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Anon buys new clothes and gets called a loser | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45243472 >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" 42,2 kB JPG >... >He's technically right >l am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 45243502 Nice keep going man
Anonymous | 45243472 >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" 42,2 kB JPG >... >He's technically right >l am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 45243502 Nice keep going man

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Anon likes 4chan | /r/Greentext

Today at 9:07 PM ik i went for a jogg it was nice whatr u doing for valentines day? Today at 9:19 PM uhhhhh hanging out on 4chan Imao i relate to them i guess >f--- f--- f--- >he doesn't like edgy egirls >how do i fix this he's ignoring me 7h (2/15 5:37) · 62334917 >>62334907 (OP) nothing but bad things can come from telling people you use 4channel
Today at 9:07 PM ik i went for a jogg it was nice whatr u doing for valentines day? Today at 9:19 PM uhhhhh hanging out on 4chan Imao i relate to them i guess >f--- f--- f--- >he doesn't like edgy egirls >how do i fix this he's ignoring me 7h (2/15 5:37) · 62334917 >>62334907 (OP) nothing but bad things can come from telling people you use 4channel

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No one wants to hear Anon's story | /r/Greentext

wonder >be me >find 4chan >want to post irl story >scroll through posts about c-- shorts >scroll by a g--------- >wonder if anyone will give a s--- about a lucid dream story
wonder >be me >find 4chan >want to post irl story >scroll through posts about c-- shorts >scroll by a g--------- >wonder if anyone will give a s--- about a lucid dream story

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Anon discusses Aragorn | /r/Greentext

63 Re · 13 Img JPG 42KB (540 × 540) 19 Replies >rusted, chipped p------------ sword, probably been rusting in the caverns for three decades >"this is a good sword" Was Aragorn the first autistic king?
63 Re · 13 Img JPG 42KB (540 × 540) 19 Replies >rusted, chipped p------------ sword, probably been rusting in the caverns for three decades >"this is a good sword" Was Aragorn the first autistic king?

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Anon wants a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/21 (Mon)04:18:04 No.847437816 >be me ap Discover something new Sporeored >zerkin off >reading some hentai >see the 2 characters hug eachother >"damn" 77 KB JPG >"...damn.." >think about hugging someone >really want hug someone >think about how nice it would feel >havent hugged someone legitimately in like 8 years I wish i had a girlfriend
: Anonymous 02/15/21 (Mon)04:18:04 No.847437816 >be me ap Discover something new Sporeored >zerkin off >reading some hentai >see the 2 characters hug eachother >"damn" 77 KB JPG >"...damn.." >think about hugging someone >really want hug someone >think about how nice it would feel >havent hugged someone legitimately in like 8 years I wish i had a girlfriend

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Anon has a bad Valentine's day | /r/Greentext

>bf met up with me just to dump me, on Valentine's day >after I spent three hours making chocolates for him >just gave him them and cried at home 2h (2/15 10:29) · 62337988 I almost felt sorry for but then I remembered that you're not actually a cute anime girl 2h (2/15 10:32) · 62338012 >>62337970 (OP) Why did you give him the chocolate? Should have just poured it all over him or give it to me
>bf met up with me just to dump me, on Valentine's day >after I spent three hours making chocolates for him >just gave him them and cried at home 2h (2/15 10:29) · 62337988 I almost felt sorry for but then I remembered that you're not actually a cute anime girl 2h (2/15 10:32) · 62338012 >>62337970 (OP) Why did you give him the chocolate? Should have just poured it all over him or give it to me

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Anon has a police women fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)12:05:27 No.847435416 DSC_049.png 603 KB PNG >told this girl i had a fetish for police woman >i am black >she sent me this with the caption >"POV i am standing on your neck"
: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)12:05:27 No.847435416 DSC_049.png 603 KB PNG >told this girl i had a fetish for police woman >i am black >she sent me this with the caption >"POV i am standing on your neck"

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Anon builds a paper towel rocket | /r/Greentext

