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Anon finally discovers the truth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 49678806 43 mins ago .. >visit grandparents >walk by the kindergarten i attended 15 years ago >it says "for children with development delays" 32.6 kB PNG
Anonymous | 49678806 43 mins ago .. >visit grandparents >walk by the kindergarten i attended 15 years ago >it says "for children with development delays" 32.6 kB PNG

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Anon's mom finds the protein condoms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)09:57:42 No.58869702 >tfw mom found the protein condoms 28 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)10:35:50 No.58870137 the what? 51 KB JPG >>58871699 # Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)12:34:28 No.58871699 >>58870137 # mom thinks whey is drugs so my brother and i hide protein in the toilet water tank in condoms
: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)09:57:42 No.58869702 >tfw mom found the protein condoms 28 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)10:35:50 No.58870137 the what? 51 KB JPG >>58871699 # Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)12:34:28 No.58871699 >>58870137 # mom thinks whey is drugs so my brother and i hide protein in the toilet water tank in condoms

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Anon takes the chillpill. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)15:33:14 No.3847782 >Be me >Last summer >Walk around just in shorts without a top all summer >Becomes normal to me , clothes feel weird 234 KB PNG >Summer ends , still no clothes, don't feel cold >Still walking around in shorts and a vest in Winter >Fully climatized, weather doesn't bother me >Continue in -10° weather, still don't get cold >Try to wear a coat once , felt like a sauna , felt like I was going to pass out >Neveragain.exe >Everyone thinks i'm some subzero superhuman >Take the ChillPill
: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)15:33:14 No.3847782 >Be me >Last summer >Walk around just in shorts without a top all summer >Becomes normal to me , clothes feel weird 234 KB PNG >Summer ends , still no clothes, don't feel cold >Still walking around in shorts and a vest in Winter >Fully climatized, weather doesn't bother me >Continue in -10° weather, still don't get cold >Try to wear a coat once , felt like a sauna , felt like I was going to pass out >Neveragain.exe >Everyone thinks i'm some subzero superhuman >Take the ChillPill

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anon is a genius inventor | /r/Greentext

New type of Mene Stute Univesity SAD PEPE MD dr pepe fleshlight Anonymous 04/04/19 (Thu) 21:22:52 No.8788503 [Watch Thread] [Show All Posts] I mean if you really wanted something close to a living p---- I have suggestion. >acquire a cow or horse heart >I recommend cows >they are more readily available at butcher shops >Take a pair of jumper cables >attach them to the pulmenary artery and superior vena cavalry. >Apply salt to the surface and watch for the muscle contractions >now be sure the heart is fresh and/or has been stored in a cooler. >if not fresh you won't be able to get the muscles to contract >that ruins the whole experience. >get the battery pumping jolts through the muscles >gently insert your "shaft" into the inferior vena cava >feel the overwhelming ecstasy of pulsating, living organ you're penetrating. Just a suggestion.
New type of Mene Stute Univesity SAD PEPE MD dr pepe fleshlight Anonymous 04/04/19 (Thu) 21:22:52 No.8788503 [Watch Thread] [Show All Posts] I mean if you really wanted something close to a living p---- I have suggestion. >acquire a cow or horse heart >I recommend cows >they are more readily available at butcher shops >Take a pair of jumper cables >attach them to the pulmenary artery and superior vena cavalry. >Apply salt to the surface and watch for the muscle contractions >now be sure the heart is fresh and/or has been stored in a cooler. >if not fresh you won't be able to get the muscles to contract >that ruins the whole experience. >get the battery pumping jolts through the muscles >gently insert your "shaft" into the inferior vena cava >feel the overwhelming ecstasy of pulsating, living organ you're penetrating. Just a suggestion.

