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anon experiences hell | /r/Greentext

File: 13778013.jpg (36 KB, 684x576) Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)18:12:39 No.62786796 > be me > trying to fall asleep > hot > turn fan on > cold > turn fan off > hot > turn fan on > cold when will this hell end?
File: 13778013.jpg (36 KB, 684x576) Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)18:12:39 No.62786796 > be me > trying to fall asleep > hot > turn fan on > cold > turn fan off > hot > turn fan on > cold when will this hell end?

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Anon trolls his friend | /r/Greentext

>its the year 2369 >Video games became super realistic >VR simulations are basically real life now >Cool new animal survival Game that you can play with friends >Decide to buy it 198 KB JPG >Choose to play Human >friend chooses octopus >Rip your friends octobeak off and feel his soft boneless body sucking on your c--- craving your c-- for nutrition >Friend cant eat without beak >Only way to survive is by sucking your c--- tfw i trolled my friend by torturing him to suck my c---
>its the year 2369 >Video games became super realistic >VR simulations are basically real life now >Cool new animal survival Game that you can play with friends >Decide to buy it 198 KB JPG >Choose to play Human >friend chooses octopus >Rip your friends octobeak off and feel his soft boneless body sucking on your c--- craving your c-- for nutrition >Friend cant eat without beak >Only way to survive is by sucking your c--- tfw i trolled my friend by torturing him to suck my c---

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Anon hates Reddit | /r/Greentext

>Be me >post real quality greentexts on 4chan everyday >friend is redditfag >one day goes up to me and shows me his post on 260 KB JPG r/4chan > he took my post from 4chan > got 32k upvotes > tell him its mine > doesnt believe me and tells me i have to prove it > cant prove it I know you see this Michael, f--- you
>Be me >post real quality greentexts on 4chan everyday >friend is redditfag >one day goes up to me and shows me his post on 260 KB JPG r/4chan > he took my post from 4chan > got 32k upvotes > tell him its mine > doesnt believe me and tells me i have to prove it > cant prove it I know you see this Michael, f--- you

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Story of a Starship Captain | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)15:36:32 No.849760587 >Be Me. >Captain of one of 4 great human ark generation spaceships. >Spaceship on a joumey expected to take 100k years. >All other passengers in time distorting simulation. >Ship only has enough energy to run simulation and get to location. >Using amazing future science my life has been prolonged. >Am coming up on my 50,000th year. >Did all physical activities in ship during first 1,000 years. >Now just float around like wall-e character. >Spent last 49,000th years reading everything of interest. >Watch wall-e 1000 times, read all hentai we had. >I have read/done everything 100x times, losing will to live. >Wish I could be like passengers, living simulated life. >But someone needs to captain the ship. >Decide I can only live if I find a way to get 50,000 years more data. >Don't have enough power to send request to other three ships. >Spend 1000 years finally come up with way to get power. >l will throttle the simulation of my passengers. >Use the excess energy to get wall-e master edition and more hentai. >The throttling needs to have a reason though or people will go insane and die. >Program a pandemic. >Forces everyone into limited contact with no travel. >Best way to conserve rendering energy. >After -2 simulated years of this finally have enough energy. >Get more hentai and wall-e. >Bath in eve toys. That's right kids. This virus is just preserving energy so our captain can get more anime t------.
Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)15:36:32 No.849760587 >Be Me. >Captain of one of 4 great human ark generation spaceships. >Spaceship on a joumey expected to take 100k years. >All other passengers in time distorting simulation. >Ship only has enough energy to run simulation and get to location. >Using amazing future science my life has been prolonged. >Am coming up on my 50,000th year. >Did all physical activities in ship during first 1,000 years. >Now just float around like wall-e character. >Spent last 49,000th years reading everything of interest. >Watch wall-e 1000 times, read all hentai we had. >I have read/done everything 100x times, losing will to live. >Wish I could be like passengers, living simulated life. >But someone needs to captain the ship. >Decide I can only live if I find a way to get 50,000 years more data. >Don't have enough power to send request to other three ships. >Spend 1000 years finally come up with way to get power. >l will throttle the simulation of my passengers. >Use the excess energy to get wall-e master edition and more hentai. >The throttling needs to have a reason though or people will go insane and die. >Program a pandemic. >Forces everyone into limited contact with no travel. >Best way to conserve rendering energy. >After -2 simulated years of this finally have enough energy. >Get more hentai and wall-e. >Bath in eve toys. That's right kids. This virus is just preserving energy so our captain can get more anime t------.

