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It's late at night here but here I am, posting saddening pics of tanks

-The metal that makes up my body has all rusted My engine has been sleeping since my last battle My cannon is non-fünctional >My vision ports are covered in moss >But it doesn't matter -The battle is long over >All I have to do now is to rest, and watch over the flo >My commander told me that flowers should not be trampled by tank trac Until my commander n field of flowe r thi
-The metal that makes up my body has all rusted My engine has been sleeping since my last battle My cannon is non-fünctional >My vision ports are covered in moss >But it doesn't matter -The battle is long over >All I have to do now is to rest, and watch over the flo >My commander told me that flowers should not be trampled by tank trac Until my commander n field of flowe r thi

Greentext Stories
m41 walker bulldog field of flowers peace

Sleep tight, grandpa IS-2 T-T

>my cannon is rusted my engine is long-dead can barely see the vill rough the moss on my visors but I know that the village is still the do not worry vi witt keep you safe just like before: im just a bit tired, thats all:
>my cannon is rusted my engine is long-dead can barely see the vill rough the moss on my visors but I know that the village is still the do not worry vi witt keep you safe just like before: im just a bit tired, thats all:

Greentext Stories
tanks is-2 iosif stalin

Countdown to Ecstasy

File: 1350359380711png-(286 KB, 800x896 6, feelthur.png) GI □ Anonymous (ID: LFqSsx91) 10/15/12/(Mon)20:49:40 UTC-7 No.430909276 >1 am >browsing for p--- >having a hard time finding something good >been fapping for almost an hour >find video of 10/10 goddess giving joi >tells me how to fap isn't a w---- about it >slow and sensual svoice is f------ velvet teases me >doesn't give me permission to c-- until she says so >ohgodfuckyes >worried that this video will get ruined by her saying something stupid and whorey >doesn't >she's a f------ goddess >gives me a countdown of when i get to c-- >ohgodicantholdit >please get to 1 stops at two to tease me >ohgodpleaseletmecum >pulls her mask off >it's bill f------ murray >"no one will ever believe you. now b------------- for me you f------ piggy" >best orgasm of my life
File: 1350359380711png-(286 KB, 800x896 6, feelthur.png) GI □ Anonymous (ID: LFqSsx91) 10/15/12/(Mon)20:49:40 UTC-7 No.430909276 >1 am >browsing for p--- >having a hard time finding something good >been fapping for almost an hour >find video of 10/10 goddess giving joi >tells me how to fap isn't a w---- about it >slow and sensual svoice is f------ velvet teases me >doesn't give me permission to c-- until she says so >ohgodfuckyes >worried that this video will get ruined by her saying something stupid and whorey >doesn't >she's a f------ goddess >gives me a countdown of when i get to c-- >ohgodicantholdit >please get to 1 stops at two to tease me >ohgodpleaseletmecum >pulls her mask off >it's bill f------ murray >"no one will ever believe you. now b------------- for me you f------ piggy" >best orgasm of my life

Greentext Stories
countdown fap bill murray

Battleshitpost

Anonymous (ID: +HSrPhs8) 02/27/13(Wed)17:34:30 No.461742905 BATILES >Be 17 Miss 87 KB JPG
Anonymous (ID: +HSrPhs8) 02/27/13(Wed)17:34:30 No.461742905 BATILES >Be 17 Miss 87 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
battleship

Terrorism in Poland

>muslim terrorist attack in Poland >drive to Radom airport and want to blow yourself up realize that an airport is completely empty, literally no one is there >with sad face wanna go home >notice that your car was stolen >decide go on foot >it is evening, go to sleep next to the bus station >wake up and realize you got robbed >enter bigger city, wanna find police and ask them for help >get beaten by gentelmen in adidas tracksuit >finally find police and ask them for help >you have no documents, go to prison for 10 month:s >after 10 months get freed of charge >your assylum status in Sweden has ended, since you haven't been there for 6 months >get deported to Middle East
>muslim terrorist attack in Poland >drive to Radom airport and want to blow yourself up realize that an airport is completely empty, literally no one is there >with sad face wanna go home >notice that your car was stolen >decide go on foot >it is evening, go to sleep next to the bus station >wake up and realize you got robbed >enter bigger city, wanna find police and ask them for help >get beaten by gentelmen in adidas tracksuit >finally find police and ask them for help >you have no documents, go to prison for 10 month:s >after 10 months get freed of charge >your assylum status in Sweden has ended, since you haven't been there for 6 months >get deported to Middle East

Greentext Stories
terrorism terrorist poland ironic

Architecture

File: articl (41 KB, 615x409) Anonymous (ID: M8Man5jo) 05/02/14(Fri)15:18:39 No.544778038 > be me, be an architect >boss of the studio i work for comes for a "quick job" > a customer has a pretty new house but wants some adjustment > boss hands me the customer a sheet with the specifics >look throught them, laught, comment "well, whatever, he's paying" > i'm given a week for the whole job > week passes, customer is in the studio > show the new drawings > ive added a nice "arbrech macht frei" to the front gate, to be done in a nice dark grey cast iron > a large swastica mosaic is to be done on the entrance floor, ive already contact a local mosaic artist third-reich eagles decorate the staircase and the very same eagle motif is used again on the courtains > if the customer wants to spend some more, ive sketched furher glass wall to be used in the living room > mfw he wanted an anti-seismic house mfw i read anti-semitic
File: articl (41 KB, 615x409) Anonymous (ID: M8Man5jo) 05/02/14(Fri)15:18:39 No.544778038 > be me, be an architect >boss of the studio i work for comes for a "quick job" > a customer has a pretty new house but wants some adjustment > boss hands me the customer a sheet with the specifics >look throught them, laught, comment "well, whatever, he's paying" > i'm given a week for the whole job > week passes, customer is in the studio > show the new drawings > ive added a nice "arbrech macht frei" to the front gate, to be done in a nice dark grey cast iron > a large swastica mosaic is to be done on the entrance floor, ive already contact a local mosaic artist third-reich eagles decorate the staircase and the very same eagle motif is used again on the courtains > if the customer wants to spend some more, ive sketched furher glass wall to be used in the living room > mfw he wanted an anti-seismic house mfw i read anti-semitic

