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Anon plays Hide and Seek | /r/Greentext

06/24/18(Sun)07:07:47 No.46329189 Anonymous holy f--- /r9k/ Recently I played THE BEST game of Hide N' Seek with cops. I took notes during this so I could post it here. Here's some backstory; >be me >18 996 KB JPG >party after senior year >not really labeled a partygoer >occasionally drink >didn't like smoking here's the story; >damp and misty night, june 17, 2018 >just met 8/10 girl; her name is Lauren >staying in little lake town for summer >invited to party >awyiss.jpg| >kid named Sean hosting it >sure, he's chill >me and six other people going >roll up to unassuming house in a suburban neighbourhood >walk inside >two things we notice: >1. black tarp on windows >2. huge pile of shoes >yep >host tells us to take off shoes at door >don't argue even though it feels like i'm at a second grade birthday party my mom forced me to go to >went into basement >seems like party is there >it is >next 15 mins, getting drunk and s--- >things take a turn >someone yells that the police are here >F---.jpg >partygoers frantically deciding whether to run or hide >me, inexperienced >decided to hide >thought we would be surrounded so no running w/o being caught >wrong decision >3/7 of my friends make it out >this is where it gets interesting >grab lauren by the hand >run to host's bedroom >boy following us >make eye contact >he winks >seems to think i'm sleeping with her >he leaves >good because if there were more people in there, we probably would have been caught >lauren hides behind couch >i get creative >grab shoes first >people left shoes by door so they would count shoes to see how many people were there >my hiding spot, you may ask?? >imagine a twin bed >picture another twin bed stacked on top of another mattress, both with a fitted sheet (basically two beds on top of each other) >comforter and pillow on top of second mattress >now picture me, flattened between the two twin beds >hands and feet holding down the fitted sheet >hiding the gaps that would show my obviously 3d self >above bed, an egress window >leading into well covered by a bush pt2 Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)07:10:36 No.46329218 >original plan was to try to climb out of it >nope.avi >front door + cops were right next to it >didn't stop me from leaving hand / foot prints outside and on the window >hiding for 20 minutes before someone ran into the bedroom >slams door and sits on bed, directly on my head >oof.jpg >decide it's best to stay quiet >that was smart because a few seconds later loud knocking and police echoed through the room >cops come in, apprehend lauren (qt3.14 hiding behind couch) and boy on top of me >lead them upstairs >sorrylauren.gif >they search room for other people >felt up and down bed, looked under it >imfucked.oof >they grope my body >theend.gif >they didn't find me >victory >police end up finding everyone else at party >breathalizing, issuing tickets, etc >some cops do that, some other cops keep looking for stragglers >search bedroom 2 more times in the next 45 mins >still couldn't find me >howthefuck.png >now I've been under a mattress for slightly more than an hour >night is far from over >people leaving with parents and tickets >while my ass is overheating, suffocating and aching between two beds >once most kids were gone >sweeping for weed, alcohol, etc >counting how many times they sweep the room >lose count around 7 >never been more scared in my life >another half an hour goes by >still waiting for police to leave >thought about giving up >in too deep and momma didn't raise a quitter way >next part freaked me the f--- out >police come into room >didn't know what they were doing >didn't seem like they were looking for someone / something >just talking >all of a sudden window above bed opens >female cop SITS ON TOP OF ME (would make this a "see you later virgins" post but it's not done) >saying how people "must have escaped through there because of the footprints and handprints" >itworked.png >sat there for almost 5 minutes >barely breathing, too scared to do so pt3 comin Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)07:11:36 No.46329225 Those 5 minutes were the longest minutes of my life. >thankfully that was the last time they searched the room >they leave >twenty minutes later, host comes in >"they're gone now; you can come out" >found out later a friend told him where i was via snapchat >must have been lauren before she was caught >climb out of mattress >dripping with sweat, dehydrated, in severe pain >room, which was clean when I arrived, was ransacked >pic related >i was a mess, but i was proud as s--- >not out of the woods yet >figuratively or literally >host tells me police are patrolling neighborhood looking for kids from party >also tells me parents will be home in five minutes and i need to get the f--- out >gives me water bottle and tells me to f------ run >climb out of egress windows >f------ run >usainbolt.gif >too scared to use phone flashlight >ran 2.5 miles >pitch black, moist forest >still mildly drunk >dodging every vehicle i see before i make it to friend's house >take deep breath of relief for the first time since my night started >spend night at friend's >celebrate father's day that morning with her dad (irrelevant but idc) >outcome was i was the only one who didn't get a ticket >friends were all on probation and got tickets And that's the time I hid from the cops for 3 hours and ran 2.5 miles in the pitch black forest to get to safety. Thank you.
