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Anon is a welder | /r/Greentext

Why haven't you taken the welding pill yet? >Be me >Take a community college class to learn how to weld >One of the highest workers in demand, drive my truck around to 467 KB PNG whoever needs me >The average welding job takes less than an hour, and I'm back in my truck to the next job >After half a decade in the field, I make $82,000 per year >Still can't weld together my relationship with my ex-wife Please, Rebecca, just respond to my texts. I've already welded together a machine that will release an anvil onto my head. It'll all be over soon

Why haven't you taken the welding pill yet? >Be me >Take a community college class to learn how to weld >One of the highest workers in demand, drive my truck around to 467 KB PNG whoever needs me >The average welding job takes less than an hour, and I'm back in my truck to the next job >After half a decade in the field, I make $82,000 per year >Still can't weld together my relationship with my ex-wife Please, Rebecca, just respond to my texts. I've already welded together a machine that will release an anvil onto my head. It'll all be over soon

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Anon makes friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)19:23:29 No.847618689 >be me, 20 >hope to make new friends >start college >everything is online because corona >cant do anything >develop a drinking problem 558 KB JPG >the bottles are my friends now >have friends for the first time in my life >mfw

: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)19:23:29 No.847618689 >be me, 20 >hope to make new friends >start college >everything is online because corona >cant do anything >develop a drinking problem 558 KB JPG >the bottles are my friends now >have friends for the first time in my life >mfw

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Anon is worried about being detected | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/26/14(Sun)17:58:03 No.44879498 ► >44880028 >>44880791 >>44874744 I too worry about my mouse being detected by radar len

Anonymous 10/26/14(Sun)17:58:03 No.44879498 ► >44880028 >>44880791 >>44874744 I too worry about my mouse being detected by radar len

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Anon talks about a racist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)10:53:20 No.789251811 >be me >over the border racist >sleep with underage niece >hate the British for humiliating my country's people >cool mustache >spend a lot of time outside of said county 10 KB JPG >can give firebomb public speeches >write a book about how my people are oppressed >people favor me >rise to power >consider WW2 as the opening of opportunities >be Gandhi >pic unrelated 4 Replies View Thread

: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)10:53:20 No.789251811 >be me >over the border racist >sleep with underage niece >hate the British for humiliating my country's people >cool mustache >spend a lot of time outside of said county 10 KB JPG >can give firebomb public speeches >write a book about how my people are oppressed >people favor me >rise to power >consider WW2 as the opening of opportunities >be Gandhi >pic unrelated 4 Replies View Thread

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How to get mired at the gym | /r/Greentext

1474302898998.gif (539 KB, 568x320) iqdb google exhentai I Anonymous 10/11/16(Tue)19:00:49 No.39046333 [v] How do you know if you're getting mirred or stared a because you look retarded? [-] Anonymous 10/11/16(Tue)21:34:59 No.39047860 [v] >>39047921 >>39055837 1465357296626.png (302 KB, 640x427) iqdb google exhentai >>39046333 (OP) I just wear really obnoxious/autistic clothing and assume that people are miring me. I never talk to them or acknowledge them in any way for 2 reasons: 1) they won't think I'm autistic for misinterpreting their horrified stare 2) they don't get the opportunity to shatter my palace of illusions I have this really ridiculous looking tank top that just has a giant monkey face print on it and people always feel like the eyes are staring at them, in a transfixing kind of way, so l assume they're mirin me and continue my business [-1 Anonymous 10/11/16(Tue)21:40:31 No.39047921 [v] >>39048120 >>39047860 Posts pic of Monkey [-] Anonymous 10/11/16(Tue)22:00:53 No.39048120 [v] >>39048134 >>39048162 >>39048169 >>39048192 >>39048197 >>39048242 >>39048271 >>39050901 >>39052907 >>39053515 >>39053772 >>39053870 >>39053895 >>39053962 >>39054026 >>39054172 >>39054192 >>39054269 >>39054660 >>39055255 >>39055790 >>39055802 >>39055872 >>39056424 >>39056455 >>39056552 >>39056734 >>39057214 >>39057420 >>39058185 >>39058546 >>39058678 >>39058689 IMG 20160405_224715[11.jpg (1.02 MB, 2305x2305) iqdb google exhentai >>39047921 [-1 Anonymous 10/11/16(Tue)22:02:28 No.39048134 [v] >>39048195 >>39048120 LMAO

