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Anons autism kills doge | /r/Greentext

>>851607858 (OP) # >be me >huge autist >rode on my dog's back as a kid >not too hard so i don't kill him >felt like a cowboy 8 KB JPG >10 years later >he's old >he's arthritis ridden >his hind legs don't work anymore >he falls down all the time >mfw it's basically my fault >mfw my parents decide to put him down >another 10 years later >post about it on this dumbass board >first time I've told anyone >mfw basically murdered my dog and no one knows >851608722 # >>851610240 # >>851610720 # >>851611547 # >851612244 # >>851614401 # >>851615602 # >>851617265 # E Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:49:36 No.8516087: >>851608516 # >10 years later F------ retard, he was just an old dog. Stop being so f------ retarded, dogs having issues with joints is common as f---, especially in older dogs. Now f--- off back to highschool
>>851607858 (OP) # >be me >huge autist >rode on my dog's back as a kid >not too hard so i don't kill him >felt like a cowboy 8 KB JPG >10 years later >he's old >he's arthritis ridden >his hind legs don't work anymore >he falls down all the time >mfw it's basically my fault >mfw my parents decide to put him down >another 10 years later >post about it on this dumbass board >first time I've told anyone >mfw basically murdered my dog and no one knows >851608722 # >>851610240 # >>851610720 # >>851611547 # >851612244 # >>851614401 # >>851615602 # >>851617265 # E Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:49:36 No.8516087: >>851608516 # >10 years later F------ retard, he was just an old dog. Stop being so f------ retarded, dogs having issues with joints is common as f---, especially in older dogs. Now f--- off back to highschool

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Anon said 4 words | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)13:29:47 No.851603028 f--- reddit dude >read greentext about anon ® < O shoving and electric toothbrush up his ass and pretending its a period > comment "anon is a t-----" >get banned for 3 days Emitate Eurosport o Cristiano Ronaldo 'admits he's fed up with nig... 539 KB PNG 3 f------ words meanwhile i see actual f------ pedophiles admiting to it and jackshit happens but i say 3 f------ words and get banned
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)13:29:47 No.851603028 f--- reddit dude >read greentext about anon ® < O shoving and electric toothbrush up his ass and pretending its a period > comment "anon is a t-----" >get banned for 3 days Emitate Eurosport o Cristiano Ronaldo 'admits he's fed up with nig... 539 KB PNG 3 f------ words meanwhile i see actual f------ pedophiles admiting to it and jackshit happens but i say 3 f------ words and get banned

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If you're a retard, just unretard. | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a good job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/11/20(Sun)17:09:22 No.60423731 >my job is taking care of retards >this one retard is pretty chill >told by other staff he's aggressive but ive never seen it >big issue we're working on with him is hygiene and not making messes >tard eats an apple whole and machine gun fires seeds all over the living room 4 KB JPG >calmly tell him "Remember what we said about appropriate behavior man? Let's not make a mess of apple seeds okay buddy?" >he stares at me for a good 5 seconds then punches himself hard as f--- at his head >tard f------ sucker punched himself >tell him to not do that >punches himself in the skull again >we're told to not get physical with the tards unless they present a threat to others >now whenever he sees me he socks himself in the head >get paid 10/hr for this
: Anonymous 10/11/20(Sun)17:09:22 No.60423731 >my job is taking care of retards >this one retard is pretty chill >told by other staff he's aggressive but ive never seen it >big issue we're working on with him is hygiene and not making messes >tard eats an apple whole and machine gun fires seeds all over the living room 4 KB JPG >calmly tell him "Remember what we said about appropriate behavior man? Let's not make a mess of apple seeds okay buddy?" >he stares at me for a good 5 seconds then punches himself hard as f--- at his head >tard f------ sucker punched himself >tell him to not do that >punches himself in the skull again >we're told to not get physical with the tards unless they present a threat to others >now whenever he sees me he socks himself in the head >get paid 10/hr for this

