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Anon is a donor | /r/Greentext

File: _91408619 55df76d5-2245-4(...).jpg (58 KB, 976x850) Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)23:52:31 No.852011249 [Reply] >>852012648 >Be me >virgin collegefag short on cash >find out about sperm clinics >figure what the hell, decide it couldn't hurt to try >after donating first "sample", get call saying that I have abnormally high fertility rate and there could be high demand for it >surprised that there could ever be any demand for my genes but sure why not >paysgood.jpg >Do this twice a week for a couple of years with a few breaks between. >ffw 15 years >really good financially, but still have no friends or social life
File: _91408619 55df76d5-2245-4(...).jpg (58 KB, 976x850) Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)23:52:31 No.852011249 [Reply] >>852012648 >Be me >virgin collegefag short on cash >find out about sperm clinics >figure what the hell, decide it couldn't hurt to try >after donating first "sample", get call saying that I have abnormally high fertility rate and there could be high demand for it >surprised that there could ever be any demand for my genes but sure why not >paysgood.jpg >Do this twice a week for a couple of years with a few breaks between. >ffw 15 years >really good financially, but still have no friends or social life

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Anon has ass burgers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)03:05:57 No.63063281 File: shower pepe.png (104 KB, 830x1094) >>63056316 (OP) >girls pursued me quite a lot >didn't notice or know what to do due to ass burgers >lose very many chances to get to know pretty girls >finally grow set of balls and get gf at 20 >she has personality disorder >get systematically torn apart by her for 6 years >escape and blame yourself >have trust issues forever >never love again >go to 4chan
Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)03:05:57 No.63063281 File: shower pepe.png (104 KB, 830x1094) >>63056316 (OP) >girls pursued me quite a lot >didn't notice or know what to do due to ass burgers >lose very many chances to get to know pretty girls >finally grow set of balls and get gf at 20 >she has personality disorder >get systematically torn apart by her for 6 years >escape and blame yourself >have trust issues forever >never love again >go to 4chan

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Anon does a motivation. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)05:23:57 No.60528021 >>60524818 (OP) # Fren. Let me tell you a secret, it's a little personal. I find struggle beautiful. Not in a weird, fetishistic, sexual 85 KB PNG way. And not in the sadistic "ngmi" kind of way. The struggle, to grow, to change, to move forward. >the hatchling cracking the shell >the butterfly bursting it's cacoon >the fight for survival >the will to live beating out the odds There is nothing more synonymous with life itself, and life is the most beautiful thing. If you're trying, if you're struggling, you're beautiful; and in my eyes you're making it. >>60528511 # >>60528789 # >>60528835 # >>60529036 # >>60530102 # >>60530223 # >>60530330 # >>60531881 # >>60532813 # >>60533065 # >>60533547 # >>60534110 # >>60534400 # >>60534410 # >>60534471 # >>60534546 # >>60535634 # >>60535909 # >>60535959 # >>60536179 # >>60538561 # >>60539043 # >>60539061 # >>60539456 # >>60539957 # >>60540440 # >>60541491 # >>60541862 # >>60541983 # >>60542037 # >>60542413 # >>60542961 # >>60542985 # >>60543146 # >>60543417 # >>60543806 # 6054 2058 u G 0544 014 S0544 A25 H C0544449
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)05:23:57 No.60528021 >>60524818 (OP) # Fren. Let me tell you a secret, it's a little personal. I find struggle beautiful. Not in a weird, fetishistic, sexual 85 KB PNG way. And not in the sadistic "ngmi" kind of way. The struggle, to grow, to change, to move forward. >the hatchling cracking the shell >the butterfly bursting it's cacoon >the fight for survival >the will to live beating out the odds There is nothing more synonymous with life itself, and life is the most beautiful thing. If you're trying, if you're struggling, you're beautiful; and in my eyes you're making it. >>60528511 # >>60528789 # >>60528835 # >>60529036 # >>60530102 # >>60530223 # >>60530330 # >>60531881 # >>60532813 # >>60533065 # >>60533547 # >>60534110 # >>60534400 # >>60534410 # >>60534471 # >>60534546 # >>60535634 # >>60535909 # >>60535959 # >>60536179 # >>60538561 # >>60539043 # >>60539061 # >>60539456 # >>60539957 # >>60540440 # >>60541491 # >>60541862 # >>60541983 # >>60542037 # >>60542413 # >>60542961 # >>60542985 # >>60543146 # >>60543417 # >>60543806 # 6054 2058 u G 0544 014 S0544 A25 H C0544449

