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Private Enemy #1 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)21:01:57 No.62886417 >wake up at 0500 hours >roll onto side, open thinkpad T530 >open /ck/ >post "not my problem" oil in drain thread 2 KB JPG >open /tv/ >post sneed's (formerly chucks) thread >open /fit/ >start nieceposting >open /gif/ >post 12 BBC trap boy p---- threads >open /biz/ >post pooh shiesty and spotemgottem (need it or keep it) >banned by 0515 >restart router >recalibrate IP >reengage the jannies
: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)21:01:57 No.62886417 >wake up at 0500 hours >roll onto side, open thinkpad T530 >open /ck/ >post "not my problem" oil in drain thread 2 KB JPG >open /tv/ >post sneed's (formerly chucks) thread >open /fit/ >start nieceposting >open /gif/ >post 12 BBC trap boy p---- threads >open /biz/ >post pooh shiesty and spotemgottem (need it or keep it) >banned by 0515 >restart router >recalibrate IP >reengage the jannies

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Anon has a side project | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)19:46:32 No.850412728 >read story about ancient Shigir Idol >idea.mp3 >Go to Home Depot, get 2x4s, 5 buckets of plaster >build frame, fill it wet plaster >take off clothes lay face down in plaster >make imprint of naked body >use carved firewood log to make penis imprint 5x larger >let plaster cast dry >bury it in backyard >mfw 15,000 years later future archeologists will discovery my body and think all ancient humans had giant d----.
Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)19:46:32 No.850412728 >read story about ancient Shigir Idol >idea.mp3 >Go to Home Depot, get 2x4s, 5 buckets of plaster >build frame, fill it wet plaster >take off clothes lay face down in plaster >make imprint of naked body >use carved firewood log to make penis imprint 5x larger >let plaster cast dry >bury it in backyard >mfw 15,000 years later future archeologists will discovery my body and think all ancient humans had giant d----.

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Premature articulation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:51:56 No.62902152 >>62897044 (OP) # >have to do a presentation >in front of the whole class >it's being recorded >get up and and immediately start talking 21 KB JPG >i'm sweating >talking a million miles an hour >people are sniggering because l'm talking so quickly >get through a 5 minute presentation in half the time >finish and look at the teacher "Umm, that was great anon, but I hadn't started recording yet." >class erupts into laughter F------ bitch. Why didn't you just stop me? Women, I swear.
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:51:56 No.62902152 >>62897044 (OP) # >have to do a presentation >in front of the whole class >it's being recorded >get up and and immediately start talking 21 KB JPG >i'm sweating >talking a million miles an hour >people are sniggering because l'm talking so quickly >get through a 5 minute presentation in half the time >finish and look at the teacher "Umm, that was great anon, but I hadn't started recording yet." >class erupts into laughter F------ bitch. Why didn't you just stop me? Women, I swear.

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Anon finds a drunk streamer. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)06:45:38 No.62906524 >watching random twitch streamer >50 viewers >petite with big fat t--- and super cute asian that's actually half decent at quake champions 148 KB JPG >she's also very drunk >hoping her t--- fall out of the lacy, loose pink thing she's wearing that makes it obvious she's got no bra on >stands up and starts bouncing around >praying to god to see those milkers >she knocks her glass over instead >stream dies >her drink poured from her desk straight into her computer
: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)06:45:38 No.62906524 >watching random twitch streamer >50 viewers >petite with big fat t--- and super cute asian that's actually half decent at quake champions 148 KB JPG >she's also very drunk >hoping her t--- fall out of the lacy, loose pink thing she's wearing that makes it obvious she's got no bra on >stands up and starts bouncing around >praying to god to see those milkers >she knocks her glass over instead >stream dies >her drink poured from her desk straight into her computer