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Anon thinks there's a bomb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)16:36:25 No.12941847 >>12939454 (OP) # >be uberfag sleeper >go to mathematics class with all the brainlets >"today we will begin the topology chapter" 64 KB JPG >all this trivial s--- about topological spaces >o s--- time for a nap >oh well 20 minutes is nothing >wake up >it's now all about 2,3-16 nondeterministic multivalued infinite dimensional smooth complex manifolds >oh_shit.jpg >try to take notes >what the f--- are these drawings supposed to depict? >what is a P° (C*)-monoid? >class ends >teacher says "don't forget the complex P vs NP assignment I gave you 15 minutes ago while this little bastard was sleeping" >everyone laughs at me and tells me I missed so much I'm literally f----- up >tfw fell for the ubermeme
: Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)16:36:25 No.12941847 >>12939454 (OP) # >be uberfag sleeper >go to mathematics class with all the brainlets >"today we will begin the topology chapter" 64 KB JPG >all this trivial s--- about topological spaces >o s--- time for a nap >oh well 20 minutes is nothing >wake up >it's now all about 2,3-16 nondeterministic multivalued infinite dimensional smooth complex manifolds >oh_shit.jpg >try to take notes >what the f--- are these drawings supposed to depict? >what is a P° (C*)-monoid? >class ends >teacher says "don't forget the complex P vs NP assignment I gave you 15 minutes ago while this little bastard was sleeping" >everyone laughs at me and tells me I missed so much I'm literally f----- up >tfw fell for the ubermeme

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Anon is a colonizer | /r/Greentext

File: Help me l'm s alone.jpg (171 KB, 1200x1200) O Anonymous 07/05/18(Thu)00:49:06 No.773407002 I find myself in an unfortunate situation, /b/. >Be white guy in college >Join board games club >Playing Risk with Native American guy >He controls North America >l invade, conquer and kill all the units he has there >He says 'f------ typical' and walks away from the game History repeats itself, /bl.
File: Help me l'm s alone.jpg (171 KB, 1200x1200) O Anonymous 07/05/18(Thu)00:49:06 No.773407002 I find myself in an unfortunate situation, /b/. >Be white guy in college >Join board games club >Playing Risk with Native American guy >He controls North America >l invade, conquer and kill all the units he has there >He says 'f------ typical' and walks away from the game History repeats itself, /bl.

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Anon doesn't like trannies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)18:24:56 No.63115736 Post stories of when you said things you really shouldn't have in that situation >be me in discord voice call with some pals >majority of the server is left-leaning to some degree 70 KB PNG >one 16 y/o neurodivergent (aka autistic) transmasc (goes by he/him) fellow >the topic somehow gets to the use of the r slur (RETARD) >the tran doesn't like it, talks about how they almost get panic attacks when they get called it >I spit out "Well if you want to be a boy so bad why don't you man the f--- up and take it" >call goes f------ silent for a solid 30 seconds, you can audibly tell the tran is starting to get distressed a bit >whoops I got kicked View Thread
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)18:24:56 No.63115736 Post stories of when you said things you really shouldn't have in that situation >be me in discord voice call with some pals >majority of the server is left-leaning to some degree 70 KB PNG >one 16 y/o neurodivergent (aka autistic) transmasc (goes by he/him) fellow >the topic somehow gets to the use of the r slur (RETARD) >the tran doesn't like it, talks about how they almost get panic attacks when they get called it >I spit out "Well if you want to be a boy so bad why don't you man the f--- up and take it" >call goes f------ silent for a solid 30 seconds, you can audibly tell the tran is starting to get distressed a bit >whoops I got kicked View Thread

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Anon doesn‘t plan ahead | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)14:36:35 No.63113170 >Finish taking a shower >Take a giant s--- right afterwards 235 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)14:36:35 No.63113170 >Finish taking a shower >Take a giant s--- right afterwards 235 KB JPG