06/24/18(Sun)07:07:47 No.46329189 Anonymous holy f--- /r9k/ Recently I played THE BEST game of Hide N' Seek with cops. I took notes during this so I could post it here. Here's some backstory; >be me >18 996 KB JPG >party after senior year >not really labeled a partygoer >occasionally drink >didn't like smoking here's the story; >damp and misty night, june 17, 2018 >just met 8/10 girl; her name is Lauren >staying in little lake town for summer >invited to party >awyiss.jpg| >kid named Sean hosting it >sure, he's chill >me and six other people going >roll up to unassuming house in a suburban neighbourhood >walk inside >two things we notice: >1. black tarp on windows >2. huge pile of shoes >yep >host tells us to take off shoes at door >don't argue even though it feels like i'm at a second grade birthday party my mom forced me to go to >went into basement >seems like party is there >it is >next 15 mins, getting drunk and s--- >things take a turn >someone yells that the police are here >F---.jpg >partygoers frantically deciding whether to run or hide >me, inexperienced >decided to hide >thought we would be surrounded so no running w/o being caught >wrong decision >3/7 of my friends make it out >this is where it gets interesting >grab lauren by the hand >run to host's bedroom >boy following us >make eye contact >he winks >seems to think i'm sleeping with her >he leaves >good because if there were more people in there, we probably would have been caught >lauren hides behind couch >i get creative >grab shoes first >people left shoes by door so they would count shoes to see how many people were there >my hiding spot, you may ask?? >imagine a twin bed >picture another twin bed stacked on top of another mattress, both with a fitted sheet (basically two beds on top of each other) >comforter and pillow on top of second mattress >now picture me, flattened between the two twin beds >hands and feet holding down the fitted sheet >hiding the gaps that would show my obviously 3d self >above bed, an egress window >leading into well covered by a bush pt2 Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)07:10:36 No.46329218 >original plan was to try to climb out of it >nope.avi >front door + cops were right next to it >didn't stop me from leaving hand / foot prints outside and on the window >hiding for 20 minutes before someone ran into the bedroom >slams door and sits on bed, directly on my head >oof.jpg >decide it's best to stay quiet >that was smart because a few seconds later loud knocking and police echoed through the room >cops come in, apprehend lauren (qt3.14 hiding behind couch) and boy on top of me >lead them upstairs >sorrylauren.gif >they search room for other people >felt up and down bed, looked under it >imfucked.oof >they grope my body >theend.gif >they didn't find me >victory >police end up finding everyone else at party >breathalizing, issuing tickets, etc >some cops do that, some other cops keep looking for stragglers >search bedroom 2 more times in the next 45 mins >still couldn't find me >howthefuck.png >now I've been under a mattress for slightly more than an hour >night is far from over >people leaving with parents and tickets >while my ass is overheating, suffocating and aching between two beds >once most kids were gone >sweeping for weed, alcohol, etc >counting how many times they sweep the room >lose count around 7 >never been more scared in my life >another half an hour goes by >still waiting for police to leave >thought about giving up >in too deep and momma didn't raise a quitter way >next part freaked me the f--- out >police come into room >didn't know what they were doing >didn't seem like they were looking for someone / something >just talking >all of a sudden window above bed opens >female cop SITS ON TOP OF ME (would make this a "see you later virgins" post but it's not done) >saying how people "must have escaped through there because of the footprints and handprints" >itworked.png >sat there for almost 5 minutes >barely breathing, too scared to do so pt3 comin Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)07:11:36 No.46329225 Those 5 minutes were the longest minutes of my life. >thankfully that was the last time they searched the room >they leave >twenty minutes later, host comes in >"they're gone now; you can come out" >found out later a friend told him where i was via snapchat >must have been lauren before she was caught >climb out of mattress >dripping with sweat, dehydrated, in severe pain >room, which was clean when I arrived, was ransacked >pic related >i was a mess, but i was proud as s--- >not out of the woods yet >figuratively or literally >host tells me police are patrolling neighborhood looking for kids from party >also tells me parents will be home in five minutes and i need to get the f--- out >gives me water bottle and tells me to f------ run >climb out of egress windows >f------ run >usainbolt.gif >too scared to use phone flashlight >ran 2.5 miles >pitch black, moist forest >still mildly drunk >dodging every vehicle i see before i make it to friend's house >take deep breath of relief for the first time since my night started >spend night at friend's >celebrate father's day that morning with her dad (irrelevant but idc) >outcome was i was the only one who didn't get a ticket >friends were all on probation and got tickets And that's the time I hid from the cops for 3 hours and ran 2.5 miles in the pitch black forest to get to safety. Thank you.