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Anon is a NEET | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4 minutes ago 850458031 >be me, 23 year old NEET >wake up at 6pm after a night of continuous pee pee playtime to sonic lewds (amy is so hot) >i feel hungry, so i walk to where mommy is >"mommy! mommy! macky dee yum yum time!" >a tear falls from her eye, obviously from my great idea >we get in the car, she gags from the smell of bleach and onions from my body >i ordered 20 nuggets and a big mac >i snack on the nuggets on our way home, spilling honey mustard sauce everywhere >"nuggie nuggie snacky time!"i chant >mommy sobs from my poetry >we pull into the garage >mommy said to go on ahead >she closes the garage door with car running >silly mommy wasting gas >i go to my room to eat my big mac and watch gumball >nichole is so hot Anonymous 2 minutes ago 850458118 Reddit tier.
Anonymous 4 minutes ago 850458031 >be me, 23 year old NEET >wake up at 6pm after a night of continuous pee pee playtime to sonic lewds (amy is so hot) >i feel hungry, so i walk to where mommy is >"mommy! mommy! macky dee yum yum time!" >a tear falls from her eye, obviously from my great idea >we get in the car, she gags from the smell of bleach and onions from my body >i ordered 20 nuggets and a big mac >i snack on the nuggets on our way home, spilling honey mustard sauce everywhere >"nuggie nuggie snacky time!"i chant >mommy sobs from my poetry >we pull into the garage >mommy said to go on ahead >she closes the garage door with car running >silly mommy wasting gas >i go to my room to eat my big mac and watch gumball >nichole is so hot Anonymous 2 minutes ago 850458118 Reddit tier.

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Anon is a clown | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)20:40:49 No.850446107 >be me >at s----- gas station and have to poop >try men's door f--- it's locked >try women's door >it's my lucky day 57 KB JPG >start s------- aggressively >halfway through someone tries the door ohgodohfuck.jpg >in a falsetto say “one minute please" >quickly do my makeup since I do drag occasionally >look like a h----- on coke who is physically assaulted on the regular >open door without washing hands >fembot standing there looking flabbergasted/aroused >hurry out of there ASAP Being a f----- paid off again : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)20:44:33 No.850446355 >Excuse me for using this bathroom, but the men's one was utterly disgusting. I'll try to make it quick. >"Understandable, take your time, OP." That would be the good ending, OP. Instead you just exited looking like a clown.
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)20:40:49 No.850446107 >be me >at s----- gas station and have to poop >try men's door f--- it's locked >try women's door >it's my lucky day 57 KB JPG >start s------- aggressively >halfway through someone tries the door ohgodohfuck.jpg >in a falsetto say “one minute please" >quickly do my makeup since I do drag occasionally >look like a h----- on coke who is physically assaulted on the regular >open door without washing hands >fembot standing there looking flabbergasted/aroused >hurry out of there ASAP Being a f----- paid off again : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)20:44:33 No.850446355 >Excuse me for using this bathroom, but the men's one was utterly disgusting. I'll try to make it quick. >"Understandable, take your time, OP." That would be the good ending, OP. Instead you just exited looking like a clown.

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Anon is a simp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)06:36:42 No.62906454 045.jpg 21 KB JPG >watching small twitch streamer >its a qt >10 viewers >randomly some dude pops in donates $150 Daily reminder women have it made
: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)06:36:42 No.62906454 045.jpg 21 KB JPG >watching small twitch streamer >its a qt >10 viewers >randomly some dude pops in donates $150 Daily reminder women have it made

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Anon dislikes communism | /r/Greentext

