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/r9k/ fights back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)10:58:10 No.63111457 >an army of anons with GIRLFRIENDS and fulfilling LIVES are invading the /r9k/ fort! Quick anon, to the walls! Whats your class & special skill? 808 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)15:23:41 No.63113619 >>63111457 (OP) # >Class: Level 94 Virgin >Skill: "Femanon here" illusion spell 254 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)15:25:20 No.63113635 >class: bard >skill: be useless : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)16:54:03 No.63114676 class: worthless male >skill: I can be very stubborn in the face of adversity even though im useless and have no chance of being successful 171 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)10:58:10 No.63111457 >an army of anons with GIRLFRIENDS and fulfilling LIVES are invading the /r9k/ fort! Quick anon, to the walls! Whats your class & special skill? 808 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)15:23:41 No.63113619 >>63111457 (OP) # >Class: Level 94 Virgin >Skill: "Femanon here" illusion spell 254 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)15:25:20 No.63113635 >class: bard >skill: be useless : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)16:54:03 No.63114676 class: worthless male >skill: I can be very stubborn in the face of adversity even though im useless and have no chance of being successful 171 KB JPG

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Anon is getting old | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:17:18 No.63117302 >read article on news with statistics 1990 was 67 >your age group no longer is the youngest listed years ago. 55 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:17:18 No.63117302 >read article on news with statistics 1990 was 67 >your age group no longer is the youngest listed years ago. 55 KB PNG

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Hook and ladder | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)10:39:58 No.63114509 File: 2153sm.jpg (56 KB, 500x500) WORK NIGHT SHIFT >On tinder >Girl has "don't waste my time" in her bio >Think its code for escort because she matched with me >Meet up for coffee, start talking hiking >Odd she wants to hike with a client, probably getting a feel for it >Really like her, wonder if its some tactic >Back at my place try to ask price EXCUSE NOT TO ANSWER PHONE EVER >She finally gets what im trying to say >I try to back peddle because in my single mindedness I thought she just wanted money >She gets angry and leaves with tears in her eyes Most successful date ever and its because I thought she was a w----
O Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)10:39:58 No.63114509 File: 2153sm.jpg (56 KB, 500x500) WORK NIGHT SHIFT >On tinder >Girl has "don't waste my time" in her bio >Think its code for escort because she matched with me >Meet up for coffee, start talking hiking >Odd she wants to hike with a client, probably getting a feel for it >Really like her, wonder if its some tactic >Back at my place try to ask price EXCUSE NOT TO ANSWER PHONE EVER >She finally gets what im trying to say >I try to back peddle because in my single mindedness I thought she just wanted money >She gets angry and leaves with tears in her eyes Most successful date ever and its because I thought she was a w----

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Anon likes chicken | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Chicken man 04/08/21(Thu)23:57:52 No.63119648 >be me >main chicken related villain of popular tv show Breaking Bad >discover 4chan >never done this, but decide to write a funny greentext >anon gus 1.36 MB JPG
: Anonymous Chicken man 04/08/21(Thu)23:57:52 No.63119648 >be me >main chicken related villain of popular tv show Breaking Bad >discover 4chan >never done this, but decide to write a funny greentext >anon gus 1.36 MB JPG

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Anons autism kills doge | /r/Greentext

>>851607858 (OP) # >be me >huge autist >rode on my dog's back as a kid >not too hard so i don't kill him >felt like a cowboy 8 KB JPG >10 years later >he's old >he's arthritis ridden >his hind legs don't work anymore >he falls down all the time >mfw it's basically my fault >mfw my parents decide to put him down >another 10 years later >post about it on this dumbass board >first time I've told anyone >mfw basically murdered my dog and no one knows >851608722 # >>851610240 # >>851610720 # >>851611547 # >851612244 # >>851614401 # >>851615602 # >>851617265 # E Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:49:36 No.8516087: >>851608516 # >10 years later F------ retard, he was just an old dog. Stop being so f------ retarded, dogs having issues with joints is common as f---, especially in older dogs. Now f--- off back to highschool
>>851607858 (OP) # >be me >huge autist >rode on my dog's back as a kid >not too hard so i don't kill him >felt like a cowboy 8 KB JPG >10 years later >he's old >he's arthritis ridden >his hind legs don't work anymore >he falls down all the time >mfw it's basically my fault >mfw my parents decide to put him down >another 10 years later >post about it on this dumbass board >first time I've told anyone >mfw basically murdered my dog and no one knows >851608722 # >>851610240 # >>851610720 # >>851611547 # >851612244 # >>851614401 # >>851615602 # >>851617265 # E Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:49:36 No.8516087: >>851608516 # >10 years later F------ retard, he was just an old dog. Stop being so f------ retarded, dogs having issues with joints is common as f---, especially in older dogs. Now f--- off back to highschool

