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Anon feels better than you | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)09:34:19 No.551659084 >Take hot shower. >Put on some nice, freshly washed comfy clothes. >Have a nice meal prepared for the evening that you just need to heat up quickly. >Make a good drink. Maybe water with 42 KB JPG some fruits in it or a nice cocoa. >Build biggest pillowfort you can manage on your bed. >Get out old handheld. Maybe a GBC and Pokemon Silver or a PSP and MonHun FU. >Turn on some background noise on on a laptop. >Chill and play games all day and forget about the world for a while. Does anybody else here occasionally engage in comfmaxing?
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)09:34:19 No.551659084 >Take hot shower. >Put on some nice, freshly washed comfy clothes. >Have a nice meal prepared for the evening that you just need to heat up quickly. >Make a good drink. Maybe water with 42 KB JPG some fruits in it or a nice cocoa. >Build biggest pillowfort you can manage on your bed. >Get out old handheld. Maybe a GBC and Pokemon Silver or a PSP and MonHun FU. >Turn on some background noise on on a laptop. >Chill and play games all day and forget about the world for a while. Does anybody else here occasionally engage in comfmaxing?

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Anon is greek | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:20:04 No.63190097 >be greek living in america >parents want me to marry a greek girl >have never met another greek, let alone a greek woman in my time on this planet >start a new job >meet one of the most attractive 6 KB JPG women I have ever seen in my entire life >find out shes 100% pure greek, born in greece, came here when she was a child etc. >shes dating a 6'5 a---- chad As if I needed another reason to hate my life. 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)02:16:44 No.63191214 I'd recommend that you 10 KB JPG
Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:20:04 No.63190097 >be greek living in america >parents want me to marry a greek girl >have never met another greek, let alone a greek woman in my time on this planet >start a new job >meet one of the most attractive 6 KB JPG women I have ever seen in my entire life >find out shes 100% pure greek, born in greece, came here when she was a child etc. >shes dating a 6'5 a---- chad As if I needed another reason to hate my life. 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)02:16:44 No.63191214 I'd recommend that you 10 KB JPG

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Anon is saved | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:34 No.14058910 >walking home from a party late one evening >several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >catch me in some random student neighbourhood >oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >still in talking phase >lights flick on in a house >three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >"Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!" >ail three of them draw rapiers on their belts >guys run >"I know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >stagger home completely drunk with a hat I had no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house.
Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:34 No.14058910 >walking home from a party late one evening >several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >catch me in some random student neighbourhood >oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >still in talking phase >lights flick on in a house >three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >"Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!" >ail three of them draw rapiers on their belts >guys run >"I know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >stagger home completely drunk with a hat I had no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house.

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Femanon attends a funera | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/27/20(Tue)22:53:52 No.838743319 >femanon >7/10 attractive, bisexual, but extremely autistic so it ruins my chances with anyone >at a relative's funeral >we weren't very close, so l'm mainly there just to comfort my family 14 KB JPG >notice funeral director >just my type >try to make eyes at him the entire service >as I walk out, he touches my shoulder >go to graveside service >staring continues >he actually walks over to me >ohshit.gif >"I'm sorry for your loss, I hope you're doing okay" I literally thought this guy was gonna flirt with me at a funeral right next to a dead body being put in the ground while my entire family was crying their eyes out. Am I retarded or just desperate?
: Anonymous 10/27/20(Tue)22:53:52 No.838743319 >femanon >7/10 attractive, bisexual, but extremely autistic so it ruins my chances with anyone >at a relative's funeral >we weren't very close, so l'm mainly there just to comfort my family 14 KB JPG >notice funeral director >just my type >try to make eyes at him the entire service >as I walk out, he touches my shoulder >go to graveside service >staring continues >he actually walks over to me >ohshit.gif >"I'm sorry for your loss, I hope you're doing okay" I literally thought this guy was gonna flirt with me at a funeral right next to a dead body being put in the ground while my entire family was crying their eyes out. Am I retarded or just desperate?

