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Commit toaster bath | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: mz2oPOFe 01/16/17(Mon)18:36:57 No.107430086 Before internet >i want to f--- toasters >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >l want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life >>107430609 #
: Anonymous (ID: mz2oPOFe 01/16/17(Mon)18:36:57 No.107430086 Before internet >i want to f--- toasters >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >l want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life >>107430609 #

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Anon gets rejected | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)21:29:31 No.62912808 my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined Screenshot_20210108-121020_Google.jpg 201 KB JPG >had a dream for the first time in months last night >it was at a comfy resort in the mountains >in my room at the resort there was a sex doll that talked to me >l only tried to hug or cuddle her, nothing more >still got rejected HOW?!?! HOW?!?! I can't even get laid in my own f------ dreams, and even in my dreams a sex doll rejects me! It's truly over and my mind knows it...
: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)21:29:31 No.62912808 my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined Screenshot_20210108-121020_Google.jpg 201 KB JPG >had a dream for the first time in months last night >it was at a comfy resort in the mountains >in my room at the resort there was a sex doll that talked to me >l only tried to hug or cuddle her, nothing more >still got rejected HOW?!?! HOW?!?! I can't even get laid in my own f------ dreams, and even in my dreams a sex doll rejects me! It's truly over and my mind knows it...

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Who doesn't? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)05:52:44 No.62918504 >freshly washed and clean sheets tonight Anybody else love that feel? 1.11 MB PNG : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:02:25 No.62918575 >>62918504 (OP) # On cold nights I love it when I take my blankets out of the dryer and they're all warm then 8 hours later I have to leave my warm blanket nest and enter the freezing cold and that sucks d--- bro
: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)05:52:44 No.62918504 >freshly washed and clean sheets tonight Anybody else love that feel? 1.11 MB PNG : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:02:25 No.62918575 >>62918504 (OP) # On cold nights I love it when I take my blankets out of the dryer and they're all warm then 8 hours later I have to leave my warm blanket nest and enter the freezing cold and that sucks d--- bro

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Anon gets shit on | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Tpxm+GP7 03/26/21(Fri)11:34:32 No.313774362 Honestly you might laugh at toilet paper hoarders but you really don't have enough toilet paper yourselves. The average person uses 1 roll per day. If you have a family of 4, that's 28 rolls per week. Over 100 per month! TP rolls will be worth their weight in gold in a few months because everybody needs it. Suez Canal ship crisis may unleash worldwide toilet paper shortage EVERRREEN 47 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: FDZAOWPB 03/26/21(Fri)11:36:06 No.313774507 : Anonymous (ID: C5Yavwuo) [•1 03/26/21 (Fri)11:36:56 No.313774607 >>313774362(OP) # >The average obese American uses 1 roll per day. ftfy
: Anonymous (ID: Tpxm+GP7 03/26/21(Fri)11:34:32 No.313774362 Honestly you might laugh at toilet paper hoarders but you really don't have enough toilet paper yourselves. The average person uses 1 roll per day. If you have a family of 4, that's 28 rolls per week. Over 100 per month! TP rolls will be worth their weight in gold in a few months because everybody needs it. Suez Canal ship crisis may unleash worldwide toilet paper shortage EVERRREEN 47 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: FDZAOWPB 03/26/21(Fri)11:36:06 No.313774507 : Anonymous (ID: C5Yavwuo) [•1 03/26/21 (Fri)11:36:56 No.313774607 >>313774362(OP) # >The average obese American uses 1 roll per day. ftfy

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Hot or not | /r/Greentext

File: FB_IMG_1605814030719.jpg (28 KB, 413x569) U Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)03:00:15 No.15825394 [Reply] Story time >be me, 25 >staying at my moms place while I look for my own >first night, ready to make dinner >I look in her fridge >microwavemeatballsandpain.png >ask where the spices are >she hands me a can of f------ salt >says pepper is too spicy for her >literally no other seasonings in the house >mfw BUTTHAT'S HERESY Anyways, how did you start cooking?
File: FB_IMG_1605814030719.jpg (28 KB, 413x569) U Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)03:00:15 No.15825394 [Reply] Story time >be me, 25 >staying at my moms place while I look for my own >first night, ready to make dinner >I look in her fridge >microwavemeatballsandpain.png >ask where the spices are >she hands me a can of f------ salt >says pepper is too spicy for her >literally no other seasonings in the house >mfw BUTTHAT'S HERESY Anyways, how did you start cooking?