File: nostalgic pepe.jpg (18 KB, 500x300) O Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)01:10:49 No.847420228 >be me >be in science class 8th grade >teacher has a paper towel building competition >me and friends work together to build tower >only 2 designs worked so far, another group and my group >everyone in class copies other group >my group realizes that our tower looks like rocket >we write space x on the side and long live elon musk >teacher says it is time to clean up >we give it a proper space x launch and throw it on the floor >wish i could be happy like i was then
File: nostalgic pepe.jpg (18 KB, 500x300) O Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)01:10:49 No.847420228 >be me >be in science class 8th grade >teacher has a paper towel building competition >me and friends work together to build tower >only 2 designs worked so far, another group and my group >everyone in class copies other group >my group realizes that our tower looks like rocket >we write space x on the side and long live elon musk >teacher says it is time to clean up >we give it a proper space x launch and throw it on the floor >wish i could be happy like i was then

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Anon solved the problem | /r/Greentext

Share the most retarded thing you've ever done. I'll go first. >be me 138 KB PNG >23 days ago >driving drunk as f---, run a red light, ram into a f------ cop car at 20 mph >cars are not too damaged >drunk mind is scared as s--- >unable to think of a reason, stab myself with my pocket knife before the cop comes over >hide knife in glove box >say, "I had been stabbed officer" >cop gives me a ride to the nearest hospital mfw crisis avoided
Share the most retarded thing you've ever done. I'll go first. >be me 138 KB PNG >23 days ago >driving drunk as f---, run a red light, ram into a f------ cop car at 20 mph >cars are not too damaged >drunk mind is scared as s--- >unable to think of a reason, stab myself with my pocket knife before the cop comes over >hide knife in glove box >say, "I had been stabbed officer" >cop gives me a ride to the nearest hospital mfw crisis avoided

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Windows crashes for Anon | /r/Greentext

>be me >windows crashes >browser session with 500 tabs didn't open up >realize that by opening the browser i just deleted last session >run recovery software >the session was overwritten by windows defender even though it's turned off by group policy
>be me >windows crashes >browser session with 500 tabs didn't open up >realize that by opening the browser i just deleted last session >run recovery software >the session was overwritten by windows defender even though it's turned off by group policy

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Anon wants you to move to Tennessee real bad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (r7080M/) = You are NOT welcome in Tenness(...) 02/14/21(Sun)18:11:45 No.308125779 Jennessee 1606368708681.jpg 770 KB JPG F--- off, we're full. Stop coming here. You are not welcome here. Your family is not welcome here. Your friends are not welcome here. No, I don't want to hear how you vote red and like conservatism. I don't care that you find it inexpensive to live here. I don't care that you like not having to deal with snow or road salt eating your car. I don't care how you are looking forward to not paying state income tax. F--- you. Every single one of you f---- is a lukewarm cuckservative or lolbertarian who will act against the interests of native Tennesseans every chance you get and you will drive up the housing prices 10% yearly without fail. And every single one of you will bitch about the humidity every chance you get. So l'll say it again: f--- off, we're full. You wouldn't like it here anyway. Wages are low, as in all flyovers. There is nothing here, and absolutely nothing ever happens here. So keep this in mind when deciding on a state to move to to pollute with your filth: F--- OFF, we're FULL. 23 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: (r7080M/) = You are NOT welcome in Tenness(...) 02/14/21(Sun)18:11:45 No.308125779 Jennessee 1606368708681.jpg 770 KB JPG F--- off, we're full. Stop coming here. You are not welcome here. Your family is not welcome here. Your friends are not welcome here. No, I don't want to hear how you vote red and like conservatism. I don't care that you find it inexpensive to live here. I don't care that you like not having to deal with snow or road salt eating your car. I don't care how you are looking forward to not paying state income tax. F--- you. Every single one of you f---- is a lukewarm cuckservative or lolbertarian who will act against the interests of native Tennesseans every chance you get and you will drive up the housing prices 10% yearly without fail. And every single one of you will bitch about the humidity every chance you get. So l'll say it again: f--- off, we're full. You wouldn't like it here anyway. Wages are low, as in all flyovers. There is nothing here, and absolutely nothing ever happens here. So keep this in mind when deciding on a state to move to to pollute with your filth: F--- OFF, we're FULL. 23 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is a NEET | /r/Greentext