Greentext Stories
architecture house hitler swastica semitic

Ghost 💩

Anonymous No.643622648 1 hour ago High stories? >Be me, 17 >Going on a boat ride with my 2 bros >High as f--- off brownies >Sitting in some aluminum cheap ass chairs waiting >Taking it all in >Suddenly realize there's something between my thighs >Oh f--- I shat myself >Pretty f------ disappointed in myself >How the f--- did this happen Walk to the bathroom awkwardly so the s--- nugget doesn't fall out of my shorts >Bathroom is near the booth to get the tickets >Huge crowd >F--- man I'm too high for this. Have to pass through people whilst also trying to keep my legs closed >For a high person this is very frustrating >Get in bathroom >mfw it was just my balls mfw I spent 20 mins getting to the bathroom mfw I have no face
Anonymous No.643622648 1 hour ago High stories? >Be me, 17 >Going on a boat ride with my 2 bros >High as f--- off brownies >Sitting in some aluminum cheap ass chairs waiting >Taking it all in >Suddenly realize there's something between my thighs >Oh f--- I shat myself >Pretty f------ disappointed in myself >How the f--- did this happen Walk to the bathroom awkwardly so the s--- nugget doesn't fall out of my shorts >Bathroom is near the booth to get the tickets >Huge crowd >F--- man I'm too high for this. Have to pass through people whilst also trying to keep my legs closed >For a high person this is very frustrating >Get in bathroom >mfw it was just my balls mfw I spent 20 mins getting to the bathroom mfw I have no face

Greentext Stories
high weed turd poo loo balls

Get high / lucky

Anonymous (ID: iVZUMVBi) 09/12/12(Wed)19:38:38 There is mo heavon No.424844538 >walking home from school >see girl like also walking home grow the balls to walk up to her say hey to her >"Hi" >never really talked to her >awkward silence aks me if I want to burn with her f--- yes go to park >she pulls out an ounce of weed f--- yes Only Lavender Townsmoke 3 grams >high af >she asks me if I want to kiss her f--- yes we kiss grabs my d--- f--- yes >starts giving me a b------ >f------ awesome sasks me to finger her >never fingered a girl feelsgood.jpg >asks me to >feelsbetter.jpg ask for 3 finger >does so sasks for my whole hand wut >still does so sasks for both of my hands >more wut >does so >"I need more" >"what else do you need I have both my hands in your p----" >she looks me in the eye >"I need about tree fiddy" >It was about that time when I realized I had both of my hands in the vagina of a 8 storie tall crustacean from the paleozoic era sthat god damned loch ness monster had tricked me again pic not related
Anonymous (ID: iVZUMVBi) 09/12/12(Wed)19:38:38 There is mo heavon No.424844538 >walking home from school >see girl like also walking home grow the balls to walk up to her say hey to her >"Hi" >never really talked to her >awkward silence aks me if I want to burn with her f--- yes go to park >she pulls out an ounce of weed f--- yes Only Lavender Townsmoke 3 grams >high af >she asks me if I want to kiss her f--- yes we kiss grabs my d--- f--- yes >starts giving me a b------ >f------ awesome sasks me to finger her >never fingered a girl feelsgood.jpg >asks me to >feelsbetter.jpg ask for 3 finger >does so sasks for my whole hand wut >still does so sasks for both of my hands >more wut >does so >"I need more" >"what else do you need I have both my hands in your p----" >she looks me in the eye >"I need about tree fiddy" >It was about that time when I realized I had both of my hands in the vagina of a 8 storie tall crustacean from the paleozoic era sthat god damned loch ness monster had tricked me again pic not related

Greentext Stories
high freak loch ness $3.50

Good roommate

purchasing a Seil-serve ad, of buying a TChan Fass Janitor acceptance emails will be sent out over the coming weeks. Make sure to check your spam box! Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] IAuto] 0/0/ 1/? File: my roomate.gif (499 KB, 483x325) ■ Anonymous 05/25/16(Wed)22:32:25 No.686223535 >Be me >Roommate leaves at 4:00 every day Wake up at 4.10 for no confrontation >Decide to j------- on couch in living > Watching webcam p--- while beating off >Roommates cat jumps on couch rubs up against me >Push cat off >Cat jumps back on couch >Grab cat >Decide to put cat in roommates room and close the door like I always do room because roommate is gonde >Cat in one hand, rubbing lotion boner with other hand to remain hard >Walk into roommates room to throw cat inside >Roommate called in sichk >See's me with his cat in one hand >Other hand working a lotion boner >Laugh >He screams Pic related Return] [Catalog] [Topl [Update] [Auto] Post a Reply] 0/0/ 1/?
purchasing a Seil-serve ad, of buying a TChan Fass Janitor acceptance emails will be sent out over the coming weeks. Make sure to check your spam box! Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] IAuto] 0/0/ 1/? File: my roomate.gif (499 KB, 483x325) ■ Anonymous 05/25/16(Wed)22:32:25 No.686223535 >Be me >Roommate leaves at 4:00 every day Wake up at 4.10 for no confrontation >Decide to j------- on couch in living > Watching webcam p--- while beating off >Roommates cat jumps on couch rubs up against me >Push cat off >Cat jumps back on couch >Grab cat >Decide to put cat in roommates room and close the door like I always do room because roommate is gonde >Cat in one hand, rubbing lotion boner with other hand to remain hard >Walk into roommates room to throw cat inside >Roommate called in sichk >See's me with his cat in one hand >Other hand working a lotion boner >Laugh >He screams Pic related Return] [Catalog] [Topl [Update] [Auto] Post a Reply] 0/0/ 1/?