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And they shall know that I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon them | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)22:22:54 No.852034051 >Be me, 7 at the time >Have "friends" who were only friends with me because they could get me to do stuff for them >This was at a church >Parents forced me to carry a full 46 KB JPG sized bible with me at all times when at church >"Friends" start making me do stuff I didn't want to >l'm sick of it >angery.jpg >They're making fun of me >Remembers I have a large and heavy book in my hands >I know what do >Runs up bashes one over the head, screaming my lungs out >ouch.png >The rest scatter >Kid I hit just stands there, stunned >He just slowly backs away >Turn around to see another kid who watched the whole thing >It's the one who's a tattletale >ohno.mov >He looks mortified and runs off to my dad, in another part of the building >"ANON HIT (friendname) WITH A BOO0OK" >My dad doesn't say anything >Service starts later >We all go to the sanctuary and sit down >l'm terrified >Nervous through entire sermon >Sermon ends, get in car with dad, still scared >Dad looks over with a stern glare >iamgoingtodie >Glare goes away and is replaced with a smile >"I'm proud of you Anon. You stood up for yourself." >extremely confused but happy So that's how I beat another kid with a bible and got congratulated for it somehow. I still don't understand.
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)22:22:54 No.852034051 >Be me, 7 at the time >Have "friends" who were only friends with me because they could get me to do stuff for them >This was at a church >Parents forced me to carry a full 46 KB JPG sized bible with me at all times when at church >"Friends" start making me do stuff I didn't want to >l'm sick of it >angery.jpg >They're making fun of me >Remembers I have a large and heavy book in my hands >I know what do >Runs up bashes one over the head, screaming my lungs out >ouch.png >The rest scatter >Kid I hit just stands there, stunned >He just slowly backs away >Turn around to see another kid who watched the whole thing >It's the one who's a tattletale >ohno.mov >He looks mortified and runs off to my dad, in another part of the building >"ANON HIT (friendname) WITH A BOO0OK" >My dad doesn't say anything >Service starts later >We all go to the sanctuary and sit down >l'm terrified >Nervous through entire sermon >Sermon ends, get in car with dad, still scared >Dad looks over with a stern glare >iamgoingtodie >Glare goes away and is replaced with a smile >"I'm proud of you Anon. You stood up for yourself." >extremely confused but happy So that's how I beat another kid with a bible and got congratulated for it somehow. I still don't understand.

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Anon was ungrateful | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 63205586 >be me >have a------ rash >be me 2 days ago >didn't have a------ rash what an ungrateful little s--- I was. 16.6 kB JPG
Anonymous | 63205586 >be me >have a------ rash >be me 2 days ago >didn't have a------ rash what an ungrateful little s--- I was. 16.6 kB JPG

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Anon gives up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)09:43:03 No.63190036 >Not cute enough to be a sub for a hot dom milf My life is already over. I don't even want to bother trying in life. What's the point if ll never get what I want? 15 KB PNG View Thread
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)09:43:03 No.63190036 >Not cute enough to be a sub for a hot dom milf My life is already over. I don't even want to bother trying in life. What's the point if ll never get what I want? 15 KB PNG View Thread

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Anon hates his brother | /r/Greentext

