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Anon loses his virginity. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/21(Wed)14:39:48 No.63213550 >30 years old and a virgin >fell for the get TOPPED meme >met up with a guy in his forties last night >cleaned my ass before going over >awkward conversation and have a 29 KB PNG beer >go into bedroom >he hands me his dead wife's clothes >put them on and sit on his lap >he slips down my panties and starts f------ me as I sit on him >worst pain of me life >go through with until he c--- in me >he kisses me and I c-- immediately Am I the gay?
: Anonymous 04/14/21(Wed)14:39:48 No.63213550 >30 years old and a virgin >fell for the get TOPPED meme >met up with a guy in his forties last night >cleaned my ass before going over >awkward conversation and have a 29 KB PNG beer >go into bedroom >he hands me his dead wife's clothes >put them on and sit on his lap >he slips down my panties and starts f------ me as I sit on him >worst pain of me life >go through with until he c--- in me >he kisses me and I c-- immediately Am I the gay?

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Anon gets raped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/21(Wed)13:47:03 No.852053870 >be me >be in college >girl comes over >6/10 would not bang >express this to her >multiple times >still down to smooch tho 1.09 MB JPG >we smoochin >no clothes >she says "I wanna put u inside" >l say nah >she puts me inside /b/ did I lose my virginity via r---?
: Anonymous 04/14/21(Wed)13:47:03 No.852053870 >be me >be in college >girl comes over >6/10 would not bang >express this to her >multiple times >still down to smooch tho 1.09 MB JPG >we smoochin >no clothes >she says "I wanna put u inside" >l say nah >she puts me inside /b/ did I lose my virginity via r---?

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Anon asks the hot girl for her writing instrument. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous06/07/17(Wed)22:27:04 No.37570730 >really hot girl in class >decide to work up the courage to speak to her >"H-hey.. c-can I borrow your pen for a second?" >she hands me her pen >realize I dont even have 24 KB JPG paper to write on >shes staring at me >My mind is racing what to do >Draw a penis on my hand >give her back her pen and walk away imgflip.com
: Anonymous06/07/17(Wed)22:27:04 No.37570730 >really hot girl in class >decide to work up the courage to speak to her >"H-hey.. c-can I borrow your pen for a second?" >she hands me her pen >realize I dont even have 24 KB JPG paper to write on >shes staring at me >My mind is racing what to do >Draw a penis on my hand >give her back her pen and walk away imgflip.com

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Anon just don't have what it takes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)04:52:24 No.15928024 >one chance at life >allergic to nuts 3 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)04:54:48 No.15928035 >one chance at life >lactose intolerant :(
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)04:52:24 No.15928024 >one chance at life >allergic to nuts 3 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)04:54:48 No.15928035 >one chance at life >lactose intolerant :(

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Anon has won.... but at what cost. | /r/Greentext

> Bought a new PS4 > Last ones fan was super loud > New super small slim one > Zero noise > mfw I can hear my parents fight now
> Bought a new PS4 > Last ones fan was super loud > New super small slim one > Zero noise > mfw I can hear my parents fight now

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Anon tries learning Korean, gives up after seeing the might of the ARMY. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/06/18(Sat)22:11:49 No.48545174 >be me >want to learn korean >google how to read korean >click on a video explaining hangul >finish video, learned how to read >feelsgood.mov 30 KB JPG >scroll down to comment section to see if theres any useful information >ohno.jpg >every comment is "WHO ELSE IS HERE FOR BTS" or "ANY ARMIES??" suddenly, i dont want to learn korean anymore
: Anonymous 10/06/18(Sat)22:11:49 No.48545174 >be me >want to learn korean >google how to read korean >click on a video explaining hangul >finish video, learned how to read >feelsgood.mov 30 KB JPG >scroll down to comment section to see if theres any useful information >ohno.jpg >every comment is "WHO ELSE IS HERE FOR BTS" or "ANY ARMIES??" suddenly, i dont want to learn korean anymore