File: naughtyneet.jpg (216 KB, 819x912) /b/ Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)18:49:19 No.847377955 [Reply] >be me >be 26 >be NEET >wake up at 7pm >mummy has made dinner >it's vegetables >i hate vegetables >refuse to eat it >"well, you're going to go without dinner tonight, anon" >she thinks she's won >go back to my room >hold myself over for a few hours on mountain dew >wait till mummy is asleep >start screaming "I WANT FOOD I WANT FOOD" as loud as I can >mummy wakes up and stumbles to my door >"anon what are you doing?!? It's midnight!" >walk up real close to my door and stop screaming >"anon, are you ok?" >mummy opens the door >me standing right there >scream "I WANT FOOD!" two inches from her face >she falls backwards into the hall >keep screaming "I WANT FOOD" as I head to the kitchen >start taking food items from the fridge and throw them all over floor >throw gallon of milk onto the ground and it explodes >mummy is pleading with me to stop >"ONLY IF YOU GET ME TENDIES AND TACOS!" >"GET ME TACOS AND TENDIES NOW. I WANT THEM NOW!" >mummy crying >"Why do you do this, anon?!? WHY?!" >mfw I see her getting her car keys >mfw she comes home with hot, greasy tacos and a double serving of Jack in the Box tendies >mfw she'll never get rid of her little boy!
File: naughtyneet.jpg (216 KB, 819x912) /b/ Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)18:49:19 No.847377955 [Reply] >be me >be 26 >be NEET >wake up at 7pm >mummy has made dinner >it's vegetables >i hate vegetables >refuse to eat it >"well, you're going to go without dinner tonight, anon" >she thinks she's won >go back to my room >hold myself over for a few hours on mountain dew >wait till mummy is asleep >start screaming "I WANT FOOD I WANT FOOD" as loud as I can >mummy wakes up and stumbles to my door >"anon what are you doing?!? It's midnight!" >walk up real close to my door and stop screaming >"anon, are you ok?" >mummy opens the door >me standing right there >scream "I WANT FOOD!" two inches from her face >she falls backwards into the hall >keep screaming "I WANT FOOD" as I head to the kitchen >start taking food items from the fridge and throw them all over floor >throw gallon of milk onto the ground and it explodes >mummy is pleading with me to stop >"ONLY IF YOU GET ME TENDIES AND TACOS!" >"GET ME TACOS AND TENDIES NOW. I WANT THEM NOW!" >mummy crying >"Why do you do this, anon?!? WHY?!" >mfw I see her getting her car keys >mfw she comes home with hot, greasy tacos and a double serving of Jack in the Box tendies >mfw she'll never get rid of her little boy!

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Anon gets a massage | /r/Greentext

welcome asian massage O Valentine's Day story Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)02:52:20 No.62337106 >>623 >be me, 22 year old beta fat f---, just barely graduated from local uni, virgin >maybe a total of 10 tinder matches through all of university, went nowhere >started going to the gym, trying to make myself look better >sore as f---, see a massage place on my way back from work >"f--- it why not" >go inside, chinese receptionist in her 30s, massive t---, broken english >"welcome asian massage, what you want?" >shows no menu or anything >"uhhh, a normal massage is fine" >asks for 40 bucks for a 30 minutes >leads me to a po0orly lit room with a small table bed >"ok take clothes off" and leaves the room >i get naked and lie on the table, it squeaks >she comes back in, covers my ass with a towel, does the massage >after flipping and finishing the front, she starts rubbing my crotch >w-- >is this going where i think it's going? >thought the massage parlor s--- was myth >she sees i'm enjoying it >"hand is 30, kiss is 55, full is 100" >"full?" >"you know, fucky fucky" >almost burst out laughing >get my wallet, hand her 100 >she strips, we start f------ >i'm hard as f---, but haven't c-- yet >mfw it's been almost 10 mins, yet when i j------- i c-- in under a min >finally c--, she cleans me up, we dress, tells me her name, and I leave home satisfied got laid on valentines and no longer an incel, what did you do?
welcome asian massage O Valentine's Day story Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)02:52:20 No.62337106 >>623 >be me, 22 year old beta fat f---, just barely graduated from local uni, virgin >maybe a total of 10 tinder matches through all of university, went nowhere >started going to the gym, trying to make myself look better >sore as f---, see a massage place on my way back from work >"f--- it why not" >go inside, chinese receptionist in her 30s, massive t---, broken english >"welcome asian massage, what you want?" >shows no menu or anything >"uhhh, a normal massage is fine" >asks for 40 bucks for a 30 minutes >leads me to a po0orly lit room with a small table bed >"ok take clothes off" and leaves the room >i get naked and lie on the table, it squeaks >she comes back in, covers my ass with a towel, does the massage >after flipping and finishing the front, she starts rubbing my crotch >w-- >is this going where i think it's going? >thought the massage parlor s--- was myth >she sees i'm enjoying it >"hand is 30, kiss is 55, full is 100" >"full?" >"you know, fucky fucky" >almost burst out laughing >get my wallet, hand her 100 >she strips, we start f------ >i'm hard as f---, but haven't c-- yet >mfw it's been almost 10 mins, yet when i j------- i c-- in under a min >finally c--, she cleans me up, we dress, tells me her name, and I leave home satisfied got laid on valentines and no longer an incel, what did you do?