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Anon is in Smash | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)21:02:32 No.429680034 >be me >18 year old >go to a comic convention >go to a cosplay competition >dressed as a doom fighter >next to me is a samus cosplayer 193 KB PNG >very hot so I take of my helmet >she takes off her helmet >9/10 >we have a conversation >she invites me to her home >sexytime.jpg >she plays a loop of f-zero music >have sex to it >clean up >mfw she says to me that she is 25 >mfw she said that her roommate should be here >mfw I hear someone fapping in the corner
: Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)21:02:32 No.429680034 >be me >18 year old >go to a comic convention >go to a cosplay competition >dressed as a doom fighter >next to me is a samus cosplayer 193 KB PNG >very hot so I take of my helmet >she takes off her helmet >9/10 >we have a conversation >she invites me to her home >sexytime.jpg >she plays a loop of f-zero music >have sex to it >clean up >mfw she says to me that she is 25 >mfw she said that her roommate should be here >mfw I hear someone fapping in the corner

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Anon doesn't care | /r/Greentext

ID: /yxYQ/7w No.313465944 42 minutes ago 234354454534.jpg JPG 20.0 KiB 474x407 United States >HE'S A WHITE CHUD >HE'S A MUSLIM LEFTIE >NO HE WASN'T >YES HE WAS Aren't we forgetting that 10 people were killed? Isn't that more important? 15 replies ID: bSVFiNfq No.313466238 38 minutes ago 1612035221364.jpg JPG 47.4 KiB 1280x720 Confederate >>313465944 (OP) >Isn't that more important? No. ...
ID: /yxYQ/7w No.313465944 42 minutes ago 234354454534.jpg JPG 20.0 KiB 474x407 United States >HE'S A WHITE CHUD >HE'S A MUSLIM LEFTIE >NO HE WASN'T >YES HE WAS Aren't we forgetting that 10 people were killed? Isn't that more important? 15 replies ID: bSVFiNfq No.313466238 38 minutes ago 1612035221364.jpg JPG 47.4 KiB 1280x720 Confederate >>313465944 (OP) >Isn't that more important? No. ...

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Private Enemy #1 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)21:01:57 No.62886417 >wake up at 0500 hours >roll onto side, open thinkpad T530 >open /ck/ >post "not my problem" oil in drain thread 2 KB JPG >open /tv/ >post sneed's (formerly chucks) thread >open /fit/ >start nieceposting >open /gif/ >post 12 BBC trap boy p---- threads >open /biz/ >post pooh shiesty and spotemgottem (need it or keep it) >banned by 0515 >restart router >recalibrate IP >reengage the jannies
: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)21:01:57 No.62886417 >wake up at 0500 hours >roll onto side, open thinkpad T530 >open /ck/ >post "not my problem" oil in drain thread 2 KB JPG >open /tv/ >post sneed's (formerly chucks) thread >open /fit/ >start nieceposting >open /gif/ >post 12 BBC trap boy p---- threads >open /biz/ >post pooh shiesty and spotemgottem (need it or keep it) >banned by 0515 >restart router >recalibrate IP >reengage the jannies

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Anon has a side project | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)19:46:32 No.850412728 >read story about ancient Shigir Idol >idea.mp3 >Go to Home Depot, get 2x4s, 5 buckets of plaster >build frame, fill it wet plaster >take off clothes lay face down in plaster >make imprint of naked body >use carved firewood log to make penis imprint 5x larger >let plaster cast dry >bury it in backyard >mfw 15,000 years later future archeologists will discovery my body and think all ancient humans had giant d----.
Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)19:46:32 No.850412728 >read story about ancient Shigir Idol >idea.mp3 >Go to Home Depot, get 2x4s, 5 buckets of plaster >build frame, fill it wet plaster >take off clothes lay face down in plaster >make imprint of naked body >use carved firewood log to make penis imprint 5x larger >let plaster cast dry >bury it in backyard >mfw 15,000 years later future archeologists will discovery my body and think all ancient humans had giant d----.

