Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)06:14:03 No.63174849 >be me >virgin but really want to lose it >parents are out for the weekend so they leave me home alone >know no girls that would want to f--- me and too young and stupid 53 KB JPG to know how to hire a h----- >idea.jpg >remember there's a meth head lady that sweeps our porch for 5 bucks >she usually comes on sundays so wait for her >offer her 20 bucks my parents left me for pizza to take my virginity and since she's really cheap she accepts >go into the living room and have sex in the couch >lostmyvirginitytoamilf.mp4 >finally I'm not a virgin anymore and she didn't even judge me >be happy as heck >be an hour ago >dad called me and told me he checked the cameras to see what I did today >turns out they installed a nanny cam in the living room cause they don't trust me >yells at me and tell me I'm in deep trouble once they get back home >hear mom crying in the background for some reason Bros i dont want it to be tomorrow i really wanna die rn h-------- nothing ever goes right in my Ifie
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)06:14:03 No.63174849 >be me >virgin but really want to lose it >parents are out for the weekend so they leave me home alone >know no girls that would want to f--- me and too young and stupid 53 KB JPG to know how to hire a h----- >idea.jpg >remember there's a meth head lady that sweeps our porch for 5 bucks >she usually comes on sundays so wait for her >offer her 20 bucks my parents left me for pizza to take my virginity and since she's really cheap she accepts >go into the living room and have sex in the couch >lostmyvirginitytoamilf.mp4 >finally I'm not a virgin anymore and she didn't even judge me >be happy as heck >be an hour ago >dad called me and told me he checked the cameras to see what I did today >turns out they installed a nanny cam in the living room cause they don't trust me >yells at me and tell me I'm in deep trouble once they get back home >hear mom crying in the background for some reason Bros i dont want it to be tomorrow i really wanna die rn h-------- nothing ever goes right in my Ifie

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font material property

Anon is a beta | /r/Greentext

File: 1597697729375.jpg (7 KB, 250x237) O Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)23:24:01 No.4197222 » >Go to mcdonalds >"Yeah can I get a cheeseburger" >Wagie just flat out says "No." >Shocked at his answer >Don't know what to say so I leave Am l a beta
File: 1597697729375.jpg (7 KB, 250x237) O Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)23:24:01 No.4197222 » >Go to mcdonalds >"Yeah can I get a cheeseburger" >Wagie just flat out says "No." >Shocked at his answer >Don't know what to say so I leave Am l a beta

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext vertebrate cartoon mammal

Anon is bored | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)09:25:54 No.63176471 >open steam library >scroll down >scroll up >scroll down again >sigh, close steam 134 КВ PNG every f------ time
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)09:25:54 No.63176471 >open steam library >scroll down >scroll up >scroll down again >sigh, close steam 134 КВ PNG every f------ time

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon goes to a wedding | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)21:07:50 No.851882265 >Attend wedding of best friend >Getting ready to leave >Tap on shoulder ??? ??? >Turn >First fiancee standing there >Haven't seen her in 20 years after she broke things off 89 KB JPG >She's married with kids >Tearfully apologizing to me for being toxic I'm full of weird emotions and not sure what to make of it.
: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)21:07:50 No.851882265 >Attend wedding of best friend >Getting ready to leave >Tap on shoulder ??? ??? >Turn >First fiancee standing there >Haven't seen her in 20 years after she broke things off 89 KB JPG >She's married with kids >Tearfully apologizing to me for being toxic I'm full of weird emotions and not sure what to make of it.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext jaw smile font terrestrial plant

Anon wants to socialize | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)00:06:16 No.63170013 >think about going to meetup group to talk to some normies Meetup >imagine how the conversation will go >"so what are your hobbies anon?" >"I really enjoy playing league of legends and cooming to feet p--- 55 KB PNG 12 hours a day and once in a while l'll do something productive" >decide against it
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)00:06:16 No.63170013 >think about going to meetup group to talk to some normies Meetup >imagine how the conversation will go >"so what are your hobbies anon?" >"I really enjoy playing league of legends and cooming to feet p--- 55 KB PNG 12 hours a day and once in a while l'll do something productive" >decide against it