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Anon plays Fallout 3 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)17:49:16 No.62780921 >2008 >fallout 3 just came out >hell yeah >buy that s--- and pop disc in xbox 360 16 KB JPG >initially follow the quests up until Tranquility Lane >get bored afterward >start thinking of fun ways to entertain myself >get idea to roleplay as enclave soldier and go around killing people >put in my earbuds and start blasting whatever death metal s--- i liked >f------ mowed down megaton in 5 minutes >collect the bodies at the center of the town in the radioactive lake and then blow up the nuke at the centre >go around mass murdering people for lulz >eventually my main way of playing the game is just killing all of the retarded characters >make sure to always teabag the BOS soldiers >tell my buddy about it >he intially thinks it's funny but as i describe it he gets uncomfortable >last straw was when i hung a giant enclave flag in my room cuz it looked cool >he never talked to me again and whenever i saw him he ignored me Is this how mass shooters are made? Keep in mind that I was only 13 at the time. Just thought about it for the first time in years today. LU
: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)17:49:16 No.62780921 >2008 >fallout 3 just came out >hell yeah >buy that s--- and pop disc in xbox 360 16 KB JPG >initially follow the quests up until Tranquility Lane >get bored afterward >start thinking of fun ways to entertain myself >get idea to roleplay as enclave soldier and go around killing people >put in my earbuds and start blasting whatever death metal s--- i liked >f------ mowed down megaton in 5 minutes >collect the bodies at the center of the town in the radioactive lake and then blow up the nuke at the centre >go around mass murdering people for lulz >eventually my main way of playing the game is just killing all of the retarded characters >make sure to always teabag the BOS soldiers >tell my buddy about it >he intially thinks it's funny but as i describe it he gets uncomfortable >last straw was when i hung a giant enclave flag in my room cuz it looked cool >he never talked to me again and whenever i saw him he ignored me Is this how mass shooters are made? Keep in mind that I was only 13 at the time. Just thought about it for the first time in years today. LU

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Anon works construction | /r/Greentext

>Be me CAT >19 >Work on construction site in Summers >l'm standing at the gates, scanning ID cards >Boring as f--- >Everyone else on site is like 40 years old and retarded >Conatantly staring at QT3.14's and making loud comments like "Look at that fanny" >AreYouAutistic.png >Everyone here's vulgar to eachother >Calls eachother "C----" and "gay" constantly >Mfw I realise construction sites are just IRL 4chan
>Be me CAT >19 >Work on construction site in Summers >l'm standing at the gates, scanning ID cards >Boring as f--- >Everyone else on site is like 40 years old and retarded >Conatantly staring at QT3.14's and making loud comments like "Look at that fanny" >AreYouAutistic.png >Everyone here's vulgar to eachother >Calls eachother "C----" and "gay" constantly >Mfw I realise construction sites are just IRL 4chan

