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Thanks dad | /r/Greentext

>be me >sad depressed >suicidal thoughts >dad notices >thinks it's because of my siblings >thinks i don't get enough attention >takes me to the planetarium every other 29 KB JPG weekend because i love space >falls asleep every time because he's working 12h a day >he always takes me >still alive >thanks dad
>be me >sad depressed >suicidal thoughts >dad notices >thinks it's because of my siblings >thinks i don't get enough attention >takes me to the planetarium every other 29 KB JPG weekend because i love space >falls asleep every time because he's working 12h a day >he always takes me >still alive >thanks dad

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Anon gets microchipped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)17:12:56 No.847230452 >Covid vaccine rolls out in my area >finally able to get it >get it because I'm not retarded 11 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)17:12:56 No.847230452 >Covid vaccine rolls out in my area >finally able to get it >get it because I'm not retarded 11 KB JPG

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Anon sleepwalks | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Have been sleepwalking a few times this week >Go to sleep >Dream that I went to the bathroom, took a s---, and ate a chunk of it >Wake up with a bad taste in my 102 KB JPG mouth Memecenter.com
>Be me >Have been sleepwalking a few times this week >Go to sleep >Dream that I went to the bathroom, took a s---, and ate a chunk of it >Wake up with a bad taste in my 102 KB JPG mouth Memecenter.com

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Anon likes music | /r/Greentext

Sad day today. True story. >Be me, 31, software programmer for a tech company in a city >Everyday get 45min break for lunch 46 KB JPG >The best places to eat are next to this bench area >Next to bench area is this bucket drummer >He's REALLY good. >Been going there to eat my lunch every mon-fri for the past year or so >Always give him a dollar. Least I could do. Pretty cheap for 30min of entertainment. >Went to my work today to grab my laptop >Got lunch in same spot as always, notice he isn't out there >Shrug it off, he probably isn't out here on Sundays. >Very sad woman comes and places flowers on where he normally performs >My heart skips a beat, I felt my stomach drop > "Who are those for?" > She proceeds to tell me that the drummer was killed by a driver that was texting while he was crossing the street >Told me his name was Devin >Never spoken a word to Devin, but everyday when I give him a dollar he'd smile and wave at me. >Even though I don't know Devin, or even his name until now, I'm devastated right now. >My life in the corporate cage sucked, Devin was my way of escaping into music. >Worst part was I never got to tell him how much better his music would make my s----- days. >RIP Devin, thank you for your beautiful music.
Sad day today. True story. >Be me, 31, software programmer for a tech company in a city >Everyday get 45min break for lunch 46 KB JPG >The best places to eat are next to this bench area >Next to bench area is this bucket drummer >He's REALLY good. >Been going there to eat my lunch every mon-fri for the past year or so >Always give him a dollar. Least I could do. Pretty cheap for 30min of entertainment. >Went to my work today to grab my laptop >Got lunch in same spot as always, notice he isn't out there >Shrug it off, he probably isn't out here on Sundays. >Very sad woman comes and places flowers on where he normally performs >My heart skips a beat, I felt my stomach drop > "Who are those for?" > She proceeds to tell me that the drummer was killed by a driver that was texting while he was crossing the street >Told me his name was Devin >Never spoken a word to Devin, but everyday when I give him a dollar he'd smile and wave at me. >Even though I don't know Devin, or even his name until now, I'm devastated right now. >My life in the corporate cage sucked, Devin was my way of escaping into music. >Worst part was I never got to tell him how much better his music would make my s----- days. >RIP Devin, thank you for your beautiful music.

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Anon, explain yourself! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)11:59:53 No.62277466 © Corbis vach2.jpg 38 KB JPG >anon we've received complaints from some of your coworkers that you don't say 'hello' to them in the morning >and it's only coming from the ladies. you don't seem to have a problem with greeting your male coworkers >care to explain yourself?
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)11:59:53 No.62277466 © Corbis vach2.jpg 38 KB JPG >anon we've received complaints from some of your coworkers that you don't say 'hello' to them in the morning >and it's only coming from the ladies. you don't seem to have a problem with greeting your male coworkers >care to explain yourself?

