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Anon is sad. I'm sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/17(Thu)23:08:41 No.738807804 >be me >riding my motorcycle >get hit by a car >damn it hurts but I walk it off >the girl that hit me is hammered >call 911 because she has a 60 KB JPG massive gash on her head >she's off to the ambulance >after the crash we get to know each other >she's tall, blonde and cute >we begin to date after 6 months of talking >3 years later >got married and my wife just got pregnant. We have a house on the bottom of a beautiful hill >reminds me of Bliss >kek >1 year later >my 3 month old son is growing so fast. >drive him to the doctor's office for a checkup >turn left >a car heading towards me >l swerve out of the way holding my son >l wake up in a hospital >I had gotten into a motorcycle crash 3 weeks ago >but wasn't In a car? >been in a coma the whole time >l ask what happened to the driver >she died I want my family back.
: Anonymous 07/13/17(Thu)23:08:41 No.738807804 >be me >riding my motorcycle >get hit by a car >damn it hurts but I walk it off >the girl that hit me is hammered >call 911 because she has a 60 KB JPG massive gash on her head >she's off to the ambulance >after the crash we get to know each other >she's tall, blonde and cute >we begin to date after 6 months of talking >3 years later >got married and my wife just got pregnant. We have a house on the bottom of a beautiful hill >reminds me of Bliss >kek >1 year later >my 3 month old son is growing so fast. >drive him to the doctor's office for a checkup >turn left >a car heading towards me >l swerve out of the way holding my son >l wake up in a hospital >I had gotten into a motorcycle crash 3 weeks ago >but wasn't In a car? >been in a coma the whole time >l ask what happened to the driver >she died I want my family back.

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Anon has a fren | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/19(Wed)15:59:52 No.805441893 >be me 25 >basicslly no friends irl no one cares for me >parents ignore me because i grew up to become a failure >work as car mechanic 245 KB JPG >been smoking weed for 9 years daily >order my stuff from a guy who ive known from school >he basically has anything Weed, speed, Mdma, even heroin or Crocodile and some s--- > works like this i have 2 letterboxes infront of my house >one for usual mail one for him >he has a key i have one i put money inside text him what i want he takes money and leaves the weed > never disapointed me > decide to end my lofe because its s--- no love no friends no family only weed vidya car repairs and me > text him i want heroin about 1 gram > come home from work next day open "drug letterbox" > find a Blunt and a note Note reads:"Hey anon, come around sometime im always home after 7pm" and an adress in my city written on Friday 7:30 pm >go to adress >ring doorbell >dealer opens door >a burst off weed smell hits me in the face with the force of a thousand raging gods >we go inside >sit on couch >he asks why i want the H >tell him i wanted to od >we sit there for 4 hours tslking and smoking >he tells me i can come around whenever i want >calls me a friend >even gives me discount on weed if i promise him not to order anything else >promise him >mfw someone cared for me >MFW someone called me friend for the first time in years Thanks dealer fren
: Anonymous 07/24/19(Wed)15:59:52 No.805441893 >be me 25 >basicslly no friends irl no one cares for me >parents ignore me because i grew up to become a failure >work as car mechanic 245 KB JPG >been smoking weed for 9 years daily >order my stuff from a guy who ive known from school >he basically has anything Weed, speed, Mdma, even heroin or Crocodile and some s--- > works like this i have 2 letterboxes infront of my house >one for usual mail one for him >he has a key i have one i put money inside text him what i want he takes money and leaves the weed > never disapointed me > decide to end my lofe because its s--- no love no friends no family only weed vidya car repairs and me > text him i want heroin about 1 gram > come home from work next day open "drug letterbox" > find a Blunt and a note Note reads:"Hey anon, come around sometime im always home after 7pm" and an adress in my city written on Friday 7:30 pm >go to adress >ring doorbell >dealer opens door >a burst off weed smell hits me in the face with the force of a thousand raging gods >we go inside >sit on couch >he asks why i want the H >tell him i wanted to od >we sit there for 4 hours tslking and smoking >he tells me i can come around whenever i want >calls me a friend >even gives me discount on weed if i promise him not to order anything else >promise him >mfw someone cared for me >MFW someone called me friend for the first time in years Thanks dealer fren

