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Anon hustles | /r/Greentext

No.772995598 06/30/18(Sat)05:29:45 R14kkDj.jpg JPG 35.1 KiB 657x527 >be me >be in 5th grade >class is planning field trip, need money >everyone needs to bring 20 dollars >go home, ask mom for 30 dollars so I can have 10 dollars extra for myself >mom doesn't believe me, goes to friend's house who lives on the same street >ohshit.gif >comes back angry, saying I need to pay more attention in class meetings >tfw I found out my friend told his parents that he needed 50 dollars
No.772995598 06/30/18(Sat)05:29:45 R14kkDj.jpg JPG 35.1 KiB 657x527 >be me >be in 5th grade >class is planning field trip, need money >everyone needs to bring 20 dollars >go home, ask mom for 30 dollars so I can have 10 dollars extra for myself >mom doesn't believe me, goes to friend's house who lives on the same street >ohshit.gif >comes back angry, saying I need to pay more attention in class meetings >tfw I found out my friend told his parents that he needed 50 dollars

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Destroy the child | /r/Greentext

>be me, playing WoW >play on asian servers because NA servers are too easy >2 Chinese players bully me >type "June 4th 1989, Tian an Men Square Massacre" 22 KB JPG >Both disconnect >mfw I just sent two inncoent children to a Chinese Labor Camp and got their whole family executed
>be me, playing WoW >play on asian servers because NA servers are too easy >2 Chinese players bully me >type "June 4th 1989, Tian an Men Square Massacre" 22 KB JPG >Both disconnect >mfw I just sent two inncoent children to a Chinese Labor Camp and got their whole family executed

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Anon has his period | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous autism stories 07/10/16(Sun)16:55:42 No.29860159 >be me in high school >standard autist with few friends and zero experience with grills >some how this one girl finds me cute and goes out of her way to talk to me 412 KB JPG >invite her to come over >realize i should probably shave because who knows what could happen >have never shaved there before >cut d--- in multiple places, wipe off blood and just forget about it >later shes at my house and we are on the couch >things are going well we start making out >she grabs my d--- and starts stroking >pulls her hand away suddenly and its covered in blood >anon what is this!!? >only thing i can think of "haha i guess guys can have periods too" last time i saw her
: Anonymous autism stories 07/10/16(Sun)16:55:42 No.29860159 >be me in high school >standard autist with few friends and zero experience with grills >some how this one girl finds me cute and goes out of her way to talk to me 412 KB JPG >invite her to come over >realize i should probably shave because who knows what could happen >have never shaved there before >cut d--- in multiple places, wipe off blood and just forget about it >later shes at my house and we are on the couch >things are going well we start making out >she grabs my d--- and starts stroking >pulls her hand away suddenly and its covered in blood >anon what is this!!? >only thing i can think of "haha i guess guys can have periods too" last time i saw her

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Anon had a brother | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/24/21(Wed)00:47:48 No.848096838 >be me >have little brother >brother has 18 y/o highschool friend (bro is 12, middle and high school are same building >bro wants to try cigarettes out of curiosty 38 KB JPG >bros friends buys some for him and gives him the pack in exchange for pokemon cards >bro takes cigarettes home and is about to smoke one when mom barges in >mom tells dad, both are furious (they are strict antidrug >for punishment, they force him to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes everyday for an entire month >ffw a year, bro is coughing up blood >keeps asking parents to go to hospital but they refuse for like 3 months >once they finally go, it is discovered my bro has cancer >he dies two years later, on Christmas >because of sketchy indian company life insurance, my parents get over $500,000 >gave him a cheap, school funded funeral >spend most of the money on Disneyland "in his memory" : Anonymous 02/24/21(Wed)00:49:37 No.848096930 >>848096838 (OP) # At least that kid made some money. You should be more like your brother.
: Anonymous 02/24/21(Wed)00:47:48 No.848096838 >be me >have little brother >brother has 18 y/o highschool friend (bro is 12, middle and high school are same building >bro wants to try cigarettes out of curiosty 38 KB JPG >bros friends buys some for him and gives him the pack in exchange for pokemon cards >bro takes cigarettes home and is about to smoke one when mom barges in >mom tells dad, both are furious (they are strict antidrug >for punishment, they force him to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes everyday for an entire month >ffw a year, bro is coughing up blood >keeps asking parents to go to hospital but they refuse for like 3 months >once they finally go, it is discovered my bro has cancer >he dies two years later, on Christmas >because of sketchy indian company life insurance, my parents get over $500,000 >gave him a cheap, school funded funeral >spend most of the money on Disneyland "in his memory" : Anonymous 02/24/21(Wed)00:49:37 No.848096930 >>848096838 (OP) # At least that kid made some money. You should be more like your brother.

