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Anon has a little sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)17:44:16 No.63147684 >Little sister cries >Tell her that no one gives a f--- and she can stop crying Getting rid of the female victim complex before it even begins 7 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)17:44:16 No.63147684 >Little sister cries >Tell her that no one gives a f--- and she can stop crying Getting rid of the female victim complex before it even begins 7 KB PNG

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Anon doesn't understand redditors | /r/Greentext

> be me > first day as Redditfag > heard they're all smart > thought that I can learn something new from the comments > look at the top comment > 1.4k upvotes 23 KB JPG >it said "nice" >ldon'tgetit.jpeg >look at the second most upvoted comment > it said "nice" >look at the most downvoted comment >it said "nice" >mfw
> be me > first day as Redditfag > heard they're all smart > thought that I can learn something new from the comments > look at the top comment > 1.4k upvotes 23 KB JPG >it said "nice" >ldon'tgetit.jpeg >look at the second most upvoted comment > it said "nice" >look at the most downvoted comment >it said "nice" >mfw

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Anon forgets to close his door | /r/Greentext

>couple of hours ago >jacking off in my room >about to bust >remember i forgot to lock the door >turn around to check >my sister is watching me >no idea how long she's been there >we stare at each other as i c-- >she closes the door and leaves >havent left my room since what do? 14m (4/10 22:50) · 851753752 PNG · 92KB · (1572 × 1796) >>851753413 (OP) f--- her.
>couple of hours ago >jacking off in my room >about to bust >remember i forgot to lock the door >turn around to check >my sister is watching me >no idea how long she's been there >we stare at each other as i c-- >she closes the door and leaves >havent left my room since what do? 14m (4/10 22:50) · 851753752 PNG · 92KB · (1572 × 1796) >>851753413 (OP) f--- her.

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Reminising ? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/20(Sat)15:36:41 No.839536773 >wake up >check internet >china still exists >day ruined 10 KB JPG 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 11/07/20(Sat)15:36:41 No.839536773 >wake up >check internet >china still exists >day ruined 10 KB JPG 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon hits rock bottom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What's your absolute rock bott(...) 04/09/21(Fri)18:49:49 No.63132830 >late night >high from drugs and alcohol >ate $35 of McDonald's by myself >coomed 5 times in a row >watched most f----- up p--- >live at parents house so paranoid from being high, hiding in my bedroom 56 KB JPG >Been on the computer all day >dehydrated, won't go downstairs for water because too f----- up >get too horny, goes on grindr >total fear drive to a discreet hookup >f---- a obese bottom in the ass >s--- d---, bottom ate Chipotle >wipes up in bathroom >drive home in total shame knowing that I'm a f----- even tho I'm not and just got to horny >sees my mum eating dinner, full shame, runs upstairs to my room >curl up in my bed >head beating from the shame, the drugs, and the drained dopamine from spending all my time on the computer >can't sleep
: Anonymous What's your absolute rock bott(...) 04/09/21(Fri)18:49:49 No.63132830 >late night >high from drugs and alcohol >ate $35 of McDonald's by myself >coomed 5 times in a row >watched most f----- up p--- >live at parents house so paranoid from being high, hiding in my bedroom 56 KB JPG >Been on the computer all day >dehydrated, won't go downstairs for water because too f----- up >get too horny, goes on grindr >total fear drive to a discreet hookup >f---- a obese bottom in the ass >s--- d---, bottom ate Chipotle >wipes up in bathroom >drive home in total shame knowing that I'm a f----- even tho I'm not and just got to horny >sees my mum eating dinner, full shame, runs upstairs to my room >curl up in my bed >head beating from the shame, the drugs, and the drained dopamine from spending all my time on the computer >can't sleep

