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Anon smokes weed | /r/Greentext


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AIDs LARP results in mega lulz | /r/Greentext


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Anon calls us out | /r/Greentext


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Anon can’t find the sauce | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)17:14:49 No.849355834 >Be me. >J------- with family computer. >C------. >Can't find the rope. >Look on carpet, under desk, all round. >Pearls are missing. >Where are they? 59 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)17:14:49 No.849355834 >Be me. >J------- with family computer. >C------. >Can't find the rope. >Look on carpet, under desk, all round. >Pearls are missing. >Where are they? 59 KB JPG

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Anon gets singled out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)02:51:22 No.62712488 >in med school >professors keep saying the key to success is being likeable so most of you guys will do fine >though there's always a few weird kids that will struggle >sometimes they don't make it he's talking about me bros. i can f------ 37 KB PNG feel it and it stings
: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)02:51:22 No.62712488 >in med school >professors keep saying the key to success is being likeable so most of you guys will do fine >though there's always a few weird kids that will struggle >sometimes they don't make it he's talking about me bros. i can f------ 37 KB PNG feel it and it stings

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Anon finds a body | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)12:30:41 No.8494026 >find dead Body at trainstation Later virgins 4 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)12:30:41 No.8494026 >find dead Body at trainstation Later virgins 4 KB JPG

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Femanon BTFO | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)09:54:45 No.776769563 >be me 24yo female >virgin and actually friendless >been working the same job for 2 years and not have a single friend at work >dude that has been working with me for a year and has never 165 KB JPG acknowledged me, randomly asks me out >desperate so I say yes >had sex cuz I really wanted to loose my virginity >missed period >got pregnant >gave birth a month ago >he quit the job we shared and blocked my number haven't seen him since the birth of our son
: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)09:54:45 No.776769563 >be me 24yo female >virgin and actually friendless >been working the same job for 2 years and not have a single friend at work >dude that has been working with me for a year and has never 165 KB JPG acknowledged me, randomly asks me out >desperate so I say yes >had sex cuz I really wanted to loose my virginity >missed period >got pregnant >gave birth a month ago >he quit the job we shared and blocked my number haven't seen him since the birth of our son

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Anon orders a swimming pool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)20:05:58 No.849344230 >Order swimming pool off Amazon for my Terrapins >1 Day later >Parcel is in front porch not handed to anyone >ldea 42 KB JPG >Tell Amazon parcel didnt turn up >Get refund >The world is my game
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)20:05:58 No.849344230 >Order swimming pool off Amazon for my Terrapins >1 Day later >Parcel is in front porch not handed to anyone >ldea 42 KB JPG >Tell Amazon parcel didnt turn up >Get refund >The world is my game

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Anon is lucky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)11:02:08 No.849398841 >be me, 19, depressed drug phase >parents have money >high 24/7, lonely, want to die >meet a 11/10 goth girl who also does drugs >instant fall in love 55 KB JPG >she has a boyfriend >end up having a party at my place with her friends >they leave, we have sex, best sex ever >says she loves me >ask her to leave her boyfriend for me >"i cant yet i will one day i promise" >too fried too care, fall in love with her >we end up going to my place to do drugs and f--- every week for months >i buy her a lot of gifts >doesnt let me kiss her or hold her hand when were outside >whatever >f--- without protection all the time >lets me f--- her in her ass too >does whatever i ask, freaky af >my sex life can not be better >her bf finds out about her cheating >she gets mad, says she is scared of her boyfriend beating her up >im heartbroken, make myself stop talking to her >1 year later, im clean of all drugs >no longer have fried brain, can think >she f----- me without protection all the time, talked about how bad she wants me to c-- in her >she literally wanted me to get her pregenant because she saw i have money and she was poor >f--- i was lucky
: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)11:02:08 No.849398841 >be me, 19, depressed drug phase >parents have money >high 24/7, lonely, want to die >meet a 11/10 goth girl who also does drugs >instant fall in love 55 KB JPG >she has a boyfriend >end up having a party at my place with her friends >they leave, we have sex, best sex ever >says she loves me >ask her to leave her boyfriend for me >"i cant yet i will one day i promise" >too fried too care, fall in love with her >we end up going to my place to do drugs and f--- every week for months >i buy her a lot of gifts >doesnt let me kiss her or hold her hand when were outside >whatever >f--- without protection all the time >lets me f--- her in her ass too >does whatever i ask, freaky af >my sex life can not be better >her bf finds out about her cheating >she gets mad, says she is scared of her boyfriend beating her up >im heartbroken, make myself stop talking to her >1 year later, im clean of all drugs >no longer have fried brain, can think >she f----- me without protection all the time, talked about how bad she wants me to c-- in her >she literally wanted me to get her pregenant because she saw i have money and she was poor >f--- i was lucky

