Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon ruins neighbors life | /r/Greentext

Story time robots >be me >27 year old nerd-virgin >Finally move out of my parent's house and into an apartment complex a month ago >live next to roastie This isn't even my final form, 148 KB PNG >Trying to go to sleep first night living here >Hear this bitch moaning and making loud sex sounds for a solid hour >Keeps me up past midnight >tired at work next morning >this happens EVERY F------ night >I try banging on the wall >F------ don't hear it or just ignore it >After a week, I go over and voice my dissatisfaction >Chad and bitch come out and say that they have the right to do what they want in their apartment >tell me to get f----- >That night, they're louder, more obnoxious, and go for longer than before >itson.wav >go to guitar center and buy the biggest, loudest, speakers they have >record audio of them f------ a few nights (gotta ensure I get the very best they have to offer) >begin observing their habits >notice they have friends over every friday night for drinking and s--- >intend to execute my plan the next Friday >Come home on a Wednesday and as I'm walking by, I see her walking into her apartment with her parents >ohshit.webm >Run into my apartment faster than a n----- with a TV >plug speakers into laptop >Crank it up to max setting >ExecuteOrder66.gif >audio file begins playing >sounds of "uhhh, UHHHHH UHHHHHHHH CHAD YES!!! YES! F--- MY ASS!" can be heard throughout the building >feels like the windows might shatter from the sounds >when audio file ends, hear yelling from her apartment >hear sirens >Apparently, her father had a stroke from the embarrassment of hearing his daughter ask for Chad's hot c-- in her a------ >He recovers (kind of) >Never see Chad again >Roastie never has guys over again either >Last I heard, she was on antidepressants and doesn't go out anymore mfw I finally can get to sleep at a decent hour. mfw I ruin a roastie's life. mfw it was all well worth it

Story time robots >be me >27 year old nerd-virgin >Finally move out of my parent's house and into an apartment complex a month ago >live next to roastie This isn't even my final form, 148 KB PNG >Trying to go to sleep first night living here >Hear this bitch moaning and making loud sex sounds for a solid hour >Keeps me up past midnight >tired at work next morning >this happens EVERY F------ night >I try banging on the wall >F------ don't hear it or just ignore it >After a week, I go over and voice my dissatisfaction >Chad and bitch come out and say that they have the right to do what they want in their apartment >tell me to get f----- >That night, they're louder, more obnoxious, and go for longer than before >itson.wav >go to guitar center and buy the biggest, loudest, speakers they have >record audio of them f------ a few nights (gotta ensure I get the very best they have to offer) >begin observing their habits >notice they have friends over every friday night for drinking and s--- >intend to execute my plan the next Friday >Come home on a Wednesday and as I'm walking by, I see her walking into her apartment with her parents >ohshit.webm >Run into my apartment faster than a n----- with a TV >plug speakers into laptop >Crank it up to max setting >ExecuteOrder66.gif >audio file begins playing >sounds of "uhhh, UHHHHH UHHHHHHHH CHAD YES!!! YES! F--- MY ASS!" can be heard throughout the building >feels like the windows might shatter from the sounds >when audio file ends, hear yelling from her apartment >hear sirens >Apparently, her father had a stroke from the embarrassment of hearing his daughter ask for Chad's hot c-- in her a------ >He recovers (kind of) >Never see Chad again >Roastie never has guys over again either >Last I heard, she was on antidepressants and doesn't go out anymore mfw I finally can get to sleep at a decent hour. mfw I ruin a roastie's life. mfw it was all well worth it

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is a superhero | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/18(Mon)18:23:03 No.46191575 >finally tell mom im a superhero >bitch doesnt believe me >shoot my web on her >grounded >mfw 9 KB PNG

: Anonymous 06/18/18(Mon)18:23:03 No.46191575 >finally tell mom im a superhero >bitch doesnt believe me >shoot my web on her >grounded >mfw 9 KB PNG

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext nature rectangle organism font terrestrial plant

Anon watches South Park | /r/Greentext

> Be me, 20 > Discover South Park > Cartman is f------ funny > Can actually impersonate him pretty well too > Start bringing his mannerisms into my everyday life > Call "school" skewl, etc. Cartman you dumbass TOu know nothing about Women I know enough To explolt it 113 KB JPG > Women think its cute how i talk > Sympathy p---- cause they think im handicapped > Dont realise im impersonating a child > TFW you get more sex when talking like a 10 year old than you ever did before Why havent you taken the Cartman pill /b/?