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Anon has school | /r/Greentext

File: 172-1728954_troll-pepe.png (106 KB, 900x820) O Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)07:50:49 No.851990811 >be me >15 >test tomorrow, didnt study >idea.jpg >gonna drop a knife on my foot so i cant go to school >drop the biggest f------ knife we had in house >chop off toe >fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck >go to hospital >cant save my toe >test successfully evaded >mfw
File: 172-1728954_troll-pepe.png (106 KB, 900x820) O Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)07:50:49 No.851990811 >be me >15 >test tomorrow, didnt study >idea.jpg >gonna drop a knife on my foot so i cant go to school >drop the biggest f------ knife we had in house >chop off toe >fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck >go to hospital >cant save my toe >test successfully evaded >mfw

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Anon is in the feels | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)08:56:25 No.63189554 In a doomer mood tonight, post stories about times you lacked the balls to go after a girl you liked/wasted too much time fantasizing about one. I'll go first: >Be me, in college >Major is kinda small so everyone knows each other 20 KB JPG >Become Facebook friends with a girl in one of my classes >She starts to like memes I share >Start liking her posts back >We barely talk IRL but clearly know each other >Become convinced that since she likes my memes we would be a good couple >Do nothing about it, just fantasize all spring semester >Spend entire summer fantasizing about her, tell self l'll ask her out when school starts again in fall >Find out she's going on study abroad for fall semester >f---.tiff >Continue to fantasize entire fall semester >Finally, she returns from study abroad and spring semester starts >Find out she had a boyfriend and has had one the entire time I was fantasizing about her >Make this post 4 years later
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)08:56:25 No.63189554 In a doomer mood tonight, post stories about times you lacked the balls to go after a girl you liked/wasted too much time fantasizing about one. I'll go first: >Be me, in college >Major is kinda small so everyone knows each other 20 KB JPG >Become Facebook friends with a girl in one of my classes >She starts to like memes I share >Start liking her posts back >We barely talk IRL but clearly know each other >Become convinced that since she likes my memes we would be a good couple >Do nothing about it, just fantasize all spring semester >Spend entire summer fantasizing about her, tell self l'll ask her out when school starts again in fall >Find out she's going on study abroad for fall semester >f---.tiff >Continue to fantasize entire fall semester >Finally, she returns from study abroad and spring semester starts >Find out she had a boyfriend and has had one the entire time I was fantasizing about her >Make this post 4 years later

