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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)18:16:05 No.846070977 I'm so confused right now. >Be me at bar >Walking to back patio to drink outside >A girl literally pulls me on top of her on a pool table 42 KB JPG >We start talking >This guy starts talking to me while I'm talking to her >Hey anon, this is my husband >She starts grinding on me while her husband is talking to me having a conversation like normal >She asks me to come home with her >Riding home with them thinking they're into cuckolding >We get there, she makes a bed on the couch and says "we'll see you in the morning anon" >They go upstairs and shut the door >She makes me breakfast in the morning and drives me home What?
: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)18:16:05 No.846070977 I'm so confused right now. >Be me at bar >Walking to back patio to drink outside >A girl literally pulls me on top of her on a pool table 42 KB JPG >We start talking >This guy starts talking to me while I'm talking to her >Hey anon, this is my husband >She starts grinding on me while her husband is talking to me having a conversation like normal >She asks me to come home with her >Riding home with them thinking they're into cuckolding >We get there, she makes a bed on the couch and says "we'll see you in the morning anon" >They go upstairs and shut the door >She makes me breakfast in the morning and drives me home What?

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How it feels to chew 5 gum | /r/Greentext

>be me >19 yo 6/10 >Go out to movie with bestie of 3 years >9/10 >Its technically a date 5 KB PNG >Dinner and movie >Get ice cream afterwards >Give her a glass flower I bought earlier in the month >She loves it and we go for a walk >Pull out 5GUM:TRUTH OR DARE PACK >Her wrapper says take a selfie with eyes closed >She does >I read mine It says to ask the most beautiful person in the room to kiss >We laugh it off but u remember the glass flower base has a mirror on the bottom side Where's the most beautiful girl at though? >Look at the mirrored base Oh look I found her! >Showed her the mirrored base of the flower >We smile and kiss for the first time ever >She reads the other part of the wrapper >"What's the most romantic moment you've shared with the person next to you?" >"This one right now" >mfw how it feels to chew 5gum Memecenter.com
>be me >19 yo 6/10 >Go out to movie with bestie of 3 years >9/10 >Its technically a date 5 KB PNG >Dinner and movie >Get ice cream afterwards >Give her a glass flower I bought earlier in the month >She loves it and we go for a walk >Pull out 5GUM:TRUTH OR DARE PACK >Her wrapper says take a selfie with eyes closed >She does >I read mine It says to ask the most beautiful person in the room to kiss >We laugh it off but u remember the glass flower base has a mirror on the bottom side Where's the most beautiful girl at though? >Look at the mirrored base Oh look I found her! >Showed her the mirrored base of the flower >We smile and kiss for the first time ever >She reads the other part of the wrapper >"What's the most romantic moment you've shared with the person next to you?" >"This one right now" >mfw how it feels to chew 5gum Memecenter.com

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Anons are excited for RE8 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)18:18:53 No.6075382 >>6075035 (OP) # >Resolve to quit chronic masturbating >Going well for 3 weeks >Cruel amazonian big t---- femdom mommy in trailer for game I'm excited for >Goon sessions for the last 2 days It's not fair bros! It was going so well! >>6076680 # : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)18:59:00 No.6075413 >>6075035 (OP) # Maybe it's because the game isn't even out yet. On another note, isn't she like twelve feet tall or something? Sex would be quite difficult. >that's a huge bitch >>6075631 # : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)20:05:39 No.6075500 >>6075035 (OP) # >that face >IT'S MA'AM
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)18:18:53 No.6075382 >>6075035 (OP) # >Resolve to quit chronic masturbating >Going well for 3 weeks >Cruel amazonian big t---- femdom mommy in trailer for game I'm excited for >Goon sessions for the last 2 days It's not fair bros! It was going so well! >>6076680 # : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)18:59:00 No.6075413 >>6075035 (OP) # Maybe it's because the game isn't even out yet. On another note, isn't she like twelve feet tall or something? Sex would be quite difficult. >that's a huge bitch >>6075631 # : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)20:05:39 No.6075500 >>6075035 (OP) # >that face >IT'S MA'AM

