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Anon is alive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)09:20:57 No.63254884 >wake up >realise that I am still alive the horror 188 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)09:20:57 No.63254884 >wake up >realise that I am still alive the horror 188 KB PNG

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anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)21:41:13 No.63265334 >Talking to a therapist, she asks me about my sexual history >Tell her I'm a virgin still at WHAM 28 I did. eskt. >"Oh, so you're asexual?" >"No, I'm not, I want to 55 KB JPG have sex I just haven't." >"What do you mean?" >"What do you mean what do I mean?" >"You can't tell me you've honestly been trying this long and are still a virgin?" >mfw I didn't know what to f------ say to that and she changed the subject. Therapy is f------ useless. View Thread
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)21:41:13 No.63265334 >Talking to a therapist, she asks me about my sexual history >Tell her I'm a virgin still at WHAM 28 I did. eskt. >"Oh, so you're asexual?" >"No, I'm not, I want to 55 KB JPG have sex I just haven't." >"What do you mean?" >"What do you mean what do I mean?" >"You can't tell me you've honestly been trying this long and are still a virgin?" >mfw I didn't know what to f------ say to that and she changed the subject. Therapy is f------ useless. View Thread

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someone get a therapist for that poor therapist | /r/Greentext

View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO 1422937772596.jpg, 56KİB, 633x758 Anonymous Thu 19 Mar 2015 04:39:38 No.17201735 | Quoted By: >>17201837 >>17201864 >>17201890 >>17202626 >>17202664 >>17202668 >>17203799 Report >tell my psychologist about r9k, chad, normalfags, pepe, wojak and show her some threads I made >almost doubles my medication by the time it's over and tells me to stay away from toxic environments >can't forget the f------ look on her face as I showed her my reaction image folder and scrolled through 1200 frog pictures
View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO 1422937772596.jpg, 56KİB, 633x758 Anonymous Thu 19 Mar 2015 04:39:38 No.17201735 | Quoted By: >>17201837 >>17201864 >>17201890 >>17202626 >>17202664 >>17202668 >>17203799 Report >tell my psychologist about r9k, chad, normalfags, pepe, wojak and show her some threads I made >almost doubles my medication by the time it's over and tells me to stay away from toxic environments >can't forget the f------ look on her face as I showed her my reaction image folder and scrolled through 1200 frog pictures

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Anon looks on the bright side | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)14:17:39 No.63258486 EyFyyU7XAAI6pWb.png 1.69 MB PNG >TFW socially retarded af >TFW maxxed out the ability to pick out the right music for people >TFW will never know true love or friendship but at least get to have fun being the extended family's weird private DJ Could be worse.
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)14:17:39 No.63258486 EyFyyU7XAAI6pWb.png 1.69 MB PNG >TFW socially retarded af >TFW maxxed out the ability to pick out the right music for people >TFW will never know true love or friendship but at least get to have fun being the extended family's weird private DJ Could be worse.

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Odd man out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)03:11:20 No.63191644 What's the most f----- up nightmare you've had anons? Here's mine >2013 >103F fever 40 KB JPG >sleeping after hours of tossing and turning >"wake up" in my old bed at my old house >everything is dark, hear noise coming from downstairs >walk downstairs into the kitchen >mom is standing over the stove, hunched over and still >call out >she slowly lift her head backwards to face me >eyes wide and pitch black, as is mouth >her whole body leans back, cracking while doing so, twitches and starts skittering towards me like an insect >dart upstairs >brother and dad are the same, both on the hallway walls >jump on me >wake up in a cold sweat Still think about it daily to this day.
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)03:11:20 No.63191644 What's the most f----- up nightmare you've had anons? Here's mine >2013 >103F fever 40 KB JPG >sleeping after hours of tossing and turning >"wake up" in my old bed at my old house >everything is dark, hear noise coming from downstairs >walk downstairs into the kitchen >mom is standing over the stove, hunched over and still >call out >she slowly lift her head backwards to face me >eyes wide and pitch black, as is mouth >her whole body leans back, cracking while doing so, twitches and starts skittering towards me like an insect >dart upstairs >brother and dad are the same, both on the hallway walls >jump on me >wake up in a cold sweat Still think about it daily to this day.