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Anon assaults a senior citizen | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/20(Thu)22:22:52 No.819601017 Random stories about when you were young thread. I'll start. >be me, like 7 >be with mom's friend's son >very close to him and protective, treat him like a younger brother, or a cousin 54 KB JPG >One day out waking with him >Some guy comes up to us and says hi >gives me candy >then he asked if my mom's friend's son how we knew each other >tell him that he is my cousin >mind you, I live in an asian country, and the people here are kind of ignorant, especially the older generation >in broken English, he asks, "if he's your brother, how come his skin very black?" >without thinking, punch the guy square in the gut >he lets out a loud, almost comedic, oomph >we both run away >mfw I knocked the wind out of some random old guy in front of a 3 year old and just bolted What do you think guys, did 7 year old me do the right thing?
: Anonymous 01/30/20(Thu)22:22:52 No.819601017 Random stories about when you were young thread. I'll start. >be me, like 7 >be with mom's friend's son >very close to him and protective, treat him like a younger brother, or a cousin 54 KB JPG >One day out waking with him >Some guy comes up to us and says hi >gives me candy >then he asked if my mom's friend's son how we knew each other >tell him that he is my cousin >mind you, I live in an asian country, and the people here are kind of ignorant, especially the older generation >in broken English, he asks, "if he's your brother, how come his skin very black?" >without thinking, punch the guy square in the gut >he lets out a loud, almost comedic, oomph >we both run away >mfw I knocked the wind out of some random old guy in front of a 3 year old and just bolted What do you think guys, did 7 year old me do the right thing?

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Are you not entertained? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)03:03:41 No.149343080 >Start movie >After 20 minutes turn it off because I don't care anymore 57 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)03:03:41 No.149343080 >Start movie >After 20 minutes turn it off because I don't care anymore 57 KB JPG

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Anon discovers Tinder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)21:24:25 No.63134762 This happened a long time ago > create fake profile on Tinder of a 9/10 Chad with a distinct jawline > only one picture, no bio > instantly get matches > chicks send me gifs or start 74 KB JPG convos > respond to some of them > be provocative and let them do the talking > ask them to guess things about me like what | do for a living or what hobbies I have > if they guess wrong I scold them and they begin to apologize > to some of them I tell that I have no hobbies and they begin to support me telling me that it is allright and not everyone has to have them It was so easy... Decide to create a real profile > 0 matches > takes days to get some of them > decide to act like Chad not giving a f--- > either get ignored or unmatched
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)21:24:25 No.63134762 This happened a long time ago > create fake profile on Tinder of a 9/10 Chad with a distinct jawline > only one picture, no bio > instantly get matches > chicks send me gifs or start 74 KB JPG convos > respond to some of them > be provocative and let them do the talking > ask them to guess things about me like what | do for a living or what hobbies I have > if they guess wrong I scold them and they begin to apologize > to some of them I tell that I have no hobbies and they begin to support me telling me that it is allright and not everyone has to have them It was so easy... Decide to create a real profile > 0 matches > takes days to get some of them > decide to act like Chad not giving a f--- > either get ignored or unmatched

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Anon is confronted by an SJW | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)11:16:38 No.851683068 >be me, 33 >got new job in office, full of cubicles >be a baritone singer in my spare time, sing in a lot of religious events ever since i was 18 >catholic church near office building, large church with large bell tower >work on my stuff til 12 oclock, and the bell tower starts 459 KB JPG playing the AveMaria >out of pure reflez y started singing along, firts very low but by half the song i was doing a voice that could be heard 2 cubicles away >stopped when i felt the awkward looks >got back to work, pretend nothing happened >noticed a blue haired girl frowning at me >HR calls me, they warn me against doing anything religious that might make my coworkers feel i'm forcing my religion onto them >the blue haired girl now watches my back, seems like she wants me fired >should i put up with her or should i just quit and wait for the religious services to start again so i can make a living by singing again?
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)11:16:38 No.851683068 >be me, 33 >got new job in office, full of cubicles >be a baritone singer in my spare time, sing in a lot of religious events ever since i was 18 >catholic church near office building, large church with large bell tower >work on my stuff til 12 oclock, and the bell tower starts 459 KB JPG playing the AveMaria >out of pure reflez y started singing along, firts very low but by half the song i was doing a voice that could be heard 2 cubicles away >stopped when i felt the awkward looks >got back to work, pretend nothing happened >noticed a blue haired girl frowning at me >HR calls me, they warn me against doing anything religious that might make my coworkers feel i'm forcing my religion onto them >the blue haired girl now watches my back, seems like she wants me fired >should i put up with her or should i just quit and wait for the religious services to start again so i can make a living by singing again?

