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NHK Unplugged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)20:27:19 No.62180991 >be bored >re-watch all of cowboy bebop >holy f--- Spike is so cool >decide to mimic Spike's style for the following five months >spend every third evening at home drinking because i heard Ha aso trsome 68 KB JPG scotch makes your voice scrappy >start chain smoking >grow hair out and stop combing it >purposely wear crumpled up shirts and a suit i borrowed from my dad >no matching pants so just wear suit and jeans >tried to imitate Spike's chad stride where he bends over and puts his hands in his pockets, probably looked like a major autist >think of joining a martial arts class but too insecure so just end up watching self defense videos on youtube and doing pushups in my room >do this for five months >a guy i knew from highschool sees me, says i look like a f----- >stop Did you ever try something this acoustic?
: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)20:27:19 No.62180991 >be bored >re-watch all of cowboy bebop >holy f--- Spike is so cool >decide to mimic Spike's style for the following five months >spend every third evening at home drinking because i heard Ha aso trsome 68 KB JPG scotch makes your voice scrappy >start chain smoking >grow hair out and stop combing it >purposely wear crumpled up shirts and a suit i borrowed from my dad >no matching pants so just wear suit and jeans >tried to imitate Spike's chad stride where he bends over and puts his hands in his pockets, probably looked like a major autist >think of joining a martial arts class but too insecure so just end up watching self defense videos on youtube and doing pushups in my room >do this for five months >a guy i knew from highschool sees me, says i look like a f----- >stop Did you ever try something this acoustic?

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Anon watches Archer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)21:36:46 No.846744113 >Be me >Start to watch Archer >Develop a love for the main character >Slowly implement his personality into yours >Slowly become Archer himself >Develop new personality and make it 203 KB PNG your own >Family and friends notice behavior and are concerned and push you to get checked out >See a therapist >Get diagnosed with high functioning Autism >Don't have to work anymore with new diagnoses and live off the government >Watch as much Archer as you want forever and ever and get payed for it
: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)21:36:46 No.846744113 >Be me >Start to watch Archer >Develop a love for the main character >Slowly implement his personality into yours >Slowly become Archer himself >Develop new personality and make it 203 KB PNG your own >Family and friends notice behavior and are concerned and push you to get checked out >See a therapist >Get diagnosed with high functioning Autism >Don't have to work anymore with new diagnoses and live off the government >Watch as much Archer as you want forever and ever and get payed for it

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Anon is gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 52 minutes ago 846768588 >be me >habitual coomer >l remember a time where women could get me hard >l browse 4chan daily >after years of fapping here to femoids I find can no longer get hard to women >l tried and its like I have ED >pull up even mild femboy or guy on guy p--- >instant diamonds w-- guys which one of you made me gay?
Anonymous 52 minutes ago 846768588 >be me >habitual coomer >l remember a time where women could get me hard >l browse 4chan daily >after years of fapping here to femoids I find can no longer get hard to women >l tried and its like I have ED >pull up even mild femboy or guy on guy p--- >instant diamonds w-- guys which one of you made me gay?

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Anon is hollow | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)10:23:33 No.846708415 WOJAK Radh Doomer.jpg 40 KB JPG Life is hollow >occasionally compliment girls who run nsfw accounts >sometimes they respond and compliment me as well >thats nice I guess >l don't even compliment these women because | want to get with them, I just do it so someone will acknowledge my existence Where did the happiness go anons?
: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)10:23:33 No.846708415 WOJAK Radh Doomer.jpg 40 KB JPG Life is hollow >occasionally compliment girls who run nsfw accounts >sometimes they respond and compliment me as well >thats nice I guess >l don't even compliment these women because | want to get with them, I just do it so someone will acknowledge my existence Where did the happiness go anons?

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Anon hate Mosin | /r/Greentext

>even in active warzones, the Mosin is only used by fedoratipping memelords lol how will nuggetfags ever recover 9h (2/5 2:28) ·48212050 10 Replies >>48211985 (OP) >M'hammed
>even in active warzones, the Mosin is only used by fedoratipping memelords lol how will nuggetfags ever recover 9h (2/5 2:28) ·48212050 10 Replies >>48211985 (OP) >M'hammed