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Anon is too quick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)19:46:24 No.63257304 Do robots go to prostitutes? >Be me >21, touchless virgin >Look up for a local h----- >l get all my s--- together and call her 27 KB JPG >We finnaly meet >Want payment in advance >Okay, i guess >She grab my d--- to put on the condom >l coomed on her hands >Wow you didn't last long... I feel ashamed. Fuckn scamers.
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)19:46:24 No.63257304 Do robots go to prostitutes? >Be me >21, touchless virgin >Look up for a local h----- >l get all my s--- together and call her 27 KB JPG >We finnaly meet >Want payment in advance >Okay, i guess >She grab my d--- to put on the condom >l coomed on her hands >Wow you didn't last long... I feel ashamed. Fuckn scamers.

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Anon learns about the bush war | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/17(Wed)09:11:28 No.79676775 >>7967593% This reminds me of something I read from the Bush War >Rhodies recover enemy rifles after each engagement >They keep finding rifles with the rear sight dialed in to the highest setting, practically f------ indirect fire >They are extremely confused by this >Eventually they ask a prisoner about it during interrogation >Literally none of them know what the sights are for, they think that choosing the bigger number makes the gun shoot harder Warfare in Africa is truly unbelievable >>79678011 # >>79678022 # >>79678742 #
: Anonymous 02/22/17(Wed)09:11:28 No.79676775 >>7967593% This reminds me of something I read from the Bush War >Rhodies recover enemy rifles after each engagement >They keep finding rifles with the rear sight dialed in to the highest setting, practically f------ indirect fire >They are extremely confused by this >Eventually they ask a prisoner about it during interrogation >Literally none of them know what the sights are for, they think that choosing the bigger number makes the gun shoot harder Warfare in Africa is truly unbelievable >>79678011 # >>79678022 # >>79678742 #

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Anon wastes his life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/17(Tue)09:52:59 No.38148964 >it'll get better in high school >it'll get better in college >it'l' get better in university >it will get better when i have a job >ive wasted my entire f------ life, my youth is gone ive missed out 142 KB PNG on love and any important milestones in a normal persons life View Thread
: Anonymous 07/04/17(Tue)09:52:59 No.38148964 >it'll get better in high school >it'll get better in college >it'l' get better in university >it will get better when i have a job >ive wasted my entire f------ life, my youth is gone ive missed out 142 KB PNG on love and any important milestones in a normal persons life View Thread

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anon is gonna rob a child | /r/Greentext

File: received_789393111995509.jpg (6 KB, 224x224) O Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)17:24:08 No.852313184 >Ве you >Be Home alone >Mfw
File: received_789393111995509.jpg (6 KB, 224x224) O Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)17:24:08 No.852313184 >Ве you >Be Home alone >Mfw

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:27:59 No.63252671 >be me >in my house with an umbrella >its blue with a sharp point at the top >there's this big ass rat in my house >have to kill it FuceApp 71 KB JPG >I stab at the rat with my umbrella trying to get a headshot >keep missing >this mf is comin for me >finally secure the one tap >distinctly remember the feeling of hitting its skull with my umbrella >no damage is done and the rat is upon me >l am bitten >I wake up I dont know what this means, if anything. I dont remember most of my dreams but this one stuck for some reason
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:27:59 No.63252671 >be me >in my house with an umbrella >its blue with a sharp point at the top >there's this big ass rat in my house >have to kill it FuceApp 71 KB JPG >I stab at the rat with my umbrella trying to get a headshot >keep missing >this mf is comin for me >finally secure the one tap >distinctly remember the feeling of hitting its skull with my umbrella >no damage is done and the rat is upon me >l am bitten >I wake up I dont know what this means, if anything. I dont remember most of my dreams but this one stuck for some reason

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Anon do the right | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come 17 KB JPG >she was too drunk after party to drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?
: Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come 17 KB JPG >she was too drunk after party to drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?

