't touched it since, as of late 455 was about as much as I could with 2 plates, I looked a l fnished 405 I was feeling good, I had nailed 9 reps, which at the time was a good Then Craig looks at me and s other side of the gym to the double doors, he goes in and I follow in the storage room was a myriad of old stationary bikes, rusted bars, broken plates, and motions his head down t place he picked it up and says "Get the cther one. I grab the rusty plate and its thick and heavw, dificult to cary l carry it back t bars were grip. then with a sudden surge peels t 600 look at him with a doubtful lock and s belore I can bend down to slide it on Craig looks at me and says shaking his head rom side to side "Kid and he's holding his hand up with 5 fingers showing. I tree and grab a 45lb plate, the whole time thinking I shake my head with doubt and I hear Craig say Kld, don't let that bar punk you". Now, I don't know what it was about the way y pants. I stood straight up with actually smiling, he nodded and said "very nice Some people had taken notice of what we were doing. the fitness gym crowd wasn't used to seeing big weights getting lifted like that. I saw Chris walking to us and he had a yellow rubber coated 100 ib powerlifting plate in his hands. He looked at Craig and said Took what I found". Craig nodded and Chris looked at the bar, then tumed to Craig and sald "810". Cralg simply nodded. I couldn't believe my eyes, I had never seen a bar with that much welight o Craig stared at the bar, i was a cold stare, he was breathing deeply, and exhaling slowly, it was like some meditation, he was going somewhere else, somewhere deep in his mind that he had to draw upon for strength. Onlookers had gathered, there must have been a dozen men and women looking on as Craig squatted down to grab hold of even more impressive feat was that he didn't do it only one time, no, he repped it six times, with the finally coming with an explosive crash that must have registered on a Richter scalle. looked at me blankly and said No, with more I had never seen on him. His neck veins buiged thought they may burst. It of raw power but the with 495 still loaded I looked at him in disbelief and said Again?7 I really didn't think I could do any better than 496, that was a personal best for gods sakel So I grabbed a sure it was enough welight to satisty him, he nodded, and when I failed I would just have t Craig sald something to me that I will never forget, he sald to me with a calm like a parent to a child "Kid, that weight isn't s---, there's a lot worse things than that" I stood there for a moment contemplating his words, then it a simple small thing beat you down again and again, its unpredictable l could feel a lump in my throat, and my adrenaine was pumping hard. I took hold of the weight and tightened my grip and straps around the bar, becoming one with it. The onlookers watched but it was like that moment I was by myself y shins, Craig yelled "UUPPPIr puled I could feal my heels digging in traps stinging, it slowly started to move, centimeter by centimeter I pulled y ears were was smiling again and look him ike I was o the gas chamber. Chris looked at Craig calmly saying "9O0 pounds, just like the old days Now there must have been thirty people back there watching, there were odd whispers, people asking athers how much it is, and others simply astonished that this silent giant possessed such strength s something wrong? He reached down and pulled up the bottom of his sweatshirt and pulled it up and off. What I saw was unbelievable. The man was a mass of slabs of muscle and covered in tattoos. Down the backs of his ams body was ike Anonymous 06/09/12(Wed)18 Craig adjusted his belt, and strapped back onto hi t was very quiet, and then I head Chris say "You got this s--- Craigl People started cheering him on, I could hear people saying "Cmon Craig", "You got it bro t was amazing, all the while Craig nostrils started to fiare, and he looked like he was getting p-----, his eyes started to well up, almost like he may cry, and he stared blankly at a spot was, he wasn't with us, l imagine he was in that very dark place that f that into was shaking all over. I locked to his refection in the miror and said "this is nothing for you brother" he nodded and then growled GOT THIS SHITIr, then it was a weight stalled, I thought eyes, and bar traveled futher up until he had it midriff He stood there and he opened his eyes back up, they were bloodshot and tear filled and his pupils were so dilated that one of those wdeos of a great white shark taking a bite didn't know he was ok. People started to f------ clap, Ilooked around at them and couldn't believe what I was witnessing e kneel down c but □ Anonymous 06/09/12(Wed)19 Then one of the gym tards yelled out DAMN PIGPEN GET OFF THE JUICE DUDEr I swung around, I didn't even think about what I was doing, some 30 some year old yuppie f--- with an underarmour tank top and a f----- up stick physique Igrabbed e tried to walk away, he swung around lookin eyes and I said-HS F------ NAME IS CRAIG C-RAM-G CAN YOU SPELL A------ The idiot looked at me embarrassed and replied in a low tone "Im sory man, his name is Craig then he looked at my hand still grasping into his Besh and I quickly let him go. I turned to look back at Craig and he was sitting on a bench and staring and nodded, I nodded back e gym for about another year, I talked to him requently there about training and bodybuilding, Icften reminisced about the day After that year Craig disappeared, Chris told me he hadn't seen him, but heard he moved to another state Craig and I only spoke at the gym, he had no cell phone, I had never seen his place and I had never even had any clue where he lived But guy, I considered him one of e years went by and I trained hard entered my irst show, even managed to make it to Nationals. I always wondered what happened to Craig I wanted to talk t simple answers, so many of the training gurus tried to make things complicated, and Craig just had a sentence or two to say and was spot on with his advice Then one day after a workout I went home, there was a police car in ront of my house. I walked up and there were two officers walking towards me, they ask how, theyt told died officer replied that Craig had no known farnily members still living and that his only l didn't know what they were somy away, I stood mationless yard, then l shock I was in and went inside, I called Chris t mentor of young, the guy that no one understood, the person who people made fun of and taunted and he had been one of the biggest impacts world had just lost something very good, and didn't even realize it The next day I was in a fog. I really had no clue how t Later that week as I came to grips with my hiends death, I came home from work to find an mail envelope package them "My good friend a letter and several phatos. I read the letter and it was handwritten in pencil on natebock paper reading this, I have died was hard, very hard. For a long time I felt empty and the gym was the only thing I had to remind me that I was still alive. The pain of working out and pushing myself reminded me every day that I was still alive. I have been keeping my eye on your