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Anon was Tricked once again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)09:59:24 No.844740211 >masturbating in bedroom >about to c-- >dad comes running in naked screaming >'and here comes dad from left field!!' 83 KB JPG >he does a running jump >lands a------ first on my d--- >penetration.png >c-- >mfw he laughs and calls me a f----- for cuming in another guy EVERY F------ TIME
: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)09:59:24 No.844740211 >masturbating in bedroom >about to c-- >dad comes running in naked screaming >'and here comes dad from left field!!' 83 KB JPG >he does a running jump >lands a------ first on my d--- >penetration.png >c-- >mfw he laughs and calls me a f----- for cuming in another guy EVERY F------ TIME

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Anon has kids | /r/Greentext

File: 1611933161093s.jpg (3 KB, 125x125) Anonymous (ID: MFboqH12 ) [1 02/06/21(Sat)20:25:18 No.306944663 I am literally living pol's dream rn >be me >at bar >blonde comes up to me >"wanna breed anon" >excited.jpg >bring her to my apartment >we do it >i coom in her as deep as possible >"anon w--" >"i am not on the pill and i am ovulating" >"i thought you wanted to breed" >she leaves >mfw when i accidently impregnated a women i'll update in 9 months
File: 1611933161093s.jpg (3 KB, 125x125) Anonymous (ID: MFboqH12 ) [1 02/06/21(Sat)20:25:18 No.306944663 I am literally living pol's dream rn >be me >at bar >blonde comes up to me >"wanna breed anon" >excited.jpg >bring her to my apartment >we do it >i coom in her as deep as possible >"anon w--" >"i am not on the pill and i am ovulating" >"i thought you wanted to breed" >she leaves >mfw when i accidently impregnated a women i'll update in 9 months

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Anon is an asshole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)18:49:59 No.846741201 Prevalence of Down Syndromeby Mother's Age 20 20-24 25-29 30-34 $5-99 Mather's Age tyears) The life expectancy of people with Down syndrome increased dramatically between 1960 and 2007. In 1960, on average, persons with Down syndrome lived to be about 10 years old. In 2007, on average, persons with Down syndrome lived to be about 47 years old. Screenshot_20210206-184539~2.png 528 KB PNG >just incase you wondered what the life expectancy is of someone who only eats spagettios.
: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)18:49:59 No.846741201 Prevalence of Down Syndromeby Mother's Age 20 20-24 25-29 30-34 $5-99 Mather's Age tyears) The life expectancy of people with Down syndrome increased dramatically between 1960 and 2007. In 1960, on average, persons with Down syndrome lived to be about 10 years old. In 2007, on average, persons with Down syndrome lived to be about 47 years old. Screenshot_20210206-184539~2.png 528 KB PNG >just incase you wondered what the life expectancy is of someone who only eats spagettios.

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This is pretty wholesome for 4chan | /r/Greentext

>be 11 year old me >Minecraft 1.0 comes out >want to get it >mom doesn't get me it at first >feelsbad.png >Easter rolls around >mom hands me a paper >its a username and password >mom got me an account for Easter >thanks mom 9.9 kB JPG >play minecraft all the time >make lots of memories and friends playing minecraft >fast forward to now >redownload Minecraft for the hell of it >look around for paper with username and password >find it >username is my name spelled backwards >lol >password.. >"lovemom" >love you mom
>be 11 year old me >Minecraft 1.0 comes out >want to get it >mom doesn't get me it at first >feelsbad.png >Easter rolls around >mom hands me a paper >its a username and password >mom got me an account for Easter >thanks mom 9.9 kB JPG >play minecraft all the time >make lots of memories and friends playing minecraft >fast forward to now >redownload Minecraft for the hell of it >look around for paper with username and password >find it >username is my name spelled backwards >lol >password.. >"lovemom" >love you mom

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Bad hair day | /r/Greentext

File: pinkwojacks_agadeqad1u8lgw.png (121 KB, 428x512) O Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)08:25:56 No.59719201 [Reply] >2 years ago >measure my height when renewing my ID >188cm >nice.jpg >yesterday >measure my height out of curiosity >(now head shaven and barefoot) >183cm. It's over. 2 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)08:28:58 No.59719232 D File: Huaaauauauauuuuuuuugaiaia(...).png (962 KB, 922x581) >>59719201 (OP)# >>(now head shaven and barefoot) >MEASURING THE HAIR НАНАНАНАНА
File: pinkwojacks_agadeqad1u8lgw.png (121 KB, 428x512) O Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)08:25:56 No.59719201 [Reply] >2 years ago >measure my height when renewing my ID >188cm >nice.jpg >yesterday >measure my height out of curiosity >(now head shaven and barefoot) >183cm. It's over. 2 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)08:28:58 No.59719232 D File: Huaaauauauauuuuuuuugaiaia(...).png (962 KB, 922x581) >>59719201 (OP)# >>(now head shaven and barefoot) >MEASURING THE HAIR НАНАНАНАНА

