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Anon is an engineer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: OYXJ87VO 02/12/21(Fri)16:16:47 No.28479931 Peg mecents alos you to aqust ratius for dirterent sizer Idea_2.png 122 KB PNG Fellas, I have a business idea. It's essentially a cycling machine that jerks you off with a fleshlight while you're pedaling. I recognize that a lot of neets are lazy fat f---- that don't go outside the house so this invention intends to make those very neets healthy by employing a method of exercise that will work for them. I believe that by incentivizing the coomer to exercise thru m-----------, we can make healthier neets. Thoughts? Concerns? Questions
Anonymous (ID: OYXJ87VO 02/12/21(Fri)16:16:47 No.28479931 Peg mecents alos you to aqust ratius for dirterent sizer Idea_2.png 122 KB PNG Fellas, I have a business idea. It's essentially a cycling machine that jerks you off with a fleshlight while you're pedaling. I recognize that a lot of neets are lazy fat f---- that don't go outside the house so this invention intends to make those very neets healthy by employing a method of exercise that will work for them. I believe that by incentivizing the coomer to exercise thru m-----------, we can make healthier neets. Thoughts? Concerns? Questions

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Anon gets groomed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)23:55:37 No.62330717 >be me >build ships in minecraft >want to build a certain ship, dont have plans for it >theres that dutch guy who has a lot of plans, and since the ship is dutch he might have it 644 KB PNG >ask for plans >tells me i have to send him a p--- pic for every pic he sends me >do that >some time later, i want another plan >same thing >every time i want something from him i have to send more and more p--- >now he wants me to send him nudes of myself
: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)23:55:37 No.62330717 >be me >build ships in minecraft >want to build a certain ship, dont have plans for it >theres that dutch guy who has a lot of plans, and since the ship is dutch he might have it 644 KB PNG >ask for plans >tells me i have to send him a p--- pic for every pic he sends me >do that >some time later, i want another plan >same thing >every time i want something from him i have to send more and more p--- >now he wants me to send him nudes of myself

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Anon cant take it anymore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)23:34:27 No.146410665 >MY LIFE IS PEACEFUL AND I HAVE NO PHYSICAL THREATS AND PLENTY OF FOOD 97 KB JPG AAAAAAAAAAАННННННННННННННННННННН ННННННННННННННННН >l'M LITERALLY GOING INSANE : Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)23:36:56 No.146410766 >NOO0000000000000O I HAVE TO WORK IN AN AIR CONDITIONED OFFICE ALL DAY INSTEAD OF DOING HARD MANUAL LABOR FOR 12 HOURS AAAAAAAAААННННННН HELP ME
: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)23:34:27 No.146410665 >MY LIFE IS PEACEFUL AND I HAVE NO PHYSICAL THREATS AND PLENTY OF FOOD 97 KB JPG AAAAAAAAAAАННННННННННННННННННННН ННННННННННННННННН >l'M LITERALLY GOING INSANE : Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)23:36:56 No.146410766 >NOO0000000000000O I HAVE TO WORK IN AN AIR CONDITIONED OFFICE ALL DAY INSTEAD OF DOING HARD MANUAL LABOR FOR 12 HOURS AAAAAAAAААННННННН HELP ME

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Anon is normal | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.643300058 1 minute ago >Be me >Best friend andI move into a house together >Neither of us have GFs >F--- each other because it's better than masturbating >Decide to get married for tax benefits >Adopt a kid to be our little bro >One day while we f--- our balls touch >He doesnt stop and say "no h---" Am I married to a f-----? How do I tell our son? ...
Anonymous No.643300058 1 minute ago >Be me >Best friend andI move into a house together >Neither of us have GFs >F--- each other because it's better than masturbating >Decide to get married for tax benefits >Adopt a kid to be our little bro >One day while we f--- our balls touch >He doesnt stop and say "no h---" Am I married to a f-----? How do I tell our son? ...

