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anon is a dog | /r/Greentext

>>146472512 # >be around 8 or so, sister is 12ish >sitting in tv room >there's a bronze statue with exposed breasts in this room >me, my sister and my mom >mom leaves room >i run over and start rubbing my penis on the statue because i know it gets my sister annoyed >she screams and says "MOM HE'S DOING IT" or whatever and mom doesn't care >continue just smashing my penis against the statue >as soon as i hear mom coming back i quickly sit down cross legged like nothing happened >sister complains to mom but nothing >also, unrelated but one time i sat down and i just started to do a s--- on the floor and mom got angry and carried me to the bath and used the shower to shower the s--- off my butt and i remember seeing the sticker for an apple that i ate by accident in the s--- as it went down the sinkhole
>>146472512 # >be around 8 or so, sister is 12ish >sitting in tv room >there's a bronze statue with exposed breasts in this room >me, my sister and my mom >mom leaves room >i run over and start rubbing my penis on the statue because i know it gets my sister annoyed >she screams and says "MOM HE'S DOING IT" or whatever and mom doesn't care >continue just smashing my penis against the statue >as soon as i hear mom coming back i quickly sit down cross legged like nothing happened >sister complains to mom but nothing >also, unrelated but one time i sat down and i just started to do a s--- on the floor and mom got angry and carried me to the bath and used the shower to shower the s--- off my butt and i remember seeing the sticker for an apple that i ate by accident in the s--- as it went down the sinkhole

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What every student hates to hear | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)22:34:56 No.62168881 >For this project, I will be assigning you all into groups of four 31 KB PNG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)22:34:56 No.62168881 >For this project, I will be assigning you all into groups of four 31 KB PNG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is down bad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 790197942 49 min. ago ... >at a party >sitting alone and petting dog because aspergers.jpg >cute 6/10 with nice tight bod comes up to me > "hehe are you more of a dog person than a cat person anon" Autism kicks in 178.3 kB JPG > "hehe a holes a hole to me"
Anonymous | 790197942 49 min. ago ... >at a party >sitting alone and petting dog because aspergers.jpg >cute 6/10 with nice tight bod comes up to me > "hehe are you more of a dog person than a cat person anon" Autism kicks in 178.3 kB JPG > "hehe a holes a hole to me"

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Anon is disgusted | /r/Greentext

>be me a few years ago >take drugs sometimes with buddy >i stop and leave for college >he keeps doing drugs >makes his own dmt >fries his brain >now a schizo >dont talk to him for 2 years >sometimes he sends me weird messages >today i learn that hes been jacking off in front of kids and messaging high school friends about their kids. what do /b/?
>be me a few years ago >take drugs sometimes with buddy >i stop and leave for college >he keeps doing drugs >makes his own dmt >fries his brain >now a schizo >dont talk to him for 2 years >sometimes he sends me weird messages >today i learn that hes been jacking off in front of kids and messaging high school friends about their kids. what do /b/?

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Anon is a genius | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)22:24:50 No.847333236 >be me >have 3DS >need to put it somewhere >to lazy to get out of chair >throw it on bed >accidentally hit guitar on bed >oh s---.jpg 22 KB JPG >retreive 3ds >realize left trigger is broken >s--- bricks >"hmm maybe if i bang it again it'll work" >beat 3ds trigger harder than my meat on a friday night >actually works >kek
: Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)22:24:50 No.847333236 >be me >have 3DS >need to put it somewhere >to lazy to get out of chair >throw it on bed >accidentally hit guitar on bed >oh s---.jpg 22 KB JPG >retreive 3ds >realize left trigger is broken >s--- bricks >"hmm maybe if i bang it again it'll work" >beat 3ds trigger harder than my meat on a friday night >actually works >kek

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Anon likes gum | /r/Greentext