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Anon needs help | /r/Greentext

>be me >f------ around with friends at 1 in the morning >setting our ring tones to really dumb s--- like us yelling "f--- black people" or whatever >high as f--- and don't remember any of it 110 KB JPG when i wake up the next morning >go into class >really tired, forgot to silence my phone like I usually do >a class discussion is happening, too zoned out to pay attention >apparently it was about something serious because when i snapped back to reality, some bitch was standing up and crying and it was super quiet >trying to remember what was being discussed >all of a sudden, my phone rings >"GET FINGERED BY TYRONE DUMB BITCH" >everyone looks in my direction >speedwalk out of the classroom >help i think they're looking for me, i can't stay in the school bathroom for much longer View Thread
>be me >f------ around with friends at 1 in the morning >setting our ring tones to really dumb s--- like us yelling "f--- black people" or whatever >high as f--- and don't remember any of it 110 KB JPG when i wake up the next morning >go into class >really tired, forgot to silence my phone like I usually do >a class discussion is happening, too zoned out to pay attention >apparently it was about something serious because when i snapped back to reality, some bitch was standing up and crying and it was super quiet >trying to remember what was being discussed >all of a sudden, my phone rings >"GET FINGERED BY TYRONE DUMB BITCH" >everyone looks in my direction >speedwalk out of the classroom >help i think they're looking for me, i can't stay in the school bathroom for much longer View Thread

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Anon is chad? Impossible. | /r/Greentext

>wake up >See mom >Call her "milk bags" >S--- pants >Leave 58m (4/13 12:10) · 851964463 f------ chad 58m (4/13 12:10) · 851964473 Kys •.. •..
>wake up >See mom >Call her "milk bags" >S--- pants >Leave 58m (4/13 12:10) · 851964463 f------ chad 58m (4/13 12:10) · 851964473 Kys •.. •..

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Anon ascends | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)01:39:15 No.63190861 >Be me >4/10 beta loser >Also into thicc/fat chicks >One day a 10/10 blonde hottie starts hitting on me >She very clearly wants me to ask her out >She's way t0o skinny and flat for me 33 KB JPG though >l tell her she's not really my type in front of her friends >They all look at me like l'm insane >She's visibly hurt I think I just accidentally made myself look like an alpha
Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)01:39:15 No.63190861 >Be me >4/10 beta loser >Also into thicc/fat chicks >One day a 10/10 blonde hottie starts hitting on me >She very clearly wants me to ask her out >She's way t0o skinny and flat for me 33 KB JPG though >l tell her she's not really my type in front of her friends >They all look at me like l'm insane >She's visibly hurt I think I just accidentally made myself look like an alpha

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Anon is a bad friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:08:58 No.851964370 >be me >3 days ago >female friend invites me out to an art museum >fuckye.jpg >ffw 3 days 55 KB JPG >she texts me out of the blue asking me where i am >ohshit.mp3 >dont even try to make up an excuse, tell her i forgot >she says its ok but i feel awful we were already meeting up tmr as well so its not as big a deal but i feel so s----- - it was just miscommunication and bad planning i dont want her to think i dont like her : Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:12:19 No.851964558 >I forgot >it was miscommunication and bad planning No it wasn't. It was you being a f------ moron. If you're going to be a bitch about it at least own your f------ mistake. Apologize to her tomorrow then have a good day.
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:08:58 No.851964370 >be me >3 days ago >female friend invites me out to an art museum >fuckye.jpg >ffw 3 days 55 KB JPG >she texts me out of the blue asking me where i am >ohshit.mp3 >dont even try to make up an excuse, tell her i forgot >she says its ok but i feel awful we were already meeting up tmr as well so its not as big a deal but i feel so s----- - it was just miscommunication and bad planning i dont want her to think i dont like her : Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:12:19 No.851964558 >I forgot >it was miscommunication and bad planning No it wasn't. It was you being a f------ moron. If you're going to be a bitch about it at least own your f------ mistake. Apologize to her tomorrow then have a good day.

