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Anon has schizophrenia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/22/17(Sun)12:06:39 No.40579901 >tfw you're browsing late at night with headphones on and can hear faint chinese whispering >webcam light is on 32 KB PNG
: Anonymous 10/22/17(Sun)12:06:39 No.40579901 >tfw you're browsing late at night with headphones on and can hear faint chinese whispering >webcam light is on 32 KB PNG

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Anon tries to learn Cyrillic alphabet | /r/Greentext

>be me >bored af >decide to learn a new language >f--- politics. But looks like Russia might rule the world soon >decide to learn Russian language >look up Russian alphabet 44 KB PNG >w--.m4a Why does the Russian alphabet look like the English alphabet but written by an autist?
>be me >bored af >decide to learn a new language >f--- politics. But looks like Russia might rule the world soon >decide to learn Russian language >look up Russian alphabet 44 KB PNG >w--.m4a Why does the Russian alphabet look like the English alphabet but written by an autist?

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Anon goes for a walk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/18(Mon)19:42:38 No.44891102 >walk down street >trip >pants touch ground >pants touched my underwear >underwear touched my d--- >ground was touched by woman's shoes 30 KB JPG >woman's shoes touched woman's socks >woman's socks touched woman's feet >basically got a f------ from a girl See you around losers
: Anonymous 04/23/18(Mon)19:42:38 No.44891102 >walk down street >trip >pants touch ground >pants touched my underwear >underwear touched my d--- >ground was touched by woman's shoes 30 KB JPG >woman's shoes touched woman's socks >woman's socks touched woman's feet >basically got a f------ from a girl See you around losers

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Anon has a realization | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)13:57:27 No.44135120 >straight boy >about 5'5 but I don't let it get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at >we have to move a bunch 229 KB PNG of boxes >I pick one up, trip and fall >"don't be such a silly little boy" >instant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean 34 Replies / 5 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)13:57:27 No.44135120 >straight boy >about 5'5 but I don't let it get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at >we have to move a bunch 229 KB PNG of boxes >I pick one up, trip and fall >"don't be such a silly little boy" >instant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean 34 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Anon found the worst place in the internet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)09:09:02 No.849327632 >get in argument with friend about worst places on the internet >I say this bored >he links me this 35 KB JPG https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDati ngStrategy/ and i thought you f------ where spiteful 23 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)09:09:02 No.849327632 >get in argument with friend about worst places on the internet >I say this bored >he links me this 35 KB JPG https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDati ngStrategy/ and i thought you f------ where spiteful 23 Replies View Thread

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Anon meets a farmer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:29:30 No.530995260 ITT: Autistic Mistakes > Be 15 > Go to farm on after- school group's field trip > Want to be funny > Go to farmer 19 KB JPG "You have a nice d---." > MFW meant to say c--- > MFW I realize he grew vegatables > MEW I'm probably retarded Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:38:06 No.530996935 this thread is a good thread
Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:29:30 No.530995260 ITT: Autistic Mistakes > Be 15 > Go to farm on after- school group's field trip > Want to be funny > Go to farmer 19 KB JPG "You have a nice d---." > MFW meant to say c--- > MFW I realize he grew vegatables > MEW I'm probably retarded Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:38:06 No.530996935 this thread is a good thread

