Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon is a proud American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: WW503DHF 02/21/18(Wed)21:07:20 No.161424130 >be American high school student >2019 >multiple school shootings a day >every teacher is now armed >veterans patrol the halls on mobility scooters with built in mini-guns >in Algebra 2 >teacher is handing out the quiz, her full body armor jostling around >reach into my backpack to take out my calculator >her M16 is already trained on me >"ANON DON'T F------ MOVE" >"I-I need my calculator" >"THIS IS A NO CALCULATOR QUIZ WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU REACHING FOR" >"I-I thought we could use calculators" >"YOU THOUGHT WRONG" >tense pause >she lowers her weapon >school shooter takes this opportunity to snipe her from the back of the class >her blood and brains splatters all over my face >second school shooter wheels around in the front with a shotgun, takes aim at the first shooter because he doesn't want to share the headlines >try to run for the door >veteran mobility scooter unit flies in and tears me to shreds firing 6k rounds a minute >die happy knowing that l'm still freer than Europoors >family gets charged 10 mil for my medical expenses (plus tip)
: Anonymous (ID: WW503DHF 02/21/18(Wed)21:07:20 No.161424130 >be American high school student >2019 >multiple school shootings a day >every teacher is now armed >veterans patrol the halls on mobility scooters with built in mini-guns >in Algebra 2 >teacher is handing out the quiz, her full body armor jostling around >reach into my backpack to take out my calculator >her M16 is already trained on me >"ANON DON'T F------ MOVE" >"I-I need my calculator" >"THIS IS A NO CALCULATOR QUIZ WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU REACHING FOR" >"I-I thought we could use calculators" >"YOU THOUGHT WRONG" >tense pause >she lowers her weapon >school shooter takes this opportunity to snipe her from the back of the class >her blood and brains splatters all over my face >second school shooter wheels around in the front with a shotgun, takes aim at the first shooter because he doesn't want to share the headlines >try to run for the door >veteran mobility scooter unit flies in and tears me to shreds firing 6k rounds a minute >die happy knowing that l'm still freer than Europoors >family gets charged 10 mil for my medical expenses (plus tip)

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is hacker-pedophile | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)15:49:02 No.785975313 >Be me >/b/tard >Dad sees me laughing at my phone >ohshit.jpg >"What you laughing at anon?" >Panic tell them just the funny LLAP CLAP 30 KB JPG meme website called 4chan >Dad loses it >"THAT WEBSITE IS FULL OF HACKERS AND PEDOPHILES, ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ABDUCTED? ARE YOU A PDEOPHILE? DO I NEED TO WORRY ABOUT YOU COMMITTING HACKER CRIMES ONLINE?" >mfw my dad thinks im talking to elite hacker pedophiles online >mfw I really talk to autistic retard neckbeards
: Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)15:49:02 No.785975313 >Be me >/b/tard >Dad sees me laughing at my phone >ohshit.jpg >"What you laughing at anon?" >Panic tell them just the funny LLAP CLAP 30 KB JPG meme website called 4chan >Dad loses it >"THAT WEBSITE IS FULL OF HACKERS AND PEDOPHILES, ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ABDUCTED? ARE YOU A PDEOPHILE? DO I NEED TO WORRY ABOUT YOU COMMITTING HACKER CRIMES ONLINE?" >mfw my dad thinks im talking to elite hacker pedophiles online >mfw I really talk to autistic retard neckbeards

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon fights the good fight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/21(Fri)06:52:43 No.63022272 >make a Chad Tinder account >females message me first >never respond to any of them >their Tinder elo gets lowered because of that 39 KB JPG Get rekt foids View Thread
: Anonymous 04/02/21(Fri)06:52:43 No.63022272 >make a Chad Tinder account >females message me first >never respond to any of them >their Tinder elo gets lowered because of that 39 KB JPG Get rekt foids View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font terrestrial plant happy

