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Ducky's revenge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)21:19:33 No.62797523 >be me, a high school loser >had a few friends, knew a few girls but no gf >prom coming up >no plans because no gf >girl I knew from my circle of friends aporoaches >"hey anon, will you go to prom with me?" >w--.exe >"yeah, sure." >tux, corsage, dinner, etc. >get to prom, she ghosts me >spends all night dancing with some dude she's apparently been crushing on all year >her parents don't approve of him, so she used me to get to the prom >off on the sidelines, there's a shy nerdgirl who came alone >ask her to dance >we hit it off >last dance >nerdgirl and I head for the exit >my "date" stops me on the way out >"where are you going? how am i supposed to get home?" >"thumb a f------ ride for all I care." Nerd girl and I were together 2 years, still friends all these years later.
: Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)21:19:33 No.62797523 >be me, a high school loser >had a few friends, knew a few girls but no gf >prom coming up >no plans because no gf >girl I knew from my circle of friends aporoaches >"hey anon, will you go to prom with me?" >w--.exe >"yeah, sure." >tux, corsage, dinner, etc. >get to prom, she ghosts me >spends all night dancing with some dude she's apparently been crushing on all year >her parents don't approve of him, so she used me to get to the prom >off on the sidelines, there's a shy nerdgirl who came alone >ask her to dance >we hit it off >last dance >nerdgirl and I head for the exit >my "date" stops me on the way out >"where are you going? how am i supposed to get home?" >"thumb a f------ ride for all I care." Nerd girl and I were together 2 years, still friends all these years later.

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Anon likes coins | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/10/21(Wed)19:53:59 No.62694633 >have an autistic obsession with coin collecting >like entire plastic bins filled to the brim with pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, half dollars, dollars, etc. >got into it as a teenager when my JewTube 38 KB JPG grandpa gave his collection to me >went to the bank to pick up rolls of the new 2021 quarters today >teller lady recognizes me >asks me "Are you going to hand those down to your kids when you get old" >mumble "y-yeah" and leave >afterwards go home and have an existential crisis >realize most of my collection will either be thrown away or melted down into buttplug material when i die I just ruined my favorite hobby. I have nothing else to look forward to or be excited about. How do I cope with this?
: Anonymous 03/10/21(Wed)19:53:59 No.62694633 >have an autistic obsession with coin collecting >like entire plastic bins filled to the brim with pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, half dollars, dollars, etc. >got into it as a teenager when my JewTube 38 KB JPG grandpa gave his collection to me >went to the bank to pick up rolls of the new 2021 quarters today >teller lady recognizes me >asks me "Are you going to hand those down to your kids when you get old" >mumble "y-yeah" and leave >afterwards go home and have an existential crisis >realize most of my collection will either be thrown away or melted down into buttplug material when i die I just ruined my favorite hobby. I have nothing else to look forward to or be excited about. How do I cope with this?

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Anon is a griefer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)19:17:57 No.233047 File: 1590329951756.jpg (369 KB, 1200x1166) >>233051 >>233470 >>252405 >>255429 >>257322 Cheating to win is retarded, but cheating to grief is fun >download cheats >target one guy on the enemy team >instakill him start of every round >play intentionally retarded for the rest of the round and miss all my shots >dude is calling hacks in chat >no one believes him >he rage quit >another match >find out the cheat has a spectator list >wait for one guy on my team to die and spectate me >blatantly look at people through walls >peek out looking exactly at enemies so he knows im hacking >dont shoot and die >play intentionally retarded >only look at people through walls when that one guy spectates me >dude calls me a hacker >no one believes him >team vote kicks him for being annoying
Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)19:17:57 No.233047 File: 1590329951756.jpg (369 KB, 1200x1166) >>233051 >>233470 >>252405 >>255429 >>257322 Cheating to win is retarded, but cheating to grief is fun >download cheats >target one guy on the enemy team >instakill him start of every round >play intentionally retarded for the rest of the round and miss all my shots >dude is calling hacks in chat >no one believes him >he rage quit >another match >find out the cheat has a spectator list >wait for one guy on my team to die and spectate me >blatantly look at people through walls >peek out looking exactly at enemies so he knows im hacking >dont shoot and die >play intentionally retarded >only look at people through walls when that one guy spectates me >dude calls me a hacker >no one believes him >team vote kicks him for being annoying