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Anon has surgery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)20:29:19 No.851720761 ITT post comfy feels The comfiest I've ever felt was this: >Be me >Last year >Getting a surgery >Put on those 3m grip socks and the hospital gown 915 KB PNG >Gown has these plastic vent ports >Get walked into the surgery room when it's time >Lay down on the surgery table >The nurses put one arm out to the side for an IV and I get strapped down >They put these hoses onto the gown and it starts blowing warm air >Get wrapped in a hospital blanket, super cozy >Anesthetic gets put into my IV drip >Fall asleep to the feeling of warmth and the soft voice of the nurse It was nice and then I woke up and got taken home by my girlfriend. Feels good man. I know it's weird but it felt strangely comfortable to me.
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)20:29:19 No.851720761 ITT post comfy feels The comfiest I've ever felt was this: >Be me >Last year >Getting a surgery >Put on those 3m grip socks and the hospital gown 915 KB PNG >Gown has these plastic vent ports >Get walked into the surgery room when it's time >Lay down on the surgery table >The nurses put one arm out to the side for an IV and I get strapped down >They put these hoses onto the gown and it starts blowing warm air >Get wrapped in a hospital blanket, super cozy >Anesthetic gets put into my IV drip >Fall asleep to the feeling of warmth and the soft voice of the nurse It was nice and then I woke up and got taken home by my girlfriend. Feels good man. I know it's weird but it felt strangely comfortable to me.

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Anon finally feels appreciated | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)05:05:02 No.63140749 Hey guys I haven't done this in a long time but just wanted to share with similar individuals who may appreciate this >Be me, shy, basically socially 55 KB JPG retarded >Can almost count on one hand how many times I've went out and done things in public places on a weekend >Went out to trivia night at a local bar with friends for 3rd time >almost always just end up sitting there and being useless as usual >This time I actually know the answer to 3 very high point questions that nobody else knew >Our team gets the most points it ever has >Teammates actually happy I was there >Mfw I was genuinely useful to people I care about It sure felt good, especially since I'm dealing with some stupid family drama right now.
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)05:05:02 No.63140749 Hey guys I haven't done this in a long time but just wanted to share with similar individuals who may appreciate this >Be me, shy, basically socially 55 KB JPG retarded >Can almost count on one hand how many times I've went out and done things in public places on a weekend >Went out to trivia night at a local bar with friends for 3rd time >almost always just end up sitting there and being useless as usual >This time I actually know the answer to 3 very high point questions that nobody else knew >Our team gets the most points it ever has >Teammates actually happy I was there >Mfw I was genuinely useful to people I care about It sure felt good, especially since I'm dealing with some stupid family drama right now.

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Makes sense | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 04/03/20(Fri)11:49:06 No.57473827 >I'm just like you, Anon! And yeah I've been in two relationships before turning 20, have experienced teenage love and sex, have a steady circle of friends consisting of 10+ people, drink alcohol, get invited to parties, travel to other countries on a 112 KB JPG monthly basis, go to concerts, men constantly hitting on me, etc, but hey! I'm an unadjusted social outcast weirdo such as YOURSELF! tee hee :D :) XD
| Anonymous 04/03/20(Fri)11:49:06 No.57473827 >I'm just like you, Anon! And yeah I've been in two relationships before turning 20, have experienced teenage love and sex, have a steady circle of friends consisting of 10+ people, drink alcohol, get invited to parties, travel to other countries on a 112 KB JPG monthly basis, go to concerts, men constantly hitting on me, etc, but hey! I'm an unadjusted social outcast weirdo such as YOURSELF! tee hee :D :) XD

