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Anon harnesses the power of the simulation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)10:08:52 No.846838629 >>846839467 So ever since I was a kid, I used to do these dance moves/hand gestures in oddly specific locations e.g. corner of cafeteria, in toilet stall etc. thinking I would cast a spell to break out of the "simulation" >be me >4th grade >at school >walking back from recess to class >lean against railing of staircase 2nd floor 5th step >do an egyptian dance with head movements and everything >janitor at base of staircase drops dead from heart attack >panic >do it again a year later to test theory, ending some kid this time No one will ever believe me and call me schizo but if you do it at my old school on that location with a specific egyptian dance you can just kill people.
Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)10:08:52 No.846838629 >>846839467 So ever since I was a kid, I used to do these dance moves/hand gestures in oddly specific locations e.g. corner of cafeteria, in toilet stall etc. thinking I would cast a spell to break out of the "simulation" >be me >4th grade >at school >walking back from recess to class >lean against railing of staircase 2nd floor 5th step >do an egyptian dance with head movements and everything >janitor at base of staircase drops dead from heart attack >panic >do it again a year later to test theory, ending some kid this time No one will ever believe me and call me schizo but if you do it at my old school on that location with a specific egyptian dance you can just kill people.

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Anon has an easy job | /r/Greentext

>be me >friend invites me out for drinks >I have work in the morning >f--- it >get plastered >wake up for work next day >still very drunk 38 KB JPG >herewego.png >somehow make it to work in one piece >"Hey annon what's up?" >"good and you?" >awkward silence >suddenly have a bright idea >decide to power nap in storage closet to sober up >set alarm on phone for 30 minutes >wake up 10 hours later, hungover >slept through my alarm >s---.jpeg >think I'm gonna be fired >f--- it, time to go home >boss sees me on the way out >"Wow anon, you look beat. Thanks for staying late today. I appreciate it" >talks to me about a possible promotion >mfw work is easy
>be me >friend invites me out for drinks >I have work in the morning >f--- it >get plastered >wake up for work next day >still very drunk 38 KB JPG >herewego.png >somehow make it to work in one piece >"Hey annon what's up?" >"good and you?" >awkward silence >suddenly have a bright idea >decide to power nap in storage closet to sober up >set alarm on phone for 30 minutes >wake up 10 hours later, hungover >slept through my alarm >s---.jpeg >think I'm gonna be fired >f--- it, time to go home >boss sees me on the way out >"Wow anon, you look beat. Thanks for staying late today. I appreciate it" >talks to me about a possible promotion >mfw work is easy

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Anon is scared | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 minutes ago 49969852 >need to put my father's gmail account on my phone for something >as a result can also see all his email,s google drive, etc. >he has some p--- stored in his google drive >think nothing of it >this morning see him add a few things >some of it is gay p--- >one video in particular is father and son p--- I'm speechless and honestly kind of scared. What if he gets mad and f---- my ass one day. 2 REPLIES Anonymous 7 minutes ago 49969892 >>49969852 (OP) Then don't be a bitch and take it like a good boy.
Anonymous 9 minutes ago 49969852 >need to put my father's gmail account on my phone for something >as a result can also see all his email,s google drive, etc. >he has some p--- stored in his google drive >think nothing of it >this morning see him add a few things >some of it is gay p--- >one video in particular is father and son p--- I'm speechless and honestly kind of scared. What if he gets mad and f---- my ass one day. 2 REPLIES Anonymous 7 minutes ago 49969892 >>49969852 (OP) Then don't be a bitch and take it like a good boy.