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Wholesome anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/18(Sat)03:07:57 No.764293421 >be me >neet loser >hate myself >not good at anything >it's pizza friday >my mom makes the pizza dough, and i make the rest of it 69 KB JPG >mom usually doesn't have pizza >eat my pizza upstairs in my room >tasty.png >go downstairs for more >my mom calls me into her room >"hey anon, i ate some of you pizza, hope you don't mind >whatever.avi >"you make really good pizzas anon. they're the best i've ever tasted" >mom makes my bro try some of the pizza >he loves it aswell >mfw i'm actually OK at something Love you mom.
: Anonymous 03/31/18(Sat)03:07:57 No.764293421 >be me >neet loser >hate myself >not good at anything >it's pizza friday >my mom makes the pizza dough, and i make the rest of it 69 KB JPG >mom usually doesn't have pizza >eat my pizza upstairs in my room >tasty.png >go downstairs for more >my mom calls me into her room >"hey anon, i ate some of you pizza, hope you don't mind >whatever.avi >"you make really good pizzas anon. they're the best i've ever tasted" >mom makes my bro try some of the pizza >he loves it aswell >mfw i'm actually OK at something Love you mom.

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Anon misses his childhood fren | /r/Greentext

>be me, 9 >enroll into catholic school >guy named Dave sold basic stationary items at school gates >great guy, always had a good attitude and fair prices >literally buy all equipment I need from the man for my entire school stay (10 years or so) >ffw 11 years >learn that Dave's store got demolished recently >city is building huge parking lot next to school >mfw I realized they ruined his livelihood Seriously considering setting up a fundraiser for the man. He was a genuine person. He was like one of us.
>be me, 9 >enroll into catholic school >guy named Dave sold basic stationary items at school gates >great guy, always had a good attitude and fair prices >literally buy all equipment I need from the man for my entire school stay (10 years or so) >ffw 11 years >learn that Dave's store got demolished recently >city is building huge parking lot next to school >mfw I realized they ruined his livelihood Seriously considering setting up a fundraiser for the man. He was a genuine person. He was like one of us.

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Easy like a Sunday morning | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)15:36:46 No.847384614 >l just had a great s---. >Didn't have a terrible urge to go, no need to fight it while making my way to the bathroom, nothing. >Just walked there, sat down and s--- was done. 239 KB PNG >No struggle, no horrid smell, no dhiarrea, no splashing. >Cleaning up was great too, no blood, no pain, just smooth and easy. This genuinely made my day better. 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)15:36:46 No.847384614 >l just had a great s---. >Didn't have a terrible urge to go, no need to fight it while making my way to the bathroom, nothing. >Just walked there, sat down and s--- was done. 239 KB PNG >No struggle, no horrid smell, no dhiarrea, no splashing. >Cleaning up was great too, no blood, no pain, just smooth and easy. This genuinely made my day better. 3 Replies View Thread

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Anon asks why his spaghetti-Os keep making lightning | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:11:29 No.655138144 [Reply] >>655139488 Ask a psychology major anything. + 27 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:24:54 No.655139483 >> Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:24:57 No.655139486 O Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:24:57 No.655139488 File: IMG 20151202_120721155.jpg (2.1 MB, 4320x2432) >>655138144 (OP) Why do my spaghetti-Os keep making lightning?
Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:11:29 No.655138144 [Reply] >>655139488 Ask a psychology major anything. + 27 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:24:54 No.655139483 >> Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:24:57 No.655139486 O Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)17:24:57 No.655139488 File: IMG 20151202_120721155.jpg (2.1 MB, 4320x2432) >>655138144 (OP) Why do my spaghetti-Os keep making lightning?