1474302898998.gif (539 KB, 568x320) iqdb google exhentai I Anonymous 10/11/16(Tue)19:00:49 No.39046333 [v] How do you know if you're getting mirred or stared a because you look retarded? [-] Anonymous 10/11/16(Tue)21:34:59 No.39047860 [v] >>39047921 >>39055837 1465357296626.png (302 KB, 640x427) iqdb google exhentai >>39046333 (OP) I just wear really obnoxious/autistic clothing and assume that people are miring me. I never talk to them or acknowledge them in any way for 2 reasons: 1) they won't think I'm autistic for misinterpreting their horrified stare 2) they don't get the opportunity to shatter my palace of illusions I have this really ridiculous looking tank top that just has a giant monkey face print on it and people always feel like the eyes are staring at them, in a transfixing kind of way, so l assume they're mirin me and continue my business [-1 Anonymous 10/11/16(Tue)21:40:31 No.39047921 [v] >>39048120 >>39047860 Posts pic of Monkey [-] Anonymous 10/11/16(Tue)22:00:53 No.39048120 [v] >>39048134 >>39048162 >>39048169 >>39048192 >>39048197 >>39048242 >>39048271 >>39050901 >>39052907 >>39053515 >>39053772 >>39053870 >>39053895 >>39053962 >>39054026 >>39054172 >>39054192 >>39054269 >>39054660 >>39055255 >>39055790 >>39055802 >>39055872 >>39056424 >>39056455 >>39056552 >>39056734 >>39057214 >>39057420 >>39058185 >>39058546 >>39058678 >>39058689 IMG 20160405_224715[11.jpg (1.02 MB, 2305x2305) iqdb google exhentai >>39047921 [-1 Anonymous 10/11/16(Tue)22:02:28 No.39048134 [v] >>39048195 >>39048120 LMAO

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Anon solves a problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)19:54:40 No.847620553 >be me >6 year old autist >just started school >one day animal rights activists talk to us about street dogs in our town >our town has a major street dog problem 296 KB PNG >they ask if anyone has any ideas on how to solve the problem >think of a logical solution >only i raise my hand >"theres too many of them we have to kill them" >they look at me like i murdered their family, a few kids laugh >they talk about adopting dogs for hours >15 years later our city got into a scandal for killing street dogs as an only way to get rid of them after they killed a few citizens >mfw i solved the problem at 6

: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)19:54:40 No.847620553 >be me >6 year old autist >just started school >one day animal rights activists talk to us about street dogs in our town >our town has a major street dog problem 296 KB PNG >they ask if anyone has any ideas on how to solve the problem >think of a logical solution >only i raise my hand >"theres too many of them we have to kill them" >they look at me like i murdered their family, a few kids laugh >they talk about adopting dogs for hours >15 years later our city got into a scandal for killing street dogs as an only way to get rid of them after they killed a few citizens >mfw i solved the problem at 6

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anon owns the libs | /r/Greentext

File: flat,550x550,075,f.u5.jpg (29 KB, 550x386) O Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)11:49:03 No.847613098 > be me 2 years ago > 18 years old > first year of college > roommate pete is a leftist retard > "hey anon can we talk about marxist theory?" > w--.jpg > decide to listen to his b------- out of boredom > hes really invested in it > idea.exe > "hey this s--- sounds great" > start going to socialist meetings/conventions with pete > become well known in the local leftist community > start printing shirts with various socialist/communist logos and s--- > pete helps me set up my online store > college politics clubs shill my products for me > branch out to t----- rights and social justice branding as well| > fast forward a year > mfw rich as f--- because retards want muh hammer sickle shirt > mfw capitalism