e: 1586876452187.jpg (76 KB, 653x590) O ITT: Your first redpilll Anonymous (ID: S8kqOb/H) I1 03/24/21(Wed)15:17:43 No.313469175 > >>313469426 > >>313472841 >>313472911 >313473138 >>313473463 >>313473532 >>313473632 >>313473653 >>313473952 >>313474188 >>313474488 >>313478366 >>313478537 >>313478746 >>313479595 >>313479635 >>313479713 >>313479789 >>313479863 >>313480384 >Be in preschool, 4 or 5 >Easter Egg hunt >I murder that s---, my easter bag is overflowing with eggs while all the s--- slow children barely filled theirs halfway >Go home >come back the next day >my bounty of Easter Eggs have been evenly distributed to all the other bags of the children who didn't earn them
e: 1586876452187.jpg (76 KB, 653x590) O ITT: Your first redpilll Anonymous (ID: S8kqOb/H) I1 03/24/21(Wed)15:17:43 No.313469175 > >>313469426 > >>313472841 >>313472911 >313473138 >>313473463 >>313473532 >>313473632 >>313473653 >>313473952 >>313474188 >>313474488 >>313478366 >>313478537 >>313478746 >>313479595 >>313479635 >>313479713 >>313479789 >>313479863 >>313480384 >Be in preschool, 4 or 5 >Easter Egg hunt >I murder that s---, my easter bag is overflowing with eggs while all the s--- slow children barely filled theirs halfway >Go home >come back the next day >my bounty of Easter Eggs have been evenly distributed to all the other bags of the children who didn't earn them

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Anon looks to his left | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)14:54:47 No.850416726 >be 18 year old high school senior >whole class was tasked with doing a research project on anything from the Elizabethan era >doing my source cards >kinda tired of doin em 203 KB JPG >sit back in my chair and look to my left >see furry p--- >wait what the f--- >the autistic kid is looking at furry p--- on his laptop >not even trying to hide it, it's in plain view of everyone on my side of the class to see >the teacher is on my side of the class >she doesn't do s--- about it, there's no way she doesn't see this >how the f--- did he even access it on the school's wifi? >see the deviant art logo at the corner of his laptop, that explains it >see the guy beside me texting his friend on Instagram about it >he doesn't stop browsing for the rest of the 25 minutes we had left of class >mfw the entire time It doesn't sound super exciting, you just had to be there, caught me the f--- off guard
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)14:54:47 No.850416726 >be 18 year old high school senior >whole class was tasked with doing a research project on anything from the Elizabethan era >doing my source cards >kinda tired of doin em 203 KB JPG >sit back in my chair and look to my left >see furry p--- >wait what the f--- >the autistic kid is looking at furry p--- on his laptop >not even trying to hide it, it's in plain view of everyone on my side of the class to see >the teacher is on my side of the class >she doesn't do s--- about it, there's no way she doesn't see this >how the f--- did he even access it on the school's wifi? >see the deviant art logo at the corner of his laptop, that explains it >see the guy beside me texting his friend on Instagram about it >he doesn't stop browsing for the rest of the 25 minutes we had left of class >mfw the entire time It doesn't sound super exciting, you just had to be there, caught me the f--- off guard

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Anon may have it better than us | /r/Greentext

File: gigachad smile.jpg (89 KB, 986x761) Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)19:54:37 No.850405450 >>850405661 >be you >good chance you're a n----- >be me >100% not a n----- >mfw statistically I have it better than you >> Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)19:57:40 No.850405661 File: project 6.jpg (46 KB, 300x300) >>850405450 (OP) >be you >good chance you're a f----- >be me >100% not a f----- >mfw statistically I have it better than you Waiting for bid.glass..
File: gigachad smile.jpg (89 KB, 986x761) Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)19:54:37 No.850405450 >>850405661 >be you >good chance you're a n----- >be me >100% not a n----- >mfw statistically I have it better than you >> Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)19:57:40 No.850405661 File: project 6.jpg (46 KB, 300x300) >>850405450 (OP) >be you >good chance you're a f----- >be me >100% not a f----- >mfw statistically I have it better than you Waiting for bid.glass..

