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Anon loves his job | /r/Greentext

1371699668470.jpg-(162 KB, 334x500, Dentist. jpg) O Anonymous (ID: sWAbibLL) 06/19/13(Wed)20:54:28 No.488061614 Replies: >488062059 = >Get dentist certification >F--- yes step one of dream complete >Get a job >Step two complete >Start out with only several clients a day >Then bumped up to 50 clients a day >This continues on for the next a few years >Become good friends with all of the other staff >Tell the senior dentist guy that the work I'm daing is becoming boring and feels meaningless >He says he's gonna tell me a secret >Put something in their mouth and then start asking them questions >I tell him that's a d--- move >He smiles and says he knows >l try it >Holy f--- I'm addicted >l love my job >Step three complete I can die a happy man now
1371699668470.jpg-(162 KB, 334x500, Dentist. jpg) O Anonymous (ID: sWAbibLL) 06/19/13(Wed)20:54:28 No.488061614 Replies: >488062059 = >Get dentist certification >F--- yes step one of dream complete >Get a job >Step two complete >Start out with only several clients a day >Then bumped up to 50 clients a day >This continues on for the next a few years >Become good friends with all of the other staff >Tell the senior dentist guy that the work I'm daing is becoming boring and feels meaningless >He says he's gonna tell me a secret >Put something in their mouth and then start asking them questions >I tell him that's a d--- move >He smiles and says he knows >l try it >Holy f--- I'm addicted >l love my job >Step three complete I can die a happy man now

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Anon is sick of good boys | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/02/19(Wed)08:14:43 No.788894136 >be me >demi-chad >decent body but personality of an autistic shoebox >can't talk to women because of it 81 KB JPG >be going to gym as per the usual before work >arrive at gym >"wow there's a lot of cars here" >go inside >ohmyfuck.jpg >400lbs tendie lords all over the f------ place >clogging every treadmill >clogging every weight bench >at least 12 of them just sitting in locker room drinking Gatorade and protein shakes >whatever >go to front of gym to use dumbbells >as I finish doing curls I here a loud >CRACK >turn and see a human shrek hit the floor with the force of 10,000 double d back t--- >run over to help him off the floor and out of the wreckage of the Bench >f--- this I'm out >go get dressed for work and on my way out >see the receptionist beset upon by at least 14 of these goodboys I f------ hate the January.
: Anonymous 01/02/19(Wed)08:14:43 No.788894136 >be me >demi-chad >decent body but personality of an autistic shoebox >can't talk to women because of it 81 KB JPG >be going to gym as per the usual before work >arrive at gym >"wow there's a lot of cars here" >go inside >ohmyfuck.jpg >400lbs tendie lords all over the f------ place >clogging every treadmill >clogging every weight bench >at least 12 of them just sitting in locker room drinking Gatorade and protein shakes >whatever >go to front of gym to use dumbbells >as I finish doing curls I here a loud >CRACK >turn and see a human shrek hit the floor with the force of 10,000 double d back t--- >run over to help him off the floor and out of the wreckage of the Bench >f--- this I'm out >go get dressed for work and on my way out >see the receptionist beset upon by at least 14 of these goodboys I f------ hate the January.

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Anon gets an iPhone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)12:13:36 No.845151607 Oh God >in highschool >get first iPhone the iPhone 2 >begged parents for it >finally gave in >gf sends me nudes a lot >get idea >ask her to send pic with her t--- out Oh F--- 43 KB JPG and mouth open >plan to j--- all over my phone screen like she's actually there >she sends it >start jerking >end up c------ buckets on the phone >phone starts freaking out >image on screen going all over the place >suddenly phone shuts off >wipe it off best I can >oh f--- oh s--- >phone won't turn back on >read online to put it in rice >works for water doesn't work for c-- >tell parents my phone just shut off >take it to the store >they end up giving me another iPhone 2 while they plan to send that one back to the manufacturer >some poor bastard had to clean my c-- phone >another poor bastard had to have bought that phone after it was refurbished
: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)12:13:36 No.845151607 Oh God >in highschool >get first iPhone the iPhone 2 >begged parents for it >finally gave in >gf sends me nudes a lot >get idea >ask her to send pic with her t--- out Oh F--- 43 KB JPG and mouth open >plan to j--- all over my phone screen like she's actually there >she sends it >start jerking >end up c------ buckets on the phone >phone starts freaking out >image on screen going all over the place >suddenly phone shuts off >wipe it off best I can >oh f--- oh s--- >phone won't turn back on >read online to put it in rice >works for water doesn't work for c-- >tell parents my phone just shut off >take it to the store >they end up giving me another iPhone 2 while they plan to send that one back to the manufacturer >some poor bastard had to clean my c-- phone >another poor bastard had to have bought that phone after it was refurbished

