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Anon then, anon now | /r/Greentext

10:301 : Anonymous Sad things you do 11/12/15(Thu)22:15:16 No.24222146 >Вe a kid >Come home from school >Mom works an evening shift at a gas station >She leaves pizza for me >Have two games for my 22 KB PNG SNES >TMNT Tournament Fighters and The Addams Family >Put pizza in oven and use watch to time it >Play game while pizza cooks, often get distracted by my games. >Have burnt pizza most nights but eat it anyway. >Usually asleep by the time Mom gets home >We'd chat for a while if I was still up playing games. >One night on her way home she was hit by a drunk driver and she died. >In my 20s now >Occasionally I'll play TMNT and Addams Family on a SNES and fat old CRT TV and eat burnt pizza. >Eating burnt pizza comforts me regardless of the taste. >Pretend Mom is still out there working at the gas station >Go to bed early so the illusion isn't broken

10:301 : Anonymous Sad things you do 11/12/15(Thu)22:15:16 No.24222146 >Вe a kid >Come home from school >Mom works an evening shift at a gas station >She leaves pizza for me >Have two games for my 22 KB PNG SNES >TMNT Tournament Fighters and The Addams Family >Put pizza in oven and use watch to time it >Play game while pizza cooks, often get distracted by my games. >Have burnt pizza most nights but eat it anyway. >Usually asleep by the time Mom gets home >We'd chat for a while if I was still up playing games. >One night on her way home she was hit by a drunk driver and she died. >In my 20s now >Occasionally I'll play TMNT and Addams Family on a SNES and fat old CRT TV and eat burnt pizza. >Eating burnt pizza comforts me regardless of the taste. >Pretend Mom is still out there working at the gas station >Go to bed early so the illusion isn't broken

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Anon is Mr White | /r/Greentext

НАААААААNK.png 936 КВ PNG НААААААААААААААAANK НАААААААААААAАААAAAAAAAAAAAANK GET THE SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE НААААААААААAANK THE SWEET AND SOUR NOT BARBEQUE НААААААААААААААAААААААААAAAAAАAAAA

НАААААААNK.png 936 КВ PNG НААААААААААААААAANK НАААААААААААAАААAAAAAAAAAAAANK GET THE SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE НААААААААААAANK THE SWEET AND SOUR NOT BARBEQUE НААААААААААААААAААААААААAAAAAАAAAA

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Anon doesn’t wanna streetshit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/20/19(Wed)23:01:42 No.55439257 >wanting to kill yourself >remembering your chances of spawning back as indian are too high 280 KB GIF View Thread

: Anonymous 11/20/19(Wed)23:01:42 No.55439257 >wanting to kill yourself >remembering your chances of spawning back as indian are too high 280 KB GIF View Thread

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Anon Reminisces | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 847881179 1 hr. ago >8th grade >English class >Tard kid named Ben Jacobson sits in the back >Makes weird noises and farts all the time. We get used to it >One day we have a sub so we get to watch a movie >Tard starts making his normal tard noises >Everyone ignores it like usual >Suddenly the girl sitting in front of him jumps out of her chair >OH MY GOD BEN WHAT THE F--- >Tard starts yelling and moaning and saying "I sowwy" and s--- >Girl turns around and runs out of the room screaming and crying >Her back and hair are splattered with the most massive load of c-- l've ever seen >Turns out Ben decided it was time to crank his hog once the lights were out for the movie >Literally a horse-sized load >Ben stands up and tries to run away, revealing his gigantic uncut retard d--- >Takes two steps and trips over a backpack >Eats s--- and smashes his face directly into the corner of a table >Blood everywhere, Ben is screaming. C--- dangling wildly. >Substitute orders everyone out of the classroom and literally locks him inside the room alone until the school cop can come and deal with it He somehow didn't get expelled. We all called him Ben Jack-offson until the end of high school. Kek. 1 REPLY