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Anon passes university | /r/Greentext

alright so something great happened to me today. I'll put it in the form of a greentext for you retards out here. >be me in early 2020 >grades in school go up after going to a library in a university after years of being a retard in school and fighting depression. >feelsgoodman.jpeg >covid happens and all non essential businesses close to the public >library at uni closes >online school and no library make my grades go back down >all my hopes from when i had good grades are gone. >thebigsad.mp3 >fast forward to today >grades still s--- >decide to go to the university to since it's nearby from an errand i had to take care of >library is open >could this be? will I not fail my school year? thank god i finally have a place to study in peace and alone
alright so something great happened to me today. I'll put it in the form of a greentext for you retards out here. >be me in early 2020 >grades in school go up after going to a library in a university after years of being a retard in school and fighting depression. >feelsgoodman.jpeg >covid happens and all non essential businesses close to the public >library at uni closes >online school and no library make my grades go back down >all my hopes from when i had good grades are gone. >thebigsad.mp3 >fast forward to today >grades still s--- >decide to go to the university to since it's nearby from an errand i had to take care of >library is open >could this be? will I not fail my school year? thank god i finally have a place to study in peace and alone

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Anon gets neck from a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)18:37:59 No.847377272 >>847377437 >>847377443 >>84737 >be me >on date with girl >valentine day's lunch date >we flirt and make jokes about roleplaying in bed >get home >she texts me >"imagine i am wearing a police uniform" >"POV me standing on your neck" >mfw i am black >pic related >wat do? >> Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)18:40:37 No.847377437 >>847377272 (OP) Probably steal something and get kfc while high on crack Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)18:40:43 No.847377443 >>847377272 (OP) n----- Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)18:41:59 No.847377521 >>847377272 (OP) Hit her with the dindu nuffin and if she laughs, you f---. File: bsc_049.png (603 KB, 763x576)
Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)18:37:59 No.847377272 >>847377437 >>847377443 >>84737 >be me >on date with girl >valentine day's lunch date >we flirt and make jokes about roleplaying in bed >get home >she texts me >"imagine i am wearing a police uniform" >"POV me standing on your neck" >mfw i am black >pic related >wat do? >> Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)18:40:37 No.847377437 >>847377272 (OP) Probably steal something and get kfc while high on crack Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)18:40:43 No.847377443 >>847377272 (OP) n----- Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)18:41:59 No.847377521 >>847377272 (OP) Hit her with the dindu nuffin and if she laughs, you f---. File: bsc_049.png (603 KB, 763x576)

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anon is a victim | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)10:12:06 No.847430980 >>847431082 >be me >sell cabbage >life good O Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)10:14:05 No.847431082 >>847430980 (OP). >be me >in a fight with an angry fire wizard >Accidentally crash into your cabbage stand O Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)10:16:22 No.847431187 File: 1606778969267.png (232 KB, 500x500) F------ scumbags always wrecking my cart! >ffw no small claims court in Omashu
O Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)10:12:06 No.847430980 >>847431082 >be me >sell cabbage >life good O Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)10:14:05 No.847431082 >>847430980 (OP). >be me >in a fight with an angry fire wizard >Accidentally crash into your cabbage stand O Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)10:16:22 No.847431187 File: 1606778969267.png (232 KB, 500x500) F------ scumbags always wrecking my cart! >ffw no small claims court in Omashu

