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Mood swings | /r/Greentext

Ivl Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)20:53:25 No.551332978 >ask friend if he wants to play X game with me. >he says no, not in mood. >10 minutes later I see him and my other friends playing the game without me. 318 KB PNG >l have never been invited to play a game with any of my friends before.
Ivl Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)20:53:25 No.551332978 >ask friend if he wants to play X game with me. >he says no, not in mood. >10 minutes later I see him and my other friends playing the game without me. 318 KB PNG >l have never been invited to play a game with any of my friends before.

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Anon is strong | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)01:47:02 No.60120631 File: 72a75deb3d4406e2ee1d39f83(...).jpg (38 KB, 550x550) >>60120800 > l'll start, happened last week >be new lifter, first time in gym >no idea what im doing >no idea what i can lift >decide to try and squat heavy >go to squat rack >load up many plates on the bar >attempt to get under and lift bar >felt like i was pushing a brick wall >give up on that idea and start unloading bar >unload all the plates off one side only first >bar tips over and flies off squat rack >bar hits into mirror, smashes it >whole gym stops and looks at me >run out of gym and cry in my car >never return >mfw
O Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)01:47:02 No.60120631 File: 72a75deb3d4406e2ee1d39f83(...).jpg (38 KB, 550x550) >>60120800 > l'll start, happened last week >be new lifter, first time in gym >no idea what im doing >no idea what i can lift >decide to try and squat heavy >go to squat rack >load up many plates on the bar >attempt to get under and lift bar >felt like i was pushing a brick wall >give up on that idea and start unloading bar >unload all the plates off one side only first >bar tips over and flies off squat rack >bar hits into mirror, smashes it >whole gym stops and looks at me >run out of gym and cry in my car >never return >mfw

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Anon hosts Egg Day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)17:21:50 No.851708382 >be me >10th grade surer. >autist spaz but people somehow liked it >be really good at making egg stuff >decide to host a party that i called "egg day!!" >did not realize actual egg day is june 3 World Egg Day 2020 364 KB PNG >invite friends to egg day!! >about 8 confirmed >realize i cannot comprehend how much of each ingredient i need >freak out >but like 10 dozen eggs and a bunch of random produce and meat >the day comes >people show up, happy >realize i can make food for, at most, 4 people at a time >realize i didn't boil or devil any eggs >people want the ingredient i did not think to buy, hot реppers >think to myself "i really made a clown of myself here" >didn't matter >people still had fun >people still enjoyed egg day!! >egg day!! happened 7 years ago today >how did you spend your egg day!!?
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)17:21:50 No.851708382 >be me >10th grade surer. >autist spaz but people somehow liked it >be really good at making egg stuff >decide to host a party that i called "egg day!!" >did not realize actual egg day is june 3 World Egg Day 2020 364 KB PNG >invite friends to egg day!! >about 8 confirmed >realize i cannot comprehend how much of each ingredient i need >freak out >but like 10 dozen eggs and a bunch of random produce and meat >the day comes >people show up, happy >realize i can make food for, at most, 4 people at a time >realize i didn't boil or devil any eggs >people want the ingredient i did not think to buy, hot реppers >think to myself "i really made a clown of myself here" >didn't matter >people still had fun >people still enjoyed egg day!! >egg day!! happened 7 years ago today >how did you spend your egg day!!?

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Anon questions redditors. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)23:27:06 No.851720602 >go on reddit >sort by popular >someone posted a news article that won't matter in a couple months >didn't add anything, didn't create anything, just timed submitting a 319 KB PNG news article >38 unique reddit user awards >count of reddit awards displayed prominently on post as they come in >realize someone saw 37 total awards had been given to the post >someone still spent $4.99 to give a 38th award >mfw
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)23:27:06 No.851720602 >go on reddit >sort by popular >someone posted a news article that won't matter in a couple months >didn't add anything, didn't create anything, just timed submitting a 319 KB PNG news article >38 unique reddit user awards >count of reddit awards displayed prominently on post as they come in >realize someone saw 37 total awards had been given to the post >someone still spent $4.99 to give a 38th award >mfw