OAnonymous 02/15/15(Sun)02:51:58 No.21821843 >21821857 >>21821864 >>21821869 >>21823011 File: FeelinGood.png (5 KB, 645x773) >Be me >19 yo, 6/10 >Go out for Valentines Day with bestie of 3 years >9/10 >It's technically a date >Dinner and 50 Shades of S--- >Get ice cream afterwards >Give her a glass flower I bought earlier in the month >She loves it and we go for a walk >PULL OUT 5GUM: TRUTH OR DARE, pack >Her wrapper says to take a selfie with eyes closed >She does >l read mine It says to ask the most beautiful person in the room for a kiss >We laugh it off but I remember the glass flower base has a mirror on the bottom side Where's the most beautiful girl at tho? >Look at the mirrored base Oh look I found her! >Show her the mirrored base of the flower >We smile and kiss for the first time ever >She reads her the other part of her wrapper >"What's the most romantic moment you've shared with the person next you?" >"This one right now" >mfw how it feels to chew 5gum
OAnonymous 02/15/15(Sun)02:51:58 No.21821843 >21821857 >>21821864 >>21821869 >>21823011 File: FeelinGood.png (5 KB, 645x773) >Be me >19 yo, 6/10 >Go out for Valentines Day with bestie of 3 years >9/10 >It's technically a date >Dinner and 50 Shades of S--- >Get ice cream afterwards >Give her a glass flower I bought earlier in the month >She loves it and we go for a walk >PULL OUT 5GUM: TRUTH OR DARE, pack >Her wrapper says to take a selfie with eyes closed >She does >l read mine It says to ask the most beautiful person in the room for a kiss >We laugh it off but I remember the glass flower base has a mirror on the bottom side Where's the most beautiful girl at tho? >Look at the mirrored base Oh look I found her! >Show her the mirrored base of the flower >We smile and kiss for the first time ever >She reads her the other part of her wrapper >"What's the most romantic moment you've shared with the person next you?" >"This one right now" >mfw how it feels to chew 5gum

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anon eats the prefect food | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)10:37:22 No.15577769 File: loukoumades.jpg (86 KB, 1024x680) The chad spherical mathematically perfect doughnuts from Greece trumps all others >small size >more overall surface/volume ratio >fried instantly, allows for made-on-demand practice, they always come fresh and hot >adjustable portion >bite sized so you dont make a mess >aesthetically pleasing >honey and walnut or pistachio topping >perfect for sharing with gf and feeding each other for maximum romantic cringe
Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)10:37:22 No.15577769 File: loukoumades.jpg (86 KB, 1024x680) The chad spherical mathematically perfect doughnuts from Greece trumps all others >small size >more overall surface/volume ratio >fried instantly, allows for made-on-demand practice, they always come fresh and hot >adjustable portion >bite sized so you dont make a mess >aesthetically pleasing >honey and walnut or pistachio topping >perfect for sharing with gf and feeding each other for maximum romantic cringe

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Anon plays Persona | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)14:25:29 No.542333413 09/10 SA Evening Nanako Welcome home! maxresdefault (24).jpg 63 KB JPG >go to school >talk to no one >go home alone immediately after school >nobody greats you >go straight to bedroom and sit at computer until you fall asleep >never go to any events or festivals >never increase any stats Has anyone actually tried roleplaying themselves in Persona?
: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)14:25:29 No.542333413 09/10 SA Evening Nanako Welcome home! maxresdefault (24).jpg 63 KB JPG >go to school >talk to no one >go home alone immediately after school >nobody greats you >go straight to bedroom and sit at computer until you fall asleep >never go to any events or festivals >never increase any stats Has anyone actually tried roleplaying themselves in Persona?

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Anon has a hero | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/29/19(Tue)17:43:55 No.791278765 >help millions with depression >be ranked as best artist in your career >donate to charities >help the homeless, generally be a good guy >be mourned by people across the planet >be bob ross >pic unrelated
Anonymous 01/29/19(Tue)17:43:55 No.791278765 >help millions with depression >be ranked as best artist in your career >donate to charities >help the homeless, generally be a good guy >be mourned by people across the planet >be bob ross >pic unrelated