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Premature articulation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:51:56 No.62902152 >>62897044 (OP) # >have to do a presentation >in front of the whole class >it's being recorded >get up and and immediately start talking 21 KB JPG >i'm sweating >talking a million miles an hour >people are sniggering because l'm talking so quickly >get through a 5 minute presentation in half the time >finish and look at the teacher "Umm, that was great anon, but I hadn't started recording yet." >class erupts into laughter F------ bitch. Why didn't you just stop me? Women, I swear.
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:51:56 No.62902152 >>62897044 (OP) # >have to do a presentation >in front of the whole class >it's being recorded >get up and and immediately start talking 21 KB JPG >i'm sweating >talking a million miles an hour >people are sniggering because l'm talking so quickly >get through a 5 minute presentation in half the time >finish and look at the teacher "Umm, that was great anon, but I hadn't started recording yet." >class erupts into laughter F------ bitch. Why didn't you just stop me? Women, I swear.

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Anon finds a drunk streamer. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)06:45:38 No.62906524 >watching random twitch streamer >50 viewers >petite with big fat t--- and super cute asian that's actually half decent at quake champions 148 KB JPG >she's also very drunk >hoping her t--- fall out of the lacy, loose pink thing she's wearing that makes it obvious she's got no bra on >stands up and starts bouncing around >praying to god to see those milkers >she knocks her glass over instead >stream dies >her drink poured from her desk straight into her computer
: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)06:45:38 No.62906524 >watching random twitch streamer >50 viewers >petite with big fat t--- and super cute asian that's actually half decent at quake champions 148 KB JPG >she's also very drunk >hoping her t--- fall out of the lacy, loose pink thing she's wearing that makes it obvious she's got no bra on >stands up and starts bouncing around >praying to god to see those milkers >she knocks her glass over instead >stream dies >her drink poured from her desk straight into her computer

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Anon is a NEET | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4 minutes ago 850458031 >be me, 23 year old NEET >wake up at 6pm after a night of continuous pee pee playtime to sonic lewds (amy is so hot) >i feel hungry, so i walk to where mommy is >"mommy! mommy! macky dee yum yum time!" >a tear falls from her eye, obviously from my great idea >we get in the car, she gags from the smell of bleach and onions from my body >i ordered 20 nuggets and a big mac >i snack on the nuggets on our way home, spilling honey mustard sauce everywhere >"nuggie nuggie snacky time!"i chant >mommy sobs from my poetry >we pull into the garage >mommy said to go on ahead >she closes the garage door with car running >silly mommy wasting gas >i go to my room to eat my big mac and watch gumball >nichole is so hot Anonymous 2 minutes ago 850458118 Reddit tier.
Anonymous 4 minutes ago 850458031 >be me, 23 year old NEET >wake up at 6pm after a night of continuous pee pee playtime to sonic lewds (amy is so hot) >i feel hungry, so i walk to where mommy is >"mommy! mommy! macky dee yum yum time!" >a tear falls from her eye, obviously from my great idea >we get in the car, she gags from the smell of bleach and onions from my body >i ordered 20 nuggets and a big mac >i snack on the nuggets on our way home, spilling honey mustard sauce everywhere >"nuggie nuggie snacky time!"i chant >mommy sobs from my poetry >we pull into the garage >mommy said to go on ahead >she closes the garage door with car running >silly mommy wasting gas >i go to my room to eat my big mac and watch gumball >nichole is so hot Anonymous 2 minutes ago 850458118 Reddit tier.