File: flat,550x550,075,f.u5.jpg (29 KB, 550x386) O Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)11:49:03 No.847613098 > be me 2 years ago > 18 years old > first year of college > roommate pete is a leftist retard > "hey anon can we talk about marxist theory?" > w--.jpg > decide to listen to his b------- out of boredom > hes really invested in it > idea.exe > "hey this s--- sounds great" > start going to socialist meetings/conventions with pete > become well known in the local leftist community > start printing shirts with various socialist/communist logos and s--- > pete helps me set up my online store > college politics clubs shill my products for me > branch out to t----- rights and social justice branding as well| > fast forward a year > mfw rich as f--- because retards want muh hammer sickle shirt > mfw capitalism

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Anon questions his knowledge about Texans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ZBEAQTIJ ) E 02/16/21(Tue)19:29:23 No.308442622 The Guardian >mild winter News Opialon Sport Calture Libestyle >die Were we wrong about Texasbros US weather Millions without power and 15 dead as ferocious winter weather sweeps US this whole time? Before this I 284 KB PNG thought they were based 40 Replies / 11 Images View Thread

: Anonymous (ID: ZBEAQTIJ ) E 02/16/21(Tue)19:29:23 No.308442622 The Guardian >mild winter News Opialon Sport Calture Libestyle >die Were we wrong about Texasbros US weather Millions without power and 15 dead as ferocious winter weather sweeps US this whole time? Before this I 284 KB PNG thought they were based 40 Replies / 11 Images View Thread

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Anon is psychic | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [D Auto] File: scaredpepe.jpg (149 KB, 1500x1500) O Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)15:57:10 No.847545859 >Be me >Roll out of bed and head to the whiz palace >Think about spiders >Open door to bathroom >Giant ass spider sitting there starts rushing towards me [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [DAuto]

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [D Auto] File: scaredpepe.jpg (149 KB, 1500x1500) O Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)15:57:10 No.847545859 >Be me >Roll out of bed and head to the whiz palace >Think about spiders >Open door to bathroom >Giant ass spider sitting there starts rushing towards me [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [DAuto]

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Anon wonders what could go wrong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)23:42:49 No.847472711 1593537935431.png 32 KB PNG Good day anons, I really hope nothing happens to my cool towers.

: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)23:42:49 No.847472711 1593537935431.png 32 KB PNG Good day anons, I really hope nothing happens to my cool towers.

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Those balls can bounce | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)22:38:52 No.847576597 DANG >be me >be in 2nd grade >have hyperactive imagination >pretend to throw a bouncy ball and watch it bounce all around the classroom THAT BUSSY CAN SQUIRT and land back in my hand 388 KB JPG >pretend to catch it >2nd grade stacy snarkily chimes in "ur not allowed to have bouncy balls in class" >mfw bitch thought i actually tossed the most legendary bouncy ball throw of all time and didnt even act impressed View Thread

: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)22:38:52 No.847576597 DANG >be me >be in 2nd grade >have hyperactive imagination >pretend to throw a bouncy ball and watch it bounce all around the classroom THAT BUSSY CAN SQUIRT and land back in my hand 388 KB JPG >pretend to catch it >2nd grade stacy snarkily chimes in "ur not allowed to have bouncy balls in class" >mfw bitch thought i actually tossed the most legendary bouncy ball throw of all time and didnt even act impressed View Thread

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Anon is bored | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)13:31:24 No.847600190 >be me, bored in a zoom lesson >people have cams on >idea.png >start drawing random bimbos from class >draw a random one each day, seems fun enough >get stuck on a specific one, can't 675 KB PNG draw anyone else >show to friend because autism >friend says that that's borderline stalking, stops talking to me >doesn't matter >go to school to get some papers, the whole class is there >have a surprising feeling of superiority over every person that I've drawn, whereas before couldn't even look some of them in the eye Have I found the way, /b/ros?

: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)13:31:24 No.847600190 >be me, bored in a zoom lesson >people have cams on >idea.png >start drawing random bimbos from class >draw a random one each day, seems fun enough >get stuck on a specific one, can't 675 KB PNG draw anyone else >show to friend because autism >friend says that that's borderline stalking, stops talking to me >doesn't matter >go to school to get some papers, the whole class is there >have a surprising feeling of superiority over every person that I've drawn, whereas before couldn't even look some of them in the eye Have I found the way, /b/ros?