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anon is opressed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)17:01:40 No.139471120 [Reply] I >>139474971 >>139471338 >>139471707 >>13947 >l suffer in the middle east + 48 replies and 11 images omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous [:] 02/13/21(Sat)18:08:03 No.139474971 >>139475163 >>139471120 (OP) I hate coomers so f------ much. You must be castrated as soon as possible, let's see if you like it. >> Anonymous 1 02/13/21(Sat)18:11:02 No.139475163 >>139474971 >ffw no latina gf to castrate me
Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)17:01:40 No.139471120 [Reply] I >>139474971 >>139471338 >>139471707 >>13947 >l suffer in the middle east + 48 replies and 11 images omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous [:] 02/13/21(Sat)18:08:03 No.139474971 >>139475163 >>139471120 (OP) I hate coomers so f------ much. You must be castrated as soon as possible, let's see if you like it. >> Anonymous 1 02/13/21(Sat)18:11:02 No.139475163 >>139474971 >ffw no latina gf to castrate me

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anon has a nice time | /r/Greentext

File: cozy.jpg (14 KB, 196x196) O Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)15:13:50 No.15578482 [Reply] >be me >feeling down >drink some green tea >soon feel better thank you green tea Showing all replies. Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)15:14:43 No.15578485 >>15578482 (OP) Who the f--- else would you be, retard?
File: cozy.jpg (14 KB, 196x196) O Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)15:13:50 No.15578482 [Reply] >be me >feeling down >drink some green tea >soon feel better thank you green tea Showing all replies. Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)15:14:43 No.15578485 >>15578482 (OP) Who the f--- else would you be, retard?

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Anon witnesses a battle for the ages | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/05/15(Sat)23:25:38 No.28103985 >>28104247 >>28104335 >>28105658 >28105734 >>28106936 >>28110951 -KKII YAAAAAAAA! >live next to river >KKII >geese swarm our yard every year >neighbor is korean >likes to practice martial arts in his back yard >go outside one morning and look off our back deck >korean is in dramatic martial arts pose with a staff >4 geese are hissing menacingly >KKIIIIYYYAAAAAĂAAAAAA! >Korean guy charges >geese charge >today the spirits of his warrior anscestors have posessed him, a flurry of blows follow >one goose dead, one with its wing hanging like its broken and the rest run away while broken winged one flops around honking >korean guy makes asian fighting noises while he twirls his staff over his head >the east will show no mercy today > asian fighting noises red as it is possible >he turns as >he smashes its head >he is breathing heavily and grinning like an idiot >I start clapping >he turns as red as it is possible for an asian to blush >hurriedly grabs two dead geese and sprints into his house >funniest s--- l've ever seen. for an asian to blush 404 - the east will show no mercy today Lamn 2 00000
Anonymous 12/05/15(Sat)23:25:38 No.28103985 >>28104247 >>28104335 >>28105658 >28105734 >>28106936 >>28110951 -KKII YAAAAAAAA! >live next to river >KKII >geese swarm our yard every year >neighbor is korean >likes to practice martial arts in his back yard >go outside one morning and look off our back deck >korean is in dramatic martial arts pose with a staff >4 geese are hissing menacingly >KKIIIIYYYAAAAAĂAAAAAA! >Korean guy charges >geese charge >today the spirits of his warrior anscestors have posessed him, a flurry of blows follow >one goose dead, one with its wing hanging like its broken and the rest run away while broken winged one flops around honking >korean guy makes asian fighting noises while he twirls his staff over his head >the east will show no mercy today > asian fighting noises red as it is possible >he turns as >he smashes its head >he is breathing heavily and grinning like an idiot >I start clapping >he turns as red as it is possible for an asian to blush >hurriedly grabs two dead geese and sprints into his house >funniest s--- l've ever seen. for an asian to blush 404 - the east will show no mercy today Lamn 2 00000

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Anon has a spider situation | /r/Greentext