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Anon is based | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 800423270 22 min ago Why are women so soft and cudly? Why do they smell so good? Not the fat ones of course 114.5 kB JPG 2 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 800423270 22 min ago Why are women so soft and cudly? Why do they smell so good? Not the fat ones of course 114.5 kB JPG 2 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon has inspiration | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:40:55 No.45529237 >>45529268 >>45529296 >>45529308 >>45529316 >>45529389 >>45529407 >>45529437 >>45529495 >45529551 >>45529614 245529924 >45529928 >>45529929 >>45529939 >>45530047 >>45530084 >>45530099 >>45530285 >>45530523 >>45530615 >>45530630 >>45530644 >>45530673 >>45530675 >>45531066 >>45531082 >>45531180 >>45531193 >>45531336 >>45531551 >>45531912 >>45531941 >>45532077 >>45532671 >>45532752 >>45533213 >>45533270 >>45533302 >>45533363 >>45534153 >>45534296 >>45535206 >>45535573 >>45536234 >>45536912 >>45538098 >>45538186 >>45538276 >>45538374 >>45538384 >>45538393 >»45538401 What fills you with pure rage so you can workout with maximum intensitity? >> Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:41:42 No.45529248 Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:43 24 No.45529265 Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:43:45 No.45529268 Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:45:01 No.45529286 >>45529866 >>45529882 >>45529957 >>45530054 >>45530166 >>45530604 >>45531093 >>45531320 >>45531334 >>45531579 >>45531625 >>45531715 >>45531841 >>45531846 >>45531861 >>45531874>>45531924 >>45532515 >>45533016 >>45533167 >>45533374 >>45533394 >>45533554 >>45534102 >>45534249 >>45535173 >>45535223 >>45535567 >>45535713 >>45535962 >>45536028 >>45536880 >>45536919 >>45537327>>45538518 >>45538640 >>45538777 >>45529302 >>45529572 >>45529643 >>45529662 I pretend the mirrors in the gym are actually two way windows and there are teams of German scientists on the other side examining the perfect A---- to present to the Führer.
Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:40:55 No.45529237 >>45529268 >>45529296 >>45529308 >>45529316 >>45529389 >>45529407 >>45529437 >>45529495 >45529551 >>45529614 245529924 >45529928 >>45529929 >>45529939 >>45530047 >>45530084 >>45530099 >>45530285 >>45530523 >>45530615 >>45530630 >>45530644 >>45530673 >>45530675 >>45531066 >>45531082 >>45531180 >>45531193 >>45531336 >>45531551 >>45531912 >>45531941 >>45532077 >>45532671 >>45532752 >>45533213 >>45533270 >>45533302 >>45533363 >>45534153 >>45534296 >>45535206 >>45535573 >>45536234 >>45536912 >>45538098 >>45538186 >>45538276 >>45538374 >>45538384 >>45538393 >»45538401 What fills you with pure rage so you can workout with maximum intensitity? >> Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:41:42 No.45529248 Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:43 24 No.45529265 Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:43:45 No.45529268 Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)15:45:01 No.45529286 >>45529866 >>45529882 >>45529957 >>45530054 >>45530166 >>45530604 >>45531093 >>45531320 >>45531334 >>45531579 >>45531625 >>45531715 >>45531841 >>45531846 >>45531861 >>45531874>>45531924 >>45532515 >>45533016 >>45533167 >>45533374 >>45533394 >>45533554 >>45534102 >>45534249 >>45535173 >>45535223 >>45535567 >>45535713 >>45535962 >>45536028 >>45536880 >>45536919 >>45537327>>45538518 >>45538640 >>45538777 >>45529302 >>45529572 >>45529643 >>45529662 I pretend the mirrors in the gym are actually two way windows and there are teams of German scientists on the other side examining the perfect A---- to present to the Führer.

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Anon is NPC | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/17/18(Mon)06:17:35 No.48178708 >no friends >no real hobbies >no special talents >no gf >meaningless, unfulfilling job I hate >don't believe in anything >observe other people living life, 27 KB PNG rather than actually experiencing it for myself Am I an NPC? 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 09/17/18(Mon)06:17:35 No.48178708 >no friends >no real hobbies >no special talents >no gf >meaningless, unfulfilling job I hate >don't believe in anything >observe other people living life, 27 KB PNG rather than actually experiencing it for myself Am I an NPC? 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is ugly | /r/Greentext

>me and this girl talking >asks me to send a pic of my face >I do >she blocks me Should I just kms lads? This completely ruined my day and now I don't even want to go to the gym anymore.
>me and this girl talking >asks me to send a pic of my face >I do >she blocks me Should I just kms lads? This completely ruined my day and now I don't even want to go to the gym anymore.

