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Anons friend is a pedo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)23:20:48 No.146199804 >>146198196 (OP)_# >80s movie night in college >drinking and chilling with the lads >time for Labyrinth >one bro keeps talking about how hot JConn is 1.06 MB JPG >inform him that she's only like 15 >laugh at his awkward boner >take turns sucking him off >jokingly threaten to tell his gf he's a p--- she was great in that role desu >>146200005 #
: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)23:20:48 No.146199804 >>146198196 (OP)_# >80s movie night in college >drinking and chilling with the lads >time for Labyrinth >one bro keeps talking about how hot JConn is 1.06 MB JPG >inform him that she's only like 15 >laugh at his awkward boner >take turns sucking him off >jokingly threaten to tell his gf he's a p--- she was great in that role desu >>146200005 #

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Fucking england | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)02:50:19 No.62211469 >be me >britbong >lose my walking license >need to go the shop for cigarettes >decide to risk it 48 KB JPG >trying to speed walk so I don't get caught >copper legit turns the corner right in front of me >asks why i'm walking so quickly >asks to see my walking license >explain that l've lost it >immediate 200 quid fine >f--- >get to the shop >door only opens using a door license >f--- >l forgot it >beg the guy behind the counter to let me in >he does >get in the queue >luckily I remembered my queuing license >get to the front of the queue >ask for the cigs >he asks for my c-------- license >hand it to him >It's expired >f--- f--- f--- >get fined another 200 quid for swearing without my profanity license I f------ hate this country. 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)02:50:19 No.62211469 >be me >britbong >lose my walking license >need to go the shop for cigarettes >decide to risk it 48 KB JPG >trying to speed walk so I don't get caught >copper legit turns the corner right in front of me >asks why i'm walking so quickly >asks to see my walking license >explain that l've lost it >immediate 200 quid fine >f--- >get to the shop >door only opens using a door license >f--- >l forgot it >beg the guy behind the counter to let me in >he does >get in the queue >luckily I remembered my queuing license >get to the front of the queue >ask for the cigs >he asks for my c-------- license >hand it to him >It's expired >f--- f--- f--- >get fined another 200 quid for swearing without my profanity license I f------ hate this country. 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon has a nap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous First time sleeping naked 02/07/21(Sun)01:36:14 No.62211298 >be me, 7 years old >see people sleeping naked in movies and wonder what that feels like >try it out one night >think for some odd reason 42 KB JPG that my mom will get mad if she sees me sleeping naked >decide to sleep in the closet so she doesn't see me >next morning she goes to wake me up and i'm not in my bed >she freaks out and searches everywhere >she comes back to my room later and opens the closet >she sees me sleeping naked inside >she gets so mad at me and yells so much that to this day i'm afraid of sleeping naked
: Anonymous First time sleeping naked 02/07/21(Sun)01:36:14 No.62211298 >be me, 7 years old >see people sleeping naked in movies and wonder what that feels like >try it out one night >think for some odd reason 42 KB JPG that my mom will get mad if she sees me sleeping naked >decide to sleep in the closet so she doesn't see me >next morning she goes to wake me up and i'm not in my bed >she freaks out and searches everywhere >she comes back to my room later and opens the closet >she sees me sleeping naked inside >she gets so mad at me and yells so much that to this day i'm afraid of sleeping naked

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Anon is Buddhist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/18(Sun)17:48:16 No.775076483 >be me >Buddhist >one with everything >idea.jpeg > If I'm one with evrything, I'm technically one with Chad >Technically have f----- millions 42 KB JPG of girls See ya later, virgins >But wait > If I'm one with everything, I'm also one with Stacey > I've technically had Chad inside me >That'sgayaf.png >Immediately give up Buddhism for atheism > mfw Buddhism is fake and gay
: Anonymous 07/22/18(Sun)17:48:16 No.775076483 >be me >Buddhist >one with everything >idea.jpeg > If I'm one with evrything, I'm technically one with Chad >Technically have f----- millions 42 KB JPG of girls See ya later, virgins >But wait > If I'm one with everything, I'm also one with Stacey > I've technically had Chad inside me >That'sgayaf.png >Immediately give up Buddhism for atheism > mfw Buddhism is fake and gay

