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Anon discovers Tinder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)21:24:25 No.63134762 This happened a long time ago > create fake profile on Tinder of a 9/10 Chad with a distinct jawline > only one picture, no bio > instantly get matches > chicks send me gifs or start 74 KB JPG convos > respond to some of them > be provocative and let them do the talking > ask them to guess things about me like what | do for a living or what hobbies I have > if they guess wrong I scold them and they begin to apologize > to some of them I tell that I have no hobbies and they begin to support me telling me that it is allright and not everyone has to have them It was so easy... Decide to create a real profile > 0 matches > takes days to get some of them > decide to act like Chad not giving a f--- > either get ignored or unmatched
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)21:24:25 No.63134762 This happened a long time ago > create fake profile on Tinder of a 9/10 Chad with a distinct jawline > only one picture, no bio > instantly get matches > chicks send me gifs or start 74 KB JPG convos > respond to some of them > be provocative and let them do the talking > ask them to guess things about me like what | do for a living or what hobbies I have > if they guess wrong I scold them and they begin to apologize > to some of them I tell that I have no hobbies and they begin to support me telling me that it is allright and not everyone has to have them It was so easy... Decide to create a real profile > 0 matches > takes days to get some of them > decide to act like Chad not giving a f--- > either get ignored or unmatched

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Anon is confronted by an SJW | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)11:16:38 No.851683068 >be me, 33 >got new job in office, full of cubicles >be a baritone singer in my spare time, sing in a lot of religious events ever since i was 18 >catholic church near office building, large church with large bell tower >work on my stuff til 12 oclock, and the bell tower starts 459 KB JPG playing the AveMaria >out of pure reflez y started singing along, firts very low but by half the song i was doing a voice that could be heard 2 cubicles away >stopped when i felt the awkward looks >got back to work, pretend nothing happened >noticed a blue haired girl frowning at me >HR calls me, they warn me against doing anything religious that might make my coworkers feel i'm forcing my religion onto them >the blue haired girl now watches my back, seems like she wants me fired >should i put up with her or should i just quit and wait for the religious services to start again so i can make a living by singing again?
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)11:16:38 No.851683068 >be me, 33 >got new job in office, full of cubicles >be a baritone singer in my spare time, sing in a lot of religious events ever since i was 18 >catholic church near office building, large church with large bell tower >work on my stuff til 12 oclock, and the bell tower starts 459 KB JPG playing the AveMaria >out of pure reflez y started singing along, firts very low but by half the song i was doing a voice that could be heard 2 cubicles away >stopped when i felt the awkward looks >got back to work, pretend nothing happened >noticed a blue haired girl frowning at me >HR calls me, they warn me against doing anything religious that might make my coworkers feel i'm forcing my religion onto them >the blue haired girl now watches my back, seems like she wants me fired >should i put up with her or should i just quit and wait for the religious services to start again so i can make a living by singing again?

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Anon has surgery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)20:29:19 No.851720761 ITT post comfy feels The comfiest I've ever felt was this: >Be me >Last year >Getting a surgery >Put on those 3m grip socks and the hospital gown 915 KB PNG >Gown has these plastic vent ports >Get walked into the surgery room when it's time >Lay down on the surgery table >The nurses put one arm out to the side for an IV and I get strapped down >They put these hoses onto the gown and it starts blowing warm air >Get wrapped in a hospital blanket, super cozy >Anesthetic gets put into my IV drip >Fall asleep to the feeling of warmth and the soft voice of the nurse It was nice and then I woke up and got taken home by my girlfriend. Feels good man. I know it's weird but it felt strangely comfortable to me.
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)20:29:19 No.851720761 ITT post comfy feels The comfiest I've ever felt was this: >Be me >Last year >Getting a surgery >Put on those 3m grip socks and the hospital gown 915 KB PNG >Gown has these plastic vent ports >Get walked into the surgery room when it's time >Lay down on the surgery table >The nurses put one arm out to the side for an IV and I get strapped down >They put these hoses onto the gown and it starts blowing warm air >Get wrapped in a hospital blanket, super cozy >Anesthetic gets put into my IV drip >Fall asleep to the feeling of warmth and the soft voice of the nurse It was nice and then I woke up and got taken home by my girlfriend. Feels good man. I know it's weird but it felt strangely comfortable to me.