Anonymous 847881179 1 hr. ago >8th grade >English class >Tard kid named Ben Jacobson sits in the back >Makes weird noises and farts all the time. We get used to it >One day we have a sub so we get to watch a movie >Tard starts making his normal tard noises >Everyone ignores it like usual >Suddenly the girl sitting in front of him jumps out of her chair >OH MY GOD BEN WHAT THE F--- >Tard starts yelling and moaning and saying "I sowwy" and s--- >Girl turns around and runs out of the room screaming and crying >Her back and hair are splattered with the most massive load of c-- l've ever seen >Turns out Ben decided it was time to crank his hog once the lights were out for the movie >Literally a horse-sized load >Ben stands up and tries to run away, revealing his gigantic uncut retard d--- >Takes two steps and trips over a backpack >Eats s--- and smashes his face directly into the corner of a table >Blood everywhere, Ben is screaming. C--- dangling wildly. >Substitute orders everyone out of the classroom and literally locks him inside the room alone until the school cop can come and deal with it He somehow didn't get expelled. We all called him Ben Jack-offson until the end of high school. Kek. 1 REPLY

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>mommy gf? | /r/Greentext

FALHNER おMRITM OAnonymous 02/02/21(Tue)04:27:07 No.59652376 2259653591 2259654059 >>59654623 >»59654659 >>59654943 »>59655216 2»59655244 File: Screen Shot 2021-02-02 at(..). png (471 KB, 1686x942) >>59651551 that son of a bitch, you can see it in his eyes. Looking right back at you. Knowing that you know that he knows that you know that he knows that you know he motorboats those tiddies on his tippytoes every night in pure ecstasy. That he gets to plow into his snu snu bride, holding one leg up in each hand like he's pushing open two huge oak doors, and getting to slam her with no restraint whatsoever. Her huge milkers bouncing around, hitting each other with meaty thick smacks after every thrust as he busts his nuts into his giantess. You know this, and he knows you know this. And that's why he looks at you that way. He won a game you didn't even know you could play. That son of a bitch ious

FALHNER おMRITM OAnonymous 02/02/21(Tue)04:27:07 No.59652376 2259653591 2259654059 >>59654623 >»59654659 >>59654943 »>59655216 2»59655244 File: Screen Shot 2021-02-02 at(..). png (471 KB, 1686x942) >>59651551 that son of a bitch, you can see it in his eyes. Looking right back at you. Knowing that you know that he knows that you know that he knows that you know he motorboats those tiddies on his tippytoes every night in pure ecstasy. That he gets to plow into his snu snu bride, holding one leg up in each hand like he's pushing open two huge oak doors, and getting to slam her with no restraint whatsoever. Her huge milkers bouncing around, hitting each other with meaty thick smacks after every thrust as he busts his nuts into his giantess. You know this, and he knows you know this. And that's why he looks at you that way. He won a game you didn't even know you could play. That son of a bitch ious

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Cum pounding interest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)18:29:59 No.62422971 >NEET >horny as f--- >join a p--- site for $3 (trial) because I can't find the videos anywhere else for free >think I'm gonna download a fuckton of p--- for the next 3 days 27 KB JPG >it's all just 5 minute previews >can't cancel it >charged $30 which I don't have >get charged an extra $35 by the bank for overdraft >don't want to explain to my mom that l'm $75 in debt for p--- >just got charged another $30 plus $35 in overdraft >now $150 in the hole

: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)18:29:59 No.62422971 >NEET >horny as f--- >join a p--- site for $3 (trial) because I can't find the videos anywhere else for free >think I'm gonna download a fuckton of p--- for the next 3 days 27 KB JPG >it's all just 5 minute previews >can't cancel it >charged $30 which I don't have >get charged an extra $35 by the bank for overdraft >don't want to explain to my mom that l'm $75 in debt for p--- >just got charged another $30 plus $35 in overdraft >now $150 in the hole

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Anon predicts the future | /r/Greentext

