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Restrictor plate | /r/Greentext

File: FAC3BF04-8D0A-476A-A405-C(...).jpg (34 KB, 300x405) O Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)18:50:53 No.60045845 [Reply] I think I've found a way around my 'tism lads. I'm good looking (thanks mum) and ripped (thanks to you) but I would always mess everything up by talking about autistic s--- and going on rants. Now I just don't talk and it f------ works every time, girls are all over it. Example >l'm in a group we're sitting at a nice bar and I really like the concrete terraces they have set up so I stare at them >girls asks "why so quiet anon, what are you looking at" >normally I would respond something autistic like "those balconies, there's something brutalist about them, can you imagine the concrete covered in vines," etc and freak her out >this time I responded "I don't know, I just like the balcony I guess" >and then she was the one that kept the conversation going >kept all responses equally vague and simple >got laid for the third time this month I recommend trying this method out my fellow autismo anons
File: FAC3BF04-8D0A-476A-A405-C(...).jpg (34 KB, 300x405) O Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)18:50:53 No.60045845 [Reply] I think I've found a way around my 'tism lads. I'm good looking (thanks mum) and ripped (thanks to you) but I would always mess everything up by talking about autistic s--- and going on rants. Now I just don't talk and it f------ works every time, girls are all over it. Example >l'm in a group we're sitting at a nice bar and I really like the concrete terraces they have set up so I stare at them >girls asks "why so quiet anon, what are you looking at" >normally I would respond something autistic like "those balconies, there's something brutalist about them, can you imagine the concrete covered in vines," etc and freak her out >this time I responded "I don't know, I just like the balcony I guess" >and then she was the one that kept the conversation going >kept all responses equally vague and simple >got laid for the third time this month I recommend trying this method out my fellow autismo anons

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Anon's mother makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

File: 1598426557588.jpg (115 KB, 412x400) O Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)00:28:52 No.62503027 [Reply] ► >mom found the c-- cockroaches >> Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)00:30:40 No.62503039 ► What in the goddamn..?
File: 1598426557588.jpg (115 KB, 412x400) O Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)00:28:52 No.62503027 [Reply] ► >mom found the c-- cockroaches >> Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)00:30:40 No.62503039 ► What in the goddamn..?

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anon is stupid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/21 (Mon)23:51:50 No.848073272 > be me > use my teeth to open up 9 volt batteries > Permanent brain damage and learning issues Ask me anything /b/. Don't chew open batteries. 65 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/22/21 (Mon)23:51:50 No.848073272 > be me > use my teeth to open up 9 volt batteries > Permanent brain damage and learning issues Ask me anything /b/. Don't chew open batteries. 65 KB JPG

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Anon councred one of his demons. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)16:14:24 No.62494213 >just beat up my high school bully I've never felt better >at home because of 'rona-chan >walking to shops to buy some chicken breast for dinner 55 KB JPG >see bully >back in highschool he was athletic and I was fat, now l'm /fit/ and he's skinny fat >he says "Hey anon, how are you doing" >feel the blood rushing to my head >brain is scrambled with a hundred different thoughts >as I walk up to him I suddenly get the impulse to hit him as hard as I can >do it before I even realised what happens >he's on the floor out cold >spit on him and walk off >mfw eating the chicken breast right now probably going to get a visit from the police any day now but I don't give a f---
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)16:14:24 No.62494213 >just beat up my high school bully I've never felt better >at home because of 'rona-chan >walking to shops to buy some chicken breast for dinner 55 KB JPG >see bully >back in highschool he was athletic and I was fat, now l'm /fit/ and he's skinny fat >he says "Hey anon, how are you doing" >feel the blood rushing to my head >brain is scrambled with a hundred different thoughts >as I walk up to him I suddenly get the impulse to hit him as hard as I can >do it before I even realised what happens >he's on the floor out cold >spit on him and walk off >mfw eating the chicken breast right now probably going to get a visit from the police any day now but I don't give a f---

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Anon is skinny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21 (Thu)16:22:06 No.60043732 >be me >123lbs >6'1 what do? 404 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/25/21 (Thu)16:22:06 No.60043732 >be me >123lbs >6'1 what do? 404 KB PNG

