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Anon identified as Orca | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:26:07 No.778248228 f-----.jpg 327 KB JPG >Go out of map bounds >High level enemy spawns that kills you almost immediately : Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:27:34 No.778248229 >778248228 (OP) # F--- off. There has never been a documented orca attack on a human in the wild. Orca's don't view humans as food nor as a threat. They mostly just ignore any humans in the water that we see. >>778248231 # >>778248232 # >>778248234 # >>778248235 # >778248236 # >778248237 # >>778248244 # >>778248245 # >>778248246 # >778248248 # Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:40:22 No.778248244 >>778248253 # >>778248254 # >>778248263 # >>778248264 # >>778248229 >778248272 # >778248282 # >>778248292 # >>778248297 # >we >>778248301 # >>778248302 # >>778248310 # >>778248314 # 207 KB PNG >>778248321 # >778248351 # >778248397 # >>778248611 # >>778248815 # >>778248875 # >>778249065 # >>778250198 # >>778250913 # >>778251090 # >>778251464 #
: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:26:07 No.778248228 f-----.jpg 327 KB JPG >Go out of map bounds >High level enemy spawns that kills you almost immediately : Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:27:34 No.778248229 >778248228 (OP) # F--- off. There has never been a documented orca attack on a human in the wild. Orca's don't view humans as food nor as a threat. They mostly just ignore any humans in the water that we see. >>778248231 # >>778248232 # >>778248234 # >>778248235 # >778248236 # >778248237 # >>778248244 # >>778248245 # >>778248246 # >778248248 # Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:40:22 No.778248244 >>778248253 # >>778248254 # >>778248263 # >>778248264 # >>778248229 >778248272 # >778248282 # >>778248292 # >>778248297 # >we >>778248301 # >>778248302 # >>778248310 # >>778248314 # 207 KB PNG >>778248321 # >778248351 # >778248397 # >>778248611 # >>778248815 # >>778248875 # >>778249065 # >>778250198 # >>778250913 # >>778251090 # >>778251464 #

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Anon has police | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/16/18(Sat)23:38:28 No.46166727 >>46166446 # >Be at your house shitposting and watching animu >Doorknoking.wav >ask who is. 65 KB PNG >"FBI we are looking for anon, we need to make him some questions" >lts me but show me an id >open a little bit the door to see ID. >Feds show id >"Sorry but i dont know if those are real, i never saw a fbi badge before" >"This ones are real Anon, can you open anon?" >"Sorry i dont trust you, are you armed?" >"Yes, we are special agents". >"Ok, show me the guns" >Fed show the guns. >Close the door, call the 911, tell them two armed guys are trying to brake into my house. >Cops arrive, ask for id to feds. >black special agent reach to his wallet to show badge. got shot 4 times by local police. >mfw
: Anonymous 06/16/18(Sat)23:38:28 No.46166727 >>46166446 # >Be at your house shitposting and watching animu >Doorknoking.wav >ask who is. 65 KB PNG >"FBI we are looking for anon, we need to make him some questions" >lts me but show me an id >open a little bit the door to see ID. >Feds show id >"Sorry but i dont know if those are real, i never saw a fbi badge before" >"This ones are real Anon, can you open anon?" >"Sorry i dont trust you, are you armed?" >"Yes, we are special agents". >"Ok, show me the guns" >Fed show the guns. >Close the door, call the 911, tell them two armed guys are trying to brake into my house. >Cops arrive, ask for id to feds. >black special agent reach to his wallet to show badge. got shot 4 times by local police. >mfw

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Anon has life goals | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)23:20:27 No.846499011 >be me >be told i'm smart all my life >greatly encouraged to get at least a Master's in some science >go to university >f------ hate it 185 KB PNG >realize what i really want to do with my life is be creative and make stories >movies, cartoons, video games >student loans for university means i can't afford art school >not even sure where to even start other than art school >move back in with parents >help dad with feature in computer program >"wow anon you're so smart. why don't you go for a computer science major? you can make a lot of money" >for a week he tries to convince me to get a programming job or degree instead of current food service job >finally admit my dream to write stories to him >"oh" >"not sure how to respond to that" mfw
: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)23:20:27 No.846499011 >be me >be told i'm smart all my life >greatly encouraged to get at least a Master's in some science >go to university >f------ hate it 185 KB PNG >realize what i really want to do with my life is be creative and make stories >movies, cartoons, video games >student loans for university means i can't afford art school >not even sure where to even start other than art school >move back in with parents >help dad with feature in computer program >"wow anon you're so smart. why don't you go for a computer science major? you can make a lot of money" >for a week he tries to convince me to get a programming job or degree instead of current food service job >finally admit my dream to write stories to him >"oh" >"not sure how to respond to that" mfw

