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Anon made a Egyptian friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous[] 01/31/21(Sun)20:45:31 No.138718405 >Call Amazon customer service >l'm informed the call center guy is speaking from Egypt >Turns out to be the most professional, most polite call center guy l've ever interacted with >Thank him a lot 44 KB PNG >"Always at your service Sir" >Before leaving I ask him if he's actually Egyptian >"Yes" >congratulate him on his perfect Italian >"Thanks, I invite you to visit Egypt, the country of the the Sphinx and the Pyramids, one of the seven wonders of the world" >Haha wow thanks! >"I've worked with Italians before. You can visit my city which is located there near there, you'll love it there" >Thank him so much, and ask him his name again >He knows mine from the screen I felt /international/ love bliss bros. I now have a new Egyptian fren
: Anonymous[] 01/31/21(Sun)20:45:31 No.138718405 >Call Amazon customer service >l'm informed the call center guy is speaking from Egypt >Turns out to be the most professional, most polite call center guy l've ever interacted with >Thank him a lot 44 KB PNG >"Always at your service Sir" >Before leaving I ask him if he's actually Egyptian >"Yes" >congratulate him on his perfect Italian >"Thanks, I invite you to visit Egypt, the country of the the Sphinx and the Pyramids, one of the seven wonders of the world" >Haha wow thanks! >"I've worked with Italians before. You can visit my city which is located there near there, you'll love it there" >Thank him so much, and ask him his name again >He knows mine from the screen I felt /international/ love bliss bros. I now have a new Egyptian fren

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Czechs saving Slovaks again | /r/Greentext

File: 1612102285809.png (851 KB, 1051x892) Czech woman performs oral sex to stop robbery of Slovak gas station January 28, 2021 24-year-old Serbian robbed a gas station in Bratislava. A 36-year-old Czech woman offered him a b------ to distract him until the police arrived Anonymous (ID: CesvixL5 E 01/31/21(Sun)16:24:18 No.305961036 >>305957655 (OP) >be me >robbing store with gf like usual >she gets excited and starts blowing me >eyes closed about to nut, cops bust in >l get arrested >everyone treats her like a hero W--
File: 1612102285809.png (851 KB, 1051x892) Czech woman performs oral sex to stop robbery of Slovak gas station January 28, 2021 24-year-old Serbian robbed a gas station in Bratislava. A 36-year-old Czech woman offered him a b------ to distract him until the police arrived Anonymous (ID: CesvixL5 E 01/31/21(Sun)16:24:18 No.305961036 >>305957655 (OP) >be me >robbing store with gf like usual >she gets excited and starts blowing me >eyes closed about to nut, cops bust in >l get arrested >everyone treats her like a hero W--

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gaynon has a revelation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/18(Thu)21:14:08 No.786762596 >be me >gay >have 6' 10" boyfriend >mfw i have the actual big gay 21 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/06/18(Thu)21:14:08 No.786762596 >be me >gay >have 6' 10" boyfriend >mfw i have the actual big gay 21 KB JPG

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Anon meets the world | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/12/20(Tue)22:36:00 No.58122654 >go outside >see people with long hair >see people with t--- >see people wearing a dress >they're everywhere W-- guys I thought women were just a meme 280 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/12/20(Tue)22:36:00 No.58122654 >go outside >see people with long hair >see people with t--- >see people wearing a dress >they're everywhere W-- guys I thought women were just a meme 280 KB PNG

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Anon wants bobs | /r/Greentext

[Serious long post, please read and tell solutions] >How can I let my girlfriend show me her breasts (or even get naked before)? She's hella shy and conservative. >She's conservative, even tho she was born and grew up in London (we both are indians, I am here for PhD, she grew up 163 KB JPG here) >And she thinks that a couple should do naked stuff only after marriage. > but she's ok with kissing, cuddling and hugging stuff. (Felt her body doing these stuffs before). >it would take 2 years to complete my PhD and would take one year for marriage at least, I don't even want sex, I want to see her breasts, she's cute. >What can I do to convince her? > [again, this is a serious post]. -Broke Imperial student, graduating within few years. (Posting pic, would delete the post within few mins of getting some replies or answers).
[Serious long post, please read and tell solutions] >How can I let my girlfriend show me her breasts (or even get naked before)? She's hella shy and conservative. >She's conservative, even tho she was born and grew up in London (we both are indians, I am here for PhD, she grew up 163 KB JPG here) >And she thinks that a couple should do naked stuff only after marriage. > but she's ok with kissing, cuddling and hugging stuff. (Felt her body doing these stuffs before). >it would take 2 years to complete my PhD and would take one year for marriage at least, I don't even want sex, I want to see her breasts, she's cute. >What can I do to convince her? > [again, this is a serious post]. -Broke Imperial student, graduating within few years. (Posting pic, would delete the post within few mins of getting some replies or answers).