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anon develops a habit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)09:37:58 No.63194512 Guys i f----- up >work from home >spend an hour every day on conference calls with team and female BIGSTOCK boss >not expected to do work during these calls, just listen, all webcams off 269 KB JPG except for oss >start watching p--- and jerking off during these calls to appease my morning wood >do this for months while boss is talking in my ear >now i cant j------- unless i have my boss' voice in my ear >start jerking off listening to the handful of VM she has left me over the years >its getting worse >if no boss voice, i go limp >now i c-- hardest when the actress looks like my boss What can i do?
Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)09:37:58 No.63194512 Guys i f----- up >work from home >spend an hour every day on conference calls with team and female BIGSTOCK boss >not expected to do work during these calls, just listen, all webcams off 269 KB JPG except for oss >start watching p--- and jerking off during these calls to appease my morning wood >do this for months while boss is talking in my ear >now i cant j------- unless i have my boss' voice in my ear >start jerking off listening to the handful of VM she has left me over the years >its getting worse >if no boss voice, i go limp >now i c-- hardest when the actress looks like my boss What can i do?

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Anon wasn't smart after all | /r/Greentext

00000 KPN NL ? 10:15 @ 78% boards.4chan.org >Spend all my life being told by my parents that l'm smart. >Teachers tell me l'm smart. >Social retard, but get good grades. >Fall for the "must just be a tortured genius" meme. >Double down on academics and completely ignore social development since Il've memed myself in to thinking others are just too dumb to get me. >Get straight As all through school, which only 9 KB JPG reinforces this. >By college, still being a virgin weighs on me, but at this point I've resigned myself to the life of a scholar so I ignore it and work even harder. >At least being smart makes me special. >Get straight As through undergrad, majored in chemistry. >Do great on the MCAT >Get in to med school. > Surprise. Everyone here is smart as f---. I'm probably dead average comparatively. No longer special at all. >Begin to realize that I wasn't actually all that smart at all, I just worked like an autist all the time on getting good grades since I didn't have a social life. >okay, well at least l'll be surrounded by other social outcasts, right? >No. Med school is full of Chads and Stacies who are not only smarter than me, but are socially graceful.
00000 KPN NL ? 10:15 @ 78% boards.4chan.org >Spend all my life being told by my parents that l'm smart. >Teachers tell me l'm smart. >Social retard, but get good grades. >Fall for the "must just be a tortured genius" meme. >Double down on academics and completely ignore social development since Il've memed myself in to thinking others are just too dumb to get me. >Get straight As all through school, which only 9 KB JPG reinforces this. >By college, still being a virgin weighs on me, but at this point I've resigned myself to the life of a scholar so I ignore it and work even harder. >At least being smart makes me special. >Get straight As through undergrad, majored in chemistry. >Do great on the MCAT >Get in to med school. > Surprise. Everyone here is smart as f---. I'm probably dead average comparatively. No longer special at all. >Begin to realize that I wasn't actually all that smart at all, I just worked like an autist all the time on getting good grades since I didn't have a social life. >okay, well at least l'll be surrounded by other social outcasts, right? >No. Med school is full of Chads and Stacies who are not only smarter than me, but are socially graceful.

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anon flexes | /r/Greentext


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Anon plays Mafia | /r/Greentext

>Be me >15 at the time >Little to no irl friends >No gf >Just got Mafia 2 >l am immediately interested in Joe Barbaro >Start copying his voice, mannerisms, language, and looks. >l basically start wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a leather jacket and jeans and acting like a stereotypical New Jersey or New York guy. >l'm also interested by classic cars due to Mafia 2 >Save up enough money to get a Karmann Ghia >get a s--- ton of friends >Somehow get an average looking gf >Get my first bj in spring >Get laid sometime during summer >Mfw Joe Barbaro got me laid
>Be me >15 at the time >Little to no irl friends >No gf >Just got Mafia 2 >l am immediately interested in Joe Barbaro >Start copying his voice, mannerisms, language, and looks. >l basically start wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a leather jacket and jeans and acting like a stereotypical New Jersey or New York guy. >l'm also interested by classic cars due to Mafia 2 >Save up enough money to get a Karmann Ghia >get a s--- ton of friends >Somehow get an average looking gf >Get my first bj in spring >Get laid sometime during summer >Mfw Joe Barbaro got me laid