competitive career, and have seen some of your shows. Im proud of you kid ery good at comersation as you know I wanted to thank you for the day we did deadifts. That one day I felt like I was a human being again, I felt the best I have 114539593 14540172 14540191 14540303 time I finished reading the letter I was crying bady, I hadn't cried in years, but I was weeping like a baby bady, was there, but h photos from my shows, they were taken rom the audience, Cralg had been at my shows, and I hadn't even known it. I guess he was keeping his eye on me making sure I was progressing not sitting back being lazy..I don't know why shows, t glad that Under the photos was a legal document, it was Craig's will, I read through the legal jargon and towards the end it started to itemize all the belongings that Craig had left behind, and that since I was his only kin that I would be getting these possessions e let a sizeable amount of cash, a truck, his house, and his personal belongings in the house, but the last item on the list was the most priceless of all..one chrome fity pound powerlifting e End
640x409) indh google lineye tegex guy a gun out and a shooting rampage gym in his duil, dingy attire and quietly lited. From what I saw he was a forty something year old guy, who was overweight and worked out somewhat to keep in shape Although he never bothered anyone I noticed that he was the butt of many insults and I was young had been liting for about 4 years or so, thought I knew everything, thought sterolds were enl, but I was enthuslastic and trained harder than the average gym goer. Our gym, although well equipped, was heart a Rness club. Most the members were more concemed with their hair, and clothing being coordinated for the gym social scene. Pigpen simply stuck out like sore thumb, I thought many times that guy unny, morel The owner was a fiend of mine named Chris. He and I had worked together at another gym, he had been a competithe bodybuilder but had since gone into the gym business and had a side business refurbishing homes. I usually spoke to Chris a couple times a week when I saw him, usually front desk talking with Chris and some of the front desk staff Pigpen was walking door shut e font desk said to Chris-I don't understand why you even let him workout here-Chris looked at her with a glare and said calmly "As long Chris wasnt cool and looked at the two of them and said That guy has been through hell and back, you need to show some f------ respect Just because your mommy and daddy pay your bills doesn't give you the right to judge someone you cannot understand. They looked completely astonished, and embaassed, and they should have been I asked Chris what Pigpens deal was. Chris told us that Pigpen had been a successful guy good career, was a competitive bodybuilder and had pro-potential So I asked what happened?" Chris replied "Life-As Chris went father, he had no other family, his mother had died when he was only a toddler. His father had developed a rare type of cancer, he had spent every penny he could trying to get medical care dad and keep him comfortable, in the end his father passed and he lost a good bit of money, his wife let him, and he had to quit competition. He went through a struggle inancially ater that, and never really recovered, and then about ive years ago he was s nearly killed, he was in a coma for several months. The insurance settlement was enormous encugh to help pay if you ever want to know high hog. just encugh t guy several weeks after that, when I saw Pigpen at the gym, I really felt bad, I didn't even know how to look at him anymore. People still poked fun at him, and it made me upset, but I just kept my bead down and trained. Then one day, I was doing chest, and Pigpen was right there doing some seated dumbbell curls, he was only using 30's, never made sense to me how the guy looked like he was big, overweight, but big shoulders and chest, he must have weight near 280-290 itch, but what I saw was one of the biggest f------ forearms I have ever seen on a man, it was lumped with a system of hose veins. I was simply captivated turned slowly y hand and said "My name is Jay" s face was almost expressionless. Chris had said he had gone through all that hard time, hadnt been asked his name in so long that he had almost forgotten what it was-then he shook my hand with the most callous of hand I think I can ever remember shaking I asked him How did you get your forearms so developed? Craig told me he went to another gym to train heay, that it was an old powerlifting gym and most of his foream development had come from heaw deadlits, rows, and shrugs. He asked d ever done deadlifts, and I had but e and said "Gotta do deads kid o you can understand as I was young and impressionable that the next back workout I hit deadifts right away. I was weak at them, I thought 315 was going to break my back but I hung in there and pushed, or should I say, pulled sdoing them After many months of practicing I got very good at them, I was up to 475 on deadlifts and my shoulders and traps were growing and people kept mentioning my forearms. Iwas so impressed by the results from one simple thing that I went to Craig requently to get advice to him. His advice was always so simple, seemed ike it was always too easy of an answer, but it was always solid adice. People in the gym still treated him like s---, but I was always cool to him, he had helped advice on many occasions and in the last year and a half I had gotten not only bigger but much stronger too, I was beginning to have the look of an actual bodybuilder. And it was mostly due gym, Chris got f I had spoken to Craig, I said I hadn't seen him that day. He said "ok and I went back into the gym t other gym would be closed I looked back t Craig talking with Chris, I couldn't hear what they were saying but Chris kept nodding his head, they both walked to a lock Pell and said "Kid, you want to some deads with We wamed up with 135 each, Craig had the chrome bar and I used a standard gym bar Ididn't know how long I would last with deads, the most I had done was 475 and that was one time, hadn't touched it since, as of late 455 was about as much as I could with 2 plates, I looked a l fnished 405 I was feeling good, I had nailed 9 reps, which at the time was a good Then Craig looks at me and s other side of the gym to the double doors, he goes in and I follow in the storage room was a myriad of old stationary bikes, rusted bars, broken plates, and motions his head down t place he picked it up and says "Get the cther one. I grab the rusty plate and its thick and heavw, dificult to cary l carry it back t bars were grip. then with a sudden surge peels t 600 look at him with a doubtful lock and s belore I can bend down to slide it on Craig looks at me and says shaking his head rom side to side "Kid and he's holding his hand up with 5 fingers showing. I tree and grab a 45lb plate, the whole time thinking I shake my head with doubt and I hear Craig say Kld, don't let that bar punk you". Now, I don't know what it was about the way y pants. I stood straight up with actually smiling, he nodded and said "very nice Some people had taken notice of what we were doing. the fitness gym