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anon is racist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Faggotry on Discord - if you d(...) 04/15/21(Thu)00:23:15 No.63220353 nae n---- nae nae >be me >someone sends *that* one n---- n---- nae nae Chinese song that sounds like a funny English word on a Discord meme channel (pic related) 47 KB JPG >I reply "nae n---- nae nae n---- n---- nae nae" >mod deletes my comment and says it is racist, gives me a warning >fight him for like 30 minutes on how my message does not break any server rules as it is not directed towards no one in specific >kicks me >ffw 3 days later >receive friend request from some random guy >ассеpt >he sends screenshots of the mod's message history on the server, 156 results for "n----" How can people be so shameless?
: Anonymous Faggotry on Discord - if you d(...) 04/15/21(Thu)00:23:15 No.63220353 nae n---- nae nae >be me >someone sends *that* one n---- n---- nae nae Chinese song that sounds like a funny English word on a Discord meme channel (pic related) 47 KB JPG >I reply "nae n---- nae nae n---- n---- nae nae" >mod deletes my comment and says it is racist, gives me a warning >fight him for like 30 minutes on how my message does not break any server rules as it is not directed towards no one in specific >kicks me >ffw 3 days later >receive friend request from some random guy >ассеpt >he sends screenshots of the mod's message history on the server, 156 results for "n----" How can people be so shameless?

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Anon is a wizard | /r/Greentext


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Mom found the cum sock | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)22:38:28 No.63204518 >Be kids in the early 2000's >me and brother like to rough SocKEP OpPErS house and wrestle >See commercial on TV >SOCK EM BOPPERS >huge inflatables you put on your 83 KB JPG fists >they look ridiculous and are bigger than you >can punch each other and not get hurt >beg mom to get them for my birthday >Birthday arrives >Two brand new pairs of SOCK EM BOPPERS for me and my little brother. >Spend about an hour blowing them up >Put them on and feel like the f------ Hulk >Do a few practice motions with my arms >Bop pop pop >aw yea, these are >"SOCK EM BOPPERS" >WOOOM BLLAAAMMM >Little brother just CLOBBERS me in the face as hard as possible >Fly 2 feet in the air backwards in slow motion >hit the ground >Wake up in the hospital 3 days later and only know what happened cause they told me >Mom took away SOCKEM BOPPERS >lil bro One Punch Man'd me >He told the whole school the story and my g/f left me >cucked by being bopped by the sockems
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)22:38:28 No.63204518 >Be kids in the early 2000's >me and brother like to rough SocKEP OpPErS house and wrestle >See commercial on TV >SOCK EM BOPPERS >huge inflatables you put on your 83 KB JPG fists >they look ridiculous and are bigger than you >can punch each other and not get hurt >beg mom to get them for my birthday >Birthday arrives >Two brand new pairs of SOCK EM BOPPERS for me and my little brother. >Spend about an hour blowing them up >Put them on and feel like the f------ Hulk >Do a few practice motions with my arms >Bop pop pop >aw yea, these are >"SOCK EM BOPPERS" >WOOOM BLLAAAMMM >Little brother just CLOBBERS me in the face as hard as possible >Fly 2 feet in the air backwards in slow motion >hit the ground >Wake up in the hospital 3 days later and only know what happened cause they told me >Mom took away SOCKEM BOPPERS >lil bro One Punch Man'd me >He told the whole school the story and my g/f left me >cucked by being bopped by the sockems

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Anon wants England to win | /r/Greentext

my stock photo Anonymous08/25/20(Tue)13:54:13 No.129302917 2129303634 >129304612 *BANG BANG >CAM ON INGERLAND *BANG BANG >SCOR SOM FACKIN GOALS *BANG BANG*
my stock photo Anonymous08/25/20(Tue)13:54:13 No.129302917 2129303634 >129304612 *BANG BANG >CAM ON INGERLAND *BANG BANG >SCOR SOM FACKIN GOALS *BANG BANG*

