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Anon changes habits | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)11:38:47 No.847679625 >be me 20 >depressed af >corona lockdown >used to be a heavy weed smoker >getting to dealers gets more difficult and dangerous because 13 KB JPG lockdown >decide to take a break >realize that i can easily live without weed >start playing a lot of video games >still depressed, bored of being sober >never really liked alcohol because of taste >decide to experiment >buy a really sweet liquor >i like the taste >get so drunk i cant think >find out being drunk numbs depression and anxiety way more than weed >why didnt i do this before >wake up, drink, play video games, drink, more video games, drink, sleep, repeat >this makes corona lifestyle okay >im happy >i became an alcoholic >mfw
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)11:38:47 No.847679625 >be me 20 >depressed af >corona lockdown >used to be a heavy weed smoker >getting to dealers gets more difficult and dangerous because 13 KB JPG lockdown >decide to take a break >realize that i can easily live without weed >start playing a lot of video games >still depressed, bored of being sober >never really liked alcohol because of taste >decide to experiment >buy a really sweet liquor >i like the taste >get so drunk i cant think >find out being drunk numbs depression and anxiety way more than weed >why didnt i do this before >wake up, drink, play video games, drink, more video games, drink, sleep, repeat >this makes corona lifestyle okay >im happy >i became an alcoholic >mfw

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Anons dishwasher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Fk 06/26/19(Wed)23:44:10 No.53097331 >be me >put knife in dishwasher >She dies >Mfw 23 KB PNG
: Anonymous Fk 06/26/19(Wed)23:44:10 No.53097331 >be me >put knife in dishwasher >She dies >Mfw 23 KB PNG

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Anon enjoys school | /r/Greentext

>be me >in private school >super small only has about 50 students >all normies who have never lifted a weight or played a sport in their life 1.45 MB PNG Flash to gym class >wait in back of gym > other team takes out all of my team except me It'stime.jpg > plug headphones in >start blasting doom soundtrack Rip&tear.jpg >take first ball >rip it into first nerd's face >break his jaw and knock out teeth >kid starts pouring blood and crying >other kids are screaming >start ripping balls randomly , shattering teeth and cracking ribs >after the last kid gets knocked out I get restrained by teachers Unlimited power.png >throw a hook into teacher's face >hear bone crack >get kicked out of school > not allowed to teach ever again
>be me >in private school >super small only has about 50 students >all normies who have never lifted a weight or played a sport in their life 1.45 MB PNG Flash to gym class >wait in back of gym > other team takes out all of my team except me It'stime.jpg > plug headphones in >start blasting doom soundtrack Rip&tear.jpg >take first ball >rip it into first nerd's face >break his jaw and knock out teeth >kid starts pouring blood and crying >other kids are screaming >start ripping balls randomly , shattering teeth and cracking ribs >after the last kid gets knocked out I get restrained by teachers Unlimited power.png >throw a hook into teacher's face >hear bone crack >get kicked out of school > not allowed to teach ever again

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Nice drink | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/25/20(Wed)17:07:07 No.15123441 ► >>15123455 >>15123765 File: hitch.jpg (27 KB, 400x253) >>15123207 (OP). >go to a cocktail lounge >order rum and Coke >is Pepsi okay? >sure >brings me a Pepsi and Coke
O Anonymous 11/25/20(Wed)17:07:07 No.15123441 ► >>15123455 >>15123765 File: hitch.jpg (27 KB, 400x253) >>15123207 (OP). >go to a cocktail lounge >order rum and Coke >is Pepsi okay? >sure >brings me a Pepsi and Coke

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Anon has ascended | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous02/15/17(Wed)20:31:25 No.34899783 >talked to a girl today >didn't instantly fall in love I've ascended boys, it was nice knowin ya. I'm off to other normie things now. 104 KB JPG
: Anonymous02/15/17(Wed)20:31:25 No.34899783 >talked to a girl today >didn't instantly fall in love I've ascended boys, it was nice knowin ya. I'm off to other normie things now. 104 KB JPG