I'm so f------ done with my older brother anons. >decided at 13 he wasn't gonna live with our parents anymore since we moved outside the town. > moved into our grandparents in town >only left cause wanted to stay with 570 KB JPG friends. > his "friends" all become drug users and drink alot so he becomes one >abused our grandparents for years with verbal abuse >grandma passes leaving grandpa to deal with the s-------- >almost burned house down twice from drunk cooking and passing out > keeps f------ up job opportunities cause wants to just drink all day >tonight destroyed the door and parents went to help grandpa >he abuses mom where he is getting physical >dad slaps him around monke mode for hurting her >straight leaves and tells me all this and goes to bed >currently mom grandpa and the waste of c-- are talking with the police >waste of c-- could press charges > dad might go to jail cause this f------- can't make a good life choices and be a good son. I seriously debated should I just kill him and release this demon from my family but I was always the not f--- up(born after him) so didn't wanna do that to my family. Now I can't sleep until mom gets home so I know she safe. You f----- your life up so just hang yourself and let us live normal lives you s--------.
I'm so f------ done with my older brother anons. >decided at 13 he wasn't gonna live with our parents anymore since we moved outside the town. > moved into our grandparents in town >only left cause wanted to stay with 570 KB JPG friends. > his "friends" all become drug users and drink alot so he becomes one >abused our grandparents for years with verbal abuse >grandma passes leaving grandpa to deal with the s-------- >almost burned house down twice from drunk cooking and passing out > keeps f------ up job opportunities cause wants to just drink all day >tonight destroyed the door and parents went to help grandpa >he abuses mom where he is getting physical >dad slaps him around monke mode for hurting her >straight leaves and tells me all this and goes to bed >currently mom grandpa and the waste of c-- are talking with the police >waste of c-- could press charges > dad might go to jail cause this f------- can't make a good life choices and be a good son. I seriously debated should I just kill him and release this demon from my family but I was always the not f--- up(born after him) so didn't wanna do that to my family. Now I can't sleep until mom gets home so I know she safe. You f----- your life up so just hang yourself and let us live normal lives you s--------.

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Anon learns about class solidarity. | /r/Greentext

O Re · 0 Img · JPG · 278KB · (1047 × 604) >be me >lost great and well paying part-time job due to plandemic >can't find new one for months >see advertisement for job in big company as delivery driver >says they pay 15€ >dudewhythefucknot.jpeg >get job >it's hard but I like 15€ >find out they pay minimum wage until probation is over after first paycheck >probation is 6 months >mfw I got jewed >better keep the job because who know how long covid scam will last and effect job market >get fired after about five months >mfw I got ultra-jewed >rage.img >go to their warehouse on last day where all the n------ work >tell n------ about the jewing >read the news a week or so later >goods in warehouse got destroyed, car windows smashed, some set on fire and some even got s--- and piss in them >mfw I got my revenge without doing anything illegal >mfw the n------ were my allies
O Re · 0 Img · JPG · 278KB · (1047 × 604) >be me >lost great and well paying part-time job due to plandemic >can't find new one for months >see advertisement for job in big company as delivery driver >says they pay 15€ >dudewhythefucknot.jpeg >get job >it's hard but I like 15€ >find out they pay minimum wage until probation is over after first paycheck >probation is 6 months >mfw I got jewed >better keep the job because who know how long covid scam will last and effect job market >get fired after about five months >mfw I got ultra-jewed >rage.img >go to their warehouse on last day where all the n------ work >tell n------ about the jewing >read the news a week or so later >goods in warehouse got destroyed, car windows smashed, some set on fire and some even got s--- and piss in them >mfw I got my revenge without doing anything illegal >mfw the n------ were my allies

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/v/tard ponders brutality of nature | /r/Greentext