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Anon discovers the truth. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)20:03:13 No.849318094 So most condombrands do animal testing right? durex durex >get a new job at trojan Gurex durex >first week was great, get lots of durex condoms for free >not that i use it but they make great balloons for your kids (i have a shitload of 232 KB JPG kids cause i dont use condoms) >next day at work, boss hands me, what he calls "prototyp-condoms" >"so anon, you come from the south right?" >me ready for another joke about i----- ect. says yes >"so you prefer sheeps or goats?" >dont understand, but answer "i am vegan, i wrote that in my application and say that every 15 minutes" >he laughs as we enter the testing lab >mfw its a barn full of animals >"we need you to test these on at least 3 different animals today, have fun anon" >company is in cooperation with victorias secret wich also do animal testing (its true, google it) so all the animals wearing lingerine >find myself a 7/10 turkey, take off my wedding ring and start to work We are still looking for employees in testing so write your application today and become professional sheep-f-----
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)20:03:13 No.849318094 So most condombrands do animal testing right? durex durex >get a new job at trojan Gurex durex >first week was great, get lots of durex condoms for free >not that i use it but they make great balloons for your kids (i have a shitload of 232 KB JPG kids cause i dont use condoms) >next day at work, boss hands me, what he calls "prototyp-condoms" >"so anon, you come from the south right?" >me ready for another joke about i----- ect. says yes >"so you prefer sheeps or goats?" >dont understand, but answer "i am vegan, i wrote that in my application and say that every 15 minutes" >he laughs as we enter the testing lab >mfw its a barn full of animals >"we need you to test these on at least 3 different animals today, have fun anon" >company is in cooperation with victorias secret wich also do animal testing (its true, google it) so all the animals wearing lingerine >find myself a 7/10 turkey, take off my wedding ring and start to work We are still looking for employees in testing so write your application today and become professional sheep-f-----

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Anon spends time with his nephew. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)07:16:00 No.62699465 >be me >sister is having an extra rough day >take my nephew to one of those jump parks just to give her a moment to breath >hes enjoying himself >wants to play dodge ball with the other kids >other kids are 12-14 when he's 7 75 KB PNG >tell him that I won't stop him from having fun but expect no mercy from the older kids >he gets slaughtered >clearly upset >the other kids were clearly targeting him >his entire team gets obliterated >decide enough is enough >walk into doge ball court like big d--- in a locker room >be 25 year old 6'4 fat ass r9k user adult >can throw one of those "balls" with the speed of a meteor compared to the plebeian kids on the other team >re-intact that scene in doge ball where the looser f---- gets really p----- off and murders the entire team solo >jump up on the trampolines so high that when my full fatass weight goes into a throw I knock kids down >kids are flying into the sides of the trampolines after my gorilla throws >nephew thinks its the most badass s--- ever >our team wins >take him out for ice cream after I've not done much with my s----- life but l'll never forget how happy my nephew was to tell my sister that I slam dunked the other children
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)07:16:00 No.62699465 >be me >sister is having an extra rough day >take my nephew to one of those jump parks just to give her a moment to breath >hes enjoying himself >wants to play dodge ball with the other kids >other kids are 12-14 when he's 7 75 KB PNG >tell him that I won't stop him from having fun but expect no mercy from the older kids >he gets slaughtered >clearly upset >the other kids were clearly targeting him >his entire team gets obliterated >decide enough is enough >walk into doge ball court like big d--- in a locker room >be 25 year old 6'4 fat ass r9k user adult >can throw one of those "balls" with the speed of a meteor compared to the plebeian kids on the other team >re-intact that scene in doge ball where the looser f---- gets really p----- off and murders the entire team solo >jump up on the trampolines so high that when my full fatass weight goes into a throw I knock kids down >kids are flying into the sides of the trampolines after my gorilla throws >nephew thinks its the most badass s--- ever >our team wins >take him out for ice cream after I've not done much with my s----- life but l'll never forget how happy my nephew was to tell my sister that I slam dunked the other children

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Anon Needs A Mechanic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)00:26:23 No.62696920 >Be Me >Be living in Hawaii >Have a problem with feral chickens >f------ lived in the avocado tree 2 feet from my window >dumb motherclukcers would make bird 363 KB JPG noises at 2AM >HOA does jack s--- >look up city and county ordinances >Start trapping the little bastards and driving all the way across the island to the humane society to turn them in >One day stuck in H1 traffic like usual, blasting rammstein >Get to humane society, dead chicken in trunk >turns out I have an exhaust leak in my s----- ass car >pic related
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)00:26:23 No.62696920 >Be Me >Be living in Hawaii >Have a problem with feral chickens >f------ lived in the avocado tree 2 feet from my window >dumb motherclukcers would make bird 363 KB JPG noises at 2AM >HOA does jack s--- >look up city and county ordinances >Start trapping the little bastards and driving all the way across the island to the humane society to turn them in >One day stuck in H1 traffic like usual, blasting rammstein >Get to humane society, dead chicken in trunk >turns out I have an exhaust leak in my s----- ass car >pic related