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Anon will need a place to stay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)18:59:50 No.20528888 >have sex with step-sister >step-dad finds out >throws a tantrum and says he will kick me out of the house >tell him it's okay since we are not blood related >he says it's not okay since she is 15 and has down syndrome >tfw gonna be homeless soon
Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)18:59:50 No.20528888 >have sex with step-sister >step-dad finds out >throws a tantrum and says he will kick me out of the house >tell him it's okay since we are not blood related >he says it's not okay since she is 15 and has down syndrome >tfw gonna be homeless soon

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Anon harassed a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)06:13:13 No.848090205 >be me with some friends going to the bar >see random girl in the back of the HARVARI bar with Harvard shirt on .. confusedface.jpg 824 KB JPG >go over to ask her if she went to harvard >she says no and looks all confused >go back to my seat wondering why the f--- someone would wear that if they never went to f------ harvard >three dudes surround my seat 10 minutes later calling me a p---- and asking me why I harassed her. drunk as f--- obviously. >their girl friends screaming at me that I have a tiny penis and s---. thefuck.jpg >bartender breaks it up and asks me what happened >bartended kicks all of them out >they go screaming at me to meet them outside and again with the tiny penis insults... why do people even go to the bar if this s--- happens? I get it, I didn't mind my own business but I really wanted to know why the f--- random slut has a Harvard shirt on in Northern Ohio. Is this a normie reaction? Why the violence? I've seen it erupt at bars normally and I tend to mind my own business. 94 Replies / 11 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)06:13:13 No.848090205 >be me with some friends going to the bar >see random girl in the back of the HARVARI bar with Harvard shirt on .. confusedface.jpg 824 KB JPG >go over to ask her if she went to harvard >she says no and looks all confused >go back to my seat wondering why the f--- someone would wear that if they never went to f------ harvard >three dudes surround my seat 10 minutes later calling me a p---- and asking me why I harassed her. drunk as f--- obviously. >their girl friends screaming at me that I have a tiny penis and s---. thefuck.jpg >bartender breaks it up and asks me what happened >bartended kicks all of them out >they go screaming at me to meet them outside and again with the tiny penis insults... why do people even go to the bar if this s--- happens? I get it, I didn't mind my own business but I really wanted to know why the f--- random slut has a Harvard shirt on in Northern Ohio. Is this a normie reaction? Why the violence? I've seen it erupt at bars normally and I tend to mind my own business. 94 Replies / 11 Images View Thread

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Anon takes fiber | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)09:54:45 No.848100344 >be me >frequently have liquid s---- >doc recommends I start taking Metamucil (fiber supplement) >read the instructions >it says take two scoops and mix it in water 225 KB JPG >my dumb ass assumed 1 scoop = 1 cup >grab my big gallon water bottle, put two cups of it in and mix it with water >chug >fast forward five days >haven't shat yet >can feel the baby sized turd growing in me >chug a bunch of coffee to trigger a bowel movement >sit on toilet for three hours as I push a f------ football out of my a------ >feel like l'm getting f----- in the prison showers >it seriously feels like my a------ is being ripped open >keep pushing >relief >s--- was the size of a $5 footlong sub >have to break it down with the plunger to flush it Now I'm considering doing it again cause the feeling it had on my a------ kinda turned me on. Thoughts?
: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)09:54:45 No.848100344 >be me >frequently have liquid s---- >doc recommends I start taking Metamucil (fiber supplement) >read the instructions >it says take two scoops and mix it in water 225 KB JPG >my dumb ass assumed 1 scoop = 1 cup >grab my big gallon water bottle, put two cups of it in and mix it with water >chug >fast forward five days >haven't shat yet >can feel the baby sized turd growing in me >chug a bunch of coffee to trigger a bowel movement >sit on toilet for three hours as I push a f------ football out of my a------ >feel like l'm getting f----- in the prison showers >it seriously feels like my a------ is being ripped open >keep pushing >relief >s--- was the size of a $5 footlong sub >have to break it down with the plunger to flush it Now I'm considering doing it again cause the feeling it had on my a------ kinda turned me on. Thoughts?