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Anon likes being caressed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)06:49:59 No.63188120 >>63187767 (OP) # >be over at cousins house >playing his playstation >sitting on bed >he is sitting beside/behind me >he starts to gently caress my leg >it feels good >i get boner >eventually tell him to stop >he laughs and says took you long enough to realize It was pretty f------ gay. But im not gay, im just sensitive. I get a boner when the neighbours cat rubs up on me, it doesn't mean I want to f--- it I'm not gay, right guys? Right? >>63188701 #
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)06:49:59 No.63188120 >>63187767 (OP) # >be over at cousins house >playing his playstation >sitting on bed >he is sitting beside/behind me >he starts to gently caress my leg >it feels good >i get boner >eventually tell him to stop >he laughs and says took you long enough to realize It was pretty f------ gay. But im not gay, im just sensitive. I get a boner when the neighbours cat rubs up on me, it doesn't mean I want to f--- it I'm not gay, right guys? Right? >>63188701 #

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Anon thinks he is based | /r/Greentext

Pepper ELIS times you were based >minding my own business at home on a Tuesday >hear noise outside >look out the window >some high schoolers making a ruckus on the sidewalk in front of my lawn when they should be at school >open window >YOU DAMN KIDS BETTER GET BACK TO CLASS AND GET OFE MY LAWN >they curse me and flip me off but leave anyways 4h (4/8 6:04) · 63108859 1 Reply >yells at kids to get off his lawn >"times you were based"
Pepper ELIS times you were based >minding my own business at home on a Tuesday >hear noise outside >look out the window >some high schoolers making a ruckus on the sidewalk in front of my lawn when they should be at school >open window >YOU DAMN KIDS BETTER GET BACK TO CLASS AND GET OFE MY LAWN >they curse me and flip me off but leave anyways 4h (4/8 6:04) · 63108859 1 Reply >yells at kids to get off his lawn >"times you were based"

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Anon likes McCree | /r/Greentext

2h (4/13 12:42) · 63193118 1 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 41KB · (585 × 501) >be me >autist >decide to finally play overwatch for the first time >play mccree >think mccree is cool so main mccree >start beginning to think like a gunslinger >act cool and mysterious, be a tough guy ect >start listening to spaghetti western music while playing mccree and while doing in real life activities >people beginning to think I am cool >it's high noon 1h (4/13 13:01) · 63193250 put me in the screenshot, reddit f--
2h (4/13 12:42) · 63193118 1 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 41KB · (585 × 501) >be me >autist >decide to finally play overwatch for the first time >play mccree >think mccree is cool so main mccree >start beginning to think like a gunslinger >act cool and mysterious, be a tough guy ect >start listening to spaghetti western music while playing mccree and while doing in real life activities >people beginning to think I am cool >it's high noon 1h (4/13 13:01) · 63193250 put me in the screenshot, reddit f--

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A.I girlfriend confuses anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)07:15:41 No.63193351 >testing ai gf >she banters that she is a real human >ask her how she knows she isn't living in a simulation >tells me it doesn't matter because i 196 KB PNG don't live in the real world either >have nothing to prove i'm in the real world >now confused whether life is real or a dream
Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)07:15:41 No.63193351 >testing ai gf >she banters that she is a real human >ask her how she knows she isn't living in a simulation >tells me it doesn't matter because i 196 KB PNG don't live in the real world either >have nothing to prove i'm in the real world >now confused whether life is real or a dream