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Anon hears a jet | /r/Greentext

File: c5b41fdc0e763ebaacabb185e(...).png (65 KB, 420x280) Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)09:30:15 No.847182344 >>847182527 >>847182622 >Be me >wagecuck beta >working a s----- corporate finance job >today is Jessica's birthday >whocares.jfif >there's like 5 Jessicas how russians use voice chat >our manager makes us join a Zoom call with cameras on because corporate autism >"Happy Birthday to you, Jessica!!! OMG!!" >"Everyone, now let's each wish Jessica something, that starts with a letter J"! >areyoufuckingkiddingme.webm >everyone wishes normie s--- like 'jolliness' and 'joy' >how can you be joyful while stuck in this awful meeting >but then it happened >it was some grill's from accounting turn to give her corporate-mandated letter J wish >and I kid you f------ not >she leans in to her corporate-issued PC microphone as close as possible and just >"JET PLANE FLYING" >absolute riot >sounds like pic related >Russian voicecoms on CSGO >I swear I could hear "Rush audit team, finance in mid" in the background >Jessica just hits us with the :) >silence for a few seconds >"A brand new Jeep!", exclaims Dave from tax >the corporate wagecuckery continues Thank you, random grill from accounting, for brightening this morning for just a few glorious seconds, you absolute memelord
File: c5b41fdc0e763ebaacabb185e(...).png (65 KB, 420x280) Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)09:30:15 No.847182344 >>847182527 >>847182622 >Be me >wagecuck beta >working a s----- corporate finance job >today is Jessica's birthday >whocares.jfif >there's like 5 Jessicas how russians use voice chat >our manager makes us join a Zoom call with cameras on because corporate autism >"Happy Birthday to you, Jessica!!! OMG!!" >"Everyone, now let's each wish Jessica something, that starts with a letter J"! >areyoufuckingkiddingme.webm >everyone wishes normie s--- like 'jolliness' and 'joy' >how can you be joyful while stuck in this awful meeting >but then it happened >it was some grill's from accounting turn to give her corporate-mandated letter J wish >and I kid you f------ not >she leans in to her corporate-issued PC microphone as close as possible and just >"JET PLANE FLYING" >absolute riot >sounds like pic related >Russian voicecoms on CSGO >I swear I could hear "Rush audit team, finance in mid" in the background >Jessica just hits us with the :) >silence for a few seconds >"A brand new Jeep!", exclaims Dave from tax >the corporate wagecuckery continues Thank you, random grill from accounting, for brightening this morning for just a few glorious seconds, you absolute memelord

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Anon explains Christianity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)10:17:41 No.544043974 >at first there was nothing, but then a magic man in the clouds created the entire universe in seven days >then a talking snake told a woman to eat an apple 6 KB JPG >this made the magic man angry and he wiped everything out >then he created everything again >magic man gets a son >son gets nails in his hands and dies like a p---- >then it starts raining frogs or something >some dude with a boat rescues two of every animal >if you don't believe in this story, you will not be accepted into the magic cloud palace when you die >instead you will be sent to an eternal fire where an evil goat man is preparing an army of demons who will one day take over the Earth Is there anything more schizophrenic than christianity?
: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)10:17:41 No.544043974 >at first there was nothing, but then a magic man in the clouds created the entire universe in seven days >then a talking snake told a woman to eat an apple 6 KB JPG >this made the magic man angry and he wiped everything out >then he created everything again >magic man gets a son >son gets nails in his hands and dies like a p---- >then it starts raining frogs or something >some dude with a boat rescues two of every animal >if you don't believe in this story, you will not be accepted into the magic cloud palace when you die >instead you will be sent to an eternal fire where an evil goat man is preparing an army of demons who will one day take over the Earth Is there anything more schizophrenic than christianity?

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Anon is happy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)15:36:46 No.847220595 >be me, sad >think there are no upsides to my life >realize one day I lucked out and wasn't born French >happy 34 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)15:36:46 No.847220595 >be me, sad >think there are no upsides to my life >realize one day I lucked out and wasn't born French >happy 34 KB JPG

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Anon is a psychologist | /r/Greentext