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anon meets a cute boy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)11:10:55 No.62418082 File: 1599354723903.jpg (42 KB, 499x499) >met up with another cute boy today >I want to cook for you cutie >make him my signature hot 'n spicy meatballs >orgasmic expression on his face as he eats it >"I need some more water anon, they're so spicy" >sure, l'll get you some, just wait right here >little does he know I'm serving him holy water >the boy has dranken 2 glasses of holy water >far more than is necessary for a successful exorcism >his face starts to convulse and turn red >"I AM XENONOALALAL19CDFA AND YOU SHALL NOT EXPEL ME" >oh boy, this ones going to be difficult >my cross is conveniently attached beneath the table >pull it out and hold it up facing the demon >jump over the table onto him

Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)11:10:55 No.62418082 File: 1599354723903.jpg (42 KB, 499x499) >met up with another cute boy today >I want to cook for you cutie >make him my signature hot 'n spicy meatballs >orgasmic expression on his face as he eats it >"I need some more water anon, they're so spicy" >sure, l'll get you some, just wait right here >little does he know I'm serving him holy water >the boy has dranken 2 glasses of holy water >far more than is necessary for a successful exorcism >his face starts to convulse and turn red >"I AM XENONOALALAL19CDFA AND YOU SHALL NOT EXPEL ME" >oh boy, this ones going to be difficult >my cross is conveniently attached beneath the table >pull it out and hold it up facing the demon >jump over the table onto him

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He don’t stop, he can’t stop | /r/Greentext

File: download.jpg (10 KB, 228x221) Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)12:05:23 No.62418578 [Reply] >>62419159 >>62419822 >>62419857 >be me >grade 7, no friends >cute girls listening to music, sharing earbuds. new Daft Punk CD on desk >want to impress girl >"Oh hey, thanks for buying my album. Do you like it?" >half way through school year. Literally first time ever talking to girl >"what?" >"that's my album. I am Daft Punk" >faces mix of confusion and disgust >"You're not Daft Punk" >"Yes I am" >"Daft Punk is two guys" >"No, I am Daft Punk. The other guy is a real robot. That I made" >Other kids start to crowd around >"You're not Daft Punk Anon. And you can't make a robot. Why are you lying?" >"My dad helped me make the robot. And I am Daft Punk, and tomorrow l'll prove it" >Get home. Dad is passed out in front of TV with 4 empty beers in front of him >Only 4 today. Maybe this will work >"Dad can you help me make a robot?" >"..Wha?" >"I need to make a robot. For homework" >Gives me same look of confusion and disgust as girls from class and goes back to sleep >Oh well. Assume everyone at school will have forgotten anyway >Next day at school. "Hey Daft Punk. So where's this proof?" >Pretend to have no idea what they're talking about >Teasing escalates fast, need escape plan >"Alright you got me. I have a secret twin. We go to school on opposite days so you were talking to him. That's why I don't know what you're talking about" "You don't have a secret twin Anon. What's his name?" "We both have the same name" "How come only one of you goes to school at a time?" "Because we take turns. One of us goes to school.." >can't help self "while the other one be's Daft Punk." "Daft Punk is two guys. How can you be Daft Punk while one of you is at school?" "Alright you got me. ..I have a secret triplet."

File: download.jpg (10 KB, 228x221) Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)12:05:23 No.62418578 [Reply] >>62419159 >>62419822 >>62419857 >be me >grade 7, no friends >cute girls listening to music, sharing earbuds. new Daft Punk CD on desk >want to impress girl >"Oh hey, thanks for buying my album. Do you like it?" >half way through school year. Literally first time ever talking to girl >"what?" >"that's my album. I am Daft Punk" >faces mix of confusion and disgust >"You're not Daft Punk" >"Yes I am" >"Daft Punk is two guys" >"No, I am Daft Punk. The other guy is a real robot. That I made" >Other kids start to crowd around >"You're not Daft Punk Anon. And you can't make a robot. Why are you lying?" >"My dad helped me make the robot. And I am Daft Punk, and tomorrow l'll prove it" >Get home. Dad is passed out in front of TV with 4 empty beers in front of him >Only 4 today. Maybe this will work >"Dad can you help me make a robot?" >"..Wha?" >"I need to make a robot. For homework" >Gives me same look of confusion and disgust as girls from class and goes back to sleep >Oh well. Assume everyone at school will have forgotten anyway >Next day at school. "Hey Daft Punk. So where's this proof?" >Pretend to have no idea what they're talking about >Teasing escalates fast, need escape plan >"Alright you got me. I have a secret twin. We go to school on opposite days so you were talking to him. That's why I don't know what you're talking about" "You don't have a secret twin Anon. What's his name?" "We both have the same name" "How come only one of you goes to school at a time?" "Because we take turns. One of us goes to school.." >can't help self "while the other one be's Daft Punk." "Daft Punk is two guys. How can you be Daft Punk while one of you is at school?" "Alright you got me. ..I have a secret triplet."