crowd wasn't used to seeing big weights getting lifted like that. I saw Chris walking to us and he had a yellow rubber coated 100 ib powerlifting plate in his hands. He looked at Craig and said Took what I found". Craig nodded and Chris looked at the bar, then tumed to Craig and sald "810". Cralg simply nodded. I couldn't believe my eyes, I had never seen a bar with that much welight o Craig stared at the bar, i was a cold stare, he was breathing deeply, and exhaling slowly, it was like some meditation, he was going somewhere else, somewhere deep in his mind that he had to draw upon for strength. Onlookers had gathered, there must have been a dozen men and women looking on as Craig squatted down to grab hold of even more impressive feat was that he didn't do it only one time, no, he repped it six times, with the finally coming with an explosive crash that must have registered on a Richter scalle. looked at me blankly and said No, with more I had never seen on him. His neck veins buiged thought they may burst. It of raw power but the with 495 still loaded I looked at him in disbelief and said Again?7 I really didn't think I could do any better than 496, that was a personal best for gods sakel So I grabbed a sure it was enough welight to satisty him, he nodded, and when I failed I would just have t Craig sald something to me that I will never forget, he sald to me with a calm like a parent to a child "Kid, that weight isn't s---, there's a lot worse things than that" I stood there for a moment contemplating his words, then it a simple small thing beat you down again and again, its unpredictable l could feel a lump in my throat, and my adrenaine was pumping hard. I took hold of the weight and tightened my grip and straps around the bar, becoming one with it. The onlookers watched but it was like that moment I was by myself y shins, Craig yelled "UUPPPIr puled I could feal my heels digging in traps stinging, it slowly started to move, centimeter by centimeter I pulled y ears were was smiling again and look him ike I was o the gas chamber. Chris looked at Craig calmly saying "9O0 pounds, just like the old days Now there must have been thirty people back there watching, there were odd whispers, people asking athers how much it is, and others simply astonished that this silent giant possessed such strength s something wrong? He reached down and pulled up the bottom of his sweatshirt and pulled it up and off. What I saw was unbelievable. The man was a mass of slabs of muscle and covered in tattoos. Down the backs of his ams body was ike Anonymous 06/09/12(Wed)18 Craig adjusted his belt, and strapped back onto hi t was very quiet, and then I head Chris say "You got this s--- Craigl People started cheering him on, I could hear people saying "Cmon Craig", "You got it bro t was amazing, all the while Craig nostrils started to fiare, and he looked like he was getting p-----, his eyes started to well up, almost like he may cry, and he stared blankly at a spot was, he wasn't with us, l imagine he was in that very dark place that f that into was shaking all over. I locked to his refection in the miror and said "this is nothing for you brother" he nodded and then growled GOT THIS SHITIr, then it was a weight stalled, I thought eyes, and bar traveled futher up until he had it midriff He stood there and he opened his eyes back up, they were bloodshot and tear filled and his pupils were so dilated that one of those wdeos of a great white shark taking a bite didn't know he was ok. People started to f------ clap, Ilooked around at them and couldn't believe what I was witnessing e kneel down c but □ Anonymous 06/09/12(Wed)19 Then one of the gym tards yelled out DAMN PIGPEN GET OFF THE JUICE DUDEr I swung around, I didn't even think about what I was doing, some 30 some year old yuppie f--- with an underarmour tank top and a f----- up stick physique Igrabbed e tried to walk away, he swung around lookin eyes and I said-HS F------ NAME IS CRAIG C-RAM-G CAN YOU SPELL A------ The idiot looked at me embarrassed and replied in a low tone "Im sory man, his name is Craig then he looked at my hand still grasping into his Besh and I quickly let him go. I turned to look back at Craig and he was sitting on a bench and staring and nodded, I nodded back e gym for about another year, I talked to him requently there about training and bodybuilding, Icften reminisced about the day After that year Craig disappeared, Chris told me he hadn't seen him, but heard he moved to another state Craig and I only spoke at the gym, he had no cell phone, I had never seen his place and I had never even had any clue where he lived But guy, I considered him one of e years went by and I trained hard entered my irst show, even managed to make it to Nationals. I always wondered what happened to Craig I wanted to talk t simple answers, so many of the training gurus tried to make things complicated, and Craig just had a sentence or two to say and was spot on with his advice Then one day after a workout I went home, there was a police car in ront of my house. I walked up and there were two officers walking towards me, they ask how, theyt told died officer replied that Craig had no known farnily members still living and that his only l didn't know what they were somy away, I stood mationless yard, then l shock I was in and went inside, I called Chris t mentor of young, the guy that no one understood, the person who people made fun of and taunted and he had been one of the biggest impacts world had just lost something very good, and didn't even realize it The next day I was in a fog. I really had no clue how t Later that week as I came to grips with my hiends death, I came home from work to find an mail envelope package them "My good friend a letter and several phatos. I read the letter and it was handwritten in pencil on natebock paper reading this, I have died was hard, very hard. For a long time I felt empty and the gym was the only thing I had to remind me that I was still alive. The pain of working out and pushing myself reminded me every day that I was still alive. I have been keeping my eye on your competitive career, and have seen some of your shows. Im proud of you kid ery good at comersation as you know I wanted to thank you for the day we did deadifts. That one day I felt like I was a human being again, I felt the best I have 114539593 14540172 14540191 14540303 time I finished reading the letter I was crying bady, I hadn't cried in years, but I was weeping like a baby bady, was there, but h photos from my shows, they were taken rom the audience, Cralg had been at my shows, and I hadn't even known it. I guess he was keeping his eye on me making sure I was progressing not sitting back being lazy..I don't know why shows, t glad that Under the photos was a legal document, it was Craig's will, I read through the legal jargon and towards the end it started to itemize all the belongings that Craig had left behind, and that since I was his only kin that I would be getting these possessions e let a sizeable amount of cash, a truck, his house, and his personal belongings in the house, but the last item on the list was the most priceless of all..one chrome fity pound powerlifting e End