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Anon explains art | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)10:02:21 No.544293692 >be s--- at drawing >can't make money >decide then to just spend a bit more time by making a 6 frame animation >plebbitors and retards eat it up because ITS ANIMATED so automatically is more impressive than any static art to them >earn shitton from patreon If i wasn't so lazy i would become a p--- artist.
: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)10:02:21 No.544293692 >be s--- at drawing >can't make money >decide then to just spend a bit more time by making a 6 frame animation >plebbitors and retards eat it up because ITS ANIMATED so automatically is more impressive than any static art to them >earn shitton from patreon If i wasn't so lazy i would become a p--- artist.

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Anon has flacid penis fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)09:02:54 No.46602339 >be me >have flacid penis fetish >look at d--- >get hard >wait to get soft >look at d--- 22 KB PNG >get hard mfw It never ends
: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)09:02:54 No.46602339 >be me >have flacid penis fetish >look at d--- >get hard >wait to get soft >look at d--- 22 KB PNG >get hard mfw It never ends

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Anon has a point | /r/Greentext

>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone
>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone

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Anon has a child | /r/Greentext

File: 3fb85ce1580af24d83f6bde17301e0fe85e(..).png (204 KB, 1063x1063) Parents of /r9k/ Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)11:30:47 No.48770954 [Reply] >>48771097 >>48771290 >>48771357 >>48772582 >>48772649 >be 19 yr old kv suicidal depressed neet >live with parents >unmarried sister gets preggers because of her bf and doesn't want the kid, but doesn't want to abort either >kid is born, beautiful boy >she abandons him at parents home to pursue her dead end ""acting career"" >parents, and i basically take care of him >love him like my own son, he calls me papa >son grows up fine, i get warehouse job to have more money to make him happier >start jogging in the morning to have enough stamina to play with him >son is great at academics, gets As >start getting along better with my own parents since we're taking care of my son together >work harder and get promoted, more money to buy son toys >experience first hand what raising a child is like, love him >now am 36 yrs old kv with a managerial job at a shipping company >son has gone to univ this year >parents and i are very lonely with nothing to do all day >wait for son's call in the back of our heads all the time >sister is still struggling with her ""acting career (son calls her auntie Imao) >son is coming home for christmas >can't decide what to do to celebrate his first year at college >almost know for certain that if son hadn't been born, i would've probably jumped off a building to end my pathetic life Any other parents here?
File: 3fb85ce1580af24d83f6bde17301e0fe85e(..).png (204 KB, 1063x1063) Parents of /r9k/ Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)11:30:47 No.48770954 [Reply] >>48771097 >>48771290 >>48771357 >>48772582 >>48772649 >be 19 yr old kv suicidal depressed neet >live with parents >unmarried sister gets preggers because of her bf and doesn't want the kid, but doesn't want to abort either >kid is born, beautiful boy >she abandons him at parents home to pursue her dead end ""acting career"" >parents, and i basically take care of him >love him like my own son, he calls me papa >son grows up fine, i get warehouse job to have more money to make him happier >start jogging in the morning to have enough stamina to play with him >son is great at academics, gets As >start getting along better with my own parents since we're taking care of my son together >work harder and get promoted, more money to buy son toys >experience first hand what raising a child is like, love him >now am 36 yrs old kv with a managerial job at a shipping company >son has gone to univ this year >parents and i are very lonely with nothing to do all day >wait for son's call in the back of our heads all the time >sister is still struggling with her ""acting career (son calls her auntie Imao) >son is coming home for christmas >can't decide what to do to celebrate his first year at college >almost know for certain that if son hadn't been born, i would've probably jumped off a building to end my pathetic life Any other parents here?

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Anon eats fruit loops | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)08:38:24 No.847363961 >in dinning room >eating fruit loops >girlfriend walks in >she waits til she is close to my face and lets out a huge thunderous fart right when i go to open my mouth to take a bite 40 KB JPG >stop eating because all i can think about is s--- particles on my fruit loops >dump bowl And i thought i was an a------, jfc!
: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)08:38:24 No.847363961 >in dinning room >eating fruit loops >girlfriend walks in >she waits til she is close to my face and lets out a huge thunderous fart right when i go to open my mouth to take a bite 40 KB JPG >stop eating because all i can think about is s--- particles on my fruit loops >dump bowl And i thought i was an a------, jfc!