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Anon commits genocide | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)23:33:21 No.10404121 File: ffikff.png (146 KB, 461x426) >> >>10399570 >Be Russians in Siberia. >Kill 3 people. >3/4 of the Yakut population is wiped out.
Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)23:33:21 No.10404121 File: ffikff.png (146 KB, 461x426) >> >>10399570 >Be Russians in Siberia. >Kill 3 people. >3/4 of the Yakut population is wiped out.

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Anon is Catholic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/15/19(Sun)21:41:42 No.111347623 >Yes l'm a Catholic. How could you tell? 71 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/15/19(Sun)21:41:42 No.111347623 >Yes l'm a Catholic. How could you tell? 71 KB JPG

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Anon goes to Vegas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 4vrFLPVK regret 02/06/21(Sat) 15:52:01 No.27937035 >finally reach 7-figure purgatory thanks to /biz/ >decide it's time to reward myself >spend months planning a degenerate trip to vegas >ready to fulfill my lifelong dream of 3 chicks at the same time 10 KB JPG >check in to my hotel >friday night muthafucka >booked 3 milfs with big asses for my first night, never had sex before >start drinking some japanese nikka whisky to celebrate my portfolio >the girls show up, they're more or less how they looked in the pictures (maybe slightly less but still acceptable) >have all 3 of them lined up in thongs >ready to bury my face in their asses all night, etc. >blasting Def Leppard >peel the first one's thong off and start eating her ass >immediately overwhelmed with shame and regret on some kind of holy cosmic level that I've never experienced before >try to ignore it and switch over to the second one >immediate sinking feeling in my stomach thinking about what I'm doing and the $$$$ I've wasted on this >completely lose interest and ask all 3 of them to leave >incredibly awkward atmosphere while they check to make sure l'm not just nervous etc. >have been on my laptop browsing /biz/ trying to forget about it since 2am last night >still haunted what are we doing this for bros
: Anonymous (ID: 4vrFLPVK regret 02/06/21(Sat) 15:52:01 No.27937035 >finally reach 7-figure purgatory thanks to /biz/ >decide it's time to reward myself >spend months planning a degenerate trip to vegas >ready to fulfill my lifelong dream of 3 chicks at the same time 10 KB JPG >check in to my hotel >friday night muthafucka >booked 3 milfs with big asses for my first night, never had sex before >start drinking some japanese nikka whisky to celebrate my portfolio >the girls show up, they're more or less how they looked in the pictures (maybe slightly less but still acceptable) >have all 3 of them lined up in thongs >ready to bury my face in their asses all night, etc. >blasting Def Leppard >peel the first one's thong off and start eating her ass >immediately overwhelmed with shame and regret on some kind of holy cosmic level that I've never experienced before >try to ignore it and switch over to the second one >immediate sinking feeling in my stomach thinking about what I'm doing and the $$$$ I've wasted on this >completely lose interest and ask all 3 of them to leave >incredibly awkward atmosphere while they check to make sure l'm not just nervous etc. >have been on my laptop browsing /biz/ trying to forget about it since 2am last night >still haunted what are we doing this for bros

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Anon gets laid | /r/Greentext

a8O Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun >dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"
a8O Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun >dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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Anon attends a party | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)12:13:53 No.846724238 >be me, 18yo pathetic virgen >no friends, complete loser >somehow get pity-invited to a house party one weekend >show up, no one cares >actually start to have fun >this one girl who I hate with my entire soul shows up 50 KB JPG >shes super hot and mean and i hate her >she actually says hi to me >asks if there is beer, I tel|l her I will find her one >go find a beer in the fridge >on the way back I discreetly pull out my penis and rub it all over the can, esp the mouth part >hand her the beer >she opens it and takes a drink >by the transitive property her mouth tasted my d--- later, virgins
: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)12:13:53 No.846724238 >be me, 18yo pathetic virgen >no friends, complete loser >somehow get pity-invited to a house party one weekend >show up, no one cares >actually start to have fun >this one girl who I hate with my entire soul shows up 50 KB JPG >shes super hot and mean and i hate her >she actually says hi to me >asks if there is beer, I tel|l her I will find her one >go find a beer in the fridge >on the way back I discreetly pull out my penis and rub it all over the can, esp the mouth part >hand her the beer >she opens it and takes a drink >by the transitive property her mouth tasted my d--- later, virgins

