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Anon knows the time | /r/Greentext

File: Snapchat-2079101352.jpg (1.41 MB, 2160x4055) O Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)09:03:03 No.60462916 >>60463067 >>60463088 >260463106 >>60463130 >>60463132 >>60463146 >>60463191 >>60463226 >>60463388 >>60483466 >>60464029 >>60464163 >>60464294 >>60464984 >>60467363 >>60468625 >>60462985 >>60463042 >>60463064 I just had a girl over and once I took off my shirt, she quickly left. W-- is there something wrong with my body? What was the context in which you took off your shirt? Were you two simply talking and you randomiy took off your shirt? She probably thought you were about to r--- her >>60463132 Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)09:20:46 No.60463132 2260463291 >>60462916 (OP) probably because you awkwardly took your shirt off mid conversation or you misread the situation, give more context >Ask her if she wants to watch a movie >She says ok >Plug in hdmi into laptop >Begin movie >She starts cuddling with me >Take off shirt >l say "it's time" >Takes her purse and leaves
File: Snapchat-2079101352.jpg (1.41 MB, 2160x4055) O Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)09:03:03 No.60462916 >>60463067 >>60463088 >260463106 >>60463130 >>60463132 >>60463146 >>60463191 >>60463226 >>60463388 >>60483466 >>60464029 >>60464163 >>60464294 >>60464984 >>60467363 >>60468625 >>60462985 >>60463042 >>60463064 I just had a girl over and once I took off my shirt, she quickly left. W-- is there something wrong with my body? What was the context in which you took off your shirt? Were you two simply talking and you randomiy took off your shirt? She probably thought you were about to r--- her >>60463132 Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)09:20:46 No.60463132 2260463291 >>60462916 (OP) probably because you awkwardly took your shirt off mid conversation or you misread the situation, give more context >Ask her if she wants to watch a movie >She says ok >Plug in hdmi into laptop >Begin movie >She starts cuddling with me >Take off shirt >l say "it's time" >Takes her purse and leaves

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Anon is Aimee Challenor, Reddit Admin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: VG2LTBHE ) [] 03/24/21(Wed)19:09:08 No.313488169 >>313485659 (OP) # forgot >be furry >be in to diaper play 62 KB JPG >dad is in to diaper play >ad abducts year 10 old girl >ties her up in the house and rapes 10 year old girl while dressed as a big baby >you live in the same house while all this is going on >>313488482 #
: Anonymous (ID: VG2LTBHE ) [] 03/24/21(Wed)19:09:08 No.313488169 >>313485659 (OP) # forgot >be furry >be in to diaper play 62 KB JPG >dad is in to diaper play >ad abducts year 10 old girl >ties her up in the house and rapes 10 year old girl while dressed as a big baby >you live in the same house while all this is going on >>313488482 #

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Anon’s morning routine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)10:41:37 No.850384639, What's your morning routine? >Coffee >C-------- >Poopie shhh -almost -now w may spe >Second coffee >Second c-------- >Second poop 124 KB PNG >Shower 44 Replies / 10 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)12:27:46 No.850388911 >>850386519 # no i'm romanian
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)10:41:37 No.850384639, What's your morning routine? >Coffee >C-------- >Poopie shhh -almost -now w may spe >Second coffee >Second c-------- >Second poop 124 KB PNG >Shower 44 Replies / 10 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)12:27:46 No.850388911 >>850386519 # no i'm romanian

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Anon gets boob | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)23:56:15 No.850346129 > be me > have to s--- > lightbulb.jpeg > realize poop mirrored is boob > s--- > pull s--- out of toilet > hold it up to mirror > technically holding boob > cya virgins
Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)23:56:15 No.850346129 > be me > have to s--- > lightbulb.jpeg > realize poop mirrored is boob > s--- > pull s--- out of toilet > hold it up to mirror > technically holding boob > cya virgins