Anon asks for love advice | /r/Greentext

File :1188663010.jpg-(31 KB, 600x800, melissa.jpg) O 09/01/07(Sat)12:10:10 No.38098656 Ok /b/, im am really high right now, but i need your advise. I'm in love with this girl(see pic) but shes mad at me and doesnt like me in that way. How do I fix? im only asking because im stoned and am willing to do anything, except kill her. >> O 09/01/07(Sat)12:10:35 No.38098692 kill her. > O 09/01/07(Sat)12:10:56 No.38098712 kill her >> O 09/01/07(Sat)12:11:11 No.38098733 kill her >> O 09/01/07(Sat)12:11:21 No.38098744 kill her. >> O 09/01/07(Sat)12:11:26 No.38098752 Do a Barrel Roll. 09/01/07(Sat)12:11:28 No.38098756 kill yourself. >> O 09/01/07(Sat)12:11:31 No.38098762 kill her
File :1188663010.jpg-(31 KB, 600x800, melissa.jpg) O 09/01/07(Sat)12:10:10 No.38098656 Ok /b/, im am really high right now, but i need your advise. I'm in love with this girl(see pic) but shes mad at me and doesnt like me in that way. How do I fix? im only asking because im stoned and am willing to do anything, except kill her. >> O 09/01/07(Sat)12:10:35 No.38098692 kill her. > O 09/01/07(Sat)12:10:56 No.38098712 kill her >> O 09/01/07(Sat)12:11:11 No.38098733 kill her >> O 09/01/07(Sat)12:11:21 No.38098744 kill her. >> O 09/01/07(Sat)12:11:26 No.38098752 Do a Barrel Roll. 09/01/07(Sat)12:11:28 No.38098756 kill yourself. >> O 09/01/07(Sat)12:11:31 No.38098762 kill her

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext nose jaw eyelash font

Anon gets fooled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous F--- 4chan cucked by April foo(...) 04/02/21(Fri)13:47:43 No.63020654 >be in a thread >talking to someone about an interest >they let on they are a girl and interested in talking to me >l go to post my discord >error deported to >>>/qb/ >cant change IP >watch as some f------ chad pretends to be me 116 KB JPG in the thread and drops his discord >REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE >this was my one chance and 4chan f----- me and an anon did me dirty 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/02/21(Fri)13:56:09 No.63020728 >>63020654 (OP) # You know whats even funnier OP? I left her on read.
: Anonymous F--- 4chan cucked by April foo(...) 04/02/21(Fri)13:47:43 No.63020654 >be in a thread >talking to someone about an interest >they let on they are a girl and interested in talking to me >l go to post my discord >error deported to >>>/qb/ >cant change IP >watch as some f------ chad pretends to be me 116 KB JPG in the thread and drops his discord >REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE >this was my one chance and 4chan f----- me and an anon did me dirty 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/02/21(Fri)13:56:09 No.63020728 >>63020654 (OP) # You know whats even funnier OP? I left her on read.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font terrestrial plant

Anon orders Pizza | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/21(Fri)09:01:29 No.63020037 >Dad calls me a special snowflake No Signall for ordering literally any pizza that isnt pepperoni Why would they give me options for pizza if anything other than pepperoni means I am some type 18 KB JPG of loser and snowflake ?
: Anonymous 04/02/21(Fri)09:01:29 No.63020037 >Dad calls me a special snowflake No Signall for ordering literally any pizza that isnt pepperoni Why would they give me options for pizza if anything other than pepperoni means I am some type 18 KB JPG of loser and snowflake ?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext cat organism carnivore line font output device