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Anon fights capitalism | /r/Greentext

: Petrol 04/09/21(Fri)17:23:48 No.63131741 >be me >horny 15yo >post benis on PornHub >3 years later problem? >PornHub sets a new rule that only allows verified posters to post stuff like that just because 185 KB PNG of my benis >tfw crippled a 1.5 billion $ company just by posting one j------- photo of my underage benis >>63131887 #
: Petrol 04/09/21(Fri)17:23:48 No.63131741 >be me >horny 15yo >post benis on PornHub >3 years later problem? >PornHub sets a new rule that only allows verified posters to post stuff like that just because 185 KB PNG of my benis >tfw crippled a 1.5 billion $ company just by posting one j------- photo of my underage benis >>63131887 #

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Anon gets Reddit'd | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)11:17:12 No.844890355 >Be me >Want to make a post on 4chan >Make a nice wholesome story about my dad >Spend long time on it to make sure that it's good >Post my art 61 KB JPG >Some reddit normie sees this >He smells the karma and posts it in r/greentexts >He gets hundreds of upvotes from my hardwork >Mfw Why are redditers like this, Anons? They're probably going to see this thread and post it for karma. I see you, reddit.
: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)11:17:12 No.844890355 >Be me >Want to make a post on 4chan >Make a nice wholesome story about my dad >Spend long time on it to make sure that it's good >Post my art 61 KB JPG >Some reddit normie sees this >He smells the karma and posts it in r/greentexts >He gets hundreds of upvotes from my hardwork >Mfw Why are redditers like this, Anons? They're probably going to see this thread and post it for karma. I see you, reddit.

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Anon found us out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)01:47:45 No.851702021 >be me, high school f-- >in class we have a f--- ton of girls, ranging from 6/10 to 11/10 >one of them has caught my interest for a while now >roughly 7/10 if you ask others, for me its a 10/10 >glasses, brown hair, somewhat 10 KB JPG same height as me >assume shes as much as a social outcast as i am, neither of us have a friend circle to belong into >decide to try and talk to her >suddenly burp before i can even say anything >she and the whole class bursts out laughing I hate school so much, i get bullied by these f------ everyday about this. But suddenly.. >be r/greentext reposter >see my story, chuckle while uploading a decreased quality screenshot to the reddit hivemind >type with hairy ass cheecks "anon tries to talk to the shy girl" and click upload And now.. >be you >redditfag >you see my 4chan story on r/greentext >you start snorting like the pig you are while reviewing my story >you reach with your grease-covered thumb for the upvote button, and you type a paragraph of what i did wrong So, hows your day, fellow non redditors?
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)01:47:45 No.851702021 >be me, high school f-- >in class we have a f--- ton of girls, ranging from 6/10 to 11/10 >one of them has caught my interest for a while now >roughly 7/10 if you ask others, for me its a 10/10 >glasses, brown hair, somewhat 10 KB JPG same height as me >assume shes as much as a social outcast as i am, neither of us have a friend circle to belong into >decide to try and talk to her >suddenly burp before i can even say anything >she and the whole class bursts out laughing I hate school so much, i get bullied by these f------ everyday about this. But suddenly.. >be r/greentext reposter >see my story, chuckle while uploading a decreased quality screenshot to the reddit hivemind >type with hairy ass cheecks "anon tries to talk to the shy girl" and click upload And now.. >be you >redditfag >you see my 4chan story on r/greentext >you start snorting like the pig you are while reviewing my story >you reach with your grease-covered thumb for the upvote button, and you type a paragraph of what i did wrong So, hows your day, fellow non redditors?

