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Anon feels bad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)23:49:59 No.850084026 >>850083036 (OP) # >Be me >Has a parrot >Very annoying parrot >Decides to take him to my room and 390 KB JPG cuddle with him >He bites me so hard i start bleeding >My reflexes made me flinch my hand and i threw him very hardly on the ground >I realize what i have just done >l grab him >He is still breathing and blinks >Decides to grab him >His head is swinging, he probably broke his neck >Starts f------ panicking >I try to hold his head while i cut him a piece of apple >I start crying >His head is f------ swinging >Thinking he maybe just maybe passed out and that is why he is numb >His eyes start to get really watery >I put him on a table >l go to my room to grab my phone and call mom >Can't find it >Goes back >He is f------ dead >l start to cry even more >Eventually told my dad >We buried him in the garden >This happend 5 years ago and i still feel guilt.
: Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)23:49:59 No.850084026 >>850083036 (OP) # >Be me >Has a parrot >Very annoying parrot >Decides to take him to my room and 390 KB JPG cuddle with him >He bites me so hard i start bleeding >My reflexes made me flinch my hand and i threw him very hardly on the ground >I realize what i have just done >l grab him >He is still breathing and blinks >Decides to grab him >His head is swinging, he probably broke his neck >Starts f------ panicking >I try to hold his head while i cut him a piece of apple >I start crying >His head is f------ swinging >Thinking he maybe just maybe passed out and that is why he is numb >His eyes start to get really watery >I put him on a table >l go to my room to grab my phone and call mom >Can't find it >Goes back >He is f------ dead >l start to cry even more >Eventually told my dad >We buried him in the garden >This happend 5 years ago and i still feel guilt.

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Anon creates a formula | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/16/18(Fri)11:09:28 No.7327432 Anon Oversimplified >be [pronoun] >see female at [insert noun], rate her [X]/10 >[female] starts up conversation >[word].fileformat >talk more and head over to 10 KB PNG [female's] house >laying on her [object] >We start [action] >[reaction].fileformat >[female] says she is a t----- >[sexual action] ["female"] anyway >seeya later [group of persons] [redtext] So anons how did I do
: Anonymous 11/16/18(Fri)11:09:28 No.7327432 Anon Oversimplified >be [pronoun] >see female at [insert noun], rate her [X]/10 >[female] starts up conversation >[word].fileformat >talk more and head over to 10 KB PNG [female's] house >laying on her [object] >We start [action] >[reaction].fileformat >[female] says she is a t----- >[sexual action] ["female"] anyway >seeya later [group of persons] [redtext] So anons how did I do

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Anon creates a Reddit account | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/21(Thu)04:59:12 No.848781924 >Create Reddit account >Notice my arms start to get chubbier >Panic as my stomach begins to bulge out >Waddle towards the door >Fingers are too fat to grab the handle >Sit down to catch my breath 686 KB PNG >Body is getting fatter >Hair begins to grown on my neck >Clothes start to rip apart and fall to the floor >Skull starts to reshape, creating a fedora like form atop my head >"Mom help me!" >Mom enters the room >"Anon, what's going on!?" >"I'm... I'm a big chungus!" >Mom bursts into tears >l'm now a redditor 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/04/21(Thu)04:59:12 No.848781924 >Create Reddit account >Notice my arms start to get chubbier >Panic as my stomach begins to bulge out >Waddle towards the door >Fingers are too fat to grab the handle >Sit down to catch my breath 686 KB PNG >Body is getting fatter >Hair begins to grown on my neck >Clothes start to rip apart and fall to the floor >Skull starts to reshape, creating a fedora like form atop my head >"Mom help me!" >Mom enters the room >"Anon, what's going on!?" >"I'm... I'm a big chungus!" >Mom bursts into tears >l'm now a redditor 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon meets a frog | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)18:49:22 No.850101715 ► >850101773 >>850102710 >>850102814 >>850103135 >>850103245 >>850103623 >>850103722 >be me >live in uk >have a pond in the garden >find out that theres some toads in it >go out every night to look at them >decide I want to pick one up >gently pick one up >he seems very calm >notice he is gripping on very tightly to two of my fingers >worried that i am somehow hurting him >try to get him to go back into pond by putting my hand in the water >he keeps gripping on tightly >shake my hand >still not budging >shake hand harder >he plops off into water >notice he is floating upside down >I turn him the right way over >he swims away sorry mr toad :(
Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)18:49:22 No.850101715 ► >850101773 >>850102710 >>850102814 >>850103135 >>850103245 >>850103623 >>850103722 >be me >live in uk >have a pond in the garden >find out that theres some toads in it >go out every night to look at them >decide I want to pick one up >gently pick one up >he seems very calm >notice he is gripping on very tightly to two of my fingers >worried that i am somehow hurting him >try to get him to go back into pond by putting my hand in the water >he keeps gripping on tightly >shake my hand >still not budging >shake hand harder >he plops off into water >notice he is floating upside down >I turn him the right way over >he swims away sorry mr toad :(