Greentext Stories
scream knife fap cat

Musketeer Cont'd

| Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:34 No. 14058910 >Walking home from party late one evening >Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >Catch me in some random college student neighborhood >Oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >Still in talking phase >Lights flick on in the house >Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent "What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >Guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard" P2 □ Anonymous 03/24/11(Thu)17:48 No.14353245 File 1301003335.ipg-(76 KB, 737x583, 4.jpg) All three of them draw rapiers on their belts >Guys run know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >Stagger home completely drunk with a hat I have no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house □ Soth !!knPhGL26gr 02/27/11 (Sun)01:36 No. 14058930 231405 F------ EPIC □ Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:41 No.14058982 3>140 THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS □ Anonymous 03/24/11(Thu)17:57 No.14353317 14353245 H--------, this is still being posted? I figure I owe /tg/ a bit of an update on these guys Their leader, O he of one eye and little common sense, nearly had his visa revoked for these kinds of shenanigans. One too many arrests meant that his right to stay in the country was contested and he had to go to court to defend himself and prevent his visa from being revoked I was his ride to court, and had to testify to the board that he shouldn't be deported for lack of common sense or social normality His defense? A written speech, about three pages long, about the rights of man, the education he has received here, and the opportunities for a one-eyed machinist. The spirit of his crimes were all in defense of people who would otherwise suffer. For other witnesses, he had some of the random people he'd helped out, including one memorable point where a woman, nearly on the verge of tears pointed out how he'd taken on a guy threatening to r--- her and carrying a knife by whipping out a fencing saber, disarming him, and mocking him in his thick Swedish accent so that the girl could call the cops. Something like a dozen people all showed up, explaining how this dude, despite his eccentricities, made the country better. He was not deported, and lives here to this very day, stalking the streets in musketeer garb, rescuing drunks, and dispensing his own brand of justice
| Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:34 No. 14058910 >Walking home from party late one evening >Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >Catch me in some random college student neighborhood >Oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >Still in talking phase >Lights flick on in the house >Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent "What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >Guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard" P2 □ Anonymous 03/24/11(Thu)17:48 No.14353245 File 1301003335.ipg-(76 KB, 737x583, 4.jpg) All three of them draw rapiers on their belts >Guys run know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >Stagger home completely drunk with a hat I have no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house □ Soth !!knPhGL26gr 02/27/11 (Sun)01:36 No. 14058930 231405 F------ EPIC □ Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:41 No.14058982 3>140 THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS □ Anonymous 03/24/11(Thu)17:57 No.14353317 14353245 H--------, this is still being posted? I figure I owe /tg/ a bit of an update on these guys Their leader, O he of one eye and little common sense, nearly had his visa revoked for these kinds of shenanigans. One too many arrests meant that his right to stay in the country was contested and he had to go to court to defend himself and prevent his visa from being revoked I was his ride to court, and had to testify to the board that he shouldn't be deported for lack of common sense or social normality His defense? A written speech, about three pages long, about the rights of man, the education he has received here, and the opportunities for a one-eyed machinist. The spirit of his crimes were all in defense of people who would otherwise suffer. For other witnesses, he had some of the random people he'd helped out, including one memorable point where a woman, nearly on the verge of tears pointed out how he'd taken on a guy threatening to r--- her and carrying a knife by whipping out a fencing saber, disarming him, and mocking him in his thick Swedish accent so that the girl could call the cops. Something like a dozen people all showed up, explaining how this dude, despite his eccentricities, made the country better. He was not deported, and lives here to this very day, stalking the streets in musketeer garb, rescuing drunks, and dispensing his own brand of justice

Greentext Stories
musketeer court victory

SLO-mo dick whip

: Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)1 2:38:16 No.699741454 >>699735884 (OP) # get iPhone 5s >play with slow motion video >hit erect d--- on dresser >watched replay >f------ sweet thought gf would like to see. >video doesn't send in slow motion >normal paced video of me beating the f--- out of my dresser with my c---. >gf thinks I'm a psycho. >breaks up with me. >If it wasn't so funny, I would have cared. >>69974 1592# >>69974 1696 # >>69974 1789 # >>69974 1902 # >>699741980 #
: Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)1 2:38:16 No.699741454 >>699735884 (OP) # get iPhone 5s >play with slow motion video >hit erect d--- on dresser >watched replay >f------ sweet thought gf would like to see. >video doesn't send in slow motion >normal paced video of me beating the f--- out of my dresser with my c---. >gf thinks I'm a psycho. >breaks up with me. >If it wasn't so funny, I would have cared. >>69974 1592# >>69974 1696 # >>69974 1789 # >>69974 1902 # >>699741980 #