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Anon gets a handy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/21 (Fri)21:22:21 No.846657825 >shake hands with girl >immediately run to bathroom And j------- >girl hand germs on d--- >basically got h------ from girl >girl was mom but still counts >see ya later virgins 7 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/05/21 (Fri)21:22:21 No.846657825 >shake hands with girl >immediately run to bathroom And j------- >girl hand germs on d--- >basically got h------ from girl >girl was mom but still counts >see ya later virgins 7 KB JPG

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Anon looks sus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)04:40:10 No.62200988 >try omegle >get skipped a bunch >"oh s--- a pervert!" skip before I can talk >"dude you look so horny not gonna lie" 1 skip before I can understand why >"you look like a pervert" skip again Is this what people see when they look at me? Like, in real life too? 68 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)04:40:10 No.62200988 >try omegle >get skipped a bunch >"oh s--- a pervert!" skip before I can talk >"dude you look so horny not gonna lie" 1 skip before I can understand why >"you look like a pervert" skip again Is this what people see when they look at me? Like, in real life too? 68 KB PNG

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Character building | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)09:17:28 No.62203613 >wake up at 5:30am for my job that starts at 7 >Take shower and get dressed >Drive to McDonald's >l always get a large coffee and two sausage McMuffins >Just sit in my car for the next hour while it's still pitch black outside, eating my muffins 29 KB JPG and coffee >Have full blown conversations with myself the entire time >I have talked to myself 10x more than any other person in my life, even more than my best friend
: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)09:17:28 No.62203613 >wake up at 5:30am for my job that starts at 7 >Take shower and get dressed >Drive to McDonald's >l always get a large coffee and two sausage McMuffins >Just sit in my car for the next hour while it's still pitch black outside, eating my muffins 29 KB JPG and coffee >Have full blown conversations with myself the entire time >I have talked to myself 10x more than any other person in my life, even more than my best friend

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Anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Childhood autism thread 02/06/21(Sat)12:15:17 No.62207267 >be me >be 7-8 >rememberance day >school assembly >all dressed up and s--- >we're told to salute the local vets 136 KB JPG >don't know how to properly salute >remember the photos of the cool soldiers my cousin showed me nazis.jpg >heil them >the veterans who saw me are staring >some teachers are staring >don't know what i did >get sent to the office after assembly >get a long talking to about what i did and who the nazis were >mfw they were the bad guys
: Anonymous Childhood autism thread 02/06/21(Sat)12:15:17 No.62207267 >be me >be 7-8 >rememberance day >school assembly >all dressed up and s--- >we're told to salute the local vets 136 KB JPG >don't know how to properly salute >remember the photos of the cool soldiers my cousin showed me nazis.jpg >heil them >the veterans who saw me are staring >some teachers are staring >don't know what i did >get sent to the office after assembly >get a long talking to about what i did and who the nazis were >mfw they were the bad guys

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Anon has plan | /r/Greentext

>turn 23 next week >graduated college pre corona >got big plans for a career, send out applications to the top spots >family and friends wish me luck everyone is rooting for me >cut to now 18 KB JPG >my 8th month living at home >3 rejected applications >unemployment pay runs out soon >going to have to put real career on hold and pick up some other job this is not what i was promised. this is hands down the worst economic and social period ever i understand why suicides are spiking
>turn 23 next week >graduated college pre corona >got big plans for a career, send out applications to the top spots >family and friends wish me luck everyone is rooting for me >cut to now 18 KB JPG >my 8th month living at home >3 rejected applications >unemployment pay runs out soon >going to have to put real career on hold and pick up some other job this is not what i was promised. this is hands down the worst economic and social period ever i understand why suicides are spiking