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Anon likes grape | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)01:56:21 No.848996983 >be me >eating grape and watching tv >grape tasty grape 8 KB JPG 5 Replies /3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)01:56:21 No.848996983 >be me >eating grape and watching tv >grape tasty grape 8 KB JPG 5 Replies /3 Images View Thread

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Anon goes to reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)09:08:52 No.41840022 4chan >Call someone a f----- >At worst they call you a f----- back >That's that 3 KB PNG Reddit >Call someone a f----- >"I thought that in this day and age we wouldn't have to deal with homophobia my grandfather was a leather daddy in the 50s and he had AIDS and that's ok and multiculturalism is great and I love b--------- and... Etc >You have been banned fro r/whatever please suck our d---- to come back Redditors can't even handle entry-level banter, they're like the preschoolers of the internet.
: Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)09:08:52 No.41840022 4chan >Call someone a f----- >At worst they call you a f----- back >That's that 3 KB PNG Reddit >Call someone a f----- >"I thought that in this day and age we wouldn't have to deal with homophobia my grandfather was a leather daddy in the 50s and he had AIDS and that's ok and multiculturalism is great and I love b--------- and... Etc >You have been banned fro r/whatever please suck our d---- to come back Redditors can't even handle entry-level banter, they're like the preschoolers of the internet.

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Anon orders a pizza | /r/Greentext

: Anon 04/14/21(Wed)12:39:54 No.63214213 >Be me >Ordering pizza >Eventually it arrives >Open door and see this beautiful delivery girl with my pizza >MfwI don't have any money >Look up at her and smile 29 KB JPG >Reach for my pants >Pull out baseball bat and crack it over her head >Mfw she's f------ dead >OHSHITOHFUCK >Put her body in my car and drive to woods >Bury her body and drive home >Get home >Finally able to eat pizza >The pizza is cold and tastes like s--- >Throw the pizza in a pile of other cold pizzas >Start to order another pizza
: Anon 04/14/21(Wed)12:39:54 No.63214213 >Be me >Ordering pizza >Eventually it arrives >Open door and see this beautiful delivery girl with my pizza >MfwI don't have any money >Look up at her and smile 29 KB JPG >Reach for my pants >Pull out baseball bat and crack it over her head >Mfw she's f------ dead >OHSHITOHFUCK >Put her body in my car and drive to woods >Bury her body and drive home >Get home >Finally able to eat pizza >The pizza is cold and tastes like s--- >Throw the pizza in a pile of other cold pizzas >Start to order another pizza