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Anon got bullied on the phone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/19(Fri)19:13:56 No.790346716 >be me >be 17 >be insecure loser >really cute girl in my s----- math class >try to talk to her >she actually talks to me >idea.exe 322 KB JPG >ask for her number >she gives it to me >call her late at night >she answers >with her friends >hear "who is it femanon" >she covers phone but not enough >"anon" >"is he the retarded one?" >they all laugh >i hang up phone and cry feels bad man
: Anonymous 01/18/19(Fri)19:13:56 No.790346716 >be me >be 17 >be insecure loser >really cute girl in my s----- math class >try to talk to her >she actually talks to me >idea.exe 322 KB JPG >ask for her number >she gives it to me >call her late at night >she answers >with her friends >hear "who is it femanon" >she covers phone but not enough >"anon" >"is he the retarded one?" >they all laugh >i hang up phone and cry feels bad man

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Anon on politics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)11:51:40 No.62891604 >we can totally create paradise on earth bro! >trust me, just believe in this ideology i pulled out my ass Why are politicsfags like this? 6 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)11:51:40 No.62891604 >we can totally create paradise on earth bro! >trust me, just believe in this ideology i pulled out my ass Why are politicsfags like this? 6 KB JPG

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Anon hates reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: gWCseQh2)I According to Reddit, exposing (...) 03/23/21(Tue)17:27:58 No.313381625 r/ukpolitics u/ukpolbot · 11h - Official UKPolitics B... 1 1 0 1 2 11 @7 3 15 3 8. 1 WELCOME BACK SUBREDDIT STATEMENT As you will have noticed, the moderators set the subreddit to private last night. This is not a decision we took lightly, but one that was made to protect both the users and moderators of O r/ukpolitics. A moderator posted an article from the Spectator - which contained a three-word mention, in passing, of a minor British public figure (expelled from both the Liberal Democrats and Green Party) - and was permanently suspended from Reddit (and later reinstated after we contacted the admins) for "doxxing" as a result. As we had no idea what had happened, or why posting this article resulted in a permanent suspension, we took the emergency step of making the subreddit private and immediately contacting the admins for clarification. We took this step to protect both the users of the subreddit, and ourselves, from further action by the Reddit admiteffleterbeeame apparent 1608396191465.png 1.51 MB PNG >a mod on ukpolitics posts an article about Aimee Challenor, a UK politician and t----- whose father was convincted for r--- and torture of children in 2018. Mod immediately banned from Reddit because said t----- apparently works as a Reddit admin. Therefore unlike cis male r----- politicians it's a hate crime to talk about this one's crimes and Reddit won't allow that.
: Anonymous (ID: gWCseQh2)I According to Reddit, exposing (...) 03/23/21(Tue)17:27:58 No.313381625 r/ukpolitics u/ukpolbot · 11h - Official UKPolitics B... 1 1 0 1 2 11 @7 3 15 3 8. 1 WELCOME BACK SUBREDDIT STATEMENT As you will have noticed, the moderators set the subreddit to private last night. This is not a decision we took lightly, but one that was made to protect both the users and moderators of O r/ukpolitics. A moderator posted an article from the Spectator - which contained a three-word mention, in passing, of a minor British public figure (expelled from both the Liberal Democrats and Green Party) - and was permanently suspended from Reddit (and later reinstated after we contacted the admins) for "doxxing" as a result. As we had no idea what had happened, or why posting this article resulted in a permanent suspension, we took the emergency step of making the subreddit private and immediately contacting the admins for clarification. We took this step to protect both the users of the subreddit, and ourselves, from further action by the Reddit admiteffleterbeeame apparent 1608396191465.png 1.51 MB PNG >a mod on ukpolitics posts an article about Aimee Challenor, a UK politician and t----- whose father was convincted for r--- and torture of children in 2018. Mod immediately banned from Reddit because said t----- apparently works as a Reddit admin. Therefore unlike cis male r----- politicians it's a hate crime to talk about this one's crimes and Reddit won't allow that.