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Anon ascends to normiedom with the power of drugs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)07:54:08 No.62759582 >friend sells me some adderall >take pill >feel f------ euphoric, literally nothing can stop me >zero social anxiety, i could tell my whole life story to a random person if 213 KB JPG i wanted to >compulsive behaviors almost disappear entirely for the first time in over 2 years >don't feel worried anymore, start realizing that all my problems are just temporary and i can fix them easily >actually want to live my life, go out and have fun >don't feel empty anymore, always thinking positive and for the future >drug starts to wear off after a few hours >go back to my normal suicidal self H--------, is this what life as a normie is actually like? Those first few minutes I felt like I was in paradise. Now I just know how much I was robbed of a happy existence.
: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)07:54:08 No.62759582 >friend sells me some adderall >take pill >feel f------ euphoric, literally nothing can stop me >zero social anxiety, i could tell my whole life story to a random person if 213 KB JPG i wanted to >compulsive behaviors almost disappear entirely for the first time in over 2 years >don't feel worried anymore, start realizing that all my problems are just temporary and i can fix them easily >actually want to live my life, go out and have fun >don't feel empty anymore, always thinking positive and for the future >drug starts to wear off after a few hours >go back to my normal suicidal self H--------, is this what life as a normie is actually like? Those first few minutes I felt like I was in paradise. Now I just know how much I was robbed of a happy existence.

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Anon meets a furry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)12:46:51 No.62773638 >see femanon posted her discord and wants some friends to talk to >add her >talk for a few minutes >she asks to voice chat >sure >i say hello >she says i have a nice accent 31 KB JPG >she speaks a little bit but says shes too embarrassed to say this out loud >she types "can you pretend i'm your pet and start calling me a good girl?" >immediately start feeling uncomfortable >"uh yeah sure" >say it once >"you need to say it with more passion, your accent is so nice" >"talk to me lovingly like you do a pet, say i'm such a cute little pet" >start feeling more uncomfortable >"can we just talk about normal things? i don't want to do this, i thought you wanted a friend" >she leaves the call >blocks me fembots sure are confusing to me
: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)12:46:51 No.62773638 >see femanon posted her discord and wants some friends to talk to >add her >talk for a few minutes >she asks to voice chat >sure >i say hello >she says i have a nice accent 31 KB JPG >she speaks a little bit but says shes too embarrassed to say this out loud >she types "can you pretend i'm your pet and start calling me a good girl?" >immediately start feeling uncomfortable >"uh yeah sure" >say it once >"you need to say it with more passion, your accent is so nice" >"talk to me lovingly like you do a pet, say i'm such a cute little pet" >start feeling more uncomfortable >"can we just talk about normal things? i don't want to do this, i thought you wanted a friend" >she leaves the call >blocks me fembots sure are confusing to me

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Anon is spooderman | /r/Greentext

File: 1469861719194.jpg (38 KB, 480x480) O Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:16:07 No.697692183 >Be my >Be My with web-hand throughout the city shooting >Hot girl look to be robbed >Go to help him >Punch roobers in faceface O Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:56:48 No.697696295 is this technically a spiderman thread? >Bam >Boom >Punch roobers in faceface >Poo >Go to virgin women >"why help me you" she speak >"because spoodermoon" >Get mouth kiss O Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)21:00:27 No.697696668 File: spoderman.jeg (11 KB, 225x225) >Her chest edges are super difficult >Launch my pennis >Yes it sucks for my spooder >Bam >Peanut in her throat >With the best night had O Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:30:27 N File: large jog (35 KB, 500x333) >Вoom Image fagmiliar. O Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:32:10 No.697693625 >this is op >Poo >her chest edges are super difficult What the f--- does that even mean? >Be My with web-hand throughout the city shooting OAnonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:31:41 No.697693576 >>697693838 File: Laughing-Hard-Meme-10.jpg (28 KB, 801x534) >Be My with web-hand throughout the city shooting >bam O Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:30:03 No.697693410 File: f3f.gif (891 KB, 165x115) >boom >poo >Image fagmiliar O Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:33:00 No.697693715 F------ got me >Peanut in her throat >>697693338 (OP) >"because spoodermoon" >Yes it sucks for my spooder Lost it
File: 1469861719194.jpg (38 KB, 480x480) O Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:16:07 No.697692183 >Be my >Be My with web-hand throughout the city shooting >Hot girl look to be robbed >Go to help him >Punch roobers in faceface O Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:56:48 No.697696295 is this technically a spiderman thread? >Bam >Boom >Punch roobers in faceface >Poo >Go to virgin women >"why help me you" she speak >"because spoodermoon" >Get mouth kiss O Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)21:00:27 No.697696668 File: spoderman.jeg (11 KB, 225x225) >Her chest edges are super difficult >Launch my pennis >Yes it sucks for my spooder >Bam >Peanut in her throat >With the best night had O Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:30:27 N File: large jog (35 KB, 500x333) >Вoom Image fagmiliar. O Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:32:10 No.697693625 >this is op >Poo >her chest edges are super difficult What the f--- does that even mean? >Be My with web-hand throughout the city shooting OAnonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:31:41 No.697693576 >>697693838 File: Laughing-Hard-Meme-10.jpg (28 KB, 801x534) >Be My with web-hand throughout the city shooting >bam O Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:30:03 No.697693410 File: f3f.gif (891 KB, 165x115) >boom >poo >Image fagmiliar O Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:33:00 No.697693715 F------ got me >Peanut in her throat >>697693338 (OP) >"because spoodermoon" >Yes it sucks for my spooder Lost it