File: image_2021-02-14 013351.png (133 KB, 350x294) I Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)01:35:28 No.62314611 ► >be me 2 years ago >chill on my bed >with a corner of my eye see a quick small black thing >it's a f------ spider >on my f------ bed >in a d--- sized proximity within my hand >flick that m----------- out of pure panic >spidernotpresent.tiff >look under bed >enemyspotted.flp >that f----- is not moving an inch >out of uncontaminated autism decide to film the spider >sit and look at him for like a straight minute through my phone >get bored >"since that bitch scared me I will now scare him too" >flick my body and unleash a screech of pure retardation >spider runs off >be me 2 hours ago >go through old photos and videos >notice a weird thumbnail consisting of just floor >out of distilled autism watch the video where I just sit and stare at a spider for a minute >forget a very imporant part >mfw actually get scared by my past autistic self
File: image_2021-02-14 013351.png (133 KB, 350x294) I Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)01:35:28 No.62314611 ► >be me 2 years ago >chill on my bed >with a corner of my eye see a quick small black thing >it's a f------ spider >on my f------ bed >in a d--- sized proximity within my hand >flick that m----------- out of pure panic >spidernotpresent.tiff >look under bed >enemyspotted.flp >that f----- is not moving an inch >out of uncontaminated autism decide to film the spider >sit and look at him for like a straight minute through my phone >get bored >"since that bitch scared me I will now scare him too" >flick my body and unleash a screech of pure retardation >spider runs off >be me 2 hours ago >go through old photos and videos >notice a weird thumbnail consisting of just floor >out of distilled autism watch the video where I just sit and stare at a spider for a minute >forget a very imporant part >mfw actually get scared by my past autistic self

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anon lives the life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)17:20:28 No.15578937 File: pep.jpg (68 KB, 640x640) >be me >feeling down >watch some Gordon Ramsay Hell's Kitchen Season 10, 2 + 3 UNCENSORED EXTENDED HIGHLIGHTS >soon feel better https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdLC_HNq_lg [Embed]
Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)17:20:28 No.15578937 File: pep.jpg (68 KB, 640x640) >be me >feeling down >watch some Gordon Ramsay Hell's Kitchen Season 10, 2 + 3 UNCENSORED EXTENDED HIGHLIGHTS >soon feel better https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdLC_HNq_lg [Embed]

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Priviet bratishka, kak dela? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Cia 02/13/21(Sat)22:41:11 No.139492275 >Greetings from (Impoverished Eastern European City)! >Today, as I walk through dystopian hellhole, I'm going to inconsiderately shove my camera in people's faces and document them the way a National Geographic wildlife expert 9 KB JPG documents the surrounding fauna. >You see, radiating ridiculous amounts of confidence, charisma, and a nice smile renders people completely oblivious to the fact that I take advantage of desperate eastern European girls on a regular basis under the guise of being a "cool international vlogger" >Haha! Here we have the local beggar with severe frostbite, *points camera at him* priviet bratishka, kak dela? >*films the surrounding poverty and misery* >Haha! Other than that near miss in Chechnya, I have no idea how I didn't get lynched yet! It's insane how much l'm getting away with! >Lets move on then! Thanks for tuning in!
: Anonymous Cia 02/13/21(Sat)22:41:11 No.139492275 >Greetings from (Impoverished Eastern European City)! >Today, as I walk through dystopian hellhole, I'm going to inconsiderately shove my camera in people's faces and document them the way a National Geographic wildlife expert 9 KB JPG documents the surrounding fauna. >You see, radiating ridiculous amounts of confidence, charisma, and a nice smile renders people completely oblivious to the fact that I take advantage of desperate eastern European girls on a regular basis under the guise of being a "cool international vlogger" >Haha! Here we have the local beggar with severe frostbite, *points camera at him* priviet bratishka, kak dela? >*films the surrounding poverty and misery* >Haha! Other than that near miss in Chechnya, I have no idea how I didn't get lynched yet! It's insane how much l'm getting away with! >Lets move on then! Thanks for tuning in!