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Redditor discovers 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)08:41:33 No.850556745 >be me >redditfag >go on r/greentext "what is 4chan?" >go on 4chan /b/ 11 KB PNG >what the f--- is this website >mental breakdown >how did i end up here : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)08:44:18 No.850556855 >>850556745 (OP) # Go back 454 KB GIF
: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)08:41:33 No.850556745 >be me >redditfag >go on r/greentext "what is 4chan?" >go on 4chan /b/ 11 KB PNG >what the f--- is this website >mental breakdown >how did i end up here : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)08:44:18 No.850556855 >>850556745 (OP) # Go back 454 KB GIF

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soup spitter man | /r/Greentext

I f----- up big time >be me >want to ask out crush >not very close but sometimes make her laugh 136 KB JPG >want to ask her out with a joke >go up to her in cafeteria >mind goes ank and have to think of a joke on the spot >see she's eating soup >autism.jpg >"I am the soup spitter man and I spit in people's soup" >spit in her soup >"Ew what the f---!" >doesn't talk to me and known as soup spitter man for the rest of high school >mfw that was several years ago >mfw I still have the nightmares
I f----- up big time >be me >want to ask out crush >not very close but sometimes make her laugh 136 KB JPG >want to ask her out with a joke >go up to her in cafeteria >mind goes ank and have to think of a joke on the spot >see she's eating soup >autism.jpg >"I am the soup spitter man and I spit in people's soup" >spit in her soup >"Ew what the f---!" >doesn't talk to me and known as soup spitter man for the rest of high school >mfw that was several years ago >mfw I still have the nightmares

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Anon is a chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)00:12:02 No.850534045 >be me >12 >live in small town, where every year we have a carnival in the middle of town >waiting in line for ride >random girl I've never seen before 7 KB JPG walks up to me >"oh chris it's nice to see you again" >gives me a hug >she must have realized slightly too late I'm not who she thought I was >she runs away >never see her again
: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)00:12:02 No.850534045 >be me >12 >live in small town, where every year we have a carnival in the middle of town >waiting in line for ride >random girl I've never seen before 7 KB JPG walks up to me >"oh chris it's nice to see you again" >gives me a hug >she must have realized slightly too late I'm not who she thought I was >she runs away >never see her again

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Anon blew it | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)08:45:21 No.62917517 File: 400.png (14 KB, 882x758) We didn't have any hot teachers at my high school, but >hottest girl in my grade was a popular girl named Hannah >dark hair, pale skin, slamming body >come from upper-middle class neighborhood >good marks were a good thing socially >Hannah would get me to help her with school >have study sessions at her house after class >figure she was just using me to get good marks >didn't care though >she was cool and just interacting with a hot girl was enough >we all graduate >she goes to a university on the other side of the country >lose contact with her >years later run into one of the other popular girls >get to chatting >she mentions that everyone was surprised that me and Hannah never ended up dating >turns out she had a crush on me and would always go on and on to her friends about how smart I was I often think about this. I had a chance at teenage love with my dream girl and I f------ blew it because I thought she wouldn't be into a guy like me.
O Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)08:45:21 No.62917517 File: 400.png (14 KB, 882x758) We didn't have any hot teachers at my high school, but >hottest girl in my grade was a popular girl named Hannah >dark hair, pale skin, slamming body >come from upper-middle class neighborhood >good marks were a good thing socially >Hannah would get me to help her with school >have study sessions at her house after class >figure she was just using me to get good marks >didn't care though >she was cool and just interacting with a hot girl was enough >we all graduate >she goes to a university on the other side of the country >lose contact with her >years later run into one of the other popular girls >get to chatting >she mentions that everyone was surprised that me and Hannah never ended up dating >turns out she had a crush on me and would always go on and on to her friends about how smart I was I often think about this. I had a chance at teenage love with my dream girl and I f------ blew it because I thought she wouldn't be into a guy like me.