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Anon has a family | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)18:25:04 No.23455672 >Friday night nothing to do >decide to drive around >put on my best suit >style my hair nice >go to the Mcdonalds drive through >hold my phone up to my ear >a second before the lady asks for 31 KB JPG my order I pretend to have a conversation with my imaginary wife on my cell phone >place an order large enough for a nuclear family so as to not blow my cover >as I wait for the food at the next window, I talk to my imaginary wife on the phone about my day >the lady comes with the food as im telling my imaginary son that I love him and ill be home soon with nuggets >"love you too slugger, daddy'lIl be home soon" >take food, buy beer, get piss drunk by myself and eat half the food I bought, wasting the rest
: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)18:25:04 No.23455672 >Friday night nothing to do >decide to drive around >put on my best suit >style my hair nice >go to the Mcdonalds drive through >hold my phone up to my ear >a second before the lady asks for 31 KB JPG my order I pretend to have a conversation with my imaginary wife on my cell phone >place an order large enough for a nuclear family so as to not blow my cover >as I wait for the food at the next window, I talk to my imaginary wife on the phone about my day >the lady comes with the food as im telling my imaginary son that I love him and ill be home soon with nuggets >"love you too slugger, daddy'lIl be home soon" >take food, buy beer, get piss drunk by myself and eat half the food I bought, wasting the rest

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Anon cares about the climate | /r/Greentext

>>51233115 (OP) # >be at the store >go to the bathroom >hear some normie pooping when I walk in but things get all quiet (he Pepe packs a purch 6 KB PNG was probably nervous) >pee and wash my hands >turn off the lights on my way out
>>51233115 (OP) # >be at the store >go to the bathroom >hear some normie pooping when I walk in but things get all quiet (he Pepe packs a purch 6 KB PNG was probably nervous) >pee and wash my hands >turn off the lights on my way out

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Anon finds a frog squatter | /r/Greentext

No.738861551 07/14/17(Fri)19:05:19 mcgrbr.gif GIF 1.9 MİB 290x162 I got a story about this >be 12 >6th grade >really need to piss >excuse myself from band class >rush to bathroom >lt's all the way on the other side of the school >discreetly holding my d--- closed as I do >arrive >decide to kick down stall door like l'm in the movies >it's f------ occupied >kid s------- frog-style with both feet on the toilet seat >watch his turd quickly retract into his rectum like a scared turtle >the scare causes me to piss myself >mfw
No.738861551 07/14/17(Fri)19:05:19 mcgrbr.gif GIF 1.9 MİB 290x162 I got a story about this >be 12 >6th grade >really need to piss >excuse myself from band class >rush to bathroom >lt's all the way on the other side of the school >discreetly holding my d--- closed as I do >arrive >decide to kick down stall door like l'm in the movies >it's f------ occupied >kid s------- frog-style with both feet on the toilet seat >watch his turd quickly retract into his rectum like a scared turtle >the scare causes me to piss myself >mfw

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anon has a shitty monday | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)05:26:51 No.845125613 >at work >put hand down pants to scratch a------ >feel something mushy >pull hand back up >butterfingers.exe 40 KB JPG >coworker sees this >look him in the eyes >wipe the s--- from fingers onto his white polo shirt >leave breakroom Already a s--- Monday and i just got here.
: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)05:26:51 No.845125613 >at work >put hand down pants to scratch a------ >feel something mushy >pull hand back up >butterfingers.exe 40 KB JPG >coworker sees this >look him in the eyes >wipe the s--- from fingers onto his white polo shirt >leave breakroom Already a s--- Monday and i just got here.

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Anon is still a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)13:05:31 No.845143775 ITT : high school cringe stories and experiences i'll start >be me, 17 >slightly overweight, 6'2, greasy hair virgin >am friends with a few girls but never had 65 KB JPG GF >decide to ask this one girl i've known since middle school out to homecoming >WorstSheCanSaylsNo.mp4 >"eww, i'd rather not" i haven't tried since then, 21, still virgin
: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)13:05:31 No.845143775 ITT : high school cringe stories and experiences i'll start >be me, 17 >slightly overweight, 6'2, greasy hair virgin >am friends with a few girls but never had 65 KB JPG GF >decide to ask this one girl i've known since middle school out to homecoming >WorstSheCanSaylsNo.mp4 >"eww, i'd rather not" i haven't tried since then, 21, still virgin