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Anon is 5’10 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)13:03:11 No.62205732 >wake up >5'10 still 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)13:05:27 No.62205762 >>62205732 (OP) # >check the clock >5:10 AM >still haven't slept >blink >10:00 AM >get up >look in the mirror >dark circles under the eyes >still 5'11
: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)13:03:11 No.62205732 >wake up >5'10 still 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)13:05:27 No.62205762 >>62205732 (OP) # >check the clock >5:10 AM >still haven't slept >blink >10:00 AM >get up >look in the mirror >dark circles under the eyes >still 5'11

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Anon is a Chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/04/17(Mon)05:29:14 No.41552733 >mfw I am Chad but I have psychological problems so i am stuck here with you dumb virgins 152 KB PNG
: Anonymous 12/04/17(Mon)05:29:14 No.41552733 >mfw I am Chad but I have psychological problems so i am stuck here with you dumb virgins 152 KB PNG

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Anon uses some trick | /r/Greentext

>television not acting right >hit it >it starts acting right >washer machine not acting right >hit it >washer machine starts acting 29 KB JPG right >son not acting right >hit him >go to jail for assault of a minor
>television not acting right >hit it >it starts acting right >washer machine not acting right >hit it >washer machine starts acting 29 KB JPG right >son not acting right >hit him >go to jail for assault of a minor

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anon meets the mad jizzer | /r/Greentext

>neighborhood in panic >someone has been breaking into houses and cars and jizzing on everything >they call him the mad jizzer >don't buy into the hype 47 KB JPG >leave car doors unlocked to prove he is not real >next morning get into car >cumgalore.wav >its f------ everywhere >there is a message written with j--- on console >'c-- get me if you can' >hear movement in backseat >turn around to look >cumshottotheface.exe >he laughs and runs away Into the woods >will never forget, when the mad jizzer came to town
>neighborhood in panic >someone has been breaking into houses and cars and jizzing on everything >they call him the mad jizzer >don't buy into the hype 47 KB JPG >leave car doors unlocked to prove he is not real >next morning get into car >cumgalore.wav >its f------ everywhere >there is a message written with j--- on console >'c-- get me if you can' >hear movement in backseat >turn around to look >cumshottotheface.exe >he laughs and runs away Into the woods >will never forget, when the mad jizzer came to town

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anon has trouble using reddit | /r/Greentext

Im (2/6 17:01) · 846699537 O Re · 0 Img · PNG · 206KB · (991 × 672) >be me >got reddit account with much karma >very proud, took ages >feelsgoodman.img >reply to comment >bigger auto-corrects to n----- >loose karma account to perm ban for saying "earth is n----- than mars" >feelsbadman.img >f--- reddit and f--- you 500
Im (2/6 17:01) · 846699537 O Re · 0 Img · PNG · 206KB · (991 × 672) >be me >got reddit account with much karma >very proud, took ages >feelsgoodman.img >reply to comment >bigger auto-corrects to n----- >loose karma account to perm ban for saying "earth is n----- than mars" >feelsbadman.img >f--- reddit and f--- you 500

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Tribal loyalties | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)05:09:52 No.62201719 >>62200988 (OP)# >be me a couple hours ago >go on Omegle to see if l can find a gf >mostly see dudes >first girl I see calls me ugly 41 KB JPG >im angry now >start going through as many people as I can >call all the females ugly to dampen their self | esteem >call all the dudes handsome because they could use a compliment >l just made the world a better place
: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)05:09:52 No.62201719 >>62200988 (OP)# >be me a couple hours ago >go on Omegle to see if l can find a gf >mostly see dudes >first girl I see calls me ugly 41 KB JPG >im angry now >start going through as many people as I can >call all the females ugly to dampen their self | esteem >call all the dudes handsome because they could use a compliment >l just made the world a better place

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