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Anon said 4 words | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)13:29:47 No.851603028 f--- reddit dude >read greentext about anon ® < O shoving and electric toothbrush up his ass and pretending its a period > comment "anon is a t-----" >get banned for 3 days Emitate Eurosport o Cristiano Ronaldo 'admits he's fed up with nig... 539 KB PNG 3 f------ words meanwhile i see actual f------ pedophiles admiting to it and jackshit happens but i say 3 f------ words and get banned
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)13:29:47 No.851603028 f--- reddit dude >read greentext about anon ® < O shoving and electric toothbrush up his ass and pretending its a period > comment "anon is a t-----" >get banned for 3 days Emitate Eurosport o Cristiano Ronaldo 'admits he's fed up with nig... 539 KB PNG 3 f------ words meanwhile i see actual f------ pedophiles admiting to it and jackshit happens but i say 3 f------ words and get banned

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If you're a retard, just unretard. | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a good job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/11/20(Sun)17:09:22 No.60423731 >my job is taking care of retards >this one retard is pretty chill >told by other staff he's aggressive but ive never seen it >big issue we're working on with him is hygiene and not making messes >tard eats an apple whole and machine gun fires seeds all over the living room 4 KB JPG >calmly tell him "Remember what we said about appropriate behavior man? Let's not make a mess of apple seeds okay buddy?" >he stares at me for a good 5 seconds then punches himself hard as f--- at his head >tard f------ sucker punched himself >tell him to not do that >punches himself in the skull again >we're told to not get physical with the tards unless they present a threat to others >now whenever he sees me he socks himself in the head >get paid 10/hr for this
: Anonymous 10/11/20(Sun)17:09:22 No.60423731 >my job is taking care of retards >this one retard is pretty chill >told by other staff he's aggressive but ive never seen it >big issue we're working on with him is hygiene and not making messes >tard eats an apple whole and machine gun fires seeds all over the living room 4 KB JPG >calmly tell him "Remember what we said about appropriate behavior man? Let's not make a mess of apple seeds okay buddy?" >he stares at me for a good 5 seconds then punches himself hard as f--- at his head >tard f------ sucker punched himself >tell him to not do that >punches himself in the skull again >we're told to not get physical with the tards unless they present a threat to others >now whenever he sees me he socks himself in the head >get paid 10/hr for this

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Anon thinks there's a bomb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)16:36:25 No.12941847 >>12939454 (OP) # >be uberfag sleeper >go to mathematics class with all the brainlets >"today we will begin the topology chapter" 64 KB JPG >all this trivial s--- about topological spaces >o s--- time for a nap >oh well 20 minutes is nothing >wake up >it's now all about 2,3-16 nondeterministic multivalued infinite dimensional smooth complex manifolds >oh_shit.jpg >try to take notes >what the f--- are these drawings supposed to depict? >what is a P° (C*)-monoid? >class ends >teacher says "don't forget the complex P vs NP assignment I gave you 15 minutes ago while this little bastard was sleeping" >everyone laughs at me and tells me I missed so much I'm literally f----- up >tfw fell for the ubermeme
: Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)16:36:25 No.12941847 >>12939454 (OP) # >be uberfag sleeper >go to mathematics class with all the brainlets >"today we will begin the topology chapter" 64 KB JPG >all this trivial s--- about topological spaces >o s--- time for a nap >oh well 20 minutes is nothing >wake up >it's now all about 2,3-16 nondeterministic multivalued infinite dimensional smooth complex manifolds >oh_shit.jpg >try to take notes >what the f--- are these drawings supposed to depict? >what is a P° (C*)-monoid? >class ends >teacher says "don't forget the complex P vs NP assignment I gave you 15 minutes ago while this little bastard was sleeping" >everyone laughs at me and tells me I missed so much I'm literally f----- up >tfw fell for the ubermeme

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Anon is a colonizer | /r/Greentext

File: Help me l'm s alone.jpg (171 KB, 1200x1200) O Anonymous 07/05/18(Thu)00:49:06 No.773407002 I find myself in an unfortunate situation, /b/. >Be white guy in college >Join board games club >Playing Risk with Native American guy >He controls North America >l invade, conquer and kill all the units he has there >He says 'f------ typical' and walks away from the game History repeats itself, /bl.
File: Help me l'm s alone.jpg (171 KB, 1200x1200) O Anonymous 07/05/18(Thu)00:49:06 No.773407002 I find myself in an unfortunate situation, /b/. >Be white guy in college >Join board games club >Playing Risk with Native American guy >He controls North America >l invade, conquer and kill all the units he has there >He says 'f------ typical' and walks away from the game History repeats itself, /bl.