Greentext Stories
feels /fit/

Finish her!

Anonymous 02/08/15(Sun)16:01:22 No. 597 173468 >be me >be in college >sharing flat with a mate pretty cool guy, just as averse to cleaning the kitchen as I am >therefore, good chemistry, nobody complains >College is in a small town only two bars in the entire place >anyway, get lucky one night >haul a wasted 7/10 home from the pub >shes quirky, but fun >sex goes on for almost half an hour >feelsgreatman.avi >about to blow my load in her syells, at the top of my lungs: MORTAAAL KOMBAAAAT!! >Hear bro yelling from the other side of the wall FINISH HER! >blow load as she laughed like a lunatic. Ended up dating her for a year before she split. Still miss her Replies: 597173829>>597174017
Anonymous 02/08/15(Sun)16:01:22 No. 597 173468 >be me >be in college >sharing flat with a mate pretty cool guy, just as averse to cleaning the kitchen as I am >therefore, good chemistry, nobody complains >College is in a small town only two bars in the entire place >anyway, get lucky one night >haul a wasted 7/10 home from the pub >shes quirky, but fun >sex goes on for almost half an hour >feelsgreatman.avi >about to blow my load in her syells, at the top of my lungs: MORTAAAL KOMBAAAAT!! >Hear bro yelling from the other side of the wall FINISH HER! >blow load as she laughed like a lunatic. Ended up dating her for a year before she split. Still miss her Replies: 597173829>>597174017