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Anon finally feels appreciated | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)05:05:02 No.63140749 Hey guys I haven't done this in a long time but just wanted to share with similar individuals who may appreciate this >Be me, shy, basically socially 55 KB JPG retarded >Can almost count on one hand how many times I've went out and done things in public places on a weekend >Went out to trivia night at a local bar with friends for 3rd time >almost always just end up sitting there and being useless as usual >This time I actually know the answer to 3 very high point questions that nobody else knew >Our team gets the most points it ever has >Teammates actually happy I was there >Mfw I was genuinely useful to people I care about It sure felt good, especially since I'm dealing with some stupid family drama right now.
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)05:05:02 No.63140749 Hey guys I haven't done this in a long time but just wanted to share with similar individuals who may appreciate this >Be me, shy, basically socially 55 KB JPG retarded >Can almost count on one hand how many times I've went out and done things in public places on a weekend >Went out to trivia night at a local bar with friends for 3rd time >almost always just end up sitting there and being useless as usual >This time I actually know the answer to 3 very high point questions that nobody else knew >Our team gets the most points it ever has >Teammates actually happy I was there >Mfw I was genuinely useful to people I care about It sure felt good, especially since I'm dealing with some stupid family drama right now.

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Makes sense | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 04/03/20(Fri)11:49:06 No.57473827 >I'm just like you, Anon! And yeah I've been in two relationships before turning 20, have experienced teenage love and sex, have a steady circle of friends consisting of 10+ people, drink alcohol, get invited to parties, travel to other countries on a 112 KB JPG monthly basis, go to concerts, men constantly hitting on me, etc, but hey! I'm an unadjusted social outcast weirdo such as YOURSELF! tee hee :D :) XD
| Anonymous 04/03/20(Fri)11:49:06 No.57473827 >I'm just like you, Anon! And yeah I've been in two relationships before turning 20, have experienced teenage love and sex, have a steady circle of friends consisting of 10+ people, drink alcohol, get invited to parties, travel to other countries on a 112 KB JPG monthly basis, go to concerts, men constantly hitting on me, etc, but hey! I'm an unadjusted social outcast weirdo such as YOURSELF! tee hee :D :) XD

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Frisbee night | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/21 (Wed)10:09:21 No.28149598 >>28094304 (OP) # >be me, about 21 years old >chilling in the lounge on a Saturday arvo with two bros, waiting for more mates and our girls to show up for drinks 18 KB JPG >get phone call >it's from my own number, which is pretty weird >answer the call and it's all staticky and muffled but I can hear a bunch of people talking and some metal playing - hed pe's bartender >goes on for a few seconds before there's louder scuffling and scratching >voice says "ah f---, butt dialled someone lol" then call ends >a few hours later, everyone is chilling, chatting and whatnot. Gonna go have a smoke on the balcony, grab my ciggies and my phone and see I called someone. Say "ah f---, butt dialled someone, lol" >mfw it clicks.
: Anonymous 04/07/21 (Wed)10:09:21 No.28149598 >>28094304 (OP) # >be me, about 21 years old >chilling in the lounge on a Saturday arvo with two bros, waiting for more mates and our girls to show up for drinks 18 KB JPG >get phone call >it's from my own number, which is pretty weird >answer the call and it's all staticky and muffled but I can hear a bunch of people talking and some metal playing - hed pe's bartender >goes on for a few seconds before there's louder scuffling and scratching >voice says "ah f---, butt dialled someone lol" then call ends >a few hours later, everyone is chilling, chatting and whatnot. Gonna go have a smoke on the balcony, grab my ciggies and my phone and see I called someone. Say "ah f---, butt dialled someone, lol" >mfw it clicks.

