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Anon ascends | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)01:39:15 No.63190861 >Be me >4/10 beta loser >Also into thicc/fat chicks >One day a 10/10 blonde hottie starts hitting on me >She very clearly wants me to ask her out >She's way t0o skinny and flat for me 33 KB JPG though >l tell her she's not really my type in front of her friends >They all look at me like l'm insane >She's visibly hurt I think I just accidentally made myself look like an alpha
Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)01:39:15 No.63190861 >Be me >4/10 beta loser >Also into thicc/fat chicks >One day a 10/10 blonde hottie starts hitting on me >She very clearly wants me to ask her out >She's way t0o skinny and flat for me 33 KB JPG though >l tell her she's not really my type in front of her friends >They all look at me like l'm insane >She's visibly hurt I think I just accidentally made myself look like an alpha

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Anon is a bad friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:08:58 No.851964370 >be me >3 days ago >female friend invites me out to an art museum >fuckye.jpg >ffw 3 days 55 KB JPG >she texts me out of the blue asking me where i am >ohshit.mp3 >dont even try to make up an excuse, tell her i forgot >she says its ok but i feel awful we were already meeting up tmr as well so its not as big a deal but i feel so s----- - it was just miscommunication and bad planning i dont want her to think i dont like her : Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:12:19 No.851964558 >I forgot >it was miscommunication and bad planning No it wasn't. It was you being a f------ moron. If you're going to be a bitch about it at least own your f------ mistake. Apologize to her tomorrow then have a good day.
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:08:58 No.851964370 >be me >3 days ago >female friend invites me out to an art museum >fuckye.jpg >ffw 3 days 55 KB JPG >she texts me out of the blue asking me where i am >ohshit.mp3 >dont even try to make up an excuse, tell her i forgot >she says its ok but i feel awful we were already meeting up tmr as well so its not as big a deal but i feel so s----- - it was just miscommunication and bad planning i dont want her to think i dont like her : Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:12:19 No.851964558 >I forgot >it was miscommunication and bad planning No it wasn't. It was you being a f------ moron. If you're going to be a bitch about it at least own your f------ mistake. Apologize to her tomorrow then have a good day.

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Anon is a lucky bastard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)03:11:10 No.63188016 >never ever flossed my teeth >not even once >go to the dentist >"i see youve been flossing, your gums are in perfect health, keep it up" 4 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)03:11:10 No.63188016 >never ever flossed my teeth >not even once >go to the dentist >"i see youve been flossing, your gums are in perfect health, keep it up" 4 KB PNG

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Anon doesn’t like France | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)21:46:41 No.851955469 > be me > don't hate myself > laugh at those who do > haha eat s--- France 85 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)21:46:41 No.851955469 > be me > don't hate myself > laugh at those who do > haha eat s--- France 85 KB JPG

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Anon finds evolution funny. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/19(Mon)19:19:22 No.11176183 yall think when humans were starting to walk all 2's there was this period where like they would like bully the n----- walkin 4 limbs like "look at this f------ retard walking on all fours Imaooooooo" and they'd stone 30 KB GIF him to death or something
: Anonymous 11/25/19(Mon)19:19:22 No.11176183 yall think when humans were starting to walk all 2's there was this period where like they would like bully the n----- walkin 4 limbs like "look at this f------ retard walking on all fours Imaooooooo" and they'd stone 30 KB GIF him to death or something

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Anon gets a job | /r/Greentext