File: 1602596553233.webm (1.12 MB, 480x480) O Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)10:33:34 No.551628480 >>55162 >>551628552 >>551628689 >>551629083 >>551629468 >>551629635 >>551630179 >>551630210 >>551630407 >tfw i'm more excited for upcoming mods than actual games O Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)10:42:56 No.551629083 >>551629291 >>551629413 >>551629540 >>551629594 >>551629641 >>551630375 >>551630494 >>551630516 >>551630664 >>551630901 >>551630960 >>551631018 >>551631030 >>551631105 >>551631135 >>551631261 >>551631393 File: 1426760606260.png (464 KB, 481x518) >>551628480 (OP) >cow drinking milk isn't that canibalism? File: 1614785942915.gif (2.6 MB, 498x434) >>551629083 O Anonymous 04/12/21( >>551629083 anon pls File: 1617237193278.pm O Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)10:45:47 No.55162929 File: Are you being retarded on(.).jpg (164 KB, 1224x1 A e ad D >>551629083 This better be bait aceApp >>551629083 god damn it anon >>551629083 this is the funniest post i've seen on /v/ in two months anon, thank you so much ile: 1617169153254.png (113 KB, 297x28 >>551629083 >>551629083 >>551629
File: 1602596553233.webm (1.12 MB, 480x480) O Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)10:33:34 No.551628480 >>55162 >>551628552 >>551628689 >>551629083 >>551629468 >>551629635 >>551630179 >>551630210 >>551630407 >tfw i'm more excited for upcoming mods than actual games O Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)10:42:56 No.551629083 >>551629291 >>551629413 >>551629540 >>551629594 >>551629641 >>551630375 >>551630494 >>551630516 >>551630664 >>551630901 >>551630960 >>551631018 >>551631030 >>551631105 >>551631135 >>551631261 >>551631393 File: 1426760606260.png (464 KB, 481x518) >>551628480 (OP) >cow drinking milk isn't that canibalism? File: 1614785942915.gif (2.6 MB, 498x434) >>551629083 O Anonymous 04/12/21( >>551629083 anon pls File: 1617237193278.pm O Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)10:45:47 No.55162929 File: Are you being retarded on(.).jpg (164 KB, 1224x1 A e ad D >>551629083 This better be bait aceApp >>551629083 god damn it anon >>551629083 this is the funniest post i've seen on /v/ in two months anon, thank you so much ile: 1617169153254.png (113 KB, 297x28 >>551629083 >>551629083 >>551629

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)06:11:03 No.851186233 Retard story time >me, 11 years old >2004 on holiday which family >staying in highrise apartment at beach >have dream like on Bruce Almighty 12 KB JPG where a flying coffee cart comes to my window >only accepts pillows as payment >order hot chocolate >pay with pillow >wake up in morning with no pillow >look through 3 inch gap in safety window >pillow laying on sidewalk Ok
: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)06:11:03 No.851186233 Retard story time >me, 11 years old >2004 on holiday which family >staying in highrise apartment at beach >have dream like on Bruce Almighty 12 KB JPG where a flying coffee cart comes to my window >only accepts pillows as payment >order hot chocolate >pay with pillow >wake up in morning with no pillow >look through 3 inch gap in safety window >pillow laying on sidewalk Ok

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Anon buys plates | /r/Greentext

File: babyplates.jpg (327 KB, 1500x1500) O Anonymous 05/18/15(Mon)21:54:41 No.616562327 > be me > gf gave me $ to buy "fancy dinner plates" > had no idea what to buy looked on amazon for 2 hours > finally found something > "what you pick for us?! ^_^" > "wait and see" > 4 days later a package arrives > gf opens it > she pulls out a set of 8 kid plates with bees on them > starts shrieking and cussing me out calling me a f----- for wasting money on this s--- when she said she wanted GROWN UP PLATES > they never broke tho > cause theyre fine quality plates > they're really great plates > pic related its the plates
File: babyplates.jpg (327 KB, 1500x1500) O Anonymous 05/18/15(Mon)21:54:41 No.616562327 > be me > gf gave me $ to buy "fancy dinner plates" > had no idea what to buy looked on amazon for 2 hours > finally found something > "what you pick for us?! ^_^" > "wait and see" > 4 days later a package arrives > gf opens it > she pulls out a set of 8 kid plates with bees on them > starts shrieking and cussing me out calling me a f----- for wasting money on this s--- when she said she wanted GROWN UP PLATES > they never broke tho > cause theyre fine quality plates > they're really great plates > pic related its the plates

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Anon hates England | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/21(Wed)00:20:36 No.852017090 >smelly brown people everywhere >whole country smells like s--- >politicians are all pedophiles >infrastructure constantly 152 KB JPG breaking >literal gypsys begging on every corner >citizens so poor they can't afford dentists >men are all soyboys who work IT or desk jobs >whole country cries and mourns the death of symbolic government leader for weeks God I f------ hate England. pic unrelated View Thread
: Anonymous 04/14/21(Wed)00:20:36 No.852017090 >smelly brown people everywhere >whole country smells like s--- >politicians are all pedophiles >infrastructure constantly 152 KB JPG breaking >literal gypsys begging on every corner >citizens so poor they can't afford dentists >men are all soyboys who work IT or desk jobs >whole country cries and mourns the death of symbolic government leader for weeks God I f------ hate England. pic unrelated View Thread