Anon is in shitty situation | /r/Greentext

You think you f------ no embarrassing? Bring it on. >be about 9-10 years old >little cousin is sleeping in bed. (He's at my house.) >think it'd be funny to fart on his head. >pull down my pants and lower my ass over his face >fart >realize it isn't a fart >liquid s--- pours out of my ass onto his face >he waked up, snorting my s--- up his nose >he vomits EVERYWHERE >i flee the scene like some scat version of The Phantom of the Opera >He runs downstairs crying and gagging >hear mum scream >hide under bed >still s------- myself under the bed. In small quirts >mfw mum found me.
You think you f------ no embarrassing? Bring it on. >be about 9-10 years old >little cousin is sleeping in bed. (He's at my house.) >think it'd be funny to fart on his head. >pull down my pants and lower my ass over his face >fart >realize it isn't a fart >liquid s--- pours out of my ass onto his face >he waked up, snorting my s--- up his nose >he vomits EVERYWHERE >i flee the scene like some scat version of The Phantom of the Opera >He runs downstairs crying and gagging >hear mum scream >hide under bed >still s------- myself under the bed. In small quirts >mfw mum found me.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Gigachad writes his will | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/21(Fri)07:14:02 No.63019027 >Soijak, if you are reading this I am dead. Please don't waste your precious life on the internet like I did, love, your friend, Gigachad 74 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/02/21(Fri)07:14:02 No.63019027 >Soijak, if you are reading this I am dead. Please don't waste your precious life on the internet like I did, love, your friend, Gigachad 74 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font

Anon listens to music | /r/Greentext

35m (4/2 8:16) · 314814927 22 Re · 10 Img · PNG · 2KB · (475 × 111) 8 Replies >listening to song >female voice comes in >instantly turn of the song and never listen again
35m (4/2 8:16) · 314814927 22 Re · 10 Img · PNG · 2KB · (475 × 111) 8 Replies >listening to song >female voice comes in >instantly turn of the song and never listen again

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext saba banana natural foods organism gesture font line fruit

Anon gets advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)20:53:26 No.63011450 >be me >be crushing hard on girl >Qt 7.5/10 >she's funny, energetic and likes to play vidya with me >finally have the balls to tell her how I feel >"I'm sorry anon,I don't feel the same way" >be playing games at the time,rest of the session is 38 KB JPG awkward,mostly silent >she says that she has to go,logs off >Haven't heard from her onlinesince since 6 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)20:56:02 No.63011474 Looks like you lost true love. Only thing you can do now is to download GRINDR and getting TOPPED by a tall, muscular, dilf.
: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)20:53:26 No.63011450 >be me >be crushing hard on girl >Qt 7.5/10 >she's funny, energetic and likes to play vidya with me >finally have the balls to tell her how I feel >"I'm sorry anon,I don't feel the same way" >be playing games at the time,rest of the session is 38 KB JPG awkward,mostly silent >she says that she has to go,logs off >Haven't heard from her onlinesince since 6 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)20:56:02 No.63011474 Looks like you lost true love. Only thing you can do now is to download GRINDR and getting TOPPED by a tall, muscular, dilf.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is a mastermind | /r/Greentext

>give female friend a ride >intentionally don't turn on the ac so she 1 KB JPG SWeats >sniff the seat once she gets out
>give female friend a ride >intentionally don't turn on the ac so she 1 KB JPG SWeats >sniff the seat once she gets out

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext rectangle grass

Anon doubts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)07:11:40 No.9536485 >god created humanity in his image >humans are forced to s--- and piss guys... 246 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)07:11:40 No.9536485 >god created humanity in his image >humans are forced to s--- and piss guys... 246 KB PNG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext green organism happy font

Anon is scared | /r/Greentext

1500590969099.jpg (78 KB, 346x450) google yandex >make post criticizing google >next captcha shows street near my house
1500590969099.jpg (78 KB, 346x450) google yandex >make post criticizing google >next captcha shows street near my house