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Anon's first post | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)21:10:00 No.847744971 >be me >decide to finally make a post on 4chan after years of lurking >nobody responds >keep waiting >keep waiting >keep waiting 70 KB JPG >the only person who responds calls me a f----- >post dies >even in a website full of losers I'm a bigger one then all of them >mfw : Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)21:10:55 No.847745022 f-----
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)21:10:00 No.847744971 >be me >decide to finally make a post on 4chan after years of lurking >nobody responds >keep waiting >keep waiting >keep waiting 70 KB JPG >the only person who responds calls me a f----- >post dies >even in a website full of losers I'm a bigger one then all of them >mfw : Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)21:10:55 No.847745022 f-----

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High Pains Drifter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:09:58 No.62753517 >really bad pain in back and chest above heart >think I'm having a heart attack >let out huge fart >it's gone how THE F--- does gas give me 32 KB JPG pain in my upper chest?
: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:09:58 No.62753517 >really bad pain in back and chest above heart >think I'm having a heart attack >let out huge fart >it's gone how THE F--- does gas give me 32 KB JPG pain in my upper chest?

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Parrots aren’t real | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)13:26:13 No.849599360 31C40665-E7C9-46C3-8EF2-F7CCB1CC1631.jpg 729 KB JPG >Got into an argument today with some jackass >he kept insisting that pareots are real >l told him that parrits are not real and were just made up by Hollywood in order to make pirate movies more interesting >he got really defensive and started making cringe arguments in defense of pairots >punched him in this stupid face and left the Safeway I was shopping in >imagine believing that there's such a thing as a talking bird
: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)13:26:13 No.849599360 31C40665-E7C9-46C3-8EF2-F7CCB1CC1631.jpg 729 KB JPG >Got into an argument today with some jackass >he kept insisting that pareots are real >l told him that parrits are not real and were just made up by Hollywood in order to make pirate movies more interesting >he got really defensive and started making cringe arguments in defense of pairots >punched him in this stupid face and left the Safeway I was shopping in >imagine believing that there's such a thing as a talking bird

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Anon is Turkish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/18/20(Wed)09:42:48 No.840348913 >be me >one chance at life >turkish 30 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/18/20(Wed)09:42:48 No.840348913 >be me >one chance at life >turkish 30 KB JPG

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Anon plays truth or dare | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)22:27:47 No.849603433 >be me >18 >on a school trip >staying in a hotel for 3 days >play truth or dare with my whole class in a room 8 KB JPG >get drunk >a guy dares me to take my pants off in front of everyone >i do it >we all go to sleep >a qt girl sneaks up to my bed >"wow anon i would have never guessed you have such a big d---" >"hheh t-thank you becky, i guess i do" >"can i maybe see it again?" >"we arent playing truth or dare anymore becky, youre drunk. Go to sleep" >she leaves >wake up sober tommorow and realize what i did >mfw
: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)22:27:47 No.849603433 >be me >18 >on a school trip >staying in a hotel for 3 days >play truth or dare with my whole class in a room 8 KB JPG >get drunk >a guy dares me to take my pants off in front of everyone >i do it >we all go to sleep >a qt girl sneaks up to my bed >"wow anon i would have never guessed you have such a big d---" >"hheh t-thank you becky, i guess i do" >"can i maybe see it again?" >"we arent playing truth or dare anymore becky, youre drunk. Go to sleep" >she leaves >wake up sober tommorow and realize what i did >mfw

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Anon sleeps | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)22:39:46 No.849604187 >be me >i have to put a different object under my pillow every night or i cant fall asleep >used every single object in my house 61 KB JPG >cant sleep for 3 days >its my birthday >mom buys me a gift >i can sleep now >i love you mom
: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)22:39:46 No.849604187 >be me >i have to put a different object under my pillow every night or i cant fall asleep >used every single object in my house 61 KB JPG >cant sleep for 3 days >its my birthday >mom buys me a gift >i can sleep now >i love you mom