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Anon is curious | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 04/05/19(Fri)20:49:13 No.51799562 What happens when we die, seriously? 85 Replies / 15 Images View Thread I Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:36:52 No.51807552 : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:38:20 No.51807568 >>51799562 (OP) # You literally cannot die from your point of view. Ever had that moments when you could almost die from a simple mistake, but survived? Like, hit by a car if moved a little bit faster? Well, you actually died for everyone but you, because your conscious moved to the alternate universe where you didn't die, nobody knows how long you can live because 36 KB JPG nobody ever really died.
I Anonymous 04/05/19(Fri)20:49:13 No.51799562 What happens when we die, seriously? 85 Replies / 15 Images View Thread I Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:36:52 No.51807552 : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:38:20 No.51807568 >>51799562 (OP) # You literally cannot die from your point of view. Ever had that moments when you could almost die from a simple mistake, but survived? Like, hit by a car if moved a little bit faster? Well, you actually died for everyone but you, because your conscious moved to the alternate universe where you didn't die, nobody knows how long you can live because 36 KB JPG nobody ever really died.

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Anon faps to himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)18:18:13 No.62262561 [Autistic sereeching] 1612856872772.jpg 14 KB JPG I haven't talked to females in so long I think I'm becoming autosexual I've started fapping to my own image in the mirror and pics of my own butt 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)18:18:13 No.62262561 [Autistic sereeching] 1612856872772.jpg 14 KB JPG I haven't talked to females in so long I think I'm becoming autosexual I've started fapping to my own image in the mirror and pics of my own butt 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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whoops, common mistake | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/24/13(Sun)19:45:21 No.6215899 >eating sandwich at the beach >skipping stones >watching the sunset and thinking about life >throw sandwich into ocean >bite rock People saw.
Anonymous 03/24/13(Sun)19:45:21 No.6215899 >eating sandwich at the beach >skipping stones >watching the sunset and thinking about life >throw sandwich into ocean >bite rock People saw.

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/bant/ anon talks to a gril for the first time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: HXAUvCdu 02/10/21(Wed)14:18:32 No.12109499 >spoke to female >she didn't instantly become my gf after talking to me once what the hell 3 KB PNG
: Anonymous (ID: HXAUvCdu 02/10/21(Wed)14:18:32 No.12109499 >spoke to female >she didn't instantly become my gf after talking to me once what the hell 3 KB PNG

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Anon goes to Kmart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)16:47:05 No.846980973 >be me LOSING >2014 or so, mid 20's >driving to meat shop in nearby city for specific cut of meat 152 KB JPG >see a f------ honest to god Kmart >knock knock it's 1995 bitch > immediately pull in >maybe 4 cars there >go in >that smell hits me instantly, a smell I can't describe and this sounds crazy but it smelled like before 9/11 if that makes sense >browse every aisle >they have new things, but also old ones >electronic department, signage advertising game boy colors and Nintendo 64's >had accessories for both, but no consoles left >a few new TVs but also some old tv/vcr combos >I can't describe how surreal this was, it was like a fever dream >felt like it was the mid 90's again >l mean even the air, the way time flowed, I can't explain it Cont : Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)16:47:52 No.846981038 >I s--- you not as I browsed ancient garden supplies they played "everybody walk the dinosaur" >genuinely think I might have been in another dimension >buy some body wash >cashier rings me up >receipt prints in this super old printer >makes that old wirrrrrrrr noise >pos was on fat, old school monitor >leave and feel weird rest of day >go back a month later >store was closed
: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)16:47:05 No.846980973 >be me LOSING >2014 or so, mid 20's >driving to meat shop in nearby city for specific cut of meat 152 KB JPG >see a f------ honest to god Kmart >knock knock it's 1995 bitch > immediately pull in >maybe 4 cars there >go in >that smell hits me instantly, a smell I can't describe and this sounds crazy but it smelled like before 9/11 if that makes sense >browse every aisle >they have new things, but also old ones >electronic department, signage advertising game boy colors and Nintendo 64's >had accessories for both, but no consoles left >a few new TVs but also some old tv/vcr combos >I can't describe how surreal this was, it was like a fever dream >felt like it was the mid 90's again >l mean even the air, the way time flowed, I can't explain it Cont : Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)16:47:52 No.846981038 >I s--- you not as I browsed ancient garden supplies they played "everybody walk the dinosaur" >genuinely think I might have been in another dimension >buy some body wash >cashier rings me up >receipt prints in this super old printer >makes that old wirrrrrrrr noise >pos was on fat, old school monitor >leave and feel weird rest of day >go back a month later >store was closed