ile: pepe.png (62 KB, 400x300) Anonymous 12/13/19(Fri)23:36:54 No.816169862 [Reply] >be me >jobless footfag >actually unhealthy how much feet turn me on >go to the mall with my mom cause she needs new shoes >she thinks im a good son because I go with her and help her carry stuff >actually go to look at feet >always go to this expensive women shoe shop >only rich white milfs and their cute daughters go there >spot sign that says they are looking for someone to help customers pick shoes >dreamjob.jpg >shoot my shot >get the job >literally touch and look at feet all day long >get paid for it >sometimes Id hold a foot for a while as if Im thinking which shoe would fit them better. Bring some random shoe after >they always love it >even caress their soles and compliment their feet, as if I was a foot expert >feet sommelier >dont even wash my hands after groping their soles like they were japanese s----------- in some JAV >always masturbate in the bathroom during my breaks >one day, after helping a milf with perfect feet, she asks to see my manager >f--- I got caught >fight or flight activates >she tells my manager she wanted to congratulate me on how dedicated I was to my job and how I would even put on their shoes for them, so they didnt have to bend down >crisisavoided >manager says shes happy she hired me >go masturbate in the bathroom as always >get a raise next month my life couldn't get better guys, Im living in a dream right now.
ile: pepe.png (62 KB, 400x300) Anonymous 12/13/19(Fri)23:36:54 No.816169862 [Reply] >be me >jobless footfag >actually unhealthy how much feet turn me on >go to the mall with my mom cause she needs new shoes >she thinks im a good son because I go with her and help her carry stuff >actually go to look at feet >always go to this expensive women shoe shop >only rich white milfs and their cute daughters go there >spot sign that says they are looking for someone to help customers pick shoes >dreamjob.jpg >shoot my shot >get the job >literally touch and look at feet all day long >get paid for it >sometimes Id hold a foot for a while as if Im thinking which shoe would fit them better. Bring some random shoe after >they always love it >even caress their soles and compliment their feet, as if I was a foot expert >feet sommelier >dont even wash my hands after groping their soles like they were japanese s----------- in some JAV >always masturbate in the bathroom during my breaks >one day, after helping a milf with perfect feet, she asks to see my manager >f--- I got caught >fight or flight activates >she tells my manager she wanted to congratulate me on how dedicated I was to my job and how I would even put on their shoes for them, so they didnt have to bend down >crisisavoided >manager says shes happy she hired me >go masturbate in the bathroom as always >get a raise next month my life couldn't get better guys, Im living in a dream right now.

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Anon forgets he’s on 4 chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21 (Mon)16:56:22 No.851948354 CAPE MAY POLICE COU officer.jpg 327 KB JPG >tfw you can't tell the difference between a taser and a handgun
: Anonymous 04/12/21 (Mon)16:56:22 No.851948354 CAPE MAY POLICE COU officer.jpg 327 KB JPG >tfw you can't tell the difference between a taser and a handgun

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Modern problems | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)11:16:34 No.63180426 >tfw the modern world has too many laws, too many polices and too many cameras >tfw i genuinely want to go on a killing spree >tfw if i actually get to do it i will be caught way too soon 334 KB JPG >tfw i would be put on prison my whole life or get a death sentence I absolutely hate the world and want everyone to die
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)11:16:34 No.63180426 >tfw the modern world has too many laws, too many polices and too many cameras >tfw i genuinely want to go on a killing spree >tfw if i actually get to do it i will be caught way too soon 334 KB JPG >tfw i would be put on prison my whole life or get a death sentence I absolutely hate the world and want everyone to die

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Sweet smell of success | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous randomly just found gold 04/12/21(Mon)03:23:09 No.63176456 >be me >be late at night >see oneitis studying alone in a public space >smile and wave >think nothing of it >think to study myself in the public 644 KB PNG space, late at night, 2 AM >open door >her smell mixed with her perfume smell still lingers in he air >drop all my things thanking god she chose such an enclosed space >brain starts moving faster >snap the cushion right off the wooden chair >head into the bathroom >close a stall behind me >bring seat cushion up to my face >smells like her >cocaine like high on pheromones >d--- rips itself out of my pants >j------- with my face pressed into the cushion >shoot j--- like a machine gun while my buttocks and thighs are wildly wracked with spasms, eyes glaze over and I almost fall over That was the wildest orgasm l've ever had, no p--- will ever bring me to that state. I feel like my consciousness has been elevated. I feel like I could run through a f------ wall right now, if we're both around next year I'm gonna ask her out
: Anonymous randomly just found gold 04/12/21(Mon)03:23:09 No.63176456 >be me >be late at night >see oneitis studying alone in a public space >smile and wave >think nothing of it >think to study myself in the public 644 KB PNG space, late at night, 2 AM >open door >her smell mixed with her perfume smell still lingers in he air >drop all my things thanking god she chose such an enclosed space >brain starts moving faster >snap the cushion right off the wooden chair >head into the bathroom >close a stall behind me >bring seat cushion up to my face >smells like her >cocaine like high on pheromones >d--- rips itself out of my pants >j------- with my face pressed into the cushion >shoot j--- like a machine gun while my buttocks and thighs are wildly wracked with spasms, eyes glaze over and I almost fall over That was the wildest orgasm l've ever had, no p--- will ever bring me to that state. I feel like my consciousness has been elevated. I feel like I could run through a f------ wall right now, if we're both around next year I'm gonna ask her out