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Anon lives in a small town | /r/Greentext


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Anon yelling | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a question. | /r/Greentext


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Anon values privacy | /r/Greentext


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Anon isn’t himself today | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)01:40:57 No.61909473 >be me >no thats getting boring this time im not me 52 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)01:40:57 No.61909473 >be me >no thats getting boring this time im not me 52 KB JPG

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Anon describes trump | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)08:34:55 No.845115611 >>845111199 (OP) # >Are your feefees still hurt? You know why? You're a spineless cumgargler who's never done one bit of good, solid, physical work in your life. Your hands are soft, like those of a child. And the term "safe space" is something you actually use. And need. Because words hurt your f------ feelings. This perfectly describes Trump
: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)08:34:55 No.845115611 >>845111199 (OP) # >Are your feefees still hurt? You know why? You're a spineless cumgargler who's never done one bit of good, solid, physical work in your life. Your hands are soft, like those of a child. And the term "safe space" is something you actually use. And need. Because words hurt your f------ feelings. This perfectly describes Trump

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Anon does a vroom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/09/19(Mon)22:27:11 Ne >carrying plates >hold a plate like a driving wheel >VROOM VROOM >people see me >some join me, one even honks 83 KB JPG gyms are truly magical.
: Anonymous 12/09/19(Mon)22:27:11 Ne >carrying plates >hold a plate like a driving wheel >VROOM VROOM >people see me >some join me, one even honks 83 KB JPG gyms are truly magical.

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Anon meets a nice woman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What's the saddest thing that ...) 01/18/21(Mon)06:34:10 No.61916876 >be in college, look like a 12-14 year old and are short, chubby, and an overall autistic >go to a noodles and company in the city close to campus >do everything normal and sit down at table with food but there's a decently 19 KB JPG attractive middle aged woman close by >she catches my attention by looking at me multiple times with a smile on her face >introduces herself and starts conversation, despite me being a sperg it goes by very smooth and natural >she's starts flirting and i accept it and continue >invites me to spend the evening at her place pretty far away, can't even drive, gives me her phone number >say yes because f--- it, don't expect sex because it's me, basically gambling on getting robbed or killed but it's an adventure >show up at her place and start watching a movie while having an arm around her shoulder >10 minutes in she starts to cry super hard and saying she's sorry >the reason why she talked to me was because i looked incredibly similar to her teenage son who got killed >she probably wanted to bond with her lost son again >hug and hold her head against my chest as she cried for about 45 minutes >leave after a little while, never hear from her ever again
: Anonymous What's the saddest thing that ...) 01/18/21(Mon)06:34:10 No.61916876 >be in college, look like a 12-14 year old and are short, chubby, and an overall autistic >go to a noodles and company in the city close to campus >do everything normal and sit down at table with food but there's a decently 19 KB JPG attractive middle aged woman close by >she catches my attention by looking at me multiple times with a smile on her face >introduces herself and starts conversation, despite me being a sperg it goes by very smooth and natural >she's starts flirting and i accept it and continue >invites me to spend the evening at her place pretty far away, can't even drive, gives me her phone number >say yes because f--- it, don't expect sex because it's me, basically gambling on getting robbed or killed but it's an adventure >show up at her place and start watching a movie while having an arm around her shoulder >10 minutes in she starts to cry super hard and saying she's sorry >the reason why she talked to me was because i looked incredibly similar to her teenage son who got killed >she probably wanted to bond with her lost son again >hug and hold her head against my chest as she cried for about 45 minutes >leave after a little while, never hear from her ever again

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Anon stays still | /r/Greentext


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Anon impresses a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/07/17(Wed)22:27:04 No.37570730 >really hot girl in class >decide to work up the courage to speak to her >"H-hey.. c-can I borrow your pen for a second?" >she hands me her pen 24 KB JPG >realize I dont even have paper to write on >shes staring at me >My mind is racing what to do >Draw a penis on my hand >give her back her pen and walk away imgflip.com
: Anonymous 06/07/17(Wed)22:27:04 No.37570730 >really hot girl in class >decide to work up the courage to speak to her >"H-hey.. c-can I borrow your pen for a second?" >she hands me her pen 24 KB JPG >realize I dont even have paper to write on >shes staring at me >My mind is racing what to do >Draw a penis on my hand >give her back her pen and walk away imgflip.com