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I don't know what to title this | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 hours ago 69470695 >email account got tagged for spam >just for sending my resumes to companies that were hiring I want to die
Anonymous 8 hours ago 69470695 >email account got tagged for spam >just for sending my resumes to companies that were hiring I want to die

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Ano is turning gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)17:50:08 No.63129831 >Tfw deepthoat bananas before eating them everytime for fun Im turning gay, arent I? 21 KB JPG 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)17:50:08 No.63129831 >Tfw deepthoat bananas before eating them everytime for fun Im turning gay, arent I? 21 KB JPG 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is a boomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)00:41:34 No.63137665 >be "boomer" >open a discord server related to my hobby >a million different channels and constant blooping noises >everybody has their ugly face showing or some queer cartoon avatar version of themselves Regret. Regret. Regret. 54 KB JPG >server rules is a bunch of gay s--- about not being "toxic" and basically not being allowed to say anything negative or have an opinion on anything thus ensuring conversation must be as sterile as possible w-- man this sucks
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)00:41:34 No.63137665 >be "boomer" >open a discord server related to my hobby >a million different channels and constant blooping noises >everybody has their ugly face showing or some queer cartoon avatar version of themselves Regret. Regret. Regret. 54 KB JPG >server rules is a bunch of gay s--- about not being "toxic" and basically not being allowed to say anything negative or have an opinion on anything thus ensuring conversation must be as sterile as possible w-- man this sucks

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Anon plays Siege | /r/Greentext

“lal was a mistake." lal - Anime & Manga View Announcement : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:54:29 No.551254673 maestro.jpg 167 KB JPG >over 700 hours in Rainbow Six: Siege >all I do is teamkill and shout n----- down the mic >idiot repeats what I said in the text chat >get a booster for reporting him
“lal was a mistake." lal - Anime & Manga View Announcement : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:54:29 No.551254673 maestro.jpg 167 KB JPG >over 700 hours in Rainbow Six: Siege >all I do is teamkill and shout n----- down the mic >idiot repeats what I said in the text chat >get a booster for reporting him

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Anon is a convict | /r/Greentext

>ffw black >first and middle names are Conrad Victor >got nicknamed 'Convict' in school 71 KB PNG
>ffw black >first and middle names are Conrad Victor >got nicknamed 'Convict' in school 71 KB PNG

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Anon works at McDonald's | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)00:44:41 No.15916257 >yeah lemme get uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh 40 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)00:45:10 No.15916261 >>15916257 (OP) # im more of a >yeah can i get kind of guy >>15916488 # >>15916526 # >>15917060 # >>15917772 #
: Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)00:44:41 No.15916257 >yeah lemme get uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh 40 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)00:45:10 No.15916261 >>15916257 (OP) # im more of a >yeah can i get kind of guy >>15916488 # >>15916526 # >>15917060 # >>15917772 #

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China world problems | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/18(Wed)13:06:33 No.776592144 >chinese surveillance system checking peolpe on the streets >scans guy >1.300.000.000 possible matches 13 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/08/18(Wed)13:06:33 No.776592144 >chinese surveillance system checking peolpe on the streets >scans guy >1.300.000.000 possible matches 13 KB JPG

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Anon is an average 4chan user | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)23:00:54 No.851698998 >19 >kissless virgin >bad looking, out of shape, small d--- >only interest İs shitposting >barely do anything outside of posting memes online >racist and transphobic 38 KB JPG >no hobbies at all how to cope?
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)23:00:54 No.851698998 >19 >kissless virgin >bad looking, out of shape, small d--- >only interest İs shitposting >barely do anything outside of posting memes online >racist and transphobic 38 KB JPG >no hobbies at all how to cope?

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Anon moves to England | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)11:39:53 No.851687670 I'm a newfag to living in sketchy neighborhoods? How do I avoid getting stabbed? I've had instances of people starting to follow me for no reason >go for a walk in broad daylight >some guy starts yelling at me 166 KB JPG >"You're walking real fast, scared I'm gonna kill you?" >start walking faster, he starts following me >eventually he goes away And just yesterday >walking around at night >two teenagers run up and start following me from behind >they tell me to stop looking back at them >yell that I'm a molester >they eventually f--- off What do? : Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)11:41:04 No.851687728 >>851687670 (OP) # stop walking around
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)11:39:53 No.851687670 I'm a newfag to living in sketchy neighborhoods? How do I avoid getting stabbed? I've had instances of people starting to follow me for no reason >go for a walk in broad daylight >some guy starts yelling at me 166 KB JPG >"You're walking real fast, scared I'm gonna kill you?" >start walking faster, he starts following me >eventually he goes away And just yesterday >walking around at night >two teenagers run up and start following me from behind >they tell me to stop looking back at them >yell that I'm a molester >they eventually f--- off What do? : Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)11:41:04 No.851687728 >>851687670 (OP) # stop walking around