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Anon cums in a facemask | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)03:02:59 No.848318125 >be me >about 15, horny as f--- >regular sunday, beating my meat >c-- >feelsgoodman.png >reach for tissue >don't have any 87 KB JPG >fuckfuckfuck >reach for one of those cloth masks >wipe up my seed. works well enough. >be next day. older sister getting ready for school, needs a mask and can't find it because the last time she used one was before the weekend >give her my c-- mask >she doesn't notice the whole day and gives it back to me when she gets home 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)03:08:07 No.848318370 >>848318125 (OP) # That is how babys are made! You are in big trouble!
: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)03:02:59 No.848318125 >be me >about 15, horny as f--- >regular sunday, beating my meat >c-- >feelsgoodman.png >reach for tissue >don't have any 87 KB JPG >fuckfuckfuck >reach for one of those cloth masks >wipe up my seed. works well enough. >be next day. older sister getting ready for school, needs a mask and can't find it because the last time she used one was before the weekend >give her my c-- mask >she doesn't notice the whole day and gives it back to me when she gets home 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)03:08:07 No.848318370 >>848318125 (OP) # That is how babys are made! You are in big trouble!

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Anon is a boomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)00:28:11 No.848309936 >need muh hot bean water or my whole morning is f----- >need muh rotten grain water to have fun party time >need muh sour grape juice to unwind Do boomers actually? 129 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)00:28:11 No.848309936 >need muh hot bean water or my whole morning is f----- >need muh rotten grain water to have fun party time >need muh sour grape juice to unwind Do boomers actually? 129 KB JPG

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Anon is a coomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)23:56:20 No.62501023 >Be with girl >Can't get hard >J------- an hour later thinking about it >Rock hard What did they mean by this? 17 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)23:56:52 No.62501035 >>62501023 (OP) # Stop jacking off for 3 days and you're good >>62501196 #
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)23:56:20 No.62501023 >Be with girl >Can't get hard >J------- an hour later thinking about it >Rock hard What did they mean by this? 17 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)23:56:52 No.62501035 >>62501023 (OP) # Stop jacking off for 3 days and you're good >>62501196 #

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Anon missing social cues | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 10/27/16(Thu)07:10:15 No.32360229 File: 223211b5a1.png (440 KB, 632x604) >>32360378 >>32360816 Not really cringe, but I have a story from a friend about missing social cues. >Walking around town late at night >Reach a guy sitting on the sidewalk, he asks me for money >"Sorry man, I don't have any money." >"I have a knife." >"Nah, that's okay man, I don't need a knife" >Walk away, don't realize I was getting robbed until later that night
O Anonymous 10/27/16(Thu)07:10:15 No.32360229 File: 223211b5a1.png (440 KB, 632x604) >>32360378 >>32360816 Not really cringe, but I have a story from a friend about missing social cues. >Walking around town late at night >Reach a guy sitting on the sidewalk, he asks me for money >"Sorry man, I don't have any money." >"I have a knife." >"Nah, that's okay man, I don't need a knife" >Walk away, don't realize I was getting robbed until later that night

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Anon has a crush | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)23:27:35 No.848305823 >Crush from work seems to be into me >She makes plans to go drinking with me >She flakes out 3 seperate occasions >She suggests we should work out together >*Day to excersize arrives* >"Oh I worked out with my mom today, 232 KB JPG have fun <3" >On 1 night, she didn't have plans >Asks her out >"but we're so far away :(" >She lives 30 mins away b/ I'm not some smelly fat awkward retard, I'm in shape, and take care of myself... What gives, is she just stringing me along? : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)23:29:05 No.848305927 >>848305823 (OP) # Been there and I think so. She probably talks about you and laughs about you to her friends.
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)23:27:35 No.848305823 >Crush from work seems to be into me >She makes plans to go drinking with me >She flakes out 3 seperate occasions >She suggests we should work out together >*Day to excersize arrives* >"Oh I worked out with my mom today, 232 KB JPG have fun <3" >On 1 night, she didn't have plans >Asks her out >"but we're so far away :(" >She lives 30 mins away b/ I'm not some smelly fat awkward retard, I'm in shape, and take care of myself... What gives, is she just stringing me along? : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)23:29:05 No.848305927 >>848305823 (OP) # Been there and I think so. She probably talks about you and laughs about you to her friends.