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Anon talks about growing up russian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/14/19(Thu)00:52:27 No.51441855 > »51441927 >51441933 File: 1489810847089.jpg (40 KB, 533x600) >>51441489 >Talk about what it was like growing up where you grew up >be kid in russia, late 90s-early 2000s >needles lying all over kindergarden's playground, parents warmed me not to play with them. Other kids liked to step on them and crush them (hope they didn't get f------ aids) >making firearms and weak bombs out of anything we could find >used to fight with homeless people with wooden sticks >smoking in school, sometimes right in front of the teacher just for a joke >pour vodka in pepsi bottles and bring them to school and get wasted >inhaling gas from lighters to get high >stealing s--- from shops with the whole class just for fun >fight with chairs and throw them at each other during a craftsmanship class >in a physical education class steal gym mats and build forts out of them >knock out the gym door of it's hinges and put a mat there >we had history classes in a conference-like room with a long rectangular table in the middle >me and my friends sat at the opposite side from the teacher, watched p--- on our phones and masturbated >masturbate literally in every class man I had a great childhood
Anonymous 03/14/19(Thu)00:52:27 No.51441855 > »51441927 >51441933 File: 1489810847089.jpg (40 KB, 533x600) >>51441489 >Talk about what it was like growing up where you grew up >be kid in russia, late 90s-early 2000s >needles lying all over kindergarden's playground, parents warmed me not to play with them. Other kids liked to step on them and crush them (hope they didn't get f------ aids) >making firearms and weak bombs out of anything we could find >used to fight with homeless people with wooden sticks >smoking in school, sometimes right in front of the teacher just for a joke >pour vodka in pepsi bottles and bring them to school and get wasted >inhaling gas from lighters to get high >stealing s--- from shops with the whole class just for fun >fight with chairs and throw them at each other during a craftsmanship class >in a physical education class steal gym mats and build forts out of them >knock out the gym door of it's hinges and put a mat there >we had history classes in a conference-like room with a long rectangular table in the middle >me and my friends sat at the opposite side from the teacher, watched p--- on our phones and masturbated >masturbate literally in every class man I had a great childhood

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A girl flirts with anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)19:54:57 No.849593425 >be me 5 yrs ago >go to high school >a 6/10 but hot af girl from class likes me >openly flirts with me >too autistic to do anything about it >she has a panic attack one day 624 KB JPG >her panic attacks become frequent >nobody knows she has them >scratches her arms with nails to the point of wounds when she has them >starts coming to school with wrapped arms >tells everyone she fell from a skateboards >opens up to me about her panic attacks >"d-d-do they give you uhh some pills for that" >she says she gets xanax >steal all of her xanax >pop the xanax to forget that im autistic and cant tell her that i like her back >she stops flirting with me
: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)19:54:57 No.849593425 >be me 5 yrs ago >go to high school >a 6/10 but hot af girl from class likes me >openly flirts with me >too autistic to do anything about it >she has a panic attack one day 624 KB JPG >her panic attacks become frequent >nobody knows she has them >scratches her arms with nails to the point of wounds when she has them >starts coming to school with wrapped arms >tells everyone she fell from a skateboards >opens up to me about her panic attacks >"d-d-do they give you uhh some pills for that" >she says she gets xanax >steal all of her xanax >pop the xanax to forget that im autistic and cant tell her that i like her back >she stops flirting with me