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Anon has a run in with a spooky ghost | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)06:32:04 No.27514908 >>27514413 I've posted these before but l'm gonna repost these so this thread doesn't f------ die > Be me 286 KB JPG > Work at a dock > Work the night shift > Despite being in a region known for its crime, the dock gets pretty quiet at night > My job is to basically just watch cameras, do patrols, and shoo away teens who come down to the docks to smoke weed etc > Boring af but it pays kinda good for where I live >Be working the graveyard shift > Basically nothing happens during these shifts because it's the middle of the f----- night > About to fall asleep due to how f------ boring it is > Hear footsteps > Don't give a s--- because it's probs one of the other guards or one of the workers > Hear footsteps fade away into the distance > Remember that I'm supposed to be alone in this part of the dock and that if anyone had entered the area they would've called it in on the radio > f---.mp4 > Open office door and look around > See a tall silhouette at the end of the walkway > It's just looking at me > Turns and walks around the corner > Remember l'm not a f------ baby and that this is the only job I could find in months > Go charging after the silhouette > Round corner > Dead-end > what > Literally the only way the person could've vanished like that is if they jumped off the railings and into the stormy sea below > Mfw this area is known for drownings due to how aggressive and deep the sea is > Mfw I would've heard them impact the water > Mfw this isn't the first or last time this has happened to me S--- like this happens so f------ often that I've considered leaving but it's the only job that'll accept me in the local area because my dad is friends with the owner
: Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)06:32:04 No.27514908 >>27514413 I've posted these before but l'm gonna repost these so this thread doesn't f------ die > Be me 286 KB JPG > Work at a dock > Work the night shift > Despite being in a region known for its crime, the dock gets pretty quiet at night > My job is to basically just watch cameras, do patrols, and shoo away teens who come down to the docks to smoke weed etc > Boring af but it pays kinda good for where I live >Be working the graveyard shift > Basically nothing happens during these shifts because it's the middle of the f----- night > About to fall asleep due to how f------ boring it is > Hear footsteps > Don't give a s--- because it's probs one of the other guards or one of the workers > Hear footsteps fade away into the distance > Remember that I'm supposed to be alone in this part of the dock and that if anyone had entered the area they would've called it in on the radio > f---.mp4 > Open office door and look around > See a tall silhouette at the end of the walkway > It's just looking at me > Turns and walks around the corner > Remember l'm not a f------ baby and that this is the only job I could find in months > Go charging after the silhouette > Round corner > Dead-end > what > Literally the only way the person could've vanished like that is if they jumped off the railings and into the stormy sea below > Mfw this area is known for drownings due to how aggressive and deep the sea is > Mfw I would've heard them impact the water > Mfw this isn't the first or last time this has happened to me S--- like this happens so f------ often that I've considered leaving but it's the only job that'll accept me in the local area because my dad is friends with the owner

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Anon fakes graduation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: CH1DqhUM ) E 02/01/21(Mon)11:25:10 No.306130978 >>306128270 (OP) # >Be Me >Be into computers and shitposting on 4chan all day >Start watching youtube videos and looking at college curriculum >Teach myself anything and everything computers >Get a job at local geek squad bby >Learn how they work >Try to go through curriculum of local college but online since everything is free >Print Fake Diploma Life is good bros. Now I make 100K$ a year (decent amount in my area but I know rich f--- will s--- on me) with my fake diploma and no one knows any better. Not one job l've had has drug tested or asked for my college transcripts.
: Anonymous (ID: CH1DqhUM ) E 02/01/21(Mon)11:25:10 No.306130978 >>306128270 (OP) # >Be Me >Be into computers and shitposting on 4chan all day >Start watching youtube videos and looking at college curriculum >Teach myself anything and everything computers >Get a job at local geek squad bby >Learn how they work >Try to go through curriculum of local college but online since everything is free >Print Fake Diploma Life is good bros. Now I make 100K$ a year (decent amount in my area but I know rich f--- will s--- on me) with my fake diploma and no one knows any better. Not one job l've had has drug tested or asked for my college transcripts.