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Burger gone | /r/Greentext

>>848097769 (OP) # >be me >eat burger >burger gone >depressed 28 KB JPG
>>848097769 (OP) # >be me >eat burger >burger gone >depressed 28 KB JPG

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Anon is a winner | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 03/13/16(Sun) 18:50:00 No.135118732 acion layer Nación layer Spoiler Image 108 KB JPG >find out my s----- country has Splatoon tournaments >nice, I'll participa... >the winner of last one got a f------ bunch of oranges >most of them aren't even ripe
E Anonymous 03/13/16(Sun) 18:50:00 No.135118732 acion layer Nación layer Spoiler Image 108 KB JPG >find out my s----- country has Splatoon tournaments >nice, I'll participa... >the winner of last one got a f------ bunch of oranges >most of them aren't even ripe

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Anon is in doubt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)18:39:31 No.848092501 Fellas, I think I have grown some disorder, may have crossed a boundaries or two. >Be me 21yo eendian male >Decent looking, uhh 7.5/10 but gets good compliments from variety of egirls 12 KB JPG >Gets laid whenever I want to in any party but doesn't exploit these qT privileges, use these coochie privileges passes once a month only. March 2020 happens >Deported to home, tier 3 city. Even tinder matches shows femboys or worse dudes with whome by just making eye contact you can feel your ass being penetrated. >been studying and masturbating and doing my bare minimum of socialising during the course of these 12 months. >been more than a year since I have had sex let alone touched a girl other than my mum. Starts to develop a tendency.jpeg >Whenever I see any woman, despite her age colour skin tone, I analyse her naked and sometimes me doing her, and feel little tinch of an erection in my crotch. it doesn't get better >Few days back wished a gay friend of mine happy birthday and him sending me kiss emojis and I imagined him naked on me kissing me, and low-key wasn't felt disgusted by that >what should I o...am I turning gay or am I turning desperate to get laid ? Help : Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)18:44:48 No.848092731 hmmnnn >maybe try boning your mum 62 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)18:39:31 No.848092501 Fellas, I think I have grown some disorder, may have crossed a boundaries or two. >Be me 21yo eendian male >Decent looking, uhh 7.5/10 but gets good compliments from variety of egirls 12 KB JPG >Gets laid whenever I want to in any party but doesn't exploit these qT privileges, use these coochie privileges passes once a month only. March 2020 happens >Deported to home, tier 3 city. Even tinder matches shows femboys or worse dudes with whome by just making eye contact you can feel your ass being penetrated. >been studying and masturbating and doing my bare minimum of socialising during the course of these 12 months. >been more than a year since I have had sex let alone touched a girl other than my mum. Starts to develop a tendency.jpeg >Whenever I see any woman, despite her age colour skin tone, I analyse her naked and sometimes me doing her, and feel little tinch of an erection in my crotch. it doesn't get better >Few days back wished a gay friend of mine happy birthday and him sending me kiss emojis and I imagined him naked on me kissing me, and low-key wasn't felt disgusted by that >what should I o...am I turning gay or am I turning desperate to get laid ? Help : Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)18:44:48 No.848092731 hmmnnn >maybe try boning your mum 62 KB JPG

