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Anon plays Overwatch | /r/Greentext

O how do i fix this anons?? Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)23:20:52 >be me >19 >9/10 looks but autistic >always been kinda desperate for girls >my bad social skills and confidence destroys my potential >after yet another friendzone i finally give up >begin to focus on myself >hit the gym >build confidence >discover /fit/ and become even more autistic >start acknowledging my genetic advantage (9/10 looks) >in my mind i am basically a chad >haven't talked to any girls since my recent friendzone (lockdown) >bored >queue up for some Overwatch games >get teamed up with mercy main e-girl twice in a row >she recognizes my name and says hello or some s--- >instantly feel myself blushing, sweaty palms, rising pulse ect. i f------ hate this
O how do i fix this anons?? Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)23:20:52 >be me >19 >9/10 looks but autistic >always been kinda desperate for girls >my bad social skills and confidence destroys my potential >after yet another friendzone i finally give up >begin to focus on myself >hit the gym >build confidence >discover /fit/ and become even more autistic >start acknowledging my genetic advantage (9/10 looks) >in my mind i am basically a chad >haven't talked to any girls since my recent friendzone (lockdown) >bored >queue up for some Overwatch games >get teamed up with mercy main e-girl twice in a row >she recognizes my name and says hello or some s--- >instantly feel myself blushing, sweaty palms, rising pulse ect. i f------ hate this

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I loved grade 7 | /r/Greentext

>be 12 >get weird feelings for girl >cant describe it >tell her how i feel >she feels same way >we go to reccess >we hide in back of playground >she tells me to take my pants off >lol wut >ask her why >tells me to trust her >i comply and take pants off >standing naked >breeze feels good >she moves her head toward my junk >try not to pee >success >my first ever b------- >d--- like a toothpick but idgaf >recess is over >learn about dinosaurs >they're pretty cool >go home >tell mom about recess >she flips the f--- out >tells my dad >ive made a huge mistake >mom calls cops >cop comes to school >my teacher was arrested >i miss mrs. johnson
>be 12 >get weird feelings for girl >cant describe it >tell her how i feel >she feels same way >we go to reccess >we hide in back of playground >she tells me to take my pants off >lol wut >ask her why >tells me to trust her >i comply and take pants off >standing naked >breeze feels good >she moves her head toward my junk >try not to pee >success >my first ever b------- >d--- like a toothpick but idgaf >recess is over >learn about dinosaurs >they're pretty cool >go home >tell mom about recess >she flips the f--- out >tells my dad >ive made a huge mistake >mom calls cops >cop comes to school >my teacher was arrested >i miss mrs. johnson

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Anon tries to flirt | /r/Greentext

Am i retarded? >Be 16 >pretty beta but not bad looking >meet 8/10 japanese girl >start talking 273 KB PNG >she's into me >its happening >says her name is hiroka >gives me her number >call later that night >nervous asf >"Hey hiroshima" >"What did you say Anon?!" >s--- s--- s--- >try to recover >"Because..uh you're the bomb" "she hangs up"
Am i retarded? >Be 16 >pretty beta but not bad looking >meet 8/10 japanese girl >start talking 273 KB PNG >she's into me >its happening >says her name is hiroka >gives me her number >call later that night >nervous asf >"Hey hiroshima" >"What did you say Anon?!" >s--- s--- s--- >try to recover >"Because..uh you're the bomb" "she hangs up"

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Anon has a panic attack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)18:44:16 No.48965458 >think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? >have panic attack 150 KB PNG
: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)18:44:16 No.48965458 >think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? >have panic attack 150 KB PNG

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Anon took his therapist's advice | /r/Greentext