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Lifetime commitment | /r/Greentext

File: images.jpg (7 KB, 247x204) O Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)14:47:58 No.62793117 [Reply] >>62793163 >dreamed I broke into a house >suddenly hear the home owners arrive >freak out and try to hide >find a way to the basement which is almost the size of a warehouse >look at an iPad to see where they are >see a horribly grotesque humanoid creature walking around the house >looks like the one in the picture >absolutely terrified >see it coming down the stairs into the basement >the only way out of here is by waking up >wake up into sleep paralysis >the humanoid thing is standing in the corner of my room >hear it say "you can't escape that easily" >stayed in bed the rest of the day
File: images.jpg (7 KB, 247x204) O Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)14:47:58 No.62793117 [Reply] >>62793163 >dreamed I broke into a house >suddenly hear the home owners arrive >freak out and try to hide >find a way to the basement which is almost the size of a warehouse >look at an iPad to see where they are >see a horribly grotesque humanoid creature walking around the house >looks like the one in the picture >absolutely terrified >see it coming down the stairs into the basement >the only way out of here is by waking up >wake up into sleep paralysis >the humanoid thing is standing in the corner of my room >hear it say "you can't escape that easily" >stayed in bed the rest of the day

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Anon does good | /r/Greentext

File: download (1).jpg (55 KB, 865x526) U Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)18:16:02 No.62838938 >be me >good boy >only play forknite 12 hours a day now >mom finally sets rules >start doing chores aroun the house >trash all my pee bottles >start pooping and peeing in the bathroom now >mom proud of me >my dad comes back with the milk >make real friends >grades improve >overcome my sugar addiction >things going good >parents love me again >stop playing fortnite >get a girlfriend >mom makes me tendies only once a week now Did I do good anons? Anonym ous 03/20/21(Sat)18:18:04 No 62838965
File: download (1).jpg (55 KB, 865x526) U Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)18:16:02 No.62838938 >be me >good boy >only play forknite 12 hours a day now >mom finally sets rules >start doing chores aroun the house >trash all my pee bottles >start pooping and peeing in the bathroom now >mom proud of me >my dad comes back with the milk >make real friends >grades improve >overcome my sugar addiction >things going good >parents love me again >stop playing fortnite >get a girlfriend >mom makes me tendies only once a week now Did I do good anons? Anonym ous 03/20/21(Sat)18:18:04 No 62838965

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anon became gay | /r/Greentext

>be me >be fat f--- 20yo tard >pokes throat to puke unwanted calories >doing it for months >lost gag reflex 96.3 kB JPG Am I gay now?
>be me >be fat f--- 20yo tard >pokes throat to puke unwanted calories >doing it for months >lost gag reflex 96.3 kB JPG Am I gay now?