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Anon does Cosplay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)13:50:54 No.61904889 >be 18 >cosplaying Jotaro from JoJo >a few girls are excited to see me >one fat Hetalia cosplayer follows me around >start going back to hotel room >notice her following me >tell her to go away >she proceeds to stick her hamburger sized hands down my pants >jerks me off until I c-- >didn't fight back because it felt kind of good >c-- inside pants and on her hand >she licks her hand, smiles, and says "Thanks Jotaro- sama-" >runs off >proceed to puke from shame >shower off the guilt >miss a panel with Bruce Campbell because I was in the shower F------ cons, I missed Bruce Campbell and ruined my pants.
Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)13:50:54 No.61904889 >be 18 >cosplaying Jotaro from JoJo >a few girls are excited to see me >one fat Hetalia cosplayer follows me around >start going back to hotel room >notice her following me >tell her to go away >she proceeds to stick her hamburger sized hands down my pants >jerks me off until I c-- >didn't fight back because it felt kind of good >c-- inside pants and on her hand >she licks her hand, smiles, and says "Thanks Jotaro- sama-" >runs off >proceed to puke from shame >shower off the guilt >miss a panel with Bruce Campbell because I was in the shower F------ cons, I missed Bruce Campbell and ruined my pants.

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Anon witnesses a tard event | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/31/13(Thu)19:11:53 No.513691304 I witnessed the most horrific Tard event. >Be in school >walking down crowded corridor 214 KB PNG >Spot tard holding sandwich >This tard is known for flipping out violently and a wrangler is nowhere to be seen. >Suddenly, amongst the crowd, someone bumps into the tard and knocks his sandwich out his hand. >A slice of ham lands on some quiet kid who is by his locker >ohgodno.avi >Like the horns of Jericho, the tard lets out noise that could bring down the walls of a fortress >He leaps on the quiet kid and tackles him to the ground, eyes glazed over in feral rage >ohshitnigger.jpg >The tard sinks his teeth into this kid's upper thigh, but somehow still roaring >little did I know, thta the quiet kid was suffering from PTSD from a violent dog attack >He flips his s--- and unleashes an epic 45-hit fist combo into the tards face >As the punches keep landing, the tard's face is slowly becoming mushier and redder >The tard increases his bite strengh and his growl grows louder >The quiet kid is now bawling his eyes out but he doesn't cease his furious punching >Blood is beginning to be splattered about the hall from the tard's face >the bite mark is now flowing freely with blood as well >like lightning, the quiet kid grabs the tard's forehead with one hand and right hooks him in the jaw with the other. >audiblecrack.mp3 >the tard flops off the kid and begins writing on the floor, smearing blood and saliva everywhere >the quiet kid looks at his bloodsoaked fists, pukes and passes out (probably from the pain of the bite) >MFW he broke a tard's jaw to free himself >MFW the hallway looks like the f------ somme >MFW at least 10 kids had to have counselling after seeing this Also, Tard stories general.
Anonymous 10/31/13(Thu)19:11:53 No.513691304 I witnessed the most horrific Tard event. >Be in school >walking down crowded corridor 214 KB PNG >Spot tard holding sandwich >This tard is known for flipping out violently and a wrangler is nowhere to be seen. >Suddenly, amongst the crowd, someone bumps into the tard and knocks his sandwich out his hand. >A slice of ham lands on some quiet kid who is by his locker >ohgodno.avi >Like the horns of Jericho, the tard lets out noise that could bring down the walls of a fortress >He leaps on the quiet kid and tackles him to the ground, eyes glazed over in feral rage >ohshitnigger.jpg >The tard sinks his teeth into this kid's upper thigh, but somehow still roaring >little did I know, thta the quiet kid was suffering from PTSD from a violent dog attack >He flips his s--- and unleashes an epic 45-hit fist combo into the tards face >As the punches keep landing, the tard's face is slowly becoming mushier and redder >The tard increases his bite strengh and his growl grows louder >The quiet kid is now bawling his eyes out but he doesn't cease his furious punching >Blood is beginning to be splattered about the hall from the tard's face >the bite mark is now flowing freely with blood as well >like lightning, the quiet kid grabs the tard's forehead with one hand and right hooks him in the jaw with the other. >audiblecrack.mp3 >the tard flops off the kid and begins writing on the floor, smearing blood and saliva everywhere >the quiet kid looks at his bloodsoaked fists, pukes and passes out (probably from the pain of the bite) >MFW he broke a tard's jaw to free himself >MFW the hallway looks like the f------ somme >MFW at least 10 kids had to have counselling after seeing this Also, Tard stories general.

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