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Anon is a chicken farmer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)15:43:27 No.846304228 >be me >34 y.o chinless hick chicken farmer >beta af >live with uggo gf who refuses to have sex with me because I am 404 KB PNG literally unfuckable >come home from work >see Ford truck in driveway >w--.jpg >we only drive soobs in this dump >go in house and see gf getting railed by Chad >gf screaming “f--- me with your big dock and define jaw line Chad" >feelsbadman >sneak outside without being noticed >decide to r--- gf's favourite chicken as revenge >cry after I c-- like I always do >next morning make eggs for Chad and gf That will teach her 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)15:43:27 No.846304228 >be me >34 y.o chinless hick chicken farmer >beta af >live with uggo gf who refuses to have sex with me because I am 404 KB PNG literally unfuckable >come home from work >see Ford truck in driveway >w--.jpg >we only drive soobs in this dump >go in house and see gf getting railed by Chad >gf screaming “f--- me with your big dock and define jaw line Chad" >feelsbadman >sneak outside without being noticed >decide to r--- gf's favourite chicken as revenge >cry after I c-- like I always do >next morning make eggs for Chad and gf That will teach her 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon pulls a prank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)20:45:03 No.846332308 293-2939233_8037140-pepe-laughing-png-transparent-png.jpg 171 KB JPG >at the mall pranking old people >call an old man a boomer and trip him >he gets up and says "it's not funny you're going to be old too one day" >tell him he's wrong >jump off 2 floor railing break my neck and die >get f------ pranked boomer
: Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)20:45:03 No.846332308 293-2939233_8037140-pepe-laughing-png-transparent-png.jpg 171 KB JPG >at the mall pranking old people >call an old man a boomer and trip him >he gets up and says "it's not funny you're going to be old too one day" >tell him he's wrong >jump off 2 floor railing break my neck and die >get f------ pranked boomer

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Anon hates apple | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Boy do I have story for you de(...) 01/12/19(Sat)02:15:35 No.69325789 Apple is the worst f------ company ever, maybe back when Steve Jobs was alive it was a little better and slightly respectable, but h--------, he must be rolling in his grave right now. 89 KB PNG >Be me >Few weeks ago >Go to Apple store to get battery replaced >Spend an hour and thirty minutes walking around, come back >They tell me the phone is missing some parts, so the battery is unreplaceable >Next day >Go to s----- PcFix, feces everywhere, legit the most dingiest f------ place alive >ask to get battery replaced > He goes in the back for fifteen to thirty minutes >Comes back, battery health is replaced and 100% capacity. >Ask if any parts were missing, they weren't. >Pay the 60$ and walk out Planned obsolescence is real boyos
: Anonymous Boy do I have story for you de(...) 01/12/19(Sat)02:15:35 No.69325789 Apple is the worst f------ company ever, maybe back when Steve Jobs was alive it was a little better and slightly respectable, but h--------, he must be rolling in his grave right now. 89 KB PNG >Be me >Few weeks ago >Go to Apple store to get battery replaced >Spend an hour and thirty minutes walking around, come back >They tell me the phone is missing some parts, so the battery is unreplaceable >Next day >Go to s----- PcFix, feces everywhere, legit the most dingiest f------ place alive >ask to get battery replaced > He goes in the back for fifteen to thirty minutes >Comes back, battery health is replaced and 100% capacity. >Ask if any parts were missing, they weren't. >Pay the 60$ and walk out Planned obsolescence is real boyos

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Anon has a friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:18 No.82949026 File :1294042721340.jpg-(29 KB, 303x293, 1293692004334.jpg) >go to friends house >he has a humidifier >pour two liter of rootbeer into it >leave
Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:18 No.82949026 File :1294042721340.jpg-(29 KB, 303x293, 1293692004334.jpg) >go to friends house >he has a humidifier >pour two liter of rootbeer into it >leave