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext rectangle font

Dear god deliver us from this nightmare | /r/Greentext

>read a thread on a ritual that supposedly allows you to lucid dream >attempt it >it actually works >l can lucid dream 56 KB JPG >all I have to do is say something and it happens >if I say "I can fly" I can fly >if I were to say "I used to be President" I immediately flashback to my time in office >other characters appear in my dream >they start having flashbacks of their own >l can't control them >l have to stick to the script until their flashbacks are over >Peter Griffin is a character in my dreams >I have no power over him >every time he has a flashback I'm force to play along >every night I'm trapped in an episode of Family Guy >become terrified of sleeping >eventually my body caves and I fall asleep >every night l'm subjected to a hellscape of culture references and poop jokes pop
>read a thread on a ritual that supposedly allows you to lucid dream >attempt it >it actually works >l can lucid dream 56 KB JPG >all I have to do is say something and it happens >if I say "I can fly" I can fly >if I were to say "I used to be President" I immediately flashback to my time in office >other characters appear in my dream >they start having flashbacks of their own >l can't control them >l have to stick to the script until their flashbacks are over >Peter Griffin is a character in my dreams >I have no power over him >every time he has a flashback I'm force to play along >every night I'm trapped in an episode of Family Guy >become terrified of sleeping >eventually my body caves and I fall asleep >every night l'm subjected to a hellscape of culture references and poop jokes pop

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon has advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)11:37:05 No.63161086 How to date as a man >be tall >be attractive >be physically fit and active >be funny >be interesting 72 KB JPG >have interesting skills and hobbies >have a good and interesting job >make a lot of money >carry every conversation >be the entertainer >be the provider >be the organizer >play the numbers game >initiate every interaction >hope a girl takes a pity on you >do not miss any of the steps How to date as a woman >have hole How can anyone seriously expect sane men to take part in a ridiculous market like this? I don't mind putting in the effort but it'd at least be nice to get something other than a spoiled basic bitch with burnt out dopamine receptors out of it.
: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)11:37:05 No.63161086 How to date as a man >be tall >be attractive >be physically fit and active >be funny >be interesting 72 KB JPG >have interesting skills and hobbies >have a good and interesting job >make a lot of money >carry every conversation >be the entertainer >be the provider >be the organizer >play the numbers game >initiate every interaction >hope a girl takes a pity on you >do not miss any of the steps How to date as a woman >have hole How can anyone seriously expect sane men to take part in a ridiculous market like this? I don't mind putting in the effort but it'd at least be nice to get something other than a spoiled basic bitch with burnt out dopamine receptors out of it.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Anon uses female filters | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)20:27:58 No.62679577 >use female filter on my own selfie >almost nothing changes F--- 31 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)20:27:58 No.62679577 >use female filter on my own selfie >almost nothing changes F--- 31 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext jaw font

Ghost sighting | /r/Greentext

File: 68F2ACAA-7542-4A36-87CF-F(...).jpg (28 KB, 364x317) O Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)10:58:13 No.63164047 [Reply] >see person I knew in high school >not sure in if they remember me >don't want deal with potential embarrassment >try to avoid eye contact as we pass >'oh hey anon'
File: 68F2ACAA-7542-4A36-87CF-F(...).jpg (28 KB, 364x317) O Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)10:58:13 No.63164047 [Reply] >see person I knew in high school >not sure in if they remember me >don't want deal with potential embarrassment >try to avoid eye contact as we pass >'oh hey anon'

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext cartoon font happy

anon is short | /r/Greentext

: maidanon !Q5DVS88Z03E 04/11/21(Sun)21:40:33 No.63167032 >tfw go to grocery store >need something on the top shelf >its out of reach >*look around and see no one* >have to do a jump to grab it 344 KB JPG Luckily no one saw LOL
: maidanon !Q5DVS88Z03E 04/11/21(Sun)21:40:33 No.63167032 >tfw go to grocery store >need something on the top shelf >its out of reach >*look around and see no one* >have to do a jump to grab it 344 KB JPG Luckily no one saw LOL

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext gesture font happy plant

Anon had a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)18:35:56 No.851825355 >be me >at a houseparty of a friend >crush is there as well >try to get rid of my oneitis, so mostly ignore her >just have fun with friends >few hours later 159 KB PNG >she talks to me >doesn't seem to recognize me >is pretty drunk >l'm tipsy as well >have fun with her >she asks if I can tuck her in >its not even her home >goes to my friends parents room >lies on the bed >go grab a bottle of water for her >when I get back she is undressed >invites me into her bed >contemplate whether I should or shouldn't >she's drunk as f--- >say f--- it and make out with her >have sex >barely last a minute >she falls asleep >get out of there >text her next day how she felt >was surprised I was there >told me she doesn't remember seeing me >"yeah haha lol you were pretty drunk"
: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)18:35:56 No.851825355 >be me >at a houseparty of a friend >crush is there as well >try to get rid of my oneitis, so mostly ignore her >just have fun with friends >few hours later 159 KB PNG >she talks to me >doesn't seem to recognize me >is pretty drunk >l'm tipsy as well >have fun with her >she asks if I can tuck her in >its not even her home >goes to my friends parents room >lies on the bed >go grab a bottle of water for her >when I get back she is undressed >invites me into her bed >contemplate whether I should or shouldn't >she's drunk as f--- >say f--- it and make out with her >have sex >barely last a minute >she falls asleep >get out of there >text her next day how she felt >was surprised I was there >told me she doesn't remember seeing me >"yeah haha lol you were pretty drunk"