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Anon’s dad likes MILFs. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: q1S8wdt2 07/20/14(Sun)00:27:43 No.557553041 >>557551179 (OP) # >walk by the den one day >computer is within view of the door 55 KB JPG >dad is on the computer, doesnt hear mewalk by >viewing some creepshots of milfy news anchors thighs on google images >can see his has 3 other pages pushed to the side from other p--- sites. He's viewing them all at once in a frenzy >chuckle, and walk away >week later I come in late at night, stoned like a cheating muslim women >dad is standing in the kitchen with a baggie from my stash >"anon, just what the hell is this?" >"..well, I can tell you what its not.. a google search of your favorite news anchors thighs" >dead silence hangs in the air, he gives me a nod and leaves the room >mfw >never speak about ethier incident again probably the closest father and son moment we've ever had
Anonymous (ID: q1S8wdt2 07/20/14(Sun)00:27:43 No.557553041 >>557551179 (OP) # >walk by the den one day >computer is within view of the door 55 KB JPG >dad is on the computer, doesnt hear mewalk by >viewing some creepshots of milfy news anchors thighs on google images >can see his has 3 other pages pushed to the side from other p--- sites. He's viewing them all at once in a frenzy >chuckle, and walk away >week later I come in late at night, stoned like a cheating muslim women >dad is standing in the kitchen with a baggie from my stash >"anon, just what the hell is this?" >"..well, I can tell you what its not.. a google search of your favorite news anchors thighs" >dead silence hangs in the air, he gives me a nod and leaves the room >mfw >never speak about ethier incident again probably the closest father and son moment we've ever had

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Anon has fucke op | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 765290685 Prije 1 h >be me >be in walmart today >witness a troglodyte >some stacy with her friends >hear her say world war vietnam was a mistake >no one laughed >they agreed We need another meteor 45,9 kB JPG F------ world war vietnam 2 REPLIES
Anonymous 765290685 Prije 1 h >be me >be in walmart today >witness a troglodyte >some stacy with her friends >hear her say world war vietnam was a mistake >no one laughed >they agreed We need another meteor 45,9 kB JPG F------ world war vietnam 2 REPLIES

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Anon has autism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)22:18:34 No.62172469 >tfw invited a girl over and unironically showed her my meme frog folder 91 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)22:18:34 No.62172469 >tfw invited a girl over and unironically showed her my meme frog folder 91 KB JPG

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Anon has social issues | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Mz+F72xl) 04/23/14(Wed)02:24:34 No.543522159 >be 3 years old >standing in the living room next to leather sofa >for no apparent reason think to myself "i will remember this moment" >still do
Anonymous (ID: Mz+F72xl) 04/23/14(Wed)02:24:34 No.543522159 >be 3 years old >standing in the living room next to leather sofa >for no apparent reason think to myself "i will remember this moment" >still do

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Anon wants some pancakes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)19:48:24 No.15514415 "Can I have the fruit pancakes please?" >"The what? There's nothing on the menu called "fruit pancakes". "Th-the fresh fruit pancakes." >"Huh..." "Th-this one..." [points to menu] >"Say it." 39 KB JPG "What?" >"Say. It." "I'd like a... r-....rooty t-tooty..." >"Say it like you mean it." [starting to cry] "I-I want a r-r-rooty t-tooty f-f-.f- fresh n... n fruity..." Why do dining establishments like to humiliate their customers like this?
: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)19:48:24 No.15514415 "Can I have the fruit pancakes please?" >"The what? There's nothing on the menu called "fruit pancakes". "Th-the fresh fruit pancakes." >"Huh..." "Th-this one..." [points to menu] >"Say it." 39 KB JPG "What?" >"Say. It." "I'd like a... r-....rooty t-tooty..." >"Say it like you mean it." [starting to cry] "I-I want a r-r-rooty t-tooty f-f-.f- fresh n... n fruity..." Why do dining establishments like to humiliate their customers like this?