Greentext Stories
4chan lol sex mortal kombat fatality green text stories

OOHHH SAAAAY CAAANN YOOOUUU SEEEEEE

File 230121pq-(159 KB. 1280x720, 0b88e5fe-9090-420d-b5d2-3( ).jpg) G 1 Anonymous 12/27/13(Fri)19:53:43 UTC-5 No.523682447 Replies: 523684750 523687531 >be me >be a couple years ago >be in 7th grade >obsessed with Liberty Prime replay the 2 Liberty Prime quests from Fallout 3 and Broken Steel every night before I go to bed >dress in a different Liberty Prime shirt every day >drawing a picture of Liberty Prime in class one day >this one kid sitting next to me says, "hey f-- you drawing one of those s----- robots again? >his friend joins in, "dude, what the bell is wrong with you, you're so obsessed with that s---" first guy grabs my drawing and rips it up >"maybe that'll teach you to not be such a f-- >eyes start watering start crying >everyone's staring at me now >close my eyes >hear a feint, slow, thud >air starts to smell like machine oil and democracy >open my eyes and see Liberty Prime COMMUNISM IS A LIE" >vaporizes the kid who tore my paper with his eye laser >picks me up DEATH IS A PREFERABLE ALTERNATIVE TO COMMUNISM throws a mini-nuke at the rest of the class ALASKA'S LIBERATION IS IMMINENT" >been waiting all my life for this moment 刈'm ready, liberty prime, take me!" COMMUNISM IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF FAILURE" >writh in ecstacy as he inserts his massive robocock into my supple a------ >pass out from pleasure >wake up the next morning with an a--- cavity filled with tiny little nukes and prostate cancer >Liberty Prime is love, Liberty Prime is life
File 230121pq-(159 KB. 1280x720, 0b88e5fe-9090-420d-b5d2-3( ).jpg) G 1 Anonymous 12/27/13(Fri)19:53:43 UTC-5 No.523682447 Replies: 523684750 523687531 >be me >be a couple years ago >be in 7th grade >obsessed with Liberty Prime replay the 2 Liberty Prime quests from Fallout 3 and Broken Steel every night before I go to bed >dress in a different Liberty Prime shirt every day >drawing a picture of Liberty Prime in class one day >this one kid sitting next to me says, "hey f-- you drawing one of those s----- robots again? >his friend joins in, "dude, what the bell is wrong with you, you're so obsessed with that s---" first guy grabs my drawing and rips it up >"maybe that'll teach you to not be such a f-- >eyes start watering start crying >everyone's staring at me now >close my eyes >hear a feint, slow, thud >air starts to smell like machine oil and democracy >open my eyes and see Liberty Prime COMMUNISM IS A LIE" >vaporizes the kid who tore my paper with his eye laser >picks me up DEATH IS A PREFERABLE ALTERNATIVE TO COMMUNISM throws a mini-nuke at the rest of the class ALASKA'S LIBERATION IS IMMINENT" >been waiting all my life for this moment 刈'm ready, liberty prime, take me!" COMMUNISM IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF FAILURE" >writh in ecstacy as he inserts his massive robocock into my supple a------ >pass out from pleasure >wake up the next morning with an a--- cavity filled with tiny little nukes and prostate cancer >Liberty Prime is love, Liberty Prime is life

Greentext Stories
america democracy fallout 3 freedom liberty prime 'murica broken steel shrek it love shrek is life liberty prime is love libery prime is life massive robocock communism is a lie