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is Uncle Ben | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/25/16(Tue)20:11:08 No.75697195 hqdefault_0.jpg 11 KB JPG >oh, you're sad because a girl at your high-school doesn't like you back? Peter, when I was your age, I left school to bullseye g---- from a helicopter in the middle of some god forsaken jungle. Don't tell me you have it hard because you're a pathetic kissless virgin. You can act sad when you have to leave behind the lady-boy you fell in love with and made passionate steamy love to in a collapsing bamboo shack, just like I did. You think I felt good about firebombing his chink village and watching our f----hut burn to the ground? We were going to build our lives together there, Peter! You know what? F--- you. Get the f--- out of my car. >>75697234 # >>75697332 # >>75698895 # >>75702735 #
: Anonymous 10/25/16(Tue)20:11:08 No.75697195 hqdefault_0.jpg 11 KB JPG >oh, you're sad because a girl at your high-school doesn't like you back? Peter, when I was your age, I left school to bullseye g---- from a helicopter in the middle of some god forsaken jungle. Don't tell me you have it hard because you're a pathetic kissless virgin. You can act sad when you have to leave behind the lady-boy you fell in love with and made passionate steamy love to in a collapsing bamboo shack, just like I did. You think I felt good about firebombing his chink village and watching our f----hut burn to the ground? We were going to build our lives together there, Peter! You know what? F--- you. Get the f--- out of my car. >>75697234 # >>75697332 # >>75698895 # >>75702735 #

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext forehead jaw

Anon loves CPU’s | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)01:46:47 No.851864056 >be me >decide to do an experiment >if i c-- while looking at any image, i will gain it as a fetish 172 KB JPG >decide to gain a fetish for apple m1 processor >c-- to both front and back pics of the m1 >now have fetish for the m1 processor, and especially the back of it >decide to go further >only c-- tom1 >can no longer get hard for other p--- >fetish adapts to other cpus >am now only attracted to cpus >worth it View Thread
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)01:46:47 No.851864056 >be me >decide to do an experiment >if i c-- while looking at any image, i will gain it as a fetish 172 KB JPG >decide to gain a fetish for apple m1 processor >c-- to both front and back pics of the m1 >now have fetish for the m1 processor, and especially the back of it >decide to go further >only c-- tom1 >can no longer get hard for other p--- >fetish adapts to other cpus >am now only attracted to cpus >worth it View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

If only you knew. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/02/12(Fri)17:39 No.1921453 >if only you knew, ya know, the thing
Anonymous 03/02/12(Fri)17:39 No.1921453 >if only you knew, ya know, the thing

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext smile chin bookcase facial expression shelf organ product tie balloon news shelving

Anon was lied to | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)09:41:11 No.63159049 > 10 years later > Chad owns a house and a car > has a family and decent job Meanwhile I am single rent cuck with no drivers licence 87 KB JPG 'Bullies will work for you' was a lie
: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)09:41:11 No.63159049 > 10 years later > Chad owns a house and a car > has a family and decent job Meanwhile I am single rent cuck with no drivers licence 87 KB JPG 'Bullies will work for you' was a lie

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font line

Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/19(Wed)02:41:55 No.803189740 >be me >paranoid of school shooters >watched documentary about Elliot Rodger and wonder if that could happen at my school >everybody is suspect >have terrifying nightmares about 22 KB PNG being gunned down at school >always first to die because l'm the slowest one in my class >seek therapy >therapist tells me to deal with it >take my therapists advice >one day when dad isn't home, I go into his closet and take his BERSA Model 383 >hide it in my backpack on my way to school next day >go behind the art building where all the school shooters hang out >shoot two of them while the other seven run away >manage to reload and shoot another before they managed to shoot anymore innocent people >police show up and I tell them the direction the other school shooters ran >mfw they arrest me instead of thanking me for doing their job for them
: Anonymous 06/26/19(Wed)02:41:55 No.803189740 >be me >paranoid of school shooters >watched documentary about Elliot Rodger and wonder if that could happen at my school >everybody is suspect >have terrifying nightmares about 22 KB PNG being gunned down at school >always first to die because l'm the slowest one in my class >seek therapy >therapist tells me to deal with it >take my therapists advice >one day when dad isn't home, I go into his closet and take his BERSA Model 383 >hide it in my backpack on my way to school next day >go behind the art building where all the school shooters hang out >shoot two of them while the other seven run away >manage to reload and shoot another before they managed to shoot anymore innocent people >police show up and I tell them the direction the other school shooters ran >mfw they arrest me instead of thanking me for doing their job for them