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anon got a fan | /r/Greentext

>>46575716 # >be me >neighbour has heavily disabled son 2.98 MB PNG >l'm talking Steven hawkings levels of qaudraspazzed >outside gym master race >one day I'm lifting and he's in the neighbors garden >I'm benching my 1RM >here a noise >look up and see this little spazoid cheering and bobbing his head >now every time I lift he wheels himself out and cheers me on >mfw I now lift for him >>46575873 # >>46575916 # >>46575954 # >>46575963 # >>46576013 # >>46576043 # >>46576233 # >>46578453 # >>46578580 # >>46578865 # >>46582317 # >>46582488 # >>46582583 # >>46582599 #

>>46575716 # >be me >neighbour has heavily disabled son 2.98 MB PNG >l'm talking Steven hawkings levels of qaudraspazzed >outside gym master race >one day I'm lifting and he's in the neighbors garden >I'm benching my 1RM >here a noise >look up and see this little spazoid cheering and bobbing his head >now every time I lift he wheels himself out and cheers me on >mfw I now lift for him >>46575873 # >>46575916 # >>46575954 # >>46575963 # >>46576013 # >>46576043 # >>46576233 # >>46578453 # >>46578580 # >>46578865 # >>46582317 # >>46582488 # >>46582583 # >>46582599 #

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Anon prefers to stay inside | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)15:50:39 No.847849362 >be me >haven't left the house since mid december am i becoming one of you guys? 59 KB JPG

: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)15:50:39 No.847849362 >be me >haven't left the house since mid december am i becoming one of you guys? 59 KB JPG

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Ministry for School Security | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous F----- up public school activi(...) 02/19/21(Fri)21:07:04 No.62411021 Anyone else have weird public high school methods of weeding out kids with mental problems? >Be me >Freshman year of high school >First day of classes is freshmen only, with some upper classmen who lead small 47 KB JPG group activities >One of these activities involved sitting in a circle and saying things about ourselves to "get to know eachother" >Starts out with everyone saying basic stuff, like "I have two cats" "I went to Paris when I was 12" etc >After a couple rounds, the leader starts getting very personal, like into actual family issues >The group starts to follow suit >Soon the group starts getting really deep. One kid said he cut himself because he couldn't feel pain >Another kid says that he makes himself vomit becuase of how anxious he is about grades >The entire thing seems f-----, but autistic freshman me just thought I was making real friends >ffwd to my senior year of high school >l join the same freshman leader group because it looks good on a resume, plus I actually liked my high school >We have to attend a training session >The trainors start talking about the circle game >They tell us that its to find out what kids need therapy and what kids could potentially be dangerous >They say that we have to start out with basic things, then move into deep family/personal issues >We can make the s--- up if we want to, we just have to coerce the freshmen into telling us their mental problems >lf any of the freshmen say something that we think could be harmful, we write their names down and pass it off to an admin >The kid would be pulled into a counsolers meeting sometime later that week >We literally had to build fake trust to try and weed out potential school shooters and kids who might kill themselves Anyone else have anything similar at their high schools? I'm american btw if you hadn't guessed by the f----- up public school system