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Anon is here | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 849395469 2 órával ezelőtt •.. >be me >go to r/trans >post pic of biological girls i found from instagram >get around 50-300 updoots and many comments per post >troons saying how hot and good looking i 832,4 kB JPG am >"omfg i would give my soul to look so feminine" >at least one t----- is looking at my posts and thinking of offing himself >do this on regular basis how are you fighting the good fight anon? pic related 20 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 849395515 2 órával ezelőtt >>849395469 (OP) >pretending to be a girl on reddit youre just like them anon
Anonymous | 849395469 2 órával ezelőtt •.. >be me >go to r/trans >post pic of biological girls i found from instagram >get around 50-300 updoots and many comments per post >troons saying how hot and good looking i 832,4 kB JPG am >"omfg i would give my soul to look so feminine" >at least one t----- is looking at my posts and thinking of offing himself >do this on regular basis how are you fighting the good fight anon? pic related 20 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 849395515 2 órával ezelőtt >>849395469 (OP) >pretending to be a girl on reddit youre just like them anon

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It’s simple, we kill the Batman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)20:28:00 No.849400058 > be me > family starving > decide to commit crime > batman shows up > breaks my leg, both arms and spine > says he doesn't kill and leaves me with the pain 14 KB JPG > hospital bill I can't pay > mfw I have to commit crime to pay hospital bill now
: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)20:28:00 No.849400058 > be me > family starving > decide to commit crime > batman shows up > breaks my leg, both arms and spine > says he doesn't kill and leaves me with the pain 14 KB JPG > hospital bill I can't pay > mfw I have to commit crime to pay hospital bill now

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Anon shoots his web | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/18/18(Mon)18:23:03 No.46191575 >finally tell mom im a superhero >bitch doesnt believe me >shoot my web on her >grounded >mfw 9 KB PNG
Anonymous 06/18/18(Mon)18:23:03 No.46191575 >finally tell mom im a superhero >bitch doesnt believe me >shoot my web on her >grounded >mfw 9 KB PNG

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Anon Makes A Friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)09:37:28 No.62701136 >add a friend in a game because i have feeling to make a connection >they ask me to play the game with them every single day 5 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)09:37:28 No.62701136 >add a friend in a game because i have feeling to make a connection >they ask me to play the game with them every single day 5 KB JPG

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Anon having a good time with their grandpa. | /r/Greentext

>>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ 101 KB JPG that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me
>>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ 101 KB JPG that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me

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Anon gets minecraft | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)19:44:07 No.438217109 >decide to reinstall minecraft >see an annoying twelve year old >grief his house >he's begging me to stop >kill him and take all of his s--- 37 KB JPG >go home and play minecraft : Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)19:47:40 No.438217460 >>438217109 (OP) # 10/10
: Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)19:44:07 No.438217109 >decide to reinstall minecraft >see an annoying twelve year old >grief his house >he's begging me to stop >kill him and take all of his s--- 37 KB JPG >go home and play minecraft : Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)19:47:40 No.438217460 >>438217109 (OP) # 10/10

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Anon makes some phone calls | /r/Greentext

DIGIORNO Anonymous No.650085789 1 hour ago >be me sitting in top floor apartment looking strait down a block of houses. >Order pizza online from every pizza place around for every house on the block >like 20 + pizza places, 20 ish houses, multiple orders to the same house from different pizza places >First one arrives, I watch him talking and arguing with the home owner. >Within 5 minutes about 15 pizza guys are there, >They are all running between houses, trying to sort out orders. >Police show up >Start to corral the pizza drivers >More pizza drivers show up >Home owners are shouting like crazy >Police are shouting >Pizza guys are shouting >I watch out the window while eating DiGiornos The night of a thousand pizzas. 4 replies
DIGIORNO Anonymous No.650085789 1 hour ago >be me sitting in top floor apartment looking strait down a block of houses. >Order pizza online from every pizza place around for every house on the block >like 20 + pizza places, 20 ish houses, multiple orders to the same house from different pizza places >First one arrives, I watch him talking and arguing with the home owner. >Within 5 minutes about 15 pizza guys are there, >They are all running between houses, trying to sort out orders. >Police show up >Start to corral the pizza drivers >More pizza drivers show up >Home owners are shouting like crazy >Police are shouting >Pizza guys are shouting >I watch out the window while eating DiGiornos The night of a thousand pizzas. 4 replies

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Anon is an athlete | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)16:41:08 No.849353528 >Be Me >At gym tanned thottie keeps staring at me jogging in my dad shorts >Boner bulging >C-- down pants leg on to 435 KB JPG treadmill slipandfall.wav >Covered in road rash and coom
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)16:41:08 No.849353528 >Be Me >At gym tanned thottie keeps staring at me jogging in my dad shorts >Boner bulging >C-- down pants leg on to 435 KB JPG treadmill slipandfall.wav >Covered in road rash and coom