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Anon doesn't like trannies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)18:24:56 No.63115736 Post stories of when you said things you really shouldn't have in that situation >be me in discord voice call with some pals >majority of the server is left-leaning to some degree 70 KB PNG >one 16 y/o neurodivergent (aka autistic) transmasc (goes by he/him) fellow >the topic somehow gets to the use of the r slur (RETARD) >the tran doesn't like it, talks about how they almost get panic attacks when they get called it >I spit out "Well if you want to be a boy so bad why don't you man the f--- up and take it" >call goes f------ silent for a solid 30 seconds, you can audibly tell the tran is starting to get distressed a bit >whoops I got kicked View Thread
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)18:24:56 No.63115736 Post stories of when you said things you really shouldn't have in that situation >be me in discord voice call with some pals >majority of the server is left-leaning to some degree 70 KB PNG >one 16 y/o neurodivergent (aka autistic) transmasc (goes by he/him) fellow >the topic somehow gets to the use of the r slur (RETARD) >the tran doesn't like it, talks about how they almost get panic attacks when they get called it >I spit out "Well if you want to be a boy so bad why don't you man the f--- up and take it" >call goes f------ silent for a solid 30 seconds, you can audibly tell the tran is starting to get distressed a bit >whoops I got kicked View Thread

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Anon doesn‘t plan ahead | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)14:36:35 No.63113170 >Finish taking a shower >Take a giant s--- right afterwards 235 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)14:36:35 No.63113170 >Finish taking a shower >Take a giant s--- right afterwards 235 KB JPG

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Anon likes mornings. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Optimistic /bots/ 05/14/18(Mon)05:43:07 No.45385219 > Wake up at 5:30am >Kinda early but I'm hungry >lt's chilly and dark outside >l wash my face and go to the kitchen wen day is dark alway rember happy day >I toast some bread and spread butter with strawberry jam 261 KB PNG >I like strawberry jam >Brew a cup of coffee >I like the smell of a fresh brewed cup >l go back to my room and open the window >The sounds of birds and the leaves are waving from the wind >A chilly wind cools me and I sit and sip from my cup >Eat toast >Just enjoy the sunrise and weather >Deeply breathe the fresh cold weather >Today is a good day >Stay optimistic /bots/ >l just like mornings
: Anonymous Optimistic /bots/ 05/14/18(Mon)05:43:07 No.45385219 > Wake up at 5:30am >Kinda early but I'm hungry >lt's chilly and dark outside >l wash my face and go to the kitchen wen day is dark alway rember happy day >I toast some bread and spread butter with strawberry jam 261 KB PNG >I like strawberry jam >Brew a cup of coffee >I like the smell of a fresh brewed cup >l go back to my room and open the window >The sounds of birds and the leaves are waving from the wind >A chilly wind cools me and I sit and sip from my cup >Eat toast >Just enjoy the sunrise and weather >Deeply breathe the fresh cold weather >Today is a good day >Stay optimistic /bots/ >l just like mornings

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Anon lacks self control | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:03:43 No.63066265 >Wake up. >Decide to have some cheesecake after breakfast. >End up eating the entire thing. It's not fair they should not be allowed to sell entire cheesecakes 61 KB JPG they know people will do this. 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:08:55 No.63066310 >>63066265 (OP) # Don't buy cheesecake in the first place fatty. >>63066349 # : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:09:38 No.63066320 >>63066265 (OP) # need tummy rubs?
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:03:43 No.63066265 >Wake up. >Decide to have some cheesecake after breakfast. >End up eating the entire thing. It's not fair they should not be allowed to sell entire cheesecakes 61 KB JPG they know people will do this. 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:08:55 No.63066310 >>63066265 (OP) # Don't buy cheesecake in the first place fatty. >>63066349 # : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:09:38 No.63066320 >>63066265 (OP) # need tummy rubs?