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Anon is a lucky bastard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)03:11:10 No.63188016 >never ever flossed my teeth >not even once >go to the dentist >"i see youve been flossing, your gums are in perfect health, keep it up" 4 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)03:11:10 No.63188016 >never ever flossed my teeth >not even once >go to the dentist >"i see youve been flossing, your gums are in perfect health, keep it up" 4 KB PNG

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Anon doesn’t like France | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)21:46:41 No.851955469 > be me > don't hate myself > laugh at those who do > haha eat s--- France 85 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)21:46:41 No.851955469 > be me > don't hate myself > laugh at those who do > haha eat s--- France 85 KB JPG

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Anon finds evolution funny. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/19(Mon)19:19:22 No.11176183 yall think when humans were starting to walk all 2's there was this period where like they would like bully the n----- walkin 4 limbs like "look at this f------ retard walking on all fours Imaooooooo" and they'd stone 30 KB GIF him to death or something
: Anonymous 11/25/19(Mon)19:19:22 No.11176183 yall think when humans were starting to walk all 2's there was this period where like they would like bully the n----- walkin 4 limbs like "look at this f------ retard walking on all fours Imaooooooo" and they'd stone 30 KB GIF him to death or something

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Anon gets a job | /r/Greentext

ile: pepe.png (62 KB, 400x300) Anonymous 12/13/19(Fri)23:36:54 No.816169862 [Reply] >be me >jobless footfag >actually unhealthy how much feet turn me on >go to the mall with my mom cause she needs new shoes >she thinks im a good son because I go with her and help her carry stuff >actually go to look at feet >always go to this expensive women shoe shop >only rich white milfs and their cute daughters go there >spot sign that says they are looking for someone to help customers pick shoes >dreamjob.jpg >shoot my shot >get the job >literally touch and look at feet all day long >get paid for it >sometimes Id hold a foot for a while as if Im thinking which shoe would fit them better. Bring some random shoe after >they always love it >even caress their soles and compliment their feet, as if I was a foot expert >feet sommelier >dont even wash my hands after groping their soles like they were japanese s----------- in some JAV >always masturbate in the bathroom during my breaks >one day, after helping a milf with perfect feet, she asks to see my manager >f--- I got caught >fight or flight activates >she tells my manager she wanted to congratulate me on how dedicated I was to my job and how I would even put on their shoes for them, so they didnt have to bend down >crisisavoided >manager says shes happy she hired me >go masturbate in the bathroom as always >get a raise next month my life couldn't get better guys, Im living in a dream right now.
ile: pepe.png (62 KB, 400x300) Anonymous 12/13/19(Fri)23:36:54 No.816169862 [Reply] >be me >jobless footfag >actually unhealthy how much feet turn me on >go to the mall with my mom cause she needs new shoes >she thinks im a good son because I go with her and help her carry stuff >actually go to look at feet >always go to this expensive women shoe shop >only rich white milfs and their cute daughters go there >spot sign that says they are looking for someone to help customers pick shoes >dreamjob.jpg >shoot my shot >get the job >literally touch and look at feet all day long >get paid for it >sometimes Id hold a foot for a while as if Im thinking which shoe would fit them better. Bring some random shoe after >they always love it >even caress their soles and compliment their feet, as if I was a foot expert >feet sommelier >dont even wash my hands after groping their soles like they were japanese s----------- in some JAV >always masturbate in the bathroom during my breaks >one day, after helping a milf with perfect feet, she asks to see my manager >f--- I got caught >fight or flight activates >she tells my manager she wanted to congratulate me on how dedicated I was to my job and how I would even put on their shoes for them, so they didnt have to bend down >crisisavoided >manager says shes happy she hired me >go masturbate in the bathroom as always >get a raise next month my life couldn't get better guys, Im living in a dream right now.