/b/tard transcends to memehood

File: make_like_a_banana ipg (117 KB, 356x450) Anonymous 02/18/15(Wed)15:21:35 No.599070250 b/ help me out I just don't feel likeiving anymore >be me 214 >beta freshman f----- >high school has a computer lab, which I spend almost all my time in >feel like ma go to wikipedia >sprinkles >add in a passage about how in some cultures the word "splablagoo" is acceptable replacement for sprinkle >like iimmies, but it's mine my own meme >use it everyday >bring it up in conversations that have nothing to do with sprinkles or ice cream >after a month I realize I felt different >my legs were gone king myself feel better Make likea banana, and kill yourself. couldn't breathe >l had ascended human form, becoming a meme myself >l am become Splablagoo, destroyer of memes >feel as though the eternal sadness that daunts my daily routine had been finally lifted, and that I was finally able to understand happiness and acceptance >wake up >be me, 22 >alone in my parents basement >it was all a dream >ask bank how many GBP I had left in my checking >not enough for even one chicken tendie see my savings 0 GBP cry myself back to sleep Why live /b/?
File: make_like_a_banana ipg (117 KB, 356x450) Anonymous 02/18/15(Wed)15:21:35 No.599070250 b/ help me out I just don't feel likeiving anymore >be me 214 >beta freshman f----- >high school has a computer lab, which I spend almost all my time in >feel like ma go to wikipedia >sprinkles >add in a passage about how in some cultures the word "splablagoo" is acceptable replacement for sprinkle >like iimmies, but it's mine my own meme >use it everyday >bring it up in conversations that have nothing to do with sprinkles or ice cream >after a month I realize I felt different >my legs were gone king myself feel better Make likea banana, and kill yourself. couldn't breathe >l had ascended human form, becoming a meme myself >l am become Splablagoo, destroyer of memes >feel as though the eternal sadness that daunts my daily routine had been finally lifted, and that I was finally able to understand happiness and acceptance >wake up >be me, 22 >alone in my parents basement >it was all a dream >ask bank how many GBP I had left in my checking >not enough for even one chicken tendie see my savings 0 GBP cry myself back to sleep Why live /b/?

Greentext Stories
4chan meme computer wikipedia sprinkles splablagoo

Anon's bbq party

Anonymous 02/19/15(Thu)13:58:40 No.3779722737797790 >be 10th my birthday invite all my friends and classmates >muzzies included >have a big bbq >muzzies eat spare ribs and love it >my cheeky dad doesnt even tell them what it is just says its very delicious >they ask me what it is >tell them its chicken they eat a shitload more next day in school one of them told me that he got a good ass whooping when he told his dad he want to eat some spare ribs like he did at my birthday DEVILISH
Anonymous 02/19/15(Thu)13:58:40 No.3779722737797790 >be 10th my birthday invite all my friends and classmates >muzzies included >have a big bbq >muzzies eat spare ribs and love it >my cheeky dad doesnt even tell them what it is just says its very delicious >they ask me what it is >tell them its chicken they eat a shitload more next day in school one of them told me that he got a good ass whooping when he told his dad he want to eat some spare ribs like he did at my birthday DEVILISH

Greentext Stories
4chan dad party muslims bbq green text stories barbeque muzzie ass whooping

Anon is home alone

□ Anonymous (ID: k9T6Wmnk) 04/17/12(Tue)06:40:56 No.393964882 >lay in bed s------- pants for 4 days because my dads out of town and i got the house to myself >burglar breaks in >kicks open my door >lazily fling s--- at him >burglar takes off mask >its my dad >explains he suspected i was the s--- shittington of shitton shire admit i am >everything was better than i expected. Anonymous (ID: nSVGhUpO) 04/17/12(Tue)06:43:03 No.393965093 2393964882 dude what
□ Anonymous (ID: k9T6Wmnk) 04/17/12(Tue)06:40:56 No.393964882 >lay in bed s------- pants for 4 days because my dads out of town and i got the house to myself >burglar breaks in >kicks open my door >lazily fling s--- at him >burglar takes off mask >its my dad >explains he suspected i was the s--- shittington of shitton shire admit i am >everything was better than i expected. Anonymous (ID: nSVGhUpO) 04/17/12(Tue)06:43:03 No.393965093 2393964882 dude what

