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anon tries to cheer up his gf | /r/Greentext


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Anon loses his job again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/21(Tue)12:47:52 No.845233861 > Join Minecraft realm about 2 months ago > Play everyday day, just a little bit > Lost my job during the pandemic, so I sort of treat Minecraft like a little job > Farm, mine, everything you would normally do in Minecraft. > Even dug a giant hole in the ground for s---- and giggles. 19 KB JPG > Log in yesterday to play again > Banned. > Went to check the discord, banned from that too. What did I even do?
: Anonymous 01/19/21(Tue)12:47:52 No.845233861 > Join Minecraft realm about 2 months ago > Play everyday day, just a little bit > Lost my job during the pandemic, so I sort of treat Minecraft like a little job > Farm, mine, everything you would normally do in Minecraft. > Even dug a giant hole in the ground for s---- and giggles. 19 KB JPG > Log in yesterday to play again > Banned. > Went to check the discord, banned from that too. What did I even do?

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Anon's life has twists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/19(Fri)00:05:26 No.50360959 >Be 12 in middle school >Love at first sight >High school comes, never made a move >She goes off to Uni >Never see her again 12 KB JPG 2018 >Ве 29 >Her mom comes into the urgent care I work at. She talks about her daughters wedding the up coming weekend.. >l accidentally laugh to myself, "You gotta be f------ kidding me" This is how I find out? Give her a shot in the ass and send her on her way. >Weeks later I'm checking lab results and I see she came in on my only day off. >l haven't seen her since highschool >Look to see why she was here >Vaginal itching caused from Herpes.
: Anonymous 01/11/19(Fri)00:05:26 No.50360959 >Be 12 in middle school >Love at first sight >High school comes, never made a move >She goes off to Uni >Never see her again 12 KB JPG 2018 >Ве 29 >Her mom comes into the urgent care I work at. She talks about her daughters wedding the up coming weekend.. >l accidentally laugh to myself, "You gotta be f------ kidding me" This is how I find out? Give her a shot in the ass and send her on her way. >Weeks later I'm checking lab results and I see she came in on my only day off. >l haven't seen her since highschool >Look to see why she was here >Vaginal itching caused from Herpes.

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Anon demonstrates german humor | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a therapist | /r/Greentext


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Anon tells the tale of the Claptard | /r/Greentext


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Anon receives advice on autism. | /r/Greentext


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anon goes to a party | /r/Greentext