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Anon plays roblox | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/17/18(Wed)21:50:07 No.757226049 How did you get your fetish /b/? >three years ago >was 17 >playing adopt a baby roleplay in roblox >roleplaying as baby >girl with qt roblox skin starts 335 KB PNG playing my "mom" >starts posting in chat to suck on her nips and that i was a good baby >i get hard and pull out my d--- >start fapping to her saying "good baby getting milkies" and stuff like that >posting stuff like "uguu pls give me milk mama >c-- really hard getting off her pretending i was sucking her nips I did the roleplay a couple times after that but ever since ive been jerking it to roblox girls it gets me crazy hard
Anonymous 01/17/18(Wed)21:50:07 No.757226049 How did you get your fetish /b/? >three years ago >was 17 >playing adopt a baby roleplay in roblox >roleplaying as baby >girl with qt roblox skin starts 335 KB PNG playing my "mom" >starts posting in chat to suck on her nips and that i was a good baby >i get hard and pull out my d--- >start fapping to her saying "good baby getting milkies" and stuff like that >posting stuff like "uguu pls give me milk mama >c-- really hard getting off her pretending i was sucking her nips I did the roleplay a couple times after that but ever since ive been jerking it to roblox girls it gets me crazy hard

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Anon is despicable | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)16:48:29 No.849842408 >be me I NEED TO VENT >going through qt 3.14's Instagram >she's a bit of a chubby black girl but it's whatever > see's most recent pic >damn she lost weight and 167 KB JPG got hotter >bust a nut >read the caption >"RIP Breonna Taylor, you deserved better" >MFW I just masturbated to a pic of Breonna Taylor
: Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)16:48:29 No.849842408 >be me I NEED TO VENT >going through qt 3.14's Instagram >she's a bit of a chubby black girl but it's whatever > see's most recent pic >damn she lost weight and 167 KB JPG got hotter >bust a nut >read the caption >"RIP Breonna Taylor, you deserved better" >MFW I just masturbated to a pic of Breonna Taylor

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Anon single handedly ruins a family. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/11/19(Sun)00:13:56 No.806831049 Horror story >be me >have girl over at house >take a piss >don't wash hands >finger her >3 weeks later find out she's in the 22 KB PNG hospital with a uti >she thought she had the flu so she didn't go to the doctor and developed E. coli >family doesn't have insurance and lives in a hotel >they lose everything trying to pay for their daughters medical bills Mfw I destroyed a family by not washing my hands
: Anonymous 08/11/19(Sun)00:13:56 No.806831049 Horror story >be me >have girl over at house >take a piss >don't wash hands >finger her >3 weeks later find out she's in the 22 KB PNG hospital with a uti >she thought she had the flu so she didn't go to the doctor and developed E. coli >family doesn't have insurance and lives in a hotel >they lose everything trying to pay for their daughters medical bills Mfw I destroyed a family by not washing my hands

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Anon gets trapped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)17:00:19 No.846977777 > be me, closeted bisexual > mostly into grils, but have a thing for traps > decide to find a trap irl > go on Grindr, swipe left until I find a cute femboy > we start talking and sharing nudes, body is surprisingly feminine for a trap 356 KB JPG > he wants to meet up > itsHappening.exe > show up, hes shorter than me and petite, just how I like em > get up to bedroom and start making out > he stops, "Anon, I have to tell you something" > "It's cool, I know you have a d---" > "Actually Anon, I'm ftm. I dont have a d---" > mfw, it's actually a chick > mfw, I got reversed traped
: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)17:00:19 No.846977777 > be me, closeted bisexual > mostly into grils, but have a thing for traps > decide to find a trap irl > go on Grindr, swipe left until I find a cute femboy > we start talking and sharing nudes, body is surprisingly feminine for a trap 356 KB JPG > he wants to meet up > itsHappening.exe > show up, hes shorter than me and petite, just how I like em > get up to bedroom and start making out > he stops, "Anon, I have to tell you something" > "It's cool, I know you have a d---" > "Actually Anon, I'm ftm. I dont have a d---" > mfw, it's actually a chick > mfw, I got reversed traped