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Anon likes weed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)02:23:00 No.84805676 >be me but 2 days younger >connoisseur of le weed >don't have a dealer in my circle of friends >because I have no friends lol >need to go to the park >creepy tall dude sells weed that is 253 KB PNG always s--- >"so you got something for me for 30 bucks?" >"if you aren't a cop" Autism.exe >"even if, there would be no way for you to find out anyway" >f------ retard >he pulled out a knife >"I can stab you and if someone with a gun comes out you're a cop" >l f------ ran for my life So how was your weekend?
: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)02:23:00 No.84805676 >be me but 2 days younger >connoisseur of le weed >don't have a dealer in my circle of friends >because I have no friends lol >need to go to the park >creepy tall dude sells weed that is 253 KB PNG always s--- >"so you got something for me for 30 bucks?" >"if you aren't a cop" Autism.exe >"even if, there would be no way for you to find out anyway" >f------ retard >he pulled out a knife >"I can stab you and if someone with a gun comes out you're a cop" >l f------ ran for my life So how was your weekend?

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Anon can't bake | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i have to stop baking when i'm(...) 02/23/21(Tue)06:08:56 No.15640019 >be me >i'm sad i want to bake something to fill the incredible void inside me >out of flour >i can't bake >mfw 1.31 MB JPG
: Anonymous i have to stop baking when i'm(...) 02/23/21(Tue)06:08:56 No.15640019 >be me >i'm sad i want to bake something to fill the incredible void inside me >out of flour >i can't bake >mfw 1.31 MB JPG

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Anon raised a fair point | /r/Greentext

>be me >get told that 4chan is the most toxic and deprived website >go to twitter >see a bunch of 50 KB JPG psychopaths viciously attacking and calling each other nazis and s---, except the ones who are racist towards blacks get banned >go to tumblr >see a bunch of libtards calling each other nazis and s---, but the ones who are racist towards blacks get banned. and p--- >go to reddit >see a bunch of retards calling each other nazis and s--- except the ones who don't suck the moderator's d--- gets banned. and p--- >go to 4chan >see a bunch of autists calling each other f------ and retards, except no one gets banned. and p--- how is 4chan more toxic than any other social media platform?
>be me >get told that 4chan is the most toxic and deprived website >go to twitter >see a bunch of 50 KB JPG psychopaths viciously attacking and calling each other nazis and s---, except the ones who are racist towards blacks get banned >go to tumblr >see a bunch of libtards calling each other nazis and s---, but the ones who are racist towards blacks get banned. and p--- >go to reddit >see a bunch of retards calling each other nazis and s--- except the ones who don't suck the moderator's d--- gets banned. and p--- >go to 4chan >see a bunch of autists calling each other f------ and retards, except no one gets banned. and p--- how is 4chan more toxic than any other social media platform?

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A N O N B E 1 2 V I T A M I N | /r/Greentext

03/03/18(Sat)09:09:13 : Anonymous >be 12 >vitamin B12 Cobalamin 65 KB JPG
03/03/18(Sat)09:09:13 : Anonymous >be 12 >vitamin B12 Cobalamin 65 KB JPG

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Anon is now using opera. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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Anon is a autist | /r/Greentext

File: 1013635_1024986680846362 (..).jpg (17 KB, 317x490) Anonymous 12/07/15(Mon)09:02:48 No.656071789 >be me >need pants >go to zumiez >be wearing blink 182 t shirt >qt3.14 at front of the store >her: "thats a nice ass shirt" >with a straight face whilst wearing my raybans "They're called pants, not an ass shirt" >her "." >MFW i realize i have autism co TO PRILLY TOR TEE CY
File: 1013635_1024986680846362 (..).jpg (17 KB, 317x490) Anonymous 12/07/15(Mon)09:02:48 No.656071789 >be me >need pants >go to zumiez >be wearing blink 182 t shirt >qt3.14 at front of the store >her: "thats a nice ass shirt" >with a straight face whilst wearing my raybans "They're called pants, not an ass shirt" >her "." >MFW i realize i have autism co TO PRILLY TOR TEE CY

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Anon helps Fembot with low self esteem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/21(Mon)16:59:20 No.62450086 >add a fembot to play video games with >she hasblow self esteem and constantly puts herself down >work with her too boost her self esteem >we eventually start dating > she finally becomes confident in herself >breaks up with me Did I just get used as a practice bf? 14 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/22/21(Mon)16:59:20 No.62450086 >add a fembot to play video games with >she hasblow self esteem and constantly puts herself down >work with her too boost her self esteem >we eventually start dating > she finally becomes confident in herself >breaks up with me Did I just get used as a practice bf? 14 KB PNG