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Anon ridicules Prince Philip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)22:30:00 No.851693529 > be Prince Philip > be a loading bar > going through life fine > oops car crash > pause loading.jpg > get out of hospital and keep loading life > 99% complete 289 KB JPG > Error 404: life not found Imao not even king
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)22:30:00 No.851693529 > be Prince Philip > be a loading bar > going through life fine > oops car crash > pause loading.jpg > get out of hospital and keep loading life > 99% complete 289 KB JPG > Error 404: life not found Imao not even king

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Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)22:08:11 No.63135418 >started trading hentai pictures on whatsapp with my moms boyfriend again >she actually found out about it because she looked at his 47 KB JPG whatsapp chat for some f------ reason im not gonna lie, this feels really awkward
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)22:08:11 No.63135418 >started trading hentai pictures on whatsapp with my moms boyfriend again >she actually found out about it because she looked at his 47 KB JPG whatsapp chat for some f------ reason im not gonna lie, this feels really awkward

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Anon fell for the meme | /r/Greentext

>be me >from Alabama >decide l'm gonna f--- my hot ass sister >go to her room butt ass naked at 11 at night >"what're you doing anon?" >we'regonnafuck.jpg >she freaks out and tells me to leave 423,6 kB PNG >mom and dad told me I have to move out the next morning You guys said it was ok to duck your sister in Alabama Why did you f------ lie to me?
>be me >from Alabama >decide l'm gonna f--- my hot ass sister >go to her room butt ass naked at 11 at night >"what're you doing anon?" >we'regonnafuck.jpg >she freaks out and tells me to leave 423,6 kB PNG >mom and dad told me I have to move out the next morning You guys said it was ok to duck your sister in Alabama Why did you f------ lie to me?

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alpha af | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Sat 28 Dec 2019 14:14:17 No.817176079 View Quoted By: >>817176124 >>817176178 > On the train to London > Really need to fart > Starting to hurt a bit > Starting to hurt a lot > Train shakes a little, want get up to go to the bathroom before I f------ burst > Don't get the chance, my sphincter can no longer take the strain > Manage to discreetly edge my buttcheeks apart, comes out slowly but silently > Pass gas for a Solid 60 seconds > Oh no > Oh god the f------ smell > People are looking at each other > It's really f------ bad. > enemyspotted.jpeg > A foreign smell impacts my nostrils > The dude opposite me is staring me right in the eyes > He f------ knows, and ripped one of his own > It's f------ on > Spread the cheeks a little wider, much as I dare > Push > Clearly and loudly s--- myself staring into the eyes of a complete stranger. What's your commute like /b/?
Anonymous Sat 28 Dec 2019 14:14:17 No.817176079 View Quoted By: >>817176124 >>817176178 > On the train to London > Really need to fart > Starting to hurt a bit > Starting to hurt a lot > Train shakes a little, want get up to go to the bathroom before I f------ burst > Don't get the chance, my sphincter can no longer take the strain > Manage to discreetly edge my buttcheeks apart, comes out slowly but silently > Pass gas for a Solid 60 seconds > Oh no > Oh god the f------ smell > People are looking at each other > It's really f------ bad. > enemyspotted.jpeg > A foreign smell impacts my nostrils > The dude opposite me is staring me right in the eyes > He f------ knows, and ripped one of his own > It's f------ on > Spread the cheeks a little wider, much as I dare > Push > Clearly and loudly s--- myself staring into the eyes of a complete stranger. What's your commute like /b/?