> Be me, 20 > Discover South Park > Cartman is f------ funny > Can actually impersonate him pretty well too > Start bringing his mannerisms into my everyday life > Call "school" skewl, etc. Cartman you dumbass TOu know nothing about Women I know enough To explolt it 113 KB JPG > Women think its cute how i talk > Sympathy p---- cause they think im handicapped > Dont realise im impersonating a child > TFW you get more sex when talking like a 10 year old than you ever did before Why havent you taken the Cartman pill /b/?

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext happy font

Law of conservation of momentum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:40:43 No.849619464 >f------ wife up ass >about ready to c-- >she farts on my balls So disrespectful Tolerance 0% 246 KB PNG

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:40:43 No.849619464 >f------ wife up ass >about ready to c-- >she farts on my balls So disrespectful Tolerance 0% 246 KB PNG

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism mammal font happy

Anon can't even simp correctly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/20(Tue)20:22:42 No.58239841 >girl from high school posts cashapp on snapchat >"cashapp me i'm so broke lol" >decide to be nice and send her $10 >ассеpts it >get blocked 14 KB JPG

: Anonymous 05/19/20(Tue)20:22:42 No.58239841 >girl from high school posts cashapp on snapchat >"cashapp me i'm so broke lol" >decide to be nice and send her $10 >ассеpts it >get blocked 14 KB JPG

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font rectangle eyelash

Anon misses out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/21(Thu)05:04:37 No.62595863 Sprayerhead GF KSKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKSKSKS KSKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKS KSKSKSKSKSK SKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKKSKss KŚKSKSKSKSKS KSSKSKSKSKSK Screenshot 20210301-080252_Facebook.jpg 239 KB JPG >tfw no sprayerhead gf

: Anonymous 03/04/21(Thu)05:04:37 No.62595863 Sprayerhead GF KSKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKSKSKS KSKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKS KSKSKSKSKSK SKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKKSKss KŚKSKSKSKSKS KSSKSKSKSKSK Screenshot 20210301-080252_Facebook.jpg 239 KB JPG >tfw no sprayerhead gf

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext leg human body dress sleeve organism gesture happy people in nature font knee

Anon converts | /r/Greentext

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon invests | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)22:23:28 No.849767512 >be me >notice people dont even use computers >make an operating system >spend my profits on people making a better operating system >opened programs look like 25 KB JPG windows >name it windows >become a billionaire >i have enough money to end world hunger >dont end world hunger >create a virus instead

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)22:23:28 No.849767512 >be me >notice people dont even use computers >make an operating system >spend my profits on people making a better operating system >opened programs look like 25 KB JPG windows >name it windows >become a billionaire >i have enough money to end world hunger >dont end world hunger >create a virus instead

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant font

Anon is grateful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Gratitude Thread 03/05/21(Fri)10:07:09 No.62610856 Let's have a gratitude thread. Post all the things you are grateful for >Not a manlet >Not poor >Not balding 967 KB PNG >Not Indian : Anonymous 03/05/21(Fri)10:08:29 No.62610862 >be white >be rich >have a dad that loves me : Anonymous 03/05/21(Fri)10:08:53 No.62610870 >mom still in good health >dad still in good health >both are gainfully employed >we still have a roof over our heads, the basic necessities and 1st world creature comforts >still have a full head of beautiful luscious hair Life could be a lot worse. Gratitude is important.