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Anon buys meth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:33:44 No.849599865 >be me 2 years ago >heavy addiction problem >buying meth >meth plug cooks his own meth and is constantly on it >always meet in a dark alley on friday at 11pm >he walks up to me but doesnt look me in the eyes >doesnt recognize me and begins saying random 15 KB JPG words >i knew the guy for 3 years and didnt see him sober once >well f--- he finally lost it >"WHO ARE YOU WHERE ARE WE" >"im uh.. Anon here for the pickup" >"DONT LIE TO ME GIVE ME YOUR PHONE POLICEMAN" >i turn around and start walking away >"i wouldnt do that if i were you" >the guy pulls a f------ gun >what is happening >"GIVE ME YOUR PHONE POLICEMAN" >i give him my phone and ask to leave >asks me to unlock it >i unlock it, he then takes his phone, opens settings on my phone, and takes a picture of my settings with his phone >"YOU THINK I NEED YOUR PHONE F--- YOUR PHONE" >throws my phone on the ground >protective glass breaks in pieces >thinks he broke my phone >"pick your broken phone up p----" >i pick my phone up and run away >spend 30 dollars on a new protective glass and never do meth again in my life >thank you fried meth dealer
: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:33:44 No.849599865 >be me 2 years ago >heavy addiction problem >buying meth >meth plug cooks his own meth and is constantly on it >always meet in a dark alley on friday at 11pm >he walks up to me but doesnt look me in the eyes >doesnt recognize me and begins saying random 15 KB JPG words >i knew the guy for 3 years and didnt see him sober once >well f--- he finally lost it >"WHO ARE YOU WHERE ARE WE" >"im uh.. Anon here for the pickup" >"DONT LIE TO ME GIVE ME YOUR PHONE POLICEMAN" >i turn around and start walking away >"i wouldnt do that if i were you" >the guy pulls a f------ gun >what is happening >"GIVE ME YOUR PHONE POLICEMAN" >i give him my phone and ask to leave >asks me to unlock it >i unlock it, he then takes his phone, opens settings on my phone, and takes a picture of my settings with his phone >"YOU THINK I NEED YOUR PHONE F--- YOUR PHONE" >throws my phone on the ground >protective glass breaks in pieces >thinks he broke my phone >"pick your broken phone up p----" >i pick my phone up and run away >spend 30 dollars on a new protective glass and never do meth again in my life >thank you fried meth dealer

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Anon plays Roblox | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)11:41:47 No.849592704 >be me >search up username, find old roblox account >nostalgia.wav >log on to see what changed >play some gta prison ripoff or 22 KB JPG some s--- >bots spamming sites >children saying “kid" and tbagging >players dressed as bags of takis what the f---?????????
: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)11:41:47 No.849592704 >be me >search up username, find old roblox account >nostalgia.wav >log on to see what changed >play some gta prison ripoff or 22 KB JPG some s--- >bots spamming sites >children saying “kid" and tbagging >players dressed as bags of takis what the f---?????????

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Anon discoveres the internet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)20:39:58 No.849596244 >be me, 13 >autistic loser, never had a friend >nobody talks to me >just started playing World of Warcraft >wow this game is amazing >meet a female night elf player 1.57 MB PNG >characters name is "Nightya" >female night elf model is hot af >we become friends >start playing together often >my first friend >never asked the player if she was a girl in real life, assumed she was because she played a female character >start to fall in love >im 13 and in love with pixels controlled by a human i never met >the best part of my day becomes when Nightya logs on and we talk >i start to fantasize about living with her >my first love >she tells me that she is cleaning her friend list one day an will remove me >i literally start sobbing and shaking >tell her that im crying and that i need her in my life >she is shocked and tells me to get on a skype call >Nightya is actually a 30 something year old guy >block eachother >never be happy for the next year
: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)20:39:58 No.849596244 >be me, 13 >autistic loser, never had a friend >nobody talks to me >just started playing World of Warcraft >wow this game is amazing >meet a female night elf player 1.57 MB PNG >characters name is "Nightya" >female night elf model is hot af >we become friends >start playing together often >my first friend >never asked the player if she was a girl in real life, assumed she was because she played a female character >start to fall in love >im 13 and in love with pixels controlled by a human i never met >the best part of my day becomes when Nightya logs on and we talk >i start to fantasize about living with her >my first love >she tells me that she is cleaning her friend list one day an will remove me >i literally start sobbing and shaking >tell her that im crying and that i need her in my life >she is shocked and tells me to get on a skype call >Nightya is actually a 30 something year old guy >block eachother >never be happy for the next year

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Anon's dad has autism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:25:35 No.849599313 >Dad left when I was 12yo >l'm now 36yo >Calls me every 3 months or so to ask if I want fish >lf I say yes he drops by and gives me a frozen fish I think my dad has autism. 200 13 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:25:35 No.849599313 >Dad left when I was 12yo >l'm now 36yo >Calls me every 3 months or so to ask if I want fish >lf I say yes he drops by and gives me a frozen fish I think my dad has autism. 200 13 KB JPG