>go to therapist >ask for help with being social >she gives me homework >say hello to 20 people on the street before our next session >okletsdothis.gif >walking home from her office, pass a middle aged guy >"hi! how are you?" >holyshitididit.mp4 >"not too bad! how are you? god it's cold out!" 84.3 kB PNG >f--- he's starting a conversation. >"eh yeah... i dont like cold" >"do you live nearby? i'm just across here. maybe a cup of tea will warm you up" >wow this is easy, i'm already making friends >we go up to his apartment and he puts the kettle on >"so good christmas? spend it with your gf?" he asks >"um... no. with my parents. no gf" >"oh. break up with your last one recently?" >"uh... i've never had a gf" >"that's strange, nice looking young fella like yourself" he says and winks at me. >he sits down next to me and puts his hand on my knee and starts moving it up my thigh "ehhh i have to go to the bathroom" i say and run out of his apartment my therapist almost got me sodomized
>go to therapist >ask for help with being social >she gives me homework >say hello to 20 people on the street before our next session >okletsdothis.gif >walking home from her office, pass a middle aged guy >"hi! how are you?" >holyshitididit.mp4 >"not too bad! how are you? god it's cold out!" 84.3 kB PNG >f--- he's starting a conversation. >"eh yeah... i dont like cold" >"do you live nearby? i'm just across here. maybe a cup of tea will warm you up" >wow this is easy, i'm already making friends >we go up to his apartment and he puts the kettle on >"so good christmas? spend it with your gf?" he asks >"um... no. with my parents. no gf" >"oh. break up with your last one recently?" >"uh... i've never had a gf" >"that's strange, nice looking young fella like yourself" he says and winks at me. >he sits down next to me and puts his hand on my knee and starts moving it up my thigh "ehhh i have to go to the bathroom" i say and run out of his apartment my therapist almost got me sodomized

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Anon defeats a redditor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/18(Thu)21:14:08 No.786762596 >be me >not know anything about 4chan >forge greentexts on mspaint for karma >horny redditor finds dumb discrepency >downvote redditor 21 KB JPG >redditor defeated
: Anonymous 12/06/18(Thu)21:14:08 No.786762596 >be me >not know anything about 4chan >forge greentexts on mspaint for karma >horny redditor finds dumb discrepency >downvote redditor 21 KB JPG >redditor defeated

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Muscle girls rule | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/18(Mon)07:07:10 No.100049780 >be girl >middle school, early 2000s >walking to class >see some short kid getting shoved into the locker >tiny little hispanic kid and his two goons are harrassing this kid for lunch money >is this real life >take the little hispanic kid and put him in a chicken hold >tell him if he touches this kid again l'll beat his face into the locker so hard his parents wont be able to recognize him >he calls his goons off, runs away >short kid follows me around for the rest of the school year, carrying my books and taking care of my tamogotchi and letting me use his head as an armrest a couple years ago I looked him up on facebook and found he publicly joined a "muscle girl appreciation" group. >>100049844 # >>100049852 # >>100049860 # >>100050028 #
: Anonymous 04/23/18(Mon)07:07:10 No.100049780 >be girl >middle school, early 2000s >walking to class >see some short kid getting shoved into the locker >tiny little hispanic kid and his two goons are harrassing this kid for lunch money >is this real life >take the little hispanic kid and put him in a chicken hold >tell him if he touches this kid again l'll beat his face into the locker so hard his parents wont be able to recognize him >he calls his goons off, runs away >short kid follows me around for the rest of the school year, carrying my books and taking care of my tamogotchi and letting me use his head as an armrest a couple years ago I looked him up on facebook and found he publicly joined a "muscle girl appreciation" group. >>100049844 # >>100049852 # >>100049860 # >>100050028 #

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Anon is straight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f-----
Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f-----

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Anon goes to GameStop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Today at Gamestop 04/16/19(Tue)11:06:28 No.458697650 Please be patient I have autism >Getting checked out by qt3.14 cashier girl >easily an 8/10 >buying Sekiro today >cashier girl asks "Do you want to donate to autism speaks today?" >"Haha no actually i'd prefer they stop speaking all together" 43 KB JPG >Her f------ face >The absolute disgust What the f--- is wrong with me /v/? Why did I have to waste 6 years of my life on this godforsaken site?
: Anonymous Today at Gamestop 04/16/19(Tue)11:06:28 No.458697650 Please be patient I have autism >Getting checked out by qt3.14 cashier girl >easily an 8/10 >buying Sekiro today >cashier girl asks "Do you want to donate to autism speaks today?" >"Haha no actually i'd prefer they stop speaking all together" 43 KB JPG >Her f------ face >The absolute disgust What the f--- is wrong with me /v/? Why did I have to waste 6 years of my life on this godforsaken site?