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Anon had a weed phase | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)15:02:24 No.847604122 >be me end of high school >be in weed phase MILLIONAIRE >come to class high af >red af eyes reeking of weed >everyone looks at me and teacher asks if i smoked weed 64 KB JPG >too high to think of what to say >"no teacher i drank my dad's cannabis scent parfume and got drunk from alcohol in it" >teacher looks at me worried >i pull out my parfume from my backpack and drink it to prove myself >end up in a hospital >got suspended for being drunk in class

: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)15:02:24 No.847604122 >be me end of high school >be in weed phase MILLIONAIRE >come to class high af >red af eyes reeking of weed >everyone looks at me and teacher asks if i smoked weed 64 KB JPG >too high to think of what to say >"no teacher i drank my dad's cannabis scent parfume and got drunk from alcohol in it" >teacher looks at me worried >i pull out my parfume from my backpack and drink it to prove myself >end up in a hospital >got suspended for being drunk in class

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he didnt say no homo | /r/Greentext

Anonymous = 02/16/21(Tue)22:14:04 No.139673941 >>139674146 >watching a chaturbate steam >a girl is sucking cocks of three guys >after a while she stands up and jerks two of them off >one of the guys starts making out with her dude w--? did you miss the part were she sucked the cocks of your mates there?

Anonymous = 02/16/21(Tue)22:14:04 No.139673941 >>139674146 >watching a chaturbate steam >a girl is sucking cocks of three guys >after a while she stands up and jerks two of them off >one of the guys starts making out with her dude w--? did you miss the part were she sucked the cocks of your mates there?

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Anon enters the dating scene. | /r/Greentext

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Amogus character limit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)22:17:28 No.847575195 HOLY F------ S--- IS THAT A M------------ AMONG US REFERENCE??????!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1 !1!1! AMONG US IS THE BEST F------ GAME RED IS SO SUSSSSS COME TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ME 38 KB PNG SCAN WHY IS NO ONE FIXING 02 OH YOUR CREWMATE? NAME EVERY TASK Where Any sus! Where! Where! Any sus! Where! Any sus! Any sus! Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus Where! Where! Where!Any sus Any sus! Where! Where! Any sus! Any sus! Where! Any sus! Where! Where! Where!Where! Any sus! Any sus! Where! Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! I think it was purple!lt wasnt me I was in vents!!!!!!!!! r/amongusmemes r/unexpectedamongus r/expectedamongus perfectly balanced as all things should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedthanos for balance 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)22:19:38 No.847575359 354 KB PNG

: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)22:17:28 No.847575195 HOLY F------ S--- IS THAT A M------------ AMONG US REFERENCE??????!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1 !1!1! AMONG US IS THE BEST F------ GAME RED IS SO SUSSSSS COME TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ME 38 KB PNG SCAN WHY IS NO ONE FIXING 02 OH YOUR CREWMATE? NAME EVERY TASK Where Any sus! Where! Where! Any sus! Where! Any sus! Any sus! Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus Where! Where! Where!Any sus Any sus! Where! Where! Any sus! Any sus! Where! Any sus! Where! Where! Where!Where! Any sus! Any sus! Where! Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! I think it was purple!lt wasnt me I was in vents!!!!!!!!! r/amongusmemes r/unexpectedamongus r/expectedamongus perfectly balanced as all things should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedthanos for balance 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)22:19:38 No.847575359 354 KB PNG

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Anon writes assessment | /r/Greentext

>be me >ausfag >friend introduces me to 4chan via some obscure YLYL threads about a year ago >remember 4chan exists about 2-3 months ago >begin browsing /b/ >cut to now >trying to write assessment on someone digging up Aboriginal bodies >have to try my hardest to write "Aboriginal" instead of "n-----" You've ruined me, /b/.