New gym Posing lol le: 2015-10-08 22.44. 44.png (2.51 MB, 2560x1440) O Anonymous 10/09/15(Fri)04:46:05 No.34469307 > >>34469345 >>34469359 >>34469369 >>34469386 >>34469394 >>34469403 >>34469417 >>34469437 >>34469481 >>34469587 >>34469 >>34469617 >>34469619 >>34469634 >>34469649 >>34469672 >>34469692 >>34469861 >>34469943 >>34470082 >>34470469 >>34470483 >>34470551 >>34470555 >>34470572 >>34470796 >>34470891 >>34471007 >>34471028 >>34471408 >>34471625 >>34472267 Why are girls so mean, /fit/? Especially the ones that lift. J Anonymous 10/09/15(Fri)05:01:35 No.34469481 ► >>34469522 >>34469541 >>34469563 >>34469564 >>34469570 >>34469574 >>34469627 >>34469647 >>34469726 >>34470130 >>34470311 >>34470354 >>34470382 >>34470500 >>34470529 >34470579 >>34470785 >>34470887 >>34470923 >>34470957 >>34471085 >>34471087 >>34471133 >>34471396 >>34471906 >>34471950 >>34472206 >>34472222 >>34472423 >>34469307 (OP) You have to get into the mindset of a girl to understand. To be at that level of self absorption is something men will find very hard to comprehend. The whole reason she took that pic is because she thought that the silly face she was doing made her look cute, but she can't just post some random pic of her making that face because it would be weird. So she looks around and tries to find something weird going on that would be a good excuse for her to make that face. She can't really see anything but she sees some guy and thinks maybe I can use the way he's standing as an excuse to take a pic of me making my sexy cute face. Now the man in the pic looks like a perfectly normal dude who isn't really doing anything weird but that's not relevant. He was just a prop she could use to further her own vain pursuits. His feelings or even the way he was standing didn't come into the equation at all. It's like when a girl tweets "When he is 6'4 <3 <3 xD". She's not thinking of the billions of guys who aren't 6'4 that might get upset about that. She's just thinking about that one 6'4 guy in her class and what she can do to get him to notice her. "hmm maybe he doesn't know he likes me. I know! l'll post a tweet saying I like guys who look like him". When you start to take peoples feelings out of the equation only think inwardly it becomes easy to understand. Basically when she posted that pic the only thing that was going through her mind was "I hope people think this face makes me look cute"
New gym Posing lol le: 2015-10-08 22.44. 44.png (2.51 MB, 2560x1440) O Anonymous 10/09/15(Fri)04:46:05 No.34469307 > >>34469345 >>34469359 >>34469369 >>34469386 >>34469394 >>34469403 >>34469417 >>34469437 >>34469481 >>34469587 >>34469 >>34469617 >>34469619 >>34469634 >>34469649 >>34469672 >>34469692 >>34469861 >>34469943 >>34470082 >>34470469 >>34470483 >>34470551 >>34470555 >>34470572 >>34470796 >>34470891 >>34471007 >>34471028 >>34471408 >>34471625 >>34472267 Why are girls so mean, /fit/? Especially the ones that lift. J Anonymous 10/09/15(Fri)05:01:35 No.34469481 ► >>34469522 >>34469541 >>34469563 >>34469564 >>34469570 >>34469574 >>34469627 >>34469647 >>34469726 >>34470130 >>34470311 >>34470354 >>34470382 >>34470500 >>34470529 >34470579 >>34470785 >>34470887 >>34470923 >>34470957 >>34471085 >>34471087 >>34471133 >>34471396 >>34471906 >>34471950 >>34472206 >>34472222 >>34472423 >>34469307 (OP) You have to get into the mindset of a girl to understand. To be at that level of self absorption is something men will find very hard to comprehend. The whole reason she took that pic is because she thought that the silly face she was doing made her look cute, but she can't just post some random pic of her making that face because it would be weird. So she looks around and tries to find something weird going on that would be a good excuse for her to make that face. She can't really see anything but she sees some guy and thinks maybe I can use the way he's standing as an excuse to take a pic of me making my sexy cute face. Now the man in the pic looks like a perfectly normal dude who isn't really doing anything weird but that's not relevant. He was just a prop she could use to further her own vain pursuits. His feelings or even the way he was standing didn't come into the equation at all. It's like when a girl tweets "When he is 6'4 <3 <3 xD". She's not thinking of the billions of guys who aren't 6'4 that might get upset about that. She's just thinking about that one 6'4 guy in her class and what she can do to get him to notice her. "hmm maybe he doesn't know he likes me. I know! l'll post a tweet saying I like guys who look like him". When you start to take peoples feelings out of the equation only think inwardly it becomes easy to understand. Basically when she posted that pic the only thing that was going through her mind was "I hope people think this face makes me look cute"