: Anonymous F----- up public school activi(...) 02/19/21(Fri)21:07:04 No.62411021 Anyone else have weird public high school methods of weeding out kids with mental problems? >Be me >Freshman year of high school >First day of classes is freshmen only, with some upper classmen who lead small 47 KB JPG group activities >One of these activities involved sitting in a circle and saying things about ourselves to "get to know eachother" >Starts out with everyone saying basic stuff, like "I have two cats" "I went to Paris when I was 12" etc >After a couple rounds, the leader starts getting very personal, like into actual family issues >The group starts to follow suit >Soon the group starts getting really deep. One kid said he cut himself because he couldn't feel pain >Another kid says that he makes himself vomit becuase of how anxious he is about grades >The entire thing seems f-----, but autistic freshman me just thought I was making real friends >ffwd to my senior year of high school >l join the same freshman leader group because it looks good on a resume, plus I actually liked my high school >We have to attend a training session >The trainors start talking about the circle game >They tell us that its to find out what kids need therapy and what kids could potentially be dangerous >They say that we have to start out with basic things, then move into deep family/personal issues >We can make the s--- up if we want to, we just have to coerce the freshmen into telling us their mental problems >lf any of the freshmen say something that we think could be harmful, we write their names down and pass it off to an admin >The kid would be pulled into a counsolers meeting sometime later that week >We literally had to build fake trust to try and weed out potential school shooters and kids who might kill themselves Anyone else have anything similar at their high schools? I'm american btw if you hadn't guessed by the f----- up public school system

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Anon kissed a girl and liked it | /r/Greentext

HEY BRO YOU GOT A FAT ASS NGL >be me >8 year old girl >neighbor girl stays the night >she asks me if l've ever watched p--- >l say ofcourse not, what's that?? >she shows me a video of a girl getting f----- >l turn instantly red but can't stop watching >she asks if I like it >l tell her it makes me feel weird >she says l'll like the next video >it's of two girls kissing and they start watching each other out. > she puts her hand on my thigh as we watch >I start feeling very tingly > when it's over she asks me if I wanna try >before I can reply her teeth knocks against mine as she tries to kiss me Her tongue taste like popcorn and I don't think we're kissing like the grownups but it feels nice

HEY BRO YOU GOT A FAT ASS NGL >be me >8 year old girl >neighbor girl stays the night >she asks me if l've ever watched p--- >l say ofcourse not, what's that?? >she shows me a video of a girl getting f----- >l turn instantly red but can't stop watching >she asks if I like it >l tell her it makes me feel weird >she says l'll like the next video >it's of two girls kissing and they start watching each other out. > she puts her hand on my thigh as we watch >I start feeling very tingly > when it's over she asks me if I wanna try >before I can reply her teeth knocks against mine as she tries to kiss me Her tongue taste like popcorn and I don't think we're kissing like the grownups but it feels nice

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Land of milk and honeys | /r/Greentext

File: EmFgC2TU4AIRwtz.jpg (166 KB, 1043x1200) O Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)02:46:47 No.62414415 [Reply] >>62416095 >>62416114 >>62416191 >>62416234 >The year is 2029, Biden has been reelected and sworn in for a third term after amending the constitution, and is kept alive well into his 80s through the occult powers of Kamala Harris' >ICE has been abolished, borders have been opened, and the US is now 10% white >You hear a knock on the door >You open it and pic related stands outside >"Hey anon you're probably wondering whats going on now" >"You see, the federal government is now controlled by the communist party of the USA" she says >"And you're now the charman?" you reply >"Chairwoman!" she snaps "we're going to have to teach you about inclusive language" >She walks in and pushes you against the wall >"Anyways, as part of a new government program, we plan to rid your colonizer genes from this country. So I'm gonna have to seize those means of reproduction, in order to redistribute them among the masses" >"That is, after I'm done with them of course!" >Alex looks at you and lets, an insidious smile creeps across her face and she lets put a giggle >"Anyways, non-compliers will get a year in the gulag, so let's get those pants off" >She looks down at your bulge and her mutt eyes start to widen >"Oh my, looks like someone has some reparations for slavery and colonialism"