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old but gold | /r/Greentext

Story time robots >be me >27 year old nerd-virgin >Finally move out of my parent's house and into an apartment complex a month ago >live next to roastie This isn't even my final form. 148 KB PNG >Trying to go to sleep first night living here >Hear this bitch moaning and making loud sex sounds for a solid hour >Keeps me up past midnight >tired at work next morning >this happens EVERY F------ night >I try banging on the wall >F------ don't hear it or just ignore it >After a week, I go over and voice my dissatisfaction >Chad and bitch come out and say that they have the right to do what they want in their apartment >tell me to get f----- >That night, they're louder, more obnoxious, and go for longer than before >itson.wav >go to guitar center and buy the biggest, loudest, speakers they have >record audio of them f------ a few nights (gotta ensure I get the very best they have to offer) >begin observing their habits >notice they have friends over every friday night for drinking and s--- >intend to execute my plan the next Friday >Come home on a Wednesday and as I'm walking by, I see her walking into her apartment with her parents >ohshit.webm >Run into my apartment faster than a n----- with a TV >plug speakers into laptop >Crank it up to max setting >ExecuteOrder66.gif >audio file begins playing >sounds of "uhhh, UHHHHH UHHHHHHHH CHAD YES!!! YES! F--- MY ASS!" can be heard throughout the building >feels like the windows might shatter from the sounds >when audio file ends, hear yelling from her apartment >hear sirens >Apparently, her father had a stroke from the embarrassment of hearing his daughter ask for Chad's hot c-- in her a------ >He recovers (kind of) >Never see Chad again >Roastie never has guys over again either >Last I heard, she was on antidepressants and doesn't go out anymore mfw I finally can get to sleep at a decent hour. mfw I ruin a roastie's life. mfw it was all well worth it
Story time robots >be me >27 year old nerd-virgin >Finally move out of my parent's house and into an apartment complex a month ago >live next to roastie This isn't even my final form. 148 KB PNG >Trying to go to sleep first night living here >Hear this bitch moaning and making loud sex sounds for a solid hour >Keeps me up past midnight >tired at work next morning >this happens EVERY F------ night >I try banging on the wall >F------ don't hear it or just ignore it >After a week, I go over and voice my dissatisfaction >Chad and bitch come out and say that they have the right to do what they want in their apartment >tell me to get f----- >That night, they're louder, more obnoxious, and go for longer than before >itson.wav >go to guitar center and buy the biggest, loudest, speakers they have >record audio of them f------ a few nights (gotta ensure I get the very best they have to offer) >begin observing their habits >notice they have friends over every friday night for drinking and s--- >intend to execute my plan the next Friday >Come home on a Wednesday and as I'm walking by, I see her walking into her apartment with her parents >ohshit.webm >Run into my apartment faster than a n----- with a TV >plug speakers into laptop >Crank it up to max setting >ExecuteOrder66.gif >audio file begins playing >sounds of "uhhh, UHHHHH UHHHHHHHH CHAD YES!!! YES! F--- MY ASS!" can be heard throughout the building >feels like the windows might shatter from the sounds >when audio file ends, hear yelling from her apartment >hear sirens >Apparently, her father had a stroke from the embarrassment of hearing his daughter ask for Chad's hot c-- in her a------ >He recovers (kind of) >Never see Chad again >Roastie never has guys over again either >Last I heard, she was on antidepressants and doesn't go out anymore mfw I finally can get to sleep at a decent hour. mfw I ruin a roastie's life. mfw it was all well worth it

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Anon finds love | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/19(Fri)17:38:28 No.792141603 >seeing some girl recently >go to her house to f--- her again >while we are cuddling ask her what's on her mind >tells me that she likes me >tell her I like her too 410 KB PNG >tells me how she likes to kiss me, hold me, how she likes me eyes, my laugh, the way I talk >we don't fall asleep until 5am >leave her house around 7am >keeps saying she doesn't want me to go >driving back to my place the feelings hit me >ffw you've been emotionally deprived for the first 19 years of your life >tfw you thought you would end up alone and a loser but you managed to turn out just fine >tfw you realize you aren't alone in this world >tfw you matter to someone It's a feeling that is warmer than heroin /b/
: Anonymous 02/08/19(Fri)17:38:28 No.792141603 >seeing some girl recently >go to her house to f--- her again >while we are cuddling ask her what's on her mind >tells me that she likes me >tell her I like her too 410 KB PNG >tells me how she likes to kiss me, hold me, how she likes me eyes, my laugh, the way I talk >we don't fall asleep until 5am >leave her house around 7am >keeps saying she doesn't want me to go >driving back to my place the feelings hit me >ffw you've been emotionally deprived for the first 19 years of your life >tfw you thought you would end up alone and a loser but you managed to turn out just fine >tfw you realize you aren't alone in this world >tfw you matter to someone It's a feeling that is warmer than heroin /b/

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Anon goes to a cringe gym | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)07:20:53 No.58663104 > looking for a new gym > ask the gym receptionist if their gym is based or cringe > she doesn't understand > pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is based and what is cringe > she laughs and says "it's a good gym 23 KB JPG sir" > buy a membership > its cringe
: Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)07:20:53 No.58663104 > looking for a new gym > ask the gym receptionist if their gym is based or cringe > she doesn't understand > pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is based and what is cringe > she laughs and says "it's a good gym 23 KB JPG sir" > buy a membership > its cringe