Greentext Stories
slow motion girlfriend

Blackbro

. File: 1395371377016g-(15 KB, 350x265, 3558329024 474352014 badp) Anonymous (ID. ALF1AXU) 03/21/14(Fri)03:09:37 UTC No 538216537 PTreveling to friends house for holideys. Tweve hours so lar, driving through the night PAI night, this littlo s--- about ten, hes boen screeming and acting up >Playing Pokemon on his 3DS, announces every afteck in hormble screeching voice, sound effects included Four hours in the batery dies bus has power ports so his Mom puts on charger >Kid uriggling sbout and btching beceuse the battery doesnt charge quickly enough to keep playing right ewey Goes up to several other people in the bus Give me your phone "I wan your geme Mosl people gnore him, some poltely say no. Ha tries to take them anyway Big black dude with iPad tels kid to ga sit down when kid tries to take >Mom not pleased: 거ey don't you dare speak to my son like that you ape You probably cant even use that property." >Back dude p-----, but obiously used to this s---. Also has prety proper accant, Fresh Prince s--- yPiease Ma'am, don't hold us responstie for彻lusing you' child when it was your pour lu gernentto believe your prom debe woukd pukuL 0g >Mom about to叩e, Blackbro smling" od trying to steel another lads PSP Bus driver tels everybody to calm dowm or they'l gel kicked off Kid sits back down, but stil bitches unti he ean play again Doesnt know how to pay the game, keeps geting ass kicked by computer Continugd AnonymouS D: ALF1AXld) 03/21/14(Fny3:20:51 UTC No. 538218309 Repss: 225313885 -Get a few hours of sleep, neck f----- all week from seats >BAM next morning, bus puls into smat shopping ilag >Kid wnke up an hour ago, usual s--- going an, evarybody visibly p----- al him and his Mam Pul ino gas station'shopping center -Everybody wandering around, getting breakfast FKd sust puling stuff off the shelves and stuffing his face with Loops around the slore, around and around >His Mom is just sitting by the coffee stand at the store entrance, reading her tny fuckoing novel at one pege every ben minutes He starts swearing with the full yocabulary of a angsty teenager, knocking stuf off stands and displays with his anms -Tes in the aisle next to the one he's n, neer the end >A few stray cens of vagetables are siting in the speace under the shef Continued. Anonymous (D: ALF1AXid) 03/21/14(Fry3:24:48 UTC No 539218980 Repiss: 2253312231) >Go for goks, lean down, slide can under shet and into next ask Drect hit, hts his left foot and sends him into half 려 cartwheel while stil mertainng forward momentum >F------ swoar, ho looks o a cartoon, comploboly horizontal airtma But then grevity ipg Hts floor, keeps going thanks to super polished les On look.a giant pyramid 며 some liquid snap Estra value, galon botles. Dis gon be good >Into the bese he goes, bottles craish doun around hm >Caos ay off, so steadily pudding around him Mommy dearest sees this, goes into ful sprnt If the soap didnt break anything, her body sliding inlo him wold -She is just stunned, while he's crying and trying to run away >3l sipping around, can't get footing >Slore ownars running to assist while all the passengers are laughing at the two stooges doing their prat fal act >Bleck dude drops cless act and goes al "Ehit homief" on me. As much as wo beggod for him to liavo, bus drhor rotusod to lesve witho a the kid and m >She emerges from the store, looloing like Shrek had bukkaked her 가kid has massive bruise along al the len side of his face trom her he hit the noor -She peels matted hair off her face s"I will find out which one of you did this to my darting, baby boy PiTT, not in a store without securay cameras bich Continusd Anonymous (ID: ALF1AXId) 03/21 14(F3.35.42 UTC No 533220593 Reps: 220321003 2I3221120 2211 221 231822 114 22516221040 >Back on the bus, rding a high from nearly slaughterng the antichrist. -Four hours left, and廿 en vve transfer onso another bus >Kid sha bitching, but this time about his entine body aching Shoud be annoying, but is just music to al of us He talls aseep the rest of te way, I get in some shuleye too atter a s--- nigh >Wake up as bus puls into some small s------- of a town -we all get ofr, some leave, some se and wait for the next bus Mom is very obviously p-----, sticky, tired, and sore After sitting there for half an hour, fuming silenthy You did this didn't you you savage >He calmly denies She's on a rant, pointing at people ike her finger can shoot bulets Few of the locals are hanging around -Sho isnt stupid enough to biatantly say anything raciest to Blaclhro, who is slit calm as fuok Back and forth, she yeis, he denies >Finaly, she says "Ive had it with you people Starts walking oway >Blacktro "What do you mean you people?" It was obvious to everybody she only meant the other passengers, but Blackbro just used the Niggermancers special trap card Stay tuned for the grand finish 凵 Anonymous (ID ALF1AXld) 03/21/14(Fri)03.43 24 UTC №53822 185 1 Repias 2253ZZ211122A8222122aRa She's had it S"I mean you f------ fithy, kid beating niggor! >On and on she goes、spoutng ngger enough to embarass Dave Chappelle >Aher a couple of minules she runs out of brealh and slows down Blacldoro Shouldn't havo said niggar lady on why, you gonns beat me too you f------ monkey?" Blackbro, "I'm not sSits hack, opens up newspeper and starts reating Mom just confused for a moment, but then turns around Fsmernber how E mentioned that al the kcas were black Three portly Shanayneys, doled up in slutty makeup, Take nals and leopard print Where yuu think you goin' honey? >Nigress Unit #1 swings into her ston ach, Mom bends over in par. >Ngress Uihg #2 comes in and kicks her in the left shin. ㎞ocking her foot off balance. >As she fel 9·Nigress Unit 3 comes forward and grabs her by her, edding to her inomentum >Facs lands squarely on Unit #3S giant tree trunk leg knee She's out, kid's erying, crowd begins to disperse PI buy Bleckbro lunch >Bus shows up just around the time the cops do, we all get on and book it as Mom comas to >She begins to n after the bus as starts, but realises te futility and turns back PLast we see of her is her scresming at her Rid I remember her mentioning the trip was about imporlant business, lol f--- her. I stil see Blackbro every time I close my eyes THE END (Have other stories if requested.)