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Anon doesn't trust air fryers | /r/Greentext

File: 4F63C2AE-3480-4AC7-A9A2-E(..).jpg (97 KB, 1221x1500) O Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)19:31:15 No.15928341 >>15928349 >>15928353 >>15928374 >>15928384 >>15928388 >>15928751 >>15930132 >blows all the nutrients off your food >makes you malnourished tell me again why these are popular ?
File: 4F63C2AE-3480-4AC7-A9A2-E(..).jpg (97 KB, 1221x1500) O Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)19:31:15 No.15928341 >>15928349 >>15928353 >>15928374 >>15928384 >>15928388 >>15928751 >>15930132 >blows all the nutrients off your food >makes you malnourished tell me again why these are popular ?

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Anon celebrates his 11th birthday | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)01:55:47 No.63187058 >be 11 y o me >11th birthday party! Yay! >All my class is invited >I think nobody is going to come >Everyone comes! >Happy.jpg >After the party, everyone in my class seems to like me and be nice to me 3 KB JPG >8 years fwd >Old friend from my class tells me we need to talk about something that happened 8 years earlier >turns out that nobody wanted to come so my parents paid them to come to my party so I feel happy and feel like I have friends >They also continued paying some of them to become my friends >Last time he got money for being my friend was a year ago
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)01:55:47 No.63187058 >be 11 y o me >11th birthday party! Yay! >All my class is invited >I think nobody is going to come >Everyone comes! >Happy.jpg >After the party, everyone in my class seems to like me and be nice to me 3 KB JPG >8 years fwd >Old friend from my class tells me we need to talk about something that happened 8 years earlier >turns out that nobody wanted to come so my parents paid them to come to my party so I feel happy and feel like I have friends >They also continued paying some of them to become my friends >Last time he got money for being my friend was a year ago

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Anon can’t leave | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/10/15(Tue)01:12:15 No.602947818 >be husband and former father >wife doesn't want to have sex anymore since our daughter died >thinking about leaving her 46 KB JPG but I can't do it right now >ambulance blocking car in the driveway
Anonymous 03/10/15(Tue)01:12:15 No.602947818 >be husband and former father >wife doesn't want to have sex anymore since our daughter died >thinking about leaving her 46 KB JPG but I can't do it right now >ambulance blocking car in the driveway

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Anon loves his cat | /r/Greentext

>be me >have cat >small goblin who follows me around house >very loud and cuddly >love her very much 55 KB JPG >notice one day she's eating less >slowly over the week she's moving around less and not drinking often >house is quieter and she's sleeping a lot >she's old now and i think it's her time I'm not ready /b/ I'm just not ready
>be me >have cat >small goblin who follows me around house >very loud and cuddly >love her very much 55 KB JPG >notice one day she's eating less >slowly over the week she's moving around less and not drinking often >house is quieter and she's sleeping a lot >she's old now and i think it's her time I'm not ready /b/ I'm just not ready