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font

Anon goes to his grandma | /r/Greentext

>go to grandmas >she's in her 80s now >used to have tons of fun with her and grandpa when I was a kid >now grandpa is gone and she lives alone >she talks to me about how she wants to go (die) >she talks about all the big fun family reunions that used to happen >one of her sisters died a few years ago and there haven't been any since, it was like her sister was the only one keeping the family together >now she feels alone, most people she was with have passed on or just sit in their house all day and don't call >new kids don't want to talk to anyone outside their immediate family and just play on their phones unlike in the old days where all the kids would get together and play games and sports outside The concept of a big family and get-together is basically non-existent now. Wow, it's so depressing. I feel terrible for her. At least I still keep in contact and we have a good time but damn.
>go to grandmas >she's in her 80s now >used to have tons of fun with her and grandpa when I was a kid >now grandpa is gone and she lives alone >she talks to me about how she wants to go (die) >she talks about all the big fun family reunions that used to happen >one of her sisters died a few years ago and there haven't been any since, it was like her sister was the only one keeping the family together >now she feels alone, most people she was with have passed on or just sit in their house all day and don't call >new kids don't want to talk to anyone outside their immediate family and just play on their phones unlike in the old days where all the kids would get together and play games and sports outside The concept of a big family and get-together is basically non-existent now. Wow, it's so depressing. I feel terrible for her. At least I still keep in contact and we have a good time but damn.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext head human body jaw organism happy

Anon goes to the park | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)21:11:47 No.851083824 >at park >playing guitar >jamming on a few chords >think it sounds pretty rad >getting into it >hear someone say 'can someone take that guitar away from that 44 KB JPG retard before my head explodes? Christ' >mfw
: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)21:11:47 No.851083824 >at park >playing guitar >jamming on a few chords >think it sounds pretty rad >getting into it >hear someone say 'can someone take that guitar away from that 44 KB JPG retard before my head explodes? Christ' >mfw

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext hat organism font fedora

Grognon defends his dignity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/18(Sun)13:04:08 No.7041203 >cave painting girl will be never real it not fair 3 KB PNG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 08/19/18(Sun)13:06:23 No.7041213 grog is f-- >>7041222 # : Anonymous 08/19/18(Sun)13:07:53 No.7041222 >>7041213 # grog not!!
: Anonymous 08/19/18(Sun)13:04:08 No.7041203 >cave painting girl will be never real it not fair 3 KB PNG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 08/19/18(Sun)13:06:23 No.7041213 grog is f-- >>7041222 # : Anonymous 08/19/18(Sun)13:07:53 No.7041222 >>7041213 # grog not!!

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

anon pranks his brother | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)22:15:58 No.851084157 > be me, in the kitchen >see little brother >he ripped a sugar packet open and just ate it How to prenk Step 1: >confused.wma >an idea pops in my head >"Hey little bro want to taste something 54 KB JPG sweeter than sugar?" >"Okay anon" >hand him bottle of vanilla extract >tell him to smell it first >he takes a big gulp He isn't talking to me View Thread
: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)22:15:58 No.851084157 > be me, in the kitchen >see little brother >he ripped a sugar packet open and just ate it How to prenk Step 1: >confused.wma >an idea pops in my head >"Hey little bro want to taste something 54 KB JPG sweeter than sugar?" >"Okay anon" >hand him bottle of vanilla extract >tell him to smell it first >he takes a big gulp He isn't talking to me View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

