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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:08:24 No.847076978 IRL N Word Pass >2012 >be white 16 year old in Highschool, 50% of the school is black >black kids always calling each other “n----" 19 KB JPG >say it in front of staff, never blink an eye >idea >say "sup n----" to my friend in front of staff >instantly sent to the office >principal is furious, gives me a five day suspension >all part of the plan >get back to school >write down every instance of black kids saying "n----" >report it to the staff >they can't pick and choose rules >multiple black kids get suspended too >tons of angry parents calling the school daily >mfw
: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:08:24 No.847076978 IRL N Word Pass >2012 >be white 16 year old in Highschool, 50% of the school is black >black kids always calling each other “n----" 19 KB JPG >say it in front of staff, never blink an eye >idea >say "sup n----" to my friend in front of staff >instantly sent to the office >principal is furious, gives me a five day suspension >all part of the plan >get back to school >write down every instance of black kids saying "n----" >report it to the staff >they can't pick and choose rules >multiple black kids get suspended too >tons of angry parents calling the school daily >mfw

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Erasmus Montanus by Ludvig Holberg | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Ascension 05/02/18(Wed)10:45:03 No.4508801 >Be me >Rasmus berg >Go to university >Become very much smart.mp4 >Like latin >Be me >Erasmus montanus (smart name) >wanna show how smart i am >Go home to village 326 KB PNG >Everyone is stupid except me (l am very much intelligent) >Find someone to discuss with >They say "earth is flat unga bunga" >facepalm.mp4 >Find my girlfriend >She will marry me if i say earth is flat.png (like she is) >Reject her >Marry science instead (because i am very much smart) >I love science (and chicken tendies) >Be me >happy now
: Anonymous Ascension 05/02/18(Wed)10:45:03 No.4508801 >Be me >Rasmus berg >Go to university >Become very much smart.mp4 >Like latin >Be me >Erasmus montanus (smart name) >wanna show how smart i am >Go home to village 326 KB PNG >Everyone is stupid except me (l am very much intelligent) >Find someone to discuss with >They say "earth is flat unga bunga" >facepalm.mp4 >Find my girlfriend >She will marry me if i say earth is flat.png (like she is) >Reject her >Marry science instead (because i am very much smart) >I love science (and chicken tendies) >Be me >happy now

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anon is american | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: tU0dTroQ 10/11/19(Fri)06:42:29 No.229478329 >be american >get sick >go backrupt 576 KB PNG View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: tU0dTroQ 10/11/19(Fri)06:42:29 No.229478329 >be american >get sick >go backrupt 576 KB PNG View Thread

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Anon has hope | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21 (Wed)20:14:08 No.62270735 a girl in my Spanish zoom class dm'd me saying nice job when I got a question right today. Is there hope? 21 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:15:21 No.62270750 >>62270735 (OP) # >He's mistaking a nicety for affection again 8 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/10/21 (Wed)20:14:08 No.62270735 a girl in my Spanish zoom class dm'd me saying nice job when I got a question right today. Is there hope? 21 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:15:21 No.62270750 >>62270735 (OP) # >He's mistaking a nicety for affection again 8 KB PNG

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Don’t mess with Anon | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/26/20(Fri)03:54:00 No.56167255 >>56168442 >>56167048 (OP) >Walking down the street >See gorilla running up to me >l'm a blackbelt in Ninjutsu, one of the deadliest martial arts in the world >Run up to it >lt throws a punch >Dodge and use a flying armbar to break its arm >Roll off, hitting its knee as do so >Use a Krav Maga strike to hit it in the neck >It's still alive >"Now you've made me angry" >Pull out my swiss army knife and finish it off >Blood gets on my trench coat but I don't even care Don't mess with me
O Anonymous 06/26/20(Fri)03:54:00 No.56167255 >>56168442 >>56167048 (OP) >Walking down the street >See gorilla running up to me >l'm a blackbelt in Ninjutsu, one of the deadliest martial arts in the world >Run up to it >lt throws a punch >Dodge and use a flying armbar to break its arm >Roll off, hitting its knee as do so >Use a Krav Maga strike to hit it in the neck >It's still alive >"Now you've made me angry" >Pull out my swiss army knife and finish it off >Blood gets on my trench coat but I don't even care Don't mess with me

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Anon is the king | /r/Greentext

>back in high school >group of kids do nothing but talk like hank hill >imagine a dozen f------ hank hills >have some anti drug rally >guy starts saying some reasons kids get lured into drugs >kid raises hand and says "why do drugs when you can just mow a lawn" >group praises him by saying "taste the meat not the heat" >guy legitimately has no idea what to reply, "next question"s it
>back in high school >group of kids do nothing but talk like hank hill >imagine a dozen f------ hank hills >have some anti drug rally >guy starts saying some reasons kids get lured into drugs >kid raises hand and says "why do drugs when you can just mow a lawn" >group praises him by saying "taste the meat not the heat" >guy legitimately has no idea what to reply, "next question"s it