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

anon feels guilty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)21:25:25 No.63166807 oops I can't contain the guilt anymore. >be me >like 2 years ago >texting and driving whilst going down a narrow road. >should have pulled over the right but wasn't paying attention so I hit another 1.13 MB PNG car nearly head on. >airbags go off but as we were both going quite slow so l'm fine. >Other dude's car broke like five of his fingers and caused minor nerve damage. >damage wouldn't be such a big deal for most professions, like it was probably minor enough that he could type basically normally. >M----------- was a concert pianist and had to retire. His hands were insured for a ridiculous amount of money but still I feel like such an a------ for taking away his ability to do his passion at a professional level.
: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)21:25:25 No.63166807 oops I can't contain the guilt anymore. >be me >like 2 years ago >texting and driving whilst going down a narrow road. >should have pulled over the right but wasn't paying attention so I hit another 1.13 MB PNG car nearly head on. >airbags go off but as we were both going quite slow so l'm fine. >Other dude's car broke like five of his fingers and caused minor nerve damage. >damage wouldn't be such a big deal for most professions, like it was probably minor enough that he could type basically normally. >M----------- was a concert pianist and had to retire. His hands were insured for a ridiculous amount of money but still I feel like such an a------ for taking away his ability to do his passion at a professional level.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext wheel automotive parking light vehicle car font

Anon visits le reddit | /r/Greentext

>find subreddit called antiwork >it's exactly as retarded as it sounds >bunch of people saying we should abolish work out of our society A1l right. I'm gonna say a vord. >typing on phones that people made for their job >on a website that people work to maintain the servers for >in a house built by construction workers Holy f---, I knew they were stupid over there but how the f--- does a website harbor people who are so bad at critical thinking that a toddler could point out the flaws with their ideology?
>find subreddit called antiwork >it's exactly as retarded as it sounds >bunch of people saying we should abolish work out of our society A1l right. I'm gonna say a vord. >typing on phones that people made for their job >on a website that people work to maintain the servers for >in a house built by construction workers Holy f---, I knew they were stupid over there but how the f--- does a website harbor people who are so bad at critical thinking that a toddler could point out the flaws with their ideology?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext jaw sleeve

Anon discovers the meaning of life | /r/Greentext

>see the state of society >was suicidal before but now especially because of what the future will become >hear nothing but retards always babbling about white supremacy this and patriarchy that 302 KB JPG >really feel like offing myself >realize that by being a walking ball of hatred I oppose those people >my continued existence makes them upset >realize how many like minded people there are not just here but all over the world >our continued existence makes them upset And that is one hell of a reason to live bros
>see the state of society >was suicidal before but now especially because of what the future will become >hear nothing but retards always babbling about white supremacy this and patriarchy that 302 KB JPG >really feel like offing myself >realize that by being a walking ball of hatred I oppose those people >my continued existence makes them upset >realize how many like minded people there are not just here but all over the world >our continued existence makes them upset And that is one hell of a reason to live bros

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon hates pitbulls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)10:11:07 No.851838082 >Open my door to walk my dog at 8AM >Neighbor's giant pitbull suddenly rushes into my house >She can't control it on leash or pull it back out of my house, of course >Lunges at me, then goes for the 49 KB JPG neck of my 2 month old shiba inu puppy >Yank my dog back by her leash so she doesn't die >Comes about 3 inches from snapping her neck and killing her instantly >Shut the door on the hellhound until it shrieks then backs out of the house >Neighbor shouts "Sorry!" Tell me, /bl, why are pitbulls and their owners the scum of the Earth?
: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)10:11:07 No.851838082 >Open my door to walk my dog at 8AM >Neighbor's giant pitbull suddenly rushes into my house >She can't control it on leash or pull it back out of my house, of course >Lunges at me, then goes for the 49 KB JPG neck of my 2 month old shiba inu puppy >Yank my dog back by her leash so she doesn't die >Comes about 3 inches from snapping her neck and killing her instantly >Shut the door on the hellhound until it shrieks then backs out of the house >Neighbor shouts "Sorry!" Tell me, /bl, why are pitbulls and their owners the scum of the Earth?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font working animal terrestrial plant