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Anon encounters Muslims on a plane | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah
: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah

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Life is a useless passion | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)19:17:28 No.62270789 File: 1599948256146.png (17 KB, 172x152) >grinding mining on oldschool runescape >suddenly ask myself what's the whole point of it anyway >remember there's no point to life at all >keep grinding
U Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)19:17:28 No.62270789 File: 1599948256146.png (17 KB, 172x152) >grinding mining on oldschool runescape >suddenly ask myself what's the whole point of it anyway >remember there's no point to life at all >keep grinding

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Anon learned the secret technic by accident. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)10:08:52 No.846838629 >>846839467 So ever since I was a kid, I used to do these dance moves/hand gestures in oddly specific locations e.g. corner of cafeteria, in toilet stall etc. thinking I would cast a spell to break out of the "simulation" >be me >4th grade >at school >walking back from recess to class >lean against railing of staircase 2nd floor 5th step >do an egyptian dance with head movements and everything >janitor at base of staircase drops dead from heart attack >panic >do it again a year later to test theory, ending some kid this time No one will ever believe me and call me schizo but if you do it at my old school on that location with a specific egyptian dance you can just kill people.
Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)10:08:52 No.846838629 >>846839467 So ever since I was a kid, I used to do these dance moves/hand gestures in oddly specific locations e.g. corner of cafeteria, in toilet stall etc. thinking I would cast a spell to break out of the "simulation" >be me >4th grade >at school >walking back from recess to class >lean against railing of staircase 2nd floor 5th step >do an egyptian dance with head movements and everything >janitor at base of staircase drops dead from heart attack >panic >do it again a year later to test theory, ending some kid this time No one will ever believe me and call me schizo but if you do it at my old school on that location with a specific egyptian dance you can just kill people.

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Anon doesn't know what to do | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i am a good person 06/10/19(Mon)21:52:18 No.52849891 >parents out for a week on vacation >17 year old little sister and her cute friend are having a weekend long sleepover >Little sister gone out to buy some stuff, her friend's sleeping 139 KB JPG >l could easily r--- her friend at any moment but I'm not it's so hard bros why am i such a moralfag : Anonymous 06/10/19(Mon)21:55:24 No.52849926 >>52849891 (OP) # why don't you just try flirting instead 90 KB JPG >>52849935 #
: Anonymous i am a good person 06/10/19(Mon)21:52:18 No.52849891 >parents out for a week on vacation >17 year old little sister and her cute friend are having a weekend long sleepover >Little sister gone out to buy some stuff, her friend's sleeping 139 KB JPG >l could easily r--- her friend at any moment but I'm not it's so hard bros why am i such a moralfag : Anonymous 06/10/19(Mon)21:55:24 No.52849926 >>52849891 (OP) # why don't you just try flirting instead 90 KB JPG >>52849935 #

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Anon is angry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)21:44:44 No.847033048 >be me >angry at the world >say that all women are sluts >"your mom and sister are sluts as well than" >don't have a rebuttal because they were sluts >got bullied in high school 31 KB JPG because my mom flirted with classmates
: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)21:44:44 No.847033048 >be me >angry at the world >say that all women are sluts >"your mom and sister are sluts as well than" >don't have a rebuttal because they were sluts >got bullied in high school 31 KB JPG because my mom flirted with classmates