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Anon is Autistic | /r/Greentext

jpg (50 kB, 503x314) No.850520732 Anonymous Насе 46 s >be me >9 years old, walking home from school in early 2000's >witness a car crash into a tree >nobody else is around >driver is bleeding from his head, scares the s--- out of me when I walk up to the window >he hands me his phone, passes out right after >I just walked away because I thought he was giving me his phone before he died Next day >get a call from the flip phone, dude asking for his phone back atleastheisok.jpg >I panic and throw it in the park near my house after snapping it in half well that's how I knew I was autistic from a young age
jpg (50 kB, 503x314) No.850520732 Anonymous Насе 46 s >be me >9 years old, walking home from school in early 2000's >witness a car crash into a tree >nobody else is around >driver is bleeding from his head, scares the s--- out of me when I walk up to the window >he hands me his phone, passes out right after >I just walked away because I thought he was giving me his phone before he died Next day >get a call from the flip phone, dude asking for his phone back atleastheisok.jpg >I panic and throw it in the park near my house after snapping it in half well that's how I knew I was autistic from a young age

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Anon is distracted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4 minutes ago 850550700 >sit down to play video game >"let me just check 4chan and youtube first then i'll start" >5 hours later and still checking those websites >too late to play video game now >rinse and repeat this happen to anyone else? Anonymous 3 minutes ago 850550734 you filthy f------ casual
Anonymous 4 minutes ago 850550700 >sit down to play video game >"let me just check 4chan and youtube first then i'll start" >5 hours later and still checking those websites >too late to play video game now >rinse and repeat this happen to anyone else? Anonymous 3 minutes ago 850550734 you filthy f------ casual

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Anon saves his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:13:10 No.62918674 >dad is obese >eat all the sweets he buys to save him 75 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:46:37 No.62919028 >>62918674 (OP)# you could just throw the candy out. >>62919158 #
: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:13:10 No.62918674 >dad is obese >eat all the sweets he buys to save him 75 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:46:37 No.62919028 >>62918674 (OP)# you could just throw the candy out. >>62919158 #

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Anon still has a chance | /r/Greentext

>be me >31y/o kissless loser >lost virginity to a prostitute at 27 >never been in a relationship >figured it's a mix between me being unattractive and my apathetic personality >believe I'm getting to that age when it's too late to bother starting a family since relatives have gotten 25 KB JPG married and had kids in their 20s >decided to order an Ancestry DNA kit, last week, for the hell of it >work on my family tree until it arrives >made it all the way back to my 3rd great- grandparents >noticed something interesting >one of my paternal great great grandfathers didn't get married and have a family until he was 50 >died 15 years later; 5 years after his youngest was born I might not be able to enjoy the chances of being a parent while l'm still young, but perhaps it's not too late to continue my legacy, since it's hereditary.
>be me >31y/o kissless loser >lost virginity to a prostitute at 27 >never been in a relationship >figured it's a mix between me being unattractive and my apathetic personality >believe I'm getting to that age when it's too late to bother starting a family since relatives have gotten 25 KB JPG married and had kids in their 20s >decided to order an Ancestry DNA kit, last week, for the hell of it >work on my family tree until it arrives >made it all the way back to my 3rd great- grandparents >noticed something interesting >one of my paternal great great grandfathers didn't get married and have a family until he was 50 >died 15 years later; 5 years after his youngest was born I might not be able to enjoy the chances of being a parent while l'm still young, but perhaps it's not too late to continue my legacy, since it's hereditary.

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Anon about politics | /r/Greentext

>>313715951(OP) # >hate high taxes >move to republican area with lower taxes >vote for candidates that want to raise taxes 44 KB JPG >??? >repeat I'm convinced that >99% of people are just braindead morons
>>313715951(OP) # >hate high taxes >move to republican area with lower taxes >vote for candidates that want to raise taxes 44 KB JPG >??? >repeat I'm convinced that >99% of people are just braindead morons

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Anon has a realisation that he's an incel. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a 84 KB JPG decent face. : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a 84 KB JPG decent face. : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw