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Anons autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)19:19:27 No.62708244 >be me, 17 year old sperg in hs >french class >have a friend who sits behind me and Bruh zone Bruh Bruh to the left >stacy-ish girl sits directly behind me >one day turn around to talk to him and say 170 KB PNG >What's up bitch >girl behind me thought I was talking to her and is giggling like she liked it >look at her for a second and ignore >keep talking to my friend damn I missed my big chance right there 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)19:19:27 No.62708244 >be me, 17 year old sperg in hs >french class >have a friend who sits behind me and Bruh zone Bruh Bruh to the left >stacy-ish girl sits directly behind me >one day turn around to talk to him and say 170 KB PNG >What's up bitch >girl behind me thought I was talking to her and is giggling like she liked it >look at her for a second and ignore >keep talking to my friend damn I missed my big chance right there 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon lives in the Marvel Universe | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)03:24:07 No.849314102 v >be me >live in New York >wake up for work >pour bowl of Mighty Magneto Marshmallows >turn on news >"Bruce Banner stops 2 bank robbers this morning" >"Leaving 89 dead, 52 injured" >walk out to car >see Dr Strange fighting some monks on the side of my apartment >spend next half hour walking down the same never ending staircase to my car >get stuck in traffic, already late for work >turn on radio >"Iron Man seen fighting Thanos just south of downtown near HW 86" >"Traffic report indicates 200 car pile up, hundreds dead" >spend next 3 hours going 2 mph listening to the death toll rise >make it to work at lunch >be berated by my boss for coming in late >explain Iron man and Thanos were throwing cars like snowballs at each other on the highway >tells me I should plan better for this type of stuff >alien space ships appear in the sky out of nowhere >Thor comes tumbling down from the heavens >Lightning strikes all across Manhattan, blowing up every transformer in a 100 mile radius >thousands of civilians are turned to charcoal instantly >crashes through an entire spaceship and into lower Manhattan >8 city blocks are turned to dust upon impact. >boss says I can go home early >head out to parking garage >walk out just in time to see Spiderman yeet my car across the city to hit the Statue of Liberty's head clean off >start walking home >hear someone coming up behind me >Captain America runs into me at full sprint, screaming "On your left!" >90% of my bones and organs are destroyed on impact >spend rest of life as vegetable lying in hospital bed >wife can't stand to see me like this >reaches out to organization in hopes they can help me >wife comes into hospital room >"Hey, anon, I reached out to a group that helps peoples lives that have fallen on hard times" >no... >"They also invited some people to come visit you in hopes that you will feel better" >hear multiple footsteps coming down the hallway >dear god no >Iron Mans head smashes through the wall >". AVENGERS. !"
O Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)03:24:07 No.849314102 v >be me >live in New York >wake up for work >pour bowl of Mighty Magneto Marshmallows >turn on news >"Bruce Banner stops 2 bank robbers this morning" >"Leaving 89 dead, 52 injured" >walk out to car >see Dr Strange fighting some monks on the side of my apartment >spend next half hour walking down the same never ending staircase to my car >get stuck in traffic, already late for work >turn on radio >"Iron Man seen fighting Thanos just south of downtown near HW 86" >"Traffic report indicates 200 car pile up, hundreds dead" >spend next 3 hours going 2 mph listening to the death toll rise >make it to work at lunch >be berated by my boss for coming in late >explain Iron man and Thanos were throwing cars like snowballs at each other on the highway >tells me I should plan better for this type of stuff >alien space ships appear in the sky out of nowhere >Thor comes tumbling down from the heavens >Lightning strikes all across Manhattan, blowing up every transformer in a 100 mile radius >thousands of civilians are turned to charcoal instantly >crashes through an entire spaceship and into lower Manhattan >8 city blocks are turned to dust upon impact. >boss says I can go home early >head out to parking garage >walk out just in time to see Spiderman yeet my car across the city to hit the Statue of Liberty's head clean off >start walking home >hear someone coming up behind me >Captain America runs into me at full sprint, screaming "On your left!" >90% of my bones and organs are destroyed on impact >spend rest of life as vegetable lying in hospital bed >wife can't stand to see me like this >reaches out to organization in hopes they can help me >wife comes into hospital room >"Hey, anon, I reached out to a group that helps peoples lives that have fallen on hard times" >no... >"They also invited some people to come visit you in hopes that you will feel better" >hear multiple footsteps coming down the hallway >dear god no >Iron Mans head smashes through the wall >". AVENGERS. !"

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Anon is racist. | /r/Greentext

>be me >be black >be at super bowl party last night >telling someone a story about a story from work about some crazy guy calling me n----- >some white girl I'm not even talking to flinches and has a disgusted look on her face and says "please don't 23 KB JPG use that word" >l say "what word? N-----?" >she then says "you're making everyone here really uncomfortable by using that word" >l tell her l'm the only black person here and I'm telling a story >she say "IDC I don't like when people use that word around me" >her three beta orbiters then walk over
>be me >be black >be at super bowl party last night >telling someone a story about a story from work about some crazy guy calling me n----- >some white girl I'm not even talking to flinches and has a disgusted look on her face and says "please don't 23 KB JPG use that word" >l say "what word? N-----?" >she then says "you're making everyone here really uncomfortable by using that word" >l tell her l'm the only black person here and I'm telling a story >she say "IDC I don't like when people use that word around me" >her three beta orbiters then walk over

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