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Anon proceeds to clap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Dlek3b1E) 10/02/17(Mon)06:34:57 No.143698450 >Another witness, speaking to ABC News, described how "chaotic" the scene was as the incident unfolded. >"It kind of sounded first like loud clapping coming off and then I think there was the first volley [of shots] 25 KB JPG and all of a sudden a second volley and my buddy's like '1 just got hit'. First we had no idea what was happening we thought people were just clapping extremely hard and we joined the clapping H-------- I wish I was making this up : Anonymous (ID: fcJ+pTj 10/02/17(Mon)06:36:33 No.143698620 >be American >get shot >start clapping >everyone else claps too 44 KB GIF
: Anonymous (ID: Dlek3b1E) 10/02/17(Mon)06:34:57 No.143698450 >Another witness, speaking to ABC News, described how "chaotic" the scene was as the incident unfolded. >"It kind of sounded first like loud clapping coming off and then I think there was the first volley [of shots] 25 KB JPG and all of a sudden a second volley and my buddy's like '1 just got hit'. First we had no idea what was happening we thought people were just clapping extremely hard and we joined the clapping H-------- I wish I was making this up : Anonymous (ID: fcJ+pTj 10/02/17(Mon)06:36:33 No.143698620 >be American >get shot >start clapping >everyone else claps too 44 KB GIF

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Anon uses Uber | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)22:43:47 No.852290538 >be me -Rectum >just returned from trip abroad >before boarding the plane consumed a large amount of greasy disgusting airport Exterior sphincter Exterior sphincter food Interior sphincter >aboard plane gorged myself on plane 235 KB PNG food and snacks >order an Uber home from the airport >Ahmedthepajeet.bangladesh >25 minutes into Uber trip my stomach begins an ominous bubbling >attempt to hold back the rancid stench but it becomes a battle between man and sphincter muscle >slowly let out a 10 second long burst of barely digested filth >Uber driver is flaunting covid restrictions not wearing a mask - big mistake >he begins with a few short sniffs then a larger one of confirmation >feel him glance back at me >he starts coughing and spitting violently >red faced and absolutely retching >suddenly I hear a wetness to the dry retching and hear him vomit all over the front of himself >want to laugh so badly but he's trying to say something through the chunks >OUT OUT GET THE F--- OUT he yells as he swerves over to pull up >attempt to claim innocence asking if he's okay >keeps screaming at me until I get out on the side of the road >he speeds off and minutes later I receive the alert I've been charged full fair for the ride >become consumed with rage because he charged me full price >immediately fire off emails to Uber about him illegally not wearing a mask and how the smell of his vomit made me personally ill - carefully leaving out details of my putrid fart >next day I am contacted by Uber and given a full refund for my journey as well as credits for some future rides >they assure me he has been dealt with >laugh uncontrollably for days about his stupid vomiting face and the fact I probably got him fired for smelling my bowels >honestly feels good to be alive
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)22:43:47 No.852290538 >be me -Rectum >just returned from trip abroad >before boarding the plane consumed a large amount of greasy disgusting airport Exterior sphincter Exterior sphincter food Interior sphincter >aboard plane gorged myself on plane 235 KB PNG food and snacks >order an Uber home from the airport >Ahmedthepajeet.bangladesh >25 minutes into Uber trip my stomach begins an ominous bubbling >attempt to hold back the rancid stench but it becomes a battle between man and sphincter muscle >slowly let out a 10 second long burst of barely digested filth >Uber driver is flaunting covid restrictions not wearing a mask - big mistake >he begins with a few short sniffs then a larger one of confirmation >feel him glance back at me >he starts coughing and spitting violently >red faced and absolutely retching >suddenly I hear a wetness to the dry retching and hear him vomit all over the front of himself >want to laugh so badly but he's trying to say something through the chunks >OUT OUT GET THE F--- OUT he yells as he swerves over to pull up >attempt to claim innocence asking if he's okay >keeps screaming at me until I get out on the side of the road >he speeds off and minutes later I receive the alert I've been charged full fair for the ride >become consumed with rage because he charged me full price >immediately fire off emails to Uber about him illegally not wearing a mask and how the smell of his vomit made me personally ill - carefully leaving out details of my putrid fart >next day I am contacted by Uber and given a full refund for my journey as well as credits for some future rides >they assure me he has been dealt with >laugh uncontrollably for days about his stupid vomiting face and the fact I probably got him fired for smelling my bowels >honestly feels good to be alive