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Anon tried to be funny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)19:34:48 No.63132661 >Be me, 13 years old. >Be going through a "I'M SO RANDOM LOL XD" phase. >Have a 18-19 year old brother. >His friend is at our house and we are in the kitchen. 1.24 MB PNG >Notice fridge decoration (pic related). >Have bright idea. >Try to be funny and grab its head and pull it to its crotch area and say "guyse I'm going to suck my own d--- XDD SLURP SLURP SLURP!!!" >They stare at me in awkward silence. >His friend asks my brother "Where did he learn this?" >My brother says "I don't know." He looks really disappointed. >l just stay in silence looking at them. >They walk away. >Never try to be funny ever again. This happened 8 years ago and I still think about it sometimes. Share some cringe moments you had so I can stop thinking about it.
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)19:34:48 No.63132661 >Be me, 13 years old. >Be going through a "I'M SO RANDOM LOL XD" phase. >Have a 18-19 year old brother. >His friend is at our house and we are in the kitchen. 1.24 MB PNG >Notice fridge decoration (pic related). >Have bright idea. >Try to be funny and grab its head and pull it to its crotch area and say "guyse I'm going to suck my own d--- XDD SLURP SLURP SLURP!!!" >They stare at me in awkward silence. >His friend asks my brother "Where did he learn this?" >My brother says "I don't know." He looks really disappointed. >l just stay in silence looking at them. >They walk away. >Never try to be funny ever again. This happened 8 years ago and I still think about it sometimes. Share some cringe moments you had so I can stop thinking about it.

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Anon is a serial shitter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)12:50:27 No.850975316 >Be me >Sophomore year in college >Periodically s--- in the top tank of toilets at fraternity and sorority houses during parties >Word spreading around campus about a "serial s------" 77 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)12:55:14 No.850975586 So it's been you at UVA m-----------?
: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)12:50:27 No.850975316 >Be me >Sophomore year in college >Periodically s--- in the top tank of toilets at fraternity and sorority houses during parties >Word spreading around campus about a "serial s------" 77 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)12:55:14 No.850975586 So it's been you at UVA m-----------?

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I bet he was looking forward to that | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)11:12:02 No.851665473 >>851665687 >>851665997 >>851666243 >>851666422 >be prince phillip >die at age 99 >missed out on 100th birthday >don't even get a card from the queen Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)11:16:32 No.851665E File: 1928398391833.png (657 KB, 660x586) >>851665473 (OP) Include me in the screencap!
Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)11:12:02 No.851665473 >>851665687 >>851665997 >>851666243 >>851666422 >be prince phillip >die at age 99 >missed out on 100th birthday >don't even get a card from the queen Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)11:16:32 No.851665E File: 1928398391833.png (657 KB, 660x586) >>851665473 (OP) Include me in the screencap!

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Old legend | /r/Greentext

/b/ Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)02:19:59 No.851715744 Greentext time >be me >be 12 years old >watch Nightmare on Elm Street >freddy is kinda cool 1.71 MB JPG >want to be like him >ask grandma to knit me a Freddy sweater >she fulfills my wish >knits for a week >finally finishes sweater and it's awesome. Red/Green just like the original >wear it in school the next day >everybody laughs >ashamed.jpg >tell Grandma I don't want sweater anymore >grandma disappointed >now she wears it. Also in public >tells me people are always smiling at her when she's wearing it
/b/ Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)02:19:59 No.851715744 Greentext time >be me >be 12 years old >watch Nightmare on Elm Street >freddy is kinda cool 1.71 MB JPG >want to be like him >ask grandma to knit me a Freddy sweater >she fulfills my wish >knits for a week >finally finishes sweater and it's awesome. Red/Green just like the original >wear it in school the next day >everybody laughs >ashamed.jpg >tell Grandma I don't want sweater anymore >grandma disappointed >now she wears it. Also in public >tells me people are always smiling at her when she's wearing it

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Anon has no homies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/19(Sun)17:22:06 No.797410576 >*tips beanie* >m'homie 57 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/14/19(Sun)17:22:06 No.797410576 >*tips beanie* >m'homie 57 KB JPG

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