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Anon is sleep deprived | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)08:18:10 No.62789099 >up all night >about to fall asleep as the sun comes up >f----- starts revving his Harley in the parking lot at 6am for a good 5 226 KB JPG mins F--- F--- F------ F--- OFF
: Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)08:18:10 No.62789099 >up all night >about to fall asleep as the sun comes up >f----- starts revving his Harley in the parking lot at 6am for a good 5 226 KB JPG mins F--- F--- F------ F--- OFF

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Anon gets a book | /r/Greentext

>have somewhat stable social circle in uni >get along with this one grill >she gives me a book for christmas that she thinks I would 82 KB JPG like >for some reason never open it >weeks go by, she keeps asking about the book >quickly look up plot summary on wiki so that I can pretend l'm reading it >she's visibly annoyed and angry, says "you probably never even opened it" >insist that I read it, our relationship slowly deteriorates >we get our degrees and don't stay in touch >fast forward six years >find book while cleaning my apartment >decide to read it >find a little romantic note inside about how much I mean to her etc >mfw book is pretty boring
>have somewhat stable social circle in uni >get along with this one grill >she gives me a book for christmas that she thinks I would 82 KB JPG like >for some reason never open it >weeks go by, she keeps asking about the book >quickly look up plot summary on wiki so that I can pretend l'm reading it >she's visibly annoyed and angry, says "you probably never even opened it" >insist that I read it, our relationship slowly deteriorates >we get our degrees and don't stay in touch >fast forward six years >find book while cleaning my apartment >decide to read it >find a little romantic note inside about how much I mean to her etc >mfw book is pretty boring

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Anon watches Archer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)21:36:46 No.846744113 >Be me >Start to watch Archer >Develop a love for the main character >Slowly implement his personality into yours >Slowly become Archer himself >Develop new personality and make it 203 KB PNG your own >Family and friends notice behavior and are concerned and push you to get checked out >See a therapist >Get diagnosed with high functioning Autism >Don't have to work anymore with new diagnoses and live off the government >Watch as much Archer as you want forever and ever and get payed for it
: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)21:36:46 No.846744113 >Be me >Start to watch Archer >Develop a love for the main character >Slowly implement his personality into yours >Slowly become Archer himself >Develop new personality and make it 203 KB PNG your own >Family and friends notice behavior and are concerned and push you to get checked out >See a therapist >Get diagnosed with high functioning Autism >Don't have to work anymore with new diagnoses and live off the government >Watch as much Archer as you want forever and ever and get payed for it

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Being a Good Grandson | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)20:58:01 N >Grandpa runs clothing store in Israel. >Call grandpa like good grandson. >"How's business Grandpa?" >"Business is Booming!" I attend Grandpas funeral next weekend. I hate being jewish.
Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)20:58:01 N >Grandpa runs clothing store in Israel. >Call grandpa like good grandson. >"How's business Grandpa?" >"Business is Booming!" I attend Grandpas funeral next weekend. I hate being jewish.