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Anon cant cum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/21/16(Sat)18:04:13 No.28720917 >mom recently bought a UV light to detect cumstains in my underwear and socks >can't fap into the shower because that would clog it >can only acquire tissues through mom, not allowed packs of my 164 KB PNG own >mom carefully documents each tissue I use in an excel table, and for what purpose I'm 22 btw. What the f--- do I do?
: Anonymous 05/21/16(Sat)18:04:13 No.28720917 >mom recently bought a UV light to detect cumstains in my underwear and socks >can't fap into the shower because that would clog it >can only acquire tissues through mom, not allowed packs of my 164 KB PNG own >mom carefully documents each tissue I use in an excel table, and for what purpose I'm 22 btw. What the f--- do I do?

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Anon is grounded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/18(Mon)18:23:03 No.46191575 >finally tell mom im a superhero >bitch doesnt believe me >shoot my web on her >grounded >mfw 9 KB PNG
: Anonymous 06/18/18(Mon)18:23:03 No.46191575 >finally tell mom im a superhero >bitch doesnt believe me >shoot my web on her >grounded >mfw 9 KB PNG

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Anon harnesses the power of the simulation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)10:08:52 No.846838629 >>846839467 So ever since I was a kid, I used to do these dance moves/hand gestures in oddly specific locations e.g. corner of cafeteria, in toilet stall etc. thinking I would cast a spell to break out of the "simulation" >be me >4th grade >at school >walking back from recess to class >lean against railing of staircase 2nd floor 5th step >do an egyptian dance with head movements and everything >janitor at base of staircase drops dead from heart attack >panic >do it again a year later to test theory, ending some kid this time No one will ever believe me and call me schizo but if you do it at my old school on that location with a specific egyptian dance you can just kill people.
Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)10:08:52 No.846838629 >>846839467 So ever since I was a kid, I used to do these dance moves/hand gestures in oddly specific locations e.g. corner of cafeteria, in toilet stall etc. thinking I would cast a spell to break out of the "simulation" >be me >4th grade >at school >walking back from recess to class >lean against railing of staircase 2nd floor 5th step >do an egyptian dance with head movements and everything >janitor at base of staircase drops dead from heart attack >panic >do it again a year later to test theory, ending some kid this time No one will ever believe me and call me schizo but if you do it at my old school on that location with a specific egyptian dance you can just kill people.

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Anon has an easy job | /r/Greentext

>be me >friend invites me out for drinks >I have work in the morning >f--- it >get plastered >wake up for work next day >still very drunk 38 KB JPG >herewego.png >somehow make it to work in one piece >"Hey annon what's up?" >"good and you?" >awkward silence >suddenly have a bright idea >decide to power nap in storage closet to sober up >set alarm on phone for 30 minutes >wake up 10 hours later, hungover >slept through my alarm >s---.jpeg >think I'm gonna be fired >f--- it, time to go home >boss sees me on the way out >"Wow anon, you look beat. Thanks for staying late today. I appreciate it" >talks to me about a possible promotion >mfw work is easy
>be me >friend invites me out for drinks >I have work in the morning >f--- it >get plastered >wake up for work next day >still very drunk 38 KB JPG >herewego.png >somehow make it to work in one piece >"Hey annon what's up?" >"good and you?" >awkward silence >suddenly have a bright idea >decide to power nap in storage closet to sober up >set alarm on phone for 30 minutes >wake up 10 hours later, hungover >slept through my alarm >s---.jpeg >think I'm gonna be fired >f--- it, time to go home >boss sees me on the way out >"Wow anon, you look beat. Thanks for staying late today. I appreciate it" >talks to me about a possible promotion >mfw work is easy

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Anon is scared | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 minutes ago 49969852 >need to put my father's gmail account on my phone for something >as a result can also see all his email,s google drive, etc. >he has some p--- stored in his google drive >think nothing of it >this morning see him add a few things >some of it is gay p--- >one video in particular is father and son p--- I'm speechless and honestly kind of scared. What if he gets mad and f---- my ass one day. 2 REPLIES Anonymous 7 minutes ago 49969892 >>49969852 (OP) Then don't be a bitch and take it like a good boy.
Anonymous 9 minutes ago 49969852 >need to put my father's gmail account on my phone for something >as a result can also see all his email,s google drive, etc. >he has some p--- stored in his google drive >think nothing of it >this morning see him add a few things >some of it is gay p--- >one video in particular is father and son p--- I'm speechless and honestly kind of scared. What if he gets mad and f---- my ass one day. 2 REPLIES Anonymous 7 minutes ago 49969892 >>49969852 (OP) Then don't be a bitch and take it like a good boy.