. File: 1395371377016g-(15 KB, 350x265, 3558329024 474352014 badp) Anonymous (ID. ALF1AXU) 03/21/14(Fri)03:09:37 UTC No 538216537 PTreveling to friends house for holideys. Tweve hours so lar, driving through the night PAI night, this littlo s--- about ten, hes boen screeming and acting up >Playing Pokemon on his 3DS, announces every afteck in hormble screeching voice, sound effects included Four hours in the batery dies bus has power ports so his Mom puts on charger >Kid uriggling sbout and btching beceuse the battery doesnt charge quickly enough to keep playing right ewey Goes up to several other people in the bus Give me your phone "I wan your geme Mosl people gnore him, some poltely say no. Ha tries to take them anyway Big black dude with iPad tels kid to ga sit down when kid tries to take >Mom not pleased: 거ey don't you dare speak to my son like that you ape You probably cant even use that property." >Back dude p-----, but obiously used to this s---. Also has prety proper accant, Fresh Prince s--- yPiease Ma'am, don't hold us responstie for彻lusing you' child when it was your pour lu gernentto believe your prom debe woukd pukuL 0g >Mom about to叩e, Blackbro smling" od trying to steel another lads PSP Bus driver tels everybody to calm dowm or they'l gel kicked off Kid sits back down, but stil bitches unti he ean play again Doesnt know how to pay the game, keeps geting ass kicked by computer Continugd AnonymouS D: ALF1AXld) 03/21/14(Fny3:20:51 UTC No. 538218309 Repss: 225313885 -Get a few hours of sleep, neck f----- all week from seats >BAM next morning, bus puls into smat shopping ilag >Kid wnke up an hour ago, usual s--- going an, evarybody visibly p----- al him and his Mam Pul ino gas station'shopping center -Everybody wandering around, getting breakfast FKd sust puling stuff off the shelves and stuffing his face with Loops around the slore, around and around >His Mom is just sitting by the coffee stand at the store entrance, reading her tny fuckoing novel at one pege every ben minutes He starts swearing with the full yocabulary of a angsty teenager, knocking stuf off stands and displays with his anms -Tes in the aisle next to the one he's n, neer the end >A few stray cens of vagetables are siting in the speace under the shef Continued. Anonymous (D: ALF1AXid) 03/21/14(Fry3:24:48 UTC No 539218980 Repiss: 2253312231) >Go for goks, lean down, slide can under shet and into next ask Drect hit, hts his left foot and sends him into half 려 cartwheel while stil mertainng forward momentum >F------ swoar, ho looks o a cartoon, comploboly horizontal airtma But then grevity ipg Hts floor, keeps going thanks to super polished les On look.a giant pyramid 며 some liquid snap Estra value, galon botles. Dis gon be good >Into the bese he goes, bottles craish doun around hm >Caos ay off, so steadily pudding around him Mommy dearest sees this, goes into ful sprnt If the soap didnt break anything, her body sliding inlo him wold -She is just stunned, while he's crying and trying to run away >3l sipping around, can't get footing >Slore ownars running to assist while all the passengers are laughing at the two stooges doing their prat fal act >Bleck dude drops cless act and goes al "Ehit homief" on me. As much as wo beggod for him to liavo, bus drhor rotusod to lesve witho a the kid and m >She emerges from the store, looloing like Shrek had bukkaked her 가kid has massive bruise along al the len side of his face trom her he hit the noor -She peels matted hair off her face s"I will find out which one of you did this to my darting, baby boy PiTT, not in a store without securay cameras bich Continusd Anonymous (ID: ALF1AXId) 03/21 14(F3.35.42 UTC No 533220593 Reps: 220321003 2I3221120 2211 221 231822 114 22516221040 >Back on the bus, rding a high from nearly slaughterng the antichrist. -Four hours left, and廿 en vve transfer onso another bus >Kid sha bitching, but this time about his entine body aching Shoud be annoying, but is just music to al of us He talls aseep the rest of te way, I get in some shuleye too atter a s--- nigh >Wake up as bus puls into some small s------- of a town -we all get ofr, some leave, some se and wait for the next bus Mom is very obviously p-----, sticky, tired, and sore After sitting there for half an hour, fuming silenthy You did this didn't you you savage >He calmly denies She's on a rant, pointing at people ike her finger can shoot bulets Few of the locals are hanging around -Sho isnt stupid enough to biatantly say anything raciest to Blaclhro, who is slit calm as fuok Back and forth, she yeis, he denies >Finaly, she says "Ive had it with you people Starts walking oway >Blacktro "What do you mean you people?" It was obvious to everybody she only meant the other passengers, but Blackbro just used the Niggermancers special trap card Stay tuned for the grand finish 凵 Anonymous (ID ALF1AXld) 03/21/14(Fri)03.43 24 UTC №53822 185 1 Repias 2253ZZ211122A8222122aRa She's had it S"I mean you f------ fithy, kid beating niggor! >On and on she goes、spoutng ngger enough to embarass Dave Chappelle >Aher a couple of minules she runs out of brealh and slows down Blacldoro Shouldn't havo said niggar lady on why, you gonns beat me too you f------ monkey?" Blackbro, "I'm not sSits hack, opens up newspeper and starts reating Mom just confused for a moment, but then turns around Fsmernber how E mentioned that al the kcas were black Three portly Shanayneys, doled up in slutty makeup, Take nals and leopard print Where yuu think you goin' honey? >Nigress Unit #1 swings into her ston ach, Mom bends over in par. >Ngress Uihg #2 comes in and kicks her in the left shin. ㎞ocking her foot off balance. >As she fel 9·Nigress Unit 3 comes forward and grabs her by her, edding to her inomentum >Facs lands squarely on Unit #3S giant tree trunk leg knee She's out, kid's erying, crowd begins to disperse PI buy Bleckbro lunch >Bus shows up just around the time the cops do, we all get on and book it as Mom comas to >She begins to n after the bus as starts, but realises te futility and turns back PLast we see of her is her scresming at her Rid I remember her mentioning the trip was about imporlant business, lol f--- her. I stil see Blackbro every time I close my eyes THE END (Have other stories if requested.)