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Anon destroys a tiktocker. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)08:54:34 No.62246885 >be blackbot >regularly browse tiktok for qts >find qt black weeb girl >see thread calling black girls ugly on /r9k/ >convert one of her videos to webm and 110 KB WEBM use it to respond >see webm reposted a few days later >go to view one of her tiktok videos today >deleted >"maybe she redid the video" >go to her account >not found >"maybe she changed her name" >search her username on google >links to twitter >multiple black cosplay girls complaining that she was run off of tiktok by racists >conveniently happens shortly after I posted her in a thread full of racists This is my fault, isn't it? : Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)08:57:43 No.62246912 >>62246885 (OP) # She looked like an asian girl cosplaying as sailormoon but with perfect blackface - it was pretty f------ funny. I'm not sure if it would have gotten traction without you. Probably not. >>62247031 # : Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)09:04:22 No.62246970 >>62246885 (OP) # So let me get this straight. You posted a girls social media on here and when she got harrased you are wondering if it's your fault? Yeah you f----- up.
: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)08:54:34 No.62246885 >be blackbot >regularly browse tiktok for qts >find qt black weeb girl >see thread calling black girls ugly on /r9k/ >convert one of her videos to webm and 110 KB WEBM use it to respond >see webm reposted a few days later >go to view one of her tiktok videos today >deleted >"maybe she redid the video" >go to her account >not found >"maybe she changed her name" >search her username on google >links to twitter >multiple black cosplay girls complaining that she was run off of tiktok by racists >conveniently happens shortly after I posted her in a thread full of racists This is my fault, isn't it? : Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)08:57:43 No.62246912 >>62246885 (OP) # She looked like an asian girl cosplaying as sailormoon but with perfect blackface - it was pretty f------ funny. I'm not sure if it would have gotten traction without you. Probably not. >>62247031 # : Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)09:04:22 No.62246970 >>62246885 (OP) # So let me get this straight. You posted a girls social media on here and when she got harrased you are wondering if it's your fault? Yeah you f----- up.

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Anon is fat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:29:11 No.47665686 074e7c5b-329e-49d7-b555-91929a374b37.jpg 57 KB JPG >be me >Watching Netflix health documentary >"haha fat people" >They're filming fatties in the street >"hey, I have that shirt" >"hey, I have those cargo shorts" >"hey, I know that building" %3D >mfw 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:31:06 No.47665705 so dont be fat you fat idiot
: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:29:11 No.47665686 074e7c5b-329e-49d7-b555-91929a374b37.jpg 57 KB JPG >be me >Watching Netflix health documentary >"haha fat people" >They're filming fatties in the street >"hey, I have that shirt" >"hey, I have those cargo shorts" >"hey, I know that building" %3D >mfw 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:31:06 No.47665705 so dont be fat you fat idiot

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anon suffers in the kitchen | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)08:17:14 No.15558033 File: 1583514093328.jpg (60 KB, 1024x1024) >mfw my housemate does s--- like chop all of her ingredients on a plate because she doesn't like cleaning the cutting board >knives are dull as s--- and won't let me sharpen them because she's scared of using sharp knives >I have one chefs knife I keep razor sharp and she refuses to touch it >regularly puts water on to boil and walks away until the water is all boiled off and has to try again >every nonstick pan in the house is ruined by metal implements >leaves meat out for 24+h sometimes to thaw, just lets it sit around at room temp for hours >got mad at me for having "too many blenders" >she was including my food processor and stand mixer in the list of "blenders" >one of her favorite dishes is potato "soup" which is just potato pieces boiled in milk I wish I was f------ kidding.
Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)08:17:14 No.15558033 File: 1583514093328.jpg (60 KB, 1024x1024) >mfw my housemate does s--- like chop all of her ingredients on a plate because she doesn't like cleaning the cutting board >knives are dull as s--- and won't let me sharpen them because she's scared of using sharp knives >I have one chefs knife I keep razor sharp and she refuses to touch it >regularly puts water on to boil and walks away until the water is all boiled off and has to try again >every nonstick pan in the house is ruined by metal implements >leaves meat out for 24+h sometimes to thaw, just lets it sit around at room temp for hours >got mad at me for having "too many blenders" >she was including my food processor and stand mixer in the list of "blenders" >one of her favorite dishes is potato "soup" which is just potato pieces boiled in milk I wish I was f------ kidding.

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