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Anon be Greek | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)11:42:35 No.850386981 >be me >be Greek >get out of cannabis bath >look at stars >dude that looks like a fish and that's a bull >man comes up and asks questions >it's some weird existential s--- >f--- with him(both figuratively and literally) >be dead >be thousands of years later >girls use my trips to makeshift themselves a "personality" >mfw all they do is show how little personality they have 66
U Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)11:42:35 No.850386981 >be me >be Greek >get out of cannabis bath >look at stars >dude that looks like a fish and that's a bull >man comes up and asks questions >it's some weird existential s--- >f--- with him(both figuratively and literally) >be dead >be thousands of years later >girls use my trips to makeshift themselves a "personality" >mfw all they do is show how little personality they have 66

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Anon thinks they're becoming racist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)07:34:52 No.850394124 >be me >not racist >never immediately felt anything based on someones skin color >ex starts dating a black guy >p----- off at the very idea 86 KB JPG of a black guy now am i racist? did some untapped racism wel get awakened? guys i don't want to be racist
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)07:34:52 No.850394124 >be me >not racist >never immediately felt anything based on someones skin color >ex starts dating a black guy >p----- off at the very idea 86 KB JPG of a black guy now am i racist? did some untapped racism wel get awakened? guys i don't want to be racist

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Anons day gets ruined | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)10:12:54 No.62889099 >be me >want to have a nice day >decide to treat myself and blow my stimmy on nice stuff to release some dopamine >go to the mall >buy some videogames, some gifts for my favorite onlyfans girl, 8 KB JPG some nice clothes, eat as much as I want without giving a single s--- about getting fat, watch a movie now that theaters are open >life is good >buy a huge drink to enjoy on the bus back home >bus driver says he doesn't allow drinks in a cup on the bus and points to the trash can next to the bus stop >it's almost full, fellas >it's almost full.. Please give me a reason not to pull the f------ trigger right now I can't do this s--- anymore
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)10:12:54 No.62889099 >be me >want to have a nice day >decide to treat myself and blow my stimmy on nice stuff to release some dopamine >go to the mall >buy some videogames, some gifts for my favorite onlyfans girl, 8 KB JPG some nice clothes, eat as much as I want without giving a single s--- about getting fat, watch a movie now that theaters are open >life is good >buy a huge drink to enjoy on the bus back home >bus driver says he doesn't allow drinks in a cup on the bus and points to the trash can next to the bus stop >it's almost full, fellas >it's almost full.. Please give me a reason not to pull the f------ trigger right now I can't do this s--- anymore

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Anon becomes godfather | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)23:18:30 No.850343168 > live in kebab land > meet neighbour who larps as a mafia dude > always calls me to his "meetings" > always respectful and supporting even tho i barely speak kebab > introduces me to his friends who are 27 KB JPG also very respectful > they usually talk fast so i wont understand > they invite me to literal kebab parties > all like to act mafia like and big brother-ish > economic crash.exe > one day tell them i work online for USdes > all break character and start looking into tech s--- Month later > larping as investors while talking about btc and s--- > dude with the biggest investment has like 20$ in his account > I'm the biggest d--- in town with 100$ in shitcoins > they buy whayever i tell them to buy > all ask me for advice and talk extra slow so i can understand what they say I don't even like trading crypto that much but it's worth it fir the respect Pic related : Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)23:29:04 No.850344018 >>850343168 (OP) # This story is to retarded to be fake. Well done fren.
: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)23:18:30 No.850343168 > live in kebab land > meet neighbour who larps as a mafia dude > always calls me to his "meetings" > always respectful and supporting even tho i barely speak kebab > introduces me to his friends who are 27 KB JPG also very respectful > they usually talk fast so i wont understand > they invite me to literal kebab parties > all like to act mafia like and big brother-ish > economic crash.exe > one day tell them i work online for USdes > all break character and start looking into tech s--- Month later > larping as investors while talking about btc and s--- > dude with the biggest investment has like 20$ in his account > I'm the biggest d--- in town with 100$ in shitcoins > they buy whayever i tell them to buy > all ask me for advice and talk extra slow so i can understand what they say I don't even like trading crypto that much but it's worth it fir the respect Pic related : Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)23:29:04 No.850344018 >>850343168 (OP) # This story is to retarded to be fake. Well done fren.