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Anon gets bad news | /r/Greentext

File: monke.jpg (81 KB, 899x527) Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu) No.845967807 > be me > at home > eating pizza > suddenly phone rings > pick up > voice says "monke has fall" > NO00O! > it no longer makes sense to live > continue eating pizza
File: monke.jpg (81 KB, 899x527) Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu) No.845967807 > be me > at home > eating pizza > suddenly phone rings > pick up > voice says "monke has fall" > NO00O! > it no longer makes sense to live > continue eating pizza

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Anon is indian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:54:22 No.62073940 Femanons, would you date an Indian man? 25 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:56:10 No.62073979 >>62073940 (OP) # Vikram, my moms computer needs updating again, get off 4chan and give her a call, ok?
: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:54:22 No.62073940 Femanons, would you date an Indian man? 25 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:56:10 No.62073979 >>62073940 (OP) # Vikram, my moms computer needs updating again, get off 4chan and give her a call, ok?

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anon gets stocks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:18:55 No.846014840 >hear about the GameStop stock s--- >want to get in on it >room mate brags about having a 555-COME-ON-NOW bunch of GME and AMC stocks >bash his skull in with lead pipe >i NOW have GME and AMC 133 KB PNG stocks How can it be THIS easy???
: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:18:55 No.846014840 >hear about the GameStop stock s--- >want to get in on it >room mate brags about having a 555-COME-ON-NOW bunch of GME and AMC stocks >bash his skull in with lead pipe >i NOW have GME and AMC 133 KB PNG stocks How can it be THIS easy???

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Anon fucks | /r/Greentext

File: cgtqramtins31.png (638 KB, 1080x1153) O Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)21:37:08 No.845984999 > Tis I, Chad > be banging some married 6/10 > good head and ok with spanking and loud moaning so not complaining > front door slams downstairs, must be the cuck > throw my shoe at him as he walks by the bedroom to instate and assert dominance > his wife screams at him > scuttles to his room quickly. i can hear him log on to his computer by the sound of his mechanical keyboard > hear him chuckle > woman is moaning in ecstacy while i flood her fertile womb with my seed > it's been a good day > he suddenly comes back, his face and clothes and fingers covered in orange dust > mumbles something about internet culture while pointing to his wife's creampied c---
File: cgtqramtins31.png (638 KB, 1080x1153) O Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)21:37:08 No.845984999 > Tis I, Chad > be banging some married 6/10 > good head and ok with spanking and loud moaning so not complaining > front door slams downstairs, must be the cuck > throw my shoe at him as he walks by the bedroom to instate and assert dominance > his wife screams at him > scuttles to his room quickly. i can hear him log on to his computer by the sound of his mechanical keyboard > hear him chuckle > woman is moaning in ecstacy while i flood her fertile womb with my seed > it's been a good day > he suddenly comes back, his face and clothes and fingers covered in orange dust > mumbles something about internet culture while pointing to his wife's creampied c---

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Anon finishes their exam | /r/Greentext

Literally just happened >be me >college student >taking exam online at midnight because Chinese Sneeze >hear screaming >whatever someone's drunk 6 KB JPG >screaming continues >open door and look outside >some old dude harassing college kids from the street >ignore it >screaming continues >imthoroughlyannoyed.exe >open door >tell guy to shut up or I'm calling the cops >tells me to do it and that I'm bitch >whatever >call cops >tell them someone's screaming and raising hell and give location >see police cruiser and sheriff stroll past house minutes later >hear yelling >hear gunshots Don't bother me while I'm taking quizzes you f------ junkie
Literally just happened >be me >college student >taking exam online at midnight because Chinese Sneeze >hear screaming >whatever someone's drunk 6 KB JPG >screaming continues >open door and look outside >some old dude harassing college kids from the street >ignore it >screaming continues >imthoroughlyannoyed.exe >open door >tell guy to shut up or I'm calling the cops >tells me to do it and that I'm bitch >whatever >call cops >tell them someone's screaming and raising hell and give location >see police cruiser and sheriff stroll past house minutes later >hear yelling >hear gunshots Don't bother me while I'm taking quizzes you f------ junkie