File: 1361376458464.jpg-(254 KB, 950x1403, 265161-ann-widdecombe.jpg) Anonymous (ID: 9Wzsnt+r) 02/20/13(Wed)11:07:38 No.459986294 >be 16, virgin, not fat or ugly >get a text from gf asking if I want to come over >surewhynot >get over, no ones home >gf in some hot Halloween outfit (not sure why but ok) >"Sooo whats up?" | say >she replies "Ohh l'l tell you what's going to be up soon" >aaaaahhhyeahhh potato >grabs me by the belt, pulls me upstairs >get in her room, starts taking off jeans >pulls out my r----------- and starts licking it >holysweetpadre4giveme >suddenly alpha mode engaged >push her on the bed and start f------ her >"omfg you're amazing, just like how I imagined it" >knowing the fact that she fantasized about me makes me harder >OMG FUUCCKKKK MEEE YEAHH >Suddenly her dad walks in >f--- >didn't here him because she was screaming so much >dad gives look of suicide bomber about to blow >start putting jeans on as fast as I can >he wastes no time grabs me by the throat >DAD NO, STOP IT! >Can't breathe, fell like this is the end >Throws me out her window >glass is everywhere >ripped jeans, skin was showing >hot night wind was blowing >where you think you're going baby? Anonymous (ID: oinSf+TT) 02/20/13(Wed)11:10:12 No.459986656 Replies: 2>459986851 f--- you Anonymous (ID: 1ay2iuMc) 02/20/13(Wed)11:10:52 No.459986758 >>459986294 (OP) 10/10 well done OP.
File: 1361376458464.jpg-(254 KB, 950x1403, 265161-ann-widdecombe.jpg) Anonymous (ID: 9Wzsnt+r) 02/20/13(Wed)11:07:38 No.459986294 >be 16, virgin, not fat or ugly >get a text from gf asking if I want to come over >surewhynot >get over, no ones home >gf in some hot Halloween outfit (not sure why but ok) >"Sooo whats up?" | say >she replies "Ohh l'l tell you what's going to be up soon" >aaaaahhhyeahhh potato >grabs me by the belt, pulls me upstairs >get in her room, starts taking off jeans >pulls out my r----------- and starts licking it >holysweetpadre4giveme >suddenly alpha mode engaged >push her on the bed and start f------ her >"omfg you're amazing, just like how I imagined it" >knowing the fact that she fantasized about me makes me harder >OMG FUUCCKKKK MEEE YEAHH >Suddenly her dad walks in >f--- >didn't here him because she was screaming so much >dad gives look of suicide bomber about to blow >start putting jeans on as fast as I can >he wastes no time grabs me by the throat >DAD NO, STOP IT! >Can't breathe, fell like this is the end >Throws me out her window >glass is everywhere >ripped jeans, skin was showing >hot night wind was blowing >where you think you're going baby? Anonymous (ID: oinSf+TT) 02/20/13(Wed)11:10:12 No.459986656 Replies: 2>459986851 f--- you Anonymous (ID: 1ay2iuMc) 02/20/13(Wed)11:10:52 No.459986758 >>459986294 (OP) 10/10 well done OP.

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Anon is Mongolian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 790130879 Acum 1h .. >Be me >Have aspergers >Friends bully me about it all the time >Saying I'm mongolian >Saying I have retard diploma from doctor >Gonna prove them wrong with a 23andme test 5,5 kB PNG >Notmongolian.png >Friend laughs >Says I took the wrong test >Should have gotten 24andme >mfw O REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 790130879 Acum 1h .. >Be me >Have aspergers >Friends bully me about it all the time >Saying I'm mongolian >Saying I have retard diploma from doctor >Gonna prove them wrong with a 23andme test 5,5 kB PNG >Notmongolian.png >Friend laughs >Says I took the wrong test >Should have gotten 24andme >mfw O REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon is spooked | /r/Greentext

>>17809523 # f---, this is terrifying. Just the thought of what he is looking at. I mean, what could spook the spooker?
>>17809523 # f---, this is terrifying. Just the thought of what he is looking at. I mean, what could spook the spooker?

