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YLYL - dinner edition | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)23:46:44 No.15514671 >>15510560 (OP) # Food related not eating: >be 13 >hanging out with friends in the summer >we're all hungry >spend an hour going to each other's houses and scraping together just enough cash between us to walk to the local pizza shop and order a large pizza to split >walk like 4 miles through fields and some woods to get there from our neighborhood >order the pizza, wait around 20 mins for it to be ready >walking out the door >our klutz friend we made the mistake of letting carry the box trips >pizza flies out of the box and lands cheese side down in a patch of mud where the sidewalk cuts away around a tree >never let him forget about it for the past 20 years
: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)23:46:44 No.15514671 >>15510560 (OP) # Food related not eating: >be 13 >hanging out with friends in the summer >we're all hungry >spend an hour going to each other's houses and scraping together just enough cash between us to walk to the local pizza shop and order a large pizza to split >walk like 4 miles through fields and some woods to get there from our neighborhood >order the pizza, wait around 20 mins for it to be ready >walking out the door >our klutz friend we made the mistake of letting carry the box trips >pizza flies out of the box and lands cheese side down in a patch of mud where the sidewalk cuts away around a tree >never let him forget about it for the past 20 years

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Anon with his little tree | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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anon does not play games | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)01:32:54 No.542973931 File: uuuuuuu.png (276 KB, 444x466) >>542995163 >>543001340 >vidya discussion comes up at work >"haha yeah, the next Fifa blah blah blah, COD blah blah, Apex Legends this and that, Fornite skin dance floss LOL" >".anon you've been quiet today. I guess you don't play many video games then?" >10 speedruns submitted to leaderboards for 4 different games >".heh, yeah I guess not."
Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)01:32:54 No.542973931 File: uuuuuuu.png (276 KB, 444x466) >>542995163 >>543001340 >vidya discussion comes up at work >"haha yeah, the next Fifa blah blah blah, COD blah blah, Apex Legends this and that, Fornite skin dance floss LOL" >".anon you've been quiet today. I guess you don't play many video games then?" >10 speedruns submitted to leaderboards for 4 different games >".heh, yeah I guess not."

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Anon dodged a bullet | /r/Greentext

>be me >just graduated from high School >meet this girl through a friend of mine >we get along well >couple weeks later we start dating >she tells me about her ex, that 85 KB JPG apperently dumped her >Tell her im sorry >she sends me all these couple goals type of s--- Tik toks and even shares obvious interest in my hobbies(skiing, wakeboarding and gym) >we cuddle and watch movies and even cook together >obviossign.jpeg >after 2 weeks i ask her to be my gf >she says yes and we start to make out >feelsgoodman >drive home feeling happy and loved for one time >next day she calls me while im working out at my bros place >"anon i think its all going too fast between us“ >„ok take your time no pressure" >she continues ,that's sweet anon, but i think i don't wanna see you anymore" >w--.png >"a. al. right did i do sth wrong?" >"i just think we shouldn't be together and i don't really have feelings for you anymore, >she hangs up >im literally left speachless >the one timeI thought things were going well this s--- happens. I thought i had someone to talk to, i even planned her valentines present >I guess the gym is my therapy again >i mean what is the deal with woman these days
>be me >just graduated from high School >meet this girl through a friend of mine >we get along well >couple weeks later we start dating >she tells me about her ex, that 85 KB JPG apperently dumped her >Tell her im sorry >she sends me all these couple goals type of s--- Tik toks and even shares obvious interest in my hobbies(skiing, wakeboarding and gym) >we cuddle and watch movies and even cook together >obviossign.jpeg >after 2 weeks i ask her to be my gf >she says yes and we start to make out >feelsgoodman >drive home feeling happy and loved for one time >next day she calls me while im working out at my bros place >"anon i think its all going too fast between us“ >„ok take your time no pressure" >she continues ,that's sweet anon, but i think i don't wanna see you anymore" >w--.png >"a. al. right did i do sth wrong?" >"i just think we shouldn't be together and i don't really have feelings for you anymore, >she hangs up >im literally left speachless >the one timeI thought things were going well this s--- happens. I thought i had someone to talk to, i even planned her valentines present >I guess the gym is my therapy again >i mean what is the deal with woman these days

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Anon has dipressdeddedded | /r/Greentext