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Anon doesn't believe in microwave | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)12:04:48 No.849177823 >no fire >spinning plate (???) 107 KB JPG >hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm >beep beep beep beep >food is hot just imagine believing in microwave 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)12:04:48 No.849177823 >no fire >spinning plate (???) 107 KB JPG >hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm >beep beep beep beep >food is hot just imagine believing in microwave 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon's mom get beaned | /r/Greentext

File: 284.png (357 KB, 600x840) Uh oh! You friccin O Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)13:45:14 No.771509716 moron. You just got BEANED! >Be me >14 >My mom is super scared about what I have on my phone >Download one of those calculator apps that hide images behind a code >One day she was going through my phone >She bursts into my room, phone in hand >"Anon! What is this?" >Tell her it's just a calculator app >I'm freaking out on the inside >She says she knows what it is >O_Shit.jpg >"OPEN IT NOW ANON!" >Start freaking out >Say no >She threatens to take away everything I have for a year >Unlock calculator Tag your friends to totally BEAN! them! >She looks at screen >Theres only one image >She opens it >lt's literally just the stupid beaned picture >Mom looks at me >"What the f--- anon?"
File: 284.png (357 KB, 600x840) Uh oh! You friccin O Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)13:45:14 No.771509716 moron. You just got BEANED! >Be me >14 >My mom is super scared about what I have on my phone >Download one of those calculator apps that hide images behind a code >One day she was going through my phone >She bursts into my room, phone in hand >"Anon! What is this?" >Tell her it's just a calculator app >I'm freaking out on the inside >She says she knows what it is >O_Shit.jpg >"OPEN IT NOW ANON!" >Start freaking out >Say no >She threatens to take away everything I have for a year >Unlock calculator Tag your friends to totally BEAN! them! >She looks at screen >Theres only one image >She opens it >lt's literally just the stupid beaned picture >Mom looks at me >"What the f--- anon?"

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Anon's opinions are popular | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)03:23:23 No.62742660 me >be me >having controversial opinions about Igbt and black lives matter. >watching bunch of steven crowder, ben shapiro and other conservative's videos. >getting ready to destroy libtards >no libtards in my country >most of the people are homophobic and 45 KB PNG racist anyway >mfw
: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)03:23:23 No.62742660 me >be me >having controversial opinions about Igbt and black lives matter. >watching bunch of steven crowder, ben shapiro and other conservative's videos. >getting ready to destroy libtards >no libtards in my country >most of the people are homophobic and 45 KB PNG racist anyway >mfw

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Anon has a good day. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)08:50:58 No.849576738 >be me >c-- happiness.jpg 304 KB PNG View Thread
: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)08:50:58 No.849576738 >be me >c-- happiness.jpg 304 KB PNG View Thread

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Anon is Charlie Kelly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)06:20:09 No.50502084 >be me >scour the sewers every night >cant find any love or anything to keep me company IN >my only friends are rats >the rats 10 KB JPG >oh my god >im a rat >do you see that cheese over there >im just goanna go get this cheese : Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)06:25:01 No.50502142 this is painfully unfunny retard >>50502306 #
: Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)06:20:09 No.50502084 >be me >scour the sewers every night >cant find any love or anything to keep me company IN >my only friends are rats >the rats 10 KB JPG >oh my god >im a rat >do you see that cheese over there >im just goanna go get this cheese : Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)06:25:01 No.50502142 this is painfully unfunny retard >>50502306 #

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Anon likely misunderstood the situation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/09/15(Mon)01:03:09 No.24130722 >>24128552 (OP) >be me in middle school >see two chads bullying girl, making fun of a scar she has or something i can't 13 KB JPG remember >come up and say "hey guys leave her alone" >she turns and says "oh god" and rolls her eyes >all three of them laugh at me
Anonymous 11/09/15(Mon)01:03:09 No.24130722 >>24128552 (OP) >be me in middle school >see two chads bullying girl, making fun of a scar she has or something i can't 13 KB JPG remember >come up and say "hey guys leave her alone" >she turns and says "oh god" and rolls her eyes >all three of them laugh at me

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