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Anon is based | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 800423270 22 min ago Why are women so soft and cudly? Why do they smell so good? Not the fat ones of course 114.5 kB JPG 2 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 800423270 22 min ago Why are women so soft and cudly? Why do they smell so good? Not the fat ones of course 114.5 kB JPG 2 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon has inspiration | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:40:55 No.45529237 >>45529268 >>45529296 >>45529308 >>45529316 >>45529389 >>45529407 >>45529437 >>45529495 >45529551 >>45529614 245529924 >45529928 >>45529929 >>45529939 >>45530047 >>45530084 >>45530099 >>45530285 >>45530523 >>45530615 >>45530630 >>45530644 >>45530673 >>45530675 >>45531066 >>45531082 >>45531180 >>45531193 >>45531336 >>45531551 >>45531912 >>45531941 >>45532077 >>45532671 >>45532752 >>45533213 >>45533270 >>45533302 >>45533363 >>45534153 >>45534296 >>45535206 >>45535573 >>45536234 >>45536912 >>45538098 >>45538186 >>45538276 >>45538374 >>45538384 >>45538393 >»45538401 What fills you with pure rage so you can workout with maximum intensitity? >> Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:41:42 No.45529248 Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:43 24 No.45529265 Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:43:45 No.45529268 Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:45:01 No.45529286 >>45529866 >>45529882 >>45529957 >>45530054 >>45530166 >>45530604 >>45531093 >>45531320 >>45531334 >>45531579 >>45531625 >>45531715 >>45531841 >>45531846 >>45531861 >>45531874>>45531924 >>45532515 >>45533016 >>45533167 >>45533374 >>45533394 >>45533554 >>45534102 >>45534249 >>45535173 >>45535223 >>45535567 >>45535713 >>45535962 >>45536028 >>45536880 >>45536919 >>45537327>>45538518 >>45538640 >>45538777 >>45529302 >>45529572 >>45529643 >>45529662 I pretend the mirrors in the gym are actually two way windows and there are teams of German scientists on the other side examining the perfect A---- to present to the Führer.
Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:40:55 No.45529237 >>45529268 >>45529296 >>45529308 >>45529316 >>45529389 >>45529407 >>45529437 >>45529495 >45529551 >>45529614 245529924 >45529928 >>45529929 >>45529939 >>45530047 >>45530084 >>45530099 >>45530285 >>45530523 >>45530615 >>45530630 >>45530644 >>45530673 >>45530675 >>45531066 >>45531082 >>45531180 >>45531193 >>45531336 >>45531551 >>45531912 >>45531941 >>45532077 >>45532671 >>45532752 >>45533213 >>45533270 >>45533302 >>45533363 >>45534153 >>45534296 >>45535206 >>45535573 >>45536234 >>45536912 >>45538098 >>45538186 >>45538276 >>45538374 >>45538384 >>45538393 >»45538401 What fills you with pure rage so you can workout with maximum intensitity? >> Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:41:42 No.45529248 Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:43 24 No.45529265 Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:43:45 No.45529268 Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:45:01 No.45529286 >>45529866 >>45529882 >>45529957 >>45530054 >>45530166 >>45530604 >>45531093 >>45531320 >>45531334 >>45531579 >>45531625 >>45531715 >>45531841 >>45531846 >>45531861 >>45531874>>45531924 >>45532515 >>45533016 >>45533167 >>45533374 >>45533394 >>45533554 >>45534102 >>45534249 >>45535173 >>45535223 >>45535567 >>45535713 >>45535962 >>45536028 >>45536880 >>45536919 >>45537327>>45538518 >>45538640 >>45538777 >>45529302 >>45529572 >>45529643 >>45529662 I pretend the mirrors in the gym are actually two way windows and there are teams of German scientists on the other side examining the perfect A---- to present to the Führer.

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Anon is NPC | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/17/18(Mon)06:17:35 No.48178708 >no friends >no real hobbies >no special talents >no gf >meaningless, unfulfilling job I hate >don't believe in anything >observe other people living life, 27 KB PNG rather than actually experiencing it for myself Am I an NPC? 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 09/17/18(Mon)06:17:35 No.48178708 >no friends >no real hobbies >no special talents >no gf >meaningless, unfulfilling job I hate >don't believe in anything >observe other people living life, 27 KB PNG rather than actually experiencing it for myself Am I an NPC? 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is ugly | /r/Greentext

>me and this girl talking >asks me to send a pic of my face >I do >she blocks me Should I just kms lads? This completely ruined my day and now I don't even want to go to the gym anymore.
>me and this girl talking >asks me to send a pic of my face >I do >she blocks me Should I just kms lads? This completely ruined my day and now I don't even want to go to the gym anymore.