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Anon acts like a boomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous times you were based 04/08/21(Thu)06:00:38 No.63108824 >minding my own business at home on a Tuesday >hear noise outside >look out the window >some high schoolers making a ruckus on the sidewalk in front of 170 KB PNG my lawn when they should be at school >open window >YOU DAMN KIDS BETTER GET BACK TO CLASS AND GET OFF MY LAWN >they curse me and flip me off but leave anyways
: Anonymous times you were based 04/08/21(Thu)06:00:38 No.63108824 >minding my own business at home on a Tuesday >hear noise outside >look out the window >some high schoolers making a ruckus on the sidewalk in front of 170 KB PNG my lawn when they should be at school >open window >YOU DAMN KIDS BETTER GET BACK TO CLASS AND GET OFF MY LAWN >they curse me and flip me off but leave anyways

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anon has standards | /r/Greentext

File: 186115782387.jpg (483 KB, 1696x2480) O Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)01:47:19 No.63110377 [Reply] >ask cute girl out >she rejects me :( >ask another cute girl out >she rejects me too >ask really ugly girl out begrudgingly >she accepts and is way too happy >ghost her and never go outside again
File: 186115782387.jpg (483 KB, 1696x2480) O Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)01:47:19 No.63110377 [Reply] >ask cute girl out >she rejects me :( >ask another cute girl out >she rejects me too >ask really ugly girl out begrudgingly >she accepts and is way too happy >ghost her and never go outside again

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Anon is peeing on his girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)03:17:38 No.851552469 >be me >got a distance relationship >gf comes over for 2 weeks >she decided to take a 468 KB PNG shower >I go with her because why not >she started to take the shower and says >'ll pee >im disgusted and say that I don't want her to piss in my shower >she did it anyway >l see that the shower isn't entirely closed and I decided to piss into the shower >she screams: YOU PEED ON MY FEET Piss in my shower, I piss on you
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)03:17:38 No.851552469 >be me >got a distance relationship >gf comes over for 2 weeks >she decided to take a 468 KB PNG shower >I go with her because why not >she started to take the shower and says >'ll pee >im disgusted and say that I don't want her to piss in my shower >she did it anyway >l see that the shower isn't entirely closed and I decided to piss into the shower >she screams: YOU PEED ON MY FEET Piss in my shower, I piss on you

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Anon has a job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/23/17(Mon)23:27:58 No.40623659 Job Greentexts This happened last night. >Get job at McDonalds, need cash >Work in the back arranging the meals >qt 3.14 comes in with-8 yo daughter, asks for a chicken nugget Наррy Meal 225 KB PNG >daughter is really polite to casier, says please and everything >throw in an extra nugget because of her kindness >few mins later, manager tells me to mop a spill >its right next to the mom and her daughter >evesdrop on them >"Mommy look, the people in the back gave me an extra nugget, why?" >mom replies, "Its because they're dumb enough to work here that they cant count" >mfw >mom and daughter laugh while I walk away Why are people so unappreciative? 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 10/23/17(Mon)23:27:58 No.40623659 Job Greentexts This happened last night. >Get job at McDonalds, need cash >Work in the back arranging the meals >qt 3.14 comes in with-8 yo daughter, asks for a chicken nugget Наррy Meal 225 KB PNG >daughter is really polite to casier, says please and everything >throw in an extra nugget because of her kindness >few mins later, manager tells me to mop a spill >its right next to the mom and her daughter >evesdrop on them >"Mommy look, the people in the back gave me an extra nugget, why?" >mom replies, "Its because they're dumb enough to work here that they cant count" >mfw >mom and daughter laugh while I walk away Why are people so unappreciative? 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon had a close call | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)17:09:57 No.63097143 >see girl dressed as my favorite character at a con >cute as hecc >start walking towards her gathering all the courage I have ever had >her ogre mom suddenly appears and talks to her >l immediately stop a few feet away and turn around think that was a close one anons, may have caught a felony despite her looking ~18 |
: Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)17:09:57 No.63097143 >see girl dressed as my favorite character at a con >cute as hecc >start walking towards her gathering all the courage I have ever had >her ogre mom suddenly appears and talks to her >l immediately stop a few feet away and turn around think that was a close one anons, may have caught a felony despite her looking ~18 |

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Anon is a modern Icarus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)00:40:07 No.119151659 >it's another "teeth falls out of your mouth" dream episode 201 KB PNG : Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:08:47 No.119155050 >>119151659 (OP) # The other day I had a dream that I could suck my own d--- but then I accidentally choked on it and died 64 KB JPG >>119155083 # >>119155341 # : Anonymou Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:24:37 No.119155341 : Anonymou >119155050 # A modern Icarus : Anonymou
: Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)00:40:07 No.119151659 >it's another "teeth falls out of your mouth" dream episode 201 KB PNG : Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:08:47 No.119155050 >>119151659 (OP) # The other day I had a dream that I could suck my own d--- but then I accidentally choked on it and died 64 KB JPG >>119155083 # >>119155341 # : Anonymou Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:24:37 No.119155341 : Anonymou >119155050 # A modern Icarus : Anonymou

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