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Anon is living the good life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)17:36:30 No.63131917 >feeling down >take massive s--- VOLINERE NEVS >feel better life is easy 216 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)17:36:30 No.63131917 >feeling down >take massive s--- VOLINERE NEVS >feel better life is easy 216 KB JPG

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Anon hates redundancy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)16:15:46 No.63130968 >rightclicked open in new tab for a link that would have opened in a new tab from a left click anyway 37 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)16:15:46 No.63130968 >rightclicked open in new tab for a link that would have opened in a new tab from a left click anyway 37 KB JPG

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Anon daydreams about being socially responsible | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)10:05:56 No.851682416 be me 19 year-old kissless virgin >doing a internship at a hospital >working with 7/10 qt3.14 >she's a bit older than me but still looks cute in the scrubs >seems cool when we're in a group but gets weird when it's just the two of us 153 KB JPG >gets clumsy >laughs at every f------ thing I say even if I don't mean to make a joke >winks repeatedly >touches my hands/hair/whatever all the f------ time (despite COVID) Is this girl f------ retarded?
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)10:05:56 No.851682416 be me 19 year-old kissless virgin >doing a internship at a hospital >working with 7/10 qt3.14 >she's a bit older than me but still looks cute in the scrubs >seems cool when we're in a group but gets weird when it's just the two of us 153 KB JPG >gets clumsy >laughs at every f------ thing I say even if I don't mean to make a joke >winks repeatedly >touches my hands/hair/whatever all the f------ time (despite COVID) Is this girl f------ retarded?

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Anon likes his job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)11:39:12 No.803525737 >Be me >cart pusher at ikea >8 hour shift >working hard >38 degree celsius >the sun is burning me >f------ exhausted and 78 KB JPG depressed >feel something poking me >it's a kid >max 4 years old >"Sir, can I have this cart please" >l smile >"of course , buddy" >he thanks me and runs with it towards his mom >my day is suddenly slightly better >finish shift >go back home >j-------, thinking about the little kid >sleep I like my job
: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)11:39:12 No.803525737 >Be me >cart pusher at ikea >8 hour shift >working hard >38 degree celsius >the sun is burning me >f------ exhausted and 78 KB JPG depressed >feel something poking me >it's a kid >max 4 years old >"Sir, can I have this cart please" >l smile >"of course , buddy" >he thanks me and runs with it towards his mom >my day is suddenly slightly better >finish shift >go back home >j-------, thinking about the little kid >sleep I like my job

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Anon dodged a bullet there | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)08:04:09 No.23924570 >met gf in mid november >getting along ok >walking along last night >talking about one of my friends >she doesnt like this guy because he likes going to clubs, casinos, strip clubs, s--- like that >she asks if theres anything he likes that doesnt involve degrading women >mention that he likes to go to the gun range >she goes on a rant about how she's a liberal, doesnt like guns, respects women, doesnt like 203 KB PNG trump supporters, blah blah blah >she believes my friend must be a trump supporter and has a negative opinion of him >he actually voted for biden, didnt tell her that >i voted for trump, didnt tell her that i think i might be in trouble here bros
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)08:04:09 No.23924570 >met gf in mid november >getting along ok >walking along last night >talking about one of my friends >she doesnt like this guy because he likes going to clubs, casinos, strip clubs, s--- like that >she asks if theres anything he likes that doesnt involve degrading women >mention that he likes to go to the gun range >she goes on a rant about how she's a liberal, doesnt like guns, respects women, doesnt like 203 KB PNG trump supporters, blah blah blah >she believes my friend must be a trump supporter and has a negative opinion of him >he actually voted for biden, didnt tell her that >i voted for trump, didnt tell her that i think i might be in trouble here bros

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Anon is an engineer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/21/16(Sun)19:36:58 No.670088283 I used to regularly use classmates as sentry guns in elementary school. The situation basically went like this each time: > Be me in elementary school, circa 1991 > Go to the bathroom during second recess, shortly after lunch ended > Bide my time in a toilet stall| > Wait until a line of 3 or more kids are using the urinals > Target the one that just started peeing, less likely chance he'll stop > Run up behind him, simultaneously knee him in the ass and grab him by the shoulders > Kid can't stop peeing > Can control direction of piss stream by moving his shoulders left and right > Use him as a sentry gun to fire piss at other students > Run away when piss stream begins to weaken
: Anonymous 02/21/16(Sun)19:36:58 No.670088283 I used to regularly use classmates as sentry guns in elementary school. The situation basically went like this each time: > Be me in elementary school, circa 1991 > Go to the bathroom during second recess, shortly after lunch ended > Bide my time in a toilet stall| > Wait until a line of 3 or more kids are using the urinals > Target the one that just started peeing, less likely chance he'll stop > Run up behind him, simultaneously knee him in the ass and grab him by the shoulders > Kid can't stop peeing > Can control direction of piss stream by moving his shoulders left and right > Use him as a sentry gun to fire piss at other students > Run away when piss stream begins to weaken