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Anon is spitter man | /r/Greentext

I f----- up big time >be me >want to ask out crush >not very close but sometimes make her laugh 136 KB JPG >want to ask her out with a joke >go up to her in cafeteria >mind goes blank and have to think of a joke on the spot >see she's eating soup >autism.jpg >"I am the soup spitter man and I spit in people's soup" >spit in her soup >"Ew what the f---!" >doesn't talk to me and known as soup spitter man for the rest of high school >mfw that was several years ago >mfw I still have the nightmares
I f----- up big time >be me >want to ask out crush >not very close but sometimes make her laugh 136 KB JPG >want to ask her out with a joke >go up to her in cafeteria >mind goes blank and have to think of a joke on the spot >see she's eating soup >autism.jpg >"I am the soup spitter man and I spit in people's soup" >spit in her soup >"Ew what the f---!" >doesn't talk to me and known as soup spitter man for the rest of high school >mfw that was several years ago >mfw I still have the nightmares

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Anon wears a tank top | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Collected my first mire 03/08/21(Mon)16:56:08 No.6023951: >bust the tank tops out since it's 70 and sunny >take dog out for walk around city >pass by house where 3 kids and a mom are outside playing whiffle ball in front yard >kid points at me and says 55 KB JPG "mommy, there's a strong guy" >wave at him and say "thanks, man" >his mom apologizes and compliments my boxer >mfw the entire way home i might just make it, bros. i might just make it. 8 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous Collected my first mire 03/08/21(Mon)16:56:08 No.6023951: >bust the tank tops out since it's 70 and sunny >take dog out for walk around city >pass by house where 3 kids and a mom are outside playing whiffle ball in front yard >kid points at me and says 55 KB JPG "mommy, there's a strong guy" >wave at him and say "thanks, man" >his mom apologizes and compliments my boxer >mfw the entire way home i might just make it, bros. i might just make it. 8 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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It wasn’t just a meme? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: CYaRgWDp 4 07/28/17(Fri)08:3 >>135275894 >>135276090 >>135276165 >>135277069 >>135278 >>135286564 >>135286951 >>135289136 >>135289396 >>135290 >Brother is a history teacher for kids in 5th grade >Told me he brought up 9/11 to his class >Said kids went instantly insane >They didn't know it was real >One kid said he thought it was just a meme
Anonymous (ID: CYaRgWDp 4 07/28/17(Fri)08:3 >>135275894 >>135276090 >>135276165 >>135277069 >>135278 >>135286564 >>135286951 >>135289136 >>135289396 >>135290 >Brother is a history teacher for kids in 5th grade >Told me he brought up 9/11 to his class >Said kids went instantly insane >They didn't know it was real >One kid said he thought it was just a meme

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Anon can't get laid | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)20:03:03 No.60462916 I just had a girl over and once I took off my shirt, she quickly left. W-- is there something wrong with my body? 1.41 MB JPG 23 Replies /1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)20:30:25 No.6046322 >>60462916 (OP) # What was the context in which you took off your shirt? Were you two simply talking and you randomly took off your shirt? She probably thought you were about to r--- her >>60463291 # UTUUZLV TT >>60463132 # >Ask her if she wants to watch a movie >She says ok >Plug in hdmi into laptop >Begin movie >She starts cuddling with me >Take off shirt >l say "it's time" >Takes her purse and leaves
Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)20:03:03 No.60462916 I just had a girl over and once I took off my shirt, she quickly left. W-- is there something wrong with my body? 1.41 MB JPG 23 Replies /1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)20:30:25 No.6046322 >>60462916 (OP) # What was the context in which you took off your shirt? Were you two simply talking and you randomly took off your shirt? She probably thought you were about to r--- her >>60463291 # UTUUZLV TT >>60463132 # >Ask her if she wants to watch a movie >She says ok >Plug in hdmi into laptop >Begin movie >She starts cuddling with me >Take off shirt >l say "it's time" >Takes her purse and leaves

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Anon doesn't like redditors | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)13:31:17 No.62844206 I fluking hate redditors with a passion man > Me about a week ago > Feeling depressed, tell a story about my s----- prom experience where I hid at a Chick- fil- A all 25 KB JPG night > Next morning, see my f------ greentext at the top of my page on Reddit > Has like 5k karma, and all the comments are either failing to summon the f------ tendiebot or are asking about the anime wojack I used > You f------ are probably reading this on r/greentext right now f--- you
: Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)13:31:17 No.62844206 I fluking hate redditors with a passion man > Me about a week ago > Feeling depressed, tell a story about my s----- prom experience where I hid at a Chick- fil- A all 25 KB JPG night > Next morning, see my f------ greentext at the top of my page on Reddit > Has like 5k karma, and all the comments are either failing to summon the f------ tendiebot or are asking about the anime wojack I used > You f------ are probably reading this on r/greentext right now f--- you