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The Sound of Silence | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Butterfly thread 04/13/21(Tue)16:04:11 No.3760944 >Be me >I see an orange leaf >Step on it for the crunchy sound >No crunchy sound >lt wasn't a leaf I stepped on a butterfly 106 KB JPG
: Anonymous Butterfly thread 04/13/21(Tue)16:04:11 No.3760944 >Be me >I see an orange leaf >Step on it for the crunchy sound >No crunchy sound >lt wasn't a leaf I stepped on a butterfly 106 KB JPG

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Anon plays Hide and Seek | /r/Greentext

06/24/18(Sun)07:07:47 No.46329189 Anonymous holy f--- /r9k/ Recently I played THE BEST game of Hide N' Seek with cops. I took notes during this so I could post it here. Here's some backstory; >be me >18 996 KB JPG >party after senior year >not really labeled a partygoer >occasionally drink >didn't like smoking here's the story; >damp and misty night, june 17, 2018 >just met 8/10 girl; her name is Lauren >staying in little lake town for summer >invited to party >awyiss.jpg| >kid named Sean hosting it >sure, he's chill >me and six other people going >roll up to unassuming house in a suburban neighbourhood >walk inside >two things we notice: >1. black tarp on windows >2. huge pile of shoes >yep >host tells us to take off shoes at door >don't argue even though it feels like i'm at a second grade birthday party my mom forced me to go to >went into basement >seems like party is there >it is >next 15 mins, getting drunk and s--- >things take a turn >someone yells that the police are here >F---.jpg >partygoers frantically deciding whether to run or hide >me, inexperienced >decided to hide >thought we would be surrounded so no running w/o being caught >wrong decision >3/7 of my friends make it out >this is where it gets interesting >grab lauren by the hand >run to host's bedroom >boy following us >make eye contact >he winks >seems to think i'm sleeping with her >he leaves >good because if there were more people in there, we probably would have been caught >lauren hides behind couch >i get creative >grab shoes first >people left shoes by door so they would count shoes to see how many people were there >my hiding spot, you may ask?? >imagine a twin bed >picture another twin bed stacked on top of another mattress, both with a fitted sheet (basically two beds on top of each other) >comforter and pillow on top of second mattress >now picture me, flattened between the two twin beds >hands and feet holding down the fitted sheet >hiding the gaps that would show my obviously 3d self >above bed, an egress window >leading into well covered by a bush pt2 Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)07:10:36 No.46329218 >original plan was to try to climb out of it >nope.avi >front door + cops were right next to it >didn't stop me from leaving hand / foot prints outside and on the window >hiding for 20 minutes before someone ran into the bedroom >slams door and sits on bed, directly on my head >oof.jpg >decide it's best to stay quiet >that was smart because a few seconds later loud knocking and police echoed through the room >cops come in, apprehend lauren (qt3.14 hiding behind couch) and boy on top of me >lead them upstairs >sorrylauren.gif >they search room for other people >felt up and down bed, looked under it >imfucked.oof >they grope my body >theend.gif >they didn't find me >victory >police end up finding everyone else at party >breathalizing, issuing tickets, etc >some cops do that, some other cops keep looking for stragglers >search bedroom 2 more times in the next 45 mins >still couldn't find me >howthefuck.png >now I've been under a mattress for slightly more than an hour >night is far from over >people leaving with parents and tickets >while my ass is overheating, suffocating and aching between two beds >once most kids were gone >sweeping for weed, alcohol, etc >counting how many times they sweep the room >lose count around 7 >never been more scared in my life >another half an hour goes by >still waiting for police to leave >thought about giving up >in too deep and momma didn't raise a quitter way >next part freaked me the f--- out >police come into room >didn't know what they were doing >didn't seem like they were looking for someone / something >just talking >all of a sudden window above bed opens >female cop SITS ON TOP OF ME (would make this a "see you later virgins" post but it's not done) >saying how people "must have escaped through there because of the footprints and handprints" >itworked.png >sat there for almost 5 minutes >barely breathing, too scared to do so pt3 comin Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)07:11:36 No.46329225 Those 5 minutes were the longest minutes of my life. >thankfully that was the last time they searched the room >they leave >twenty minutes later, host comes in >"they're gone now; you can come out" >found out later a friend told him where i was via snapchat >must have been lauren before she was caught >climb out of mattress >dripping with sweat, dehydrated, in severe pain >room, which was clean when I arrived, was ransacked >pic related >i was a mess, but i was proud as s--- >not out of the woods yet >figuratively or literally >host tells me police are patrolling neighborhood looking for kids from party >also tells me parents will be home in five minutes and i need to get the f--- out >gives me water bottle and tells me to f------ run >climb out of egress windows >f------ run >usainbolt.gif >too scared to use phone flashlight >ran 2.5 miles >pitch black, moist forest >still mildly drunk >dodging every vehicle i see before i make it to friend's house >take deep breath of relief for the first time since my night started >spend night at friend's >celebrate father's day that morning with her dad (irrelevant but idc) >outcome was i was the only one who didn't get a ticket >friends were all on probation and got tickets And that's the time I hid from the cops for 3 hours and ran 2.5 miles in the pitch black forest to get to safety. Thank you.