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blackbro bro bus black racist whuppin

Everything went better than expected.

File: 1334797055.ipa-(33 KB, 500x500, 1330853175379jpg) □ Anonymous (ID: by9VNsb) 04/18/12(Wed)20:57:35 No.39431 0219 Cool black people stories 2 >be at friends house, he's black sturns out he has like 4 other black friends over swe all joke around, having a good time sdrinking some mtdew in a cup all of the sudden i get too worked up sthe word n----- slips out of my mouth room is dead f------ silent sbegin to sweat, looking around nervously oh s--- oh f--- sfriend looks at me thuh f--- dju just say, bitch? >serious face, he looks p----- NGSER Whoah, dude. Sorry. S---. him and his friends get super f------ scary and serious friend turns to this HUGE n---- friend behind him yo man, ice dis n----. she starts walking towards me >im scared shitless she comes real close to me leans down in my face >puts ice in my mt dew sentire house echoes with n----- laughter now that I think about it, it was pretty goddamn funny
File: 1334797055.ipa-(33 KB, 500x500, 1330853175379jpg) □ Anonymous (ID: by9VNsb) 04/18/12(Wed)20:57:35 No.39431 0219 Cool black people stories 2 >be at friends house, he's black sturns out he has like 4 other black friends over swe all joke around, having a good time sdrinking some mtdew in a cup all of the sudden i get too worked up sthe word n----- slips out of my mouth room is dead f------ silent sbegin to sweat, looking around nervously oh s--- oh f--- sfriend looks at me thuh f--- dju just say, bitch? >serious face, he looks p----- NGSER Whoah, dude. Sorry. S---. him and his friends get super f------ scary and serious friend turns to this HUGE n---- friend behind him yo man, ice dis n----. she starts walking towards me >im scared shitless she comes real close to me leans down in my face >puts ice in my mt dew sentire house echoes with n----- laughter now that I think about it, it was pretty goddamn funny

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4chan black people reversal plot twist disappointed black guy

Brotier Serial Killer

File: 1378910856815.ipg-(57 KB, 500x333, 20100624iberico-badtop.jpg) □ Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)10:47:36 No.505455 154 Replies: >>505456254 >>505457040 >2505457 How about a True but Funny thread? Here is my story >turned 20 >go out to celebrate my birthday >having the time of my life drunk >suddenly >get kidnapped >wake up in basement >hungry as f--- >guy with green masks come >"dude do you have some food? im starving to death" >he looks at me >im kinda scared, but really hungry too >"Please man, im dying of hunger here" > "Oh yeah.. what do you want?" with an calm but scary voice >"idk, do you have beef jerky or something?" >he turns around >ishelaughing jpg >"hey man, why are you laughing?" she turns around >"stay still, ill be right back" >less afraid and more hungry >ithinkimgonnadieofhunger >he comes back A M------------ BEEF JERKY SANDWICH >eat the s--- out of it >say "Thanks bro" >He kinda looks at me like a dog with armes crossed >start getting scared again, know im gonna die >say "atleast now, i can die in peace" >dude brakes the s--- and starts crying of laughter >unties me from chair >hits me in the head with a shovel while laughing >wake up in a motel >go home >26 now, never seen him agairn >never reported it either mfw, almost got killed , guy was brotier
File: 1378910856815.ipg-(57 KB, 500x333, 20100624iberico-badtop.jpg) □ Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)10:47:36 No.505455 154 Replies: >>505456254 >>505457040 >2505457 How about a True but Funny thread? Here is my story >turned 20 >go out to celebrate my birthday >having the time of my life drunk >suddenly >get kidnapped >wake up in basement >hungry as f--- >guy with green masks come >"dude do you have some food? im starving to death" >he looks at me >im kinda scared, but really hungry too >"Please man, im dying of hunger here" > "Oh yeah.. what do you want?" with an calm but scary voice >"idk, do you have beef jerky or something?" >he turns around >ishelaughing jpg >"hey man, why are you laughing?" she turns around >"stay still, ill be right back" >less afraid and more hungry >ithinkimgonnadieofhunger >he comes back A M------------ BEEF JERKY SANDWICH >eat the s--- out of it >say "Thanks bro" >He kinda looks at me like a dog with armes crossed >start getting scared again, know im gonna die >say "atleast now, i can die in peace" >dude brakes the s--- and starts crying of laughter >unties me from chair >hits me in the head with a shovel while laughing >wake up in a motel >go home >26 now, never seen him agairn >never reported it either mfw, almost got killed , guy was brotier