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Anon forgets he’s on 4 chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21 (Mon)16:56:22 No.851948354 CAPE MAY POLICE COU officer.jpg 327 KB JPG >tfw you can't tell the difference between a taser and a handgun
: Anonymous 04/12/21 (Mon)16:56:22 No.851948354 CAPE MAY POLICE COU officer.jpg 327 KB JPG >tfw you can't tell the difference between a taser and a handgun

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Modern problems | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)11:16:34 No.63180426 >tfw the modern world has too many laws, too many polices and too many cameras >tfw i genuinely want to go on a killing spree >tfw if i actually get to do it i will be caught way too soon 334 KB JPG >tfw i would be put on prison my whole life or get a death sentence I absolutely hate the world and want everyone to die
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)11:16:34 No.63180426 >tfw the modern world has too many laws, too many polices and too many cameras >tfw i genuinely want to go on a killing spree >tfw if i actually get to do it i will be caught way too soon 334 KB JPG >tfw i would be put on prison my whole life or get a death sentence I absolutely hate the world and want everyone to die

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Sweet smell of success | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous randomly just found gold 04/12/21(Mon)03:23:09 No.63176456 >be me >be late at night >see oneitis studying alone in a public space >smile and wave >think nothing of it >think to study myself in the public 644 KB PNG space, late at night, 2 AM >open door >her smell mixed with her perfume smell still lingers in he air >drop all my things thanking god she chose such an enclosed space >brain starts moving faster >snap the cushion right off the wooden chair >head into the bathroom >close a stall behind me >bring seat cushion up to my face >smells like her >cocaine like high on pheromones >d--- rips itself out of my pants >j------- with my face pressed into the cushion >shoot j--- like a machine gun while my buttocks and thighs are wildly wracked with spasms, eyes glaze over and I almost fall over That was the wildest orgasm l've ever had, no p--- will ever bring me to that state. I feel like my consciousness has been elevated. I feel like I could run through a f------ wall right now, if we're both around next year I'm gonna ask her out
: Anonymous randomly just found gold 04/12/21(Mon)03:23:09 No.63176456 >be me >be late at night >see oneitis studying alone in a public space >smile and wave >think nothing of it >think to study myself in the public 644 KB PNG space, late at night, 2 AM >open door >her smell mixed with her perfume smell still lingers in he air >drop all my things thanking god she chose such an enclosed space >brain starts moving faster >snap the cushion right off the wooden chair >head into the bathroom >close a stall behind me >bring seat cushion up to my face >smells like her >cocaine like high on pheromones >d--- rips itself out of my pants >j------- with my face pressed into the cushion >shoot j--- like a machine gun while my buttocks and thighs are wildly wracked with spasms, eyes glaze over and I almost fall over That was the wildest orgasm l've ever had, no p--- will ever bring me to that state. I feel like my consciousness has been elevated. I feel like I could run through a f------ wall right now, if we're both around next year I'm gonna ask her out

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Anon doesn't trust air fryers | /r/Greentext

File: 4F63C2AE-3480-4AC7-A9A2-E(..).jpg (97 KB, 1221x1500) O Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)19:31:15 No.15928341 >>15928349 >>15928353 >>15928374 >>15928384 >>15928388 >>15928751 >>15930132 >blows all the nutrients off your food >makes you malnourished tell me again why these are popular ?
File: 4F63C2AE-3480-4AC7-A9A2-E(..).jpg (97 KB, 1221x1500) O Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)19:31:15 No.15928341 >>15928349 >>15928353 >>15928374 >>15928384 >>15928388 >>15928751 >>15930132 >blows all the nutrients off your food >makes you malnourished tell me again why these are popular ?

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Anon celebrates his 11th birthday | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)01:55:47 No.63187058 >be 11 y o me >11th birthday party! Yay! >All my class is invited >I think nobody is going to come >Everyone comes! >Happy.jpg >After the party, everyone in my class seems to like me and be nice to me 3 KB JPG >8 years fwd >Old friend from my class tells me we need to talk about something that happened 8 years earlier >turns out that nobody wanted to come so my parents paid them to come to my party so I feel happy and feel like I have friends >They also continued paying some of them to become my friends >Last time he got money for being my friend was a year ago
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)01:55:47 No.63187058 >be 11 y o me >11th birthday party! Yay! >All my class is invited >I think nobody is going to come >Everyone comes! >Happy.jpg >After the party, everyone in my class seems to like me and be nice to me 3 KB JPG >8 years fwd >Old friend from my class tells me we need to talk about something that happened 8 years earlier >turns out that nobody wanted to come so my parents paid them to come to my party so I feel happy and feel like I have friends >They also continued paying some of them to become my friends >Last time he got money for being my friend was a year ago