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anon gets wasted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)03:10:23 No.63176356 >be me >meet this girl at a rich friend from another town's party >actual 10/10 qt also attends >think nothing of her, too busy getting drunk off my f------ mind >4 months later, she adds me on social media 914 KB GIF >completely forgot who she was >starts coming on me hard >immediate "this must be a joke, right?" thoughts >she keeps sending cutesy memes and a couple romantic cat pics >half a year passes of leading her on >she gets increasingly more attached to me >gif related is the only way i could describe how she was acting >decide to tell her i "like-like" her, she immediately does the same >rich friend organizes an airbnb at some tiny mansion in the mountains >it's our chance to get together again >she lost all interest in me on the first day >the other people keep forcing the relationship >2 days pass of absolute torture trying to get something going and constant wingmaning from the others >final day at the mansion >f--- it, time for a last ditch effort >step 1, get absolutely s-------- and ask her for sex >if she agrees, good for me, maybe that's what she was waiting for >if she denies, proceed to step 2 >step 2, continue to get drunk and keep myself conscious enough to send her a text message with "i'm sorry for being such a jerk, feel free to break up" at 2am >we break up >friends keep telling me it's not my fault and that she had family troubles and some other issues >come to find out she formed a lesbian couple with another girl who came at the party
Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)03:10:23 No.63176356 >be me >meet this girl at a rich friend from another town's party >actual 10/10 qt also attends >think nothing of her, too busy getting drunk off my f------ mind >4 months later, she adds me on social media 914 KB GIF >completely forgot who she was >starts coming on me hard >immediate "this must be a joke, right?" thoughts >she keeps sending cutesy memes and a couple romantic cat pics >half a year passes of leading her on >she gets increasingly more attached to me >gif related is the only way i could describe how she was acting >decide to tell her i "like-like" her, she immediately does the same >rich friend organizes an airbnb at some tiny mansion in the mountains >it's our chance to get together again >she lost all interest in me on the first day >the other people keep forcing the relationship >2 days pass of absolute torture trying to get something going and constant wingmaning from the others >final day at the mansion >f--- it, time for a last ditch effort >step 1, get absolutely s-------- and ask her for sex >if she agrees, good for me, maybe that's what she was waiting for >if she denies, proceed to step 2 >step 2, continue to get drunk and keep myself conscious enough to send her a text message with "i'm sorry for being such a jerk, feel free to break up" at 2am >we break up >friends keep telling me it's not my fault and that she had family troubles and some other issues >come to find out she formed a lesbian couple with another girl who came at the party

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Anon has a stroke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)15:55:41 No.63179099 >sitting >feel imouto staring at me >look over and ask what she wants >she keeps staring >"Mario Kart" >play Mario Kart with her on my TV >we finish and she leaves 187 KB PNG >comes back in >stares at me >"Water" >hands me a bottle of water >leaves
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)15:55:41 No.63179099 >sitting >feel imouto staring at me >look over and ask what she wants >she keeps staring >"Mario Kart" >play Mario Kart with her on my TV >we finish and she leaves 187 KB PNG >comes back in >stares at me >"Water" >hands me a bottle of water >leaves

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anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)23:53:53 No.851927469 > be me, russian > homophobic and transphobic > go to r/worldnews on re**it > "Putin bans same sex marriage and trans people can no longer adopt children" > comment one word showing my 87 KB JPG political views > based.txt > next_day.ogg > open reddit > get a dm > banned from the subreddit for reason "troll" > we do a little trolling > Worth it : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)23:54:50 No.851927540 >>851927469 (OP) # Троллед!
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)23:53:53 No.851927469 > be me, russian > homophobic and transphobic > go to r/worldnews on re**it > "Putin bans same sex marriage and trans people can no longer adopt children" > comment one word showing my 87 KB JPG political views > based.txt > next_day.ogg > open reddit > get a dm > banned from the subreddit for reason "troll" > we do a little trolling > Worth it : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)23:54:50 No.851927540 >>851927469 (OP) # Троллед!