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anon is unknowingly a dark magician | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous In need of some answers 03/17/21 (Wed)07:11:28 No.27956668 I heard this is the place related to creepy stuff, so I thought I might ask what phenomenon is going on. >Be me, living in the sticks. >Weird things happen often here, like eyes on trees, things crawling in the forestry, and prowling rooftops, seemingly 1.74 MB JPG vanishing in moments. >Lived here since forever, see weird stuff as well, like old people wandering the halls of an old school, and disappearing suddenly. >Be me years into life. >Enter puberty. >Decide to set fap schedule to late at night for privacy. >l use weird material for fap, so I do it at night to avoid explaining to family my abhorrence. >The usual creepy vibes and weird stuff happens at night as usual, but I concentrate on weird p---. >Months pass. no more creepy vibes, stopped seeing weird things prowling at night. >Go out late at night for the first time. >Absolutely nothing there. No animals, no people. No creepy vibe. >Years later. >Go to college. Moved out of house. >Live with relative in area which also has weird things prowling at night. >Stay there for months, see absolutely nothing. >Some time passes. >Hear from neighbors that parents are now freaked out. >Weird things wandering around the house, according to them. >More time passes. >Move back to house due to the kung-flu >Same as years before. Absolutely nothing. >Hear from relative weeks later. >Tells me about weird things wandering around the house and on the roof late at night. What's going on, how come see absolutely nothing creepy, and feel nothing creepy? And why does creepy s--- happen when I'm not around? : Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)07:19:36 No.27956694 >>27956668 (OP) # You skeeved out all the spooks 'n s--- with your m----------- rituals so they stay away from you >>27956763 #
E Anonymous In need of some answers 03/17/21 (Wed)07:11:28 No.27956668 I heard this is the place related to creepy stuff, so I thought I might ask what phenomenon is going on. >Be me, living in the sticks. >Weird things happen often here, like eyes on trees, things crawling in the forestry, and prowling rooftops, seemingly 1.74 MB JPG vanishing in moments. >Lived here since forever, see weird stuff as well, like old people wandering the halls of an old school, and disappearing suddenly. >Be me years into life. >Enter puberty. >Decide to set fap schedule to late at night for privacy. >l use weird material for fap, so I do it at night to avoid explaining to family my abhorrence. >The usual creepy vibes and weird stuff happens at night as usual, but I concentrate on weird p---. >Months pass. no more creepy vibes, stopped seeing weird things prowling at night. >Go out late at night for the first time. >Absolutely nothing there. No animals, no people. No creepy vibe. >Years later. >Go to college. Moved out of house. >Live with relative in area which also has weird things prowling at night. >Stay there for months, see absolutely nothing. >Some time passes. >Hear from neighbors that parents are now freaked out. >Weird things wandering around the house, according to them. >More time passes. >Move back to house due to the kung-flu >Same as years before. Absolutely nothing. >Hear from relative weeks later. >Tells me about weird things wandering around the house and on the roof late at night. What's going on, how come see absolutely nothing creepy, and feel nothing creepy? And why does creepy s--- happen when I'm not around? : Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)07:19:36 No.27956694 >>27956668 (OP) # You skeeved out all the spooks 'n s--- with your m----------- rituals so they stay away from you >>27956763 #

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Anon is a ninja | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)16:46:26 No.62238391 >used to dress up as a ninja and throw paper throwing stars >teacher gets p----- i could poke someone's eye out >"a ninja can never miss" 278 KB JPG >chuck another at a can across the room >quietly run out the door while the teacher is distracted watching where it's going >hear the can fall into the garbage as i flee >dumb boomer lecturing me even though i'm not there >notices i'm gone and starts yelling >jump into an empty trash can in the hall >camouflage perfectly with the black garbage bag >hear other kids trying to hide their laughter >later find out he looked behind the door and stormed off to do boomer things >teacher didn't know who i was either >ninjutsu success
: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)16:46:26 No.62238391 >used to dress up as a ninja and throw paper throwing stars >teacher gets p----- i could poke someone's eye out >"a ninja can never miss" 278 KB JPG >chuck another at a can across the room >quietly run out the door while the teacher is distracted watching where it's going >hear the can fall into the garbage as i flee >dumb boomer lecturing me even though i'm not there >notices i'm gone and starts yelling >jump into an empty trash can in the hall >camouflage perfectly with the black garbage bag >hear other kids trying to hide their laughter >later find out he looked behind the door and stormed off to do boomer things >teacher didn't know who i was either >ninjutsu success