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Anon is on a diet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)23:48:49 No.844011782 tenor (1).gif 136 KB GIF >'wow anon, you lost alot of weight' >'lookin good anon, i wish i could lose weight like that >whats your secret? Is it a diet? >yes, the 'i have no f------ money to buy sustenance' diet
: Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)23:48:49 No.844011782 tenor (1).gif 136 KB GIF >'wow anon, you lost alot of weight' >'lookin good anon, i wish i could lose weight like that >whats your secret? Is it a diet? >yes, the 'i have no f------ money to buy sustenance' diet

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Samsung Notes user hates bugs (and nails) | /r/Greentext

< Green text >Be me >Going to bed >Tired.jpg >Sees bug >Sneak.png >Smacks it >Not a bug >lt's a nail >Hand pain.mp5 >Get bandaid and go to bed >Wake up >See bug >Smacks it >Same nail pierces the bandaid and makes the original injury bigger >MFW 二T т 16. く>
< Green text >Be me >Going to bed >Tired.jpg >Sees bug >Sneak.png >Smacks it >Not a bug >lt's a nail >Hand pain.mp5 >Get bandaid and go to bed >Wake up >See bug >Smacks it >Same nail pierces the bandaid and makes the original injury bigger >MFW 二T т 16. く>

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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/21/20(Sat)14:32:58 No.61025172 >sleep for 12+ hours >wake up at noon >refresh the same few websites over and over again >do absolutely f------ nothing >start and try to play video game 360 KB PNG >quit after a few minutes because i cant even force myself to have fun with it anymore >continue refreshing 4chan and youtube for hours again occasionally watching a few youtube videos that look interesting and that i havent seen yet >go to sleep feeling like a tired corpse even though i havent done anything is this even a life anymore?
: Anonymous 11/21/20(Sat)14:32:58 No.61025172 >sleep for 12+ hours >wake up at noon >refresh the same few websites over and over again >do absolutely f------ nothing >start and try to play video game 360 KB PNG >quit after a few minutes because i cant even force myself to have fun with it anymore >continue refreshing 4chan and youtube for hours again occasionally watching a few youtube videos that look interesting and that i havent seen yet >go to sleep feeling like a tired corpse even though i havent done anything is this even a life anymore?

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The ultimate chad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/28/14(Fri)22:31:45 No.14904370 >Venturing into the s----tier province of Gaul. >Everyone here is as inbred as a Ptolomey. >No one wants to be there, not me or my army. 61 KB JPG >l'm as mad as a Carthaginian who hasn't had his daily baby sacrifice. >Vercingetorix is stirring up more s--- than Clodius at a woman's party. >l start kicking his ass all over Gaul. >Destroy his bitch ass army like they were post-Punic Macedon. >I let him see me. Vercingetorix decides to bend the knee and ask for mercy. >Vaevictus.paintedvase. >l add like hella territory to the great Republic, which I totally won't destroy. >C--- a bunch of puellas and vires. >l march back to Rome like a stone cold m----------- with Vercingetorix in tow. MFW the first letter of every sentence.
Anonymous 11/28/14(Fri)22:31:45 No.14904370 >Venturing into the s----tier province of Gaul. >Everyone here is as inbred as a Ptolomey. >No one wants to be there, not me or my army. 61 KB JPG >l'm as mad as a Carthaginian who hasn't had his daily baby sacrifice. >Vercingetorix is stirring up more s--- than Clodius at a woman's party. >l start kicking his ass all over Gaul. >Destroy his bitch ass army like they were post-Punic Macedon. >I let him see me. Vercingetorix decides to bend the knee and ask for mercy. >Vaevictus.paintedvase. >l add like hella territory to the great Republic, which I totally won't destroy. >C--- a bunch of puellas and vires. >l march back to Rome like a stone cold m----------- with Vercingetorix in tow. MFW the first letter of every sentence.

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Anon regrets his sexy time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)07:21:38 No.850292297 >Be me, virginfag 2013 >Sister invites me to play drunk monopoly with her new friend at her house >chubby 5/10 with nice eyes >we both smoke, two of us go outside for c-------- >drunk me flirts with her cause I was horny >she reciprocates >later on stay night on sister's sofa with her friend who also stayed the night >sexy time.jpg >wake up sober realise I harpooned a whale >next few days she keeps messaging me to do stuff with her >blow her off saying it was a one night stand and that I don't want to go out with her >She's hurt but understands, we remain friends but lose contact >present day >Looking up past flings/ex's on facebook cause im bored >See her >Slim 9/10 who's lost so much weight and is now really good looking I probably would've done something to f--- it up anyway but damm it I sure as hell lament on blowing her off
Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)07:21:38 No.850292297 >Be me, virginfag 2013 >Sister invites me to play drunk monopoly with her new friend at her house >chubby 5/10 with nice eyes >we both smoke, two of us go outside for c-------- >drunk me flirts with her cause I was horny >she reciprocates >later on stay night on sister's sofa with her friend who also stayed the night >sexy time.jpg >wake up sober realise I harpooned a whale >next few days she keeps messaging me to do stuff with her >blow her off saying it was a one night stand and that I don't want to go out with her >She's hurt but understands, we remain friends but lose contact >present day >Looking up past flings/ex's on facebook cause im bored >See her >Slim 9/10 who's lost so much weight and is now really good looking I probably would've done something to f--- it up anyway but damm it I sure as hell lament on blowing her off