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Just another day at r9k | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)01:44:08 No.62336423 >got drunk with a girl >tried to put my arm around her >she moves away I thought you guys said this would work. 100 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)01:45:08 No.62336439 >>62336423 (OP) # You know you still have to be good looking right?
: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)01:44:08 No.62336423 >got drunk with a girl >tried to put my arm around her >she moves away I thought you guys said this would work. 100 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)01:45:08 No.62336439 >>62336423 (OP) # You know you still have to be good looking right?

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grug need berry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)11:17:05 No.847369222 20210214 111219.jpg 72 KB JPG grug sad >grug ride donkey for chieftain >grug bring wheelbarrow parts to other villages >work hard, but chieftain give many berry and sometimes meat >grug ride donkey to oceanside village >dumb grugette from brown tribe not know how to ride fancy white horse >grug hit horse with donkey because donkey is old and not always listen to grug >horse is okay, and donkey get better soon >chieftain still mad >chieftain no give grug berry and say grug no ride donkey grug want to commit rock
: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)11:17:05 No.847369222 20210214 111219.jpg 72 KB JPG grug sad >grug ride donkey for chieftain >grug bring wheelbarrow parts to other villages >work hard, but chieftain give many berry and sometimes meat >grug ride donkey to oceanside village >dumb grugette from brown tribe not know how to ride fancy white horse >grug hit horse with donkey because donkey is old and not always listen to grug >horse is okay, and donkey get better soon >chieftain still mad >chieftain no give grug berry and say grug no ride donkey grug want to commit rock

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Anon makes money | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)23:46:45 No.847418482 'I thought I could lick it off": Man who superglued a SOLO CUP to his face for idiotic 'Gorilla Glue challenge' ends up in the ER - after accusing mom who got adhesive stuck in her hair of lying >see woman that glued her hair got $20,000 through GoFundMe By Carly Stern For Dalymail.com 18:10 11 Feb 2021. updated 21:00 12 Feb 2ne1 >Similar idea >Glue lips >wait 739 KB JPG >profit
: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)23:46:45 No.847418482 'I thought I could lick it off": Man who superglued a SOLO CUP to his face for idiotic 'Gorilla Glue challenge' ends up in the ER - after accusing mom who got adhesive stuck in her hair of lying >see woman that glued her hair got $20,000 through GoFundMe By Carly Stern For Dalymail.com 18:10 11 Feb 2021. updated 21:00 12 Feb 2ne1 >Similar idea >Glue lips >wait 739 KB JPG >profit

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The ancient texts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/19/12(Tue)00:38 No.10311088 man & girl go out to drive under moonlight. they stop at on at a side of road. he turn to his girl and say: "baby, i love you very much" "what is it honey?" "our car is broken down. i think the engine is broken. ill walk and get some more fuel." "ok. ill stay here and look after our stereo. there have been news report of steres being stolen" "good idea. keep the doors locked no matter what. i love you sweaty" so the guy left to get full for the car. after two hours the girl say "where is my baby, he was supposed to be back by now". then the girl here a scratching sound and voice say "LET ME IN" the girl doesnt do it and then after a while she goes to sleep. the next morning she wakes up and finds her boyfriend still not there. she gets out to check and man door hand hook car door
Anonymous 06/19/12(Tue)00:38 No.10311088 man & girl go out to drive under moonlight. they stop at on at a side of road. he turn to his girl and say: "baby, i love you very much" "what is it honey?" "our car is broken down. i think the engine is broken. ill walk and get some more fuel." "ok. ill stay here and look after our stereo. there have been news report of steres being stolen" "good idea. keep the doors locked no matter what. i love you sweaty" so the guy left to get full for the car. after two hours the girl say "where is my baby, he was supposed to be back by now". then the girl here a scratching sound and voice say "LET ME IN" the girl doesnt do it and then after a while she goes to sleep. the next morning she wakes up and finds her boyfriend still not there. she gets out to check and man door hand hook car door

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