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Anon likes mornings. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Optimistic /bots/ 05/14/18(Mon)05:43:07 No.45385219 > Wake up at 5:30am >Kinda early but I'm hungry >lt's chilly and dark outside >l wash my face and go to the kitchen wen day is dark alway rember happy day >I toast some bread and spread butter with strawberry jam 261 KB PNG >I like strawberry jam >Brew a cup of coffee >I like the smell of a fresh brewed cup >l go back to my room and open the window >The sounds of birds and the leaves are waving from the wind >A chilly wind cools me and I sit and sip from my cup >Eat toast >Just enjoy the sunrise and weather >Deeply breathe the fresh cold weather >Today is a good day >Stay optimistic /bots/ >l just like mornings
: Anonymous Optimistic /bots/ 05/14/18(Mon)05:43:07 No.45385219 > Wake up at 5:30am >Kinda early but I'm hungry >lt's chilly and dark outside >l wash my face and go to the kitchen wen day is dark alway rember happy day >I toast some bread and spread butter with strawberry jam 261 KB PNG >I like strawberry jam >Brew a cup of coffee >I like the smell of a fresh brewed cup >l go back to my room and open the window >The sounds of birds and the leaves are waving from the wind >A chilly wind cools me and I sit and sip from my cup >Eat toast >Just enjoy the sunrise and weather >Deeply breathe the fresh cold weather >Today is a good day >Stay optimistic /bots/ >l just like mornings

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Anon lacks self control | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:03:43 No.63066265 >Wake up. >Decide to have some cheesecake after breakfast. >End up eating the entire thing. It's not fair they should not be allowed to sell entire cheesecakes 61 KB JPG they know people will do this. 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:08:55 No.63066310 >>63066265 (OP) # Don't buy cheesecake in the first place fatty. >>63066349 # : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:09:38 No.63066320 >>63066265 (OP) # need tummy rubs?
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:03:43 No.63066265 >Wake up. >Decide to have some cheesecake after breakfast. >End up eating the entire thing. It's not fair they should not be allowed to sell entire cheesecakes 61 KB JPG they know people will do this. 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:08:55 No.63066310 >>63066265 (OP) # Don't buy cheesecake in the first place fatty. >>63066349 # : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:09:38 No.63066320 >>63066265 (OP) # need tummy rubs?

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Anon acts like a boomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous times you were based 04/08/21(Thu)06:00:38 No.63108824 >minding my own business at home on a Tuesday >hear noise outside >look out the window >some high schoolers making a ruckus on the sidewalk in front of 170 KB PNG my lawn when they should be at school >open window >YOU DAMN KIDS BETTER GET BACK TO CLASS AND GET OFF MY LAWN >they curse me and flip me off but leave anyways
: Anonymous times you were based 04/08/21(Thu)06:00:38 No.63108824 >minding my own business at home on a Tuesday >hear noise outside >look out the window >some high schoolers making a ruckus on the sidewalk in front of 170 KB PNG my lawn when they should be at school >open window >YOU DAMN KIDS BETTER GET BACK TO CLASS AND GET OFF MY LAWN >they curse me and flip me off but leave anyways

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anon has standards | /r/Greentext

File: 186115782387.jpg (483 KB, 1696x2480) O Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)01:47:19 No.63110377 [Reply] >ask cute girl out >she rejects me :( >ask another cute girl out >she rejects me too >ask really ugly girl out begrudgingly >she accepts and is way too happy >ghost her and never go outside again
File: 186115782387.jpg (483 KB, 1696x2480) O Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)01:47:19 No.63110377 [Reply] >ask cute girl out >she rejects me :( >ask another cute girl out >she rejects me too >ask really ugly girl out begrudgingly >she accepts and is way too happy >ghost her and never go outside again