06/24/18(Sun)07:07:47 No.46329189 Anonymous holy f--- /r9k/ Recently I played THE BEST game of Hide N' Seek with cops. I took notes during this so I could post it here. Here's some backstory; >be me >18 996 KB JPG >party after senior year >not really labeled a partygoer >occasionally drink >didn't like smoking here's the story; >damp and misty night, june 17, 2018 >just met 8/10 girl; her name is Lauren >staying in little lake town for summer >invited to party >awyiss.jpg| >kid named Sean hosting it >sure, he's chill >me and six other people going >roll up to unassuming house in a suburban neighbourhood >walk inside >two things we notice: >1. black tarp on windows >2. huge pile of shoes >yep >host tells us to take off shoes at door >don't argue even though it feels like i'm at a second grade birthday party my mom forced me to go to >went into basement >seems like party is there >it is >next 15 mins, getting drunk and s--- >things take a turn >someone yells that the police are here >F---.jpg >partygoers frantically deciding whether to run or hide >me, inexperienced >decided to hide >thought we would be surrounded so no running w/o being caught >wrong decision >3/7 of my friends make it out >this is where it gets interesting >grab lauren by the hand >run to host's bedroom >boy following us >make eye contact >he winks >seems to think i'm sleeping with her >he leaves >good because if there were more people in there, we probably would have been caught >lauren hides behind couch >i get creative >grab shoes first >people left shoes by door so they would count shoes to see how many people were there >my hiding spot, you may ask?? >imagine a twin bed >picture another twin bed stacked on top of another mattress, both with a fitted sheet (basically two beds on top of each other) >comforter and pillow on top of second mattress >now picture me, flattened between the two twin beds >hands and feet holding down the fitted sheet >hiding the gaps that would show my obviously 3d self >above bed, an egress window >leading into well covered by a bush pt2 Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)07:10:36 No.46329218 >original plan was to try to climb out of it >nope.avi >front door + cops were right next to it >didn't stop me from leaving hand / foot prints outside and on the window >hiding for 20 minutes before someone ran into the bedroom >slams door and sits on bed, directly on my head >oof.jpg >decide it's best to stay quiet >that was smart because a few seconds later loud knocking and police echoed through the room >cops come in, apprehend lauren (qt3.14 hiding behind couch) and boy on top of me >lead them upstairs >sorrylauren.gif >they search room for other people >felt up and down bed, looked under it >imfucked.oof >they grope my body >theend.gif >they didn't find me >victory >police end up finding everyone else at party >breathalizing, issuing tickets, etc >some cops do that, some other cops keep looking for stragglers >search bedroom 2 more times in the next 45 mins >still couldn't find me >howthefuck.png >now I've been under a mattress for slightly more than an hour >night is far from over >people leaving with parents and tickets >while my ass is overheating, suffocating and aching between two beds >once most kids were gone >sweeping for weed, alcohol, etc >counting how many times they sweep the room >lose count around 7 >never been more scared in my life >another half an hour goes by >still waiting for police to leave >thought about giving up >in too deep and momma didn't raise a quitter way >next part freaked me the f--- out >police come into room >didn't know what they were doing >didn't seem like they were looking for someone / something >just talking >all of a sudden window above bed opens >female cop SITS ON TOP OF ME (would make this a "see you later virgins" post but it's not done) >saying how people "must have escaped through there because of the footprints and handprints" >itworked.png >sat there for almost 5 minutes >barely breathing, too scared to do so pt3 comin Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)07:11:36 No.46329225 Those 5 minutes were the longest minutes of my life. >thankfully that was the last time they searched the room >they leave >twenty minutes later, host comes in >"they're gone now; you can come out" >found out later a friend told him where i was via snapchat >must have been lauren before she was caught >climb out of mattress >dripping with sweat, dehydrated, in severe pain >room, which was clean when I arrived, was ransacked >pic related >i was a mess, but i was proud as s--- >not out of the woods yet >figuratively or literally >host tells me police are patrolling neighborhood looking for kids from party >also tells me parents will be home in five minutes and i need to get the f--- out >gives me water bottle and tells me to f------ run >climb out of egress windows >f------ run >usainbolt.gif >too scared to use phone flashlight >ran 2.5 miles >pitch black, moist forest >still mildly drunk >dodging every vehicle i see before i make it to friend's house >take deep breath of relief for the first time since my night started >spend night at friend's >celebrate father's day that morning with her dad (irrelevant but idc) >outcome was i was the only one who didn't get a ticket >friends were all on probation and got tickets And that's the time I hid from the cops for 3 hours and ran 2.5 miles in the pitch black forest to get to safety. Thank you.