File: EmFgC2TU4AIRwtz.jpg (166 KB, 1043x1200) O Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)02:46:47 No.62414415 [Reply] >>62416095 >>62416114 >>62416191 >>62416234 >The year is 2029, Biden has been reelected and sworn in for a third term after amending the constitution, and is kept alive well into his 80s through the occult powers of Kamala Harris' >ICE has been abolished, borders have been opened, and the US is now 10% white >You hear a knock on the door >You open it and pic related stands outside >"Hey anon you're probably wondering whats going on now" >"You see, the federal government is now controlled by the communist party of the USA" she says >"And you're now the charman?" you reply >"Chairwoman!" she snaps "we're going to have to teach you about inclusive language" >She walks in and pushes you against the wall >"Anyways, as part of a new government program, we plan to rid your colonizer genes from this country. So I'm gonna have to seize those means of reproduction, in order to redistribute them among the masses" >"That is, after I'm done with them of course!" >Alex looks at you and lets, an insidious smile creeps across her face and she lets put a giggle >"Anyways, non-compliers will get a year in the gulag, so let's get those pants off" >She looks down at your bulge and her mutt eyes start to widen >"Oh my, looks like someone has some reparations for slavery and colonialism"

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Anon contemplates life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)05:58:58 No.62415846 hqdefault.jpg 9 KB JPG >one shot at life >make 20k a year

: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)05:58:58 No.62415846 hqdefault.jpg 9 KB JPG >one shot at life >make 20k a year

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anon likes ping pong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I bought my VR headset for por(...) 02/18/21(Thu)07:02:23 No.544813836 First time I tried it I thought it was crappy S Then I downloaded a 8k video and it blew my f------ mind, just looking at this girls body just enjoying every part of her body. I usually just load up s--- and get it over with but f--- I spent 20 minutes+ just seeing her look into my eyes and smile and it f------ 400 KB JPG broke my heart. Now I look at vr roleplay videos where there's this tomboy girl just taking this camera with her to places and she looks into your eyes and just talks about her day while messing with he camera. And I just sit there and genuinely am happy just thinking man I wish I could take her there I wish I could kiss her at night next to fireplace. Then I take the headset off and realize I will never get that. It's a pure imitation, not the real thing. Don't get a VR headset. It will break you. : Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)07:07:48 No.544814267 I use my VR headset to play ping pong I love ping pong >>544814776 # >>544814779 # >>544814959 # >>544815105 # >>544815359 # >>544816523 # >>544818525 # >>544818815 #

: Anonymous I bought my VR headset for por(...) 02/18/21(Thu)07:02:23 No.544813836 First time I tried it I thought it was crappy S Then I downloaded a 8k video and it blew my f------ mind, just looking at this girls body just enjoying every part of her body. I usually just load up s--- and get it over with but f--- I spent 20 minutes+ just seeing her look into my eyes and smile and it f------ 400 KB JPG broke my heart. Now I look at vr roleplay videos where there's this tomboy girl just taking this camera with her to places and she looks into your eyes and just talks about her day while messing with he camera. And I just sit there and genuinely am happy just thinking man I wish I could take her there I wish I could kiss her at night next to fireplace. Then I take the headset off and realize I will never get that. It's a pure imitation, not the real thing. Don't get a VR headset. It will break you. : Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)07:07:48 No.544814267 I use my VR headset to play ping pong I love ping pong >>544814776 # >>544814779 # >>544814959 # >>544815105 # >>544815359 # >>544816523 # >>544818525 # >>544818815 #