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Anon takes a dive | /r/Greentext

>gym class, swimming unit >no school bathing suit, bring your own >buy random generic guy trunks >literally all girls in bikinis >ohdick.exe please don't >does 27 KB JPG >classmates all hot, d--- is diamonds >grab a volleyball or idk some type of ball, hold it over d--- >start to go back to locker room other side of pool >"oh anon, could you put that away on the rack over there" >"n-no" >"what?" >"nothing" head over there, d--- still diamonds >guy walks past me, genius idea pops into my head >pretend he pushed me into pool, do some Fifa level faking >all look over, all assume thats what happened >teachers crazy about pool safety, he argues with them for at least 2 minutes >go under water and kill boner
>gym class, swimming unit >no school bathing suit, bring your own >buy random generic guy trunks >literally all girls in bikinis >ohdick.exe please don't >does 27 KB JPG >classmates all hot, d--- is diamonds >grab a volleyball or idk some type of ball, hold it over d--- >start to go back to locker room other side of pool >"oh anon, could you put that away on the rack over there" >"n-no" >"what?" >"nothing" head over there, d--- still diamonds >guy walks past me, genius idea pops into my head >pretend he pushed me into pool, do some Fifa level faking >all look over, all assume thats what happened >teachers crazy about pool safety, he argues with them for at least 2 minutes >go under water and kill boner

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Anon is taking a shit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/14/20(Wed)11:37:57 No.140706471 D>>140708252 >>140709041 >>14071016 le: 1533297505203.jpg (45 KB, 793x786) >>140705670 (OP) # >Sitting down in an empty public toilet cubicle taking a s--- >Some guy takes the stall next to me >Feel awkward, so I try to break the ice and ask him if he likes movies >He doesn't respond >Start getting nervous, repeat my question but this time louder >He says "not really" >Ask him if he's heard of Drive >He says "No" >Feel kinda mad and hit the wall of the stall that he's on in a fit of rage >Instantly regret it >Say "Sorry" >He doesn't respond >Feel really bad >Hold some money under the stall as a peace offering >He doesn't take it >Tell him to take it >He says no >Feel really freaked out so I wipe, get up and leave >Wait outside the door of the toilet to apologise >See him come out >Say "I just want to apologise" >He says "F--- off"
Anonymous 10/14/20(Wed)11:37:57 No.140706471 D>>140708252 >>140709041 >>14071016 le: 1533297505203.jpg (45 KB, 793x786) >>140705670 (OP) # >Sitting down in an empty public toilet cubicle taking a s--- >Some guy takes the stall next to me >Feel awkward, so I try to break the ice and ask him if he likes movies >He doesn't respond >Start getting nervous, repeat my question but this time louder >He says "not really" >Ask him if he's heard of Drive >He says "No" >Feel kinda mad and hit the wall of the stall that he's on in a fit of rage >Instantly regret it >Say "Sorry" >He doesn't respond >Feel really bad >Hold some money under the stall as a peace offering >He doesn't take it >Tell him to take it >He says no >Feel really freaked out so I wipe, get up and leave >Wait outside the door of the toilet to apologise >See him come out >Say "I just want to apologise" >He says "F--- off"

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Anon missed an opportunity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)15:49:01 No.848082855 >be me >around 2018 in school >14, so everyone is at peak horniness >girl i like says come, we need to talk >i said ok >we go to a dark corner no man 37 KB JPG has been in >i asked why did you drag me out here >she said can i f--- you >didnt know what to do >ran away >go home, dont remember what happened >today, no gf, feeling suicidal >realize what an opportunity i missed mfw
: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)15:49:01 No.848082855 >be me >around 2018 in school >14, so everyone is at peak horniness >girl i like says come, we need to talk >i said ok >we go to a dark corner no man 37 KB JPG has been in >i asked why did you drag me out here >she said can i f--- you >didnt know what to do >ran away >go home, dont remember what happened >today, no gf, feeling suicidal >realize what an opportunity i missed mfw

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