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Anon has a home gym | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/18/18(Wed)18:45:20 No.46892035 Who here /homegym masterrace/? 88 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/18/18(Wed)20:12:52 No.46893265 IMG 1043.jpg 258 KB JPG >>46892035 (OP) # u mirin? >>46893476 # >>46893516 # >>46893615 # >>46893771 # >>46895126 # >>46898829 # >>46899213 # >>46899278 # >>46899320 # >>46899483 # >>46901027 # >>46901181 # : Anonymous 07/18/18(Wed)20:28:13 No.46893476 >>46893265 # jesus christ anon : Anonymous 07/18/18(Wed)20:39:04 No.46893615 >>46893265 # oh god : Anonymous 07/18/18(Wed)22:21:51 No.46895126 >>46893265 # >Local man kills himself me made guillotine >Neighboors heard the victim scream "LIGHTWEIGHT BABY!" right before the deed >>46899765 # : Anonymous 07/19/18(Thu)03:20:56 No.46899213 >>46893265 # >reverse image search >no matches found 60 KB JPG
Anonymous 07/18/18(Wed)18:45:20 No.46892035 Who here /homegym masterrace/? 88 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/18/18(Wed)20:12:52 No.46893265 IMG 1043.jpg 258 KB JPG >>46892035 (OP) # u mirin? >>46893476 # >>46893516 # >>46893615 # >>46893771 # >>46895126 # >>46898829 # >>46899213 # >>46899278 # >>46899320 # >>46899483 # >>46901027 # >>46901181 # : Anonymous 07/18/18(Wed)20:28:13 No.46893476 >>46893265 # jesus christ anon : Anonymous 07/18/18(Wed)20:39:04 No.46893615 >>46893265 # oh god : Anonymous 07/18/18(Wed)22:21:51 No.46895126 >>46893265 # >Local man kills himself me made guillotine >Neighboors heard the victim scream "LIGHTWEIGHT BABY!" right before the deed >>46899765 # : Anonymous 07/19/18(Thu)03:20:56 No.46899213 >>46893265 # >reverse image search >no matches found 60 KB JPG

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Anon Receives Gigachad’s Will. | /r/Greentext

: GigaChad 04/17/21(Sat)12:58:16 No.410129 >Anon , if you are reading this I am dead. Please don't waste your precious life on the internet like I did, I have left you $100,000 in my name , love GigaChad. 19 KB JPG
: GigaChad 04/17/21(Sat)12:58:16 No.410129 >Anon , if you are reading this I am dead. Please don't waste your precious life on the internet like I did, I have left you $100,000 in my name , love GigaChad. 19 KB JPG

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Anon learns the hard way. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)02:02:35 No.63252450 >come here as a curious soul at 15 wondering where all the funny greentexts come from >literally get shaped from a normie to a rabid misogynist and casual racist for the next 4 years 1.59 MB JPG >addicted to this site since then and almost flunked high school because of it >mentally unstable >dopamine receptors fried >rabid coomer >stopped socializing >angry at everything >think everything has an agenda and psychoanalyze every artistic medium instead of enjoying it >wake up when i was turning 20 >realized that i threw away my prime years trying to be "redpilled" >realized that i adapted terrible ideologies from angry guys on the internet just as frustrated and upset as me >realized that all i have left is to pick up the pieces of the life i broke oddly angry at myself for wanting to know where the wacky greentexts came from. 8 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)02:02:35 No.63252450 >come here as a curious soul at 15 wondering where all the funny greentexts come from >literally get shaped from a normie to a rabid misogynist and casual racist for the next 4 years 1.59 MB JPG >addicted to this site since then and almost flunked high school because of it >mentally unstable >dopamine receptors fried >rabid coomer >stopped socializing >angry at everything >think everything has an agenda and psychoanalyze every artistic medium instead of enjoying it >wake up when i was turning 20 >realized that i threw away my prime years trying to be "redpilled" >realized that i adapted terrible ideologies from angry guys on the internet just as frustrated and upset as me >realized that all i have left is to pick up the pieces of the life i broke oddly angry at myself for wanting to know where the wacky greentexts came from. 8 Replies View Thread

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Cold comfort | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)04:40:25 No.63252770 >have gf for a few years in my late teens >Her ex starts texting her at some point >Read her phone one day while she's asleep 3 KB JPG >"Well our relationship is different, I cuddle alot with anon, not just constant sex like it was with you" >"YOU not having sex constantly?!? haha well I never thought l'd see the day :P" >"Yeah well things change huh" Blackpilled for eternity. Alpha f---- beta bucks is REAL.
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)04:40:25 No.63252770 >have gf for a few years in my late teens >Her ex starts texting her at some point >Read her phone one day while she's asleep 3 KB JPG >"Well our relationship is different, I cuddle alot with anon, not just constant sex like it was with you" >"YOU not having sex constantly?!? haha well I never thought l'd see the day :P" >"Yeah well things change huh" Blackpilled for eternity. Alpha f---- beta bucks is REAL.