253243234554.jpg 18 KB JPG >open steam library >stare at games >open chrome >"google.com" >stare at screen >"youtube.com" >scroll down >close browser >stare at desktop icons of games >open steam library >repeat for 3 hours until it's socially acceptable to start making noise
253243234554.jpg 18 KB JPG >open steam library >stare at games >open chrome >"google.com" >stare at screen >"youtube.com" >scroll down >close browser >stare at desktop icons of games >open steam library >repeat for 3 hours until it's socially acceptable to start making noise

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Anon gets a taste of fame | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)19:11:52 No.846450793 >be me >post s----- greentext on reddit >get 20k upvotes >so thats pretty neat 284 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)19:11:52 No.846450793 >be me >post s----- greentext on reddit >get 20k upvotes >so thats pretty neat 284 KB PNG

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Anon about communists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: iib/Hmnc ) 02/04/21(Thu)13:03:18 No.306542480 >"Workers of the world unite" >doesn't work 205 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: iib/Hmnc ) 02/04/21(Thu)13:03:18 No.306542480 >"Workers of the world unite" >doesn't work 205 KB JPG View Thread

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Powers of persuasion | /r/Greentext


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Anon wants money | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: NxhBpv0e) 01/29/21(Fri)09:46:33 No.26948209 >tfw a new get rich quick scheme pops up every 10 minutes that you're not a part of 178 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: NxhBpv0e) 01/29/21(Fri)09:46:33 No.26948209 >tfw a new get rich quick scheme pops up every 10 minutes that you're not a part of 178 KB JPG

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Manual Matrix Glitch | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/17/13(Fri)15:28 No.12646957 One time I perpetrated a reality glitch on my gf. >Be in college >Walk gf to bus stop that takes her to the building her classroom is in. (It's a big college.) >She gets on bus. >I start sprinting towards a bike I had placed hours earlier at a bike rack. >Look behind me as I ride away, bus doesn't leave until about 30 seconds after I take off. >Make it to the building (1 mile from where I started) >Quickly lock bike up and go just inside the doorway of the building. >See bus approaching. >Walk outside >Just happen to run into gf >Say hey, what's up? >She is visibly shaken, and asks how I got here. >l explain that I had to use the building's computer lab after class and was just leaving. >She says she was just talking to me 3 minutes ago. >l just roll my eyes, chuckle and walk away. >Later learn she had a panic attack and threw up in the bathroom. >I haven't told her what really happened to this day.
Anonymous 05/17/13(Fri)15:28 No.12646957 One time I perpetrated a reality glitch on my gf. >Be in college >Walk gf to bus stop that takes her to the building her classroom is in. (It's a big college.) >She gets on bus. >I start sprinting towards a bike I had placed hours earlier at a bike rack. >Look behind me as I ride away, bus doesn't leave until about 30 seconds after I take off. >Make it to the building (1 mile from where I started) >Quickly lock bike up and go just inside the doorway of the building. >See bus approaching. >Walk outside >Just happen to run into gf >Say hey, what's up? >She is visibly shaken, and asks how I got here. >l explain that I had to use the building's computer lab after class and was just leaving. >She says she was just talking to me 3 minutes ago. >l just roll my eyes, chuckle and walk away. >Later learn she had a panic attack and threw up in the bathroom. >I haven't told her what really happened to this day.

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Anon remembers having confidence | /r/Greentext

No.62131000 1 hour ago missionsuceeded.jpg JPG 67.9 KİB 750x920 >Be me >15 >My friend group decides we are all gonna take turn giving each other compliments >My turn to compliment one of the girls >Can't think of anything to say >"Anon, its your turn" >Panic >Dumbidea.jpg >l say "You have a nice ass" >Everyone starts laughing >mfw she genuinely looks happy to have her ass complimented >Mission succeeded I wish I still had that kind of confidence
No.62131000 1 hour ago missionsuceeded.jpg JPG 67.9 KİB 750x920 >Be me >15 >My friend group decides we are all gonna take turn giving each other compliments >My turn to compliment one of the girls >Can't think of anything to say >"Anon, its your turn" >Panic >Dumbidea.jpg >l say "You have a nice ass" >Everyone starts laughing >mfw she genuinely looks happy to have her ass complimented >Mission succeeded I wish I still had that kind of confidence