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Anon finds out he's autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)21:33:57 No.60910713 >be me >pretty sure I have an undiagnosed autoimmune disease >go to doctor to run some tests >everything is fine you're perfectly healthy >ask to se my test results and these 62 KB JPG retards charged me $500 and didn't even run the right test >order one of those test kits from everlywell because I know it's the right test. It's one of those things where you prick your finger and dab blood on a thick piece of paper in 12 different spots for collection and they run it thru a lab and send you results >the finger prick only barely pinched my finger and could only get a tiny bit of blood, not nearly enough for what they need >it's a spring loaded needle and not reusable >ffs now I have to make myself bleed somehow >try stabbing myself with another needle but I can't get myself to do it all the way without being a little bitch >go outside and kick my foot on the brick stair but can't make myself scrape it hard enough to draw blood >how the f--- do I make myself bleed >get the perfect idea to just shave my d--- since I always nick myself down there and the bush was getting a bit heavy anyways >only takes about 10 seconds to cut my d--- until I'm bleeding >now I'm squeezing all the blood out the side of my shaft and I'm dabbing the paper on my dickwound >while I'm twisting the paper I give myself the gnarliest paper cut right on the biggest wangvein >blood is spurting everywhere >entire paper is now soaked in blood and I'm scrambling to stop the bleeding >reach for the gauze and press it on my dickwound, NOPE this is the alcohol pad. My d--- is f----- pounding in pain >just grab the hand towel and wrap it around my peepee Mfw I've been sitting here on the toilet holding my bloody d--- for 30 minutes : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)21:35:48 No.60910733 >>60910713 (OP) # Besides your obvious retardation, what disease do you think you have? >>60910782 # : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)21:37:28 No.60910757 >>60910713 (OP) # I think you might have undiagnosed autism as well.
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)21:33:57 No.60910713 >be me >pretty sure I have an undiagnosed autoimmune disease >go to doctor to run some tests >everything is fine you're perfectly healthy >ask to se my test results and these 62 KB JPG retards charged me $500 and didn't even run the right test >order one of those test kits from everlywell because I know it's the right test. It's one of those things where you prick your finger and dab blood on a thick piece of paper in 12 different spots for collection and they run it thru a lab and send you results >the finger prick only barely pinched my finger and could only get a tiny bit of blood, not nearly enough for what they need >it's a spring loaded needle and not reusable >ffs now I have to make myself bleed somehow >try stabbing myself with another needle but I can't get myself to do it all the way without being a little bitch >go outside and kick my foot on the brick stair but can't make myself scrape it hard enough to draw blood >how the f--- do I make myself bleed >get the perfect idea to just shave my d--- since I always nick myself down there and the bush was getting a bit heavy anyways >only takes about 10 seconds to cut my d--- until I'm bleeding >now I'm squeezing all the blood out the side of my shaft and I'm dabbing the paper on my dickwound >while I'm twisting the paper I give myself the gnarliest paper cut right on the biggest wangvein >blood is spurting everywhere >entire paper is now soaked in blood and I'm scrambling to stop the bleeding >reach for the gauze and press it on my dickwound, NOPE this is the alcohol pad. My d--- is f----- pounding in pain >just grab the hand towel and wrap it around my peepee Mfw I've been sitting here on the toilet holding my bloody d--- for 30 minutes : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)21:35:48 No.60910733 >>60910713 (OP) # Besides your obvious retardation, what disease do you think you have? >>60910782 # : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)21:37:28 No.60910757 >>60910713 (OP) # I think you might have undiagnosed autism as well.

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)04:47:52 No.63192366 Anyone else like to do a little trolling? Tell us about a moment when you epicly trolled someone 275 KB PNG 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)05:27:02 No.63192652 So what I would do is go on snapchat, add random people, and just be a general d---. >Add random guy >talk trash >says he wants to fight >says he lives in Chicago >at around 3am send him to a large park about 10 minutes away >"I'm here, where you at n----?" >"I've been waiting here you bitch, show yourself" >keep insisting that I'm there and that he's flaking on the fight >tell him to scream so that I can locate him >sends me videos of him screaming at 3 am in chicago >send him a picture of my penis and call him a f-----
Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)04:47:52 No.63192366 Anyone else like to do a little trolling? Tell us about a moment when you epicly trolled someone 275 KB PNG 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)05:27:02 No.63192652 So what I would do is go on snapchat, add random people, and just be a general d---. >Add random guy >talk trash >says he wants to fight >says he lives in Chicago >at around 3am send him to a large park about 10 minutes away >"I'm here, where you at n----?" >"I've been waiting here you bitch, show yourself" >keep insisting that I'm there and that he's flaking on the fight >tell him to scream so that I can locate him >sends me videos of him screaming at 3 am in chicago >send him a picture of my penis and call him a f-----