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Anon likes pickles | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/23/13(Mon)10:04:04 UTC-5 No.522930202 2>522923281 Tell me about it. >went to the store on Thursday >bought a half gallon jar of pickles >love me some pickles >eat one as soon as I get home >tastesgoodman.bat >so good I decide 'll have a few more >walk back to my computer and start to work but the urge is not sated >not by a long shot >come back to life-giving pickle jar several more time >eat several pickles each time >after an hour the jar is empty >400% of my daily sodium never tasted so good >thirty minutes later I hear a churning in my stomach >not a light rumbling, sounds like the noise an old tub makes when you suddenly pull the drain >initiate sprint to bathroom mode >barely get my ass on the toilet as a f------ waterfall emerges from my a------ >never in my life have relief and horror been such close bedfellows >after about ten seconds of continuous flow it subsides to a trickle and stops >toilet water is green and smells like vinegar >body didn't even try to digest that s--- >clean up and go back to computer >thinking "thank god that's over" >Not. Even. Close. >five minutes later the rumbling is back >even louder this time >sprint to bathroom, lather, rinse, repeat >this happens five more f------ times >it's finally all gone >stomach is concave; I have never had less food inside my body >completely cleaned out >cue rumble >sit on toilet but it's different this time >I KNOW there's nothing in there >s--- out a tiny amount of liquid, immediately feel better >"well I guess there was just a tiny bit left, that wasn't so ba-" >all at once the burning fire of a thousand young suns sets upon my a--- sphincter >l had just shat out pure stomach acid >frantically wipe at my ass to prevent it from melting away like the spaceship floor in Alien >craw in shower, tum cold water on full blast, and lie prone while gently sobbing >eventually towel off and crawl exhausted into bed at 3:00 in the afternoon >sleep for fourteen hours In retrospect, it was all totally worth it. I love me some pickles.
Anonymous 12/23/13(Mon)10:04:04 UTC-5 No.522930202 2>522923281 Tell me about it. >went to the store on Thursday >bought a half gallon jar of pickles >love me some pickles >eat one as soon as I get home >tastesgoodman.bat >so good I decide 'll have a few more >walk back to my computer and start to work but the urge is not sated >not by a long shot >come back to life-giving pickle jar several more time >eat several pickles each time >after an hour the jar is empty >400% of my daily sodium never tasted so good >thirty minutes later I hear a churning in my stomach >not a light rumbling, sounds like the noise an old tub makes when you suddenly pull the drain >initiate sprint to bathroom mode >barely get my ass on the toilet as a f------ waterfall emerges from my a------ >never in my life have relief and horror been such close bedfellows >after about ten seconds of continuous flow it subsides to a trickle and stops >toilet water is green and smells like vinegar >body didn't even try to digest that s--- >clean up and go back to computer >thinking "thank god that's over" >Not. Even. Close. >five minutes later the rumbling is back >even louder this time >sprint to bathroom, lather, rinse, repeat >this happens five more f------ times >it's finally all gone >stomach is concave; I have never had less food inside my body >completely cleaned out >cue rumble >sit on toilet but it's different this time >I KNOW there's nothing in there >s--- out a tiny amount of liquid, immediately feel better >"well I guess there was just a tiny bit left, that wasn't so ba-" >all at once the burning fire of a thousand young suns sets upon my a--- sphincter >l had just shat out pure stomach acid >frantically wipe at my ass to prevent it from melting away like the spaceship floor in Alien >craw in shower, tum cold water on full blast, and lie prone while gently sobbing >eventually towel off and crawl exhausted into bed at 3:00 in the afternoon >sleep for fourteen hours In retrospect, it was all totally worth it. I love me some pickles.

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Frame job.. | /r/Greentext

File: 17a9a18507ab6be622629c92a(...).jpg (41 KB, 480x640) O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)11:51:27 No.62098583 >>62098750 >>62098760 >>62098825 Anyone else here was never bulled in high school? >chad tried to bully me in middle school >tells me that I'm "a f------ loser who has no friends and should kill myself" >respond with "alright" in an expressionless manner >chads ignore me when they realize I don't give enough of a s--- for them to get a rise out of me O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)11:55:00 No.62098624 >>62098649 >>62098665 >>62098709 chad was always nice to me and my best friend from childhood is a chad it was the second place guys that were trying to climb the social ladder that were the pricks
File: 17a9a18507ab6be622629c92a(...).jpg (41 KB, 480x640) O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)11:51:27 No.62098583 >>62098750 >>62098760 >>62098825 Anyone else here was never bulled in high school? >chad tried to bully me in middle school >tells me that I'm "a f------ loser who has no friends and should kill myself" >respond with "alright" in an expressionless manner >chads ignore me when they realize I don't give enough of a s--- for them to get a rise out of me O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)11:55:00 No.62098624 >>62098649 >>62098665 >>62098709 chad was always nice to me and my best friend from childhood is a chad it was the second place guys that were trying to climb the social ladder that were the pricks