Greentext Stories
wat anon home alone green text stories

And all I wanted was a knife holster

□ Anonymous 08/12/14(Tue)08:24:42 No.22352309 >>22352392 >>22352421 22352510 22352569 Where I live I barely ever have soccermom issues BUT, this one time. be inna Santa Fe with my friend visiting his dad, and his dad's boyfriend (I know, but they're cool) >out at one of the outdoor type malls >l look over and see people with signs screaming about stuff >no idea who they are, oh wel >sick of looking at shoes with two gay men, so I head off alone go into a knife store ow and behold, they have a few holsters and stuff for sale >been CC'ing in a s----- uncomfortable holster all day >buy a nicer one >Ask store owner if I can swap out in the store as im doing this I notice a lady with a sign walking by she glances at me and see's my gun on the counter >the cashier was going to hide it for me but she walked by as I set it down. >Picks up her sign "OCCUPY NM" really big on it. Cont. Anonymous 08/12/14(Tue)08 40 45 № 22352421 >-223524652-22352467 22352309 "oh boy here we go" I said quite loudly to the cashier and store owner. >Lady runs up "THATS ILLEGAL" >l shut my [Shrieking Intensifies] Store owner starts off "Ma'am, this is my store, he can have his gun in here if he wants to. Plus, he has a concealed permit" >"YOU MEAN YOU ADVOCATE PEOPLE SECRETLY CARRYING DEADLY WEAPONS?1?!? HOW DARE YO- >Store owner is walking away from her, face palming >cashier is looking really worried s"Jeff, the lady's just dumb, give her a break, stop. >"Caleb I can't deal with her in MY store messing with MY customers, LADY YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO GIT >I'm sitting there trying to get my new holster on as fast as I can Lady starts chanting some weird slogan about how guns kill or something, i had tuned her out >Her chants must have summoned others because I heard more voices, then looked out the window >her herd had gathered outside the store sall of them could see me putting my gun in my holster >Liberalism intensifies >Store owner come back and says "Lady, calm down or git, last chance." >Lady screams at him, calls him a pig >He raises up a mossberg 500 in full view of the crown and begins loading it. >every shell he put in he counts >click "1" click "2".. goes to five pumps the shotgun >The woman jumps on the floor and screams for help, she's being attacked >I'm standing there in shock >l tell the owner sorry but I need to go "no this happens at least once a day since these C---- (looks and yells at lady) showed up, you go on and have a good day" >walk out >crowd is yelling at me people clawing at my side muscle my way through >go run to my friend "dude let's go" >"why?" angry OCCUPY crowd marching our way >"What...the...f---...what did you even >drag him the f--- away find his dad and his bf >"Guys, c'mon, buy shoes later" (extreme gay voice) "Por que, I was just about to model them fors mi love >"LATER DO IT LATER" >"Si, ok, so pooshy >us 4 walk out >The crowd is just yelling at us as I dive into the car ロAnonymous 08/12/14(Tue)08:50:26 No.22352484 22223524982222352503 >>2 22352421 >Land whale throws her sign like a frisbee and in hits the car >(extreme gay voice again) >"WHO DID THIS" >friend's dad gets out >"WHO IS THE MOTHER..M------------ WHO DEED THEES" slady who threw it realizes her herd has not caught up yet. "WASS IT YOU BEECH?" >"YOU APOLOGIZE TO MI CAR OR I CALL LA POLICE" >lady is mindfucked to no end. A gay man is mad at her, and not on her side >She tries to run >He catches her >(gay and mexican accents intensify) "YOU APOLOGISE TO LA >He is now dragging this land cow to the car "APOLOGIZE >Lady mumbles sorry >"NOW KEES" (pushes her face into the window) "NOW GEET OUTTA MY FACE" >we drive home in silence CARRO PENCHE PUTA" DON'T TREAD ON ME And that's why I love my friend's gay dad as much as my own dad.
□ Anonymous 08/12/14(Tue)08:24:42 No.22352309 >>22352392 >>22352421 22352510 22352569 Where I live I barely ever have soccermom issues BUT, this one time. be inna Santa Fe with my friend visiting his dad, and his dad's boyfriend (I know, but they're cool) >out at one of the outdoor type malls >l look over and see people with signs screaming about stuff >no idea who they are, oh wel >sick of looking at shoes with two gay men, so I head off alone go into a knife store ow and behold, they have a few holsters and stuff for sale >been CC'ing in a s----- uncomfortable holster all day >buy a nicer one >Ask store owner if I can swap out in the store as im doing this I notice a lady with a sign walking by she glances at me and see's my gun on the counter >the cashier was going to hide it for me but she walked by as I set it down. >Picks up her sign "OCCUPY NM" really big on it. Cont. Anonymous 08/12/14(Tue)08 40 45 № 22352421 >-223524652-22352467 22352309 "oh boy here we go" I said quite loudly to the cashier and store owner. >Lady runs up "THATS ILLEGAL" >l shut my [Shrieking Intensifies] Store owner starts off "Ma'am, this is my store, he can have his gun in here if he wants to. Plus, he has a concealed permit" >"YOU MEAN YOU ADVOCATE PEOPLE SECRETLY CARRYING DEADLY WEAPONS?1?!? HOW DARE YO- >Store owner is walking away from her, face palming >cashier is looking really worried s"Jeff, the lady's just dumb, give her a break, stop. >"Caleb I can't deal with her in MY store messing with MY customers, LADY YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO GIT >I'm sitting there trying to get my new holster on as fast as I can Lady starts chanting some weird slogan about how guns kill or something, i had tuned her out >Her chants must have summoned others because I heard more voices, then looked out the window >her herd had gathered outside the store sall of them could see me putting my gun in my holster >Liberalism intensifies >Store owner come back and says "Lady, calm down or git, last chance." >Lady screams at him, calls him a pig >He raises up a mossberg 500 in full view of the crown and begins loading it. >every shell he put in he counts >click "1" click "2".. goes to five pumps the shotgun >The woman jumps on the floor and screams for help, she's being attacked >I'm standing there in shock >l tell the owner sorry but I need to go "no this happens at least once a day since these C---- (looks and yells at lady) showed up, you go on and have a good day" >walk out >crowd is yelling at me people clawing at my side muscle my way through >go run to my friend "dude let's go" >"why?" angry OCCUPY crowd marching our way >"What...the...f---...what did you even >drag him the f--- away find his dad and his bf >"Guys, c'mon, buy shoes later" (extreme gay voice) "Por que, I was just about to model them fors mi love >"LATER DO IT LATER" >"Si, ok, so pooshy >us 4 walk out >The crowd is just yelling at us as I dive into the car ロAnonymous 08/12/14(Tue)08:50:26 No.22352484 22223524982222352503 >>2 22352421 >Land whale throws her sign like a frisbee and in hits the car >(extreme gay voice again) >"WHO DID THIS" >friend's dad gets out >"WHO IS THE MOTHER..M------------ WHO DEED THEES" slady who threw it realizes her herd has not caught up yet. "WASS IT YOU BEECH?" >"YOU APOLOGIZE TO MI CAR OR I CALL LA POLICE" >lady is mindfucked to no end. A gay man is mad at her, and not on her side >She tries to run >He catches her >(gay and mexican accents intensify) "YOU APOLOGISE TO LA >He is now dragging this land cow to the car "APOLOGIZE >Lady mumbles sorry >"NOW KEES" (pushes her face into the window) "NOW GEET OUTTA MY FACE" >we drive home in silence CARRO PENCHE PUTA" DON'T TREAD ON ME And that's why I love my friend's gay dad as much as my own dad.