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Anon is banksy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/21/14(Sun)23:00:27 No.586722631 ► >586722863 File: 1412741367519.jpg (10 KB, 256x256) >in grade 2 >draw d---- in all of the "Where's Waldo" books in the school library >I have no idea why, maybe just for the thrill of knowing I'm doing something bad >whenever I do so, the school buys a new copy >they know it's the same person because I only target Waldo >after 7 or 8 destroyed Waldo d--- books, they begin putting them in a special, supervised section of the library on a bench >no one was allowed to carry them off and an old librarian bitch kept her eyes on them 24/7 >mom and dad are out of town for an evening so I hatch my master plan >after class is over, I go to the back of the library and hide in a cabinet playing my gameboy color until the school closes >fast forward 4 hours >it's the evening, l'm walking around the library, not a soul in sight >walk over to the "Where's Waldo" podium where a stack of 10 books is sitting, untouched and ready to be defiled >spend the next 3 hours drawing d---- all over them >put them back in place >unlock the doors and walk out of the school, go home on the biggest high ever >felt like a secret agent / gangster / rebel >the next day an assembly is held and the principal talks to everyone about vandalism and the books >the school ended up spending a ton of money and installed 20 cameras around the school to catch anyone breaking in >I had already won, the damage had already been done

Anonymous 12/21/14(Sun)23:00:27 No.586722631 ► >586722863 File: 1412741367519.jpg (10 KB, 256x256) >in grade 2 >draw d---- in all of the "Where's Waldo" books in the school library >I have no idea why, maybe just for the thrill of knowing I'm doing something bad >whenever I do so, the school buys a new copy >they know it's the same person because I only target Waldo >after 7 or 8 destroyed Waldo d--- books, they begin putting them in a special, supervised section of the library on a bench >no one was allowed to carry them off and an old librarian bitch kept her eyes on them 24/7 >mom and dad are out of town for an evening so I hatch my master plan >after class is over, I go to the back of the library and hide in a cabinet playing my gameboy color until the school closes >fast forward 4 hours >it's the evening, l'm walking around the library, not a soul in sight >walk over to the "Where's Waldo" podium where a stack of 10 books is sitting, untouched and ready to be defiled >spend the next 3 hours drawing d---- all over them >put them back in place >unlock the doors and walk out of the school, go home on the biggest high ever >felt like a secret agent / gangster / rebel >the next day an assembly is held and the principal talks to everyone about vandalism and the books >the school ended up spending a ton of money and installed 20 cameras around the school to catch anyone breaking in >I had already won, the damage had already been done

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Anons famous pickup line | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/21/18(Wed)17:58:01 No.43378543 Am i retarded? >Be 16 >pretty beta but not bad looking >meet 8/10 japanese girl >start talking 273 KB PNG >she's into me >its happening >says her name is hiroka >gives me her number >call later that night >nervous asf >"Hey hiroshima" >"What did you say Anon?!" >s--- s--- s--- >try to recover >"Because..uh you're the bomb" "she hangs up" View Thread Memecenter.com

: Anonymous 02/21/18(Wed)17:58:01 No.43378543 Am i retarded? >Be 16 >pretty beta but not bad looking >meet 8/10 japanese girl >start talking 273 KB PNG >she's into me >its happening >says her name is hiroka >gives me her number >call later that night >nervous asf >"Hey hiroshima" >"What did you say Anon?!" >s--- s--- s--- >try to recover >"Because..uh you're the bomb" "she hangs up" View Thread Memecenter.com

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Anon makes a friend | /r/Greentext

>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related

>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related

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Anon decides to stop being ginger | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)04:52:23 No.3692468 >>3692369 # I used to be a ginger but thank god 3 year old me got his s--- together and put a stop to it. Now my hair is black According to eye witness accounts my head looked like a tiger as the black came in and the vile red was displaced. But I know deep down a ginger lurks somewhere within me waiting to escape its why I'm terrified of having children with a white woman..what if she has ginger lurking somewhere within her For now Its only asians for me because of that but the problem is I'm getting sick of them because all the girls I date look exactly the same >>3692475 #

: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)04:52:23 No.3692468 >>3692369 # I used to be a ginger but thank god 3 year old me got his s--- together and put a stop to it. Now my hair is black According to eye witness accounts my head looked like a tiger as the black came in and the vile red was displaced. But I know deep down a ginger lurks somewhere within me waiting to escape its why I'm terrified of having children with a white woman..what if she has ginger lurking somewhere within her For now Its only asians for me because of that but the problem is I'm getting sick of them because all the girls I date look exactly the same >>3692475 #

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