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Anon finds rare Pokemon | /r/Greentext

>The hambeast Meghan Trainor is performing at SJSU tonight >Tons of Pokemon Go players walking around campus >Walk past some normies playing it >"Hey guys, do you want to catch 1.5 MB GIF a Snorlax?" >"No way!" "Where'd you find it?" >"At the Stadium, Meghan Trainor is performing tonight!" >"OMG!" "That's f----- up!" "F--- you!" >mfw
>The hambeast Meghan Trainor is performing at SJSU tonight >Tons of Pokemon Go players walking around campus >Walk past some normies playing it >"Hey guys, do you want to catch 1.5 MB GIF a Snorlax?" >"No way!" "Where'd you find it?" >"At the Stadium, Meghan Trainor is performing tonight!" >"OMG!" "That's f----- up!" "F--- you!" >mfw

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Anon is single | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [UAuto] File: thumb_aidan-you-should-st(.).png (40 KB, 300x334) O Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)13:12:46 No.846193430 ► >l asked out a girl >She refused, but her face blushed >Find wins where you can [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [DAuto]
[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [UAuto] File: thumb_aidan-you-should-st(.).png (40 KB, 300x334) O Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)13:12:46 No.846193430 ► >l asked out a girl >She refused, but her face blushed >Find wins where you can [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [DAuto]

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Anon goes grocery shopping | /r/Greentext


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Anon rejects a girl | /r/Greentext

le: download (1).png (48 KB, 219x219) Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)00:10:42 No.846193331 >be me, aged 15 >regular day at school >cute girl walks to me before chemistry class is about to start >"hey anon how have you been" >"uh, good thanks" >"hey anon i actually really like you" >w--.jpeg >try to say "that's very flattering" >accidentally say "that's very depressing" >tell her i'm sorry it just slipped out >she took it like a champ and said it's ok never talked to her again
le: download (1).png (48 KB, 219x219) Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)00:10:42 No.846193331 >be me, aged 15 >regular day at school >cute girl walks to me before chemistry class is about to start >"hey anon how have you been" >"uh, good thanks" >"hey anon i actually really like you" >w--.jpeg >try to say "that's very flattering" >accidentally say "that's very depressing" >tell her i'm sorry it just slipped out >she took it like a champ and said it's ok never talked to her again

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Anon is the Green Goblin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous El Goblino Verde 01/29/21(Fri)21:31:24 No.59604720 >apartmentfag >lockpickfag >parents are richfags so I can buy dumb expensive useless things once in a blue moon >unit next to me keeps having loud femdom sex every now and then and it literally sounds like two special needs children 314 KB JPG f------ >binge raimi spiderman because sleeping is impossible with this noise >decide to turn the volume up during the green goblin fight scene to annoy the couple making goat sex noises >girl bangs on the wall and tells me to shut the f--- up >leave room >put on picrel helmet >pick neighbour's door >kick open bedroom door "I'M THE GREEN F------ GOBLIN, YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO SHUT THE F--- UP AND TAKE YOUR DISGUSTING COPULATION ELSEWHERE" >l'm 6'3 manlet >guy is 5'9, on the floor with a strap on up his ass so he can't do s--- >girl is close to my height but clearly s------- herself >deathstare at the couple for a few seconds before leaving and laughing my ass off >finish spiderman 1 at max volume while neighbours still audibly s------- themselves
: Anonymous El Goblino Verde 01/29/21(Fri)21:31:24 No.59604720 >apartmentfag >lockpickfag >parents are richfags so I can buy dumb expensive useless things once in a blue moon >unit next to me keeps having loud femdom sex every now and then and it literally sounds like two special needs children 314 KB JPG f------ >binge raimi spiderman because sleeping is impossible with this noise >decide to turn the volume up during the green goblin fight scene to annoy the couple making goat sex noises >girl bangs on the wall and tells me to shut the f--- up >leave room >put on picrel helmet >pick neighbour's door >kick open bedroom door "I'M THE GREEN F------ GOBLIN, YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO SHUT THE F--- UP AND TAKE YOUR DISGUSTING COPULATION ELSEWHERE" >l'm 6'3 manlet >guy is 5'9, on the floor with a strap on up his ass so he can't do s--- >girl is close to my height but clearly s------- herself >deathstare at the couple for a few seconds before leaving and laughing my ass off >finish spiderman 1 at max volume while neighbours still audibly s------- themselves

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Anon plays soccer | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "Im f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears
O Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "Im f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears