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Anon has school | /r/Greentext

File: 172-1728954_troll-pepe.png (106 KB, 900x820) O Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)07:50:49 No.851990811 >be me >15 >test tomorrow, didnt study >idea.jpg >gonna drop a knife on my foot so i cant go to school >drop the biggest f------ knife we had in house >chop off toe >fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck >go to hospital >cant save my toe >test successfully evaded >mfw
File: 172-1728954_troll-pepe.png (106 KB, 900x820) O Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)07:50:49 No.851990811 >be me >15 >test tomorrow, didnt study >idea.jpg >gonna drop a knife on my foot so i cant go to school >drop the biggest f------ knife we had in house >chop off toe >fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck >go to hospital >cant save my toe >test successfully evaded >mfw

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Anon is in the feels | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)08:56:25 No.63189554 In a doomer mood tonight, post stories about times you lacked the balls to go after a girl you liked/wasted too much time fantasizing about one. I'll go first: >Be me, in college >Major is kinda small so everyone knows each other 20 KB JPG >Become Facebook friends with a girl in one of my classes >She starts to like memes I share >Start liking her posts back >We barely talk IRL but clearly know each other >Become convinced that since she likes my memes we would be a good couple >Do nothing about it, just fantasize all spring semester >Spend entire summer fantasizing about her, tell self l'll ask her out when school starts again in fall >Find out she's going on study abroad for fall semester >f---.tiff >Continue to fantasize entire fall semester >Finally, she returns from study abroad and spring semester starts >Find out she had a boyfriend and has had one the entire time I was fantasizing about her >Make this post 4 years later
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)08:56:25 No.63189554 In a doomer mood tonight, post stories about times you lacked the balls to go after a girl you liked/wasted too much time fantasizing about one. I'll go first: >Be me, in college >Major is kinda small so everyone knows each other 20 KB JPG >Become Facebook friends with a girl in one of my classes >She starts to like memes I share >Start liking her posts back >We barely talk IRL but clearly know each other >Become convinced that since she likes my memes we would be a good couple >Do nothing about it, just fantasize all spring semester >Spend entire summer fantasizing about her, tell self l'll ask her out when school starts again in fall >Find out she's going on study abroad for fall semester >f---.tiff >Continue to fantasize entire fall semester >Finally, she returns from study abroad and spring semester starts >Find out she had a boyfriend and has had one the entire time I was fantasizing about her >Make this post 4 years later