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Anon fucks up | /r/Greentext

ID: OVwe5XvM No. 312267889 16/03/21 09:08:35 bc07f32.png PNG 625.9 KIB 891x576 Canada >Be me >Young neolib (ie politically retarded) >Always thought it was okay to not like/date trans girls. >Start job at new office (biostats), have to work in person one day a week. >Obvious trans woman in the vicinity. The mask doesn't help at all. >Respect them as a normal person, respect for individuals is a core value. >Almost immediately starts hitting on me. >l continually brush it off. Any reasonable person would've got the hint. >Eventually t----- asks of I'm brushing them off. >"Yes. I'm just not interested." >"Is it because I'm trans?" >Flabbergasted.jpg >"Part of it I guess" >lt wasn't even 30 minutes before HR was jumping down my throat about transphobic comments. End up with a write-up that will hurt my career progress if I stay with this company (I won't). >At a loss, value system (family, career, honesty) feeling invalidated. >Try to understand the social climate. >Furiously googling the other side's view. Not being able to reconcile it with my own values. >Try to find arguments from the side I identify with. >Can't >No I seriously f------ can't. >8th page of Google search. >Nothing. >Check Reddit. >Everyone banned, they even got the TERFS. What the f--- is happening? I feel sick. I'm so glad this place is still alive.
ID: OVwe5XvM No. 312267889 16/03/21 09:08:35 bc07f32.png PNG 625.9 KIB 891x576 Canada >Be me >Young neolib (ie politically retarded) >Always thought it was okay to not like/date trans girls. >Start job at new office (biostats), have to work in person one day a week. >Obvious trans woman in the vicinity. The mask doesn't help at all. >Respect them as a normal person, respect for individuals is a core value. >Almost immediately starts hitting on me. >l continually brush it off. Any reasonable person would've got the hint. >Eventually t----- asks of I'm brushing them off. >"Yes. I'm just not interested." >"Is it because I'm trans?" >Flabbergasted.jpg >"Part of it I guess" >lt wasn't even 30 minutes before HR was jumping down my throat about transphobic comments. End up with a write-up that will hurt my career progress if I stay with this company (I won't). >At a loss, value system (family, career, honesty) feeling invalidated. >Try to understand the social climate. >Furiously googling the other side's view. Not being able to reconcile it with my own values. >Try to find arguments from the side I identify with. >Can't >No I seriously f------ can't. >8th page of Google search. >Nothing. >Check Reddit. >Everyone banned, they even got the TERFS. What the f--- is happening? I feel sick. I'm so glad this place is still alive.