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brotier kidnap shovel beef jerky killer

Corrupted Save

04/29/13(Mon)12:45 No. 187606013 Anonymous File: (3 KB, 126x126, 1271706413287.jpg) >>187605330 Some friends are having a birthday for one of their younger brothers >They have a gamecube permanently turned on with pretty much everything unlocked in Smash Bros but no memory card (they were a bit poor) >l got him a memory card for his present >When no one is watching, save the Smash data >Little later, nonchalantly ask what's up with the gamecube, my hand is on the power button >Friend and his little brothers freak out as I turn it off >Smallest one is crying "just kidding, happy birthday!" >Plug in the memory card and turn it back on >Save file corrupted Replies >187606189 >>187606194>187606297 >>187606380 >187606458 187606547 >s18760676 187609460 633187607212 187609156 3187609419
04/29/13(Mon)12:45 No. 187606013 Anonymous File: (3 KB, 126x126, 1271706413287.jpg) >>187605330 Some friends are having a birthday for one of their younger brothers >They have a gamecube permanently turned on with pretty much everything unlocked in Smash Bros but no memory card (they were a bit poor) >l got him a memory card for his present >When no one is watching, save the Smash data >Little later, nonchalantly ask what's up with the gamecube, my hand is on the power button >Friend and his little brothers freak out as I turn it off >Smallest one is crying "just kidding, happy birthday!" >Plug in the memory card and turn it back on >Save file corrupted Replies >187606189 >>187606194>187606297 >>187606380 >187606458 187606547 >s18760676 187609460 633187607212 187609156 3187609419

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gamecube smash bros save file

Loop Zoop

2235574459 # reminds me get wisdom teeth removed >go home high as s--- get on the computer go to youtube really want to listen to Led Zeppelin ( don't even listen to them regularly) >keep typing in Led Zeppelin but nothing Led Zeppelin-related is coming up get mad >go to bed >sleep for like 12 hours. >wake up >go to delete my browsing history like I usually do "loop zoop" searched on youtube 25 times >I thought I was typing in "Led Zeppelin'"
2235574459 # reminds me get wisdom teeth removed >go home high as s--- get on the computer go to youtube really want to listen to Led Zeppelin ( don't even listen to them regularly) >keep typing in Led Zeppelin but nothing Led Zeppelin-related is coming up get mad >go to bed >sleep for like 12 hours. >wake up >go to delete my browsing history like I usually do "loop zoop" searched on youtube 25 times >I thought I was typing in "Led Zeppelin'"

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led zeppelin drugs high

When ur family gets on the chan

peer IIN4gGF77dRzD Wed Dec 18 14:00:50 2013 No.9938127 File: 11 KB, 250x100, 1387396850189.gif View same] [google] Quoted by: >9940029 >>9940053 >>9949163 >>9938151>9938175>>99381 93 >>9938216>>9938231>>9938261>>9938442 >>9938790>>9939365>9939400 smom knows I browse imageboards >start telling her about my day at school >she starts yelling "SAGE! SAGEr" sask her to please stop >she asks me why i am mad >tell her i'm not mad >she tells me i'm colon crusaded >just continue with my story >she keeps yelling "SAGE! SAGE! OP IS A F-----! DIDNT READI >my sister joins in my sister starts yelling "DESU DESU DESU DESu" >my dog walks into the room and starts howling >my mom reports him to my dad for derailing the thread smy dad puts the dog outside smy mom yells outside to the dog "ENJOY UR BAN F-----
peer IIN4gGF77dRzD Wed Dec 18 14:00:50 2013 No.9938127 File: 11 KB, 250x100, 1387396850189.gif View same] [google] Quoted by: >9940029 >>9940053 >>9949163 >>9938151>9938175>>99381 93 >>9938216>>9938231>>9938261>>9938442 >>9938790>>9939365>9939400 smom knows I browse imageboards >start telling her about my day at school >she starts yelling "SAGE! SAGEr" sask her to please stop >she asks me why i am mad >tell her i'm not mad >she tells me i'm colon crusaded >just continue with my story >she keeps yelling "SAGE! SAGE! OP IS A F-----! DIDNT READI >my sister joins in my sister starts yelling "DESU DESU DESU DESu" >my dog walks into the room and starts howling >my mom reports him to my dad for derailing the thread smy dad puts the dog outside smy mom yells outside to the dog "ENJOY UR BAN F-----