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Anon dates a quirky horse girl | /r/Greentext

88O Anonymous (ID: zuqo 00 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun >dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold >crazy bitch is shoving 3 - 4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"
88O Anonymous (ID: zuqo 00 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun >dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold >crazy bitch is shoving 3 - 4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

>be me >bisexual retard >chad always bullies me for being retarded >doesn't know I'm bisexual >chad also said I look like a girl >he said if I had longer hair he'd probably 45 KB JPG f--- me >evilplanhatching.jpeg >buy some hair extensions >make a fake Instagram post pictures of me in bikinis and s--- like that >chad obviously follows the account >start texting with him >eventually it leads to sexting >a few weeks pass > he wants to meet up and f--- >go to place he wants to meet up but before I go I tape c--- and balls to my stomach >when he gets there I say I just wanna do a--- because I don't want to get pregnant >f----- reluctantly agrees >pull my pants down and make sure he only sees my back >gives me the f------ of my life >he and I both c-- buckets >after we finish I reveal myself to him >laugh and call him f----- >f----- doesn't believe what he sees >completely frozen with look of defeat on his face >steal his wallet and car keys >go on a joy ride with his car >crash into pole >leave his wallet but take the cash Feel like I finally beat him. Did I do good /b/ros?
>be me >bisexual retard >chad always bullies me for being retarded >doesn't know I'm bisexual >chad also said I look like a girl >he said if I had longer hair he'd probably 45 KB JPG f--- me >evilplanhatching.jpeg >buy some hair extensions >make a fake Instagram post pictures of me in bikinis and s--- like that >chad obviously follows the account >start texting with him >eventually it leads to sexting >a few weeks pass > he wants to meet up and f--- >go to place he wants to meet up but before I go I tape c--- and balls to my stomach >when he gets there I say I just wanna do a--- because I don't want to get pregnant >f----- reluctantly agrees >pull my pants down and make sure he only sees my back >gives me the f------ of my life >he and I both c-- buckets >after we finish I reveal myself to him >laugh and call him f----- >f----- doesn't believe what he sees >completely frozen with look of defeat on his face >steal his wallet and car keys >go on a joy ride with his car >crash into pole >leave his wallet but take the cash Feel like I finally beat him. Did I do good /b/ros?

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Anon doesn’t like Mac & Cheese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)14:36:54 No.848273469 Help!! My gf wont stop making mac and cheese! How do I get her to stop?? ITA IN 112 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)14:38:06 No.848273539 >>848273469 (OP) # Kill yourself : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)14:39:34 No.848273613 >>848273469 (OP) # Ass f--- her until she passes out
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)14:36:54 No.848273469 Help!! My gf wont stop making mac and cheese! How do I get her to stop?? ITA IN 112 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)14:38:06 No.848273539 >>848273469 (OP) # Kill yourself : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)14:39:34 No.848273613 >>848273469 (OP) # Ass f--- her until she passes out

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Insulin spike | /r/Greentext

File: 7EBAE564-4293-489B-836A-7(...).jpg (10 KB, 217x232) O Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)11:37:08 No.848263576 [Reply] D>848264074 >be me >class clown >everyone thinks I'm funny >four years of making classmates laugh >be jokester and witty with friends and their parents >fast forward to senior year >it's graduation day bitches >think of epic prank >nervous as f--- >name gets called >start walking to get my diploma >say whoops rear loud and start pulling breadsticks from my pockets and dropping them everywhere >literally hundreds of breadsticks >waiting for lol oh classic anon >it never comes >everyone is mad as f--- >dead silence in the auditorium MFW I still work at Olive Garden and whole town hates me.
File: 7EBAE564-4293-489B-836A-7(...).jpg (10 KB, 217x232) O Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)11:37:08 No.848263576 [Reply] D>848264074 >be me >class clown >everyone thinks I'm funny >four years of making classmates laugh >be jokester and witty with friends and their parents >fast forward to senior year >it's graduation day bitches >think of epic prank >nervous as f--- >name gets called >start walking to get my diploma >say whoops rear loud and start pulling breadsticks from my pockets and dropping them everywhere >literally hundreds of breadsticks >waiting for lol oh classic anon >it never comes >everyone is mad as f--- >dead silence in the auditorium MFW I still work at Olive Garden and whole town hates me.