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Anon missed the chance to be his own boss | /r/Greentext

Feels Thread >Be me >21 skinny awkward > Don't have a lot of friends > Never dated anyone > Just go to work and college > Out of nowhere a cute 7/10 girl invites me to hangout >I get excited, start to brag to my family and co workers >Day comes, I get ready >little sister helps me, pick out clothes, she's excited to see me so happy. > Drive to address she sends me > Pull up, its a weird, business. > Go inside, People sitting around. > See her, we start talking. > Slowly realize that it's a multi level marketing presentation. > Realize she only wanted to make money off of me. >I leave >Go home little Sister asks why I'm home so early. > Go in room and cry 858.6 kB PNG I haven't felt this crappy in a long time.
Feels Thread >Be me >21 skinny awkward > Don't have a lot of friends > Never dated anyone > Just go to work and college > Out of nowhere a cute 7/10 girl invites me to hangout >I get excited, start to brag to my family and co workers >Day comes, I get ready >little sister helps me, pick out clothes, she's excited to see me so happy. > Drive to address she sends me > Pull up, its a weird, business. > Go inside, People sitting around. > See her, we start talking. > Slowly realize that it's a multi level marketing presentation. > Realize she only wanted to make money off of me. >I leave >Go home little Sister asks why I'm home so early. > Go in room and cry 858.6 kB PNG I haven't felt this crappy in a long time.

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Anon makes a tinder account. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)08:49:07 No.847183489 >be me >2016 >make tinder >swipe right on literally everyone >change distance by one mile, more people to swipe right on >repeat until literally no one left >0 matches- not even a bot. 59 KB JPG >a hypothesis! >maybe it's my area or what i say in my profile >make a fake account >google "white chad" and find male model named chad white, use his pics to make a fake account but keep literally everything else the same >repeat process >140 matches first day >talk to them >VERY different experience than i've ever had before, girls throwing themselves at me non-stop
: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)08:49:07 No.847183489 >be me >2016 >make tinder >swipe right on literally everyone >change distance by one mile, more people to swipe right on >repeat until literally no one left >0 matches- not even a bot. 59 KB JPG >a hypothesis! >maybe it's my area or what i say in my profile >make a fake account >google "white chad" and find male model named chad white, use his pics to make a fake account but keep literally everything else the same >repeat process >140 matches first day >talk to them >VERY different experience than i've ever had before, girls throwing themselves at me non-stop

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Anon loves his dad | /r/Greentext

>be me >sad depressed >suicidal thoughts >dad notices >thinks it's because of my siblings >thinks i don't get enough attention >takes me to the planetarium every other 29 KB JPG weekend because i love space >falls asleep every time because he's working 12h a day >he always takes me >still alive >thanks dad
>be me >sad depressed >suicidal thoughts >dad notices >thinks it's because of my siblings >thinks i don't get enough attention >takes me to the planetarium every other 29 KB JPG weekend because i love space >falls asleep every time because he's working 12h a day >he always takes me >still alive >thanks dad

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Anon is thankful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/19(Mon)08:56:21 No.816839866 > be me, middle class worker > suddenly have f------ bad cough > I can't stand still because my legs are shaking and I have a huge fever > call the doc 37 KB JPG > have a few days off, so i can rest and comme back to work when I'm in shape > none of my coworkers will get sick >i am not going bankrupt for seeing a doc and a box of medicine > totally stress free while I am recovering I am so glad I am not american 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 12/23/19(Mon)08:56:21 No.816839866 > be me, middle class worker > suddenly have f------ bad cough > I can't stand still because my legs are shaking and I have a huge fever > call the doc 37 KB JPG > have a few days off, so i can rest and comme back to work when I'm in shape > none of my coworkers will get sick >i am not going bankrupt for seeing a doc and a box of medicine > totally stress free while I am recovering I am so glad I am not american 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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anon invents science | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)10:00:24 No.847184061 >Wear black outside sunny day, get White light White light reflected warm because the color black absorbs light >Black absorbs the light/warmth from the sun >Places where black people have inhabited for thousands of years are White surface White light No light reflected Black surface 204 KB PNG deserts. >Black people causes global warming due to them being black and absorbing the suns rays. >The increase in black people is slowly killing our planet. >BLACK PEOPLE CAUSES GLOBAL WARMING Prove me wrong, you literally can't. Your tiny brainwashed brain will just go "no ur stuped" because you literally can't find any faulty logic with my reasoning. 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)12:11:19 No.847189151 >>847184559 # >l fukken love soience
: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)10:00:24 No.847184061 >Wear black outside sunny day, get White light White light reflected warm because the color black absorbs light >Black absorbs the light/warmth from the sun >Places where black people have inhabited for thousands of years are White surface White light No light reflected Black surface 204 KB PNG deserts. >Black people causes global warming due to them being black and absorbing the suns rays. >The increase in black people is slowly killing our planet. >BLACK PEOPLE CAUSES GLOBAL WARMING Prove me wrong, you literally can't. Your tiny brainwashed brain will just go "no ur stuped" because you literally can't find any faulty logic with my reasoning. 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)12:11:19 No.847189151 >>847184559 # >l fukken love soience