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Anon is curious | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 04/05/19(Fri)20:49:13 No.51799562 What happens when we die, seriously? 85 Replies / 15 Images View Thread I Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:36:52 No.51807552 : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:38:20 No.51807568 >>51799562 (OP) # You literally cannot die from your point of view. Ever had that moments when you could almost die from a simple mistake, but survived? Like, hit by a car if moved a little bit faster? Well, you actually died for everyone but you, because your conscious moved to the alternate universe where you didn't die, nobody knows how long you can live because 36 KB JPG nobody ever really died.
I Anonymous 04/05/19(Fri)20:49:13 No.51799562 What happens when we die, seriously? 85 Replies / 15 Images View Thread I Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:36:52 No.51807552 : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:38:20 No.51807568 >>51799562 (OP) # You literally cannot die from your point of view. Ever had that moments when you could almost die from a simple mistake, but survived? Like, hit by a car if moved a little bit faster? Well, you actually died for everyone but you, because your conscious moved to the alternate universe where you didn't die, nobody knows how long you can live because 36 KB JPG nobody ever really died.

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Anon faps to himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)18:18:13 No.62262561 [Autistic sereeching] 1612856872772.jpg 14 KB JPG I haven't talked to females in so long I think I'm becoming autosexual I've started fapping to my own image in the mirror and pics of my own butt 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)18:18:13 No.62262561 [Autistic sereeching] 1612856872772.jpg 14 KB JPG I haven't talked to females in so long I think I'm becoming autosexual I've started fapping to my own image in the mirror and pics of my own butt 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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whoops, common mistake | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/24/13(Sun)19:45:21 No.6215899 >eating sandwich at the beach >skipping stones >watching the sunset and thinking about life >throw sandwich into ocean >bite rock People saw.
Anonymous 03/24/13(Sun)19:45:21 No.6215899 >eating sandwich at the beach >skipping stones >watching the sunset and thinking about life >throw sandwich into ocean >bite rock People saw.

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/bant/ anon talks to a gril for the first time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: HXAUvCdu 02/10/21(Wed)14:18:32 No.12109499 >spoke to female >she didn't instantly become my gf after talking to me once what the hell 3 KB PNG
: Anonymous (ID: HXAUvCdu 02/10/21(Wed)14:18:32 No.12109499 >spoke to female >she didn't instantly become my gf after talking to me once what the hell 3 KB PNG

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Anon goes to Kmart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)16:47:05 No.846980973 >be me LOSING >2014 or so, mid 20's >driving to meat shop in nearby city for specific cut of meat 152 KB JPG >see a f------ honest to god Kmart >knock knock it's 1995 bitch > immediately pull in >maybe 4 cars there >go in >that smell hits me instantly, a smell I can't describe and this sounds crazy but it smelled like before 9/11 if that makes sense >browse every aisle >they have new things, but also old ones >electronic department, signage advertising game boy colors and Nintendo 64's >had accessories for both, but no consoles left >a few new TVs but also some old tv/vcr combos >I can't describe how surreal this was, it was like a fever dream >felt like it was the mid 90's again >l mean even the air, the way time flowed, I can't explain it Cont : Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)16:47:52 No.846981038 >I s--- you not as I browsed ancient garden supplies they played "everybody walk the dinosaur" >genuinely think I might have been in another dimension >buy some body wash >cashier rings me up >receipt prints in this super old printer >makes that old wirrrrrrrr noise >pos was on fat, old school monitor >leave and feel weird rest of day >go back a month later >store was closed
: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)16:47:05 No.846980973 >be me LOSING >2014 or so, mid 20's >driving to meat shop in nearby city for specific cut of meat 152 KB JPG >see a f------ honest to god Kmart >knock knock it's 1995 bitch > immediately pull in >maybe 4 cars there >go in >that smell hits me instantly, a smell I can't describe and this sounds crazy but it smelled like before 9/11 if that makes sense >browse every aisle >they have new things, but also old ones >electronic department, signage advertising game boy colors and Nintendo 64's >had accessories for both, but no consoles left >a few new TVs but also some old tv/vcr combos >I can't describe how surreal this was, it was like a fever dream >felt like it was the mid 90's again >l mean even the air, the way time flowed, I can't explain it Cont : Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)16:47:52 No.846981038 >I s--- you not as I browsed ancient garden supplies they played "everybody walk the dinosaur" >genuinely think I might have been in another dimension >buy some body wash >cashier rings me up >receipt prints in this super old printer >makes that old wirrrrrrrr noise >pos was on fat, old school monitor >leave and feel weird rest of day >go back a month later >store was closed

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