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anon has a rude step-dad | /r/Greentext

>be me >22 >did stupid s--- yesterday >step-dad found out today >called me a stupid n----- >tfw he is black too
>be me >22 >did stupid s--- yesterday >step-dad found out today >called me a stupid n----- >tfw he is black too

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Anon is in the army | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)09:39:46 No.850096958 > be me > be 19 year old army f-- > get real bored nothing to do in barracks > get horny > say “f--- it" and pull up p--- > Tomboys.webm > nut on my extra sheet they give us 150 KB PNG wipe extra j--- running down my balls > wipe to far > wipe ass > wipe ass so hard that it leaves a s--- stain on the white sheet > ohfuckmylifeifmysgtfindthis.exe > try to use germ x to get it out huh no good wont come out > grab a trash bag and put it in said trash bag > sneak out of barracks >I s--- you not a f------ mp police car is right there > I'm just thrown out dinner > he believes me even tho im using a lager trash bag > throw it in dumpster and wish him a good night > mfw i pray he doesn't investigate it
: Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)09:39:46 No.850096958 > be me > be 19 year old army f-- > get real bored nothing to do in barracks > get horny > say “f--- it" and pull up p--- > Tomboys.webm > nut on my extra sheet they give us 150 KB PNG wipe extra j--- running down my balls > wipe to far > wipe ass > wipe ass so hard that it leaves a s--- stain on the white sheet > ohfuckmylifeifmysgtfindthis.exe > try to use germ x to get it out huh no good wont come out > grab a trash bag and put it in said trash bag > sneak out of barracks >I s--- you not a f------ mp police car is right there > I'm just thrown out dinner > he believes me even tho im using a lager trash bag > throw it in dumpster and wish him a good night > mfw i pray he doesn't investigate it

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Anon loves his mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)22:29:45 No.773601407 >Mom comes home from work stressed out as usual , dad home drunk >Sees me depressed and unmotivated to do anything > takes me and my sister out to eat >let me order anything from the menu , as the good boy I am I order tendies with 46 KB PNG hunny mussy >we leave and go visit my uncle and my newborn cousin >on our ride back home we listen to Southern Nights , a song I love >mfw I realized she did this all for me to cheer up >came home and didn't want to cry and say "i love you" cause l'm a wuss > grow a pair of balls and go say "I love you and thanks for taking me out "sobbing all over her | shoulder >still crying while writing this > although you'll never see this > Thank you mom , I love you with all my heart
: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)22:29:45 No.773601407 >Mom comes home from work stressed out as usual , dad home drunk >Sees me depressed and unmotivated to do anything > takes me and my sister out to eat >let me order anything from the menu , as the good boy I am I order tendies with 46 KB PNG hunny mussy >we leave and go visit my uncle and my newborn cousin >on our ride back home we listen to Southern Nights , a song I love >mfw I realized she did this all for me to cheer up >came home and didn't want to cry and say "i love you" cause l'm a wuss > grow a pair of balls and go say "I love you and thanks for taking me out "sobbing all over her | shoulder >still crying while writing this > although you'll never see this > Thank you mom , I love you with all my heart

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Somebody cares for Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)20:03:36 No.778848231 >be me >be with this girl >she kinda accepts me >even tho I'm a /b/eta >she let's me stay at her place >very comfy, smells good >l can play vidya too >she offers that she could make some food for 66 KB JPG me >hell f------ yes! >she even asks what would I eat >tendietime.wav >her tendies are the best >she cares for me I can feel it >I love my mum
: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)20:03:36 No.778848231 >be me >be with this girl >she kinda accepts me >even tho I'm a /b/eta >she let's me stay at her place >very comfy, smells good >l can play vidya too >she offers that she could make some food for 66 KB JPG me >hell f------ yes! >she even asks what would I eat >tendietime.wav >her tendies are the best >she cares for me I can feel it >I love my mum