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Anon drug dealer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and feels good broke so decide to sell fake drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to man 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say l'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class
: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and feels good broke so decide to sell fake drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to man 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say l'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class

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Anon is an artist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)16:14:29 No.138916267 Oedwih mapcherete _0.jpg 118 KB JPG lol haha
: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)16:14:29 No.138916267 Oedwih mapcherete _0.jpg 118 KB JPG lol haha

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Anon masturbates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/17(Sun)11:09:09 No.35624375 >be me >feel horny and want to j------- >search up 'm----------- tips for men' Erection in progress >article says to take a deep breath when you're about to climax 485 KB PNG >decide to do this >open up p--- of my waifu >j------- >about to climax >hold my breath instead of taking a deep breath >climax >head starts pounding and i can feel my muscles tensing >throw up on my own j--- >cry myself to sleep Why do I do this to myself?
: Anonymous 03/19/17(Sun)11:09:09 No.35624375 >be me >feel horny and want to j------- >search up 'm----------- tips for men' Erection in progress >article says to take a deep breath when you're about to climax 485 KB PNG >decide to do this >open up p--- of my waifu >j------- >about to climax >hold my breath instead of taking a deep breath >climax >head starts pounding and i can feel my muscles tensing >throw up on my own j--- >cry myself to sleep Why do I do this to myself?

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Anon got pizza | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)19:43:05 No.847150334 >be me >be ordering a pizza >metlovers because I'm a f----- 320 >5-10 mins > Pizza guy comes but it's not a guy >it's a 8/10 girl >super pale and skinny 614 KB JPG >l try and act normal >she looks kinda freaked out >she says it's $44 >l give her the money >she runs >idk frens I think it went well >talked to a hot girl and I got pizza today was pretty awesome
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)19:43:05 No.847150334 >be me >be ordering a pizza >metlovers because I'm a f----- 320 >5-10 mins > Pizza guy comes but it's not a guy >it's a 8/10 girl >super pale and skinny 614 KB JPG >l try and act normal >she looks kinda freaked out >she says it's $44 >l give her the money >she runs >idk frens I think it went well >talked to a hot girl and I got pizza today was pretty awesome

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Anon is dumb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)21:14:04 No.842264200 >be me >retard >never done drugs once in my life >friends and family all think I smoke weed every day >boss also thinks I show 27 KB PNG up high to work >nobody believes me when I tell them l'm just f------ stupid >mfw View Thread
: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)21:14:04 No.842264200 >be me >retard >never done drugs once in my life >friends and family all think I smoke weed every day >boss also thinks I show 27 KB PNG up high to work >nobody believes me when I tell them l'm just f------ stupid >mfw View Thread

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Anon has sympathy | /r/Greentext

No.17520010 10 hours ago awoyYdx 460s.jpg JPG 15.5 KİB 460x403 >learning more about islam and the modern middle east >read Osama's writings >begin to feel negative about US intervention and sympathetic towards Islamic terrorists anyone else? 26 replies
No.17520010 10 hours ago awoyYdx 460s.jpg JPG 15.5 KİB 460x403 >learning more about islam and the modern middle east >read Osama's writings >begin to feel negative about US intervention and sympathetic towards Islamic terrorists anyone else? 26 replies

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