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Anon has a small dick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)00:21:38 No.849303839 >Be me >tiny d--- boi >not micro or anything but barely 4 inches ? >meet girl >we get kinda intimate >she sees my tiny d--- laughs and leaves 106 KB PNG >besadasfuck.wav >find out later she is f------ a girl on the regular >w-- >girlsdontevenhavepps.jpg >be confused Seriously, I mean it sucks I got rejected for having a tiny c--- but I at least get it...but if you need a big d--- why would you f--- someone with no d---?? Why are girls like this?
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)00:21:38 No.849303839 >Be me >tiny d--- boi >not micro or anything but barely 4 inches ? >meet girl >we get kinda intimate >she sees my tiny d--- laughs and leaves 106 KB PNG >besadasfuck.wav >find out later she is f------ a girl on the regular >w-- >girlsdontevenhavepps.jpg >be confused Seriously, I mean it sucks I got rejected for having a tiny c--- but I at least get it...but if you need a big d--- why would you f--- someone with no d---?? Why are girls like this?

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Anon tries cocaine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/18(Mon)08:20:40 No.102656591 45188D7700000578-0-image-a-18_1507291424887[1].jpg 53 KB JPG >Now, Cocaine >get the packet >knife, sharp >cut yes? >look at that color >rustic, simple >now, pound note >roll, tight >now this is my favorite >SNIFFF >f--- me >>102656784 # >>102658699 # >>102658907 # >>102662412 # >>102663687 #
: Anonymous 08/20/18(Mon)08:20:40 No.102656591 45188D7700000578-0-image-a-18_1507291424887[1].jpg 53 KB JPG >Now, Cocaine >get the packet >knife, sharp >cut yes? >look at that color >rustic, simple >now, pound note >roll, tight >now this is my favorite >SNIFFF >f--- me >>102656784 # >>102658699 # >>102658907 # >>102662412 # >>102663687 #

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Anon cracks a nut | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)07:36:08 No.62699610 >ride bicycle to work >see crow sitting on the road next to a walnut >get of bike next to the nut >crack open the nut with my work boot for crow friend >Continue on my way to work >some old hag walking her dog saw the whole thing and 26 KB JPG looked at me as if I just kicked her puppy I hate normies so damm much, just doing one unusual thing and their npc brains are fried.
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)07:36:08 No.62699610 >ride bicycle to work >see crow sitting on the road next to a walnut >get of bike next to the nut >crack open the nut with my work boot for crow friend >Continue on my way to work >some old hag walking her dog saw the whole thing and 26 KB JPG looked at me as if I just kicked her puppy I hate normies so damm much, just doing one unusual thing and their npc brains are fried.

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Anon's Neighbors Cover Up His Smell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Y3LRHGT6) 03/10/21(Wed)09:29:32 No.12299397 >next door neighbors are constantly running their clothes dryer >such that any time I open my windows my house is flooded with the scent of laundry exhaust >doesn't matter the time of day, or night, their dryer is running 507 KB PNG >endlessly >putting out a stream of scent that permeates my whole house what the f---
: Anonymous (ID: Y3LRHGT6) 03/10/21(Wed)09:29:32 No.12299397 >next door neighbors are constantly running their clothes dryer >such that any time I open my windows my house is flooded with the scent of laundry exhaust >doesn't matter the time of day, or night, their dryer is running 507 KB PNG >endlessly >putting out a stream of scent that permeates my whole house what the f---

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Anon lives in new york | /r/Greentext


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Anon has tard brother | /r/Greentext


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Anxiety go brrrrr | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a dirty cheater | /r/Greentext


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Anon likes cola | /r/Greentext


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Anon on bill clinton being 1st black president | /r/Greentext


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Anon turns a blessing into a curse | /r/Greentext


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