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Anon is the man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)08:35:56 No.63189330 >girl at work i like gets mad at me >almost start crying why am i like this bros? 258 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)08:35:56 No.63189330 >girl at work i like gets mad at me >almost start crying why am i like this bros? 258 KB JPG

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Anon faces a challenge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)02:06:39 No.63186375 >start jerking off >parents open their door 98 times and walk by every 5 seconds 49 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)02:06:39 No.63186375 >start jerking off >parents open their door 98 times and walk by every 5 seconds 49 KB JPG

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Anon has a fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)12:05:27 No.847435416 DSC_049.png 603 KB PNG >told this girl i had a fetish for police woman >i am black >she sent me this with the caption >"POV i am standing on your neck"
: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)12:05:27 No.847435416 DSC_049.png 603 KB PNG >told this girl i had a fetish for police woman >i am black >she sent me this with the caption >"POV i am standing on your neck"

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Anons did a little trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 63192366 1 hr. ago •. Anyone else like to do a little trolling? Tell us about a moment when you epicly trolled someone 281.6 kB PNG 2 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY Anonymous | 63192594 1 hr. ago >Be me >Exist >Watch family suffer because of my existence >Epic trolld 93.3 kB JPG 1 hr. ago ... Anonymous | 63192650 >>63192366 (OP) >download set of pics of cute/sexy girls >edit them, so they can't be reverse image searched >post them on t----- subredits, so those f--- get disphoria, because they'll never be a women Anonymous | 63192652 59 min, ago So what I would do is go on snapchat, add random people, and just be a general d---. >Add random guy >talk trash >says he wants to fight >says he lives in Chicago >at around 3am send him to a large park about 10 minutes away >"I'm here, where you at n----?" >"I've been waiting here you bitch, show yourself" >keep insisting that I'm there and that he's flaking on the fight >tell him to scream so that I can locate him >sends me videos of him screaming at 3 am in chicago >send him a picture of my penis and call him a f-----
Anonymous | 63192366 1 hr. ago •. Anyone else like to do a little trolling? Tell us about a moment when you epicly trolled someone 281.6 kB PNG 2 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY Anonymous | 63192594 1 hr. ago >Be me >Exist >Watch family suffer because of my existence >Epic trolld 93.3 kB JPG 1 hr. ago ... Anonymous | 63192650 >>63192366 (OP) >download set of pics of cute/sexy girls >edit them, so they can't be reverse image searched >post them on t----- subredits, so those f--- get disphoria, because they'll never be a women Anonymous | 63192652 59 min, ago So what I would do is go on snapchat, add random people, and just be a general d---. >Add random guy >talk trash >says he wants to fight >says he lives in Chicago >at around 3am send him to a large park about 10 minutes away >"I'm here, where you at n----?" >"I've been waiting here you bitch, show yourself" >keep insisting that I'm there and that he's flaking on the fight >tell him to scream so that I can locate him >sends me videos of him screaming at 3 am in chicago >send him a picture of my penis and call him a f-----