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OP is having a wank | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/25/13(Sat)00:55 No.16442287 Replies: >>16442341 >>16442343 >>16442433 >>16442460 >>16442510 >listening to music >cleaning up my man cave >gf says she is going to the store >decide it's time for a fap >wait a few minutes after she left >strip naked because that's how I do >searching for that perfect fap video >getting close hear the door open and shut >shut my computer down but keep fapping hoping gf will come down and finish me off >decide I am going to surprise her and j--- the second she walks in (seemed better at the time) >hear someone walking down the stairs >decide to stand for this >as the door opens shoot my load all over some dude in a ski mask >I literally fall back stunned and reach for my gun >he is yelling w-- >hold him at gunpoint until the cops come >cop asks what is all over the guys shirt and pants >explain and give my statement >l can still hear them laughing...
Anonymous 05/25/13(Sat)00:55 No.16442287 Replies: >>16442341 >>16442343 >>16442433 >>16442460 >>16442510 >listening to music >cleaning up my man cave >gf says she is going to the store >decide it's time for a fap >wait a few minutes after she left >strip naked because that's how I do >searching for that perfect fap video >getting close hear the door open and shut >shut my computer down but keep fapping hoping gf will come down and finish me off >decide I am going to surprise her and j--- the second she walks in (seemed better at the time) >hear someone walking down the stairs >decide to stand for this >as the door opens shoot my load all over some dude in a ski mask >I literally fall back stunned and reach for my gun >he is yelling w-- >hold him at gunpoint until the cops come >cop asks what is all over the guys shirt and pants >explain and give my statement >l can still hear them laughing...

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Anon tries to sleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)17:04:19 No.63179661 >4am >trying to sleep >the catchy song I heard 10 hours ago plays on repeat inside my head for some reason 156 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)17:04:19 No.63179661 >4am >trying to sleep >the catchy song I heard 10 hours ago plays on repeat inside my head for some reason 156 KB PNG

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Anon drinks tea | /r/Greentext

Mint Jam >be me >discover awesome Japanese jazz fusion band "Casiopea" >love them so much order vinyl record from eBay japan Casiopea >it arrives in immaculate condition 130 KB JPG along with two little origami cranes and a pack of tea >little hand written note in English (guy put huge effort into making it look nice) from the seller hoping for the buying experience to be positive and is sealed with real wax seal >make the tea and put the record on in my finished basement >listening to mint jams with origami crane friends >start to cry because nobody will ever love me as much as that random Japanese man >tea is f------ bomb ass delicious- I thought I just didn't like tea before that >sadness becomes warm feeling of gratitude and joy >doomer to bloomer just like that Is this why y'all love weeb s---? That was one of the nicer evenings in my life.
Mint Jam >be me >discover awesome Japanese jazz fusion band "Casiopea" >love them so much order vinyl record from eBay japan Casiopea >it arrives in immaculate condition 130 KB JPG along with two little origami cranes and a pack of tea >little hand written note in English (guy put huge effort into making it look nice) from the seller hoping for the buying experience to be positive and is sealed with real wax seal >make the tea and put the record on in my finished basement >listening to mint jams with origami crane friends >start to cry because nobody will ever love me as much as that random Japanese man >tea is f------ bomb ass delicious- I thought I just didn't like tea before that >sadness becomes warm feeling of gratitude and joy >doomer to bloomer just like that Is this why y'all love weeb s---? That was one of the nicer evenings in my life.

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Anon was cringe. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Cringiest Alpha Moves 05/12/17(Fri)15:19:49 No.36972961 Pari tot 3i Acepting Yeur Death >be me >be 14 or so >live in college apartments and above a cute girl >think of some way to impress her >lightbulb.png >walk downstairs one night to 475 KB PNG check my mail >quietly drop a $1 bill on the ground >cute girl outside, notices I dropped it >sir, you dropped your dollar bilI! >turn around slowly >"you can keep it" >walk away >mfw remembering this a few years later and realizing how cringe this was
: Anonymous Cringiest Alpha Moves 05/12/17(Fri)15:19:49 No.36972961 Pari tot 3i Acepting Yeur Death >be me >be 14 or so >live in college apartments and above a cute girl >think of some way to impress her >lightbulb.png >walk downstairs one night to 475 KB PNG check my mail >quietly drop a $1 bill on the ground >cute girl outside, notices I dropped it >sir, you dropped your dollar bilI! >turn around slowly >"you can keep it" >walk away >mfw remembering this a few years later and realizing how cringe this was

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