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Anon wants some advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/19(Sat)23:33:31 No.53257079 >finally get gf >she's on my computer >finds my pepe folder >"anon, what are these?" >"those are for shitposting" >"you don't need these anymore now that you've got me" 40 KB JPG >*deletes pepe folder* wat do? 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 07/06/19(Sat)23:41:29 No.53257174 >>53257079 (OP) # F------ KILL HER REEEEEEEEЕЕЕЕ 53 KB JPG let's send this poor bastard some pepes to rebuild his collection anons
: Anonymous 07/06/19(Sat)23:33:31 No.53257079 >finally get gf >she's on my computer >finds my pepe folder >"anon, what are these?" >"those are for shitposting" >"you don't need these anymore now that you've got me" 40 KB JPG >*deletes pepe folder* wat do? 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 07/06/19(Sat)23:41:29 No.53257174 >>53257079 (OP) # F------ KILL HER REEEEEEEEЕЕЕЕ 53 KB JPG let's send this poor bastard some pepes to rebuild his collection anons

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Anon creates minecraft.exe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 66X97XZO) 07/21/14(Mon)21:32:39 No.55 >be grade 12 >all the school computers are windows XP >minecraft alpha going crazy at the time >cleveridea.jpg >one day in library during lunch >see open computer >sit down open up notepad >enter code for deleting system 32 >change the icon to minecraft >name it minecraft.exe >put it in computer shared drive >next day like 14-30 computers all bricked >never found out it was me
Anonymous (ID: 66X97XZO) 07/21/14(Mon)21:32:39 No.55 >be grade 12 >all the school computers are windows XP >minecraft alpha going crazy at the time >cleveridea.jpg >one day in library during lunch >see open computer >sit down open up notepad >enter code for deleting system 32 >change the icon to minecraft >name it minecraft.exe >put it in computer shared drive >next day like 14-30 computers all bricked >never found out it was me

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Anon is a true gamer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Game you like 04/14/21(Wed)17:06:12 No.63209252 >download new game >start it up >finish tutorial or one mission >close game and delete > spend 2 hours looking for new game to play >repeat oh my f------ god please help i just want 37 KB JPG to feel something again : Anonymous 04/14/21 (Wed)17:10:45 No.63209287 >>63209252 (OP)# I know the feeling Embrace it and play shorter games Or find a new hobby You could make your own game I've been making mine, it's work but it's satisfying
: Anonymous Game you like 04/14/21(Wed)17:06:12 No.63209252 >download new game >start it up >finish tutorial or one mission >close game and delete > spend 2 hours looking for new game to play >repeat oh my f------ god please help i just want 37 KB JPG to feel something again : Anonymous 04/14/21 (Wed)17:10:45 No.63209287 >>63209252 (OP)# I know the feeling Embrace it and play shorter games Or find a new hobby You could make your own game I've been making mine, it's work but it's satisfying

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Anon uses his computer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/27/19(Wed)20:42:11 No.69975315 >pc starts making loud noises >smacked the bitch on its side >pc immediately becomes silent >30 minutes passes by >feel regret about my action because i hurt muh baby gurl 32 KB PNG >she's been giving me the silent treatment for an entire week now how can i make things right again bros? i know it's my fault and that i should've never hurt her. i dont want our relationship to break 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/27/19(Wed)20:44:38 No.69975330 F--- her through her usb port
: Anonymous 02/27/19(Wed)20:42:11 No.69975315 >pc starts making loud noises >smacked the bitch on its side >pc immediately becomes silent >30 minutes passes by >feel regret about my action because i hurt muh baby gurl 32 KB PNG >she's been giving me the silent treatment for an entire week now how can i make things right again bros? i know it's my fault and that i should've never hurt her. i dont want our relationship to break 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/27/19(Wed)20:44:38 No.69975330 F--- her through her usb port

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