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trumppilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Q4FKORWE ) O 01/19/21(Tue)19:52:27 No.303710554 im beginning to think there was no 4d chess being played and trump was just retarded 8 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: Q4FKORWE ) O 01/19/21(Tue)19:52:27 No.303710554 im beginning to think there was no 4d chess being played and trump was just retarded 8 KB JPG

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Anon introduces his friend to anime | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)17:05:12 No.62174156 >hang out with chad friend from college >he's getting really into anime because of Netflix specials >he shows me his phone 92 KB JPG >He and his core friend group have a GroupMe where they trade pictures of anime girls >if someone was declared "best girl "and the comment got enough likes, the groupchat's theme and stream would change to her >they'd get into really brutal spats over who best girl was >lt was literally a waifu thread but with chadspeak >"I figured you'd approve" >I did externally >my face internally What the f--- is happening
: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)17:05:12 No.62174156 >hang out with chad friend from college >he's getting really into anime because of Netflix specials >he shows me his phone 92 KB JPG >He and his core friend group have a GroupMe where they trade pictures of anime girls >if someone was declared "best girl "and the comment got enough likes, the groupchat's theme and stream would change to her >they'd get into really brutal spats over who best girl was >lt was literally a waifu thread but with chadspeak >"I figured you'd approve" >I did externally >my face internally What the f--- is happening

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Anon has best friends | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.
Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.

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Anon goes to McDonald's | /r/Greentext

File: 9f5.jpg (62 KB, 800x450) Anonymous 09/20/20(Sun)16:27:12 No.836366234 > be me > hanging at mcdonalds > see two gorls sitting near by > 8/10 and 6/10 respectively > 8/10 gets up to go to the bathroom > showtime.jpg > get up from my seat and lock eyes with 6/10 > approach her head on and sit down in her friend's seat > start rapidly shovelling 8/10's fries into my mouth > 6/10 is too shocked to do anything > when all the fries are gone I go back to my seat and resume eating my meal > 8/10 comes back and sees her fries are gone, starts yelling at her friend > you bitch why did you eat all my fries > it wasn't me it was that guy! She points at me > her friend just straight up doesn't believe her > accuses her of lying and walks out of the restaurant > 6/10 still sitting there, staring at me dumbfounded > casually finish eating my meal and leave > know she'll remember me for rest of her life > mfw girls think l'm unforgettable
File: 9f5.jpg (62 KB, 800x450) Anonymous 09/20/20(Sun)16:27:12 No.836366234 > be me > hanging at mcdonalds > see two gorls sitting near by > 8/10 and 6/10 respectively > 8/10 gets up to go to the bathroom > showtime.jpg > get up from my seat and lock eyes with 6/10 > approach her head on and sit down in her friend's seat > start rapidly shovelling 8/10's fries into my mouth > 6/10 is too shocked to do anything > when all the fries are gone I go back to my seat and resume eating my meal > 8/10 comes back and sees her fries are gone, starts yelling at her friend > you bitch why did you eat all my fries > it wasn't me it was that guy! She points at me > her friend just straight up doesn't believe her > accuses her of lying and walks out of the restaurant > 6/10 still sitting there, staring at me dumbfounded > casually finish eating my meal and leave > know she'll remember me for rest of her life > mfw girls think l'm unforgettable

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Anon has gets causgt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I found some irony 05/15/18(Tue)07:19:03 No.45411384 >go to iFunny >post a green text >get called a Reddit user >get called a normie I got called a normie on the swire TO MEKT normiest site 136 KB JPG
: Anonymous I found some irony 05/15/18(Tue)07:19:03 No.45411384 >go to iFunny >post a green text >get called a Reddit user >get called a normie I got called a normie on the swire TO MEKT normiest site 136 KB JPG

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Anon plays minecraft | /r/Greentext

>be 11 year old me >Minecraft 1.0 comes out >want to get it >mom doesn't get me it at first >feelsbad.png >Easter rolls around >mom hands me a paper >its a username and password >mom got me an account for Easter >thanks mom 9.9 kB JPG >play minecraft all the time >make lots of memories and friends playing minecraft >fast forward to now >redownload Minecraft for the hell of it >look around for paper with username and password >find it >username is my name spelled backwards >lol >password.. >"lovemom" >love you mom
>be 11 year old me >Minecraft 1.0 comes out >want to get it >mom doesn't get me it at first >feelsbad.png >Easter rolls around >mom hands me a paper >its a username and password >mom got me an account for Easter >thanks mom 9.9 kB JPG >play minecraft all the time >make lots of memories and friends playing minecraft >fast forward to now >redownload Minecraft for the hell of it >look around for paper with username and password >find it >username is my name spelled backwards >lol >password.. >"lovemom" >love you mom

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Anon has a racist professor | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a job | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work 1 reply Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds
Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work 1 reply Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds