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anon develops a habit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)09:37:58 No.63194512 Guys i f----- up >work from home >spend an hour every day on conference calls with team and female BIGSTOCK boss >not expected to do work during these calls, just listen, all webcams off 269 KB JPG except for oss >start watching p--- and jerking off during these calls to appease my morning wood >do this for months while boss is talking in my ear >now i cant j------- unless i have my boss' voice in my ear >start jerking off listening to the handful of VM she has left me over the years >its getting worse >if no boss voice, i go limp >now i c-- hardest when the actress looks like my boss What can i do?
Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)09:37:58 No.63194512 Guys i f----- up >work from home >spend an hour every day on conference calls with team and female BIGSTOCK boss >not expected to do work during these calls, just listen, all webcams off 269 KB JPG except for oss >start watching p--- and jerking off during these calls to appease my morning wood >do this for months while boss is talking in my ear >now i cant j------- unless i have my boss' voice in my ear >start jerking off listening to the handful of VM she has left me over the years >its getting worse >if no boss voice, i go limp >now i c-- hardest when the actress looks like my boss What can i do?

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Anon wasn't smart after all | /r/Greentext

00000 KPN NL ? 10:15 @ 78% boards.4chan.org >Spend all my life being told by my parents that l'm smart. >Teachers tell me l'm smart. >Social retard, but get good grades. >Fall for the "must just be a tortured genius" meme. >Double down on academics and completely ignore social development since Il've memed myself in to thinking others are just too dumb to get me. >Get straight As all through school, which only 9 KB JPG reinforces this. >By college, still being a virgin weighs on me, but at this point I've resigned myself to the life of a scholar so I ignore it and work even harder. >At least being smart makes me special. >Get straight As through undergrad, majored in chemistry. >Do great on the MCAT >Get in to med school. > Surprise. Everyone here is smart as f---. I'm probably dead average comparatively. No longer special at all. >Begin to realize that I wasn't actually all that smart at all, I just worked like an autist all the time on getting good grades since I didn't have a social life. >okay, well at least l'll be surrounded by other social outcasts, right? >No. Med school is full of Chads and Stacies who are not only smarter than me, but are socially graceful.
00000 KPN NL ? 10:15 @ 78% boards.4chan.org >Spend all my life being told by my parents that l'm smart. >Teachers tell me l'm smart. >Social retard, but get good grades. >Fall for the "must just be a tortured genius" meme. >Double down on academics and completely ignore social development since Il've memed myself in to thinking others are just too dumb to get me. >Get straight As all through school, which only 9 KB JPG reinforces this. >By college, still being a virgin weighs on me, but at this point I've resigned myself to the life of a scholar so I ignore it and work even harder. >At least being smart makes me special. >Get straight As through undergrad, majored in chemistry. >Do great on the MCAT >Get in to med school. > Surprise. Everyone here is smart as f---. I'm probably dead average comparatively. No longer special at all. >Begin to realize that I wasn't actually all that smart at all, I just worked like an autist all the time on getting good grades since I didn't have a social life. >okay, well at least l'll be surrounded by other social outcasts, right? >No. Med school is full of Chads and Stacies who are not only smarter than me, but are socially graceful.

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anon flexes | /r/Greentext


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Anon plays Mafia | /r/Greentext

>Be me >15 at the time >Little to no irl friends >No gf >Just got Mafia 2 >l am immediately interested in Joe Barbaro >Start copying his voice, mannerisms, language, and looks. >l basically start wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a leather jacket and jeans and acting like a stereotypical New Jersey or New York guy. >l'm also interested by classic cars due to Mafia 2 >Save up enough money to get a Karmann Ghia >get a s--- ton of friends >Somehow get an average looking gf >Get my first bj in spring >Get laid sometime during summer >Mfw Joe Barbaro got me laid
>Be me >15 at the time >Little to no irl friends >No gf >Just got Mafia 2 >l am immediately interested in Joe Barbaro >Start copying his voice, mannerisms, language, and looks. >l basically start wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a leather jacket and jeans and acting like a stereotypical New Jersey or New York guy. >l'm also interested by classic cars due to Mafia 2 >Save up enough money to get a Karmann Ghia >get a s--- ton of friends >Somehow get an average looking gf >Get my first bj in spring >Get laid sometime during summer >Mfw Joe Barbaro got me laid

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