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Anon's dad kills him | /r/Greentext

File: 1616388731549.png (333 KB, 1920x1920) Debates with Parents Anonymous (ID: Hlp4TSfA 03/24/21(Wed)01:57:46 No.313440094 ► >>313440280 >>313440345 >>313440449 >>313440558 >>313441060 >>313441691 >>313441739 >>313441827 >>313441848 >>313441880 >>313442527 >>313442676 >>313442842 >>313443952 >in fight with dad over gas prices and biden >call him a f------ liberal boomer >calls me "A Waste Of C--" i got completely btfo and demoralized i have no response to that i conceded and left to my room have you ever lost a debate against your parents?
File: 1616388731549.png (333 KB, 1920x1920) Debates with Parents Anonymous (ID: Hlp4TSfA 03/24/21(Wed)01:57:46 No.313440094 ► >>313440280 >>313440345 >>313440449 >>313440558 >>313441060 >>313441691 >>313441739 >>313441827 >>313441848 >>313441880 >>313442527 >>313442676 >>313442842 >>313443952 >in fight with dad over gas prices and biden >call him a f------ liberal boomer >calls me "A Waste Of C--" i got completely btfo and demoralized i have no response to that i conceded and left to my room have you ever lost a debate against your parents?

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Anon sails the high seas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/18(Thu)08:06:02 No.44044149 >Be me >Scurvy salty dog of the seas >Known as "Stilts" because of my two peg legs >Love being a pirate 9 KB JPG >Used to shovel s--- for a living >l hated shoveling s--- >Haven't had sex in 10 months >Last time I did was a wench from Tortuga >Made me p----- look a bit spotty >Just got done drinking twelve mugs of grog >l'm hammered and have blue balls >Would j-------, but have two hook hands >Notice one of me mates looking off into the distance, his back turned to me >Notice his plump derriere >DearLord.jpeg
: Anonymous 03/22/18(Thu)08:06:02 No.44044149 >Be me >Scurvy salty dog of the seas >Known as "Stilts" because of my two peg legs >Love being a pirate 9 KB JPG >Used to shovel s--- for a living >l hated shoveling s--- >Haven't had sex in 10 months >Last time I did was a wench from Tortuga >Made me p----- look a bit spotty >Just got done drinking twelve mugs of grog >l'm hammered and have blue balls >Would j-------, but have two hook hands >Notice one of me mates looking off into the distance, his back turned to me >Notice his plump derriere >DearLord.jpeg

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Who's lisping in 2021? | /r/Greentext

File: OIP.jpg (7 KB, 200x187) O Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)14:37:50 No.62850394 [Reply] >listening to song on youtube >scroll down to comments >"my kid had brain surgery..." f--- sake
File: OIP.jpg (7 KB, 200x187) O Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)14:37:50 No.62850394 [Reply] >listening to song on youtube >scroll down to comments >"my kid had brain surgery..." f--- sake

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anon had a stroke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/17(Thu)20:08:30 No.6050547 >be me >girl is smokeing >she weeds >smoke before sexual >Pencil in sharpener >police arrive >pretend to speak russian 42 KB JPG >sika bleeat >cops don't shhoot me >girl dies in jail >l did the deed >my face when face when my f when facle the fwhen thface mey face face when my
: Anonymous 11/23/17(Thu)20:08:30 No.6050547 >be me >girl is smokeing >she weeds >smoke before sexual >Pencil in sharpener >police arrive >pretend to speak russian 42 KB JPG >sika bleeat >cops don't shhoot me >girl dies in jail >l did the deed >my face when face when my f when facle the fwhen thface mey face face when my

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