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Anon is Australian | /r/Greentext

>be today >be Australian >Woke up sick >Call work to let them know I can't come in >"Yeahnoworries.mate" 9 KB PNG >contact local GP >Appointment free and same day because subsidised social healthcare >Paid sick leave because strong labour movement that guarantees working rights >Now nobody at work will catch my cold. >Food for customers not contaminated by my cold. >Company doesn't lose money because my sick leave is government subsidised >All bills continue to be paid on time, my day is stress-free because I have time to relax and recover. Today is yet another day l'm glad I'm not an American.
>be today >be Australian >Woke up sick >Call work to let them know I can't come in >"Yeahnoworries.mate" 9 KB PNG >contact local GP >Appointment free and same day because subsidised social healthcare >Paid sick leave because strong labour movement that guarantees working rights >Now nobody at work will catch my cold. >Food for customers not contaminated by my cold. >Company doesn't lose money because my sick leave is government subsidised >All bills continue to be paid on time, my day is stress-free because I have time to relax and recover. Today is yet another day l'm glad I'm not an American.

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anon goes to the doctor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)18:08:24 No.845998550 _91408619_55df76d5-2245-41c1-8031-07a4da3f313f.jpg 29 KB JPG >go to doctor >female nurse touches my arm to take blood pressure >c-- while flacid I dont get touched much
: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)18:08:24 No.845998550 _91408619_55df76d5-2245-41c1-8031-07a4da3f313f.jpg 29 KB JPG >go to doctor >female nurse touches my arm to take blood pressure >c-- while flacid I dont get touched much

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Anon is trapped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/18(Wed)13:36:46 No.44291860 >walk into gym >see penis inspection day sign >turn around >the door is already sealed 107 KB JPG >>44291943 #
: Anonymous 01/10/18(Wed)13:36:46 No.44291860 >walk into gym >see penis inspection day sign >turn around >the door is already sealed 107 KB JPG >>44291943 #

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Anon knows basic biology | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Jab0+LDQ ) 01/28/21(Thu >>305502762 (OP) >Why is Ben Shapiro such a f------ Jew? He has jewish parents
Anonymous (ID: Jab0+LDQ ) 01/28/21(Thu >>305502762 (OP) >Why is Ben Shapiro such a f------ Jew? He has jewish parents

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Anon looses billions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: do6PaYs7 )01/27/21(Wed)16:22:06 No.26728952 >make rigged casino >make it so slot machines have a 0% chance of paying out >make it a progressive jackpot worth millions upon billions of dollars >nobody wins for many years >finally after all this time someone finds a bug in the system and the dreaded jackpot finally hits >comes time to pay out but dont have nearly enough to do so, this scenario was never planned for, has to pay by 83 KB PNG law >forced to sell the casino and everything in it >NOO00000000000000000000000000000C YOU PLAYED THE SLOT MACHINE WRONG YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOSE NOO00000000000000000
: Anonymous (ID: do6PaYs7 )01/27/21(Wed)16:22:06 No.26728952 >make rigged casino >make it so slot machines have a 0% chance of paying out >make it a progressive jackpot worth millions upon billions of dollars >nobody wins for many years >finally after all this time someone finds a bug in the system and the dreaded jackpot finally hits >comes time to pay out but dont have nearly enough to do so, this scenario was never planned for, has to pay by 83 KB PNG law >forced to sell the casino and everything in it >NOO00000000000000000000000000000C YOU PLAYED THE SLOT MACHINE WRONG YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOSE NOO00000000000000000

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Bamboozled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat)13:00:06 M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her >arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me
Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat)13:00:06 M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her >arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me

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