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Anon is a clown | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)20:40:49 No.850446107 >be me >at s----- gas station and have to poop >try men's door f--- it's locked >try women's door >it's my lucky day 57 KB JPG >start s------- aggressively >halfway through someone tries the door ohgodohfuck.jpg >in a falsetto say “one minute please" >quickly do my makeup since I do drag occasionally >look like a h----- on coke who is physically assaulted on the regular >open door without washing hands >fembot standing there looking flabbergasted/aroused >hurry out of there ASAP Being a f----- paid off again : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)20:44:33 No.850446355 >Excuse me for using this bathroom, but the men's one was utterly disgusting. I'll try to make it quick. >"Understandable, take your time, OP." That would be the good ending, OP. Instead you just exited looking like a clown.
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)20:40:49 No.850446107 >be me >at s----- gas station and have to poop >try men's door f--- it's locked >try women's door >it's my lucky day 57 KB JPG >start s------- aggressively >halfway through someone tries the door ohgodohfuck.jpg >in a falsetto say “one minute please" >quickly do my makeup since I do drag occasionally >look like a h----- on coke who is physically assaulted on the regular >open door without washing hands >fembot standing there looking flabbergasted/aroused >hurry out of there ASAP Being a f----- paid off again : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)20:44:33 No.850446355 >Excuse me for using this bathroom, but the men's one was utterly disgusting. I'll try to make it quick. >"Understandable, take your time, OP." That would be the good ending, OP. Instead you just exited looking like a clown.

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Anon is a simp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)06:36:42 No.62906454 045.jpg 21 KB JPG >watching small twitch streamer >its a qt >10 viewers >randomly some dude pops in donates $150 Daily reminder women have it made
: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)06:36:42 No.62906454 045.jpg 21 KB JPG >watching small twitch streamer >its a qt >10 viewers >randomly some dude pops in donates $150 Daily reminder women have it made

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Anon dislikes communism | /r/Greentext

e: 1586876452187.jpg (76 KB, 653x590) O ITT: Your first redpilll Anonymous (ID: S8kqOb/H) I1 03/24/21(Wed)15:17:43 No.313469175 > >>313469426 > >>313472841 >>313472911 >313473138 >>313473463 >>313473532 >>313473632 >>313473653 >>313473952 >>313474188 >>313474488 >>313478366 >>313478537 >>313478746 >>313479595 >>313479635 >>313479713 >>313479789 >>313479863 >>313480384 >Be in preschool, 4 or 5 >Easter Egg hunt >I murder that s---, my easter bag is overflowing with eggs while all the s--- slow children barely filled theirs halfway >Go home >come back the next day >my bounty of Easter Eggs have been evenly distributed to all the other bags of the children who didn't earn them
e: 1586876452187.jpg (76 KB, 653x590) O ITT: Your first redpilll Anonymous (ID: S8kqOb/H) I1 03/24/21(Wed)15:17:43 No.313469175 > >>313469426 > >>313472841 >>313472911 >313473138 >>313473463 >>313473532 >>313473632 >>313473653 >>313473952 >>313474188 >>313474488 >>313478366 >>313478537 >>313478746 >>313479595 >>313479635 >>313479713 >>313479789 >>313479863 >>313480384 >Be in preschool, 4 or 5 >Easter Egg hunt >I murder that s---, my easter bag is overflowing with eggs while all the s--- slow children barely filled theirs halfway >Go home >come back the next day >my bounty of Easter Eggs have been evenly distributed to all the other bags of the children who didn't earn them

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Anon looks to his left | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)14:54:47 No.850416726 >be 18 year old high school senior >whole class was tasked with doing a research project on anything from the Elizabethan era >doing my source cards >kinda tired of doin em 203 KB JPG >sit back in my chair and look to my left >see furry p--- >wait what the f--- >the autistic kid is looking at furry p--- on his laptop >not even trying to hide it, it's in plain view of everyone on my side of the class to see >the teacher is on my side of the class >she doesn't do s--- about it, there's no way she doesn't see this >how the f--- did he even access it on the school's wifi? >see the deviant art logo at the corner of his laptop, that explains it >see the guy beside me texting his friend on Instagram about it >he doesn't stop browsing for the rest of the 25 minutes we had left of class >mfw the entire time It doesn't sound super exciting, you just had to be there, caught me the f--- off guard
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)14:54:47 No.850416726 >be 18 year old high school senior >whole class was tasked with doing a research project on anything from the Elizabethan era >doing my source cards >kinda tired of doin em 203 KB JPG >sit back in my chair and look to my left >see furry p--- >wait what the f--- >the autistic kid is looking at furry p--- on his laptop >not even trying to hide it, it's in plain view of everyone on my side of the class to see >the teacher is on my side of the class >she doesn't do s--- about it, there's no way she doesn't see this >how the f--- did he even access it on the school's wifi? >see the deviant art logo at the corner of his laptop, that explains it >see the guy beside me texting his friend on Instagram about it >he doesn't stop browsing for the rest of the 25 minutes we had left of class >mfw the entire time It doesn't sound super exciting, you just had to be there, caught me the f--- off guard