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Anon is peeing on his girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)03:17:38 No.851552469 >be me >got a distance relationship >gf comes over for 2 weeks >she decided to take a 468 KB PNG shower >I go with her because why not >she started to take the shower and says >'ll pee >im disgusted and say that I don't want her to piss in my shower >she did it anyway >l see that the shower isn't entirely closed and I decided to piss into the shower >she screams: YOU PEED ON MY FEET Piss in my shower, I piss on you
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)03:17:38 No.851552469 >be me >got a distance relationship >gf comes over for 2 weeks >she decided to take a 468 KB PNG shower >I go with her because why not >she started to take the shower and says >'ll pee >im disgusted and say that I don't want her to piss in my shower >she did it anyway >l see that the shower isn't entirely closed and I decided to piss into the shower >she screams: YOU PEED ON MY FEET Piss in my shower, I piss on you

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Anon has a job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/23/17(Mon)23:27:58 No.40623659 Job Greentexts This happened last night. >Get job at McDonalds, need cash >Work in the back arranging the meals >qt 3.14 comes in with-8 yo daughter, asks for a chicken nugget Наррy Meal 225 KB PNG >daughter is really polite to casier, says please and everything >throw in an extra nugget because of her kindness >few mins later, manager tells me to mop a spill >its right next to the mom and her daughter >evesdrop on them >"Mommy look, the people in the back gave me an extra nugget, why?" >mom replies, "Its because they're dumb enough to work here that they cant count" >mfw >mom and daughter laugh while I walk away Why are people so unappreciative? 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 10/23/17(Mon)23:27:58 No.40623659 Job Greentexts This happened last night. >Get job at McDonalds, need cash >Work in the back arranging the meals >qt 3.14 comes in with-8 yo daughter, asks for a chicken nugget Наррy Meal 225 KB PNG >daughter is really polite to casier, says please and everything >throw in an extra nugget because of her kindness >few mins later, manager tells me to mop a spill >its right next to the mom and her daughter >evesdrop on them >"Mommy look, the people in the back gave me an extra nugget, why?" >mom replies, "Its because they're dumb enough to work here that they cant count" >mfw >mom and daughter laugh while I walk away Why are people so unappreciative? 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon had a close call | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)17:09:57 No.63097143 >see girl dressed as my favorite character at a con >cute as hecc >start walking towards her gathering all the courage I have ever had >her ogre mom suddenly appears and talks to her >l immediately stop a few feet away and turn around think that was a close one anons, may have caught a felony despite her looking ~18 |
: Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)17:09:57 No.63097143 >see girl dressed as my favorite character at a con >cute as hecc >start walking towards her gathering all the courage I have ever had >her ogre mom suddenly appears and talks to her >l immediately stop a few feet away and turn around think that was a close one anons, may have caught a felony despite her looking ~18 |

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Anon is a modern Icarus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)00:40:07 No.119151659 >it's another "teeth falls out of your mouth" dream episode 201 KB PNG : Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:08:47 No.119155050 >>119151659 (OP) # The other day I had a dream that I could suck my own d--- but then I accidentally choked on it and died 64 KB JPG >>119155083 # >>119155341 # : Anonymou Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:24:37 No.119155341 : Anonymou >119155050 # A modern Icarus : Anonymou
: Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)00:40:07 No.119151659 >it's another "teeth falls out of your mouth" dream episode 201 KB PNG : Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:08:47 No.119155050 >>119151659 (OP) # The other day I had a dream that I could suck my own d--- but then I accidentally choked on it and died 64 KB JPG >>119155083 # >>119155341 # : Anonymou Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:24:37 No.119155341 : Anonymou >119155050 # A modern Icarus : Anonymou

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Anon has to pee | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)05:21:54 No.39418827 >Be in 7th grade >Have to piss >Teacher does that whole "I don't know, can you?" b------- >"May I use the restroom Mr. Anonderson" >Book it to bathroom while holding my peener hole closed >Urinals are taken >See unlocked stall >Kick the door open like they do in the movies >See kid squatting on the toilet, s------- frog style >See turd retreat back into his a------ like a scared turtle >Piss myself
E Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)05:21:54 No.39418827 >Be in 7th grade >Have to piss >Teacher does that whole "I don't know, can you?" b------- >"May I use the restroom Mr. Anonderson" >Book it to bathroom while holding my peener hole closed >Urinals are taken >See unlocked stall >Kick the door open like they do in the movies >See kid squatting on the toilet, s------- frog style >See turd retreat back into his a------ like a scared turtle >Piss myself