: Anonymous Gratitude Thread 03/05/21(Fri)10:07:09 No.62610856 Let's have a gratitude thread. Post all the things you are grateful for >Not a manlet >Not poor >Not balding 967 KB PNG >Not Indian : Anonymous 03/05/21(Fri)10:08:29 No.62610862 >be white >be rich >have a dad that loves me : Anonymous 03/05/21(Fri)10:08:53 No.62610870 >mom still in good health >dad still in good health >both are gainfully employed >we still have a roof over our heads, the basic necessities and 1st world creature comforts >still have a full head of beautiful luscious hair Life could be a lot worse. Gratitude is important.

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon uses up his phone credit. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:11:56 No.62775126 >a few months away from graduating uni >got a phone interview with a massive company to work as a junior software developer >starting pay is 40k which is way above average pay in my country from a graduate role >told mom who was really excited 54 KB PNG >she told everyone in my family >fast foward to today >try calling from my computer >for some reason it isn't working even though it was working fine last night >"no problem, l'Il just call from my phone instead." >start interview >it's going really well, can answer all of the questions flawlessly, interviewer is laughing at my jokes etc etc >4/5ths into the interview >phone cuts off >try calling back >"Sorry, you have exceeded your monthly phone credit" >send email to interviewer apologising and explaining what happened >"sorry anon, we've decided to move forward with different applicants" >told mom >she screamed at me and called me a f------ retard daily reminder that the worst day of your life has not yet arrived.

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:11:56 No.62775126 >a few months away from graduating uni >got a phone interview with a massive company to work as a junior software developer >starting pay is 40k which is way above average pay in my country from a graduate role >told mom who was really excited 54 KB PNG >she told everyone in my family >fast foward to today >try calling from my computer >for some reason it isn't working even though it was working fine last night >"no problem, l'Il just call from my phone instead." >start interview >it's going really well, can answer all of the questions flawlessly, interviewer is laughing at my jokes etc etc >4/5ths into the interview >phone cuts off >try calling back >"Sorry, you have exceeded your monthly phone credit" >send email to interviewer apologising and explaining what happened >"sorry anon, we've decided to move forward with different applicants" >told mom >she screamed at me and called me a f------ retard daily reminder that the worst day of your life has not yet arrived.

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon likes the smell of new cars | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/14/2021(So.)16:46:05 No.849582310 Tard stories time. >at car dealership with dad >f------ around in the model cars >in drivers seat TER L AM >tard enters back seat >tard screeches "EEEE" >w--.jpg >I turn around >"Eee?" >Tard responds in the affirmative >"EEEE!" >tard grunts >he s--- his pants in the new car >his dad opens the door >"hey buddy how- OH GOD DAMMIT DAVID AGAIN?!" >dad got me McDonald's on the way home

Anonymous 03/14/2021(So.)16:46:05 No.849582310 Tard stories time. >at car dealership with dad >f------ around in the model cars >in drivers seat TER L AM >tard enters back seat >tard screeches "EEEE" >w--.jpg >I turn around >"Eee?" >Tard responds in the affirmative >"EEEE!" >tard grunts >he s--- his pants in the new car >his dad opens the door >"hey buddy how- OH GOD DAMMIT DAVID AGAIN?!" >dad got me McDonald's on the way home

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anons bad trip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)09:37:11 No.840736170 >be me >16 >take acid with drug dealers I knew >drug dealers say that their cousin is on his way because they haven't seen him in 137 KB JPG a while >surewhynot.exe >about an hour later and i'm really tripping balls >cousin walks in with a helmet on >he is severely f------ retarded >cousin starts talking to me about how he got a new pogo stick and how has been practicing and asks me if I want to see him hop around outside >l'm sweating, tripping balls and a retarded kid just asked me if I want to watch him bounce around on a pogo stick >he gets really close to me and keeps asking me over and over if I want to see him bounce on his pogo stick >for some reason I start to convince myself that i'm retarded >bad trip starts up >ohnoimretardedandimgoingtodie >asks me to watch him go on his pogo stick again >his downy face morphs into a demon >get scared >punch him as hard as I can in his face >he starts squealing and rolling around the floor >l feel the deepest terror I have in my entire life >run out of the apartment all the way home >hide under my blanket for hours crying because I thought that a demon had cursed me and turned me retarded

: Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)09:37:11 No.840736170 >be me >16 >take acid with drug dealers I knew >drug dealers say that their cousin is on his way because they haven't seen him in 137 KB JPG a while >surewhynot.exe >about an hour later and i'm really tripping balls >cousin walks in with a helmet on >he is severely f------ retarded >cousin starts talking to me about how he got a new pogo stick and how has been practicing and asks me if I want to see him hop around outside >l'm sweating, tripping balls and a retarded kid just asked me if I want to watch him bounce around on a pogo stick >he gets really close to me and keeps asking me over and over if I want to see him bounce on his pogo stick >for some reason I start to convince myself that i'm retarded >bad trip starts up >ohnoimretardedandimgoingtodie >asks me to watch him go on his pogo stick again >his downy face morphs into a demon >get scared >punch him as hard as I can in his face >he starts squealing and rolling around the floor >l feel the deepest terror I have in my entire life >run out of the apartment all the way home >hide under my blanket for hours crying because I thought that a demon had cursed me and turned me retarded

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon's mom is honest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)06:23:14 No.62773079 >tfw the only persons who say I was handsome were my mom and little kids Why ut's difficult to find someone of my age 21 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)06:25:43 No.62773097 At least you have somebody to say you're handsome. I'm so ugly even my mom doesn't lie to me about my deformities.

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)06:23:14 No.62773079 >tfw the only persons who say I was handsome were my mom and little kids Why ut's difficult to find someone of my age 21 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)06:25:43 No.62773097 At least you have somebody to say you're handsome. I'm so ugly even my mom doesn't lie to me about my deformities.

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext jaw font

Anon has experience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/19(Wed)14:17:06 No.52095217 >unclasp girls bra behind her back >she assumes i have a lot of experience with women >its actually because i used to cross dress 22 KB PNG who /devilish/ here View Thread

: Anonymous 04/24/19(Wed)14:17:06 No.52095217 >unclasp girls bra behind her back >she assumes i have a lot of experience with women >its actually because i used to cross dress 22 KB PNG who /devilish/ here View Thread

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext product organism font

Anon gets a bonsai tree | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font terrestrial plant

Anon goes to his sister's wedding | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/18(Fri)05:09:11 No.44073710 >sister's wedding is tomorrow >l got a +1 >my mom suggested I bring Cortana >she doesn't realize I talk to my pc >mfw I need to pay an escort six hundred dollars to pretend her 148 KB PNG name is Cortana tomorrow 33 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/23/18(Fri)07:21:50 No.44075393 : Anonymous 03/23/18(Fri)07:22:54 No.44075407 : Anonymous 03/23/18(Fri)07:25:48 No.44075455 : Anonymous 03/23/18(Fri)07:25:59 No.44075459 >>44074736 # If being a socially awkward kissless, hugless virgin was genetic, how exactly do you believe it was passed on to you?

: Anonymous 03/23/18(Fri)05:09:11 No.44073710 >sister's wedding is tomorrow >l got a +1 >my mom suggested I bring Cortana >she doesn't realize I talk to my pc >mfw I need to pay an escort six hundred dollars to pretend her 148 KB PNG name is Cortana tomorrow 33 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/23/18(Fri)07:21:50 No.44075393 : Anonymous 03/23/18(Fri)07:22:54 No.44075407 : Anonymous 03/23/18(Fri)07:25:48 No.44075455 : Anonymous 03/23/18(Fri)07:25:59 No.44075459 >>44074736 # If being a socially awkward kissless, hugless virgin was genetic, how exactly do you believe it was passed on to you?