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Anon want to be a clown | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 1ta/DtoM ) . 02/02/21(Tue)00:43:18 No.12055241 >be me >7 >forced to do karate >slack off every time >dad yells at me >asks me if i want to join clown 62 KB JPG school >i said yes >gets even angrier >mfw i dont get to join clown school
: Anonymous (ID: 1ta/DtoM ) . 02/02/21(Tue)00:43:18 No.12055241 >be me >7 >forced to do karate >slack off every time >dad yells at me >asks me if i want to join clown 62 KB JPG school >i said yes >gets even angrier >mfw i dont get to join clown school

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Anon likes the dark | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/20(Sun)18:19:17 No.56557256 >tfw I just want to mind my business, play pool alone in a dimly lit room and listen to radio head. *Door opens >A horde of loud mouthed annoying normies barge in and invade >"Woah, this looks like a perfect place to watch the Superbowl, why aren't you using the TV Anon? Don't you enjoy Chadball? It's so dark in here, Stacy turn the lights on will ya? *Blinding white light of invasive hope and optimism burning my skin like sunlight to a vampire. 121 KB PNG >Night officially ruined. .more
: Anonymous 02/02/20(Sun)18:19:17 No.56557256 >tfw I just want to mind my business, play pool alone in a dimly lit room and listen to radio head. *Door opens >A horde of loud mouthed annoying normies barge in and invade >"Woah, this looks like a perfect place to watch the Superbowl, why aren't you using the TV Anon? Don't you enjoy Chadball? It's so dark in here, Stacy turn the lights on will ya? *Blinding white light of invasive hope and optimism burning my skin like sunlight to a vampire. 121 KB PNG >Night officially ruined. .more

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Anon loses a match | /r/Greentext

>lose match >beat dog
>lose match >beat dog

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Rusia monky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: anzQaN2t 03/18/20(Wed)02:11:47 No.9778477 discuss 83 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous (ID: gVrMwJ/E )E 03/18/20(Wed)03:31:14 No.9778870 >>9778477 (0OP) # Rusia monky 30 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: anzQaN2t 03/18/20(Wed)02:11:47 No.9778477 discuss 83 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous (ID: gVrMwJ/E )E 03/18/20(Wed)03:31:14 No.9778870 >>9778477 (0OP) # Rusia monky 30 KB JPG

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Anon is working hard | /r/Greentext

>be me >friend invites me out for drinks >I have work in the morning >f--- it >get plastered >wake up for work next day >still very drunk 38 KB JPG >herewego.png >somehow make it to work in one piece >"Hey annon what's up?" >"good and you?" >awkward silence >suddenly have a bright idea >decide to power nap in storage closet to sober up >set alarm on phone for 30 minutes >wake up 10 hours later, hungover >slept through my alarm >s---.jpeg >think I'm gonna be fired >f--- it, time to go home >boss sees me on the way out >"Wow anon, you look beat. Thanks for staying late today. I appreciate it" >talks to me about a possible promotion >mfw work is easy
>be me >friend invites me out for drinks >I have work in the morning >f--- it >get plastered >wake up for work next day >still very drunk 38 KB JPG >herewego.png >somehow make it to work in one piece >"Hey annon what's up?" >"good and you?" >awkward silence >suddenly have a bright idea >decide to power nap in storage closet to sober up >set alarm on phone for 30 minutes >wake up 10 hours later, hungover >slept through my alarm >s---.jpeg >think I'm gonna be fired >f--- it, time to go home >boss sees me on the way out >"Wow anon, you look beat. Thanks for staying late today. I appreciate it" >talks to me about a possible promotion >mfw work is easy

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Anon is from r/teenagers | /r/Greentext

File: hahaha.png (92 KB, 853x800) O Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)22:25:23 No.62123048 [Reply] >>62123320 >omg shrek hahaha so funny O Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)22:56:57 No.62123320 File: 1601795833709.png (144 KB, 766x800) >>62123048 (OP) GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!!!!111!!!!!1!
File: hahaha.png (92 KB, 853x800) O Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)22:25:23 No.62123048 [Reply] >>62123320 >omg shrek hahaha so funny O Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)22:56:57 No.62123320 File: 1601795833709.png (144 KB, 766x800) >>62123048 (OP) GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!!!!111!!!!!1!