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Anon is gets fixed on a Quintessential Path of Sole Destruction | /r/Greentext

File: pepsiman.jpg (35 KB, 637x358) Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)22:54:23 No.63109336 ► >>63110213 >boss comes up to me at work >asks me to stop muttering things under my breath because some of the girls are getting scared work stories thread Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)00:02:33 No.63109981 ► >63110122 Stop muttering and start staring at them. Then when your boss warns you about that stop staring and start licking your lips. Then when they complain about that, start thrusting your hips a little when you walk. Their complaints are going to start making them sound ridiculous. PEPS
File: pepsiman.jpg (35 KB, 637x358) Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)22:54:23 No.63109336 ► >>63110213 >boss comes up to me at work >asks me to stop muttering things under my breath because some of the girls are getting scared work stories thread Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)00:02:33 No.63109981 ► >63110122 Stop muttering and start staring at them. Then when your boss warns you about that stop staring and start licking your lips. Then when they complain about that, start thrusting your hips a little when you walk. Their complaints are going to start making them sound ridiculous. PEPS

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Anon gets back at his teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)06:47:39 No.63109275 F--- >be me >11th grade >anatomy and physiology >dissecting sheep brains >annoying bitch teacher yelling at 4 KB PNG us for no reason >she does this s--- every day >l'm sick of this s--- >I form a plan >put plastic bag in trash can >throughout the lab I walk past every kid in class and whisper to them >put the brain in the plastic bag when you're done >class ends >we "throw our brains away" >secure bag >wait until school is over >wednesday so all the teachers have conferences after school >walk into her room >put all of the brains in a filing cabinet >next week >something f------ reeks >"WHO THE HELL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS" >stanky ass brains in the cabinet >nobody tells >l'm a free man >even gave one of them to the weird girl because she wanted to put it in a jar Sorry Mrs. P. You deserved it. >>63109359 #
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)06:47:39 No.63109275 F--- >be me >11th grade >anatomy and physiology >dissecting sheep brains >annoying bitch teacher yelling at 4 KB PNG us for no reason >she does this s--- every day >l'm sick of this s--- >I form a plan >put plastic bag in trash can >throughout the lab I walk past every kid in class and whisper to them >put the brain in the plastic bag when you're done >class ends >we "throw our brains away" >secure bag >wait until school is over >wednesday so all the teachers have conferences after school >walk into her room >put all of the brains in a filing cabinet >next week >something f------ reeks >"WHO THE HELL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS" >stanky ass brains in the cabinet >nobody tells >l'm a free man >even gave one of them to the weird girl because she wanted to put it in a jar Sorry Mrs. P. You deserved it. >>63109359 #

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Anon genuinely wanted to help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/21 (Wed)18:08:14 No.63097597 > be on a school trip to museum > open doors for girls > classmates laugh > couple weeks pass > Chad doess the same thing > he gets praised and applauded 13 KB JPG > help an old lady carry bags > 'will you f--- her haha? > Chad helps a woman > this is based 15 years later I still hate these people and have refrained from helping others which of course makes me an a------ You can't win. It is always a lose-lose
: Anonymous 04/07/21 (Wed)18:08:14 No.63097597 > be on a school trip to museum > open doors for girls > classmates laugh > couple weeks pass > Chad doess the same thing > he gets praised and applauded 13 KB JPG > help an old lady carry bags > 'will you f--- her haha? > Chad helps a woman > this is based 15 years later I still hate these people and have refrained from helping others which of course makes me an a------ You can't win. It is always a lose-lose

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