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Anon has runas | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 hours ago 772881820 >Working graveyard. >Little skank walks in to buy cigs. >She's wearing a thong bottom and a bandana for a top. >She gets Camel 99's, needs matches. >She strolls outside, lit up a smoke. >l follow, light up my own. >Smoking together, like nothing. >She takes off the bandana, and reties it. >Nice t---. >Are you gay Anon? >No lady, I'm liking the show. >That isn't the show, what happens when you lay me down is the show. >Hands me hotel key. >Walks away. >Get off work, head up street to hotel. >Open door to room, she's asleep. >Now what? >Note on TV, take a shower and crawl in naked. >What the hell >Take shower. >Crawl into bed naked, she's naked. >She turned over, not the right girl. >She screams, I run. >Nightly news says young lady got her purse stolen at bar, then attacked by naked man at hotel. >Police sketch sucks, no worries. >Lived in fear for 5years. >Never got popped.
Anonymous 6 hours ago 772881820 >Working graveyard. >Little skank walks in to buy cigs. >She's wearing a thong bottom and a bandana for a top. >She gets Camel 99's, needs matches. >She strolls outside, lit up a smoke. >l follow, light up my own. >Smoking together, like nothing. >She takes off the bandana, and reties it. >Nice t---. >Are you gay Anon? >No lady, I'm liking the show. >That isn't the show, what happens when you lay me down is the show. >Hands me hotel key. >Walks away. >Get off work, head up street to hotel. >Open door to room, she's asleep. >Now what? >Note on TV, take a shower and crawl in naked. >What the hell >Take shower. >Crawl into bed naked, she's naked. >She turned over, not the right girl. >She screams, I run. >Nightly news says young lady got her purse stolen at bar, then attacked by naked man at hotel. >Police sketch sucks, no worries. >Lived in fear for 5years. >Never got popped.

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Anon orange in the ti | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)13:52:45 No.134576054 >in Croatia with my parents >walking down the street >a croat woman is tending to some little tree in her garden >my dad approaches her near the fence and says with thick slavic accent >"ORANGE?" >she says "yes" 55 KB JPG >we walk away ORANGE? yes. بن شاببرو مز عج اورانج بن شابيرو مزعج آورائج
: Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)13:52:45 No.134576054 >in Croatia with my parents >walking down the street >a croat woman is tending to some little tree in her garden >my dad approaches her near the fence and says with thick slavic accent >"ORANGE?" >she says "yes" 55 KB JPG >we walk away ORANGE? yes. بن شاببرو مز عج اورانج بن شابيرو مزعج آورائج

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Anon has skanina | /r/Greentext

A Anonymous I 197235376 2 hr. ago >>197232712 >tfw go to pub >tfw make bet with memesters that I can fit 20 £1 coins in my foreskin >ffw they say I can't >tfw tell them to get me 20 £1 coins and l'll prove it >tfw they give me 20 £1 coins >tfw put one under the foreskin >tfw take it out and put it to one side >tfw do this for the remaining 19 £1 coins >tfw "Oh, I guess you guys were right. Here, take your money back" >tfw no one wants it because it's been in my foreskin >tfw leave pub £20 richer by virtue of not being Jewish I tell you, those Rabbis missed an absolute racket by mutilating themselves.
A Anonymous I 197235376 2 hr. ago >>197232712 >tfw go to pub >tfw make bet with memesters that I can fit 20 £1 coins in my foreskin >ffw they say I can't >tfw tell them to get me 20 £1 coins and l'll prove it >tfw they give me 20 £1 coins >tfw put one under the foreskin >tfw take it out and put it to one side >tfw do this for the remaining 19 £1 coins >tfw "Oh, I guess you guys were right. Here, take your money back" >tfw no one wants it because it's been in my foreskin >tfw leave pub £20 richer by virtue of not being Jewish I tell you, those Rabbis missed an absolute racket by mutilating themselves.

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The student known as 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21 (Wed)21:32:53 No.62165987 >in ZOOM class for online uni lecture >everyone keeps webcam off except for prof >beginning last week, one guy would turn on his webcam, pick his You can call mei laser but in the gaming Morld real bfe all yount you're the loser 50 KB JPG nose, then turn it off >never speaks. looks like your average robot (fat, black circles under eyes, blatantly thinning long hair) >does this in random intervals roughly every 10 minutes >sometimes bites his nails or cleans his ears before turning the camera off again I just don't understand. Is it some sort of fetish, display of dominance? It's been going on way too regularly to be coincidental.
: Anonymous 02/03/21 (Wed)21:32:53 No.62165987 >in ZOOM class for online uni lecture >everyone keeps webcam off except for prof >beginning last week, one guy would turn on his webcam, pick his You can call mei laser but in the gaming Morld real bfe all yount you're the loser 50 KB JPG nose, then turn it off >never speaks. looks like your average robot (fat, black circles under eyes, blatantly thinning long hair) >does this in random intervals roughly every 10 minutes >sometimes bites his nails or cleans his ears before turning the camera off again I just don't understand. Is it some sort of fetish, display of dominance? It's been going on way too regularly to be coincidental.

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