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Anon is lib-center | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)22:38:20 No.847659794 NEW HOT POCKETS If I identify as "they/them" can I get two tax returns? Or three? sandwiches TIDE PODS i ferbidden fruit Pros 1.04 MB PNG View Thread
: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)22:38:20 No.847659794 NEW HOT POCKETS If I identify as "they/them" can I get two tax returns? Or three? sandwiches TIDE PODS i ferbidden fruit Pros 1.04 MB PNG View Thread

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Anon has been in a relationship | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)11:13:16 No.23615230 >am single >want a girlfriend >have a girlfriend >want to be single w-- is this black magic 163 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)11:24:19 No.23615257 >be single >think a relationship is all cuddling and sex >get relationship >realize it is actually a lot of work and stress >can't deal with it >want out Honestly 90% of you f--- complaining about not being able to get a girlfriend wouldn't be able to handle it anyways.
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)11:13:16 No.23615230 >am single >want a girlfriend >have a girlfriend >want to be single w-- is this black magic 163 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)11:24:19 No.23615257 >be single >think a relationship is all cuddling and sex >get relationship >realize it is actually a lot of work and stress >can't deal with it >want out Honestly 90% of you f--- complaining about not being able to get a girlfriend wouldn't be able to handle it anyways.

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Anon grows up | /r/Greentext

No.847673080 9 minutes ago AD2015A9-8420-4057-84DA-0A2A3B7A02E2.png PNG 136.6 KİB 400x388 God f--- me >I plugged in my old Xbox 360 earlier tonight >l wanted to play a game but I just spent an hour looking at all my conversations, achievements, friends, etc >think about how happy this black box made me over the years >feel emotional nostalgia but nothing too sappy, just reminiscing how awesome my life used to be >eventually got over the nostalgia and went to sleep >had a dream/flashback of my 12th birthday, my mom let me stay up late on a school night so I could play Halo with my friends >friends who I haven't thought of in years >friends who would talk to me for hours on Xbox. No responsibilities, just worrying about beating the other person's score >dream of all the great memories I've had with these people >wake up >no longer a kid >no longer have friends who I could hold a conversation with for more than an hour >no more actual enjoyable memories playing video games >just me, an adult with responsibilities, crying for the first time in months >l could achieve everything I ever wanted to in life, but l'll never be as happy as I was back then •..
No.847673080 9 minutes ago AD2015A9-8420-4057-84DA-0A2A3B7A02E2.png PNG 136.6 KİB 400x388 God f--- me >I plugged in my old Xbox 360 earlier tonight >l wanted to play a game but I just spent an hour looking at all my conversations, achievements, friends, etc >think about how happy this black box made me over the years >feel emotional nostalgia but nothing too sappy, just reminiscing how awesome my life used to be >eventually got over the nostalgia and went to sleep >had a dream/flashback of my 12th birthday, my mom let me stay up late on a school night so I could play Halo with my friends >friends who I haven't thought of in years >friends who would talk to me for hours on Xbox. No responsibilities, just worrying about beating the other person's score >dream of all the great memories I've had with these people >wake up >no longer a kid >no longer have friends who I could hold a conversation with for more than an hour >no more actual enjoyable memories playing video games >just me, an adult with responsibilities, crying for the first time in months >l could achieve everything I ever wanted to in life, but l'll never be as happy as I was back then •..