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Anon is a Plague Doctor. | /r/Greentext

>be me >medieval doctor >get swag for treating people >make a leper eat some leeches >get dope ass mask >sprinkle salt on some bitch's exploded 103 KB JPG anus >get dope ass peasant beating stick >next step is tophat >ohshit.tapestry >look for more patients but everyone is healthy >travel looking for sick people >find some dumbass rat covered in fleas >idea.oiloncanvas >fleas = disease %3D >disease = clients >clients = tophat >go back to london and release rat %3D >few months later >everyone dead, still no clients >find dead doctor who got the tophat before the mask >mfw I killed 1/3 of Europe >mfw I slowed down humanity as a whole >mfw everyone I knew is dead >mfw I have a tophat worth
>be me >medieval doctor >get swag for treating people >make a leper eat some leeches >get dope ass mask >sprinkle salt on some bitch's exploded 103 KB JPG anus >get dope ass peasant beating stick >next step is tophat >ohshit.tapestry >look for more patients but everyone is healthy >travel looking for sick people >find some dumbass rat covered in fleas >idea.oiloncanvas >fleas = disease %3D >disease = clients >clients = tophat >go back to london and release rat %3D >few months later >everyone dead, still no clients >find dead doctor who got the tophat before the mask >mfw I killed 1/3 of Europe >mfw I slowed down humanity as a whole >mfw everyone I knew is dead >mfw I have a tophat worth

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Anon is Dhar Mann | /r/Greentext

[Advertise on 4chan] turn] [Catalog] [Bottom] e: download (1).jpg (40 KB, 652x642) O Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)15:21:33 No.6283676: >be me >walking down street >see bullies break this kids glasses >run over to them >HEY! What are you doing to that kid????? >Bullies say "Just rough housing" >Guys you can't do that >So you see.. . >Talk to them about my experiences >You see, thats why you shouldn't be mean to him >Bullies look sorry >Walk away >Bullies start beating the kid up again >l did a good thing
[Advertise on 4chan] turn] [Catalog] [Bottom] e: download (1).jpg (40 KB, 652x642) O Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)15:21:33 No.6283676: >be me >walking down street >see bullies break this kids glasses >run over to them >HEY! What are you doing to that kid????? >Bullies say "Just rough housing" >Guys you can't do that >So you see.. . >Talk to them about my experiences >You see, thats why you shouldn't be mean to him >Bullies look sorry >Walk away >Bullies start beating the kid up again >l did a good thing

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Anon wants to smoke weed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)20:13:42 No.850099251 Immeasurable Disappointment >boring forgettable day so far >get a text from a coworker >kinda greasy sketchy neckbearded dude but not annoying, have made small talk with him before at work 15 KB JPG >"Hey anon wanna come over and smoke" >hell yeah weed time >pull up to the address he gave me >dilapidated trailer by a pond, smells like dog s--- >oh well at least i get to smoke >hesitantly enter trailer >"Hey anon! (small talk)" >honestly just waiting to smoke, decide to bring it up >"You down to smoke?" >"You know it" >mfw he pulls out a pack of cigarettes
: Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)20:13:42 No.850099251 Immeasurable Disappointment >boring forgettable day so far >get a text from a coworker >kinda greasy sketchy neckbearded dude but not annoying, have made small talk with him before at work 15 KB JPG >"Hey anon wanna come over and smoke" >hell yeah weed time >pull up to the address he gave me >dilapidated trailer by a pond, smells like dog s--- >oh well at least i get to smoke >hesitantly enter trailer >"Hey anon! (small talk)" >honestly just waiting to smoke, decide to bring it up >"You down to smoke?" >"You know it" >mfw he pulls out a pack of cigarettes

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Anon is an intellectual | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous They know 07/27/18(Fri)19:19:29 No.19523436 >be me >fap >go out in public THEY KNOW 551 KB PNG
: Anonymous They know 07/27/18(Fri)19:19:29 No.19523436 >be me >fap >go out in public THEY KNOW 551 KB PNG

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