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Anon replied: ‘based’ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)18:05:44 No.846126827 >be me >write unpopular opinion >people reply with "based" >Feelsgood.gif Thank you. I feel a little less worthless 194 KB JPG now. : Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)18:06:32 No.846126862 >>846126827 (OP) # Based.
: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)18:05:44 No.846126827 >be me >write unpopular opinion >people reply with "based" >Feelsgood.gif Thank you. I feel a little less worthless 194 KB JPG now. : Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)18:06:32 No.846126862 >>846126827 (OP) # Based.

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Always chek before you rek | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)02:13:39 No.846284146 PAINI >gf of 1 1/2 years >refused to have sex with me >not religious or anything so I don't get it >year of trying has culminated to today >says ok >strip her naked >notice her cooch is f----- up AGONY, EVEN 115 KB JPG >ask about it >bitch tells me he's a f------ t----- >tell that f------ thing to get the hell out of my house >sulk in disappointment on my computer so that's my day. how you guys doing?
: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)02:13:39 No.846284146 PAINI >gf of 1 1/2 years >refused to have sex with me >not religious or anything so I don't get it >year of trying has culminated to today >says ok >strip her naked >notice her cooch is f----- up AGONY, EVEN 115 KB JPG >ask about it >bitch tells me he's a f------ t----- >tell that f------ thing to get the hell out of my house >sulk in disappointment on my computer so that's my day. how you guys doing?

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Anon becomes religions | /r/Greentext

Marcissus IN9EDLMFSKI 08/11/11(Thu)12:43 No.87673510 File1313080993.png-(9 KB, 288x350, 1310957042554 png) >walking down street >group of hot girls ahead on sidewalk >oh f--- >aspie overload >cross street to avoid social contact >they notice me crossing WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS >they giggle >f--- this Tl just pretend i live at this house go down random driveway >curtains shuffe *middle aged woman stars at me out the window >turn around fast 3 girls stood staring at me *this is their house >rapidly think of plan B *have you accepted jesus as your ford and saviour?
Marcissus IN9EDLMFSKI 08/11/11(Thu)12:43 No.87673510 File1313080993.png-(9 KB, 288x350, 1310957042554 png) >walking down street >group of hot girls ahead on sidewalk >oh f--- >aspie overload >cross street to avoid social contact >they notice me crossing WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS >they giggle >f--- this Tl just pretend i live at this house go down random driveway >curtains shuffe *middle aged woman stars at me out the window >turn around fast 3 girls stood staring at me *this is their house >rapidly think of plan B *have you accepted jesus as your ford and saviour?

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My mama says they were magic shoes. They could take me anywhere. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)23:01:29 No.59634322 >go for a jog >first time doing it >guy passes by me on a car and yells "RUN FORREST RUN" I'm never doing cardio again. F--- you, /fit/ 38 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)23:01:29 No.59634322 >go for a jog >first time doing it >guy passes by me on a car and yells "RUN FORREST RUN" I'm never doing cardio again. F--- you, /fit/ 38 KB JPG

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Anon likes Hannibal Buress | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)02:40:55 No.846285476 >be me >at grandma's funeral >see eldest brother >total f------ tool >truly don't like the guy >walk up to him to talk a bit >instant regret 150 KB JPG >his wife comes a few seconds later >see she is pregnant >need to lighten up the mood >"looks like somebody just had sex" >say it like Hannibal Buress for some reason >"ok anon" >they walk away 7 years have passed and I still cringe about it
: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)02:40:55 No.846285476 >be me >at grandma's funeral >see eldest brother >total f------ tool >truly don't like the guy >walk up to him to talk a bit >instant regret 150 KB JPG >his wife comes a few seconds later >see she is pregnant >need to lighten up the mood >"looks like somebody just had sex" >say it like Hannibal Buress for some reason >"ok anon" >they walk away 7 years have passed and I still cringe about it

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