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Anon is scared | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Uh...guys? 09/14/20(Mon)18:44:26 No.57433665 Recently I convinced my girlfriend to swallow me after oral, which of course is awesome. But something strange has happened...her deadlift and squat 1RM PRs have increased 21 and 17 percent respectively in the last 2 weeks. 36 KB JPG Now after our workouts she demands to suck my c---. Last night she even got me erect against my own will. I'm worried she grows stronger by the day, should I strike her down before it is too late? 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous Uh...guys? 09/14/20(Mon)18:44:26 No.57433665 Recently I convinced my girlfriend to swallow me after oral, which of course is awesome. But something strange has happened...her deadlift and squat 1RM PRs have increased 21 and 17 percent respectively in the last 2 weeks. 36 KB JPG Now after our workouts she demands to suck my c---. Last night she even got me erect against my own will. I'm worried she grows stronger by the day, should I strike her down before it is too late? 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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anon buys a girl a drink | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/11/14(Thu)15:06:43 No.35588678 File: image.jpg (45 KB, 468x498) >>35588775 >>35588791 >>35588910 >>35588951 >Be me >4 years ago >Succussful, friendly, good with people >Out at bar with some friends >Girl comes over and hits on me >Buy her a drink >She asks for a second of a different kind too >Tell the bartender to do it >Girl takes the drinks and say "k thx bye!" >Walks over to her boyfriend and kisses him while flipping me off >I look at the bartender and she shakes her head >Get idea >Ask for the two drinks she ordered on a different bill >Bartender agrees >Prints off the bill >Walk over and hand the girl the bill for her drinks >Girl laughs at me >Walk over to the bouncer and tell him the situation >Bouncer gets the thousand yard stare >l can only assume he was remembering a love long lost with a heart of gold now shattered >Bitch and her boyfriend try to leave >Bartender taps my shoulder to show me >Bouncer stands in front of them >"You will go pay for your drinks, now." >Boyfriend tries to get in his face >Bouncer calmly pushes him out of the bar >Stares at girl >Stares at girl >Girl starts crying >Stares at girl >Stares at girl >Giri pulls a $20 bill out of her bra and hands it to the bouncer >Screams "Here you go a------!" >Runs out >Bouncer hands me the 20 and says "keep the change" >He knuckle-touches the bartender >I thank him >Find out he likes camping >We camp together now with my fiancée and his wife It was the last time I bought a drink for a girl in a bar. F------ bitches.
Anonymous 09/11/14(Thu)15:06:43 No.35588678 File: image.jpg (45 KB, 468x498) >>35588775 >>35588791 >>35588910 >>35588951 >Be me >4 years ago >Succussful, friendly, good with people >Out at bar with some friends >Girl comes over and hits on me >Buy her a drink >She asks for a second of a different kind too >Tell the bartender to do it >Girl takes the drinks and say "k thx bye!" >Walks over to her boyfriend and kisses him while flipping me off >I look at the bartender and she shakes her head >Get idea >Ask for the two drinks she ordered on a different bill >Bartender agrees >Prints off the bill >Walk over and hand the girl the bill for her drinks >Girl laughs at me >Walk over to the bouncer and tell him the situation >Bouncer gets the thousand yard stare >l can only assume he was remembering a love long lost with a heart of gold now shattered >Bitch and her boyfriend try to leave >Bartender taps my shoulder to show me >Bouncer stands in front of them >"You will go pay for your drinks, now." >Boyfriend tries to get in his face >Bouncer calmly pushes him out of the bar >Stares at girl >Stares at girl >Girl starts crying >Stares at girl >Stares at girl >Giri pulls a $20 bill out of her bra and hands it to the bouncer >Screams "Here you go a------!" >Runs out >Bouncer hands me the 20 and says "keep the change" >He knuckle-touches the bartender >I thank him >Find out he likes camping >We camp together now with my fiancée and his wife It was the last time I bought a drink for a girl in a bar. F------ bitches.

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Anon gets more than what he had bargained for | /r/Greentext

>be me, junkie >sitting in a dark ass alley, trying to kill the bedbugs with meth smoke >see a couple walk by, well dressed, clearly have money >takewhatsyours.wav >jump out of the alley and say >"look! No one needs to get hurt just give me your 211 KB JPG money wallet and purse" >the guy says "oh so you wanna hold my wife down and force your c--- into her ass while I watch helplessly from across the street huh??!" >wait...what? >he pulls his wife's pants down and runs across the street >she looks at me and licks her lips >mfw I just wanted some f------ meth you f------ cucks.
>be me, junkie >sitting in a dark ass alley, trying to kill the bedbugs with meth smoke >see a couple walk by, well dressed, clearly have money >takewhatsyours.wav >jump out of the alley and say >"look! No one needs to get hurt just give me your 211 KB JPG money wallet and purse" >the guy says "oh so you wanna hold my wife down and force your c--- into her ass while I watch helplessly from across the street huh??!" >wait...what? >he pulls his wife's pants down and runs across the street >she looks at me and licks her lips >mfw I just wanted some f------ meth you f------ cucks.