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family 4chan troll

Remember Jeff

Anonymous 03/31/12(Sat)00:19 No. 185218580D >Be 17 >Be 2005 >Be getting wisdom teeth removed >Waking up from anesthetic >Just laying on the dentists chair trying to sleep >Mom arrives, "Come on, Anon, it's time to go." >Mom and nurse have my arms over each of their shoulders and are carrying me out the back of the dentists office >As we pass under a fan I think it's the sound of chopper rotors >Ask nurse, "Is Jeff alright? I didn't see him after the ambush." >Nurse WATs hard >Grab nurse by both lapels >"WHERE THE F--- IS JEFF!" >She looks at my mom with confusion, "Jeff isn't here." >Begin crying, "OH F---, THEY F------ GOT JEFF, THOSE M------------!" >Mom and nurse carry a weeping 17 year old out the back of a dentist's office while he has flashbacks to a war he never fought in about a man he never knew I still am confused about what the hell I was thinking.
Anonymous 03/31/12(Sat)00:19 No. 185218580D >Be 17 >Be 2005 >Be getting wisdom teeth removed >Waking up from anesthetic >Just laying on the dentists chair trying to sleep >Mom arrives, "Come on, Anon, it's time to go." >Mom and nurse have my arms over each of their shoulders and are carrying me out the back of the dentists office >As we pass under a fan I think it's the sound of chopper rotors >Ask nurse, "Is Jeff alright? I didn't see him after the ambush." >Nurse WATs hard >Grab nurse by both lapels >"WHERE THE F--- IS JEFF!" >She looks at my mom with confusion, "Jeff isn't here." >Begin crying, "OH F---, THEY F------ GOT JEFF, THOSE M------------!" >Mom and nurse carry a weeping 17 year old out the back of a dentist's office while he has flashbacks to a war he never fought in about a man he never knew I still am confused about what the hell I was thinking.

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jeff vietnam dentist wisdom teeth

Ballmaster

06/30/14(Mon)05:16:13 No.553960047 >At doctors >Getting my nuggets felt up because I had a pain >Female doctor Turns out fine, just epidydimitis >For some reason whenever I go to the docs I always feel I have to look smart >Throwing off medical jargon and referencing obscure bits of anatomy >S--- I must look hella booklearned >She says "Oh I suppose you were worried and did some of your own research" >Realize that if I admit to that I'm simultaneously admitting to being a little bitch and that all my knowledge was ad- hoc and wikipedia acquired >Say "No, I just know a lot about balls" >Cant remember what happened after that because my soul evacuated my body
06/30/14(Mon)05:16:13 No.553960047 >At doctors >Getting my nuggets felt up because I had a pain >Female doctor Turns out fine, just epidydimitis >For some reason whenever I go to the docs I always feel I have to look smart >Throwing off medical jargon and referencing obscure bits of anatomy >S--- I must look hella booklearned >She says "Oh I suppose you were worried and did some of your own research" >Realize that if I admit to that I'm simultaneously admitting to being a little bitch and that all my knowledge was ad- hoc and wikipedia acquired >Say "No, I just know a lot about balls" >Cant remember what happened after that because my soul evacuated my body

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balls doctor awkward

Jumporn

File: sca-pictures ipg (15 KB, 480x360) Anonymous 10/21/16(Fri)09:05:25 No.708732231708732261 horror of pon! anything includes scary things about p---! i'll start Anonymous 10/21/16(Fri)09:05:54 No. 708732261 File: scary-m 2-708732383 (19 KB, 348x256) >be me few years back >bored as s--- >hava an awesome idea, you know the maze-game up? immatrollafriend exe B60 at which if you touch the wall a scary image pops >download some HD top quality p--- with lesbians and double BJs >movie editor! OPENUP sinsert image (pic related) into middle of a nice scene >save it and upload to a few pornsites >start chatting with an a------ from my class "And what kind of p--- do you like anon >this is it send him a link to my "trap-video" >he keeps typing thats some good s--- anon >sleepy as f--- so go to sleep ?" next day >he doesn't show up in school >w--.jpg >teacher assigns me to visit him and give him the homework hismom answers the door hello mom of anon! is anon at home? i get his homework" "im sorry sweety, anon is in hospital" WHAT THE F---.GIF "hmm what happened to him?" >looks like the f----- was jerking furiously to my video and when the bitchface showed up he tore off his d--- and in hospital sa guy died of hearth attack a few months later on the same video >mfw i never get caught because no one will admit that they watched p--- how was your day /pol/? Anonymous 10/21/16(Fri)09:07:24 No.708732383 >MFW MFW the video is still out there somewhere lurking for prey
File: sca-pictures ipg (15 KB, 480x360) Anonymous 10/21/16(Fri)09:05:25 No.708732231708732261 horror of pon! anything includes scary things about p---! i'll start Anonymous 10/21/16(Fri)09:05:54 No. 708732261 File: scary-m 2-708732383 (19 KB, 348x256) >be me few years back >bored as s--- >hava an awesome idea, you know the maze-game up? immatrollafriend exe B60 at which if you touch the wall a scary image pops >download some HD top quality p--- with lesbians and double BJs >movie editor! OPENUP sinsert image (pic related) into middle of a nice scene >save it and upload to a few pornsites >start chatting with an a------ from my class "And what kind of p--- do you like anon >this is it send him a link to my "trap-video" >he keeps typing thats some good s--- anon >sleepy as f--- so go to sleep ?" next day >he doesn't show up in school >w--.jpg >teacher assigns me to visit him and give him the homework hismom answers the door hello mom of anon! is anon at home? i get his homework" "im sorry sweety, anon is in hospital" WHAT THE F---.GIF "hmm what happened to him?" >looks like the f----- was jerking furiously to my video and when the bitchface showed up he tore off his d--- and in hospital sa guy died of hearth attack a few months later on the same video >mfw i never get caught because no one will admit that they watched p--- how was your day /pol/? Anonymous 10/21/16(Fri)09:07:24 No.708732383 >MFW MFW the video is still out there somewhere lurking for prey

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scare jump heart attack