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Anon loves fire trucks | /r/Greentext

positive dad stories thread >be me, 9 >own a toy firetruck >godifuckinglovemyfiretruck.jpg >bring to show and tell >kids make fun of firetruck 158.5 kB PNG >go home tell dad >dad tells me not to worry about it >next day >dad wakes me up for drive to school >pass school >"dad where are we going?" >"my friends want to meet you anon" >pull up to firehouse >dad told his firefighter friends what happened >get tour of firehouse and meet real firemen >get to honk real firetruck horn mfw my dad took off work just to make me feel better over some stupid toy truck
positive dad stories thread >be me, 9 >own a toy firetruck >godifuckinglovemyfiretruck.jpg >bring to show and tell >kids make fun of firetruck 158.5 kB PNG >go home tell dad >dad tells me not to worry about it >next day >dad wakes me up for drive to school >pass school >"dad where are we going?" >"my friends want to meet you anon" >pull up to firehouse >dad told his firefighter friends what happened >get tour of firehouse and meet real firemen >get to honk real firetruck horn mfw my dad took off work just to make me feel better over some stupid toy truck

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Anon is a genius | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)11:57:09 No.847680282 >be me 16 lazy af >switch to a private school >everyone in my new class is a literal f------ retard >2 kids with legitimate special needs, one kid thats constantly on drugs, rest of the class heavily 8 KB JPG below average intelligence >i bearly passed stuff in my old school >compared to these kids im a f------ genius >teachers are fascinated that i can do basic math problems >start getting straight As >parents think i finally started studying >keep not doing anything for the next 5 years until college >now 21 failed all of my college classes because i dont know s--- >dont know how ill manage to pass anything >corona starts >take a gap year to learn everything that i didnt (everything) >mfw re-learning the multiplication table at 21
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)11:57:09 No.847680282 >be me 16 lazy af >switch to a private school >everyone in my new class is a literal f------ retard >2 kids with legitimate special needs, one kid thats constantly on drugs, rest of the class heavily 8 KB JPG below average intelligence >i bearly passed stuff in my old school >compared to these kids im a f------ genius >teachers are fascinated that i can do basic math problems >start getting straight As >parents think i finally started studying >keep not doing anything for the next 5 years until college >now 21 failed all of my college classes because i dont know s--- >dont know how ill manage to pass anything >corona starts >take a gap year to learn everything that i didnt (everything) >mfw re-learning the multiplication table at 21

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Trailer park ranger | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)17:49:39 No.847635934 qfrgtnxy9mr41.jpg 103 KB JPG >be me homeless cuz covid and polar vortex lost everything penniless. >receive $2000 biden buxx stimmy wimmy >walk to walmart, buy a generator, and 4 large wheels, tank to hold gas, rest of pic related. >take a cart from Walmart as you leave as they are sturdy and they have 2000 of them at every store and don't give a f--- if they are lying ran over in a ditch for 2 years. >live forever free and only have to pay for gas, which will last forever because you will only have the weight of machine you have built, your body, and whatever you are attempting to move. >build to whatever scale is necessary as if you are very small and don't need to go far, you could probably get better gas mileage. >only ever travel on back roads or very late at night so you wouldn't get caught. >You could probably add damn near anything to it with a cover for win and 12v battery to power a toaster oven or some b-------, buy frozen meals from a store, and then cook them traveling around as a uber eats to make money. So, how do you like my plan anons?
: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)17:49:39 No.847635934 qfrgtnxy9mr41.jpg 103 KB JPG >be me homeless cuz covid and polar vortex lost everything penniless. >receive $2000 biden buxx stimmy wimmy >walk to walmart, buy a generator, and 4 large wheels, tank to hold gas, rest of pic related. >take a cart from Walmart as you leave as they are sturdy and they have 2000 of them at every store and don't give a f--- if they are lying ran over in a ditch for 2 years. >live forever free and only have to pay for gas, which will last forever because you will only have the weight of machine you have built, your body, and whatever you are attempting to move. >build to whatever scale is necessary as if you are very small and don't need to go far, you could probably get better gas mileage. >only ever travel on back roads or very late at night so you wouldn't get caught. >You could probably add damn near anything to it with a cover for win and 12v battery to power a toaster oven or some b-------, buy frozen meals from a store, and then cook them traveling around as a uber eats to make money. So, how do you like my plan anons?