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Anon is afraid of the dark | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)22:18:02 No.62783858 >grown adult with a job and apartment >still refuse to sleep in complete darkness and must have a light source at all times Cringe? 35 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)22:18:02 No.62783858 >grown adult with a job and apartment >still refuse to sleep in complete darkness and must have a light source at all times Cringe? 35 KB JPG

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anon experiences hell | /r/Greentext

File: 13778013.jpg (36 KB, 684x576) Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)18:12:39 No.62786796 > be me > trying to fall asleep > hot > turn fan on > cold > turn fan off > hot > turn fan on > cold when will this hell end?
File: 13778013.jpg (36 KB, 684x576) Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)18:12:39 No.62786796 > be me > trying to fall asleep > hot > turn fan on > cold > turn fan off > hot > turn fan on > cold when will this hell end?

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Anon trolls his friend | /r/Greentext

>its the year 2369 >Video games became super realistic >VR simulations are basically real life now >Cool new animal survival Game that you can play with friends >Decide to buy it 198 KB JPG >Choose to play Human >friend chooses octopus >Rip your friends octobeak off and feel his soft boneless body sucking on your c--- craving your c-- for nutrition >Friend cant eat without beak >Only way to survive is by sucking your c--- tfw i trolled my friend by torturing him to suck my c---
>its the year 2369 >Video games became super realistic >VR simulations are basically real life now >Cool new animal survival Game that you can play with friends >Decide to buy it 198 KB JPG >Choose to play Human >friend chooses octopus >Rip your friends octobeak off and feel his soft boneless body sucking on your c--- craving your c-- for nutrition >Friend cant eat without beak >Only way to survive is by sucking your c--- tfw i trolled my friend by torturing him to suck my c---

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Anon hates Reddit | /r/Greentext

>Be me >post real quality greentexts on 4chan everyday >friend is redditfag >one day goes up to me and shows me his post on 260 KB JPG r/4chan > he took my post from 4chan > got 32k upvotes > tell him its mine > doesnt believe me and tells me i have to prove it > cant prove it I know you see this Michael, f--- you
>Be me >post real quality greentexts on 4chan everyday >friend is redditfag >one day goes up to me and shows me his post on 260 KB JPG r/4chan > he took my post from 4chan > got 32k upvotes > tell him its mine > doesnt believe me and tells me i have to prove it > cant prove it I know you see this Michael, f--- you

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Story of a Starship Captain | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)15:36:32 No.849760587 >Be Me. >Captain of one of 4 great human ark generation spaceships. >Spaceship on a joumey expected to take 100k years. >All other passengers in time distorting simulation. >Ship only has enough energy to run simulation and get to location. >Using amazing future science my life has been prolonged. >Am coming up on my 50,000th year. >Did all physical activities in ship during first 1,000 years. >Now just float around like wall-e character. >Spent last 49,000th years reading everything of interest. >Watch wall-e 1000 times, read all hentai we had. >I have read/done everything 100x times, losing will to live. >Wish I could be like passengers, living simulated life. >But someone needs to captain the ship. >Decide I can only live if I find a way to get 50,000 years more data. >Don't have enough power to send request to other three ships. >Spend 1000 years finally come up with way to get power. >l will throttle the simulation of my passengers. >Use the excess energy to get wall-e master edition and more hentai. >The throttling needs to have a reason though or people will go insane and die. >Program a pandemic. >Forces everyone into limited contact with no travel. >Best way to conserve rendering energy. >After -2 simulated years of this finally have enough energy. >Get more hentai and wall-e. >Bath in eve toys. That's right kids. This virus is just preserving energy so our captain can get more anime t------.
Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)15:36:32 No.849760587 >Be Me. >Captain of one of 4 great human ark generation spaceships. >Spaceship on a joumey expected to take 100k years. >All other passengers in time distorting simulation. >Ship only has enough energy to run simulation and get to location. >Using amazing future science my life has been prolonged. >Am coming up on my 50,000th year. >Did all physical activities in ship during first 1,000 years. >Now just float around like wall-e character. >Spent last 49,000th years reading everything of interest. >Watch wall-e 1000 times, read all hentai we had. >I have read/done everything 100x times, losing will to live. >Wish I could be like passengers, living simulated life. >But someone needs to captain the ship. >Decide I can only live if I find a way to get 50,000 years more data. >Don't have enough power to send request to other three ships. >Spend 1000 years finally come up with way to get power. >l will throttle the simulation of my passengers. >Use the excess energy to get wall-e master edition and more hentai. >The throttling needs to have a reason though or people will go insane and die. >Program a pandemic. >Forces everyone into limited contact with no travel. >Best way to conserve rendering energy. >After -2 simulated years of this finally have enough energy. >Get more hentai and wall-e. >Bath in eve toys. That's right kids. This virus is just preserving energy so our captain can get more anime t------.