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anon wants to stay home | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/26/18(Thu)18:58:11 No.44962438 >>44963070 >>44960622 (OP) >Be me >Be 16 >Few weeks before prom (britbong) >Stacy that I liked asks me if I'm going to prom >"No, 1 wanna stay at home and play Counter Strike." >"Really anon? You can go with me. I'll be your date." >"I really wanna play Counter Strike." GOD WHY WHY DID I F------ DO THIS Anonymous 04/26/18(Thu)19:34:00 No.44963070 >>44962438 oh my god I want to slap the s--- out of you
Anonymous 04/26/18(Thu)18:58:11 No.44962438 >>44963070 >>44960622 (OP) >Be me >Be 16 >Few weeks before prom (britbong) >Stacy that I liked asks me if I'm going to prom >"No, 1 wanna stay at home and play Counter Strike." >"Really anon? You can go with me. I'll be your date." >"I really wanna play Counter Strike." GOD WHY WHY DID I F------ DO THIS Anonymous 04/26/18(Thu)19:34:00 No.44963070 >>44962438 oh my god I want to slap the s--- out of you

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Anon goes to guitar center | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)12:55:47 No.63256768 > The year is 2021 > You walk into a guitar center > you see 5 employees spread out over the store - Only one acknowledges your existence > "Can I help you find any gear today?" > They say it knowing damn well the 132 KB JPG response that is coming, " Na im just looking" > The stores stock is at half supply, probably has been for the past year > Only gear on display is either incredibly cheap or exspensive > $50 starter guitars and $2000 gibsons and fenders. > You browse the entire store, looking over everything as if you were going to buy it > After a good 40 minutes you find your way to the string area > you get a single pack of Ernie Ball slinkys > You go up the counter, "Is this all?" "Yes" >"Can I interest you in our string club? Is 25$ a month." > You decline > " How about a 5$ warranty on your strings? You never know wh-" >"No" >They begin to sweat, " How about signing up for our news letter and texting club? All we need is your nu-" > "No" > The manager peaks around the corner > "How about you open a guitar center gear club card? You can pay off these strings over ti-" "No" > The manager drags the cashier into the back room, his screams filling the whole store like a choir from hell > MEW I didn't even get to buy my strings
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)12:55:47 No.63256768 > The year is 2021 > You walk into a guitar center > you see 5 employees spread out over the store - Only one acknowledges your existence > "Can I help you find any gear today?" > They say it knowing damn well the 132 KB JPG response that is coming, " Na im just looking" > The stores stock is at half supply, probably has been for the past year > Only gear on display is either incredibly cheap or exspensive > $50 starter guitars and $2000 gibsons and fenders. > You browse the entire store, looking over everything as if you were going to buy it > After a good 40 minutes you find your way to the string area > you get a single pack of Ernie Ball slinkys > You go up the counter, "Is this all?" "Yes" >"Can I interest you in our string club? Is 25$ a month." > You decline > " How about a 5$ warranty on your strings? You never know wh-" >"No" >They begin to sweat, " How about signing up for our news letter and texting club? All we need is your nu-" > "No" > The manager peaks around the corner > "How about you open a guitar center gear club card? You can pay off these strings over ti-" "No" > The manager drags the cashier into the back room, his screams filling the whole store like a choir from hell > MEW I didn't even get to buy my strings

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Anon is a lovable person | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)11:01:11 No.63255735 >been on plenty of dates but could never get a second date >pay for professional match maker | JUST WANT TO DIE >meet with the match maker >talk for a long time and go into my dating failures and my personality >anon, you simply aren't a loveable person. I'm sorry, but I can't help you. I'll refund NICHOLAS WOLFF 23 KB JPG your money >tfw I realize I'm going to die alone Just f------ kill me already
Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)11:01:11 No.63255735 >been on plenty of dates but could never get a second date >pay for professional match maker | JUST WANT TO DIE >meet with the match maker >talk for a long time and go into my dating failures and my personality >anon, you simply aren't a loveable person. I'm sorry, but I can't help you. I'll refund NICHOLAS WOLFF 23 KB JPG your money >tfw I realize I'm going to die alone Just f------ kill me already

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