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Anon gets cucked by the government | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:02:14 No.850417166 >be me, male >college student living in s----- college town >administration and local government suddenly suggest 6 PM curfew for men so that "women can walk around 19 KB JPG safely at night" what do /b/? : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:03:23 No.850417226 Test
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:02:14 No.850417166 >be me, male >college student living in s----- college town >administration and local government suddenly suggest 6 PM curfew for men so that "women can walk around 19 KB JPG safely at night" what do /b/? : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:03:23 No.850417226 Test

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Anon hates communism | /r/Greentext

>Be in preschool, 4 or 5 >Easter Egg hunt >l murder that s---, my easter bag is overflowing with eggs while all the s--- slow children barely filled theirs halfway >Go home >come back the next day >my bounty of Easter Eggs have been evenly distributed to all the other bags of the children who 76 KB JPG didn't earn them
>Be in preschool, 4 or 5 >Easter Egg hunt >l murder that s---, my easter bag is overflowing with eggs while all the s--- slow children barely filled theirs halfway >Go home >come back the next day >my bounty of Easter Eggs have been evenly distributed to all the other bags of the children who 76 KB JPG didn't earn them

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Anon tells the time | /r/Greentext

1418776509444.jpg 10 KB JPG >normie asks me the time >"i dont know" >"look at your watch" >look at her right in the eyes >"no"
1418776509444.jpg 10 KB JPG >normie asks me the time >"i dont know" >"look at your watch" >look at her right in the eyes >"no"

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Anon is in paris | /r/Greentext

>be me >black >chilling with 3 of my friends >one of them decides to call a h----- >awesome.jpg >few hours later 78 KB JPG >hear door knock >h----- walks in >ask what her name is >"my name is paris" >hot >we all go down on her at the same time >all three of us are in each one of her holes >we all look at eachother >realization >n----- in paris
>be me >black >chilling with 3 of my friends >one of them decides to call a h----- >awesome.jpg >few hours later 78 KB JPG >hear door knock >h----- walks in >ask what her name is >"my name is paris" >hot >we all go down on her at the same time >all three of us are in each one of her holes >we all look at eachother >realization >n----- in paris

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Anon the entrepreneur | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 10/13/20(Tue)23:00:30 No.837830448 >be me >17 >male >broke af >think of ways to make easy 19 KB PNG money >remember hearing about girls selling feet pics on OnlyFans >look at my feet >notice how feminine they look idea.jpg few weeks later >turn 18 >download OnlyFans on my phone >setup billing information and s--- >shave off all hair on my feet and lower legs >take pictures of feet >horny retards start paying monthly subscriptions for my feet >starts off slow but eventually start making decent money tfw I realize many grown men have nutted to my feet >doesn't matter, now financially stable
| Anonymous 10/13/20(Tue)23:00:30 No.837830448 >be me >17 >male >broke af >think of ways to make easy 19 KB PNG money >remember hearing about girls selling feet pics on OnlyFans >look at my feet >notice how feminine they look idea.jpg few weeks later >turn 18 >download OnlyFans on my phone >setup billing information and s--- >shave off all hair on my feet and lower legs >take pictures of feet >horny retards start paying monthly subscriptions for my feet >starts off slow but eventually start making decent money tfw I realize many grown men have nutted to my feet >doesn't matter, now financially stable

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Butter face | /r/Greentext


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Anon almost gets trips | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/18(Tue)20:36:46 No.772682001 >At a hotel >Living off heavy meat and fat diet >Farts are outrageous >Seriously, they'd strip the makeup off a clown >Get idea 85 KB PNG >Fart in bed all night, don't waft blanket at all >In the morning I shifted out of the bed without disturbing the natural pocket of air >Came back today, the blanket and sheet were flipped back, new towels were just dropped on the corner of the bed and nothing else had been done I think the maid got a full dose of my fart and abandoned ship, sleeper dutch ovens are real.
: Anonymous 06/26/18(Tue)20:36:46 No.772682001 >At a hotel >Living off heavy meat and fat diet >Farts are outrageous >Seriously, they'd strip the makeup off a clown >Get idea 85 KB PNG >Fart in bed all night, don't waft blanket at all >In the morning I shifted out of the bed without disturbing the natural pocket of air >Came back today, the blanket and sheet were flipped back, new towels were just dropped on the corner of the bed and nothing else had been done I think the maid got a full dose of my fart and abandoned ship, sleeper dutch ovens are real.