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Anon is a master of his craft | /r/Greentext

File: weld.png (467 KB, 483x381) Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)20:18:47 No.62303437 ► Why haven't you taken the welding pill yet? >Be me >Take a community college class to learn how to weld >One of the highest workers in demand, drive my truck around to whoever needs me >The average welding job takes less than an hour, and I'm back in my truck to the next job >After half a decade in the field, I make $82,000 per year >Still can't weld together my relationship with my ex-wife Please, Rebecca, just respond to my texts. I've already welded together a machine that will release an anvil onto my head. It'll all be over soon
File: weld.png (467 KB, 483x381) Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)20:18:47 No.62303437 ► Why haven't you taken the welding pill yet? >Be me >Take a community college class to learn how to weld >One of the highest workers in demand, drive my truck around to whoever needs me >The average welding job takes less than an hour, and I'm back in my truck to the next job >After half a decade in the field, I make $82,000 per year >Still can't weld together my relationship with my ex-wife Please, Rebecca, just respond to my texts. I've already welded together a machine that will release an anvil onto my head. It'll all be over soon

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Anon walks into the wrong house fool! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)16:43:32 No.847370656 >be irish >post to \pol\ with flag visible >it says "stay mad" with smug pepe >get called potato n----- >laugh >scroll further 9 KB JPG >see my ip Wat do \b\?
: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)16:43:32 No.847370656 >be irish >post to \pol\ with flag visible >it says "stay mad" with smug pepe >get called potato n----- >laugh >scroll further 9 KB JPG >see my ip Wat do \b\?

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Anon is a pirate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/23/19(Wed)21:52:08 No.482626138 >pirate game 1 KB PNG >delete it and download it again 9 more times >company loses $600
: Anonymous 10/23/19(Wed)21:52:08 No.482626138 >pirate game 1 KB PNG >delete it and download it again 9 more times >company loses $600

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Anon goes to Gamestop | /r/Greentext

sad_dad.jpg) Anonymous 10/16/13(Wed)10:11 No.214090781 [Reply] >go to Gamestop >cute girl at counter >talk about video games for a while as I make my purchases >remember that she has poo inside her >feel disgusted and leave as quick as I can F------ Gamestop. 68 posts and 28 image replies omitted. Click here to view.
sad_dad.jpg) Anonymous 10/16/13(Wed)10:11 No.214090781 [Reply] >go to Gamestop >cute girl at counter >talk about video games for a while as I make my purchases >remember that she has poo inside her >feel disgusted and leave as quick as I can F------ Gamestop. 68 posts and 28 image replies omitted. Click here to view.

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Anon was born to be miserable | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)19:28:29 No.847369867 >be me >bday today >same day as valentines >no gf >mfw 67 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)19:32:33 No.847370097 >>847369867(OP)_# HAPPY BDAY!!!!!!!! BOY 1.78 MB GIF
: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)19:28:29 No.847369867 >be me >bday today >same day as valentines >no gf >mfw 67 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)19:32:33 No.847370097 >>847369867(OP)_# HAPPY BDAY!!!!!!!! BOY 1.78 MB GIF

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Anon makes PowerPoint | /r/Greentext

> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw
> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

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Anon is ripped off | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)21:56:22 No.795913984 >be me, on deathbed from terminal Oronge cancer 5-hou KENERGY >drink 5 hour energy REGULAR STRENGTH >die 2 hours later Vitamins Nutrients Cal Geie Sugar Free4 What the f---? 31 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)21:56:22 No.795913984 >be me, on deathbed from terminal Oronge cancer 5-hou KENERGY >drink 5 hour energy REGULAR STRENGTH >die 2 hours later Vitamins Nutrients Cal Geie Sugar Free4 What the f---? 31 KB JPG

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