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Anon plays Fallout 3 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)17:49:16 No.62780921 >2008 >fallout 3 just came out >hell yeah >buy that s--- and pop disc in xbox 360 16 KB JPG >initially follow the quests up until Tranquility Lane >get bored afterward >start thinking of fun ways to entertain myself >get idea to roleplay as enclave soldier and go around killing people >put in my earbuds and start blasting whatever death metal s--- i liked >f------ mowed down megaton in 5 minutes >collect the bodies at the center of the town in the radioactive lake and then blow up the nuke at the centre >go around mass murdering people for lulz >eventually my main way of playing the game is just killing all of the retarded characters >make sure to always teabag the BOS soldiers >tell my buddy about it >he intially thinks it's funny but as i describe it he gets uncomfortable >last straw was when i hung a giant enclave flag in my room cuz it looked cool >he never talked to me again and whenever i saw him he ignored me Is this how mass shooters are made? Keep in mind that I was only 13 at the time. Just thought about it for the first time in years today. LU
: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)17:49:16 No.62780921 >2008 >fallout 3 just came out >hell yeah >buy that s--- and pop disc in xbox 360 16 KB JPG >initially follow the quests up until Tranquility Lane >get bored afterward >start thinking of fun ways to entertain myself >get idea to roleplay as enclave soldier and go around killing people >put in my earbuds and start blasting whatever death metal s--- i liked >f------ mowed down megaton in 5 minutes >collect the bodies at the center of the town in the radioactive lake and then blow up the nuke at the centre >go around mass murdering people for lulz >eventually my main way of playing the game is just killing all of the retarded characters >make sure to always teabag the BOS soldiers >tell my buddy about it >he intially thinks it's funny but as i describe it he gets uncomfortable >last straw was when i hung a giant enclave flag in my room cuz it looked cool >he never talked to me again and whenever i saw him he ignored me Is this how mass shooters are made? Keep in mind that I was only 13 at the time. Just thought about it for the first time in years today. LU

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Anon works construction | /r/Greentext

>Be me CAT >19 >Work on construction site in Summers >l'm standing at the gates, scanning ID cards >Boring as f--- >Everyone else on site is like 40 years old and retarded >Conatantly staring at QT3.14's and making loud comments like "Look at that fanny" >AreYouAutistic.png >Everyone here's vulgar to eachother >Calls eachother "C----" and "gay" constantly >Mfw I realise construction sites are just IRL 4chan
>Be me CAT >19 >Work on construction site in Summers >l'm standing at the gates, scanning ID cards >Boring as f--- >Everyone else on site is like 40 years old and retarded >Conatantly staring at QT3.14's and making loud comments like "Look at that fanny" >AreYouAutistic.png >Everyone here's vulgar to eachother >Calls eachother "C----" and "gay" constantly >Mfw I realise construction sites are just IRL 4chan

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