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Neet leaf is on the big bux | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous •i International neets 07/03/16(Sun)11:39:08 No.61618487 Who here /neet/? Feels good man. I pretended to have schizophrenia by yelling and making a scene at the benefits office and that in combination 149 KB PNG with the time I got hospitalized for trying to kill myself over Wow helped me score over $2000/month in neetbux. How are my fellow neets experience with the bux in their country? I'm extremely cozy.
: Anonymous •i International neets 07/03/16(Sun)11:39:08 No.61618487 Who here /neet/? Feels good man. I pretended to have schizophrenia by yelling and making a scene at the benefits office and that in combination 149 KB PNG with the time I got hospitalized for trying to kill myself over Wow helped me score over $2000/month in neetbux. How are my fellow neets experience with the bux in their country? I'm extremely cozy.

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Anon is a crumb dealer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/13/17(Mon)15:30:03 No.18926794 I've become a bread crumb dealer to 4 crows in my local lake. And they pay me with a bit of everything. Shiny stuff, fabric, pens etc. But recently they paid me with 20$ they've found somewhere. So i decided to buy them some more 868 KB JPG expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me dollar notes. And i've problamy racked up 200$ at this point. Is it morally wrong though, i mean. They're the ones who steals it from someone. Or perhaps they just got a big pile laying somewhere. Should i keep on doing this? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 11/13/17(Mon)15:30:03 No.18926794 I've become a bread crumb dealer to 4 crows in my local lake. And they pay me with a bit of everything. Shiny stuff, fabric, pens etc. But recently they paid me with 20$ they've found somewhere. So i decided to buy them some more 868 KB JPG expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me dollar notes. And i've problamy racked up 200$ at this point. Is it morally wrong though, i mean. They're the ones who steals it from someone. Or perhaps they just got a big pile laying somewhere. Should i keep on doing this? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon gets trips | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/26/21(Tue)10:37:34 No.845555555 >lf this post gets trips, I cut my balls off with a rusty nail. roll
O Anonymous 01/26/21(Tue)10:37:34 No.845555555 >lf this post gets trips, I cut my balls off with a rusty nail. roll

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Anon is free | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)01:35:55 No.753827470 >>753827365 # >be american >internet is blocked >bored >go outside >get shot >>753827522 # >>753827523 #
: Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)01:35:55 No.753827470 >>753827365 # >be american >internet is blocked >bored >go outside >get shot >>753827522 # >>753827523 #

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Still better than Rotten Tomatoes | /r/Greentext

How do you rate your movies? >Watch the only first 10 minute of the movie >go to random dot org, roll a number between 1 and 10 >Go to imdb, punch the rolled number in >Go to 4 channel dot org, create a off topic thread about p---, politics or youtube. Derail other threads until ban >Reset router >Repeat This is the daily life of a kinoisseur
How do you rate your movies? >Watch the only first 10 minute of the movie >go to random dot org, roll a number between 1 and 10 >Go to imdb, punch the rolled number in >Go to 4 channel dot org, create a off topic thread about p---, politics or youtube. Derail other threads until ban >Reset router >Repeat This is the daily life of a kinoisseur

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Anon likes milk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ultimate virgin story 01/14/19(Mon)17:22:23 No.50422139 >Family is hiding the milk away from me because im a bit overweight >start crying 39 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)17:53:29 No.50422520 >>50422139 (OP) # >milk How much milk are you drinking fatty
: Anonymous ultimate virgin story 01/14/19(Mon)17:22:23 No.50422139 >Family is hiding the milk away from me because im a bit overweight >start crying 39 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)17:53:29 No.50422520 >>50422139 (OP) # >milk How much milk are you drinking fatty

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)18:16:05 No.846070977 I'm so confused right now. >Be me at bar >Walking to back patio to drink outside >A girl literally pulls me on top of her on a pool table 42 KB JPG >We start talking >This guy starts talking to me while I'm talking to her >Hey anon, this is my husband >She starts grinding on me while her husband is talking to me having a conversation like normal >She asks me to come home with her >Riding home with them thinking they're into cuckolding >We get there, she makes a bed on the couch and says "we'll see you in the morning anon" >They go upstairs and shut the door >She makes me breakfast in the morning and drives me home What?
: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)18:16:05 No.846070977 I'm so confused right now. >Be me at bar >Walking to back patio to drink outside >A girl literally pulls me on top of her on a pool table 42 KB JPG >We start talking >This guy starts talking to me while I'm talking to her >Hey anon, this is my husband >She starts grinding on me while her husband is talking to me having a conversation like normal >She asks me to come home with her >Riding home with them thinking they're into cuckolding >We get there, she makes a bed on the couch and says "we'll see you in the morning anon" >They go upstairs and shut the door >She makes me breakfast in the morning and drives me home What?

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