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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21 (Fri)04:18:28 No.63121242 >>63121036 (OP) # >be around 16 years old >docs prescribe me antipsychotics and antidepressants >horny calls >j------- for 4 hours without 47 KB PNG c------ >know my mother has sex toys >try to sneak in without waking anyone up >sex toy box makes loud f------ noise >mother is now awake >"anon what are you doing" >desperate times call for desperate measures >"uh you uhh y-you have been... on antidepressants before?" >"yeah.. what does that have to do with my stuff?" >"you... ever.. find it hard to c--?" >cue laughing >"there's an unopened vibrator over here" >slink back to my room with the sound of peeling plastic >sit in my room for another hour attempting to disassociate enough to forget where I got the vibrator from >c-- and cry >>63121369 # >>63121768 # >>63122412 #
: Anonymous 04/09/21 (Fri)04:18:28 No.63121242 >>63121036 (OP) # >be around 16 years old >docs prescribe me antipsychotics and antidepressants >horny calls >j------- for 4 hours without 47 KB PNG c------ >know my mother has sex toys >try to sneak in without waking anyone up >sex toy box makes loud f------ noise >mother is now awake >"anon what are you doing" >desperate times call for desperate measures >"uh you uhh y-you have been... on antidepressants before?" >"yeah.. what does that have to do with my stuff?" >"you... ever.. find it hard to c--?" >cue laughing >"there's an unopened vibrator over here" >slink back to my room with the sound of peeling plastic >sit in my room for another hour attempting to disassociate enough to forget where I got the vibrator from >c-- and cry >>63121369 # >>63121768 # >>63122412 #

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Anon needs help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)19:54:09 No.842339156 >be me >go out drinking with the boys >get super drunk >wake up in someone else's bed >look over and see 7/10 girl >find my clothes with phone in pocket >check messages 89 KB PNG >7 missed calls from dad, 4 from mom >texts from boys asking where I'm at >most recent message sent was to black uncle >called him n word for no reason >mfw when parents think I'm kidnapped, boys think I'm dead, and uncle thins I'm a racist what do anons?
: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)19:54:09 No.842339156 >be me >go out drinking with the boys >get super drunk >wake up in someone else's bed >look over and see 7/10 girl >find my clothes with phone in pocket >check messages 89 KB PNG >7 missed calls from dad, 4 from mom >texts from boys asking where I'm at >most recent message sent was to black uncle >called him n word for no reason >mfw when parents think I'm kidnapped, boys think I'm dead, and uncle thins I'm a racist what do anons?

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Anon is an idiot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)22:07:31 No.851637496 those times when going full retard came with pain I'll start. >Be me lying in bed >A------ itches >Scratch it 25 KB JPG >Doesn't stop itching >Decide to go to toilet and wipe a------ with toilet раper. >No toilet paper f---.mov >see toilet scrubber >use that to scratch my a------ >f--- that hurt >realise I ripped out my a------ hair >a------ feels like its on fire >cry it still hurts
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)22:07:31 No.851637496 those times when going full retard came with pain I'll start. >Be me lying in bed >A------ itches >Scratch it 25 KB JPG >Doesn't stop itching >Decide to go to toilet and wipe a------ with toilet раper. >No toilet paper f---.mov >see toilet scrubber >use that to scratch my a------ >f--- that hurt >realise I ripped out my a------ hair >a------ feels like its on fire >cry it still hurts

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