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Anon pulls the plug | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)12:16:54 No.850472923 >be me 18 >at bf's flat helping him out before moving out >cleaning kitchen >30 year old post-communist fridge louder than f----- plane engine >autism kicks in >plug out the fridge because loud >later bf gets panic attack or something >finish the work and get out as fast as possible >next day >bf's mom calls and says fridge defrosted and flood the floor >mfw i forgot to plug it back in >floor is destroyed >mfw they have to pay for it this s--- haunts me to this day
Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)12:16:54 No.850472923 >be me 18 >at bf's flat helping him out before moving out >cleaning kitchen >30 year old post-communist fridge louder than f----- plane engine >autism kicks in >plug out the fridge because loud >later bf gets panic attack or something >finish the work and get out as fast as possible >next day >bf's mom calls and says fridge defrosted and flood the floor >mfw i forgot to plug it back in >floor is destroyed >mfw they have to pay for it this s--- haunts me to this day

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Anon gets lump on balls examined | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)19:29:22 No.62910497 >>62910762 >>62910783 >>62910819 >>62910908 >>62910936 >be me, 22 yo autistic KHHV NEET >strange lump on balls, PANIC >hate talking to people but I cant lose balls, book doctors appointment >2 weeks later arive and wait in waiting room, never met my new doctor yet >"Is ANON here??", turn around and see hot af 30yo woman >ASDKJASKLNKLEN o s---, o f--, stay calm >get up and walk down hallway, she asks me how the wait was, I say "fine, how about you" >00000of kill me now >she opens door and lets me inside >two 20yo cute af girl med students are waiting >FUUUÜUUUUUUŪUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK >"Anon, please take a seat, I need a supurvisor to watch what Im doing for legal reasons" >she puts on rubber gloves >"Dont worry anon, this will only take a moment, please lie down and take your pants off" >the 2 med students stare at me while I take them off, trying my best not to look at them >doctor starts slowly rubbing my balls, one at a time >she finds the lump, now she starts massaging the lump >oh no, o f--, Im getting bigger. >"Im going to have to use the ultra sound to take a better look anon" >she presses the ultra sound machine to my ball >med students have to move one to each side to see whats happening >she turns the machine on and it starts vibrating HARD >l go full mast instantly, never been this hard before >the med students go red, but everyone stays silent >"hmmm good news anon! this lump shouldnt be a problem, it should fade in a few weeks" >WHAT >"stacy, becky, take a closer look here, remember what it looks like" >they lean in, towards each other so their heads are almost touching >my head is completly exposed and I can feel them breathing on it.. >l feel precum come out but they keep talking about the lump >l cant take it anymore, the way they smell, their legs, their hair almost touching my d---. >no. PLEASE NO, NOO0000000000 >COOM BURST OUT HARDER THAN EVER BEFORE >they both pull away, one got coom in her eyes >THẺ OTHÉR GOT IT IN HER MOUTH W-- >i put my pants on and get out of there ASAP > MY LIFE IS OVER
O Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)19:29:22 No.62910497 >>62910762 >>62910783 >>62910819 >>62910908 >>62910936 >be me, 22 yo autistic KHHV NEET >strange lump on balls, PANIC >hate talking to people but I cant lose balls, book doctors appointment >2 weeks later arive and wait in waiting room, never met my new doctor yet >"Is ANON here??", turn around and see hot af 30yo woman >ASDKJASKLNKLEN o s---, o f--, stay calm >get up and walk down hallway, she asks me how the wait was, I say "fine, how about you" >00000of kill me now >she opens door and lets me inside >two 20yo cute af girl med students are waiting >FUUUÜUUUUUUŪUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK >"Anon, please take a seat, I need a supurvisor to watch what Im doing for legal reasons" >she puts on rubber gloves >"Dont worry anon, this will only take a moment, please lie down and take your pants off" >the 2 med students stare at me while I take them off, trying my best not to look at them >doctor starts slowly rubbing my balls, one at a time >she finds the lump, now she starts massaging the lump >oh no, o f--, Im getting bigger. >"Im going to have to use the ultra sound to take a better look anon" >she presses the ultra sound machine to my ball >med students have to move one to each side to see whats happening >she turns the machine on and it starts vibrating HARD >l go full mast instantly, never been this hard before >the med students go red, but everyone stays silent >"hmmm good news anon! this lump shouldnt be a problem, it should fade in a few weeks" >WHAT >"stacy, becky, take a closer look here, remember what it looks like" >they lean in, towards each other so their heads are almost touching >my head is completly exposed and I can feel them breathing on it.. >l feel precum come out but they keep talking about the lump >l cant take it anymore, the way they smell, their legs, their hair almost touching my d---. >no. PLEASE NO, NOO0000000000 >COOM BURST OUT HARDER THAN EVER BEFORE >they both pull away, one got coom in her eyes >THẺ OTHÉR GOT IT IN HER MOUTH W-- >i put my pants on and get out of there ASAP > MY LIFE IS OVER