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Who knows what good lurks in the heart of men? The shadow knows | /r/Greentext

File: 1592649994009.jpg (48 KB, 808x767) Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)14:36:11 No.62192065 [Reply] >get in argument with retard >give up and leave thread >come back later and see some other guy pretended to be me and utterly destroyed them U Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)14:39:55 No.62192103 File: ad788553185fa91dff660205a(...).png (106 KB, 547x552) can you send me the link? i wanna laugh too
File: 1592649994009.jpg (48 KB, 808x767) Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)14:36:11 No.62192065 [Reply] >get in argument with retard >give up and leave thread >come back later and see some other guy pretended to be me and utterly destroyed them U Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)14:39:55 No.62192103 File: ad788553185fa91dff660205a(...).png (106 KB, 547x552) can you send me the link? i wanna laugh too

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Anon is Bill Clinton | /r/Greentext

File: BJC.jpg (7 KB, 196x257) Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)17:40:46 No.846736908 >be me >former president Bill Clinton >someone walks up to me on street >"Hey are you Bill Clinton?" >"Yes I am" >"How did Monica's d--- taste?"
File: BJC.jpg (7 KB, 196x257) Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)17:40:46 No.846736908 >be me >former president Bill Clinton >someone walks up to me on street >"Hey are you Bill Clinton?" >"Yes I am" >"How did Monica's d--- taste?"

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Anons friend is a pedo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)23:20:48 No.146199804 >>146198196 (OP)_# >80s movie night in college >drinking and chilling with the lads >time for Labyrinth >one bro keeps talking about how hot JConn is 1.06 MB JPG >inform him that she's only like 15 >laugh at his awkward boner >take turns sucking him off >jokingly threaten to tell his gf he's a p--- she was great in that role desu >>146200005 #
: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)23:20:48 No.146199804 >>146198196 (OP)_# >80s movie night in college >drinking and chilling with the lads >time for Labyrinth >one bro keeps talking about how hot JConn is 1.06 MB JPG >inform him that she's only like 15 >laugh at his awkward boner >take turns sucking him off >jokingly threaten to tell his gf he's a p--- she was great in that role desu >>146200005 #

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Fucking england | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)02:50:19 No.62211469 >be me >britbong >lose my walking license >need to go the shop for cigarettes >decide to risk it 48 KB JPG >trying to speed walk so I don't get caught >copper legit turns the corner right in front of me >asks why i'm walking so quickly >asks to see my walking license >explain that l've lost it >immediate 200 quid fine >f--- >get to the shop >door only opens using a door license >f--- >l forgot it >beg the guy behind the counter to let me in >he does >get in the queue >luckily I remembered my queuing license >get to the front of the queue >ask for the cigs >he asks for my c-------- license >hand it to him >It's expired >f--- f--- f--- >get fined another 200 quid for swearing without my profanity license I f------ hate this country. 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)02:50:19 No.62211469 >be me >britbong >lose my walking license >need to go the shop for cigarettes >decide to risk it 48 KB JPG >trying to speed walk so I don't get caught >copper legit turns the corner right in front of me >asks why i'm walking so quickly >asks to see my walking license >explain that l've lost it >immediate 200 quid fine >f--- >get to the shop >door only opens using a door license >f--- >l forgot it >beg the guy behind the counter to let me in >he does >get in the queue >luckily I remembered my queuing license >get to the front of the queue >ask for the cigs >he asks for my c-------- license >hand it to him >It's expired >f--- f--- f--- >get fined another 200 quid for swearing without my profanity license I f------ hate this country. 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon has a nap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous First time sleeping naked 02/07/21(Sun)01:36:14 No.62211298 >be me, 7 years old >see people sleeping naked in movies and wonder what that feels like >try it out one night >think for some odd reason 42 KB JPG that my mom will get mad if she sees me sleeping naked >decide to sleep in the closet so she doesn't see me >next morning she goes to wake me up and i'm not in my bed >she freaks out and searches everywhere >she comes back to my room later and opens the closet >she sees me sleeping naked inside >she gets so mad at me and yells so much that to this day i'm afraid of sleeping naked
: Anonymous First time sleeping naked 02/07/21(Sun)01:36:14 No.62211298 >be me, 7 years old >see people sleeping naked in movies and wonder what that feels like >try it out one night >think for some odd reason 42 KB JPG that my mom will get mad if she sees me sleeping naked >decide to sleep in the closet so she doesn't see me >next morning she goes to wake me up and i'm not in my bed >she freaks out and searches everywhere >she comes back to my room later and opens the closet >she sees me sleeping naked inside >she gets so mad at me and yells so much that to this day i'm afraid of sleeping naked