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Anon can’t leave | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/10/15(Tue)01:12:15 No.602947818 >be husband and former father >wife doesn't want to have sex anymore since our daughter died >thinking about leaving her 46 KB JPG but I can't do it right now >ambulance blocking car in the driveway
Anonymous 03/10/15(Tue)01:12:15 No.602947818 >be husband and former father >wife doesn't want to have sex anymore since our daughter died >thinking about leaving her 46 KB JPG but I can't do it right now >ambulance blocking car in the driveway

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Anon loves his cat | /r/Greentext

>be me >have cat >small goblin who follows me around house >very loud and cuddly >love her very much 55 KB JPG >notice one day she's eating less >slowly over the week she's moving around less and not drinking often >house is quieter and she's sleeping a lot >she's old now and i think it's her time I'm not ready /b/ I'm just not ready
>be me >have cat >small goblin who follows me around house >very loud and cuddly >love her very much 55 KB JPG >notice one day she's eating less >slowly over the week she's moving around less and not drinking often >house is quieter and she's sleeping a lot >she's old now and i think it's her time I'm not ready /b/ I'm just not ready

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anon gets wasted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)03:10:23 No.63176356 >be me >meet this girl at a rich friend from another town's party >actual 10/10 qt also attends >think nothing of her, too busy getting drunk off my f------ mind >4 months later, she adds me on social media 914 KB GIF >completely forgot who she was >starts coming on me hard >immediate "this must be a joke, right?" thoughts >she keeps sending cutesy memes and a couple romantic cat pics >half a year passes of leading her on >she gets increasingly more attached to me >gif related is the only way i could describe how she was acting >decide to tell her i "like-like" her, she immediately does the same >rich friend organizes an airbnb at some tiny mansion in the mountains >it's our chance to get together again >she lost all interest in me on the first day >the other people keep forcing the relationship >2 days pass of absolute torture trying to get something going and constant wingmaning from the others >final day at the mansion >f--- it, time for a last ditch effort >step 1, get absolutely s-------- and ask her for sex >if she agrees, good for me, maybe that's what she was waiting for >if she denies, proceed to step 2 >step 2, continue to get drunk and keep myself conscious enough to send her a text message with "i'm sorry for being such a jerk, feel free to break up" at 2am >we break up >friends keep telling me it's not my fault and that she had family troubles and some other issues >come to find out she formed a lesbian couple with another girl who came at the party
Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)03:10:23 No.63176356 >be me >meet this girl at a rich friend from another town's party >actual 10/10 qt also attends >think nothing of her, too busy getting drunk off my f------ mind >4 months later, she adds me on social media 914 KB GIF >completely forgot who she was >starts coming on me hard >immediate "this must be a joke, right?" thoughts >she keeps sending cutesy memes and a couple romantic cat pics >half a year passes of leading her on >she gets increasingly more attached to me >gif related is the only way i could describe how she was acting >decide to tell her i "like-like" her, she immediately does the same >rich friend organizes an airbnb at some tiny mansion in the mountains >it's our chance to get together again >she lost all interest in me on the first day >the other people keep forcing the relationship >2 days pass of absolute torture trying to get something going and constant wingmaning from the others >final day at the mansion >f--- it, time for a last ditch effort >step 1, get absolutely s-------- and ask her for sex >if she agrees, good for me, maybe that's what she was waiting for >if she denies, proceed to step 2 >step 2, continue to get drunk and keep myself conscious enough to send her a text message with "i'm sorry for being such a jerk, feel free to break up" at 2am >we break up >friends keep telling me it's not my fault and that she had family troubles and some other issues >come to find out she formed a lesbian couple with another girl who came at the party

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