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Anon is a businessman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)17:02:26 No.848292734 a-young-businessman-with-crossed-arms.jpg 852 KB JPG Business talk 101 >cross dress >match with highschool bully on tinder >go out for drinks with him >have sex with him >let him c-- inside your ass >flip over and reveal yourself >call him a f----- for c------ in your ass This concludes our business talk 101
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)17:02:26 No.848292734 a-young-businessman-with-crossed-arms.jpg 852 KB JPG Business talk 101 >cross dress >match with highschool bully on tinder >go out for drinks with him >have sex with him >let him c-- inside your ass >flip over and reveal yourself >call him a f----- for c------ in your ass This concludes our business talk 101

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Anon bates Britain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)02:50:19 No.62211469 >be me >britbong >lose my walking license >need to go the shop for cigarettes >decide to risk it 48 KB JPG >trying to speed walk so I don't get caught >copper legit turns the corner right in front of me >asks why i'm walking so quickly >asks to see my walking license >explain that I've lost it >immediate 200 quid fine >f--- >get to the shop >door only opens using a door license >f--- >l forgot it >beg the guy behind the counter to let me in >he does >get in the queue >luckily I remembered my queuing license >get to the front of the queue >ask for the cigs >he asks for my c-------- license >hand it to him >It's expired >f--- f--- f--- >get fined another 200 quid for swearing without my profanity license I f------ hate this country. 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)02:50:19 No.62211469 >be me >britbong >lose my walking license >need to go the shop for cigarettes >decide to risk it 48 KB JPG >trying to speed walk so I don't get caught >copper legit turns the corner right in front of me >asks why i'm walking so quickly >asks to see my walking license >explain that I've lost it >immediate 200 quid fine >f--- >get to the shop >door only opens using a door license >f--- >l forgot it >beg the guy behind the counter to let me in >he does >get in the queue >luckily I remembered my queuing license >get to the front of the queue >ask for the cigs >he asks for my c-------- license >hand it to him >It's expired >f--- f--- f--- >get fined another 200 quid for swearing without my profanity license I f------ hate this country. 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon is having an autistic son | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)09:53:42 No.46331112 >be dad to 7yo son >find out he's possible in the spectrum >smart >awful in social situations >no coordination when partaking in physical activities >loves roblox and minecraft 38 KB PNG >yesterday he was running around the house singing something >watcha doin son? >im sanic, i gotta go fast dad please look after him when he eventually finds you guys
: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)09:53:42 No.46331112 >be dad to 7yo son >find out he's possible in the spectrum >smart >awful in social situations >no coordination when partaking in physical activities >loves roblox and minecraft 38 KB PNG >yesterday he was running around the house singing something >watcha doin son? >im sanic, i gotta go fast dad please look after him when he eventually finds you guys

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Anon Hires Escort | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)18:46:28 No.844936687 RT, V, +V, m + m, er (m + m)RT P, RT m, RT (m, +m, )RT, P; (m, + m, Tisat Gm, Gm 2 sat Bsat Isat 2sat * – 20 ,y – w u. (x + r2) V(x - T 1601638899698.jpg 180 KB JPG >hire escort >she tells me its $100 for a--- >agree >meet her at her hotel room >pull down pants and start to put on condom >she walks behind me >feel something enter my ass >chickdick.tmp >she c--- >tells me thanks and gives me $100 >mfw
: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)18:46:28 No.844936687 RT, V, +V, m + m, er (m + m)RT P, RT m, RT (m, +m, )RT, P; (m, + m, Tisat Gm, Gm 2 sat Bsat Isat 2sat * – 20 ,y – w u. (x + r2) V(x - T 1601638899698.jpg 180 KB JPG >hire escort >she tells me its $100 for a--- >agree >meet her at her hotel room >pull down pants and start to put on condom >she walks behind me >feel something enter my ass >chickdick.tmp >she c--- >tells me thanks and gives me $100 >mfw

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Anon is scared | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)12:54:16 No.848252153 >be me >med student >have to perform rectal exam to determine if patient s---- blood >forgot to say no h--- after 75 KB PNG oh my god /bl does this mean I'm a f-----?
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)12:54:16 No.848252153 >be me >med student >have to perform rectal exam to determine if patient s---- blood >forgot to say no h--- after 75 KB PNG oh my god /bl does this mean I'm a f-----?

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Bee is Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/19(Sat)22:47:11 No.789817771 >be me >me bee 5 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 01/12/19(Sat)22:47:11 No.789817771 >be me >me bee 5 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread

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