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Autistic son anon has | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)09:53:42 No.46331112 >be dad to 7yo son >find out he's possible in the spectrum >smart >awful in social situations >no coordination when partaking in physical activities >loves roblox and minecraft 38 KB PNG >yesterday he was running around the house singing something >watcha doin son? >im sanic, i gotta go fast dad please look after him when he eventually finds you guys
: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)09:53:42 No.46331112 >be dad to 7yo son >find out he's possible in the spectrum >smart >awful in social situations >no coordination when partaking in physical activities >loves roblox and minecraft 38 KB PNG >yesterday he was running around the house singing something >watcha doin son? >im sanic, i gotta go fast dad please look after him when he eventually finds you guys

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Anon sees a cockroach | /r/Greentext

>be me 30 minutes ago >see something moving near my PC >It's a cockroach >disgusted.jpg >my cat scares it so it drops to the floor >the retarded cockroach is just stranding at floor >catch it with an disposable coffee cup >lock it inside >go to the backyard, take the cup with me >drop some alcohol inside, cockroach don't know w-- is going on >fire it 25.2 kB JPG >watch the fire burn that son of a bitch >hear the fire consuming it >it sounds like popcorn >all left is just a lot of ashes, not even a track of the cockroach >victory >pee over the ashes >mfw I realize this is the biggest boner l've had on my whole life
>be me 30 minutes ago >see something moving near my PC >It's a cockroach >disgusted.jpg >my cat scares it so it drops to the floor >the retarded cockroach is just stranding at floor >catch it with an disposable coffee cup >lock it inside >go to the backyard, take the cup with me >drop some alcohol inside, cockroach don't know w-- is going on >fire it 25.2 kB JPG >watch the fire burn that son of a bitch >hear the fire consuming it >it sounds like popcorn >all left is just a lot of ashes, not even a track of the cockroach >victory >pee over the ashes >mfw I realize this is the biggest boner l've had on my whole life

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Melania Trump gets more than she asked for | /r/Greentext

File: First lady.jpg (30 KB, 348x527) O Anonymous (ID: 3LeTk53w 01/20/17(Fri)12:59:42 No.108047628 [Reply] >be me >literal gold digger >just want a nice life without having to work >marry rich guy just for the cash >he's upset with the state of the country >decides to run for president >yeahright.jpeg >he starts doing well >mfw he actually gets elected >mfw l'm the first lady of the United states of America
File: First lady.jpg (30 KB, 348x527) O Anonymous (ID: 3LeTk53w 01/20/17(Fri)12:59:42 No.108047628 [Reply] >be me >literal gold digger >just want a nice life without having to work >marry rich guy just for the cash >he's upset with the state of the country >decides to run for president >yeahright.jpeg >he starts doing well >mfw he actually gets elected >mfw l'm the first lady of the United states of America

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Anon finds his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/20(Mon)18:27:49 No.59727411 >fall for the gay memes on r9k >spend months jerking off to sissy hypno ВВС рorn >decide to go on grindr >scroll a bit >find my dad on the site 163 KB JPG >he's a bottom Should I kill myself?
: Anonymous 08/24/20(Mon)18:27:49 No.59727411 >fall for the gay memes on r9k >spend months jerking off to sissy hypno ВВС рorn >decide to go on grindr >scroll a bit >find my dad on the site 163 KB JPG >he's a bottom Should I kill myself?

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Anon is a degenerate | /r/Greentext

4 Re · 3 Img · PNG · 67KB · (1280 × 1280) 1 Reply >Girl in movie has big butt >Imagine her farting >mfw
4 Re · 3 Img · PNG · 67KB · (1280 × 1280) 1 Reply >Girl in movie has big butt >Imagine her farting >mfw

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Anon is King of the Neighbourhood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Who /mischief/ here? 05/09/18(Wed)20:29:41 No.45258866 >hear 2 people that live in my street shouting at each other about a parking spot outside >later that night go and smash the mirrors on one of their cars >2 days later the other guys cars windows get smashed as well 31 KB JPG without me doing anything >they both think the other guy smashed their car >day after they break out into a fight at one of their houses and the police get called >mfw I started an all out war
: Anonymous Who /mischief/ here? 05/09/18(Wed)20:29:41 No.45258866 >hear 2 people that live in my street shouting at each other about a parking spot outside >later that night go and smash the mirrors on one of their cars >2 days later the other guys cars windows get smashed as well 31 KB JPG without me doing anything >they both think the other guy smashed their car >day after they break out into a fight at one of their houses and the police get called >mfw I started an all out war