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Anon's coworker goes to Italy | /r/Greentext


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Anon uses Instagram | /r/Greentext


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Anon walks a trail | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)11:56:22 No.1985573 File: 1500307697073.png (101 KB, 300x300) >>1985584 OO >>1984336 (OP) >walking on a trail in the mountains >bald man passes by
Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)11:56:22 No.1985573 File: 1500307697073.png (101 KB, 300x300) >>1985584 OO >>1984336 (OP) >walking on a trail in the mountains >bald man passes by

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Anon makes a power move | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)16:24:09 No.61906872 File: 34131410 460200611086005_(...).jpg (48 KB, 664x960) >have a fwb >she insists shes down with anything >wants me to request something to prove it >ask if i can piss on her >she says ok >dont even want to but was calling her bluff and cant backout now >she gets in tub >here we go.jpg >piss on her hair and face >its pungent as f--- >her hair is soaked and its streaming down her face >she starts gagging >i assume from the smell >i laugh at the absolute state >say, "well look at you now!" >she starts screaming at me to get out over and over >hastily get dressed >never see her again
Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)16:24:09 No.61906872 File: 34131410 460200611086005_(...).jpg (48 KB, 664x960) >have a fwb >she insists shes down with anything >wants me to request something to prove it >ask if i can piss on her >she says ok >dont even want to but was calling her bluff and cant backout now >she gets in tub >here we go.jpg >piss on her hair and face >its pungent as f--- >her hair is soaked and its streaming down her face >she starts gagging >i assume from the smell >i laugh at the absolute state >say, "well look at you now!" >she starts screaming at me to get out over and over >hastily get dressed >never see her again

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Anon goes for a walk | /r/Greentext

O Marcissus IN9EDLMFSKI 08/11/11(Thu)12:43 No.87673510 File 1313080993.png-(9 KB, 288x350, 1310957042554.png) >walking down street >group of hot girls ahead on sidewalk >oh f--- >aspie overload >cross street to avoid social WHAT DID I DO TO contact DESERVE THIS >they notice me crossing >they giggle > f--- this i'll just pretend i live at this house" >go down random driveway >curtains shuffle >middle aged woman stars at me out the window >turn around fast >3 girls stood staring at me >this is their house >rapidly think of plan B >'have you accepted jesus as your lord and saviour?"
O Marcissus IN9EDLMFSKI 08/11/11(Thu)12:43 No.87673510 File 1313080993.png-(9 KB, 288x350, 1310957042554.png) >walking down street >group of hot girls ahead on sidewalk >oh f--- >aspie overload >cross street to avoid social WHAT DID I DO TO contact DESERVE THIS >they notice me crossing >they giggle > f--- this i'll just pretend i live at this house" >go down random driveway >curtains shuffle >middle aged woman stars at me out the window >turn around fast >3 girls stood staring at me >this is their house >rapidly think of plan B >'have you accepted jesus as your lord and saviour?"

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Anon is 1 inch away from happiness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)22:55:58 No.845162152 O 1 Year Ago It hurts to live 20210118_211318.jpg 57 KB JPG >Be born >End up 5'11 >4 inches > Life keeps screwing me by one inch Is there even a point in trying anymore?
: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)22:55:58 No.845162152 O 1 Year Ago It hurts to live 20210118_211318.jpg 57 KB JPG >Be born >End up 5'11 >4 inches > Life keeps screwing me by one inch Is there even a point in trying anymore?

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Anon plays rust | /r/Greentext

>be me >play rust >meet a deaf guy >tells me he gets bullied in school too >become friends and play ever day >we share loot and play together >one day he kills me calls me f----- and tells me he isnt deaf and im a p---- for getting bullied >mfw my only friend lied to me and stole everything 24 KB JPG View Thread
>be me >play rust >meet a deaf guy >tells me he gets bullied in school too >become friends and play ever day >we share loot and play together >one day he kills me calls me f----- and tells me he isnt deaf and im a p---- for getting bullied >mfw my only friend lied to me and stole everything 24 KB JPG View Thread

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