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Shoplifters of the world, unite | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)20:28:34 No.62915713 >Be me >at Wendys >be on Drive Thru >because I only ever work Drive Thru >because the only thing being better than your peers and being able to work every position gets you is the one no 216 KB PNG one else is able or wants to do >every headset is garbage >everyone is a struggle to hear even though I'm destroying my hearing with the volume| >trying to get lady's order >double burger plain >ask her to repeat herself because a ton of s--- is going on and the store is super loud >she repeats it super slow and condescending, ending with "Are. You. Understanding. What. I'm. Saying. To. You?" >Repeat the order back that I had already punched in, ending with "Are you going to keep giving me attitude?" >Whole store is like "WOAH OMG" >f------ GM wants me in the office immediately >lady is also like "Are you giving ME attitude?" >Everyone acting like I had called her a n----- unprovoked instead of responding to being insulted >coworker tripping over herself to apologize to the lady as I go to the office >get chewed out by gm >come back >lady drives off without her food >again, as if she had been gravely insulted and this would ruin her day >rest of the shift nobody even says anything about how I'm cool for saying it or that she was a bitch Remember that you are completely worthless, and any amount of pride or self-importance is an active detriment in today's society, because if you have it, it might just slip out and everyone will scream about it. Enjoy being walked on, it's all society wants from you.
: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)20:28:34 No.62915713 >Be me >at Wendys >be on Drive Thru >because I only ever work Drive Thru >because the only thing being better than your peers and being able to work every position gets you is the one no 216 KB PNG one else is able or wants to do >every headset is garbage >everyone is a struggle to hear even though I'm destroying my hearing with the volume| >trying to get lady's order >double burger plain >ask her to repeat herself because a ton of s--- is going on and the store is super loud >she repeats it super slow and condescending, ending with "Are. You. Understanding. What. I'm. Saying. To. You?" >Repeat the order back that I had already punched in, ending with "Are you going to keep giving me attitude?" >Whole store is like "WOAH OMG" >f------ GM wants me in the office immediately >lady is also like "Are you giving ME attitude?" >Everyone acting like I had called her a n----- unprovoked instead of responding to being insulted >coworker tripping over herself to apologize to the lady as I go to the office >get chewed out by gm >come back >lady drives off without her food >again, as if she had been gravely insulted and this would ruin her day >rest of the shift nobody even says anything about how I'm cool for saying it or that she was a bitch Remember that you are completely worthless, and any amount of pride or self-importance is an active detriment in today's society, because if you have it, it might just slip out and everyone will scream about it. Enjoy being walked on, it's all society wants from you.

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Anon talks to a Normie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)15:14:39 No.850498125 >be me >Normie asks where the nearest bus station is >ignore normie. I start to enter pre-reeee >normie taps me >"excuse me do you know where the nearest bus station is" 126 KB JPG >full Reeeeeeee incoming >tell normie there's one on the corner >she thanks me and goes to the corner >there isn't a bus stop there >Reeee averted
: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)15:14:39 No.850498125 >be me >Normie asks where the nearest bus station is >ignore normie. I start to enter pre-reeee >normie taps me >"excuse me do you know where the nearest bus station is" 126 KB JPG >full Reeeeeeee incoming >tell normie there's one on the corner >she thanks me and goes to the corner >there isn't a bus stop there >Reeee averted

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Anon wants to fuck a toaster | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: mz2oPOFe 01/16/17(Mon)18:36:57 No.107430086 Before internet >i want to f--- toasters >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >l want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life >>107430609 #
: Anonymous (ID: mz2oPOFe 01/16/17(Mon)18:36:57 No.107430086 Before internet >i want to f--- toasters >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >l want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life >>107430609 #

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