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Anon is a hacker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/23/19(Fri)08:26:22 No.807817159 >hear that 4chan is filled with elite hackers >open browser and go to 4chan >my laptop camera scans my retina >"permission granted" >holy mackerel these guys are elite! >l get a message on my phone from an unknown number 381 KB JPG >"put all your fingers on the trackpad" >l put my fingers on the trackpad and my fingerprints are burned off >holy f--- >mfw they initiate me into their anti-establishment hacker group >mfw we're going to flip society on their head >lol just kidding >they're just a bunch of retards
: Anonymous 08/23/19(Fri)08:26:22 No.807817159 >hear that 4chan is filled with elite hackers >open browser and go to 4chan >my laptop camera scans my retina >"permission granted" >holy mackerel these guys are elite! >l get a message on my phone from an unknown number 381 KB JPG >"put all your fingers on the trackpad" >l put my fingers on the trackpad and my fingerprints are burned off >holy f--- >mfw they initiate me into their anti-establishment hacker group >mfw we're going to flip society on their head >lol just kidding >they're just a bunch of retards

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Anon rigs the economy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: egPLaWtA 02/04/21(Thu)01:57:08 No.27695254 >be elon >Buy a s--- ton of dogecoin >Say that 100 dogecoin is now worth a Tesla >Dogecoin jump to at least 600 a share cuz it's now backed by a tesla >Elon sells off all dogecoin, still turns a 57 KB JPG massive profit despite giving away some cars Tell Me one reason why this wouldn't work?
: Anonymous (ID: egPLaWtA 02/04/21(Thu)01:57:08 No.27695254 >be elon >Buy a s--- ton of dogecoin >Say that 100 dogecoin is now worth a Tesla >Dogecoin jump to at least 600 a share cuz it's now backed by a tesla >Elon sells off all dogecoin, still turns a 57 KB JPG massive profit despite giving away some cars Tell Me one reason why this wouldn't work?

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Anon is the average student | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)20:30:36 No.49047062 >Have a whole week to do an assignment >Wait until the last 4 hours >have panic attack and total meltdown because 4 hours isn't enough to do it >have to try 58 KB PNG >do it in 2 hours >get 95% on the assignment >one week to do assignment >wait until the last 2 hours
: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)20:30:36 No.49047062 >Have a whole week to do an assignment >Wait until the last 4 hours >have panic attack and total meltdown because 4 hours isn't enough to do it >have to try 58 KB PNG >do it in 2 hours >get 95% on the assignment >one week to do assignment >wait until the last 2 hours

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Anon is a coomer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 490220562 10 órával ezelőtt >>490219614 >have a coomer skyrim fully modded out to fulfill my degenerate fantasies >younger cousin sees the icon on my desktop and wants to play >sure h-haha go get a chair whileI start up the game >start up mod organizer 2 and quickly change profiles so he can play a vanilla game >watch over him play like a f------ eagle for any sign of not so vanilla-friendly things 129,1 kB PNG I'm glad modders think of everything but goddamn I nearly had a heart attack
Anonymous 490220562 10 órával ezelőtt >>490219614 >have a coomer skyrim fully modded out to fulfill my degenerate fantasies >younger cousin sees the icon on my desktop and wants to play >sure h-haha go get a chair whileI start up the game >start up mod organizer 2 and quickly change profiles so he can play a vanilla game >watch over him play like a f------ eagle for any sign of not so vanilla-friendly things 129,1 kB PNG I'm glad modders think of everything but goddamn I nearly had a heart attack

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Anon plays Skyrim | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)01:05:38 No.54297093 823DCBOD-47BO-4ABF-B787-197C339421BC.jpg 250 KB JPG Which race is the most cringe? : Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)01:06:12 No.542971003 You, OP >>542972214 #
: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)01:05:38 No.54297093 823DCBOD-47BO-4ABF-B787-197C339421BC.jpg 250 KB JPG Which race is the most cringe? : Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)01:06:12 No.542971003 You, OP >>542972214 #