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Frisbee night | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/21 (Wed)10:09:21 No.28149598 >>28094304 (OP) # >be me, about 21 years old >chilling in the lounge on a Saturday arvo with two bros, waiting for more mates and our girls to show up for drinks 18 KB JPG >get phone call >it's from my own number, which is pretty weird >answer the call and it's all staticky and muffled but I can hear a bunch of people talking and some metal playing - hed pe's bartender >goes on for a few seconds before there's louder scuffling and scratching >voice says "ah f---, butt dialled someone lol" then call ends >a few hours later, everyone is chilling, chatting and whatnot. Gonna go have a smoke on the balcony, grab my ciggies and my phone and see I called someone. Say "ah f---, butt dialled someone, lol" >mfw it clicks.
: Anonymous 04/07/21 (Wed)10:09:21 No.28149598 >>28094304 (OP) # >be me, about 21 years old >chilling in the lounge on a Saturday arvo with two bros, waiting for more mates and our girls to show up for drinks 18 KB JPG >get phone call >it's from my own number, which is pretty weird >answer the call and it's all staticky and muffled but I can hear a bunch of people talking and some metal playing - hed pe's bartender >goes on for a few seconds before there's louder scuffling and scratching >voice says "ah f---, butt dialled someone lol" then call ends >a few hours later, everyone is chilling, chatting and whatnot. Gonna go have a smoke on the balcony, grab my ciggies and my phone and see I called someone. Say "ah f---, butt dialled someone, lol" >mfw it clicks.

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I don't know what to title this | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 hours ago 69470695 >email account got tagged for spam >just for sending my resumes to companies that were hiring I want to die
Anonymous 8 hours ago 69470695 >email account got tagged for spam >just for sending my resumes to companies that were hiring I want to die

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Ano is turning gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)17:50:08 No.63129831 >Tfw deepthoat bananas before eating them everytime for fun Im turning gay, arent I? 21 KB JPG 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)17:50:08 No.63129831 >Tfw deepthoat bananas before eating them everytime for fun Im turning gay, arent I? 21 KB JPG 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is a boomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)00:41:34 No.63137665 >be "boomer" >open a discord server related to my hobby >a million different channels and constant blooping noises >everybody has their ugly face showing or some queer cartoon avatar version of themselves Regret. Regret. Regret. 54 KB JPG >server rules is a bunch of gay s--- about not being "toxic" and basically not being allowed to say anything negative or have an opinion on anything thus ensuring conversation must be as sterile as possible w-- man this sucks
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)00:41:34 No.63137665 >be "boomer" >open a discord server related to my hobby >a million different channels and constant blooping noises >everybody has their ugly face showing or some queer cartoon avatar version of themselves Regret. Regret. Regret. 54 KB JPG >server rules is a bunch of gay s--- about not being "toxic" and basically not being allowed to say anything negative or have an opinion on anything thus ensuring conversation must be as sterile as possible w-- man this sucks

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Anon plays Siege | /r/Greentext

“lal was a mistake." lal - Anime & Manga View Announcement : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:54:29 No.551254673 maestro.jpg 167 KB JPG >over 700 hours in Rainbow Six: Siege >all I do is teamkill and shout n----- down the mic >idiot repeats what I said in the text chat >get a booster for reporting him
“lal was a mistake." lal - Anime & Manga View Announcement : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:54:29 No.551254673 maestro.jpg 167 KB JPG >over 700 hours in Rainbow Six: Siege >all I do is teamkill and shout n----- down the mic >idiot repeats what I said in the text chat >get a booster for reporting him

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Anon is a convict | /r/Greentext

>ffw black >first and middle names are Conrad Victor >got nicknamed 'Convict' in school 71 KB PNG
>ffw black >first and middle names are Conrad Victor >got nicknamed 'Convict' in school 71 KB PNG

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Anon works at McDonald's | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)00:44:41 No.15916257 >yeah lemme get uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh 40 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)00:45:10 No.15916261 >>15916257 (OP) # im more of a >yeah can i get kind of guy >>15916488 # >>15916526 # >>15917060 # >>15917772 #
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)00:44:41 No.15916257 >yeah lemme get uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh 40 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)00:45:10 No.15916261 >>15916257 (OP) # im more of a >yeah can i get kind of guy >>15916488 # >>15916526 # >>15917060 # >>15917772 #

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China world problems | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/18(Wed)13:06:33 No.776592144 >chinese surveillance system checking peolpe on the streets >scans guy >1.300.000.000 possible matches 13 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/08/18(Wed)13:06:33 No.776592144 >chinese surveillance system checking peolpe on the streets >scans guy >1.300.000.000 possible matches 13 KB JPG

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