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anon hates his job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/12/20(Thu)21:50:40 No.531927731 >be a worker at bestbuy >thugs walk up to you and demand a ps5 at gunpoint >give them a ps5 >now they demand ps5 games >start sweating How do I get out of this kind of situation? >>531927895 # >>531928186 # >>531928358 # >>531928457 # >>531930603 # >>531931185 # >>531931478 # >>531931753 # >>531931794 # >>531932054 # >>531932113 # >>531932414 # >>531932590 # >>531932652 # >>531933076 # >>531933098 # >>531933398 # >>531933435 # >>531933762 # >>531934851 # >>531935420 # >>531935546 # >>531935615 # >>531935721 # >>531936032 # >>531937380 # >>531937662 # >>531938048 #
: Anonymous 11/12/20(Thu)21:50:40 No.531927731 >be a worker at bestbuy >thugs walk up to you and demand a ps5 at gunpoint >give them a ps5 >now they demand ps5 games >start sweating How do I get out of this kind of situation? >>531927895 # >>531928186 # >>531928358 # >>531928457 # >>531930603 # >>531931185 # >>531931478 # >>531931753 # >>531931794 # >>531932054 # >>531932113 # >>531932414 # >>531932590 # >>531932652 # >>531933076 # >>531933098 # >>531933398 # >>531933435 # >>531933762 # >>531934851 # >>531935420 # >>531935546 # >>531935615 # >>531935721 # >>531936032 # >>531937380 # >>531937662 # >>531938048 #

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Rollin' with my homies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)16:52:32 No.850420505 Oldfags why were the 90's so good? 938 KB JPG 177 Replies / 38 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:41:19 No.850441458 : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:43:41 No.850441644 : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:51:45 No.850442338 >>850420505 (OP) # >It's Friday. F--- yeah! >Just spent the entire summer day running around your neighborhood on your bike playing with friends >Completely disconnected from 369 KB PNG the world outside of what you were doing with the your friends because no internet everywhere and no phone in anyone's pocket >Time to to home >Starving because playing all day >Dad gets home from work and parents decide to go to Country Buffet for dinner >F--- yeah, all you can eat mac-n-cheese! >Put on your nicest pair of jncos >Your baggiest t-shirt >Everyone hop into the Ford Contour and off to the buffet >Set world record for most number of buffalo wings eaten by a 10 year old in one sitting >Parents decide it's a good weekend to rent some movies >Back into the Countour for the short ride to Blockbuster Video >Dad picks The Shawshank Redemption >Mom picks Nell >You pick The Mask >Also popcorn >And crystal pepsi >TFW future generations will never know
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)16:52:32 No.850420505 Oldfags why were the 90's so good? 938 KB JPG 177 Replies / 38 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:41:19 No.850441458 : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:43:41 No.850441644 : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:51:45 No.850442338 >>850420505 (OP) # >It's Friday. F--- yeah! >Just spent the entire summer day running around your neighborhood on your bike playing with friends >Completely disconnected from 369 KB PNG the world outside of what you were doing with the your friends because no internet everywhere and no phone in anyone's pocket >Time to to home >Starving because playing all day >Dad gets home from work and parents decide to go to Country Buffet for dinner >F--- yeah, all you can eat mac-n-cheese! >Put on your nicest pair of jncos >Your baggiest t-shirt >Everyone hop into the Ford Contour and off to the buffet >Set world record for most number of buffalo wings eaten by a 10 year old in one sitting >Parents decide it's a good weekend to rent some movies >Back into the Countour for the short ride to Blockbuster Video >Dad picks The Shawshank Redemption >Mom picks Nell >You pick The Mask >Also popcorn >And crystal pepsi >TFW future generations will never know

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What a dumbass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/19(Tue)00:12:03 No.718566 >Literally have a general named France Holder >Don't use him to hold France God, Hitler was a dumbass RINN 40 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/03/19(Tue)00:12:03 No.718566 >Literally have a general named France Holder >Don't use him to hold France God, Hitler was a dumbass RINN 40 KB JPG

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