Greentext Stories
4chan /k/ guns

Autistic anon goes to a farm

Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:29:30 No.530995260 ITT: Autistic Mistakes >Be 15 Go to farm on after- school group's field trip 19 KB JPG Want to be funny "You have a nice d---." > MFW meant to say c--- > MFW I realize he grew vegatables > MFW I'm probably retarded > Go to farmer Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:38:06 No.530996935 this thread is a good thread
Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:29:30 No.530995260 ITT: Autistic Mistakes >Be 15 Go to farm on after- school group's field trip 19 KB JPG Want to be funny "You have a nice d---." > MFW meant to say c--- > MFW I realize he grew vegatables > MFW I'm probably retarded > Go to farmer Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:38:06 No.530996935 this thread is a good thread

Greentext Stories
4chan thread anon autism farm autistic sweating towel guy field trip good thread vegatable

[click here to register to see link] fffffff

Anonymous 02/09/15(Mon)09:10:31 No.282662517 File: 352345239847ipg (39 KB, 30x318) 0 2 Trying to play an old fairly obscure PC game sthe game has some kind of weird graphical glitch that makes it unplayable Sit's hard to search google for the problem because the game is old, not very well known and the problem isn't just an error message I can copy and paste into google >finally find a post from 2007 of someone that has the exact glitch I have sthe post is on a now deserted gaming forum kill me one one other post in the thread besides the OP sthe other poster made a hotfix just for that glitch, just download and drop it into your game folder > You must register to see download links. Click here to register register >don't receive email confirmation register again with a different email >nothing >check the forum >admin post from 2008 basically saying that the whole thing was busted and he doesn't have time to fix it >keep trying to register with 10 minute mail it eventually works by this time I have lost the original thread, log into the forum and navigate back to it scroll down to the download link -http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VREHJGYBT
Anonymous 02/09/15(Mon)09:10:31 No.282662517 File: 352345239847ipg (39 KB, 30x318) 0 2 Trying to play an old fairly obscure PC game sthe game has some kind of weird graphical glitch that makes it unplayable Sit's hard to search google for the problem because the game is old, not very well known and the problem isn't just an error message I can copy and paste into google >finally find a post from 2007 of someone that has the exact glitch I have sthe post is on a now deserted gaming forum kill me one one other post in the thread besides the OP sthe other poster made a hotfix just for that glitch, just download and drop it into your game folder > You must register to see download links. Click here to register register >don't receive email confirmation register again with a different email >nothing >check the forum >admin post from 2008 basically saying that the whole thing was busted and he doesn't have time to fix it >keep trying to register with 10 minute mail it eventually works by this time I have lost the original thread, log into the forum and navigate back to it scroll down to the download link -http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VREHJGYBT

Greentext Stories
/v/ kill me