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Anon is Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/21 (Mon)12:44:47 No.849652827 >be me >degenerate >get drunk af and decide to check if im bisexual one and for all >call a random dude from grindr to sad apu my place to f--- >he gets to my place 51 KB PNG >starts putting my d--- in his ass >w-- i dont want aids >uhh what about protection >"f--- you you wasted my f------ time" >"um... sorry?" >"let me at least c--" >realize this is f------ gross to me >dude proceeds to j------- and c-- on my stomach >holy f--- i wanna throw up >he leaves >spend the day washing myself and throwing up >still remember how awful that was sometimes at night >i confirmed im straight
: Anonymous 03/15/21 (Mon)12:44:47 No.849652827 >be me >degenerate >get drunk af and decide to check if im bisexual one and for all >call a random dude from grindr to sad apu my place to f--- >he gets to my place 51 KB PNG >starts putting my d--- in his ass >w-- i dont want aids >uhh what about protection >"f--- you you wasted my f------ time" >"um... sorry?" >"let me at least c--" >realize this is f------ gross to me >dude proceeds to j------- and c-- on my stomach >holy f--- i wanna throw up >he leaves >spend the day washing myself and throwing up >still remember how awful that was sometimes at night >i confirmed im straight

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Anon loves his cat | /r/Greentext

>be me >depressed anorexic >cut and starve almost every day >family knows about the starving but not the cutting >they don't care anyway lol >mom makes a negative comment 1.58 MB JPG about my body >make sewer slide plan >while I'm setting things up my cat starts meowing at me for food >sigh and feed her one last time, give her goodbye pets >she keeps headbutting me because she loves me >realize that if I'm dead i can't give her the love she deserves >start sobbing uncontrollably bc I love my cat with my whole heart >decide not to kms >realize that with the way I'm treating my body i could quite possibly die on accident >tell my mom about my problems >start getting help and meds >my cat saved my life >pic related
>be me >depressed anorexic >cut and starve almost every day >family knows about the starving but not the cutting >they don't care anyway lol >mom makes a negative comment 1.58 MB JPG about my body >make sewer slide plan >while I'm setting things up my cat starts meowing at me for food >sigh and feed her one last time, give her goodbye pets >she keeps headbutting me because she loves me >realize that if I'm dead i can't give her the love she deserves >start sobbing uncontrollably bc I love my cat with my whole heart >decide not to kms >realize that with the way I'm treating my body i could quite possibly die on accident >tell my mom about my problems >start getting help and meds >my cat saved my life >pic related

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Anon likes plants | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)19:53:39 No.62777589 tfw autismo >Be the start of COVID >Start getting into plants because inside all day >Have a few special plants I like >Fast forwards to Christmas, home for the holidays >Showing my family pics of the rare plants I have that look kinda 195 KB PNG nice now >Telling my mom about one plant while she's doing some s--- idk >She stops what she's doing and looks at me the way you'd look at a 5 year old showing you their rock collection >In this moment I realize my family think I'm retarded >Have since been afraid to express interests to other people or really talk to them in general >Daily reminder that I am a burden on those around me Anyone else experience this feel? How do you cope with knowing/thinking that people just wish you would stop talking every time you start?
: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)19:53:39 No.62777589 tfw autismo >Be the start of COVID >Start getting into plants because inside all day >Have a few special plants I like >Fast forwards to Christmas, home for the holidays >Showing my family pics of the rare plants I have that look kinda 195 KB PNG nice now >Telling my mom about one plant while she's doing some s--- idk >She stops what she's doing and looks at me the way you'd look at a 5 year old showing you their rock collection >In this moment I realize my family think I'm retarded >Have since been afraid to express interests to other people or really talk to them in general >Daily reminder that I am a burden on those around me Anyone else experience this feel? How do you cope with knowing/thinking that people just wish you would stop talking every time you start?

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Fat Albert dream | /r/Greentext


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