>be me >ausfag >friend introduces me to 4chan via some obscure YLYL threads about a year ago >remember 4chan exists about 2-3 months ago >begin browsing /b/ >cut to now >trying to write assessment on someone digging up Aboriginal bodies >have to try my hardest to write "Aboriginal" instead of "n-----" You've ruined me, /b/.

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Anon goes to the doctor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)03:12:20 No.62365902 >Gyms finally open again, start working out once more >get shoulder problems, right shoulder feels unstable >just in case schedule an appointment with my doctor just to check out if its anything major 368 KB GIF >get there >everyone is wearing 2-3 masks and a Kiver-M Faceshield >ok anon Nicole will see you now >Nicole >Doc wasn't available >have to stand there with my shirt off as this nurse pokes and feels around my biceps and traps asking if it hurts >no >yeah it's probably just from gyms being closed and your body getting used to it again. >125 dollars Amazing, I love our medical heroes.

: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)03:12:20 No.62365902 >Gyms finally open again, start working out once more >get shoulder problems, right shoulder feels unstable >just in case schedule an appointment with my doctor just to check out if its anything major 368 KB GIF >get there >everyone is wearing 2-3 masks and a Kiver-M Faceshield >ok anon Nicole will see you now >Nicole >Doc wasn't available >have to stand there with my shirt off as this nurse pokes and feels around my biceps and traps asking if it hurts >no >yeah it's probably just from gyms being closed and your body getting used to it again. >125 dollars Amazing, I love our medical heroes.

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Anon thinks of something funny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like l'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention

: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like l'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention

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Anon gets his dream job | /r/Greentext

File: pepe.png (62 KB, 400x300) Anonymous 12/13/19(Fri)23:36:54 No.816169862 [Reply] ► >be me >jobless footfag >actually unhealthy how much feet turn me on >go to the mall with my mom cause she needs new shoes >she thinks im a good son because I go with her and help her carry stuff >actually go to look at feet >always go to this expensive women shoe shop >only rich white milfs and their cute daughters go there >spot sign that says they are looking for someone to help customers pick shoes >dreamjob.jpg >shoot my shot >get the job >literally touch and look at feet all day long >get paid for it >sometimes Id hold a foot for a while as if Im thinking which shoe would fit them better. Bring some random shoe after >they always love it >even caress their soles and compliment their feet, as if I was a foot expert >feet sommelier >dont even wash my hands after groping their soles like they were japanese s----------- in some JAV >always masturbate in the bathroom during my breaks >one day, after helping a milf with perfect feet, she asks to see my manager >f--- I got caught >fight or flight activates >she tells my manager she wanted to congratulate me on how dedicated I was to my job and how I would even put on their shoes for them, so they didnt have to bend down >crisisavoided >manager says shes happy she hired me >go masturbate in the bathroom as always >get a raise next month my life couldn't get better guys, Im living in a dream right now.

File: pepe.png (62 KB, 400x300) Anonymous 12/13/19(Fri)23:36:54 No.816169862 [Reply] ► >be me >jobless footfag >actually unhealthy how much feet turn me on >go to the mall with my mom cause she needs new shoes >she thinks im a good son because I go with her and help her carry stuff >actually go to look at feet >always go to this expensive women shoe shop >only rich white milfs and their cute daughters go there >spot sign that says they are looking for someone to help customers pick shoes >dreamjob.jpg >shoot my shot >get the job >literally touch and look at feet all day long >get paid for it >sometimes Id hold a foot for a while as if Im thinking which shoe would fit them better. Bring some random shoe after >they always love it >even caress their soles and compliment their feet, as if I was a foot expert >feet sommelier >dont even wash my hands after groping their soles like they were japanese s----------- in some JAV >always masturbate in the bathroom during my breaks >one day, after helping a milf with perfect feet, she asks to see my manager >f--- I got caught >fight or flight activates >she tells my manager she wanted to congratulate me on how dedicated I was to my job and how I would even put on their shoes for them, so they didnt have to bend down >crisisavoided >manager says shes happy she hired me >go masturbate in the bathroom as always >get a raise next month my life couldn't get better guys, Im living in a dream right now.

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