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Anon talks about botulism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)06:09:04 No.62384077 >be me >have to do a presentation about religions in school together with 2 of my friends >we decide they do all the research but i have to present everything >time for the presentation 24 KB JPG >I read what they prepared for me... christianity, judaism, islam, buddhism, hinduism and... botulism. >not sure what botulism is, just read it, saying botulism is a major world religion >the class starts laughing as i talk about the "botulist religion" for 5 minutes >teacher shouts at me that this isnt funny and that im getting an f >dont know why >look it up >apparently botulism isnt a religion but an illness >mfw my friends trolled me
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)06:09:04 No.62384077 >be me >have to do a presentation about religions in school together with 2 of my friends >we decide they do all the research but i have to present everything >time for the presentation 24 KB JPG >I read what they prepared for me... christianity, judaism, islam, buddhism, hinduism and... botulism. >not sure what botulism is, just read it, saying botulism is a major world religion >the class starts laughing as i talk about the "botulist religion" for 5 minutes >teacher shouts at me that this isnt funny and that im getting an f >dont know why >look it up >apparently botulism isnt a religion but an illness >mfw my friends trolled me

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Anon pranks his friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)09:57:33 No.847675175 >be me >12 years ago >puberty just started >friend from school tells me that i can rub my d--- to feel good >w--.jpg >i dont believe him 28 KB JPG >"show me" >he begins to touch my d--- >feels kinda good am confused >"hey Anon can i put it in my mouth i saw a girl do it" >i have no idea whats going on >"um sure" >my d--- is in my friends mouth >pee in his mouth and start laughing hysterically >funniest thing ever >start telling everyone at school >be bullied until moving out of the country
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)09:57:33 No.847675175 >be me >12 years ago >puberty just started >friend from school tells me that i can rub my d--- to feel good >w--.jpg >i dont believe him 28 KB JPG >"show me" >he begins to touch my d--- >feels kinda good am confused >"hey Anon can i put it in my mouth i saw a girl do it" >i have no idea whats going on >"um sure" >my d--- is in my friends mouth >pee in his mouth and start laughing hysterically >funniest thing ever >start telling everyone at school >be bullied until moving out of the country

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Anon has a wish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Q1Ze8Ro9 02/18/21(Thu)07:51:38 No.12155290 >bring girl over >have work at eight in the morning >don't feel like telling the girl i have to leave very early >we f---, go to bed, etc. >internal clock goes off >it's five in the morning, baby 1.35 MB PNG >decide to freak girl out so she leaves as soon as possible >fully wake up in a fake cold sweat >yell at the top of my lungs >go to bathroom >vomit while laugh-crying >girl wakes up- and starts worrying >run to the kitchen >shotgun three beers >sprint to pull-up bar >do thirty pull-ups while screaming the national anthem >run to girl >kiss her cheek then burp >"this is my morning routine, sweetheart" >punch hole in wall next to her >laugh loudly and burp again >girl runs out of house none of this happened but i wish it did
: Anonymous (ID: Q1Ze8Ro9 02/18/21(Thu)07:51:38 No.12155290 >bring girl over >have work at eight in the morning >don't feel like telling the girl i have to leave very early >we f---, go to bed, etc. >internal clock goes off >it's five in the morning, baby 1.35 MB PNG >decide to freak girl out so she leaves as soon as possible >fully wake up in a fake cold sweat >yell at the top of my lungs >go to bathroom >vomit while laugh-crying >girl wakes up- and starts worrying >run to the kitchen >shotgun three beers >sprint to pull-up bar >do thirty pull-ups while screaming the national anthem >run to girl >kiss her cheek then burp >"this is my morning routine, sweetheart" >punch hole in wall next to her >laugh loudly and burp again >girl runs out of house none of this happened but i wish it did