anon is bob the bodybuilder | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Wholesome Lift Stories 03/21/21(Sun)11:52:21 No.60472598 I want to hear yours. I'll start. >be 1 year ago >Pandemic hits >Gym's closed >Start doing lots of BW exercises >Realize there's a park with a small workout 51 KB JPG section close by my house >bars for dips, pullups, etc. >Start going there for my workouts >See other people sometimes >Have Idea >Start picking up and transporting those 30-50lbs (14-23kg) rubber plates they use for road signs >Buy a steel pipe to act as a barbell >Buy rebar, buckets, concrete mix and even a sledgehammer to slam on those rubber plates >BobTheBodybuilder.jpg >Transport most of the stuff to the park >Over time, more and more people start using the park >Never tell anyone about this >be this week >Chat with some stranger working out >Says he wishes he could thank whoever brought all of that stuff >Tell him >His face lights up and he says "No way" >Asks if he can help >Tell him I still have two 5 gallon concrete buckets at home, but have no car, can't carry those for 2km by hand >Offers to help >We bring em back to the park >Tells his friends about "This is the guy who brought all of this" >tfw I made lifting friends >tfw I supported part of my community for months >ffw some people have started bringing stuff like jumpropes and kettlebells
Anonymous Wholesome Lift Stories 03/21/21(Sun)11:52:21 No.60472598 I want to hear yours. I'll start. >be 1 year ago >Pandemic hits >Gym's closed >Start doing lots of BW exercises >Realize there's a park with a small workout 51 KB JPG section close by my house >bars for dips, pullups, etc. >Start going there for my workouts >See other people sometimes >Have Idea >Start picking up and transporting those 30-50lbs (14-23kg) rubber plates they use for road signs >Buy a steel pipe to act as a barbell >Buy rebar, buckets, concrete mix and even a sledgehammer to slam on those rubber plates >BobTheBodybuilder.jpg >Transport most of the stuff to the park >Over time, more and more people start using the park >Never tell anyone about this >be this week >Chat with some stranger working out >Says he wishes he could thank whoever brought all of that stuff >Tell him >His face lights up and he says "No way" >Asks if he can help >Tell him I still have two 5 gallon concrete buckets at home, but have no car, can't carry those for 2km by hand >Offers to help >We bring em back to the park >Tells his friends about "This is the guy who brought all of this" >tfw I made lifting friends >tfw I supported part of my community for months >ffw some people have started bringing stuff like jumpropes and kettlebells

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon makes friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous just something wholesome 04/01/21(Thu)16:29:25 No.63015032 >be me >7 year old in private school >basically no friends >read comic book >kid sits on rock and 201 KB JPG people come to him >idea.tmp >if i sit on bench and act depressed people will come to me >decide to try it out one day because why not >people actually come to me >start talking and getting to know them better >get invited to a few birthday parties >have lots of fun >ffw to now, i have lots of close friends who all care about me thanks mauricio de sousa pic unrelated
: Anonymous just something wholesome 04/01/21(Thu)16:29:25 No.63015032 >be me >7 year old in private school >basically no friends >read comic book >kid sits on rock and 201 KB JPG people come to him >idea.tmp >if i sit on bench and act depressed people will come to me >decide to try it out one day because why not >people actually come to me >start talking and getting to know them better >get invited to a few birthday parties >have lots of fun >ffw to now, i have lots of close friends who all care about me thanks mauricio de sousa pic unrelated

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext recipe

Anon has some good advice | /r/Greentext

File: image.png (1000 KB, 640x1136) Anonymous 05/17/16(Tue)23:45:47 No.28638866 >>28638946 >>28639000 How can I cheat on my final uni exams? > O Anonymous 05/17/16(Tue)23:49:35 No.28638942 phone in jacket that's what I do pretty easy Normie 05/17/16(Tue)23:49:48 No.28638946 >>28639095 >28638988 >>28638998 >>28638866 (OP) I've got a technique that hasn't failed me yet. A few days before the exam, I sit down and look over the notes, so that you remember them. Then you go into the exam, and even though it looks like you're completely clean, you actually have the notes stored in your memory, and you can just look though your brain to find the answers.
File: image.png (1000 KB, 640x1136) Anonymous 05/17/16(Tue)23:45:47 No.28638866 >>28638946 >>28639000 How can I cheat on my final uni exams? > O Anonymous 05/17/16(Tue)23:49:35 No.28638942 phone in jacket that's what I do pretty easy Normie 05/17/16(Tue)23:49:48 No.28638946 >>28639095 >28638988 >>28638998 >>28638866 (OP) I've got a technique that hasn't failed me yet. A few days before the exam, I sit down and look over the notes, so that you remember them. Then you go into the exam, and even though it looks like you're completely clean, you actually have the notes stored in your memory, and you can just look though your brain to find the answers.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font line