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Anon may have it better than us | /r/Greentext

File: gigachad smile.jpg (89 KB, 986x761) Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)19:54:37 No.850405450 >>850405661 >be you >good chance you're a n----- >be me >100% not a n----- >mfw statistically I have it better than you >> Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)19:57:40 No.850405661 File: project 6.jpg (46 KB, 300x300) >>850405450 (OP) >be you >good chance you're a f----- >be me >100% not a f----- >mfw statistically I have it better than you Waiting for bid.glass..
File: gigachad smile.jpg (89 KB, 986x761) Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)19:54:37 No.850405450 >>850405661 >be you >good chance you're a n----- >be me >100% not a n----- >mfw statistically I have it better than you >> Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)19:57:40 No.850405661 File: project 6.jpg (46 KB, 300x300) >>850405450 (OP) >be you >good chance you're a f----- >be me >100% not a f----- >mfw statistically I have it better than you Waiting for bid.glass..

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Anon gets cucked by the government | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:02:14 No.850417166 >be me, male >college student living in s----- college town >administration and local government suddenly suggest 6 PM curfew for men so that "women can walk around 19 KB JPG safely at night" what do /b/? : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:03:23 No.850417226 Test
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:02:14 No.850417166 >be me, male >college student living in s----- college town >administration and local government suddenly suggest 6 PM curfew for men so that "women can walk around 19 KB JPG safely at night" what do /b/? : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:03:23 No.850417226 Test

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Anon hates communism | /r/Greentext

>Be in preschool, 4 or 5 >Easter Egg hunt >l murder that s---, my easter bag is overflowing with eggs while all the s--- slow children barely filled theirs halfway >Go home >come back the next day >my bounty of Easter Eggs have been evenly distributed to all the other bags of the children who 76 KB JPG didn't earn them
>Be in preschool, 4 or 5 >Easter Egg hunt >l murder that s---, my easter bag is overflowing with eggs while all the s--- slow children barely filled theirs halfway >Go home >come back the next day >my bounty of Easter Eggs have been evenly distributed to all the other bags of the children who 76 KB JPG didn't earn them

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Anon tells the time | /r/Greentext

1418776509444.jpg 10 KB JPG >normie asks me the time >"i dont know" >"look at your watch" >look at her right in the eyes >"no"
1418776509444.jpg 10 KB JPG >normie asks me the time >"i dont know" >"look at your watch" >look at her right in the eyes >"no"

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Anon is in paris | /r/Greentext

>be me >black >chilling with 3 of my friends >one of them decides to call a h----- >awesome.jpg >few hours later 78 KB JPG >hear door knock >h----- walks in >ask what her name is >"my name is paris" >hot >we all go down on her at the same time >all three of us are in each one of her holes >we all look at eachother >realization >n----- in paris
>be me >black >chilling with 3 of my friends >one of them decides to call a h----- >awesome.jpg >few hours later 78 KB JPG >hear door knock >h----- walks in >ask what her name is >"my name is paris" >hot >we all go down on her at the same time >all three of us are in each one of her holes >we all look at eachother >realization >n----- in paris

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