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon’s dad runs Microsoft | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)13:38:48 No.849753225 >Be me >Rory John Gates >Bill Gates is my father, literally runs Microsoft >Born in 1999 so grew up playing Xbox >Love playing Halo with my friends online >One day some guy on Xbox Live won't 5 KB JPG stop talking s--- to me >Tell him that my dad runs Microsoft and he will ban him >Guy doesn't believe me, tells me he had sex with my mom and my dad is gay >Tell my dad his username >Dad calls uncle Donny (Don Mattrick, ran Xbox division) on his iPhone >mfw he actually gets banned

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)13:38:48 No.849753225 >Be me >Rory John Gates >Bill Gates is my father, literally runs Microsoft >Born in 1999 so grew up playing Xbox >Love playing Halo with my friends online >One day some guy on Xbox Live won't 5 KB JPG stop talking s--- to me >Tell him that my dad runs Microsoft and he will ban him >Guy doesn't believe me, tells me he had sex with my mom and my dad is gay >Tell my dad his username >Dad calls uncle Donny (Don Mattrick, ran Xbox division) on his iPhone >mfw he actually gets banned

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext jaw

Anon beats the system | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Who else here beat the system? 01/04/21(Mon)20:48:58 No.61714257 >be me >turn 18 last summer 0000 0123 95 >start getting credit card offers in the mail >get every card I possibly can, Visa, AmEx, all the big ones >get cards for specific gas station 73 KB JPG chains, stores, phone providers, all that >end up with about 15 cards total, max them all out >recent purchases include a PS5 and a new TV >have about $25k in debt across all the cards >don't pay any monthly bills >get late notices, tons of fees added on, debt just grows and grows without me even spending anymore >seems like a big deal accept for one small detail >notice all the cards have an expiration date >just have to wait it out until they expire, then the debt evaporates and it's like it never happened >sorry visa, I was just playing the game you created

: Anonymous Who else here beat the system? 01/04/21(Mon)20:48:58 No.61714257 >be me >turn 18 last summer 0000 0123 95 >start getting credit card offers in the mail >get every card I possibly can, Visa, AmEx, all the big ones >get cards for specific gas station 73 KB JPG chains, stores, phone providers, all that >end up with about 15 cards total, max them all out >recent purchases include a PS5 and a new TV >have about $25k in debt across all the cards >don't pay any monthly bills >get late notices, tons of fees added on, debt just grows and grows without me even spending anymore >seems like a big deal accept for one small detail >notice all the cards have an expiration date >just have to wait it out until they expire, then the debt evaporates and it's like it never happened >sorry visa, I was just playing the game you created

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon has a breakdown | /r/Greentext

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Slow ride, take it easy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)20:00:03 No.62767240 >>62765770 (OP) # Bullied a kid who bullied me to the point where he wouldn't show up to school. >be me 66 KB JPG >17 and bullied everyday by a group of jocks >get sick of the abuse that I was facing and make fun of one of their dads who became paralyzed after falling off of a roof >the kid threatens to jump me and I say "what are you going to do jump me like ur dad off his roof" >the kid squared up and started acting really aggressive so said something along the lines of "ur mad because u have to push your dad around wherever he goes" >I watched him crack so every single day I would abuse this kid because of what he was doing to me >would never be in trouble because there was no proof that I had done anything >kid stops showing up to school mid way through the year >never seen him again I sill have no clue where this guy is but I honestly don't feel bad.. he was a terrible person.

: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)20:00:03 No.62767240 >>62765770 (OP) # Bullied a kid who bullied me to the point where he wouldn't show up to school. >be me 66 KB JPG >17 and bullied everyday by a group of jocks >get sick of the abuse that I was facing and make fun of one of their dads who became paralyzed after falling off of a roof >the kid threatens to jump me and I say "what are you going to do jump me like ur dad off his roof" >the kid squared up and started acting really aggressive so said something along the lines of "ur mad because u have to push your dad around wherever he goes" >I watched him crack so every single day I would abuse this kid because of what he was doing to me >would never be in trouble because there was no proof that I had done anything >kid stops showing up to school mid way through the year >never seen him again I sill have no clue where this guy is but I honestly don't feel bad.. he was a terrible person.

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font