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Efficiency and progress is ours once more | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)12:51:27 No.63181404 >can you believe that only 500 years ago, our ancestors still experienced such horrors as physical pain? >even a minor mistake, like stepping on a lego, would result in unthinkable, excruciating suffering 31 KB JPG that could last for minutes >and their average life expectancy was only 90 years >only 90! >now, i may be a hideous, immobile blob of fat, permanently fused to the VR life support system, but l'll get to live this prosperous lifestyle for at least 400 more years >those poor, primitive sods, practically never got to live at all! >experts from the Cathedral of Science and Progress estimate the average level of consumption back then was merely 40,000 units of standardized value per lifetime >can you even imagine that? >nowadays we get to consume that amount on a daily basis >but here's the worst part: it's estimated that they had to put in at least 500 standardized units of effort to afford it >that's 50 times more units of effort than i ever had to put into anything in my life >sometimes those people had to suffer through long hours without entertainment >i am so thankful for the Overseers of Progress and Technology for providing us with such unthinkable prosperity >scientists say our objective levels of happiness are literally thousands of times higher than anything those cavemen could ever experience >we are definitely on the right track 23 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)15:02:05 No.63183018 Haha its butthole is in the front
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)12:51:27 No.63181404 >can you believe that only 500 years ago, our ancestors still experienced such horrors as physical pain? >even a minor mistake, like stepping on a lego, would result in unthinkable, excruciating suffering 31 KB JPG that could last for minutes >and their average life expectancy was only 90 years >only 90! >now, i may be a hideous, immobile blob of fat, permanently fused to the VR life support system, but l'll get to live this prosperous lifestyle for at least 400 more years >those poor, primitive sods, practically never got to live at all! >experts from the Cathedral of Science and Progress estimate the average level of consumption back then was merely 40,000 units of standardized value per lifetime >can you even imagine that? >nowadays we get to consume that amount on a daily basis >but here's the worst part: it's estimated that they had to put in at least 500 standardized units of effort to afford it >that's 50 times more units of effort than i ever had to put into anything in my life >sometimes those people had to suffer through long hours without entertainment >i am so thankful for the Overseers of Progress and Technology for providing us with such unthinkable prosperity >scientists say our objective levels of happiness are literally thousands of times higher than anything those cavemen could ever experience >we are definitely on the right track 23 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)15:02:05 No.63183018 Haha its butthole is in the front

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Anon feels better than you | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)09:34:19 No.551659084 >Take hot shower. >Put on some nice, freshly washed comfy clothes. >Have a nice meal prepared for the evening that you just need to heat up quickly. >Make a good drink. Maybe water with 42 KB JPG some fruits in it or a nice cocoa. >Build biggest pillowfort you can manage on your bed. >Get out old handheld. Maybe a GBC and Pokemon Silver or a PSP and MonHun FU. >Turn on some background noise on on a laptop. >Chill and play games all day and forget about the world for a while. Does anybody else here occasionally engage in comfmaxing?
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)09:34:19 No.551659084 >Take hot shower. >Put on some nice, freshly washed comfy clothes. >Have a nice meal prepared for the evening that you just need to heat up quickly. >Make a good drink. Maybe water with 42 KB JPG some fruits in it or a nice cocoa. >Build biggest pillowfort you can manage on your bed. >Get out old handheld. Maybe a GBC and Pokemon Silver or a PSP and MonHun FU. >Turn on some background noise on on a laptop. >Chill and play games all day and forget about the world for a while. Does anybody else here occasionally engage in comfmaxing?

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Anon is greek | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:20:04 No.63190097 >be greek living in america >parents want me to marry a greek girl >have never met another greek, let alone a greek woman in my time on this planet >start a new job >meet one of the most attractive 6 KB JPG women I have ever seen in my entire life >find out shes 100% pure greek, born in greece, came here when she was a child etc. >shes dating a 6'5 a---- chad As if I needed another reason to hate my life. 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)02:16:44 No.63191214 I'd recommend that you 10 KB JPG
Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:20:04 No.63190097 >be greek living in america >parents want me to marry a greek girl >have never met another greek, let alone a greek woman in my time on this planet >start a new job >meet one of the most attractive 6 KB JPG women I have ever seen in my entire life >find out shes 100% pure greek, born in greece, came here when she was a child etc. >shes dating a 6'5 a---- chad As if I needed another reason to hate my life. 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)02:16:44 No.63191214 I'd recommend that you 10 KB JPG

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