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Anon is Texan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: SM2FCFVR ) 02/18/21(Thu)03:04:15 No.12154149 >Be Texan >Freeze to death 454 KB PNG
: Anonymous (ID: SM2FCFVR ) 02/18/21(Thu)03:04:15 No.12154149 >Be Texan >Freeze to death 454 KB PNG

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Anon is a drug dealer | /r/Greentext

SENORGIF.COM Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)20:15:30 No.62382964 >Sold my friends weed when I was 15 >All of them are raging addicts now It wasn't worth it
SENORGIF.COM Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)20:15:30 No.62382964 >Sold my friends weed when I was 15 >All of them are raging addicts now It wasn't worth it

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Anon knows how to do a test | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 86CV+14z ) 09/10/14(Wed)20:17:30 No.568048234 Yo did I just f--- up? I'm 95% certain I did. >girl I know is nursing student >solid 9/10 >tells me she knows how to test 38 KB JPG for testicular cancer and can show me >tell her I learned in health class in high school and can do myself I'm pretty sure I'm a f------ idiot
Anonymous (ID: 86CV+14z ) 09/10/14(Wed)20:17:30 No.568048234 Yo did I just f--- up? I'm 95% certain I did. >girl I know is nursing student >solid 9/10 >tells me she knows how to test 38 KB JPG for testicular cancer and can show me >tell her I learned in health class in high school and can do myself I'm pretty sure I'm a f------ idiot

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Anon likes McChickens | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)22:23:52 No.847658932 For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige. 85 KB JPG One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!". Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs. I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.
: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)22:23:52 No.847658932 For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige. 85 KB JPG One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!". Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs. I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.

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Anon is in Texas | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous (ID: (kqVuT/gj ) 02/17/21(Wed)21:46:52 No.308612922 >>308611299 (OP) # >be me >be texanon >power out for a couple days >pop out battery packs, light some candles, eat some cheese and salad >keep refrigerator closed unless necessary, after 24 hours of no power, throw perishables into snow, light fireplace for warmth >have not yet had an instance of 24 hours no power, most has been 16 hours with a few hours back on to recharge devices and prepare some pasta rice and eggs for later >at night, with no power and cold outside, get under blankets in bed >wake up warm and comfy >phonefag on 4chan all day I don't see what the problem is
I Anonymous (ID: (kqVuT/gj ) 02/17/21(Wed)21:46:52 No.308612922 >>308611299 (OP) # >be me >be texanon >power out for a couple days >pop out battery packs, light some candles, eat some cheese and salad >keep refrigerator closed unless necessary, after 24 hours of no power, throw perishables into snow, light fireplace for warmth >have not yet had an instance of 24 hours no power, most has been 16 hours with a few hours back on to recharge devices and prepare some pasta rice and eggs for later >at night, with no power and cold outside, get under blankets in bed >wake up warm and comfy >phonefag on 4chan all day I don't see what the problem is

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Anos the devil | /r/Greentext

No.62362421 13 hours ago 1506965059640.gif GIF 351.6 KiB 504×504 Devilish confessions? >Be me >Be 12 >Go to swimming pool near end of the day >Lady on the desk being a complete a------ to Some older woman >Thỉok about that during swim >Staff consist of receptionist and two life guards. >finish swim >Decide to show displeasure >S--- on changing room flooY >Nice long unbroken log and slightly soft >Pull up trousers and go to toilet to wipe >Walk out past receptionist heading to changing Yooms looking furious. >justiceacheived.ogg 6 replies
No.62362421 13 hours ago 1506965059640.gif GIF 351.6 KiB 504×504 Devilish confessions? >Be me >Be 12 >Go to swimming pool near end of the day >Lady on the desk being a complete a------ to Some older woman >Thỉok about that during swim >Staff consist of receptionist and two life guards. >finish swim >Decide to show displeasure >S--- on changing room flooY >Nice long unbroken log and slightly soft >Pull up trousers and go to toilet to wipe >Walk out past receptionist heading to changing Yooms looking furious. >justiceacheived.ogg 6 replies

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