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Anon is Buddhist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/18(Sun)17:48:16 No.775076483 >be me >Buddhist >one with everything >idea.jpeg > If I'm one with evrything, I'm technically one with Chad >Technically have f----- millions 42 KB JPG of girls See ya later, virgins >But wait > If I'm one with everything, I'm also one with Stacey > I've technically had Chad inside me >That'sgayaf.png >Immediately give up Buddhism for atheism > mfw Buddhism is fake and gay
: Anonymous 07/22/18(Sun)17:48:16 No.775076483 >be me >Buddhist >one with everything >idea.jpeg > If I'm one with evrything, I'm technically one with Chad >Technically have f----- millions 42 KB JPG of girls See ya later, virgins >But wait > If I'm one with everything, I'm also one with Stacey > I've technically had Chad inside me >That'sgayaf.png >Immediately give up Buddhism for atheism > mfw Buddhism is fake and gay

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Anon commits genocide | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)23:33:21 No.10404121 File: ffikff.png (146 KB, 461x426) >> >>10399570 >Be Russians in Siberia. >Kill 3 people. >3/4 of the Yakut population is wiped out.
Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)23:33:21 No.10404121 File: ffikff.png (146 KB, 461x426) >> >>10399570 >Be Russians in Siberia. >Kill 3 people. >3/4 of the Yakut population is wiped out.

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Anon is Catholic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/15/19(Sun)21:41:42 No.111347623 >Yes l'm a Catholic. How could you tell? 71 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/15/19(Sun)21:41:42 No.111347623 >Yes l'm a Catholic. How could you tell? 71 KB JPG

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Anon goes to Vegas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 4vrFLPVK regret 02/06/21(Sat) 15:52:01 No.27937035 >finally reach 7-figure purgatory thanks to /biz/ >decide it's time to reward myself >spend months planning a degenerate trip to vegas >ready to fulfill my lifelong dream of 3 chicks at the same time 10 KB JPG >check in to my hotel >friday night muthafucka >booked 3 milfs with big asses for my first night, never had sex before >start drinking some japanese nikka whisky to celebrate my portfolio >the girls show up, they're more or less how they looked in the pictures (maybe slightly less but still acceptable) >have all 3 of them lined up in thongs >ready to bury my face in their asses all night, etc. >blasting Def Leppard >peel the first one's thong off and start eating her ass >immediately overwhelmed with shame and regret on some kind of holy cosmic level that I've never experienced before >try to ignore it and switch over to the second one >immediate sinking feeling in my stomach thinking about what I'm doing and the $$$$ I've wasted on this >completely lose interest and ask all 3 of them to leave >incredibly awkward atmosphere while they check to make sure l'm not just nervous etc. >have been on my laptop browsing /biz/ trying to forget about it since 2am last night >still haunted what are we doing this for bros
: Anonymous (ID: 4vrFLPVK regret 02/06/21(Sat) 15:52:01 No.27937035 >finally reach 7-figure purgatory thanks to /biz/ >decide it's time to reward myself >spend months planning a degenerate trip to vegas >ready to fulfill my lifelong dream of 3 chicks at the same time 10 KB JPG >check in to my hotel >friday night muthafucka >booked 3 milfs with big asses for my first night, never had sex before >start drinking some japanese nikka whisky to celebrate my portfolio >the girls show up, they're more or less how they looked in the pictures (maybe slightly less but still acceptable) >have all 3 of them lined up in thongs >ready to bury my face in their asses all night, etc. >blasting Def Leppard >peel the first one's thong off and start eating her ass >immediately overwhelmed with shame and regret on some kind of holy cosmic level that I've never experienced before >try to ignore it and switch over to the second one >immediate sinking feeling in my stomach thinking about what I'm doing and the $$$$ I've wasted on this >completely lose interest and ask all 3 of them to leave >incredibly awkward atmosphere while they check to make sure l'm not just nervous etc. >have been on my laptop browsing /biz/ trying to forget about it since 2am last night >still haunted what are we doing this for bros

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Anon gets laid | /r/Greentext

a8O Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun >dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"
a8O Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun >dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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