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When you have zero class | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)22:27:50 No.847249876 Hey 10:22 PM Going to a funeral tomorrow 10:23 PM Want to know if they read your message? Yes! Well maybe you can use some good f------ 10:23 PM I'm literally going to a funeral for a family member who f------ died dude Delivered 10:23 PM F43F4COF-793E-4268-913C-61C05A04C716.png 97 KB PNG >be me >text a dude >he says he's going to a funeral tomorrow >amazingidea.jpg >ask him to f--- >get mad when he gets upset by this Jfc have some f------ class
: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)22:27:50 No.847249876 Hey 10:22 PM Going to a funeral tomorrow 10:23 PM Want to know if they read your message? Yes! Well maybe you can use some good f------ 10:23 PM I'm literally going to a funeral for a family member who f------ died dude Delivered 10:23 PM F43F4COF-793E-4268-913C-61C05A04C716.png 97 KB PNG >be me >text a dude >he says he's going to a funeral tomorrow >amazingidea.jpg >ask him to f--- >get mad when he gets upset by this Jfc have some f------ class

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Anon wants cute gf | /r/Greentext

Oa90087c9190c1e4129fc3e0d(...).jpg (75 KB, 750x750) google yandex iqdb wait O Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)10:46:54 No.62306851 [9] [Reply] v >>62306871 >>62306886 how do i get a cute deaf gf? Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)10:47:10 No.62306852 v >>62306903 Yell out for her.
Oa90087c9190c1e4129fc3e0d(...).jpg (75 KB, 750x750) google yandex iqdb wait O Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)10:46:54 No.62306851 [9] [Reply] v >>62306871 >>62306886 how do i get a cute deaf gf? Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)10:47:10 No.62306852 v >>62306903 Yell out for her.

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anon is ant | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)17:33:10 No.3685245 [Reply] >be ant >one of the worlds strongest animals in relation to size >found on literally every continent besides antarctica >fire ants cause billions in damages >invasive ant species decimate ecosystems >have existed since the dinosaurs >literally defeated by an autistic kid with a hunger for ants why?
O Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)17:33:10 No.3685245 [Reply] >be ant >one of the worlds strongest animals in relation to size >found on literally every continent besides antarctica >fire ants cause billions in damages >invasive ant species decimate ecosystems >have existed since the dinosaurs >literally defeated by an autistic kid with a hunger for ants why?

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JapAnon experiences another earthquake | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: MdP//3CL 02/13/21(Sat)15:23:39 No.307916469 >>307916619 Lmao I was jerking my d--- as the earthquake hit and it was like Mother Nature herself was tossing me off.
Anonymous (ID: MdP//3CL 02/13/21(Sat)15:23:39 No.307916469 >>307916619 Lmao I was jerking my d--- as the earthquake hit and it was like Mother Nature herself was tossing me off.

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Anon is a degenerate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: IJNhf8Af ) 02/12/21(Fri)08:43:04 No.28512703 >Covid hits, l'm moved to remote >bosses don't send me any work, start getting nervous thinking they will fire me due to how things are 146 KB JPG >work with anxiety all the time, thinking they have some tracking and if I don't work my ass off I'm f----- >slowly realize that they just don't give a s--- >become a degenerate that masturbates 2/3 of the workday to compensate previous stress >literally COOMING as I talk with my boss on teams >get to the point where l'm switching between the most degenerate hentai on earth and coding like some skrizo on Adderall and Viagra , trusty onahole at my side at all times. >realize that i am more productive than when I was trying to work hard I have ascended. I am the COOMpiler now. What a f------ time to be alive >>28513780 #
: Anonymous (ID: IJNhf8Af ) 02/12/21(Fri)08:43:04 No.28512703 >Covid hits, l'm moved to remote >bosses don't send me any work, start getting nervous thinking they will fire me due to how things are 146 KB JPG >work with anxiety all the time, thinking they have some tracking and if I don't work my ass off I'm f----- >slowly realize that they just don't give a s--- >become a degenerate that masturbates 2/3 of the workday to compensate previous stress >literally COOMING as I talk with my boss on teams >get to the point where l'm switching between the most degenerate hentai on earth and coding like some skrizo on Adderall and Viagra , trusty onahole at my side at all times. >realize that i am more productive than when I was trying to work hard I have ascended. I am the COOMpiler now. What a f------ time to be alive >>28513780 #

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