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Anon is denied a proper education | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 1ta/DtoM) 02/02/21(Tue)00:43:18 No.12055241 >be me >7 >forced to do karate >slack off every time >dad yells at me >asks me if i want to join clown school >i said yes 62 KB JPG >gets even angrier >mfw i dont get to join clown school
: Anonymous (ID: 1ta/DtoM) 02/02/21(Tue)00:43:18 No.12055241 >be me >7 >forced to do karate >slack off every time >dad yells at me >asks me if i want to join clown school >i said yes 62 KB JPG >gets even angrier >mfw i dont get to join clown school

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Killing brain cells is my business...and business is good | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)15:17:00 No.62161022 >be me >College student >transfer out of school to a traditional online college expirence one of the in-state schools has cuz I'm not getting overcharged to 40 KB JPG attend zoom classes >Take a java course cuz compsci f----- >Get assignment on Monday, write a couple classes and use them to make a bigger class. No problem, just a bit time consuming >Look at paragraph long instruction page when finished >At the bottom it says something along the lines of write use the class Tester class to test your code >Have no f------ idea what the means or what I'm supposed to write, no info provided for that class beyond one sentence >Send email to professor asking what I'm supposed to do >Next day get a response >"Anon, Can you be more specific, i don't know what assignment you're talking about" >Email him the assignment name and what module it's in >Another day later he respondeds "oh, i gave you the assignments out of order, do this one instead" >Do said assignment, ask him when the other one is due >A day later he says it's still due Sunday >Still have no f------ clue what lI'm doing, send professor my code >Next day get an email saying "you need to go to a tutor anon, I'm sure they'll help you understand it" >Use online tutoring program, the tutors have no clue what I'm supposed to do >Tell professor that they have no idea what I'm supposed to do either >Professor finally responds "hey I finally took a look at your code. It does what it's supposed to, you don't need to use the testerclass, this is actually my first time looking at the assignment instructions and I have no idea why that's there. Why am I paying for this?
: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)15:17:00 No.62161022 >be me >College student >transfer out of school to a traditional online college expirence one of the in-state schools has cuz I'm not getting overcharged to 40 KB JPG attend zoom classes >Take a java course cuz compsci f----- >Get assignment on Monday, write a couple classes and use them to make a bigger class. No problem, just a bit time consuming >Look at paragraph long instruction page when finished >At the bottom it says something along the lines of write use the class Tester class to test your code >Have no f------ idea what the means or what I'm supposed to write, no info provided for that class beyond one sentence >Send email to professor asking what I'm supposed to do >Next day get a response >"Anon, Can you be more specific, i don't know what assignment you're talking about" >Email him the assignment name and what module it's in >Another day later he respondeds "oh, i gave you the assignments out of order, do this one instead" >Do said assignment, ask him when the other one is due >A day later he says it's still due Sunday >Still have no f------ clue what lI'm doing, send professor my code >Next day get an email saying "you need to go to a tutor anon, I'm sure they'll help you understand it" >Use online tutoring program, the tutors have no clue what I'm supposed to do >Tell professor that they have no idea what I'm supposed to do either >Professor finally responds "hey I finally took a look at your code. It does what it's supposed to, you don't need to use the testerclass, this is actually my first time looking at the assignment instructions and I have no idea why that's there. Why am I paying for this?

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anon learns the harsh truth | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)07:04:04 No.543003961 File: file.png (32 KB, 688x578) >>543002637 >leamed how to use a flash drive as a kid >figured I could finally play all the games I wanted in the computer lab >copied over all the file shortcuts >mfw it didn't work
O Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)07:04:04 No.543003961 File: file.png (32 KB, 688x578) >>543002637 >leamed how to use a flash drive as a kid >figured I could finally play all the games I wanted in the computer lab >copied over all the file shortcuts >mfw it didn't work

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Anon is an entrepreneur | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21 (Wed)22:07:50 No.846494030 EZ money >make a bunch of Reddit accounts >make a bunch of very fake tweets with black people as the profile pic >upload to r/blackpeopletwitter >gain a bunch of karma on the accounts 11 KB JPG >sell them for $10 each >been doing this for six months, made $620 for doing almost nothing
: Anonymous 02/03/21 (Wed)22:07:50 No.846494030 EZ money >make a bunch of Reddit accounts >make a bunch of very fake tweets with black people as the profile pic >upload to r/blackpeopletwitter >gain a bunch of karma on the accounts 11 KB JPG >sell them for $10 each >been doing this for six months, made $620 for doing almost nothing

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